Want to send us a message? Your swinger profile, or your dating profile, will either make or break your chances with prospective play partners. . We have some tips for putting together a first-class profile that should make a great first impression. So sharpen your pencils, sit back, take some notes... It s class time!SHOW NOTESPurpose Of An Online PresenceThe Right Swinger Site For YouTo Swinger App Or Not Detailed DescriptionPreferencesPhotos - CurrentUpdate OftenProfiles, Profiles, Profiles Support the showWant More?👀 Watch on YouTube: YouTube ShowFull video versions and interactive live episodes!Bonus episodes, exclusive content, and 🌶️Extras: https://www.patreon.com/SwingerUniversity 🛳️🎉Looking for lifestyle events in your area? T4P is the go-to directory for clubs, parties, and resort events. Browse now at Ticket4Play.com Custom SU T-shirts and gear: Our Amazon StoreSwingerLinks.com - live schedule, special offers*, and our 🌶️links!Our Website - Leave us a message, articles, and sexy products3 Ways to get your question on our show:RECORD it on our website at: https://swingeruniversity.com/contact/EMAIL a recorded voice note to: [email protected]: (916) 538-0482 and leave a voicemail.* We get a commission if you decide to purchase through our links, at no cost to you.
Transcript
We have to talk about something we've been genuinely excited about for months, and our patrons actually got a preview of this already. Jamaica! Yes, we are going back, and actually, we have a great offer for you guys. Yeah, it's Swingcation. It's October 11th through the 18th at Hedonism 2. And if you don't know what Swingcation is, it's pretty easy. Swinger plus kink plus vacation. It's a hosted group with real structure, workshops, lectures, real conversations with experts who are passionate about bringing and bridging that gap between the swinger world and the kink world.
And we're not just going as attendees. We're going as featured presenters, which is exciting. We'll be leading sessions. So if you come, we actually get to hang out with you. Which brings up something we should mention. When you use our code, yes, we got a code, you're not just getting a discount. You're getting the signature swing experience, which means $100 off per person, up to $200 per room, but it also means that we make time for you. An exclusive breakfast, lunch, cocktail hour, or one-hour and one time with us directly, plus more surprise benefits.
Here's something that's really unique. You could actually contribute by hosting a discussion or running a Skillshare. I know it's scary, but if you have something that you want to contribute, that's a big part of why this event is so special. Everyone there has something to bring to the table. All right, details. If you book before April 25th, you save $400. Plus, they gave us that special code that gets you an additional $200, and the special code is SWINGERU-VIP. So book through TicketForPlay.com forward slash Swinky. That's T-I-C-K-E-T, the number four, play.com forward slash S-W-I-N-K-Y.
And use our code at checkout. And you guys, if you have any questions about the event, the resort, or what to expect, just reach out. I mean, we're here for you. We're happy to help. So once again, TicketForPlay.com forward slash Swinky, the code SwingerU-VIP. We really want to see you there. Hi, everyone. This is Phoebe. And this is Ed.
Today, we're going to let you in on how to present yourself when dating and swinging specifically where you should go and the best way to present yourself we will cover websites apps and how to build a really great profile welcome to swinger university with Ed and Phoebe. What is the purpose of these profiles on the dating sites? Well, it really is to advertise yourself as a couple, or if you're single, yourself. Who are you? What are you all about? What are you interested in? What are you looking for?
Really, it's kind of like a resume that other couples will look, browse, find you and go, that's somebody we'd be interested in finding out more about or getting to know, or in the case of swinging, someone we might actually be interested in playing with. Right.
I think a lot of couples also like the profiles because it gives them access to well once you've joined obviously you have access sometimes if you do the free option you don't have all the access that's a word of caution you may be able to send people friend requests or messages but you won't be able to receive them so it is worth it to once you land on a website, just pay that fee and get in down. You can go ahead and share the sexy pictures or the videos if that's your desire. But a lot of people really like to do that. It's it's fun. It's exciting for them.
And that's the perfect form to do so. And actually, if you click through on our website you can get a temporary free full membership on several of the sites that we have listed exactly the other great reason for having a profile is for events and a lot of events won't allow you to join if you don't have a profile or you can't even see the event if you don't have a profile. So you really have to be there and a member in order to get the 411 on what's going on in your area or nationwide. Event hosts will require you obviously to have one and you get to see who's going.
Now, I will say, not everybody that RSVPs to the event will go, so while the list may look really exciting to you, not everyone's going to be there. But it's your opportunity to go ahead and reach out ahead of time and start connecting with those people and see if they're going to be there. Not only will there be large events, nationwide events, but also the local house parties and sometimes get togethers and meet and greets will also be listed. So it's worth browsing the site to find what's going on in your area. Exactly.
Now, finding the right website, it will depend on your region in the United States or in the European countries. We know it's different. Spicy Match is big in Europe and in those countries. So when we decide to travel, we're going to sign up for Spicy Match. Why? Because it's got all the clubs that are listed. We can connect with other swingers when people post a hot date and we're going to tell you about that in a second we will be in the know because we'll be connected on spicy match there are several major dating sites for the swinging lifestyle sls cassidy lifestyle lounge, and SDC.
Adult Friend Finder is also a very large site. Our recommendation is to sign up on each of these for a free account. Browse to see who is in your area, how many people are in your area, and if there's more people on a particular app, that's probably the one that you want to sign up on because you'll have a higher likelihood of finding people to connect with. Exactly. The types of connections you're looking for are house parties.
There's also things called rendezvous or hot dates where people may be in your area, they're traveling and they want to throw up a hot date on the calendar and you do a meet and greet with them or wherever you coordinate to to you know have a drink date a dinner date whatever you decide but then they're not necessarily people that are traveling either sometimes it's just people that they're feeling frisky oh my gosh they got a babysitter that night and they they don't have a whole lot of time to make plans and they're just like you know we want to go out we want to go do something fun with somebody let's see who let's roll the dice let's see what we get and it's kind of fun it's a little random but it's kind of fun in addition to the web sites there are also apps that you can sign up for.
And we've mentioned some of them. Red Hot Pie, Spicy Match, Three Fun, Field. If you do a search in your app store, whatever it is, whether it's Apple's app store or Google's app store, and you just type the word swinger, a lot of times you'll see a dozen or so apps. They pop up all the time. Your mileage will vary. Sign up once again. See how many people are in your area and see whether that app is worth subscribing to because most of them will charge you money in order to communicate with anybody else. You can also sign up for vanilla apps.
And if you're dating, you're going to sign up on these apps anyway. Bumble, OkCupid, Tinder. Those are your standard dating apps where anybody who's looking to date or hook up is on there. Now, if you're a swinging couple or looking for a threesome, you can sign up there. But you may run across people who are recently divorced or co-workers who are also looking for dates. And I can tell you, I have run across this problem personally.
You may be outed as a swinger if you are signing up on these apps because, like I said, Bob from accounting might see your profile and go, wait a second, you're married. Why are you on the dating app? Right. Now, those are the vanilla apps. But use caution. Profiles. Let's get to profiles. You want to be thorough, thoughtful, and honest. And heck, some of the best profiles we've seen are short, but they're honest and genuine.
One person typically writes for the other, he, she likes X, Y, and Z, or he is really good at ABC abc right we've seen that format a lot in the profiles and it's really kind of nice when one partner writes what you like and it's it's just it's also a fun exercise it's kind of sexy and almost romantic to have your partner write something about you and then it goes in your profile. Yeah. You get to clarify why you think your spouse is hot and tell the world. Exactly. Obviously you want to be positive. Please don't use anything like can't, won't, don't. It's boring. It's negative.
And it kind of turns people off. preferences and boundaries in the category of don'ts or can'ts it's boring, it's negative, and it kind of turns people off. Preferences and boundaries. In the category of don'ts or can'ts, it's better just state which things you prefer to do or which things are hard boundaries for you. So as a couple, if you have rules that you've decided on, or as a single, if you've decided on certain things that you won't do, it's best to be upfront about those so that it's clear when people are browsing your profile to know whether or not you make their list.
For example, you may not like certain positions or you may not like certain things put in certain places. Specify that upfront. Then people who are looking for that won't look at your profile and we'll move on and no one is wasting their time. Great. Also, make sure you're asking for, if you're looking for an MFF or an MFM or any of those acronyms, and if you don't know what they are, like I usually don't, look them up on Google because I'm still learning about some of these today. You also want to be clear on whether you're bi or straight.
And honestly, if you don't know and you're still discovering your sexuality, come up with that. Just say it, right? Just say it. I didn't identify as bi before. Now I do. I was really uncomfortable in the beginning saying so, but now it's just, I'm comfortable with that. And as a small segue kind of into that, because we're going to talk about something that needs to be current. If your preferences change, update your profile.
It's that simple right you've suddenly discovered that you're by put it in there i will photos are the best this is what we all suck at if you can get the professional ones it's really gonna help right even if you just have a friend that's really good at photography or someone who can be objective to help you pick good photographs from all the ones that you have yes mirror selfies dirty clothes in the background pictures of your dog pictures of your pickup truck pictures of just your spouse but not you those are all not appropriate for a dating profile right or a swinger profile and if you need examples google them or or go to only fans or go to twitter or go to instagram and find you know some of these examples of of models they have great poses you could even google model poses for photos and try and and i would say pick your top three maybe five poses and just do a photo set in those poses easy peasy one and done yeah and even if you don't take amazing Instagram style photographs, if you at least take photographs that are in focus and well lit and have an appropriate piece of clothing on for that photograph so that people look at you and go, oh, that's a that's a well-dressed person.
I'm interested in talking to them. If you've got stains on your shirts and there's crap all over your floor, take a different photo. Hopefully not. Current photos, obviously. I realize, again, once again, we have busy lives and we may not be able to update our photos, but please put up your current photos. Ah, I can't tell you how many times, although it is getting better because I've been surfing the dating sites a lot lately. It is getting better.
But for a while there, I was seeing a lot of current and mixed with old right and so I just update just update we don't need to know the history and see 50 photos of you just give us 10 or 12 that's fine that's totally fine photographs in your profile that show that you're fun that you're interesting that you have great, you have things that you want to talk about or can talk about are all really good examples to put in your profile. If, and this is where anonymity comes in, especially with the lifestyle.
So for dating profiles, not so much of an issue, but for swingers, you don't necessarily want to advertise your face or who you are especially if you are on the vanilla sites looking for dates so there are many creative ways to take photographs of yourself and not show your face right a lot of people have very public facing jobs and they just cannot show their face and i totally get it so sometimes people will put that behind their private paywall not paywall but their private album yeah it's like a private folder that you can share selectively right sometimes people don't put them there at all but it will say it's safer there than sending someone a photo on their phone because you don't know what they're going to do with that photo.
What if the date doesn't go, you know, correctly or to your liking and now they've outed you? I mean, it's rare, but at least you have a time stamp on the private photos. You can lock them out or you can open them up. Yeah. And knowing that the people who are on that site are probably swingers or at least dating and looking for the, that thing that you're advertising, it's fairly safe to put your photos up on those sites. Once again, there are creative ways to blur your face. So if you feel like you need to, please do so.
And as we said, keep your profile up to date, keep your photographs up to date, because we all age we all change over time and you've got to be real when people show up for a date and you don't look like your photographs they're going to find out so just be honest up front and save everybody a lot of pain and suffering exactly we hope we have provided you with some great tips for getting started marketing yourself to the swinger community. This will help put your best foot forward and make a good first impression enticing other couples to come and meet you.
oh one last thing before you go if this episode helped you in way, the single best thing you can do to support the show is leaving a rating and review. It takes 60 seconds and helps new people find us when they're searching for relationship education. And we've made it easy. Visit swingeruniversity.com forward slash review. All the instructions are there. Thank you for being part of this community. We'll see you again soon.
