Want to send us a message? Welcome to our latest podcast episode where we delve into the intriguing world of Locktober, a unique and captivating chastity challenge! In this episode, we discuss this self-initiated kink with Mr. Red an author of erotic stories, and an active participant in Locktober. We discuss its fascinating impact on his relationship and his personal experiences. Join us as we explore the following topics: How Mr. Red got started in chastity and swingingStories from some of his experiences with the challengeThe mental and emotional aspects of chastityThe effect on intimacy and relationshipsExpert insights into the world of Locktober Whether you re a seasoned Locktober participant or merely curious about the concept, this episode promises to provide valuable insights and ignite engaging conversations. Our special guest, Mr. Red, shares his own experiences and valuable perspective on the Locktober challenge. If you re looking to gain a deeper understanding of this captivating journey or simply interested in hearing some intriguing tales, don t miss this episode of Swinger University! Like, subscribe, and hit that notification bell to stay updated with our latest content. Join us on this enlightening and exciting exploration of Locktober and discover what it truly means to embrace the challenge. Your key to unlocking this unique episode is just a click away! Support the showWant More?👀 Watch on YouTube: YouTube ShowFull video versions and interactive live episodes!Bonus episodes, exclusive content, and 🌶️Extras: https://www.patreon.com/SwingerUniversity 🛳️🎉Looking for lifestyle events in your area? T4P is the go-to directory for clubs, parties, and resort events. Browse now at Ticket4Play.com Custom SU T-shirts and gear: Our Amazon StoreSwingerLinks.com - live schedule, special offers*, and our 🌶️links!Our Website - Leave us a message, articles, and sexy products3 Ways to get your question on our show:RECORD it on our website at: https://swingeruniversity.com/contact/EMAIL a recorded voice note to: [email protected]: (916) 538-0482 and leave a voicemail.* We get a commission if you decide to purchase through our links, at no cost to you.
Transcript
We have to talk about something we've been genuinely excited about for months, and our patrons actually got a preview of this already. Jamaica! Yes, we are going back, and actually, we have a great offer for you guys. Yeah, it's Swingcation. It's October 11th through the 18th at Hedonism 2. And if you don't know what Swingcation is, it's pretty easy. Swinger plus kink plus vacation. It's a hosted group with real structure, workshops, lectures, real conversations with experts who are passionate about bringing and bridging that gap between the swinger world and the kink world.
And we're not just going as attendees. We're going as featured presenters, which is exciting. We'll be leading sessions. So if you come, we actually get to hang out with you. Which brings up something we should mention. When you use our code, yes, we got a code, you're not just getting a discount. You're getting the signature swing experience, which means $100 off per person, up to $200 per room, but it also means that we make time for you. An exclusive breakfast, lunch, cocktail hour, or one-hour and one time with us directly, plus more surprise benefits.
Here's something that's really unique. You could actually contribute by hosting a discussion or running a Skillshare. I know it's scary, but if you have something that you want to contribute, that's a big part of why this event is so special. Everyone there has something to bring to the table. All right, details. If you book before April 25th, you save $400. Plus, they gave us that special code that gets you an additional $200, and the special code is SWINGERU-VIP. So book through TicketForPlay.com forward slash Swinky. That's T-I-C-K-E-T, the number four, play.com forward slash S-W-I-N-K-Y.
And use our code at checkout. And you guys, if you have any questions about the event, the resort, or what to expect, just reach out. I mean, we're here for you. We're happy to help. So once again, TicketForPlay.com forward slash Swinky, the code SWINGERU-VIP. We really want to see you there. Have you ever wanted to lock your dick in a cage and not masturbate or have sex for an entire month? I am sure most of you would not agree to this self-initiated challenge. However, are you aware of the benefits? Welcome to Swinger University. I'm Phoebe. And I'm Ed.
Join us as we explore the exciting world of ethical non-monogamy, sexual health, and sex education with an intellectual and sexy twist. Be sure to join our Patreon community for the behind the scenes stories and extra sexy content. We'd also like to throw out a shout out for Godfrey. Thank you so much for the unedited live YouTube show. We just recorded that last night. Its authenticity is what makes your podcast so captivating. You two are rock stars. Thank you again, Godfrey, for watching and giving us that feedback all right what. What is Locktober? It is typically a male-initiated kink.
It is a one-month of volunteered abstinence, and it is a male chastity device. Now, when I say typically male-initiated, what other forms would it not be male-initiated? It could also be imposed by a dom in a dom-sub relationship. Well, it's October and this is what we're doing this year. Time to put it away. And you may not know if it's going to be for two weeks, a day, or 30 days. Right.
The purpose of Locktober is to reset that sexual appetite to maybe gain better understanding of your body and what you want from sex it can also be very rewarding we are going to interview one of our favorite guests and he has actually participated in Locktober for the full 30 days and in fact I think it's even been longer than 30 days and so we are going to introduce him now he's going to go by Mr. Red he is the author of many erotic stories at Red Hot Red Erotica. If you haven't been to him's website, you absolutely should go and read some of these fabulous sexy stories.
In fact, we read some of those for our patrons. So if you want to hear them, please go and check those out. He has been in a long-term marriage with Ms. Red. My first question to Mr. Red is going to be, how many years have you been doing this? Oh, well, first of all, I'd like to say big thanks to you guys for having me. Appreciate it. This is a kink that started quite some time ago. We've been married a long time. And it really wasn't until the days of Tumblr that I think many of us became aware of many things that we probably had ideas in our head, things that we thought, oh, it's just me.
And it's not that I was necessarily into the concept of chastity. I didn't know what that was prior to kind of discovering it on Tumblr. Not only am I a switch, but I'm highly kinky.
So for me, there's this kind of kind of exploration of huh i'd like to know more about that i'd like to try that for me a lot of it also gets into the mental aspects there's physical challenge with a lot of kinks and then there's also obviously the mental challenge i first came across a couple of blogs online that were femdom cuckoldresses this woman is so over the top probably wouldn't really want to know this person in real life because she is scary but the stuff that she was doing to her husband there was just no denying that it turned to be on endlessly she's out being like kind of the quote-unquote hot wife and having sex with other guys.
She'd lock her husband up and go out on trysts and maybe not even tell him. You know, we talk about ethical non-monogamy where you should be fully communicating with your partner. But you also, in kink, you also get into these concepts of sensual non-consent. And so for me, that was a big part of it. The kinky side wants some more kind of novelty and more extreme sensation seeking kind of elements. So when I came across this, I kind of brought it up to red. She's not the kinky one in the relationship. I am. I am more of the driver in this stuff.
We had, uh, I ordered a chastity cage, one of those kind of clear plastic ones. And I quickly found that like, Oh, those aren't that great. The lady on this on this blog used this this company they're actually custom made chassis devices by a company called mature metal i had this chassis cage and you know there's like sizing rings and so it's pretty it's pretty specific to your your own anatomy i had this ordered we kind of played with that and it was just fun and she wouldn't tell me she might be going away on a business trip and she'd say, I'm going to lock you up.
That perspective I just loved like that, you know, the not knowing. Right. Subs are going to love that dynamic of being told what to do and being surprised with stuff. For me, that's kind of a big, big part of it. So we just started with, I would call it light chesty, being locked up for a couple of days. And it really wasn't until I became more aware of this Locktober where it was like, okay, now that's a pretty serious job. I'm really sexual. I mean, most guys are, but I can get off three or four times a day, like every day.
So the thought of being locked up, your reaction to it would be like, no, no effing way. There was no way could do that and right and i think that was also part of the appeal for me is this i'm a person that like i like challenge like huh that that seems really hard i'd like to try that so it just kind of started like that we got into it and there was there was certainly challenges uh through it a week into it you really start to notice behavioral changes, meaning Red and I have a great relationship. We're attentive to each other, but you definitely notice, oh, she's in control.
And so suddenly you would find yourself doing more things for her. It's really hard to explain. You have to experience it. And I don't know if it is a chemical process that happens in the brain or if it's just, well, this person's in control, so I better be on my best behavior. I can't really describe what that is, but there is 100% a mental aspect of it that kind of starts to take hold. After a few days, you might be like, oh, you know, I really want to get off. But then after a week or so, I don't know how to explain it other than you get into it. You're like, oh, I can do this.
Like anything else that you challenge yourself, whether it's fitness or any kind of other challenges in life, there's personalities that just gravitate towards that. So for me, it's a kind of an easy thing to jump into. Interesting. So how did this initial conversation go with your wife?
The way that I brought it up, we're new to the quote new to the quote unquote lifestyle right a lot of this stuff that we do now was instigated by me um so to speak i more have the wiring for it this started about oh good 10 years ago so prior to the chastity where i started to kind of express myself more sexually about certain desires a lot of stuff that i i did that you know most wives in a vanilla relationship be like you want to do what right and so it was really those conversations and kind of almost i'm going to call it coming out if we're not homosexual we can't really necessarily relate to what it's like to quote come out but in my mind these sexual things are like coming out right i hope that's not offensive to anybody but there's things that you're you've bottled up that are part of you that you haven't shared with people that you then want to express with you know a loved one right someone you deeply trust and someone you deeply trust and it it was, at that time, it was challenging.
But I had a lot of these internal conversations and then finally said, okay, I'm going to have these conversations with her. So that kind of opened up the bag of kinks, so to speak. And it really wasn't until a few years later that I came across the chastity thing.
And so by then, because our level of communication had increased and we were talking about different things and trying different things it was kind of easy to have the conversation how does she like it and was it a progression for her initially was she just yeah let's try it but then each year as it goes by she was getting more and more into it how did her experience change but she was why would anybody want to do that you know of course the kind of the reaction right yeah i did have a book that i read male chastity of keyholders guide was the title of it a lot of things in there made sense to me and were intuitive like a lot of things if you're to express yourself a certain way, sometimes it's really easy to listen to something or read something that is the topic of what you're interested in and have your mate read that or listen to it with you.
That makes it a lot easier to talk about. I'm sure a lot of your fans would knowledge that with your podcast with like, hey, honey, let's listen to this Swinger University because you're talking about this thing that I find interesting. And then suddenly it's an easier conversation. The Tumblr blog, which I shared with Red, there's just a lot of stuff in there that gave us different ideas and so forth. And the book helped with kind of understanding. So she kind of was like, you know, had a little some ahas.
But again, if you're not a kinky person, it's going to be a progression know as you pointed out right right and i think over time as we just did different things and you kind of you know things become more quote unquote normalized then it became easy and then she kind of did lean into it and found it easier to kind of take a bit of a dom roll doing stuff that she wouldn't necessarily do what does she get out of it does did she find or discover that it felt really good stepping into an area of control that maybe she had never felt before or did it change her in some way um i think it not not as much changing her as developing a deeper understanding.
I think that um um um i think it not not as much changing her as developing a deeper understanding i think that um you know it's not like she reveled in different things but when when she would see certain reactions right that would make her more interested right right so let's just jump into some of the things that we might have experienced where and i don't know where this initiative initiative, something that I brought up or if it's just something that she did. And I don't know what the name for it is other than getting urinated on, you know, getting pissed off.
So pee play, like water sports. So one morning we get up and she tells me, go to the shower and sit down. And I'm like, huh? Okay. So go to the shower, sit down.
She comes in and she goes she goes do not turn the water on so i sit down and i'm in the shower water's not on she gets in with me and she proceeds to pee all over me wow and if if for those who are kind of into this stuff like they will connect with this right but that like there's certain things that can happen and if you have submissive tendencies as she starts to pee on me i start going into subspace and i don't know how to describe subspace other than i don't know if it's a loss of mental capacity but you're just like like a deep meditation yes you are going to a different place there are no words or thoughts you're not thinking about the grocery list or anything in your head you've just kind of zoned out zone out you can even not hyperventilating but almost like short of breath in the moment with something um like like you're so kind of excited by it you know short of breath kind of a thing that would happen and then so the variety of things like that that she would do when i was locked up one time she unlocked me and then she gave me a ruined orgasm and you know so the ruined orgasm and so most guys understand what a ruined orgasm is because we've we've all kind of experienced this where it can happen during sex for me it's only happened a few times during sex throughout my entire life i've experienced it masturbating i've experienced it having sex where you're building to climax.
And then right as you are about to tip over the edge, you actually ejaculate. But something, whether it's a change in pressure or a distraction or something, you don't get to climax.
So you come, but you don't climax climax and it's the only way it's like you've gone over the falls like you you got to the peak but then you backed off and you don't get the sensations actually the neat thing with that is you're still going to be horny so like most guys after you come you're like okay i'm ready for a nap i'm done and this is like okay i came but you don't have all that sensation and so it doesn't have the same chemical release interesting oh my god i'm still horny so she gives me so the ruined orgasm was she was having me lying on the bed she was stimulating me like with her hand got me to the edge and then it was like the perfectly ruined orgasm where as soon as you start to go over the edge there's no she just takes hands away there's this clop on your stomach your chest this your cum and there's no climax like she ruined it perfectly but she didn't end there oh no she then proceeded to take her hand and kind of like scoop up a cum and she just smeared it all over my face.
Oh, my God. I'm also dominant. Like I said, I'm a switch. So I enjoy doing that kind of stuff to her. Not that we do a lot of that kind of stuff. I love that position of power of like making her do something or doing something that's a little over the top or a little humiliating. And I enjoy having that done to me also. I think with Chastity, it's not, she can't just lock you up and say, okay, you're locked up for the month. And then you're going about your daily business work and go to the grocery store. And like, that's going to get boring.
You do have to have a partner who understands the dynamic and wants to kind of ratchet up the level of intensity of what you're experiencing for the period of time so let's talk about some of that stuff because it sounds like we're we're moving into how it challenges you for that month the mental and that and that some of that physical yeah so what are some of those those mental barriers or those those things that kind of force you to consider your position and what's going on well it's really funny but uh i can't remember if this is a couple of years ago now, I was pretty randy one morning.
That very selfless act of like, okay, I'm not going to come, but we're having sex and I'm going to go down on her, give her orgasm. That's really fulfilling. And then just ending it with kind of spawning with her or whatever and falling asleep or whatever time of the day it is. I find that to be just extremely satisfying. So you can be giving and you're caged so your dick is not a part of the conversation. Right. Right. So it just becomes this power shift where your pleasure comes from pleasing the other partner. That can also extend to just daily things.
Like, you guys have been married for a long time. So you probably encounter situations where you're kind of stressed. You divide up your duties. Like, okay, I'm going to do the X, Y, and Z. You're going to do A, B, and C. Kind of divide and conquer. And we've all been there where something that you're responsible for is taking an inordinate amount of your time or whatever.
And so start to feel a little maybe not resentful but just like god i'm putting in a lot here when you're in chastity it's kind of weird that some of those elements just kind of go away i don't know again what that is other than it's got to be a chemical thing going on in the brain where you're just a little more open to taking care of certain things that maybe you normally wouldn't or she would take care of you're just kind of a yes ma'am there's no argument there's no discussion it's like of course i'll take care of that it's like an attitude adjustment almost interesting interesting i guess one of the other questions that i have is have you had moments uh where you had to kind of will yourself through the process um in other words mental challenges to kind of keep going or stay with it okay can we talk about october for a second oh my god yeah i've been waiting for this we were invited to be guest speakers for two engagements on a six-star crystal cruise ship with 310 lifestyle couples and it sails from Montreal to Boston during the peak foliage season I'm super excited and honestly I'm really nervous yeah it's kind of a version of like a swinger ted talk that we're gonna have to do oh my god i know and more importantly if you know the brand it's llv luxury lifestyle vacations you may have seen them and they're sexy playmakers with their fun red hats this ship the crystal symphony is classy butler service for every single room michelin rated restaurants full spa clothing optional sensual playrooms like everything theme nights and international dj so it's luxury and nudity oh man this is gonna be great the bottom line is we want you there with us it's 310 couples and like all their vacations they book up fast they really do their vacations are extremely popular so please come with us and in order to find it all you have to do is go to our swingerlinks.com and look for the LLV Sensual Voyage.
We hope you'll join us. Yes, kind of like I mentioned, for me, the only part where it can be challenging is if, you know, you're caught and we're both professionals, she's pretty busy with the business that she does. She does a certain amount of travel. So if she's like all business, and I think guys are always thinking about sex, and I think when women are busy or tasked with things, it might be one of the last things on their mind. So certainly, if you're not feeling sexual, you're not really thinking about, well, what do I need to be doing to torture my partner right now?
So that is the challenge is if days are going by, week goes by, and you're so ingrained in daily life, a big part of the whole Chastity thing is the kind of the subdom aspects and the submissiveness. And so of the things that we again being new to the lifestyle i'm way more open to this than red is where i would love her to just like be out on business trip and just like pick up some guy have sex like not telling tell me like a month a couple weeks or a month later like make it kind of intense like a little more more mean kind of means not the right word. Yeah.
I don't have a say in the matter. Right. And I think that is a part of the submissiveness is you don't have a say in the matter and I'm going to do what I'm going to do. Those elements, I would be like, oh, that hasn't happened. But that would be like an ultimate goal for me is if something like that, that would keep me keenly focused on the chastity aspect. So that is probably the biggest thing is if things are boring, then it's kind of like, yeah, this is just, I'm thinking through this and kind of picturing it.
And you have a daily reminder that there's something sexual going on or completely non sexual because you've been locked up, but it's there and it's tugging at your psyche so to speak and she doesn't have that so in in a sense you've got this perpetual reminder of what's going on and so she's kind of disconnected from that that would be the really big challenge for me is that I'm, you know, it's almost like someone's tugging at my, my, yeah, teasing me all the time yeah um and it makes it almost omnipresent in your mind that something's going on yes and that's very true because men's genitalia is on the outside and so we're're always aware of it.
And it's like, even from a young age, this reputation of like touching ourselves, whether it's baseball players or children or guys, or, you know, we're always reaching out and grab it. It's there. And it's like, look, if you had something hanging between your legs, you'd grab it too. Right. So yeah, you're always aware of it. And then you add the weight.
So the, the chastity cage that I'm wearing is you know it's metal it's like surgical steel so it has more weight to it so then yeah you're always like even more aware because you can you can feel it so it does kind of heighten like you're saying there's always that that constant reminder constant tease kind of going on yeah interesting well this is a good transition to kind of the next topic, which is some of the physical aspects of it. And it's, it's interesting because you're talking about the weight and I'm reminded of the Prince Albert jewelry.
And with the large gauge ring that I have, you know, when it's kind of just floating around bobbing, like I really do feel weight of it um it's it's there and it's this constant reminder or at least this occasional reminder of of what's going on but it's nowhere near as heavy as like a chastity cage i mean that's a lot more metal so so let's talk about that for a second you have a large metal cage wrapped around everything, your whole package. Is there any pain involved with that? I have done this for a total of, since 2015 when we first started, I think it's been a total of 245 days. Wow.
She locked me up yesterday, October 1st. Yeah. So I'm kind of assuming she's going to keep me locked for 31 days. But I don't know. You know, it's not up to me. It's up to her. The longest I've gone has been 35 days. Wow. It's kind of funny because once you get towards the end, I just remember that episode of Seinfeld where they were in the rental car and the rental car didn't have much gas left in it. And they kept driving and driving. And they were like, we're seeing how far they could go before it eventually ran out of gas. That's what it's like.
You're like, days are going by and you're like, I can do this another day. I could do this one more day. It's a mental, you know, totally this mental thing.
There are things that you need to be careful of, you know, every time you take a shower, paying attention to washing the cage, sticking your fingers into the crevices to kind of wash it and so forth i use grapeseed oil and this is a big thing if you just put on the cage and you're wearing it for a period of time you know you're definitely going to get chafing it's going to be pulling certain types of clothing might be more uncomfortable wow um having having some support is actually helpful um so you might think oh it would be just throw on a pair of shorts or something with no underwear.
It's probably going to be more comfortable to put some underwear on because it's going to hold the cage a little better. It's going to be more comfortable. Everybody always talks about coconut oil. But to me, grapeseed oil is a better alternative for many things because it's less viscous.
So it doesn't have that greasy greasy factor it absorbs in your skin really easily so it's a lighter thing and it's you know grapeseed oil is like any other oil you can eat it you know basically so it's really safe for your body for your skin nice so you put that around the ring the base ring that goes around both cock and balls it's mostly your testicles your scrot, that you want to have lubrication on because the skin can get shaved.
The biggest thing is if you're getting an erection, people think of having your dick in this cage is going to be uncomfortable, and that is not the uncomfortable part. Interesting. So having your penis get erect in the cage, and you can see your penis is almost bursting out of the cage cage that is not i mean it's not that that's comfortable but it's not the uncomfortable part the uncomfortable part is that is a set size and as your penis is growing it's pushing the entire thing forward right and so that that base ring is behind your testicles.
And so now it's going to be putting pressure on kind of that around the perineum. So from the perineum to where your testicles are, that is going to get like stretched and that becomes painful, downright painful. So when you start getting an erection, you're like, okay, we need to stop this right now because that is sore.
So I've done things as extreme as, and I'm like, no no doctor would recommend this but i actually put on a numbing cream you know when i that i did get like some soreness in that area i used a numbing cream a little a little tip here that some people may find disappointing but the most that i've gone without having any relief getting out of the chesty cage has been probably about two to three weeks. And what becomes a problem, it's not the pain as much as the lack of sleep. Because when you are getting nocturnal erections, which you cannot control, there's nothing you can take.
There's nothing you can do to change nocturnal erections as part of your body and any healthy male should be having nocturnal erections you are going to wake up with a raging heart on and you're going to holy shit my balls are on fire wow yeah because if you lay in bed like you're you it could wake you up but you might be that you know how that sleep sleepiness, like you just lay there, like you don't want to get out of bed because you're tired. If you just lay there, that erection is not going to go away. Most guys know what I'm talking about.
Sleepy penis, like you have a meal and you sit down, slosh down on the sofa, like that's a great time to get sleepy penis.
And as long as you're in the position, you're going to have an erection so you need to be like up so that what i found was okay i gotta go to the eventually you can go to the bathroom right because you want to go pee and you're gonna have to stand like literally stand up for whatever five minutes until the erection goes down but then it will get to the point where you go you go to bed and then it could be i don't know 10 minutes later that maybe the erection comes back so it really will impair your sleep and that is probably the thing it's like well you can't go that many days with having you know your sleep disrupted yeah so what you can do and this is kind of the scouts honor thing because there's no chassis cage is going to contain any any cock the penis is so when it's completely flaccid you can push the penis into the body right you know right and so you can just push that in and it comes out the top of the base ring now the cage is still going to be locked on your testicles so you can't get the cage off but your penis is out so then people would say well wait a second then you're cheating all i say is, whenever she puts me in that cage, there's no cheating going on.
I am not going to masturbate regardless, and I never have. So it's very, very much a mental thing and a submissive thing. Like, she told me to do this, and I am doing it.
I do find that at night when you go to bed, you can do that little pullout, and then you're not going to have the disruption of the sleep because there's really no way around the disruption of sleep yeah yeah that thing that thing is on there for 30 days but there there's a little work around there now for people who are really extreme and i have one of these but i haven't worn it for any real length of time they have a uh like a sounding like a catheter three inches to four inches long that you know goes right into the penis down the urethra and it screws onto the end of the uh chassis cage wow so i think you know then it would be really hard to pull your penis out of that right but yeah that that one freaks me out that the sound that's another topic but the sounding when we went to see a pro dom a few years ago and got into some ass play and the pro dom pulled out these sounding things and she was like oh and we can use these and was like covered her eyes just like no and i was like well i don't think i'm i don't think i'm ready for that but that did plant the seed in my mind.
So later on, being the kinky, perverted guy that I am, I'm like, huh, I wonder what that's all about. I want to try that. So I actually have tried the sounding. And so then this chastity cage has a urethral plug, I think is what they call it, on it.
But I have not worn that long periods of time periods of time fascinating i'm so fascinated by this okay so then you do you can take your penis out of the cage for some periods of time during the 30 days or whenever you want to right to to give a little relief but then you put it back in i that the sleep aspect makes sense um what about when you're showering you don't really need to because you're you just are diligent when you're cleaning right exactly yeah and then how is peeing through the cage is that messy you know i i have no problem if you're if your urethra your pee hole is not lined up with the opening in the cage, obviously it could be messy.
It could splash. After you have some experience with it, you get to know things pretty well and you have to get a cage that fits appropriately. It can't be loose. I've seen in some of the social media, I've seen guys and it's too loose. loose. Like, no, it has to be relatively snug, like fit. And it'll stay in place better. And then I can actually pee standing up. But honestly, like at night when I go to the bathroom, I sit down anyway because who wants to try on a light in the middle of the night and look to see where they're peeing and just sit down.
So generally sitting down is a lot easier.
I don any issues with that there's no problem nice have you ever heard of any of the muscles being weakened or shrunk there's some narrative out there that that can happen but can it really over a period of a few weeks i i do think that you'll see um because if you're not getting sexual stimulation where you have a prolonged you know erection erectile tissue the more that you use it and especially if you edge and know how to really maximize your erectile tissue while you're having sex that does keep it that tissue kind of at its peak so to speak size-wise i do think that you'll see you know whatever you want to call it shrinkage or or whatever but that's that's going to go as soon as you have as soon as you have sex that's going to go away there's nothing there that would be like oh you're permanently gonna you know be smaller or anything like that just like no that's not a thing right fascinating i'm so fascinated i love knowing about all the kinks and all the the things that everyone really enjoys for their own pleasure we talked a little bit about the power dynamics uh we talked a little bit about how this enhances you know the the sexual participation your focus gets changed uh 100 to miss red and so then she gets your your full attention and that in turn gives you pleasure and are there other types of pleasure that you can participate in together while you're caged or is it are you just 100 off the table with all sexual activity here's why we sail on Virgin.
It's adults only. No kids screaming at breakfast. No family buffet lines. Just champagne at noon. Late night pool parties and people who actually want to be there. The vibe? Think boutique hotel that happens to float. Tattoo parlors, drag brunch, restaurants you'd actually pay for on land. Plus, when you're looking to connect with other couples who know how to have fun, let's just say Virgin attracts a very specific type of adventurous. No wonder Breadcruisers here, just your people. No, not at all. Then you can get into pegging, right? So, you know, and I love anal play.
So that's something that we experienced at the ProDom some years ago. And I enjoy that very much. I enjoy doing it to her I enjoy her doing it to me I will say that because of my personality, it becomes another challenge in this whole concept of, you know, the prostate orgasm. Now, I've only had one prostate orgasm. This was like a complete accident. This is a long time ago. She was gone. I was caged. I took out her magic wand.
your this is a long time ago she was gone i was caged i took out her magic wand your prostate is a part of your whole sexual anatomy so you got your you know your your seminal vesicle and your prostate provide the secretion of an ejaculation prostate stimulation pressing on the prostate actually feels really good so when you haven't had sex for an extended amount of time you start to get like i don't know what the right word would be a little angsty a little like oh like squirmy kind of like oh i just want to even if you're not even if you don't have an erection you just you have this kind of sexual energy prostate play is like a relief like you can actually kind of rub you know rub the prostate prostate play and so i was i was not doing that per se but i was just putting the magic wand on my perineum right it was just like it was like a um a massage like it felt like it was comforting kind of a thing like i didn't have an erection you know i was caged and it just like oh it was like a relief right not necessarily a release it was like a relief and it was just like ah this feels so good that low rumbly thuddy magic wand you know vibration and all of a sudden this i started to get this this sensation inside like not the penis but from my you know in internally like behind behind the belly button the prostate area like just started to get like warm and all of a sudden it was just just like this building crescendo and i ejaculated and i had no idea that was gonna i wasn't trying to do that i had no idea it was gonna happen and i swear to god come shut up like in the air over my head i was like what the fuck like i just i was like what just happened but i never had an orgasm like that it was not your typical orgasm it was like a deeper um not necessarily more satisfying but It was like your whole body was like a whole body orgasm like you just felt it just felt a whole lot different interesting yeah so since then you know i'm like why i want it because you hear about these guys that can you know come from getting penetrated i'm like i'm gonna i want to do that i want to experience that right you know, and being into anal play.
So that's another thing is, you know, she's got a strap on. She's, you know, and this, this, the toys are not small. I mean, I can take a lot. And so she has enjoyed, we don't do that a lot. It's not something like, she's not like saying, Hey, this weekend, let's fuck you in the ass. You know, it's not it's not like that, per se. But when when we do have an occasion, she does enjoy it because, you know, at first, I think a typical woman is going to respond to pegging like, why would I want to do that? What's in it for me?
And then when they do it, then they hear the guy moaning and like, oh, oh, that feels good, you know and it's something they're doing you know they're thrusting and that's happening it's like oh that's a different experience and so there is she does enjoy that it's giving her you know some power that's not typical for the female experience and it's it's really enjoyable and that is one of the things that i like but that you know that prostate orgasm while being penetrated has been elusive i haven't experienced it yet interesting fascinating i love it so wait then when you're stimulating the prostate you don't get an erection and if you start to get one is it does that basically just do you have to stop because it starts pulling no it's god it's really hard to explain it's it's like once you become versed with chest you can kind of you know kind of where your body's at so like when you're focusing on that you're just going to focus on your ass you're just going to focus on that area of your body you're not going to focus on the penis which you know is not natural for you know we're so in males we're so used to stimulating that part of our body and having that part of our body involved but because you don't want to get an erection you will get aroused you're going to get some level of arousal and erection but it's not going to be you know it's not going to be the point of like oh you know i'm ready to penetrate right it's not going to be that level of arousal so um you know i think with prostate play you're definitely going to be there's going to be some level of arousal but not not like when you know the male is doing the penetration oh okay okay because i i was dying to know that part because i thought god you're going you're going and then you're like stop no not quite interesting so it sounds like then to to kind of bring it back to um earlier when you were talking that that it's that sleep deprivation because you know that pain part where you're you're getting the nightly wood or the morning wood where you're not being able to um sleep because of that that pressure that involuntary pressure in the of right that's the biggest challenge with chastity, honestly, is the nocturnal erections.
Interesting. Other than that, it's easy peasy. Interesting. I should send you this link. So one of my favorite content creators is Venus Cuckoldris. I love her podcast. I listened to the one on this past weekend and she had a, um, uh, a link in there to a talk that Dan Savage gave that was about, it was a YouTube talk. Maybe you guys have seen it. It was five years ago and, uh, it's phenomenal. It's, it's on kind of our, in our realm of sexuality and, you know, sex conversations. I don't know that there's anything specifically to say, like, to the community.
The one thing that I would say is you guys know me pretty well and I don't have. You know, it's not that I'm shameless, but I don't really have much in the way of shame. It's like, I am who I am. I'm going to present that. I'm going to talk about the things I'm interested in. I have no shame around talking about, oh, I like getting fucked in the ass or, you know, stuff like that. And I do think for men, you know, so I identify as a cis, you know, cis hetero male.
What do they call it heteroflexible but then you get into these other elements of like well on the submissive side well what if jen you know tied me up and we're like we're at a sex party and like whoever wanted you to fuck me right like i'd be i'd actually be down for that like i could do that so i think then you get in so with a lot of things so the only thing that and i'm not it's not like it's not a hot button for me but i do see this where men are really challenged to talk about certain sexual things because they think it might be perceived as gay or if a woman hears me saying this i'm going to be judged and i'm in the swimmer community and i want to be having sex with women so i don't want to be judged that way and i do think that That's right.
if a woman hears me saying this, I'm going to be judged and I'm in the swimmer community and I want to be having sex with women. So I don't want to be judged that way. And I do think that there's a lot of guys out there, like super masculine guys, you know, that would be down for all kinds of things, but they will a hundred percent are not going to admit that or talk about it because there's shame there or they're embarrassed about it.
So I don't know that that's a topic to really conclude with, but, you know, maybe there's a nice way of saying simply that, you know, if you're, if you're in the community and into this, like own it, you know, it's like, there's, this is something that's really fun for you women out there who have partners that may be interested in it you know just listen with open ears and an open heart if if they have an interest if your partner has an interest in stuff like this um because you know as with partners we owe that to each other right to listen and to be open um so you know you might on your sexual interest got the venn diagram you got that little bit of overlap where you're kind of exploring and it's like if you have a committed partner you got to be interested in kind of pushing pushing your boundaries so that you get a little more overlap on that venn diagram right if you're a switch be proud be proud of like exploring this stuff and don't let what other people think you know stop you stop you from exploration.
Well, thank you so much for sharing your experiences with Locktober and the challenges and maybe some of our listeners will consider this as an opportunity to explore a little bit in areas that they'd never thought to to try thanks for tuning in we appreciate you joining our community don't forget your homework tell a friend about our show and leave a review and comment you can also leave us a voicemail at 916-538-0482 or contact us at swingeruniversity.com keep keep growing, and keep it kinky. Oh, one last thing before you go.
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