Want to send us a message? Have you ever thought about separate room play? Your partner is in one room and you are in the other, each playing with your new partners. We openly discuss the possibility of this new adventure and whether this applies to all couples or just a few. SHOW NOTES: Have you ever experienced a sexual couple that play at different sexual speeds? We did! Our female friend is more DTF and her male counterpart is slow and sensual. The difference between the two has made us consider separate room play; a surprising revelation for us! Support the showWant More?👀 Watch on YouTube: YouTube ShowFull video versions and interactive live episodes!Bonus episodes, exclusive content, and 🌶️Extras: https://www.patreon.com/SwingerUniversity 🛳️🎉Looking for lifestyle events in your area? T4P is the go-to directory for clubs, parties, and resort events. Browse now at Ticket4Play.com Custom SU T-shirts and gear: Our Amazon StoreSwingerLinks.com - live schedule, special offers*, and our 🌶️links!Our Website - Leave us a message, articles, and sexy products3 Ways to get your question on our show:RECORD it on our website at: https://swingeruniversity.com/contact/EMAIL a recorded voice note to: [email protected]: (916) 538-0482 and leave a voicemail.* We get a commission if you decide to purchase through our links, at no cost to you.
Transcript
We have to talk about something we've been genuinely excited about for months, and our patrons actually got a preview of this already. Jamaica! Yes, we are going back, and actually, we have a great offer for you guys. Yeah, it's Swingcation. It's October 11th through the 18th at Hedonism 2. And if you don't know what Swingcation is, it's pretty easy. Swinger plus kink plus vacation. It's a hosted group with real structure, workshops, lectures, real conversations with experts who are passionate about bringing and bridging that gap between the swinger world and the kink world.
And we're not just going as attendees. We're going as featured presenters, which is exciting. We'll be leading sessions. So if you come, we actually get to hang out with you. Which brings up something we should mention. When you use our code, yes, we got a code, you're not just getting a discount. You're getting the signature swing experience, which means $100 off per person, up to $200 per room, but it also means that we make time for you. An exclusive breakfast, lunch, cocktail hour, or one-hour and one time with us directly, plus more surprise benefits.
Here's something that's really unique. You could actually contribute by hosting a discussion or running a Skillshare. I know it's scary, but if you have something that you want to contribute, that's a big part of why this event is so special. Everyone there has something to bring to the table. All right, details. If you book before April 25th, you save $400. Plus, they gave us that special code that gets you an additional $200, and the special code is SWINGERU-VIP. So book through TicketForPlay.com forward slash Swinky. That's T-I-C-K-E-T, the number four, play.com forward slash S-W-I-N-K-Y.
And use our code at checkout. And you guys, if you have any questions about the event, the resort, or what to expect, just reach out. I mean, we're here for you. We're happy to help. So once again, TicketForPlay.com forward slash Swinky, the code SwingerU-VIP. We really want to see you there. Hi, this is Ed. And this is Phoebe. Have you ever considered separate room play? We've been thinking about it more lately and have a couple in mind we might try it with. We're going to have a candid discussion about what that would look like and why we are considering it.
Welcome to Swinger University with Ed and Phoebe. But first, we want to thank seven of our patrons this month. So we're going to give you a shout out. Mahmood, Michael, Robert, Fred, Patrick, the Texas couple, and Burberry. Thank you so much for your patronage. We really appreciate it. So this is a little different format for us. We're going to kind of just dig in. I know. It's a candid discussion. We went on a playdate. We've had a couple playdates, actually, with this particular couple.
And we're very comfortable with them and they play at different speeds describe these different speeds well she's kind of a get straight to business lady yes she is and the gentleman is a little bit more of a warm and smooth kind of get into it slowly. Yes, which I really love. And he misses that type of interaction with her. He gets it, obviously. There are a couple.
He does get that time with her, but he doesn't really get to dive into it because she's she gives a little and he gives a little so she's more DTF and he likes to take his time so when he and I are together we have spent oh my goodness I don't know 20 minutes half an hour just foreplay yes smooching and caressing and just doing all the tantric maneuvers you know just yeah lots of warm-up you you really to, to warm up slowly with exercise, with activities, with everything. Like there's kind of this slow buildup for getting in the mood for whatever it is. Right.
So he plays to that for me and you are happy to accommodate her. Right when we're in the same room it's it's a little not distracting but not in a bad way it's just it's kind of like watching two movies at the same time there's an action movie playing yes and there's a romantic kind of period documentary going on at the same time. That's so funny. It is exactly like that. So that's why I say it's a little distracting because I kind of just want to focus on the documentary and the romance. You know, I'm not sitting down for an action movie, right? Right.
So that different speed plays kind of making me think, you know, maybe, maybe that I can just be okay with removing that distraction and really focus on that experience with him. Right. And because they are the couple that they are, and we are so comfortable with them, I think I could be completely okay being in a separate room without you there, having my own experience and then coming together after.
Now, what's interesting is when we first started swinging, we'd considered separate room play for a completely different reason although it was similar we'd we were distracted by each other and what was going on mostly because it was uncomfortable for you to watch me having sex with someone else and you've gotten more comfortable with that so you like watching that now right but early on we had considered separate room but there was a downside to it too right and but before you go to the downside the other benefit of of thinking that way was that being new in the lifestyle, there's so much visual and auditory, so many senses are being bombarded at the same time, right?
There's a lot of stimulus happening and it was difficult to just focus on what was going on. Right. And so, gosh, separate room might help alleviate some of that overstimulation. And I have a problem with being overstimulated in public places. I'm very visual, so I tend to take in a lot of information very quickly. And so I get overwhelmed quickly. So I thought, oh, separate room play might be great.
One of the other things that we experienced pretty early on with that kind of overstimulation or distraction that was going on in the room, we noticed other play partners would have some ED issues because they were so distracted by everything that's going on it's kind of overwhelming yes so that's another potential reason for separate room play like if you're distracted to the point where you can't focus to become aroused yeah maybe that distance or that space would help right and i, and I haven't really straight up asked anybody their reason why, because sometimes in a, in a group party or at a house party, you know, you don't want to like really interview people, right?
We're in the mood where we're, we're socializing and stuff, but a lot of people do like to be behind closed doors. They don't like to be out in the open. And I think a lot of that just really does have to do with distraction. Another positive or another reason why you might consider separate room play is it's actually exciting for you to have the mental images without the visuals to go along with it. Some couples really like to tell the story about how it went down and how much fun and all of the juicy, sexy details afterwards when they reconnect.
That hot wife scenario, if you're watching it, it's not quite the same as if you're hearing about your hot wife tell you about it after the fact.
So there is that kind of sensual, almost picturing it yourself in your own head as to how it played out that fantasy that you can relive later yes yes and we decided early on that we we would probably suck at trying to describe all the details right and because I am so visual I needed to see everything I needed to be there but it was a double-edged sword right right because then it was overwhelming I think we just need to get better at practice with telling dirty stories to each other maybe that's it all the juicy drippy details about it I don't know.
get better at practice with telling dirty stories to each other so that we can get all the juicy drippy details about it we can practice yeah we could practice and you know maybe this is the opportunity to do that right right found the right couple they play at different speeds i can have my alone time you can have your alone time we can come back together in the kitchen for snacks. I'm kind of liking this idea. Yeah. They're very safe. They're very, you know, like I said, comfortable. And I think that's the key. I wouldn't do this with every couple. No, definitely not.
It's very couple specific. Yeah. Especially for us. But I think for a lot of people, that separate room dynamic has some downsides. And actually, this is a good segue.
Some of the downsides are if you're still struggling with your partner having sex with someone else, not being there to see exactly what's going on, to be reassured that nothing wrong is going on, whatever definition of wrong is yeah as long as you know that everybody's playing by the rules that you've agreed to and you've got any kind of jealousy issue separate room play is probably not a good thing for you right because once again that fantasy what you turn that scenario into in your own head will, will go crazy.
It will go way out from probably what really happened, which may have been a completely boring, maybe not even exciting sex because she didn't orgasm because he wasn't paying attention to her, et cetera. We've all had bad play experiences. So there is that aspect of it the other thing i really found surprising with this interaction with this couple was i actually had an orgasm yeah and i will i say it like that because it was a good one and it was i, because of the warmup.
Yes, there have been some very nice, you know, interactions with play, but typically it's not your mind-blowing type of orgasm because there's no time, there's distractions. And you, because of the setting that we're typically in we're in a club it's an orgy there's multiple people again hurry up hurry up someone wants to use the bed you know or again someone is just someone's partner is distracted by somebody else and they need to go you know pay attention to them take take care of them you know be with them.
So then your to go, you know, pay attention to them, take care of them, you know, be with them. So then your pleasure is, you know, stunted, right? So it's a little like ADD sex. So because we didn't have all that and I got that great warm up, it was very nice. Yeah. Another downside that is worth mentioning is if you're not present to see what's going on you might actually miss out on some key experiences yeah we've had some experiences where it wasn't exactly separate room but it was we were in a hotel room it was just a very big room. There were multiple levels to the room.
And I happened to be on a different bed with a lady and you were downstairs with some gentlemen. And I missed that whole interaction with you and two guys. Right. And I, I've seen it repeated. So it's okay. But that first opportunity, right. Because I wasn't there, I missed it. And you'll never get it back. And you can't get it back. Right. There's all, there's only once for the first time. Yeah, exactly. So that's something to consider. If you're new, you're going to miss out on some of these things firsthand. Right. Right.
So what's our, I guess our next step is to just approach them and see what happens. I'm sure they would say yes. I think so. Although I don't remember if we've had that conversation with them about separate play. Although we do know that he has a history of being a single male with other couples. And I think she'd even played as a unicorn for a while. So this might actually be an opportunity. I'd be surprised if they said no. But I'm prepared for anything, honestly. If they don't, I'm not going to be offended.
I don't i'm not going to be offended as they say if you don't ask you don't know exactly so we know some primary partners go on separate play dates we aren't there yet and i'm not sure you know we we would be, but we are considering the separate room play with a particular couple. Thank you. Oh, one last thing before you go. If this episode helped you in any way, the single best thing you can do to support the show is leaving a rating and review. It takes 60 seconds and helps new people find us when they're searching for relationship education. And we've made it easy.
Visit swingeruniversity.com forward slash review. All the instructions are there. Thank you for being part of this community. We'll see you again soon.
