Want to send us a message? Have you ever had a night that changed everything? 🤯 We did. One minute we were a normal couple, listening to a podcast... the next, we were plunging headfirst into a secret swinger party we found on Craigslist! 😳Join us as we reveal the shocking, raw, and completely unexpected story of how we became swingers. We were nervous, excited, and totally out of our depth at this Share Your Wife party with total strangers. Things got WILD. 😱Curious about the swinging lifestyle? Want to know what it s really like to attend your first swinger event? We re sharing our unfiltered experience, from the initial curiosity to the moment we walked through the door.But be warned... there was a shocking and violating club entrance requirement we NEVER saw coming. 😨 You won t believe what happened!Whether you re new to swinging, considering exploring open relationships, or just love a crazy story, you won t want to miss this! Support the showWant More?👀 Watch on YouTube: YouTube ShowFull video versions and interactive live episodes!Bonus episodes, exclusive content, and 🌶️Extras: https://www.patreon.com/SwingerUniversity 🛳️🎉Looking for lifestyle events in your area? T4P is the go-to directory for clubs, parties, and resort events. Browse now at Ticket4Play.com Custom SU T-shirts and gear: Our Amazon StoreSwingerLinks.com - live schedule, special offers*, and our 🌶️links!Our Website - Leave us a message, articles, and sexy products3 Ways to get your question on our show:RECORD it on our website at: https://swingeruniversity.com/contact/EMAIL a recorded voice note to: [email protected]: (916) 538-0482 and leave a voicemail.* We get a commission if you decide to purchase through our links, at no cost to you.
Transcript
We have to talk about something we've been genuinely excited about for months, and our patrons actually got a preview of this already. Jamaica! Yes, we are going back, and actually, we have a great offer for you guys. Yeah, it's Swingcation. It's October 11th through the 18th at Hedonism 2. And if you don't know what Swingcation is, it's pretty easy. Swinger plus kink plus vacation. It's a hosted group with real structure, workshops, lectures, real conversations with experts who are passionate about bringing and bridging that gap between the swinger world and the kink world.
And we're not just going as attendees. We're going as featured presenters, which is exciting. We'll be leading sessions. So if you come, we actually get to hang out with you. Which brings up something we should mention. When you use our code, yes, we got a code, you're not just getting a discount. You're getting the signature swing experience, which means $100 off per person, up to $200 per room, but it also means that we make time for you. An exclusive breakfast, lunch, cocktail hour, or one-hour and one time with us directly, plus more surprise benefits.
Here's something that's really unique. You could actually contribute by hosting a discussion or running a Skillshare. I know it's scary, but if you have something that you want to contribute, that's a big part of why this event is so special. Everyone there has something to bring to the table. All right, details. If you book before April 25th, you save $400. Plus, they gave us that special code that gets you an additional $200, and the special code is SWINGERU-VIP. So book through TicketForPlay.com forward slash Swinky. That's T-I-C-K-E-T, the number four, play.com forward slash S-W-I-N-K-Y.
And use our code at checkout. And you guys, if you have any questions about the event, the resort, or what to expect, just reach out. I mean, we're here for you. We're happy to help. So once again, TicketForPlay.com forward slash Swinky, the code SwingerU-VIP. We really want to see you there. Have you ever stumbled across something so intriguing it changed your life forever? That's exactly what happened to us. One night, we were just a regular couple listening to a podcast. And the next, we found ourselves at a secret swinger party we found on Craigslist.
Nervous, excited, and completely out of our depth. A share-your-wife party with total strangers. Things got crazy. You won't want to miss the shocking and violating club entrance requirement we never saw coming. Stick around, because in this wild, unexpected story, we talk about how we became swingers. Welcome to Swinger University. I'm Ed. And I'm Phoebe. Yeah. So let's just get started. This is our other origin story. So we've done the episode where we talked about our first full swap experience. Yeah.
Check the link above if you haven't seen that story this was like way back this was like the first this is how we got started like the whole thing yes yes this crazy journey i remember very distinctly sitting on the bed i was at your house we were still dating and I was sitting relaxing on the bed it was after work and your office desk was also in the bedroom and you were in your office chair and you you turned around and you said hey I I wanted to share something with you I've been listening to this podcast called sex is fun and on one of the episodes they were talking about swinging and I was like oh really and and you said what what do you know about swinging what are your thoughts on this and I said well you know actually I thought about swinging when I was in my 20s and then then, of course, Ed's ears are perked up and he's intrigued.
And then the conversation starts, right? He's like, oh, well, tell me more. And I said, well, at the time, I was dating someone who was 30 years my senior.
And I thought, well, he's got to be, you know know he grew up in the decade when swinging was really popular I'm thinking you know the 60s and he was a drummer so I'm thinking he must have had a crazy wild life right and he's a drummer it was the 60s free love of course he's he's a swinger or's done it and so I bring it up to him while I'm dating and he was he was emphatically a hard no right which I was just crushed because I thought for sure he'd be up for an adventure like this and it shocked me i didn't expect the no i didn't expect it at all yeah yeah and so i got shut down and that was the end of that but i could have completely been on a swinger adventure in my 20s had i been with the right partner right i didn't know it didn't exist really exist i figured he knew he had like the inside track right and because he shut it down so hard and so fast there was no conversation about what if or does it still happen or blah right and so i i just acquiesced to his preferences and that was that fast forward a few years and here we are having this conversation about swinging and you were intrigued enough where you started to listen to the podcasts too and we started with one and then we switched to a different podcast and we were listening to every podcast we could about all of the lifestyle.
Yeah.
And at the time there was probably five, maybe seven and they'd pop up and they'd close down just like they do now right um you'd get you'd get invested in people's lives and i remember this one couple they'd always sit in front of the fireplace they must have been in a cold environment and they had a crazy cat that would run around their apartment and one time he like jumped up on their dining room table and like did everything off slide and like the candles sticks fell off and made this loud bang and I remember how hilarious it was but they were really entertaining and and then they stopped podcasting and I was so sad because I was actually learning a lot from them right and I loved hearing about their adventures and I wish I knew where they were today because i i was invested so we hopped around and i was listening to podcasts on the way to work on the way home and while i was at work so i was just like a sponge yeah soaking them all in well it's one thing to listen to podcasts or watch YouTube videos or try and learn all this stuff through other people's experiences but at some point it has to go from an academic pursuit to a practical pursuit and we we finally got to a point where we were scouring the internet trying to find where do you go to do this?
Especially where we live. We finally got to a point where we were scouring the internet, trying to find, where do you go to do this? Especially where we lived in Sacramento. How, where, who, what, what do we do next? Yeah, and I do remember researching vacations for adult vacations.
But at the time, Des he know they weren't even hinting that they are were swinger related at all that was just adult it was kind of like what's the other one um the expensive one that's adult only that's completely vanilla oh uh not temptations um it was right next sandals yeah sandals they were like that their websites were like that you didn't even know that they were swinger friendly and so back then i was like oh well okay i don't i don't know how are people doing this right what's our next step what do we do so we couldn't find any any adult dating websites, but we did find a Craigslist ad.
Yes. So at the time, Craigslist had a personal section, and there were ads being run for a share your wife party. There was another one, which is like a gangbang party, which we didn't go to. That was too scary. That one seemed like extra, extra.
But share your wife party there was another one which is like a gangbang party which we didn't go to but the that was too scary that one seemed like extra extra but share your wife sounded safe and I think the biggest conversation that we'd had about that and this this kind of goes back to the last episode that we went into which was we went at our own pace so we knew let's just let's just go and watch yes we don't we don't have to do anything right like if yeah if it gets too scary we can run like we can run but we had we were having a conversation with another couple on craigslist and we're having a dialogue going on and they said they were gonna go and so that also made us feel safe because we kind of knew somebody that was going and so we i was i was i took comfort in it but i was a little nervous because i didn't know if they had any expectations right because we weren't ready to to do anything but just watch right and i think they wanted more quite possibly that was my feeling quite possibly so we show up at this craigslist share your wife party i don't think they run them anymore they know i'm sure they stopped after like that first year of course craigslist is now defunct but we arrived at this party and you're all gonna laugh at this because basically it was like a junior high dance.
Oh yeah. Everybody was kind of standing on the sides or, or sitting on the couch and there was this really awkward porn playing on the TV. It was, it was really weird. There was like multiple TVs, lots of porn, no music and, and nobody was talking to one another. Nobody was socializing. No one was making introductions. There was somebody in the kitchen, because it was a two-level suite, and then I had a full kitchen.
Someone was in the kitchen trying to organize some snacks, which were really, it was like a box of— I think pizza had arrived or something like that it was strange so there you go painting the scene this other couple that we met so to speak finally arrived or we saw them at the party and we we kind of walked over to them and like stood in the corner with them because there's safety in numbers. Right. So here we were kind of awkwardly conversing with them, trying to figure out what our next moves were, what was going to happen. Because at this point, nothing is happening. Yeah, nothing.
There is nothing sexy at all about this party.
It just bizarre weird and awkward and there were a lot of single males there so not a lot of other couples right so i kept wondering when is the rest of the party showing up yeah where's the rest of the lives yes right thank you oh it was very weird yeah we're probably there for 20 minutes felt like it felt like hours yeah and then all of a sudden a couple walks in through the door tall tall slender brunette as she's hip hugger white jeans that are yeah yeah and a crop top i remember so she comes in the door with her partner in tow and she's just stripping straight taking off her jacket she starts taking off her top she goes straight upstairs to the bed yeah i mean this is like no conversation just in and up and stripping yeah and we're like wow well like well what is this who is this is this a show is this the entertainment i don't understand right first party have no idea what's supposed to happen have no idea what's gonna happen right next thing you know we all kind of look at each other and go, well, apparently, something's going on upstairs.
So we follow and we go up there. And, of course, we're like huddled together, staying very close to each other, making sure that nothing happens to us. And this girl is already naked and having sex. Yes. And the next thing you know, there's a whole bunch of single guys lining up to also have sex with this woman. Yes. And then who shows up at the party?
Grandma shows at the party yes after uh there wasn't there was like two i think there was two couples there were two couples on the bed there was a an asian asian woman with her partner they looked a little awkward yes and so they got on the bed they started to do their thing and then they got off and so i was like why are they so awkward and this other woman is so confident and comfortable and is this how it's supposed to be like right i don't I don't know so there's a quite a difference between comfort and non-comfort you could tell how people were okay yeah so an an older woman is there with her partner we call her lovingly we call her grandmother.
Right. Because she's probably in her mid to late 70s at this point. Oh, like now? No, then, during the party. Oh, I think so. Seemed like it. Anyway. Could be. She was an older woman. We'll just leave it at that.
And she had an agreement with her husband what we gathered we had a conversation with them very brief conversation where she was there to just have a gangbang as many single men as she wanted and so all the college guys were lined up and military guys yeah and holy shit grandma was having the time of her life and we were just blown away like she was having so much fun oh yeah and she had some killer calves oh yeah she had because her legs were in the air yeah great legs she was having fun she was having a lot of fun and i kept looking at her husband and he was just smiling he was enjoying just watching her right and and enjoying her pleasure and of course there were others uh during the lineup all the guys were standing around the bed you know jerking off which was a little uh unusual and a little we hadn't experienced that no i wasn't used to seeing that i wasn't used to seeing live sex for crying out loud so it was so not only i mean there was just a buffet of firsts in that evening and i thought for sure someone was going to grab us and drag us onto the bed because people were lining up to have activity.
And I thought, well, just by being there, does that mean we consent to having activity, sexual activity? Because we didn't know. I don't know. I mean, I don't know about, I didn't know about consent and negotiation and all that. Right.
Which we will get back to with our last story so bear with us you gotta you gotta hang into the end because we've got a great great wrap up for this and it's the whole room just smelled like sex oh yeah there were legs in the air and we were standing next to each other and there's this leg waving right next to our heads and i'm like oh my god and the whole time you were just waiting you're like hold on to me I don't want to get pulled onto the bed I was like arm in arm with with Ed I was like oh so that experience we walked out of there we stayed probably for a little bit the same thing kind of happened over and over again yes and eventually we were just i think just overstimulated we had no idea we we knew we didn't want to do anything so we didn't know what else to do so we were like we need to go talk about this it died down a little bit i i actually wanted to leave a little sooner but we were kind of trapped in a corner yeah and then once it started to clear out a little bit then we went downstairs and more things were continuing in the party and we got in our car i know i think people peeled off and went to other hotel rooms that's right they were going to do like an after party at another room and we were just like our mind was blown we sat in the car for a good 15 20 minutes before we even left the parking lot just trying to decompress everything that we saw we couldn't even speak because we were just overwhelmed it was amazing yeah yeah and it was one of those conversations we were just speechless literally and trying to process what we had seen like did that just happen did did we see what we think we saw like and then we were and of course while we were there we weren't talking we were just watching and so like having to like remember what we experienced and have the conversation afterwards and did you smell the sex and did you like all the sounds and did you see that thing and how about that yeah we we sat in the car for probably a good half hour 45 minutes just oh you went to a half hour 45 minutes i don't remember it just yeah was crazy yes so then we then we and we never went back we never did another one we never went back but we tried to figure out on our own what the heck happened yeah yeah um and and we've never seen that ever again nothing like that right never something kind of close yeah we've seen similar things but yes but yeah oh and the we left without i don't think we even said goodbye to the other couple no i think we just we bolted just like ran out but we did stay in touch and we went to the next event with them.
It was a club that was vanilla during the week and swinger on the weekends. Right. And this was a bar, pool hall, and hotel all in one. And the bar had a stripper pool.
There was a stripper a stripper pole yep yep so we we had this conversation with them about hey what's what's next what's the next club actually i think they had said we're going to this party would you guys like to go with us and so we we'd exchanged information and we showed up at this club and we were a little nervous going in and we show up and we see them arrive and so we all go in together so we're in a group now four of us well i remember sitting in the car being very nervous we re-arrived first and i was already having some some anxiety yeah and i because i didn't know what the hell was to happen.
I'd already seen the share your wife thing. And I'm like, is it going to be the same? So I'm really nervous. I'm trying to breathe. I'm trying to, I'm thinking of canceling. I don't even want to go in, but I rallied and we saw them get out, pull up.
We saw them get out of their car meet them inside and if you think she was nervous before wait till you hear what happens next oh my god so we walk in the door there's a podium with a big massive dude standing there signing people in right so that was like wow okay overwhelming next thing you know the host is coming up to us and saying thank you for showing up come in come with us into the office we have to do an interview with you before you can go in right right and so i was also nervous about like putting down my real name. Oh, the real names, right. They want a real name.
And we're trying to stay, like, under the radar. Can we provide our fake name? Like, they wanted all the real stuff. And I think our IDs also. Yes. And so, that was really disconcerting. That doesn't happen anywhere.
Well, actually actually it does happen at a real club sort of this wasn't a real club though it was a conversion so i didn't really know who these people are are they protecting my identity i don't know all these questions so overwhelmed so we walk into this office yes and this is when all four of us all four of us we're all in this office together with bright fluorescent lights the female manager and uh the big bouncer guy yes and the next thing she says is you need to all strip down before you go in and i was like what everybody kind of looked at each other and said huh why what does this have to do with going in here?
You had the biggest issue of all. I'm perfectly happy to just take my clothes off anytime anyone asks. But you for sure were like, I'm already really nervous about this.
And now what the fuck are you doing yeah you sprung it on me it wasn't anywhere listed i'm not prepared for this it's in a bright fluorescent room i'm not getting naked in front of one two three four other people i don't even know right Let alone the the bouncer right and and this couple we just met and i said i'd be willing to get naked in front of you the office manager but not everybody else and she said no right she said no and i'm like why so now i had all kinds of questions, so are you afraid I'm wearing a wire? Do you think I'm a cop?
I can unbutton my shirt and you could look, I could peel it open. And she's like, no, you have to get completely disrobed. I'm like, what about just down to my underwear, my bra and panties? No, you have to get completely naked. And I'm like, what the actual F? Right. I'm like, are there cameras in this room? Like, how do I know you're not filming me? You've got my face. You've got my real identity. Now you're like, what? I'm like, no, everybody. So I think the bouncer left. She negotiated with him to go. And the other two couple, they stripped down.
The woman was a little hesitant but she eventually did it you did it yep and i'm like fuck no i am not doing it and so the office manager she clears everybody including me even though i didn't i think you i think you did flash your bra i think i flashed my bra and that was it that was that was it now of course i'm standing there in my underwear okay can we talk about october for a second oh my god yeah i've been waiting for this we were invited to be guest speakers for two engagements on a six-star crystal cruise ship with 310 lifestyle couples and it sails from montreal to boston during the peak foliage season i'm super excited and honestly i'm really nervous yeah it's kind of a version of like a swinger TED talk that we're going to have to do.
Oh, my God. I know. And more importantly, if you know the brand, it's LLV, Luxury Lifestyle Vacations. You may have seen them and they're sexy playmakers with their fun red hats. This ship, the Crystal Symphony, is classy.
butler service for every single room michelin rated restaurants full spa clothing optional sensual playrooms like everything theme nights and international dj so it's luxury and nudity oh man this is gonna be great the bottom line is we want you there with us it's 310 couples and like all their vacations they book up fast they really do their vacations are extremely popular so please come with us and in order to find it all you have to do is go to rswingerlinks.com and look for the LLV Sensual Voyage. We hope you'll join us. Yeah. And so she's, but she made us get completely naked.
Maybe I was, maybe my wang was wiggling around. It's possible. I mean, it happens. So we all get, they all get get dressed and we go out the door where the podium is and she's like okay you can go in and i'm like fuck it i'm out of here i'm like this is bullshit i'm like i'm already now i'm really traumatized yeah i mean it it set the whole night to be weird mode. I mean, way off. And now, knowing what we know now, no club would ever ask you to do that. It is so weird. And we've never heard another story like this.
So if you've heard a story equally as weird or more disturbing, please let us know, because we've never heard anything like this before. It goes against everything about consent. It goes against everything about privacy. Like, why? There's still no reason for it.
We still, to this day, have no idea why they were asking we have good we have good guesses that we'll tell you about at the end yeah yeah we'll give you a little little hint we think we think we know why they did it so at that we're out of the podium now i'm feeling pressure to go in because we met people we agreed to meet them they wanted to meet us they wanted to get to know us and they wanted to go into the club with us and i am now feeling guilty that i want to leave like i want to run little conflicted yes and so now i'm letting them down but i have to honor myself so i'm like see ya bye i'm running out of there like the place is on fire and i'm'm like, let's just get to the car.
So, we go back to the car. They feel bad about me freaking out. And so, they hang out in the club. You and I are having a conversation in the car. And I am just losing my shit because I'm like so overwhelmed yeah and and pissed off because i feel like the manager ruined my perfectly good evening yeah we were nervous to begin with and now you're angry and nervous it was it was definitely not the start to a great night like everything at this point is like, I don't know how we're going to recover from this. We eventually calmed down, took some deep breaths and said, let's go in.
The worst part, the worst part's over, theoretically. Right. We hope. So, we go back into the party. Yes.
And we get the full experience we see what it's what's going on we see the bar the the porn on the tv there's some playrooms upstairs they're a little dark it's kind of hard to see what's going on and it wasn't on the floor wasn't particularly sexy no but there were people having sex and and we did get to watch the other couple have sex they were a little exhibitionist yeah and that was our first kind of experience with with that with another couple that we knew personally having watching them have sex in front of us which was super exciting it was a little awkward for me watching more live sex fully closed yes because i wasn't participating and it felt like i was just a weird peeping tom yeah and i would say to kind of characterize that night there there were spots for us to sit it was just me feeling a bit awkward well sure we we were kind of overwhelmed by the at the first party because of the unknown and then of course the very high sexual tension that was going on it was just hot and crazy this one was awkward and angry and and like violated and so the sexy probably wasn't quite as sexy as it could have been because right like everything is all thrown off it was yeah between fight or flight oh yeah fuck this was get the get the fuck out um so it it ended it ended with kind of a weird feeling where are all the the parties going to be like this?
Is this going to be? This was the second thing. I mean, this is how our experience started off. Right. We were just like, and I'm shocked because I'm like, I've probably listened to, oh, I don't know, 100 episodes of podcasts by then right at least 120 episodes that's like 100 hours at least yeah and and none of them none of them talked about this right and so now i'm feeling like completely unprepared because i went in so feeling like confident i did all my homework and none of them talked about this and that made me mad We'll be right back.
completely unprepared because i went in so feeling like confident i did all my homework and none of them talked about this and that made me mad right you're like oh my god how do we get steered so wrong about this whole thing like where what are we doing wrong what that what is this shit right right and we i remember just sitting in the car i think it because we had been to that club, I think, twice. We went back a different time, hoping for a different experience. And it was different, better-ish. We never really had a good experience at that club. And they don't exist.
They probably, I think they got shut down about a year, maybe a year and a half after we went and we found out. So this is the this is where we think what happened and why they did what they did to us. They were being investigated and we think that they were looking for people who were wearing wires and either it was a newspaper who was investigating them or it was the police. But because it was a hotel and because they had a fully licensed bar, they were paranoid about losing their liquor license.
And for anybody who's ever had any experience with alcohol, tobacco, and firearms, they around yeah and oh and nabc which is the alcohol beverage beverage and something i can't remember what that commission is yeah alcohol beverage commission you will lose your license so fast and if you are a bar and like that's your thing where you have like a dj and a dance club at night and you get people in there to drink and you can't serve alcohol anymore yeah business is dead they would have been out yeah so yeah who knows we we talked to other people who had been there before years decades later or years later we talked about and And they said, oh, yeah.
Who knows? We talked to other people who had been there before years, decades later, or years later, we talked about, and they said, oh, wow, we'd never had that experience. Right. We knew some things were changing with ownership, and they had some issues with being investigated, blah. This is how we learned it. But they'd never had that experience.
No and so it was probably very short-lived for like one or two weekends and they stopped doing it right probably because people were complaining about it oh my god it was so traumatic it's because we both look like cops yeah i guess i don't know who knows the perfect you know i don't know undercover person next door yeah so needless to say our first experiences were shit shows yes now i will say and this is for another episode so you'll want to come back we had many other experiences after this and our next experience was if this was like the lowest this next one was one of our highest experiences and it was fantastic is this the one with marianne yes oh yeah yes at a at a glow party and it was off the charts exciting so we'll have to do another episode where we talk about that for yeah for sure yes because third time is the charm right we gotta we gotta end on a high note although the first the share your wife was had some pluses to it yeah it wasn't a total shit show no but yeah the third one definitely epic yeah and and it took a long time for that one to ever get matched yeah so you you for sure will want to come back and and listen to that episode when we get it done so if you want to go on a vacation with us and have a good time it's not going to be like that Thank you.
and listen to that episode when we get it done. So if you want to go on a vacation with us and have a good time, it's not going to be like that. Yeah. So be sure to check out our website because we've got all kinds of vacations that we're going on. Next year, we're going on two cruises with Virgin. So you want to be sure to get on those cruises. Check out our vacation page on swingeruniversity.com. And don't forget to do your homework. Be sure to tell a friend and leave us a review and a comment. Tell us how else they can get a hold of us. I'm glad you asked, Phoebe.
You can also leave us a voicemail at 916-538-0482. And we would love to get a call and not just a robo call from spam people, but actual people who want to converse with this show. Or you can contact us at swingeruniversity.com. There you can send us an email or you can leave us a short message. And if you leave us a short message, it's totally anonymous. We'll get your little voice memo and we can include it in the show if you're interested. Yeah. Ask us a question. We'll answer it. Tell us your worst experience. Tell us if you've ever been strip searched going into a club.
Even if there's rubber gloves involved and as we like to say keep learning keep growing and keep it sexy Oh, one last thing before you go. If this episode helped you in any way, the single best thing you can do to support the show is leaving a rating and review. It takes 60 seconds and helps new people find us when they're searching for relationship education. And we've made it easy. Visit swingeruniversity.com forward slash review. All the instructions are there. Thank you for being part of this community. We'll see you again soon.
