Want to send us a message? In this episode we talk about communication tools for connecting with other swingers. We are going to describe how in-site email works, chat rooms, Kik, MeWe and a handful of swinger dating apps. These technologies, some of them geared specifically to swingers, offer a great way to get in-touch and stay connected with other people in the swing lifestyle. However, they do have their share of hiccups, and we share some stories about our adventures with virtual people.SHOW NOTESSwinger Site Email: Pros v. ConsSwinger Site Chat Rooms: Pros v. ConsSwinger Chat Apps: Kik, MeWe, etc.Swinger Dating Apps: Bumble, 3-Fun, etc.Text MessagingGoogle Images PicFind Support the showWant More?👀 Watch on YouTube: YouTube ShowFull video versions and interactive live episodes!Bonus episodes, exclusive content, and 🌶️Extras: https://www.patreon.com/SwingerUniversity 🛳️🎉Looking for lifestyle events in your area? T4P is the go-to directory for clubs, parties, and resort events. Browse now at Ticket4Play.com Custom SU T-shirts and gear: Our Amazon StoreSwingerLinks.com - live schedule, special offers*, and our 🌶️links!Our Website - Leave us a message, articles, and sexy products3 Ways to get your question on our show:RECORD it on our website at: https://swingeruniversity.com/contact/EMAIL a recorded voice note to: [email protected]: (916) 538-0482 and leave a voicemail.* We get a commission if you decide to purchase through our links, at no cost to you.
Transcript
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And use our code at checkout. And you guys, if you have any questions about the event, the resort, or what to expect, just reach out. I mean, we're here for you. We're happy to help. So once again, ticketforplay.com forward slash Swinky, the code SwingerU-VIP. We really want to Swinger University. Today we're going to talk about communication tools for connecting with other swingers. We're going to describe how in-site email works, chat rooms, Kik, MeWe, and a handful of other swinger dating apps.
These technologies, some of them geared specifically to swingers, offer a great way to get in touch and stay connected with other people in the swing lifestyle. However, they do have their share of hiccups, and we will share some stories about our adventures with virtual people. Yeah, so technology. This episode is going to be a little bit of a kind of a tech brain dump. Yes. And because I'm the nerdy one and deal with most of the technology.
Ed's going to be a little bit of a kind of a tech brain dump yes and because i'm the nerdy one and deal with most of the technology ed's gonna talk a lot you're gonna hear a lot from me and i'm gonna try and ask ed a bunch of questions ed is the one by the way that does most of all the tech stuff, all the communication, et cetera, et cetera. I don't have the patience for it, honestly. I like it. I enjoy it. But I'd rather have him do it. So, you know, when you're good at something, just give it to the person that has more patience and is better at it. So that's what we do. Right.
And like I've said in a previous episode, I deal with computers all day, which is why I hate them with a passion. But I work with them all the time, and so I'm pretty comfortable with them. Right. So the first thing we're going to talk about is in-site email. So all of these swinger sites that you go to, Cassidy, SLS, et cetera, they've all got some kind of a in-app messaging system. They're terrible. Probably the biggest problem with them is that they're not integrated in with your normal email.
So like, you know, you get an email from your answer it you can deal with it right there but these systems they'll send you a notification but like if you really want to read the message you've got to log in to a website go play with it so you'll get all kinds of notifications you've got a friend request you've've got email. Someone liked you. And the problem with it is. It's meaningless. It drives me bonkers. Right. Because there's no information in it. Right. It doesn't tell you who it is. There's no pictures. Nothing.
I have to go to the site, log in, navigate my way through the website to try and find this email. And if you've ever been on any of these swinger dating sites, you know how frustrating it is and how archaic it is. It's challenging to say the least. Yeah. Now, one of the other frustrations that we've run into is free accounts. Now, free accounts are great. Don't get me wrong. You're just getting started. You don't want to shell out $130 for a lifetime membership. Or $50, which we had a hard time with in the beginning. So, I mean, it's a commitment.
It's not necessarily a big commitment, but it's still a commitment. You don't even know if this thing's going to work out. Does this site do what you need it to do? So free accounts. People can't see the responses until they pay sometimes, or they have a limited number of replies. Well, you're a hot couple. couple you sign up all of a sudden you send out like five six messages to people and all of a sudden all of them reply back well you can reply to a few of them but not all of them want you're one of the couples that replied to them and you never hear a response?
Because they ran out of tokens. They've got to put another quarter in before they can get the machine to restart. So free accounts kind of make it a little cumbersome, and there's a lot of people who are just dabbling. So you'll see it in their profile. They've got one sentence, just trying this, or brand new, not sure how we feel. Insert a bunch of different descriptions, but the concept's the same. How often are these emails checked by people in sight? Not very often.
And the big problem is you've got to log in in order to see it so i see email threads all the time oh and sometimes the sites don't notify you that there's a new message oh so a lot of times i don't even know that we've got a new message until I log in. So unless I'm logging into SLS every night, which I don't do, I don't see a lot of these messages coming through. And, of course, we get those wonderful messages that are, hey, hi, hey there, hi there, ho there. That's like three words.
What do i do with that i i don't know how to reply to half of those it's not much hi how you doing i actually i know improv a little bit you're very good with responses but it is pretty funny so word to the wise if you're going to send someone a message, make it longer than two words. At least a sentence. A well-crafted sentence.
Some of the best advice I ever read on dating sites was read someone's profile and message them with something from their profile that gives them an insight that you're actually conscientious you actually read their profile you actually care and are respectful it's more than a half-assed boink like you're trying trying to poke someone across the Internet. And here I'm going to get on my little soapbox.
It's like if you are – if you're serious about responding, at least pretend to be serious because when you're not serious and you give these three word hey hi there what it's nice but i mean this is the equivalent of a gosh trying to equivalent to candy it's it's exactly like walking past someone at work and they say hey how you doing and you go i'm doing great thanks and you keep walking yeah or the nod to the person on the sidewalk as you're walking by and you go like cute dog yes it's exactly like that and you just keep walking why because you got nothing else to say So why bother saying that on a swinger site?
Exactly. Because I get that in my vanilla live. So this is what I don't understand. And it frustrates me, which is why Ed takes care of the technology part, because I don't have the patience. Exactly. Merh. So it's hard to check the email. And then when you get in there and it's something that's half-assed, to say the least, it just makes it kind of a silly experience. It's ridiculous. There's another layer of stupid that's in here, and that is the way that the old system in SLS worked. Now, it's gotten a little bit better.
And I'm picking on SLS a little bit because it is the most archaic of all of the systems. Cassidy's a little bit better. But SLS had a system where if you'd read the email, it pulls it out of the inbox and moves it into a read section. And if you replied to it, it moves it into a replied section. So, it's helping you by managing your email for you. So if you accidentally read something and have to go remember what you'd read, you got to go look for it in a different box. If you replied, but you don't remember that you replied, it's dumb. Nobody's email works that way.
If you're having an ongoing dialogue with somebody, you read, you replied, they sent something back to you you want it in your darn inbox so that you can see that there's this thread going on obviously they didn't have someone design this they just invented it trying to reinvent the wheel somehow anyway it's old now it's not all cons there's some pros so i'll go into some of those Let's go. Let, anyway. It's old. Now, it's not all cons. There's some pros. So I'll go into some of those. People open their locked and sexy photos and they share them with you.
Now, what's kind of nice is that you'll get a message from someone and they'll say, hey, we unlocked our pictures. Come check us out.
mm-hmm that's pretty cool especially because most people lock their face pictures away in some secret vault if you want to see what they actually look like they have to kind of unlock the photos for you so that's one pro yes now the other way the other pro is this is a gateway it allows you to send somebody a message and then get out of that jail yeah give them your kick email sorry give them your kick profile or your email or a text message or something some other means of communication message. And you can kind of jump out of the rut that is the insight messaging and you can kind of escape.
That works. There's pros and cons with that too. Right. Which we're going to talk about. Yeah. And the biggest pro, and this is why you don't necessarily want to immediately give someone your real life contact information, that's because it's anonymous. It's protected. No one can get into it except for people who are on the site. And there's, in a way, there's no real connection to who you are in real life. So an email account or Gmail may be connected to a whole bunch of different stuff. Could be connected to your Facebook profile, could be connected to your Gmail.
And now they've got a hook into who you really are. So a lot of people avoid messaging outside of these insight messaging systems and it's like i said it's fairly anonymous and it's protected it's just annoying now one last thing before we jump into the next topic and that's that sls recently switched over to a messaging-style system. So it's more like Kik or like SMS text messages. So you can see a dialogue back and forth and back and forth and back and forth all on one screen. It's like a chat board.
I don't have a strong opinion as to whether it's better or not i'm still getting high there but you showed it to me yesterday i have a very strong opinion i don't like it and why don't you like it because it took five pages to open it right that's that is a click on one thing a new tab. You click on another link. Oh, you're talking about the chat. We'll get to that. Oh, okay. I'm just talking about messaging. Oh, see, I'm already confused. See, so a lot of these sites have multiple ways of communicating. So I'll talk about in-site chat rooms. This is great.
This is the most archaic section of SLS. Now, a couple of the other sites have chat rooms too, but nobody uses them really. Even on Cassidy, I think I've only ever seen two couples in a chat room at once. I think people rely on real chat rooms like Reddit and other places in order to actually have a chat. And there are thousands of those.
Like if you really want to chat with somebody, you know, go to Chatterbait or Cam4 or hundreds of these anyway kick me way all that yeah right so sls has insight chat rooms they're all flash based which means that they're going to die probably in two weeks because flash is officially dead adobe's ended support for it and none of the browsers support it anymore so you have to like right click accept flash turn on plug in blah but it's new no this is an old one oh this is the chat rooms are different than messaging oh oh sorry see and still confused if you're confused you're not alone and i've been around for a while it's i was around when there were five inch floppy disks there's really too many different ways on the site to send messages back and forth.
They really only need one. Chat rooms are fun, right? You can put your camera on. You can do all that kind of stuff. The good news is that the new messaging system that they have has cameras. So theoretically, they're going to kind of combine the older technologies into this one new messaging thing. But here's the trick. So let's go straight into the chat rooms. Okay. You go. Go, Ed. Very few people are actually in the chat rooms. So just for giggles, last night I took Phoebe in just to show her what it looked like. And four pop-up windows later, we finally got a chat room up.
To your surprise, there were three women. Surprise. There were three women in there. There were one couple and two women. Right.
and my personal favorite which i just you know love an endless stream of cock it's a sausage fest pretty much that's all you're ever going to find in the chat rooms i've only seen one woman or like i said last night there were three yeah that is rare it's very unusual and i pop in there like every once in a while just to see what's going on who knows maybe i'm just there on the wrong night yeah maybe but even if it's a couple which i see very few of them it's usually only one partner of the couple and it's usually the guy and usually he has his cock in his hand and he's hoping to find a couple or a woman and i feel bad but they're not there dude move on so here's a pro so if you're looking for a lot of older penises i got the place for you oh my goodness personally not my thing but hey you know some people are into that yeah so chat rooms for novelty go check it out but hopefully that'll go away and the new messaging system will fix that thank you okay can we talk about october for a second oh my god yeah i've been waiting for this we were invited to be guest speakers for two engagements on a six star crystal cruise ship with 310 lifestyle couples.
And it sails from Montreal to Boston during the peak foliage season. I'm super excited. And honestly, I'm really nervous.
Yeah, it's kind of a version of like a swinger TED talk that we're gonna have to do oh my god i know and more importantly if you know the brand it's llv luxury lifestyle vacations you may have seen them and they're sexy playmakers with their fun red hats this ship the crystal symphony is classy butler service for every single room michelin rated restaurants full spa clothing optional sensual playrooms like everything theme nights and international dj so it's luxury and nudity oh man this is gonna be great. The bottom line is we want you there with us. It's 310 couples.
And like all their vacations, they book up fast. They really do. Their vacations are extremely popular. So please come with us. And in order to find it, all you have to do is go to our swingerlinks.com and look for the LLV Sensual Voyage. We hope you'll join us for taking care of all that. And I don't even have to bother myself with that. That's right, honey. I wade through cock just to just to find the one couple that we're going to take out on a drink date oh well okay let's transition over to kick it's a messaging system that another couple told us about and we love And we love it.
It's fun. It's interesting. It's, it has some of the same drawbacks that a lot of the other systems do. And that's that not everyone is all talking at the same time. Yeah. But. It's anonymous. It's totally anonymous. It's just a screen name.
There's no connection connection to the real world you can create new kick profiles anytime you want you can bury the old one start a new one it's all have a photo no photo whatever you want to do exactly use yeah totally anonymous name yeah so and you can send pictures and you can send videos and i think you can even delete the pictures after you send them it doesn't quite work like snapchat where there's a timeout on the pictures or that you can see when people download your pictures so keep that in mind if you don't want your tits on the Internet, don't send your tits out on the Internet.
But Kik doesn't have any kind of protections on it for that, not like Snapchat. Now, pros and cons, some people communicate more than others, but everybody can communicate at the same time.
We actually have several Kik rooms set up up with another couple and all four of us are in there and we send pictures back and forth we flirt a little bit we talk about what we're going to do when we're going to see them next and right it's fun it is fun but it's it's great because everyone's included and even though everyone can't chat simultaneously because, you know, you're at work, you've got kids that you're managing, you're at a sports event, something.
you know you're doing other activities so usually one person has more time to keep the conversation going but the other partner can check in, see the thread, and you're part of it. And that's what's important. You're part of it. Nothing's hidden. It's all there for you to read and participate as you wish. It's all out on the table. So everybody has awareness of what's going on and what's being talked about. It's great. We find it comforting to know that there's nothing funny going on. And nothing's lost in translation. It's just, like you said, all out on the table. Exactly.
Now, one of the things that you'll probably want to do is use Kik do video verification now it's anonymous and if you can get into a two-way communication of basically a live video chat with somebody else you can see if it's actually a couple or if it's just some 40 year old guy living in his mother's basement you can do that on kick yeah kick allows you to to do a live video chat which is we've never done that pretty cool no we haven't but we're not meeting anonymous people usually we usually have met them at an event yeah usually by the time we're exchanging kick information it it's, we've had some conversations.
We've established a little bit of a relationship, if you will. One problem we ran into it was, is there's a cap. You can only have so many people in a kick room. when we were going on the cruise we overloaded the room we couldn't get everyone who wanted to participate into the room and When we were going on the cruise, we overloaded the room. We couldn't get everyone who wanted to participate into the room. And we had to flow over into the next application that I'll talk about, which is MeWe. Now, MeWe is trying to be an alternative to Facebook.
I don't know that it's ever really going to be an alternative to Facebook. It's kind of a cross between Facebook and Kik. It's messaging, it's chat rooms, but you can kind of have an established profile with information on it. And when we went on the cruise, there was a MeWe group where I'd set up a profile for us, posted a few pictures, a brief description of which cruise we were going to be on, what room we were going to be in, et cetera, et cetera. It was pretty nice. People could engage with you in conversation, but they could also go check out your profile. Con is no one's using it.
And because it's being sold as an alternative to Facebook, I don't know how they're advertising it. Because the only way I found out about it was through this kick group that over flooded. And I don't think i ever would have discovered this app so can you create a a um a private group for swingers in me we in me we yeah the group was like the private groups that used to be in facebook absolutely and that that's what the cruise group was.
It't public it was a private group so you actually have a like a pro a profile just like in facebook exactly interesting yeah it's it's an exact restrictions on naked photos not in private groups there were all kinds of stuff Facebook has that now yes the Facebook police will find your naked titties and they will ban you for a period of time they'll put your pasties on this is why we can't have nice things and we don't play on facebook anymore because our group got really boring really quick yep so as i said you've got social profiles you can get large groups in there and there doesn't seem to be a cap so if you're going on a cruise or you're going to a desire event something like that look for a me we group check out sls contact a few people maybe start your own group that'd be fun, if you want to start a MeWe group with us, let us know.
All right. Apps. Ooh, there's an app for that. Ooh, gosh, there's so many. Oh, my goodness. There's a flood of apps. And we're not even on Android devices. Android is an even more crazy app market. And we tried most of them on the iPhone. We did. Anytime there was a search term that matched up with Swinger and an app, we'd download it. Yep. Why? Because we're horny. So we download all the apps. Mostly because we keep hoping to find something better. Yes. And so far we haven't. No.
So some of the examples of apps, and I think we've talked about some of these before, Bumble, ThreeFun, there's another one called Swinger Safari. Bumble's a vanilla-ish app. So you will meet your coworkers on it, especially the, your, maybe your boss who's recently divorced. Uh, so if you don't want to be exposed, um, no, I'm serious. You will find your boss. Yes. Yeah. You have to be very careful about that. Bumble's a bit of an exposure issue. Yes. Same thing with Tinder or any of these. Or OkCupid. OkCupid, yes. Pro and con, it's highly location-based.
So if you live in an area where there's a high saturation of individuals using it, bingo, you're all in it's perfect so if you live in the san francisco bay area you are golden now if you live out in the valley like us in the sacramento area yeah not so much you want to drive 100 miles you can go hang out with the San Francisco crowd, but we've got few and far between in terms of finding couples. Yeah.
I mean, when you think about it, you're trying to get a very small portion of the population that are swingers all on the same app or the same five apps out of 25 that are checking them on a regular basis. So it's, it's very, it's a pretty small market. Yeah. And because there's so many apps out there, it's watered down quite a bit. Yeah.
And I think everybody's trying here and there and a lot of them after you download them they go into a pay model so you've got to shell out more money to actually have it work swing or safari was like that it was free for the longest time and then they started trying to charge people i laughed because i'm not paying for something where there's nobody on it. That's just dumb. Now, if you had a large market, absolutely monetize that sucker because there's value add. You're getting a return on your investment. For us, hell no.
But if you're in the right area, there's a large quantity of profiles you can have a lot of success and anecdotally through all the reddit groups reddit swingers groups a lot of people have had good luck with three fun which is one of the apps that we dabble in every once in a while people like it it seems to work there was another one too uh it was a tinder knockoff and then they got sued or tin field that's what it was f-e-e-l-d strange name but i guess it's all the feels that app has a pretty good reputation on the reddit groups we haven't had such good luck because of course it's all san francisco based a lot of bay area people i think if you lived in a major metropolitan area you'd probably be pretty good now it's it's a little strange and no one thinks this is true but sacramento is actually a huge sw.
Yes. There's a lot of us horny people out here in the valley. Didn't know that. Discovered that recently and was like, oh, that explains a lot. I know. So we've had hit and miss luck, but we've never been on a date with anybody with any of these apps. We've had some conversations, but they usually kind of peter out after, you know, a couple back and forths. So there you go. What's another con? Oh, yeah, this is one of my favorite.
And this is true of most dating apps so when i was single recently divorced and looking for the next lady in my life i kept running across the same photo but different names or slight variations on the names same thing on three fun and field i'm like wait a second i know this couple dude's got like the hipster beard redheaded wife like you can't mistake this couple like it's obviously them you know they're it's a photo of them at burning man who knows and you swipe a few times and you go wait a second i just saw this oh the name was hot couple c-o-u-p-l-e this one is hot c-p-l and you swipe a few more times and it's hot with two t's couple and you're like oh so either this is the same people who keep forgetting their username and password and they just keep creating new accounts or it's just straight up bullshit i can't tell i don't know i'm convinced it's the app trying to make you feel better that there's more people on the app than there really are.
And I have no evidence to contradict that. It certainly seems that way. And I know that that was true on the dating apps when I was single. That was absolutely what was going on because I saw these chicks on there and I swear they were Russian escort pictures, and they were on there all the time. You'd never get a chat from them, but you could see them all the time. Anyway, no real people. That's a thing. Welcome to the internet. Yep. So So eventually you're going to have some conversations. You can go back and forth and it's going to seem like you've got a good connection with them.
Well, you can transition over into the real world and send them your phone number and start sending them text messages or a kick profile and you can actually try to set things up to meet them i mean if you just want to stay in virtual land that's great but if you actually want to have a drink or better yet bring them home or to a hotel room if that's your preference,'re gonna have to give them a real phone number because you're gonna have to show up at a real place in the real world to have real sex just it just works that way right so text messages are pretty much the standard communication these days.
And it's great. You send them your phone number. You can send a text message. Hey, we're on our way to the restaurant. We'll see you in 15 minutes. Are you still on for Friday night or whatever? There's a few cons with it. It is your real phone number. And if you happen to meet someone who's a stalker and you can tell stories about dating guys and wanting to burn your phone afterwards and have them never contact you again, show up at random parking lots following you. Here's why we sail on Virgin. It's adults only.
No kids screaming at breakfast, no family buffet lines, just champagne at noon, late night pool parties, and people who actually want to be there. The vibe? Think boutique hotel that happens to float. Tattoo parlors, drag brunch, restaurants you'd actually pay for on land. Plus, when you're looking to connect with other couples who know how to have fun, let's just say Virgin attracts a very specific type of adventurous. No wonder breadcruisers here, just your people.
Wow, that was pretty creepy thank god you were there yeah getting photographs of you from like another aisle being sent to you oh my god strange stuff that was pretty creepy yeah you are exposing your real self but the here's the thing video verify with people in the virtual world send them some information have a little bit of confidence that it's a real person and then you know what at some point you're gonna have to pull the trigger and have a little bit of trust that this is a real person and that they're not really fucked up more anonymous than the video verification which we've we've only done once and i and i was very nervous even about that and i probably won't ever do it again or if i do it it's going to be very situationally specific but a lot of people especially if you're meeting someone random on from a website or something you've never seen them before right we had friends that would frequently post an ad on craigslist when you could do that and they would do a phone verification with the women.
That way they could ensure that it wasn't just a guy pretending to be a woman or pretending to be a couple, and they could actually talk to the women. And the women could chat, have a brief conversation, and feel comfortable, and then everyone would get together. Absolutely. And that seemed to work really well for them. And they could vet out who is legit very quickly by doing so. Yeah. And you can still get fakers and posers even with that. So there's no guarantees in life.
Speaking of no guarantees in life, one trick, and here it is, I'm going to share with you a geek secret i'm going to pass on some of my my geeky wisdom oh yeah you guys are gonna love this this is great i love this feature it's really cool go download an app called pick find if you're on an ios device you can submit photos to Google Search. Now, this is why you want to do it. Having a great conversation with a couple, they're sending pictures, they're really hot. Send the picture through PickFind to Google Image Search.
You will find out very quickly that there are a thousand copies of that picture all over the internet turns out she starred in 300 adult films oh that's not the woman who is supposedly meeting me for the first time and wants to date my wife and i they're it could be very pick five fine if you want to believe that it's very flattering but the reality is it's reality is it's not true it's not really her and it's certainly not her boyfriend no so the good news is pick fine will allow you to verify pictures and find out if they're very common and it's a porn star or it's just a picture of some random person and you can do a little bit of sleuthing it's almost like a background check for photos it's really cool now if you're on a desktop computer it's even easier drag the picture over to google image finder and you can get the same result but if you're on your phone you don't really have an option to do that you can't drag things around it's getting a little better but pick find great app you can find those people who are catfishing they're basically sending you a bunch of pictures in hopes that you'll send a bunch of pictures and then they've got all your pictures yeah long and short of it is you never know if it's a real person until you met meet them in real life so that's that's our trick that's our secret actually go meet them in real life so we've talked a lot about technology and applications and different ways of communicating.
And we want to kind of get into an overarching statement about just online communication in general the big thing is these aren't necessarily real people. It's not real life. It's very anonymous. People pretend to be somebody all the time.
You hear stories about the 40-year- old guy who's pretending to be the 16 year old girl in order to lure her to the mall and then kidnap her well it's no different for the swinger lifestyle people pretend to be who they're not all the time it's a single guy and you want pictures of your wife's tits it happens so be aware that people aren't always who they say they are i mean an even more benign example is people who post pictures that are 10 years old you see their profile they look super hot and then you you kind of think that there's something off because the photos don't quite look right.
And then you mate them in real life and you go, wait a second, they're about 50 pounds in 50 years different than the pictures that we saw of them. 50 years different.
There was one guy, yeah, could have been 50 years, but it was clearly a picture from the 70s that had that kind of yellow patina to it like a pow pow yeah it had by the style of his clothes it was awesome it was paneling in the house in the background it was so funny you know if you if you're going to put a profile up, and I do recommend that you go back and listen to our episode on creating an online profile because, yeah, people do some crazy stuff with profiles. And it's amazing to us every time we see it that people are convinced that they can get away with it. Right? Like, really?
You really think you can get away with that? I mean, yeah, you're anonymous until the point where you step into the bar and you're actually meeting someone face to face. Oh, and I have a story about that. Yeah. Well, not now, but, well, okay, I'll tell it. It was before I met Ed. And it was the classic example you just gave. Someone posted a picture. It was probably 10, good, 10, 15 years younger. I'm waiting outside BJ's restaurant. We're going to meet for a drink date. I can't find the guy. I'm looking at the profile. I'm looking.
All of of a sudden this stranger walks up to me and says my name and i'm like yeah do i know you yeah i and and so there's this awkward conversation and he says his profile and his name and i go oh hi and so i now you're stuck and it's like i didn't want to be rude i thought okay i got dressed up i'm i'm out on a work night maybe i can clearly this this guy is not this is i know this is for me, but how can I salvage the night? Maybe I'll learn something from this individual. I always go into a situation, how can I make lemonade out of this? Right? Yeah. Oh, my Lord.
And honestly, if you show up to a bar and the person has lied to you about their profile, their photos, et cetera, they were the ones who were rude in the first place. So you should not feel bad, and I'm telling all the listeners, you should not feel bad about, wow, you look drastically different than your photos, and it kind of feels like you weren't very honest with us. We're going to go now. Oh. And just turn around and walk away. I was just going to ask you how you would say that if that ever happened. Just like that. That sounds perfect. Right. You say it so well, too.
You always have such a soft voice. Not a soft voice, but a compassionate voice when you say that. Passion. I know. You've got that deep voice thing going on. Rawr. So that's the thing.
When you are transitioning from virtual life to real life, you've got to realize that you're going to get caught if you're lying yep here's another story phoebe and i were on kick or one of these fun maybe it was fun thanksgiving weekend thanksgiving weekend we got nothing better to do we thought we would find somebody to have some fun we're tired of spending time with the vanilla family that's right you can only have so many turkey conversations before it's like so much maybe we could go fuck somebody yeah you know that would be much more fun right now yeah enough with the politics and the sports yeah let's do some indoor sports so we're contacted by a couple and they're all in they're they're excited they you know they're having a great conversation with us they send some photos they.
They're cute. Maybe not quite our style. I think they were into choking, which is a little bit outside of our, you know, our boundaries. But, you know, a lot of people are flexible. And so maybe we wouldn't necessarily have to go into, like, full throttle mode, so to speak. Was she chatting also? Well, no.
It was just one person okay which kind of leads us into the next part of this story interestingly enough at some point he says hey we've got a buddy who's hanging out with us today who'd like to join us and then they send another picture with this other guy we're like um well no we're not really interested in that big guy shaved head lots of tattoos just didn't look sexy or friendly got nothing against tattoos i'm covered with them but it's just something about him didn't quite fit our taste at least for that day yeah i don't know if it was the photo because i like a big tall bald man exactly there was just something but i think i wasn't interested in having three men in the room.
I'm more comfortable with you and one other, especially for the first time. Right. We didn't know these people. We were straight from the internet to, hey, we're going to come over to your house. Yeah. Make sure you hide the chainsaws before we show up. So the conversation kind of progresses. And then he says something that makes us pause and kind of cock our heads for a second and go, did he say what? Let me reread that. We reread through the thread. And it turns out that the guy who had contacted us was actually the third guy. Uh-huh. Because he switched they with I. Something he switched.
Yeah. The pronoun switched in the sentence. Yes. And all of a sudden we were talking to the third guy but it wasn't the third guy it was the first guy who just was oops he'd admitted accidentally that he was the third guy yes this couple was actually this tiny little woman and the big bald guy so here it is now it's one of those okay wait a second dude you you started off telling us that you were a couple and now you want to add a third turns out you're the third yes you're such the liar we have no interest because at this point i'm expecting there to be a chainsaw when we show up.
I'm expecting that, you know, we're never going to come home after this, or at least, you know, not in the same psychological state. It's just dishonest. It is dishonest. And if someone's being dishonest, you don't want to be in a vulnerable position with them sharing your wife or sharing your body. You want to know that you can trust people. They're honest. They're respectful. They can follow direction. If they can't do that, I'm not taking my clothes off in front of you. Sorry. I'm not even stepping inside your house.
So here you have it if if you can't be honest about the situation and who you are and that you're trustworthy i'm certainly not going to trust you with my wife or my safety right just all kinds of red flags so creepy there you go watch for red flags check the pictures do everything that you can to vet people and honestly the Thank you. Creepy. There you go. Watch for red flags. Check the pictures. Do everything that you can to vet people. And honestly, the first date, go to a bar. Yeah. Go to a restaurant with a bar. Go to an outdoor concert. Meet these people in a nice, loud environment.
Have a couple drinks. Have some laughs. And find out if they are who they say they are, if they're as hot as they portray themselves to be, and then take them home and fuck them. You keep saying that, Ed. Well, you know, we've never actually done that. Oh, actually we have.
so one of the big pros for online though is you can you can send photos you can send video and text and it can be kind of anonymous and you can kind of have some flirty fun and you can be you can be that persona online and not let it invade your personal life yep and that's kind of cool and i think there's a lot of people who have these virtual lives online where they get fun and flirty and sexy i mean heck browse through anything on reddit and everybody's like i think my tits are too small what do you think no your tits are perfect and everybody everybody knows that, but thank you for sharing.
The other big pro with online is it's safe. Because it's anonymous, you can communicate with people freely. You can find out a little bit more about them, and you don't risk exposing who you are in real life, That you're the CEO for some major corporation or you know you run a you're an elementary school teacher yeah we've met a few of those and the last pro is that there's less commitment because you have this anonymous safety net you're you have no obligation to these people online and there's a little bit of netiquette to the whole thing where you shouldn't be a douchebag.
But, you know, you don't have to follow through. You don't have to meet them in real life. And you can pull the ripcord anytime you want and just get out of the situation. You go, thanks, but no thanks. We're out. We're going to move on. In closing, we talked about Insight email, Insight chat rooms, Kik, MeWe, and a few swinger and non-swinger apps. Be cautious when moving to text-based communication, but there's no need to be paranoid. We have found 99% of true swingers are some of the nicest people on the planet.
Use the helpful tip on Google Images and Pickvine and never send a photo or video to someone you don't have a high feeling of trust and confidence that they will respect your privacy. Before you turn off our podcast to take care of all the vanilla things pulling you away, please reach out and give us a review. I know mashing a star is so much easier, but a review is so much better for sharing your love of what we're doing with others. We would appreciate it.
If you want to share a personal story, ask us questions, or share your comments, please contact us at swingeruniversity at gmail.com or on Twitter at Swinger U Podcast. podcast. Oh, one last thing before you go. If this episode helped you in any way, the single best thing you can do to support the show is leaving a rating and review. It takes 60 seconds and helps new people find us when they're searching for relationship education. And we've made it easy. Visit swingeruniversity.com forward slash review. All the instructions are there. Thank you for being part of this community.
