Want to send us a message? This is our second episode in our onboard episodes where we discuss the adventures on our first day back on the Bliss Cruise!Show Notes:BoardingThis thing is HUGEFoodBalconies serve one purpose onlyEntertainmentA few bumpsFriends and Firsts Support the showWant More?👀 Watch on YouTube: YouTube ShowFull video versions and interactive live episodes!Bonus episodes, exclusive content, and 🌶️Extras: https://www.patreon.com/SwingerUniversity 🛳️🎉Looking for lifestyle events in your area? T4P is the go-to directory for clubs, parties, and resort events. Browse now at Ticket4Play.com Custom SU T-shirts and gear: Our Amazon StoreSwingerLinks.com - live schedule, special offers*, and our 🌶️links!Our Website - Leave us a message, articles, and sexy products3 Ways to get your question on our show:RECORD it on our website at: https://swingeruniversity.com/contact/EMAIL a recorded voice note to: [email protected]: (916) 538-0482 and leave a voicemail.* We get a commission if you decide to purchase through our links, at no cost to you.
Transcript
We have to talk about something we've been genuinely excited about for months, and our patrons actually got a preview of this already. Jamaica! Yes, we are going back, and actually, we have a great offer for you guys. Yeah, it's Swingcation. It's October 11th through the 18th at Hedonism 2. And if you don't know what Swingcation is, it's pretty easy. Swinger plus kink plus vacation. It's a hosted group with real structure, workshops, lectures, real conversations with experts who are passionate about bringing and bridging that gap between the swinger world and the kink world.
And we're not just going as attendees. we're going as featured presenters, which is exciting. We'll be leading sessions. So if you come, we actually get to hang out with you. Which brings up something we should mention. When you use our code, yes, we got a code, you're not just getting a discount, you're getting the signature swing experience, which means $100 off per person, up to $200 per room, but it also means that we make time for you. An exclusive breakfast, lunch, cocktail hour, or one-hour and one time with us directly, plus more surprise benefits.
Here's something that's really unique. You could actually contribute by hosting a discussion or running a Skillshare. I know it's scary, but if you have something that you want to contribute, that's a big part of why this event is so special. Everyone there has something to bring to the table. All right, details. If you book before April 25th, you save $400. Plus, they gave us that special code that gets you an additional $200, and the special code is SWINGERU-VIP. So book through TicketForPlay.com forward slash Swinkie. That's T-I-C-K-E-T, the number four, play.com forward slash S-W-I-N-K-Y.
And use our code at checkout. And you guys, if you have any questions about the event, the resort, or what to expect, just reach out. I mean, we're here for you. We're happy to help. So once again, TicketForPlay.com forward slash Swinky, the code SwingerU-VIP. We really want to see you there. Welcome to Swinger University, your horizontal enrichment program, offering you the naked facts about swinging. Here are your hosts, Ed and Phoebe. Hi, this is Ed. And this is Phoebe. Day two of our adventure on the cruise. It's actually the first day of the cruise that we're going to talk about today.
Yes. Which was Sunday fun day. Sunday fun day. Woo-hoo! We started the day off by having a little breakfast and getting all the bags packed and getting ready to venture onto the boat. Yes. And it was pretty seamless as long as you followed all the instructions and stayed on top of it. But it was a lot of repetitive checking of information.
So if you had your boarding pass your vaccination card your permission slip your you know legal documents to hand over your first born you're all set yep but it was you had to show the same documents multiple times i think about five different times it was pretty insane so i made sure i did a lot of smiling and a lot of yes ma'am and a lot of yes sir because i didn't want to piss off anybody for any reason because i wanted to get on that damn boat gotta get on the boat i was just very tried to be very pleasing and extremely accommodating because i didn't want any hang-ups. So we get on.
Finally. Oh, my God. It's so nice. We get on the boat. As you know, actually, I don't know if we've talked about it. It'll hold 5,400-plus people. We heard it holds about 6,000.
And this time, there's only 4,000 on the ship 4 000 on the ship about a lot of it because of of covid um and people needing to have their vaccine so larger boat same amount of people as in cruises in the past so it it's a little the crowds are a little more dispersed and so it's um feels you know obviously more spread out but they're trying to do a good job of grouping people together for in certain areas of the ship yeah there's like a promenade basically a main kind of walking mall right and that seems to be where the big most the action is yeah yeah and we'll talk about that in a little bit but when we first got on we we had our stuff we headed up to the pool just like most people do um gotta wait for your bags to get to the room exactly and right away we saw the sapphic swingers and so we were super excited to meet them again we'd been on a cruise with them before and met them at um i always call it twist but but it's not Twist.
Trapeze, yeah. Trapeze. It's the other team. We weren't on the same cruise as them. We ran into them after we got back from our cruise. Yeah. Well, she said we were on the same cruise, so Tiff did. And so then I was like, wait, were we? I can't remember. Two years ago. So long ago. It was a very long time ago.
But they're the're the nicest sweetest individuals ever they are if you ever have a chance to meet them they are have the most bubbly positive personalities ever they light up a room and they're always this way ever always they're always they're like on a they're all the time yeah they're like super cool running into you know the people from disneyland where everything's happy and i don't think they can go more than 20 feet before running into somebody they know oh i know having to say hi i know it was great hilarious so we ran into them we said hello and that was super cool and let's see so that we've become uh instagram friends with torrid souls and they're on the boat someplace but we have not run into them i know we're trying to find them 4 000 people we haven't we haven't found them yet i know and and as far as people go in the boat there is just about everyone from all age groups all shapes all sizes yeah yeah it is spectrum the entire you know continent or world here on this boat yeah yeah there's a there's even a french class some french meet and greets that are going on so that's right there's a full international compliment uh but yeah everybody from all over the country and from international as well yeah it's wonderful so you know you get you get everyone here so you do you feel welcome um from any age group or or um nationality yeah demographic we're all here yeah that's pretty cool as far as let's see we're going to talk about some of the the things on the ship as far as food as far as um bars, things like that.
Right. So let's start with food and finding food. Yeah. Yeah. Food's interesting. The buffet is not quite the full buffet that we've had before.
And I think what they've done is this is a different kind of ship than we were on last time and the restaurants there's specialty restaurants and then there's other restaurants so there there's um oh we just ate at it today it's a mexican restaurant off the back of the boat and instead of having that food in the buffet it's in a separate restaurant right and so the last buffet we were in everything was all in one place except for some of the specialty restaurants and so now the free food that you'd normally find the buffet is scattered all over the ship right so it makes it really hard you think it's easier but it's harder right because then you your limit if you just want to go to the buffet and you're like, screw it, I just want to go there, I want to get everything there, you can't.
Right. It's the same stuff every day. At least it is two days in a row. Or they change it and it's just something you didn't want to eat that day, which means that you have to go find the other and other restaurant. Now you have to go find the other thing. And then you have to look at the board and you have to figure out what you're hungry for. And then you got to go find it. It's just annoying. It's a little complicated. I'd just rather just go to the buffet and go to the Italian section or go, you know, to the Mexican. You know, if I'm hungry for Mexican food, I'll just go to that.
You can't do that. You can't do that. So it's kind of annoying. Let's see. What else? Oh, well, you know, you can always get room service too, which would be worth it for the breakfast because breakfast is also very spread out. So there's that.
There is no shortage of bars on the the boat no there are pop-up bars and built-in bars everywhere like so that is the bonus you just drink your calories and you're set for the ship who eats food i mean yeah why why eat just drink it's all good um but yeah there are literally bars everywhere you can't go more than 50 feet without hitting a bar Here we go.
i mean yeah why why eat just drink it's all good um but yeah there are literally bars everywhere you can't go more than 50 feet without hitting a bar yeah and speaking of drinks if you actually want water or that's a little harder to find that's a little harder um even the gym's drinking fountains were turned off uh-huh um the you can't just walk up and and drink at a fountain you can't just walk up and get your own water in fact you can't walk up and self-serve yourself anything you can't self-serve yourself any condiment yeah yeah everybody's behind a water drinks so does nothing everything is served a little challenging to you yeah and that helps i guess to keep well i know why it keeps things clean and covid free the other thing that they've done to maximize their money on drinks is that you now have to purchase yeah they're uh like plastic sippy cups you know they're they're non-spill drink cups and we tried to get a cup from the counter just you know normal water glass and fill it up from the soda and the guy ran over to us and was like no no you have to have a special cup for this but only for a special machine in a specific spot on the ship and i've never seen another machine anywhere else.
I have started to spot those, the little red multi-beverage drinks. But once again, you're trying to look in 20 different restaurants in between all the people to hunt down a machine because you have your special sippy cup that you have to carry with you all day long. It's just effing annoying. Not a fan. Yeah, not a big fan of the upsell on a lot of the small stuff. But the good thing is they didn't cost us in the door for the drink package like they did last time. That's true. It's a complete 180.
Yeah, the other cruise that we were on was constant bombardment, like the first 24, 48 hours for buying the drink package. I felt like I was prey in a river full of piranha. Yeah. It was horrible. It was the worst experience ever. I've never experienced that anywhere, ever. Phoebe was a little traumatized by that. I am. I still am. I still have PTSD from that. It was absolutely horrible. As far as entertainment goes, it's a bit random. Okay. Can we talk about October for a second? Oh my God. Yeah.
I've been waiting waiting for this we were invited to be guest speakers for two engagements on a six-star crystal cruise ship with 310 lifestyle couples and it sails from montreal to boston during the peak foliage season i'm super excited and honestly i'm really nervous yeah it's kind of a version of like a swinger ted talk that we're gonna have to do oh my god I know and more importantly if you know the brand it's LLV luxury lifestyle vacations you may have seen them and they're sexy playmakers with their fun red hats. This ship, the Crystal Symphony, is classy.
Butler service for every single room, Michelin rated restaurants, full spa, clothing optional, sensual playrooms, like everything, theme nights and international DJ. So it's luxury and nudity? Oh, man, this is going to be great. The bottom line is we want you there with us. It's 310 couples, and like all their vacations, they book up fast. They really do. Their vacations are extremely popular. So please come with us. And in order to find it, all you have to do is go to ourswingerlinks.com We'll see you next time.
are extremely popular so please come with us and in order to find it all you have to do is go to our swingerlinks.com and look for the llv sensual voyage we hope you'll join us yeah it's a little random um we we tried to attend a ballroom dance class but it was it was a volunteer put on class and the guy did his best to try and put on a good show um they didn't and instruct us but um we didn't wear the right shoes we didn't realize that there were equipment requirements and so it was a little little hard for us to to kind of get going with. Right.
And then we spent most of the rest of the evening kind of wandering around to find a music style that we wanted to listen to. And when I say random, I guess, I don't, it doesn't, it's, there was set music in certain places, but because of the layout and it's this boardwalk, promenade, open air venue, you've got about 10 to 15 storefronts or bars that are playing music and karaoke is going on. So all that sound is projecting out.
Then you've got a band in the upper balcony that's blasting music down so it's like going to the the concerts you know yeah it's kind of like a music festival exactly so it it was really loud it was overwhelming it was hard to determine what music was coming where in order to find the right music that you wanted to go and listen to or dance to. Yeah, it was a little Cuban, EDM, and pop all at the same time. I did not hear EDM, and I did not hear pop. I don't know what I heard. It was just old music is what I heard. Lots of it, all at the same time. Cuban, I love.
And I do like some old music, but this was not the style of old music that i like i'm sorry but anyway it was yeah so hopefully tonight we'll have a little more luck with that then we well most of the evening we're gonna that that's the boat is there anything else you want to talk about the boat other than i mean we oh the gym one more thing about oh yeah the gym the gym oh my goodness so i went to the gym this morning at 10 a.m because we were up till 2 a.m hanging out with some i have no idea what we were doing which we're gonna get into that was super fun yeah i go to the gym at 10 a.m and i hadn't had any breakfast yet because i wanted to work out and have my breakfast right so i get in there oh my god it is packed wall to wall every square piece Thank you.
am and i hadn't had any breakfast yet because i wanted to work out and then have my breakfast right so i get in there oh my god it is packed wall to wall every square piece of floor space is being used by people stretching or working out all the bikes are taken all the trip everything taken and so and they only had one spin class that they offered at 9 30 which i missed so i was super bummed about that so i said to the guy i walked to the staff and i go uh what's a good time to come to the gym and he goes well honestly i don't know because i've never ever seen it like this and his face said it all i go you're kidding right he goes no last week there was like two people in here the entire cruise so he was shocked and so i think i'm gonna have to go there in the afternoon so all you swingers stop trying to be so fit but if you're fucking till 2 a.m you can't work out at 5 a.m unless you just fuck until 4 a.m and then just take a shower get go to the gym and then sleep do your cardio and then hit the weights yeah yeah that might be the strategy Thank you.
4 a.m. and then take a shower, go to the gym, and then sleep. Do your cardio and then hit the weights. Yeah. Yeah. That might be the strategy. We may just have to do that. And a little bonus for this boat, it has a running track that kind of goes around the whole perimeter of the ship. And it's down on a lower level with the lifeboat, which is kind of cool.
We'd watched a YouTube video that showed that, and we were like oh that's kind of neat so you get like some open air sea views um lots of views of the the lifeboat which of course is very reassuring yeah to see the escape pods but oh one nice bonus was at the stern uh stern of the ship the back of the ship for those non non-sailors um they have an aqua theater and the aqua theater has a stage that they can put up over the the pool and they were doing naked yoga with a view of the ocean which of course looks right out over the running track. So it wasn't even the first lap.
It was the second lap. I looked over away from the ocean to my left, and there were a whole bunch of naked people doing yoga, which was fantastic. Boobies. So my pace slowed a little bit through sections of the track i i don't have an explanation for why i slowed down in certain parts but there was naked yoga going on at the same time i don't know maybe i should try it i always said i wouldn't but maybe i will maybe i'll go outside my comfort zone could be stick my ass in somebody's face. Let me know when you go so I can go running. Okay. All right, all right.
So last night, so we're wandering around trying to find good music. We're with our friends, and our friends are from a different part of the United States. We fondly call them our groupies, but they've become very, very good friends of ours, and we love them dearly. They're like the best people ever. And so it was so fun to meet them in person. We've been FaceTiming them for several weeks prior to the cruise and getting super excited to meet them. And this is really unusual for us because we don't do these types of long-term courtship, long-distance thing.
Yeah, because typically they don't pan out. Thank you. And so – but it did. It stemmed from an email to that, to the texting, to FaceTime, and now here we are meeting in person. So it does happen, and eight years later, I'll tell you, I mean, that's how long it took for that type of relationship to occur. Right, and I mean, in the long run, it'll be interesting to see how that relationship changes because, you know, obviously they live on the other side of the country. Right. But, yeah. I think we'll be friends for forever. At least I would love to be.
But that's not to say that this doesn't happen for someone in year one of swinging. And maybe it does.
It's just taken us eight years now and i can see how if you go to desire or some of the other swinger resorts that you can develop long-term friendships there quicker because it's a smaller venue you know it's three four hundred people and you have a week to really connect and develop that friendship and then if you stay in touch you just come back yearly or twice a year as most people do so they're your like vacation family exactly and i can see how that would really work and that would kind of happen very quickly so if you want you know i say try it i mean we're not the resort kind of people but i know maybe someday we'll we'll give it a shot maybe we'll see i still haven't been sold on it yet but it does have some advantages so so our friends we wandered we wandered in search of the perfect music and i was getting tired and losing my my steam it'd been a long day and um our friends were were feeding me vodka to try to perk me up then i had some coffee and so the combo seemed to seem to help and then we just decided wandering around as stupid so ed's like you know what i just have to stop right here i just have to stop and i have to ask and what did you ask your plays are ours because at some point everybody starts to turn into pumpkins.
Yes. And then nothing happens. Yes. Yeah. So we had that conversation again. Like, where are you at? What are you up for? What do you want to do? What are you comfortable with? Exactly. And so we laid it all out on the table, and then we decided to go back to their place. And a good time was had by all. Yeah. It was very fun. And now why, and what was great about their place? Oh, well, they got the upgraded room. They have the balcony. We have. Poo-pooed that. Cheaped out. Yeah. Yeah. Cheaped out. Because we're never in our room. And we're like.
pay for for atmosphere if you're only sleeping right you know my eyes are closed yeah what do i uh need to see things for right so and i'm not really an ocean water person so i just said but i am convinced now yes and why are you convinced because sex on the balcony is fucking hot sex on the balcony is very hot and we have proven uh the balconies by the way are waterproof so if you're a squirter balconies are perfect um you don't mess up your sheets and the ocean water just you know and the ocean breeze will just take it away just clean it away yes yes and and you know sex on a balcony with a strap on is yeah it's pretty it was pretty hot it's pretty great it was pretty hot it's pretty great and we did hear some neighbors so if you're listening to this and you were a couple floors above above us and i'm still disoriented with this up down So let's get started.
great and we did hear some neighbors so if you're listening to this and you were a couple floors above above us and i'm still disoriented with this up down number thing so i'm gonna totally screw it up so it'd be a higher number if we're going up higher in the deck so probably 15 16 13th floor maybe yeah maybe 13 yeah there were a couple floors above us so So hands on the railing face hanging over port side we saw you we know what you were doing because we were out there doing it too it was it was so hot so yeah there was some fun firsts that evening and um it was a really good time some fun firsts strap on Strap-on wasn't necessarily a first, but there were some certain firsts with that apparatus, which made it a lot of fun.
Yeah, and I think that's what we loved about the first cruise and what we love about the cruise in general, and that is it's an opportunity to kind of get outside your bubble, do things you wouldn't normally do. And the opportunity for firsts is huge. There's just so many things that you can experience on the cruise when there's so many different people. You know, there's a kink room. Exactly.
They provide those opportunities for you to go and view or participate and there's there's seminars so there's all kinds of educational opportunities on the boat to learn something so even if you're brand new like new new like you've only well you haven't caught up to our our current this current episode yet so you wouldn't hear this you just started our podcast like even the newest people um there are classes for those people there are even classes for non-swingers on the swinger cruise yeah um so yeah that's pretty nice it's pretty cool there's there's all kinds of fun stuff to to learn and experience on and tonight is sls's 30th 20th 20th yeah anniversary as a as a company as a corporation so they are celebrating and tonight is going to be the mardi gras the theme yes marty trois as they say that's right marty trois three it's a threesome thing exactly um so yeah everybody's gonna be dressed in beads and embellishment and we've already heard at least two people have 10 pounds of beads so there's gonna be beads everywhere on the boat um i can't imagine how much they paid for their luggage with all the beads i know and and the dildos we know we have another friend who had an entire suitcase of just oh a friend yeah i brought 20 pounds of it may have just been one really big dildo it could have been but there are those that weigh nine pounds someone had one that weigh nine pounds oh my god we'll hope it was multiple dildos because so fun that's too big so we'll go to that and we'll maybe check out the playroom tonight.
We'll see. Last night was early on in the evening. There was no one there. It was kind of cold. But I heard later in the evening it picked up and it was get there quick because all the beds were full. Hopping. so and which you know goes to what our experience was on the last cruise with the solarium. Just a great place to play and so many opportunities to meet and have sex with random people. Yeah, exactly. Which is always fun. All right, everyone. We're signing off and we will give you another update tomorrow. All right.
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