Want to send us a message? How to keep the secret you are a swinger from your co-workers, friends and family. Lying is impossible to maintain, you re bound to trip up, and there s a better way. We help you come up with an alibi and share our 5 tips on talking about your adventures in swinging without outing yourself.SHOW NOTES:People IN your businessQuestions from co-workers/friends/familyExamples for each scenarioOur 5 TipsTIPS Take vanilla photos to share with friends and family.Schedule some vanilla activities.Stay close to the truth - fine line.Get your story straight (Think about your alibi ahead of time.)Know your connection. (Person/couple you are talking about.) Support the showWant More?👀 Watch on YouTube: YouTube ShowFull video versions and interactive live episodes!Bonus episodes, exclusive content, and 🌶️Extras: https://www.patreon.com/SwingerUniversity 🛳️🎉Looking for lifestyle events in your area? T4P is the go-to directory for clubs, parties, and resort events. Browse now at Ticket4Play.com Custom SU T-shirts and gear: Our Amazon StoreSwingerLinks.com - live schedule, special offers*, and our 🌶️links!Our Website - Leave us a message, articles, and sexy products3 Ways to get your question on our show:RECORD it on our website at: https://swingeruniversity.com/contact/EMAIL a recorded voice note to: [email protected]: (916) 538-0482 and leave a voicemail.* We get a commission if you decide to purchase through our links, at no cost to you.
Transcript
We have to talk about something we've been genuinely excited about for months, and our patrons actually got a preview of this already. Jamaica! Yes, we are going back, and actually, we have a great offer for you guys. Yeah, it's Swingcation. It's October 11th through the 18th at Hedonism 2. And if you don't know what Swingcation is, it's pretty easy. Swinger plus kink plus vacation. It's a hosted group with real structure, workshops, lectures, real conversations with experts who are passionate about bringing and bridging that gap between the swinger world and the kink world.
And we're not just going as attendees. we're going as featured presenters, which is exciting. We'll be leading sessions. So if you come, we actually get to hang out with you. Which brings up something we should mention. When you use our code, yes, we got a code, you're not just getting a discount, you're getting the signature swing experience, which means $100 off per person, up to $200 per room, but it also means that we make time for you. An exclusive breakfast, lunch, cocktail hour, or one-hour and one time with us directly, plus more surprise benefits.
Here's something that's really unique. You could actually contribute by hosting a discussion or running a Skillshare. I know it's scary, but if you have something that you want to contribute, that's a big part of why this event is so special. Everyone there has something to bring to the table. All right, details. If you book before April 25th, you save $400. Plus, they gave us that special code that gets you an additional $200, and the special code is SWINGERU-VIP. So book through TicketForPlay.com forward slash Swinkie. That's T-I-C-K-E-T, the number four, play.com forward slash S-W-I-N-K-Y.
And use our code at checkout. And you guys, if you have any questions about the event, the resort, or what to expect, just reach out. I mean, we're here for you. We're happy to help. So once again, ticketforplay.com forward slash Swinky, the code SwingerU-VIP. We really want to see you there. You're listening to Swinger University with Ed and Phoebe offering you the naked facts about swinging. Here are your hosts Ed and Phoebe. Welcome back this is Ed and this is Phoebe.
Today we are talking about how to keep your swinger adventures secret from your co-workers friends and family we're going to help you come up with an alibi please remember to like and subscribe to our podcast youtube channel rate, rate and review us on iTunes. And email us your questions. We love to hear the questions. I know. They're so fun. So please keep sending them. And we had a listener write us, just a brief thing, and asked why I mentioned kilts all the time.
Oh, a few times i have scottish heritage and i love attending the highland games as well so we'll keep our eye out for you listener such a small world it's a very small world everybody is in your business whether they want to be in your business like they're your nosy mom or your nosy neighbor right like everybody's got that nosy person that's always trying to find out what you're doing but even your kids and your family want to know where you're going, what you're doing. Your friends, your co-workers ask you questions all the time. So what did you do this weekend? Right.
So here are some of the common questions that you're going to get bombarded with as you're swinging through life. Right. Some of them I'm sure you've already heard. mom why are you dressed like that yeah that where are you going how come you're packing that fill in whatever your imagination wants to in terms of what's in the suitcase but yes where do you know them from so you're oh yes and then you go oh that's a classic mom question oh they sound nice where do you know them from uh right a classic co-worker question what did you do this weekend I'll see you next time.
them from uh right a classic co-worker question what did you do this weekend that one was hard for me in the beginning to respond to with a straight face right because you're all giddy smile hey not much and then you know another kid question why'd guys get back so late? I thought you were going to be back at 10. And, of course, the classic. How long are you going to be gone? Checking the clock. As long as we want. As long as we want. Don't wait up. Go to bed. Right.
Here's some common examples of lifestyle experiences, adventures, and some kind of suggestions about thinking about those events.
So as an example, we're going to start from the simple one and go to the more elaborate ones right and we'll remember to come back to some of these questions with answers when we were posed a few of these absolutely date night so you got a date with another couple, you're go meet for drinks local bar or a bar outside of town wherever you coordinated it so some of the responses we've given is just simple like oh we're just going out for drinks with some new friends and if you can you can add a little bit of detail in terms of like where you met them from if you can be creative it could be a work thing it could be friend of a friend it could be somebody you met at some other event so once you get a few events under your belt you can start to connect things oh you remember that halloween party yes i was just gonna say that that's been really handy with the mom right oh that sounds lovely where did you meet them from oh halloween party a few years back which is true totally true and that leads us to the next one which is some kind of a house party and and this can be this could be like a house party where there's like a hundred random people that you don't know but it could also just be small four or five couples getting together for barbecue a little pool time hot tub time some social distancing i know it's pretty simple you stick to the facts yeah what are you gonna go do we're going to a pool party at some friend's house we're gonna have a barbecue listen to some music you know catch up exactly really easy super simple you don't have to get into the dirty details you just pick the fine points of the facts from the event exactly then you go to your hotel takeover, which requires an overnight stay.
You know, where are you going? Oh, we're going, you know, to, let's say, Halloween party. When are you going to be back? Tomorrow. Where are you staying? At the hotel? Why? Just in case we drink. Exactly. We don't want to drive. We want to be safe and we're going to model good behavior exactly now one caution which is true yeah it's totally true and that's exactly why it's just not as fun as you know that's one of the reasons why we get a hotel room when we do a hotel takeover. One. One. Here's a tip with this one, though. Don't be too specific. Right. Like the name of the hotel. Right.
That's like... Sometimes events end up on the news, like our Halloween party did. Yes. Was it the Halloween party or was it New Year's? No. It was New Year's. It was New Year's, yeah. It was New Year's because we were questioning whether there would be any more events ever. Because of. Right, and who knows now with COVID. Yeah, that's a whole other thing. Yeah. So be careful with being too factual because if you list the actual date, time, location, then people can start connecting dots.
So with something that's happening locally or might show up on the news and you never know i mean you i had a co-worker one time that said oh i'm going to a hotel party a halloween party too which hotel is it at you know if you don't want to be outed and you don't want to you know and you have no idea at that point is my co-worker potentially a swing or two right i can't say anything at work and i don't want to out myself to this person right here right so i had to scramble oh i don't know ed set that up ed did all the reservations for me all i know is i just have to show up and be pretty and that's a classic right escape dodge exactly this because i can use the exact same story and as long as those two parties don't get together, her co-workers and my co-workers, which is highly unlikely, unless you live in a really small community, it's pretty easy to dodge those kinds of questions.
Okay, can we talk about October for a second? Oh my God, yeah. I've been waiting for this. We were invited to be guest speakers for two engagements on a six-star crystal cruise ship with 310 lifestyle couples. And it sails from Montreal to Boston during the peak foliage season. I'm super excited. And honestly, I'm really nervous. yeah it's kind of a version of like a swinger TED talk that we're going to have to do. Oh my God, I know. And more importantly, if you know the brand, it's LLV, Luxury Lifestyle Vacations.
You may have seen them and they're sexy playmakers with their fun red hats this ship the crystal symphony is classy butler service for every single room michelin rated restaurants full spa clothing optional sensual playrooms like everything theme nights and international dj so it's luxury and nudity oh Oh man, this is going to be great. The bottom line is we want you there with us. It's 310 couples and like all their vacations, they book up fast. They really do. Their vacations are extremely popular. So please come with us.
And And in order to find it, all you have to do is go to our swingerlinks.com and look for the llv sensual voyage we hope you'll join us and then you you'll have a babysitter or a parent um caretaker that'll that'll say oh you know where's the hotel and you just you could just say the city you know right we're gonna be in downtown exactly um it's at the whatever one of the major hotels again ed set it up you got my number you got my cell number it'll be on me all night just reach me there if you need anything boom yes and the likelihood of someone getting a hold of you at the hotel at the hotel no one does that anymore yeah it doesn't work like that i mean everybody's got their cell phones on them so yeah that's easy that's actually great technology is helping us exactly i know all right now we're going to get into a bigger trip a bigger swing event yep and and one day we'll have one of these again i know we're we are not on the november 2020 cruise because we don't think this stuff is going to be over by then which is no so we canceled and we put all that money towards 2021 and hopefully that will we're just rolling it over yeah cruises yep here's some really good news bliss cruise doesn't publish their swinger cruise on the same site as their other cruises so if you tell mom or a co-worker or whoever that you're going to be on celebrity cruise in november there are plenty of cruises that show up and they parallel each other so no one's gonna know for sure which cruise you're actually on and the charter cruises don't show up on their on the uh like celebrity or correct any of those cruise lines they don't they don't publish it yeah and that was an issue i mean i had to research that and i called some people because my mom she loves details sherlock holmes she yeah and so i'm like i could only dodge the whole oh i don't know what ship it is for so long oh i don't know what ports those are i booked that a year ago i totally forgot I mean some of that works but then as it gets closer you still have to you can only dodge for so long yeah yeah so in that sense because they're chartered they won't they're not published so yeah so they won't just don't use the word bliss cruise otherwise you can google you can Google that and they're going to know right away.
Name the cruise line. Yep. And potentially you could name the ship, but I would avoid that. Just name the ports. I would name the ports. Yeah. And here's the example. Hey, we're taking a Caribbean cruise. We're going to Costa Maya and Belize, and and then you can go in fill in details about the cruise they could describe any cruise oh we had dinner at this great restaurant the the shows at night were fantastic you know the music was great there was a prince cover band yeah like all of That really happened. Exactly.
We just leave out the parts about hitting the solarium every night and banging random couples i don't know maybe you work at a company where that goes over well but that would not go over Well, i work at bliss cruise it would yeah maybe then you get your destination resort which i we've never been to one and i don't know how exactly you gotta be creative yeah so ed you've got some suggestions for this because i yeah i was like oh good luck i don't i don't know how you're gonna be vague about that yeah and a lot of people go to these a lot oh sure you got hedonism desire there's two different desires there's pearl yeah Yeah.
First tip. Be vague. You don't have to get specific. Like, don't name. Desire. No. That's a... You're going down to stay in Cancun for a week.
It'll be so nice to relax on the beach have a few cocktails and unwind it's just a mexican well what if you get someone that says oh that sounds so lovely ed are you gonna stay at one of those all-inclusive resorts absolutely oh really which one i've been to so many i just love it down there now you can name some that are in the area and they're not going to be able to know whether you actually went or not true so you can think of or find some of the other neighboring places oh and i would even say i was thinking well if you're a nudist and your your family is very comfortable with nudity and your whole family's nudists you could say oh we're gonna go down to one of the nudist resorts but then that would open the door to oh really i didn't know there was one down there what's it called and then you're screwed right so well and you can kind of like a misdirection you can point them a different place.
If it exists, yeah. Most of my coworkers don't ask for that many details. Right. Right. Your mom, on the other hand. The coworkers really don't. I mean, unless you're truly good friends with them. But family tends to, certain family. Moms tend to. Moms always want to know where you're at. They want to know you're safe. You're going to be home time for dinner. Yep. They want to know where to find you if you don't come home. All right. So I'm going to loop around to one question that we didn't address. I think we addressed most of them about, well, let's go through them again. All right.
One question that we didn't address, I think we addressed most of them, about, well, let's go through them again. You get the question from your kid. Why are you dressed that way? You know, you've got teenage daughters. Usually they're going to ask you that. So either you've dressed way too conservative for the, you know, going out dancing date night right and they're like mom you need to sex it up or you've dressed way too sexy and they're like where are you going right raises some eyebrows so i've done my fair share of quick changes in the car. I've worn a long coat. Yep. Trench coat.
It can work if you're quick to get out the door and you're, but I've had the question, wait, wait, I want to see what you're wearing. I want to, I want to take a photo. Oh no. We're running late. We'll take photos and show you tomorrow.
That was a little, that was was a little scary that's when the quick changes in the cars became more of a necessity um you're packing for a trip how come you're packing that you're going to the alps why are you taking you know that see-through dress you don't want those questions you don't want those questions if you're packing lingerie and you're packing dildos and straps and you know fuzzy cuffs you just need to do that you know away from prying eyes the last minute what i did was i rearranged or gathered all my clothes my outfits ahead of time laid them out on the bed took a photo and then i knew exactly what needed to go in the suitcase lickety split right because i could do that when the kids weren't home and i had time to think uninterrupteded, nobody busting through the door, or why is the door locked?
And then, you know, boop, pictures taken, things go back, done. And another tip with that too, you can get disposable garment bags and you can pre-bag your clothes.
They're, you know, see through the plastic you can group all your outfits together hang them up and then they're out of sight out of mind no one can see them and when you leave for the trip you just grab those off the rack assuming your daughters don't go through your closet looking for clothes to wear well i was fortunate ours didn't so but i know that happens too so you you gotta get creative um where do you know them from this is a good one now depending on who's asking the question you can give them a different answer right classic example i know them from work if they're not from work then you can give them the work answer right and we talked about you know what to tell the mom i know them from the halloween party etc right another one that i have heard people use is oh we know them from church oh that's a classic one that's like a totally safe answer no one's gonna I don't know.
have heard people use is oh we know them from church oh that's a classic one that's like a totally safe answer no one's gonna ask that gotcha so friends of friends friends of your travel agent friends from oh yes i've used the travel agent yeah we're friends with the travel agent because we are we are friends with the travel agent and we've gone and hung out with people who we met on the cruise right who were friends with the travel agent right so think through the six degrees of separation kind of pathway and figure out a way to describe them right it doesn't give away a whole bunch of detail but is and general enough to give someone a sense of connection because that's all they're trying to do is like oh i i don't know them or i do i might know them people are always trying to connect what did you do this weekend we covered.
Lots of details about vanilla type activities that you did. Just keep it to the vanilla and just leave out the saucy bits. Saucy bits. All right, give them our five tips.
Tip number one, take vanilla photos to share with your friends and family so you're on the cruise over the railing selfie picture you and the wife get a great picture of the ocean get a great picture of the deck now depending on what time it is there will be people there in the background so what we did was got up at six o'clock in the morning one day when the sun was rising which was beautiful took a bunch of pictures up on deck and nobody knew that that entire deck in one hour was going to be filled with a bunch of naked titties. I know. It was very G-rated. I had no idea.
But if you're going to a destination resort, if you're going any place, even a Halloween party, you can take pictures. Just, you know, take it from the shoulders up. Or take it pointing in a direction away from people who are doing naughty things and if you get if you happen to get off in the boat for the ports of call that that's those are the perfect pictures right there plenty and those are the pictures people want to see too exactly oh what did you see where you see? Where did you go? Yep. Here's the pictures. Easy peasy. So take pictures, vanilla, friends and family, all good. Yep.
Schedule some vanilla activities like the ports of call, getting up shopping at the mall, when you do a hotel takeover, you went out to dinner. All of these are vanilla activities that are very easy to Thank you. In the mall, when you do a hotel takeover, you went out to dinner. All of these are vanilla activities that are very easy to give details. Right. Photos in the hotel room if you're, you know, doing a hotel takeover. Could be you getting your hair done. Right. See? Easy. Totally. Stay close to the truth. This is number three. Stay close to the truth.
It's going to be a fine line, but as close as you can. And it works every time. It's really hard. And this is why I want to emphasize this tip. It's really hard to maintain a lie yeah everybody gets caught because if you make too elaborate a story, you can't fill in the details fast enough. No. So stick to the truth and then you're not making a bunch of stuff up. You're basically just omitting details. Yep. Much, much easier.
get your story straight and think about your now details yep much much easier yeah get your story straight and think about your alibi ahead of time yeah so you and your spouse have the exact same story this is where we went this is who we talked to this is what we did and you kind of go from there super easy easy. And then what's number five? Know your connection. So if you've got a person or a couple that you're talking about, who are you talking to about that person? Is it a work person that would know this other person? i happen to work with two people who are in the lifestyle.
So if I start making work associations, then other people from work are going to catch the connection. Oh, I didn't know they were going to be there. Right. So know that you can connect them to you, but maybe avoid a connection to somebody who you're talking to think about the pre-connection connection based on the connection right in other words don't say you're going to go hang out with church friends if you're talking to a church friend don't talk right hanging out with work friends with a co-worker because they're like We'll be right back.
say you're going to go hang out with church friends if you're talking to a church friend don't talk about hanging out with work friends with a co-worker because they're like why wasn't i invited so a little bit of distance yeah with the connections keep keep a healthy separation between who you're talking to keep an extra degree of separation in there and it's pretty easy i. I mean, with the exception of the two co-workers, I'm never going to say that I was swinging. Not that I'm going to out myself. I thought it was three. Three now. Is it three now? Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah, it is three.
I don't count him. I only count her. No, there's three. Two women, one guy. Two women, one guy. But the one woman and the guy are a couple. Oh, right. Yeah. I don't count him. They kind of count as one. Right. Gotcha. The key is stay as close to the truth as you can and focus on the vanilla. Thanks for listening. Thanks, everyone. Before you turn off our podcast to take care of all the vanilla things pulling you away, please reach out and give us a review. I know mashing a star is so much easier, but a review is so much better for sharing your love of what we're doing with others.
We would appreciate it. If you want to share a personal story, ask us questions, or share your comments, you can contact us at swingeruniversity at gmail.com. Check us out at swingeruniversity.com, where you can find links to our Twitter and Instagram feeds. Thank you for listening to Swinger University, your Horizontal Enrichment Podcast. Oh, one last thing before you go. If this episode helped you in any way, the single best thing you can do to support the show is leaving a rating and review. It takes 60 seconds and helps new people find us when they're searching for relationship education.
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