Want to send us a message? This is our coming out episode. We ve been pondering coming out since day one of the podcast. And today is that day! It s not every day that this happens, it s a once in a lifetime event. SHOW NOTES: We re OUT!10 Years reflecting on AnonymityThe PodcastRisks for Coming OutRewardsWish Us Luck! Support the showWant More?👀 Watch on YouTube: YouTube ShowFull video versions and interactive live episodes!Bonus episodes, exclusive content, and 🌶️Extras: https://www.patreon.com/SwingerUniversity 🛳️🎉Looking for lifestyle events in your area? T4P is the go-to directory for clubs, parties, and resort events. Browse now at Ticket4Play.com Custom SU T-shirts and gear: Our Amazon StoreSwingerLinks.com - live schedule, special offers*, and our 🌶️links!Our Website - Leave us a message, articles, and sexy products3 Ways to get your question on our show:RECORD it on our website at: https://swingeruniversity.com/contact/EMAIL a recorded voice note to: [email protected]: (916) 538-0482 and leave a voicemail.* We get a commission if you decide to purchase through our links, at no cost to you.
Transcript
We have to talk about something we've been genuinely excited about for months, and our patrons actually got a preview of this already. Jamaica! Yes, we are going back, and actually, we have a great offer for you guys. Yeah, it's Swingcation. It's October 11th through the 18th at Hedonism 2. And if you don't know what Swingcation is, it's pretty easy. Swinger plus kink plus vacation. It's a hosted group with real structure, workshops, lectures, real conversations with experts who are passionate about bringing and bridging that gap between the swinger world and the kink world.
And we're not just going as attendees. we're going as featured presenters, which is exciting. We'll be leading sessions. So if you come, we actually get to hang out with you. Which brings up something we should mention. When you use our code, yes, we got a code, you're not just getting a discount, you're getting the signature swing experience, which means $100 off per person, up to $200 per room, but it also means that we make time for you. An exclusive breakfast, lunch, cocktail hour, or one-hour and one time with us directly, plus more surprise benefits.
Here's something that's really unique. You could actually contribute by hosting a discussion or running a Skillshare. I know it's scary, but if you have something that you want to contribute, that's a big part of why this event is so special. Everyone there has something to bring to the table. All right, details. If you book before April 25th, you save $400. Plus, they gave us that special code that gets you an additional $200, and the special code is SWINGERU-VIP. So book through TicketForPlay.com forward slash Swinkie. That's T-I-C-K-E-T, the number four, play.com forward slash S-W-I-N-K-Y.
And use our code at checkout. And you guys, if you have any questions about the event, the resort, or what to expect, just reach out. I mean, we're here for you. We're happy to help. So once again, ticketforplay.com forward slash swinky, the code swingeru-vip. We really want to see you there. So we were like, okay, well, what if we put like emojis over our face? And I'm like, yeah, it's kind of corny. What if we just blurred our faces? Okay, that's kind of creepy and weird. So it became like really awkward and not really, like it took the personality out of it. It's still, yeah.
You know, we might as well just not show our faces because just seeing, you know, from here down. Still wasn't great. Not a great thing. Exactly. Welcome to Swinger University, your horizontal enrichment program. Bringing you sexy lessons for sexy fun. Here are your hosts, Ed and Phoebe. Hi, this is Ed. And this is Phoebe. Today is a special episode because it's the first and last of its kind. We're losing our virginity. Once it happens, it's done.
There's no going back going back well we've crossed that threshold and here we are hopefully you will still respect us in the morning it's official we are out and if you're listening there's not much to see here but if you're watching us on youtube oh my goodness yeah this is uh this is different it's crazy we've we've got uh all kinds of stuff and we'll get into that yes i'll point some things out as when we get to that point so my palms my palms are sweating palms are sweating yeah our podcast isn't going to change too much but there's going to be a video aspect to all of our episodes now and that will be uploaded to youtube so if you want to see us as well as hear us then youtube's going to be a good platform um we are going to shorten our youtube episodes also for the short attention theater people like me, um, that have a hard time watching a YouTube video all the way through.
So we're going to try and shorten some of those up for you guys.
And I suspect what we're going to end up doing are shorter YouTube primed kind of videos and not necessarily shorten all of our podcasts down to youtube appropriate lengths right because people like to listen to us in the gym and on road trips yeah and podcasts are podcasts and youtube is youtube but that's true we're gonna have some content specifically for youtube and now our faces are out yes so 10 years of reflecting on anonymity yeah yeah so when we first came out well when we first started in the lifestyle that is we had no face pics just like everybody else when they start a profile online right when you're a swinger and then we decided well let's come out with our faces because it it just it seems so hard to connect with people online and dating and i got it was awkward and i was just a boob was a boob was a boob and a dick was a dick was a dick and it was like oh my god i can you just give me a face right so we just decided to come out with our faces and what was the the reason i mean that we kindly finally came up with we we kind of figured everybody who's on a site is on a site so you know the theory is that if they out you then it's like well how do you know they're swingers well i was on their site too okay well then you're a swinger also and we've been doing this for 10 years we've never heard of anyone being outed from a site um you know the closest we had was one halloween event where a single male tried to out every out the party, but nobody saw anything.
Right. The podcast. Well, if how are we if anyone listens to our voices, are they going to recognize us? That was another thing that we were nervous about, right? A little bit, yeah. So when we decided to do that, that was a consideration. And then we had stage names. Yeah, so we decided to do stage names, Ed and Phoebe, obviously. They're not our real names. To keep some of the anonymity. And then, you know, there's that struggle with going on a cruise and to PCAP and then being recognized directly with our brand, which was Swinger University Podcast. Right. How do we navigate that?
So all those little steps were all little, oh my God, oh shit moments. Right? Right. So all testing the waters with our faces the irony was we had long-time listeners to the podcast who we knew in our local community who we've been at swinger parties before and they didn't connect our voices right with ed and phoebe's voices right so we were like oh well that's hilarious's not that obvious. Okay, that's not such a big deal. And then why did we decide to come out? Well, about a year ago, almost exactly to the month, about a month away. Your favorite podcasters met us on the cruise. Yeah.
One of your podcasters we met pen and page on the the bliss cruise last november swinger diaries swinger diaries and no longer podcasting we had dinner with them and um they we had a great conversation with them it was a fun dinner started asking us, specifically Penn, started asking us very pointed questions about choices that we'd made, why we did certain things on the podcast. And I think a lot of it was kind of like getting inside of our podcaster mindset. But one of the questions that he really asked was, why didn't you come out?
Like, why don't you show your faces your faces why aren't you out there and we kind of had to look at each other for a little bit and go um we don't have a good reason for that let's get back to you let's get back to you or not and we spent basically this whole last year going okay what are some pros and cons we made a list thought through the whole thing right and the risks obviously to most people your your job right um does your job have an ethics clause we looked into that and our jobs do not so yeah yes um family oh well right after that was that before family under the umbrella of family.
Yeah. Was kids. Yeah. A lot of people are concerned that their kids are going to find out that they're swingers. My kids are all grown up. Um, so I'm, I'm less concerned about very involved with their own sexuality. So we figured they'll handle it. They'll be allowed. However they need to. Clap. And then our, you know, family, our moms and dads, your mom and dad, I'll just speak for you because they're not going to, they're easy. My dad doesn't really matter.
My mom, however, I, I'm more, I was more concerned about her emotional discomfort and I'm going to it to her because it would throw her world into a wicked tailspin. And I'm very protective of that.
So it took me a lot of time to really consider that yeah she has a very well defined worldview of how things are and how you are right and altering that yeah that's would force her to reanalyze a bunch of things in her life and i was like she doesn't need that kind of stress right now right right we've also kind of figured out that the likelihood of these two bubbles intersecting venn diagram style probably not very likely correct it would have to be a friend of hers child who happened to be a swinger which i don't think she would out to their parents who would then out to your mom right like it it would be pretty far yeah i'd be pretty surprised if your mom was listening to swinger podcasts right and she would have recognized your voice at this point correct so there you go and then what social stigma and fallout for that uh any kind of negative comments that we're gonna get and kate from wanderlust swingers can wanderlust podcast can can attest to that and the negativity that she's had to deal with and her funny reactions to those yeah she's got a whole bunch of tiktok videos that kind of yeah talk to some of that you know, we're a little nervous about that, but we have a much larger swinger support group community, Black and Kinky, Casual Swingers, Kate from One of the Swingers, you know, and a bunch of others that, and all the other younger swinger society and for our play that are coming out and really trying to normalize non-monogamy and pave that way for everyone to just be okay with who you are and what you do.
And yeah, and I wouldn't say that it's completely safe to come out at this point, but I would say that society as a whole is kind of shifting in that direction. There's a lot of interesting news and interesting studies that are coming out about non-monogamy becoming more and more mainstream every year.
So, you know, we're kind of coming out at a time where we're kind of dipping into the social mindset so crossing our fingers right gonna be okay there is one aspect of this that is probably the most concerning but once again like i don't know what the repercussions are going to be about um with like our neighborhood or with people we know and it's doxing and that's someone actually connecting faces and addresses and basically outing us and that we get harassed in our physical location in our normal lives and have to move yeah and that that would be unfortunate but i also i don't know that that's going to happen either.
What are some of the rewards? Well, one of the first things that we thought of is when you can see somebody's face, they're more approachable. And one of the things that I've always hated about like our YouTube videos, it's, it's just, it's a dancing logo, right? It's not personal. Like there's, there's nothing that says Ed or Phoebe about that.
It's just a blank screen it's kind of like staring at static right and we're more marketable now right so we have faces people can associate faces with our campaigns and our promotions and right all of our social media so we're gonna we're gonna be our faces are gonna be in your faces and so how is this gonna make it easier I don't know. So our faces are going to be in your faces. And so how is this going to make it easier? Well, it's going to be easier to produce content.
So one of the things that we struggled with in terms of like YouTube and TikTok is so much of that is like a dancing thing or you're doing something, you're interacting the camera and people want to see your face so we were like okay well what if we put like emojis over our face and i'm like yeah it's kind of corny what if we just blurred our faces okay that's kind of creepy and weird so it became like really awkward yeah and not really like it took the personality out of it still yeah you know we might as well just not show our faces because just seeing you know from here down still wasn't great not a great thing exactly and not only that but we've seen some podcasters that use masks you know cool cuteacy, whatever masks, we can tell who you are.
It doesn't really mask your face enough that people who knew you wouldn't be able to recognize you. And people who live in Virginia, for example, wouldn't recognize us on the street because we don't live there. So it's not like we're going to run across somebody who we don't live in the same community with. So anyway, it's not really a thing. The more complex or harder things to do is, you know, we have to look good. So my hair has to be done. You have to have clothes on. Like we actually have to put on clothes because we work naked. Just kidding. Sometimes we do. Yeah, so what to wear.
Like, what to wear. Makeup. And then that's just the aesthetic stuff. What about the technical stuff? Yeah, And this has been fun, fun and kind of like a sarcastic way. Lighting. So we've got lights behind us. We've got lights above us so that we're well lit. Oh, yeah. We forgot about that light. We got a little sparkle light over here, which you can see on the main camera, which brings me to the cameras. So I have a camera. Phoebe has a camera.
And then there's the the room camera and i'll kind of switch between them at different points and you'll see how that all works we've got props we've got did you see the flamingo we've got our flamingo here but we had to decorate the room and it's got to look presentable which means we can't have junk out on the desk, out on the table. You're crossing into that visual medium, and so it's got to look good, too. And editing. Now I have video that I'm editing, audio that I'm editing. I'm splicing between multiple cameras. So it takes my production stuff up to a new level.
And you have seen there's a new intro that we have because we can show our faces so i can do more exciting stuff the good thing is we've got a lot of practice yeah and really we haven't stopped once yet in this recording and really all you have to do is just do the camera angles yeah and the cute faces or the wacky faces we'll do a lot of like fourth wall crossing so it'll be fun i've been doing that a lot because it's fun yeah the and i guess the kind of the last thing that i'll throw in here is we want all of you guys to kind of wish us luck, cross your fingers for us, because this is a new venture.
We don't know how this is going to go. We are crossing our fingers that it's going to go well. Yes. But tell us your thoughts. Like, let us know what you think of the new format, whether you like the lighting and the setup. You can call us. you can email us. Yes, you can call. Definitely follow us on our social media and message us on social media. We love hearing from our listeners. Check out our cool new website. Yeah, and our website. We're making improvements to that.
Yeah, we've got plenty of means for you to reach out to us and and we'd appreciate if you did and of course tell your friends about our podcast because the more listeners that we have the more people get to hear our stuff and exactly we get to help more people which we love doing exactly so we all struggle with the fear of being exposed as swingers. We officially confronted our fear and stepped out into the open. Only time will tell if this was a good decision or a bad one. Oh, one last thing before you go.
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