Ghost of a Chance - Why Ghosting Hurts the Lifestyle

Transcript

Speaker1: Let's get out of here. Huh? Well, you just kind of went fast, like backwards. Did I scare you, baby? 7 o'clock? Did you get a thrill? God, like two minutes ago, it was 6.39. No, sweetie, it's 7 o'clock. Oh, we're already recording? We're already recording. I just figured, what the hell? You know, what the hell? Don't worry. I won't put all of this on. Okay. I'll just put the naughty bits. All right. All right, so we're going to begin in 3, 2, Welcome back everyone to an all new episode of the My Secret Seduction podcast. I'm John. And I'm Sue. And today we're going to talk about a topic that lately has kind of really gotten to me. Well, actually, it got to you first. And that's ghosting. You know, you make an effort to reach out to someone. You say you're interested in connecting. And then you make plans. And when you blow off those plans, you ghost. Or better yet, somebody reaches out to you. Well, that's what I'm saying when I say you. I don't mean us. Oh, okay. All right. I mean others. I mean, I guess that we could be well we could go either way but we don't ghost yeah we don't ghost we will you know there may be times we have to settle certain things to by blocking because you know we don't need the drama but we don't ghost we will always give someone a reply and say you know thank you for reaching out thank you for this but we don't think there'll be a connection we don't you know we're very busy at the time whatever say something I mean think about this you know it's the same thing and I know this is going to sound like a weird analogy but like you go for a job interview. If you don't get the job, it would be nice to hear from the employer and just say, you know, thank you very much for your time, but we're going with other people. You know, or for that matter, as has happened to me in recent days, we're about ready to extend an offer of employment. We did actually extend an offer of employment. All we needed were the references, never got the references, and when I reached out to get them, he ghosted me, the guy, for a job. So, when it comes to the lifestyle, you know, a couple reaches out. Now, this happened, it was twice now so far, I think. I don't think we've been, but still, twice is too much as far as I'm concerned. You know, the first time was quite a, about two years ago. And we're not even talking about ghosting where, like, the communication just stops. We're talking about ghosting when you actually have arrangements to meet up and agree to meet up. That's what we're talking about. Well, we're talking about that, but that's when the communication stops. I mean, we had booked a hotel down in the city and planned to meet this couple. Now, they were relatively new and we understood that. They weren't even sure if they were going to do anything. And there was that possibility. But even if nothing else, we could have met, we could have talked, we could have had a few drinks and shared our experiences because we were still relatively new. And, you know, we agreed with them to meet at a bar. Yes. It wasn't like we were meeting at the hotel or at the hotel room. We were meeting at a bar. And if we felt good about things, we could go back to the hotel room. Right. Right. They never showed. They never showed. So yeah, we went to the bar. We sat there. We waited. We waited. They never showed. You tried to reach out. And all the communication at that point just stopped. They never, ever, like, communicated with us ever again. No. Never replied to anything. And it's just... Whether it was text or through the website that we were connected with. I'm not even going to say that. I you know I don't want to call people out but I do want to call out the whole concept of ghosting that it bothers me yeah I mean you know it yeah exactly and so and then this happened again so that happened a couple years ago and then and then it happened again recently yeah we had a hot date and we had gotten a hotel we had the day off and again this was something where in this case no harm no foul because we plan to have fun no matter what in that regard but this couple reached out they asked us where we were We told them where we were going to be. We said, you know, when you're on your way, we told them the room number. No show. And then I start contacting them. No answer. Next thing I know, you know, because they'd open PICS, they shut down PICS. And then no answer. And I'm just like, what is going on here? What is it with people? Just a simple, hey, you know what? We changed our minds. We're not feeling well. Too much distance. Anything. Make a freaking excuse. Yeah, but this isn't even a case of, you know, because we'd opened the picks already. They told us we were attractive. So I don't think they, you know, but unless they were picture hunters. Well, that's the thing. And that's what I wonder about. Right. And the first couple, I wouldn't say that because it was through a website of, you know, like a club that we, you know, we were all members of. So I don't think that was the case. No. But it's just, it's just incredibly And you know, in both cases, if I'm not mistaken, they reached out to us, I think, right? Both times. Both times. Both couples reached out. This wasn't us doing anything. They reached out. We said, hey, cool. You know, we've had conversations back and forth. We talked, the one recently, we talked to them before. That's what I don't get. It was like, hey, you know, they said, we saw the hot date. This is an opportunity. We've got some free time today. We'd love to come up and meet you. Cool. But nothing. So, you know, I feel like there's a few different things that could be going on there. They could be picture hunters, which is, you know, really creepy, but that is the case. It could be the guy or it could be the woman who's one of them doing all the communicating and not being fully upfront with their partner about it. And then the partner's like, no, I don't want to do this. So then they kind of back out. But that could be that. I mean, I guess there could be a lot of other things that could happen. But again, even if you decided you didn't want it, like it's, Shoot a note. Hey, you know, real sorry, but we're going to have to bail. Yeah. You know, whatever. And that's just common courtesy. That's, you know. That's all. And we've known other people who this has happened to before. You know, I mean, and it happens a lot in the lifestyle. I mean, I think everybody that we know has had experiences like that where, you know, they've been, you know, ghosted by somebody. And it's just it. I don't know why people feel like they can. Like you wouldn't do that. Well, maybe they do. I don't know. Maybe they do that with everybody. Maybe they do that with family and vanilla friends. Who knows? But, um, anyway, yeah. So it's, it's a huge pet peeve. So it's just like, look, if you're going to, you know, change your mind, cancel plans, what have you, just say something. Especially when you went to all the effort to initiate the contact. And like you said, this wasn't even just a one and done conversation. We were back and forth with both couples in both of those situations. So it didn't make sense that suddenly, nope, not happening. And never reply. And that's what killed me. It was like, no, not happening. And even when you were like, hey, the last couple, you were like, hey, are you guys still on your way? And then they never replied and you were like, guess not. At that point, I could only laugh. I mean, it was funny because you were really annoyed because we were waiting in the hotel while we didn't do anything. We were, you know, we said, we'll wait for them. Um, and I wasn't at first, but I got annoyed once I realized what I, I, the back of my mind didn't, I knew, or I felt I knew that something was going on, but I was actually like, well, you know, you were trying to be a bit of a distance. Yeah. And you know what? Even if it was something as simple as that, you know what? not up for the drive. Hey, cool. Because guess what? We had the hotel anyway. Yeah. We didn't book. In this case, with the second couple, we didn't even book the hotel because of them. The first one we did. Yeah. We booked that hotel. Thank God it was a day use hotel. So we were able to cancel it. It didn't cost us anything. But, you know, they didn't know that. By the way, folks, if I may give a quick recommendation, dayuse.com. Give it a look, you know, for your daytime hotel needs. If you're looking to just a couple in the afternoon and you only need a place for a few hours. They're fairly inexpensive. Yeah. Yeah. You can get like a block of about maybe four or five hours. And it's a lot of times different time slots. It can be even be longer. Like it could be like 10 to five. You have it. And sometimes it might be like two to eight. Getting an evening one like from like four to 10 or whatever is a lot harder, especially on the weekend. Right. I mean, there's limitations, you know. But still, is a nice option so if you want to just like get a room for a few hours even if you just want to do it with your partner just to get have a little spicy time just the two of you you can do it we've done that okay john cutting in here because the audio cut out on us now this was done actually in two parts so what i'm going to do is i'm going to actually just cut us away like we'd originally planned say we're going to take a little break because we went to the party and then we will resume with our discussion but the bottom line is folks don't ghost it's a terrible thing to do be you know honest and open with people or even if you got a lie at least come up with a decent lie but do not just cut people off cold anyway we'll be right back All right, welcome back, folks. I think we're the only podcast without sponsors at the moment, so be thankful for that. So, Curtain being pulled back, it's actually a full week since we recorded the first half of the show. We intended to record the second half on the way home. But I think we just were too much enjoying our glows. I don't know. Maybe. You know. Possibly. It was a really successful party, I think. Could there have been more people? Yes. But I think the group we had was a mix of veterans and some new folks who, I don't know if they actually played with anyone, but they certainly played with each other because I saw some of them doing it. One couple in particular was very, like, the lady was very gregarious, outgoing. Like, you know, for someone who is just brand new, first ever walking into a club, it was like, you wouldn't know she was new unless she told you. Because she just, not that she was flirty or anything, she just was talking. Friendly. She was very friendly. And a lot of times, I mean, I could talk from experience with us when we went to our first club. We just stood there. Didn't know what to do. So, you know, hopefully we're going to see them at future events and such because they were just a lot of fun to talk to. Yeah. So, but for us, it was an interesting evening because it started out with me not wanting to do anything. I hadn't been feeling well all day. And, you know, you kept asking me, are you okay with it? If I play, if I, I told you, I've told you this plenty of times before. I'm fine with it. I have no issues with you, you know, playing with someone. And you definitely wanted to play with this young man, a single guy, because we had single men at our Sadie Hawkins party. And this gentleman, R, certainly caught your attention. What was it about him? He's gorgeous. He's gorgeous. Like, wow. He's got an amazing body. Nice looking guy. Yeah. So, you know, You and him were talking and stuff. Can I just interject something? You want to interject something? I also want to talk about he knew how to do the hello. He knew how to do the hello. Okay. Well, he walked in because we had about how many single guys? We had four single guys. Four single guys. A couple of the single guys that showed up didn't talk to anybody, I don't think. They didn't approach anybody. They didn't approach. I don't know what they were. Well, that's the thing. But they didn't even approach the men. Because the role was they weren't supposed to go to the women. And yes, that's one thing. But they could approach the husbands and chat them up. Instead, they stayed with me and Steve talking to us at a table. Steve, the owner. Because as I say, initially I wasn't doing anything. But this gentleman, we introduced him around. And the thing is, he talked to the women. But we introduced him. And it was just, it wasn't like he was asking them to go play. Right, exactly. But he was very friendly and very confident. Yes. You know, in his approach. Extremely confident. Extremely confident. I'd like that confidence. I think you're pretty confident. He's got me beat, though. But, you know, nice smile. Whole thing. Whole thing. And anyway, you know, we played the games. We had, you know, we did all of the games and everybody had a good time. We gave away the prizes. And then after that... Yeah, there was the one game that went a little off because I was expecting... It was one where you had to do dares for points, and they kept choosing the high-end dares, and they kept going through with the dares. Basically, it was a tie for the entire game. Yes. So in the end, we took one of the prize bags that had a bunch of stuff in it, and we all had them all pick something. Yes. So that worked out all right. But after all the games played, I was sitting next to R at the table, and we were just chatting and I was like, you know what, I'm going to ask. And I was like, you want to go into a room? And he's like, I would love to. And I was like, okay. And so we did. And you didn't go into a room. We went into like the back area where the play area where you had the curtain. So it wasn't like a room. Right. And then our friend A joined us and she and I had fun with our for a while. It was all oral. Yeah. Yeah. It was all oral. Right. And then he got up and... Well, you both got up. You got up, too, and you left for a moment, so he got up. Okay. Because I saw you. I don't know if you had to go to the bathroom or what it was, but you left, and he left. Well, you came back, and he was still talking to someone in the kitchen. Yeah, he was gone for a bit, and then there was a couple that, you know, we met through the club that were hanging out in that area with us, and the gentleman, S, was, you know, very... And he was laying there and he was caressing my back. And it was really kind of nice. And I was enjoying that. And then I found out it was his birthday. And then I was like, well, I need to, you know, help you celebrate your birthday. So we did. It did. We did. And while we were celebrating his birthday, Art came back. Right. So you, and that's where I saw you, you were riding him. Yeah. Yeah. You were riding him. The whole time singing happy birthday. And that was a lot of fun. Right. Now you finish with S. Right. But you and I don't hook up on the bed there then. No, everybody kind of was chilling for a bit. Right. And then I think I went back to the table, and then that's when all of a sudden you, who wasn't going to play at all, got convinced. Well, there is a couple we know, we've known for a while, and we've played with them multiple times, E and I. And she and I were just dancing. But as we danced, she was tweaking my nipples and cupping my ass and my balls and just, you know, who can resist that kind of temptation? She convinced him. She convinced me. She convinced me. So we took it over to, you know, the same area. That same area, right. But you had left. Right. S was still there with his wife. Right. And A was in there. A was in there. And basically, I was fucking S's wife, C. And then he fucked A. And meanwhile, the whole time, me and E were just going at it. Primarily missionary and doggy style. But, you know, a hell of a lot of fun. I mean, but I always love, I love playing with her. She's just, she's just very, relaxed with me, and I'm very relaxed with her. I don't get tense around her like I might sometimes. Even with women we've played with before, I get a little self-conscious. But her, I don't. It's weird. Yeah, she's very sweet. And you've, I mean, you've played with I've been numerous times and had fun. Yeah, he's a lot of fun. So all this is going on. You're at the table there, and Aura's at the table, I guess, with you. And we're just chatting a bit again. Right. And then he asks, he's like, do you want to go lay down somewhere? Lay down somewhere. And I was like, sure. And where you were was kind of crowded. So we went looking and we found one of the rooms. Actually, the private room where you, if you wanted to, you could shut the door. But we didn't shut the door. And he and I were in there for, you know, just the two of us for a while. Right. And that was a lot of fun. That was a lot of fun. Yeah. Did you ride him? I think I did. Yeah. I think so. Yeah. But he, he wanted to do missionary. So. Okay. Yeah. I don't. I mean, I did it with E. I don't care for it that often, but... Yeah. Although, actually, I say that the last two women I've played with, it's been missionary. Yeah. You know, now that I think about it. So... But you did missionary with him. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Okay. And then he... Didn't he do a little something, too, at the end? Or was that somebody else? I don't know what you're talking about. a little ending? No ending? No ending. Okay. Okay. Then I'm thinking of somebody else. I'm getting our stories mixed up. So that was fun. So then we were done. Then A came in and just like she found us and she just like hung out with us and we were just all talking. Right. And then I heard, well we all did, the three of us heard some, I don't know which, who it was. That was C. Oh, okay. That was C. The boy was she screaming. That was C getting it from I. Oh yeah, she was screaming like mad. I mean, it sounded like somebody was murdered. But in a good way. Yeah. No, no. She was really enjoying herself. Yeah. So that was pretty wild. And it was fun. I mean, it was a really good, it was a good night. It was a lot of fun. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, again, considering numbers could have been better. Yeah. But it was a good crowd. You know, in the end, it turned out to be a decent crowd. It was not a huge crowd, but it wasn't, I wouldn't say it was a small crowd either. No, I wouldn't say it was small. I think what in the end, how many couples you think were there? I forget. We were close to 20. That's not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad. Like in the old place, it would have been packed. That would have been, you know, you would have started getting nervous in the old place. Yeah, right. But this place could easily go, you know, to like 30, 40 couples. Easy. Easy. And that's what we're hoping to accomplish with our next party on December 13th, the Secret Santa. Yeah. We are really hoping to get a nice-sized crowd to celebrate the holidays. Because basically, we're handling the Christmas party for them. So that's at Wicked Fun Club in Middletown, Connecticut. Head on over to wickedfunclub.com and sign up for a membership. They sign up. They got the one month. They even have the one day. Now he's back to doing it. You don't have to have a full-time membership. You can just do the one-day pass. And then, you know, and it covers everything. That's cool. But the thing is, is it's like, you know, when you get the membership, you also get access to the website. You get to see those. You can communicate with people ahead of time. Yep. You know, so I don't know. To me. It's worth it. So, yeah, so we've got that. And then we have New Year's that we're going to be going to the IPG event. In Scranton, Pennsylvania. You can check that out there. Two-day party with. events and mostly hosted by RNC and with the pool. Clothing optional pool and everybody usually opts for no clothes. And then finally January 3rd is our Swinger match game night where we're going to take it back to game shows of the 70s and 80s and we're going to play some Swinger versions of newlywed game match game and win, lose, or draw. So it should be a lot of fun. It should be. It should be. And we'll also celebrate our birthdays. Yes. On that, January 3rd. And that's, again, wickedfunclub.com. And then, hopefully, we're talking about Naughty in New Orleans. We've got to start looking into that and see what that's going to happen. Well, yeah, but before that, we're planning to have more events at Wicked Fun Club. Oh, absolutely. Well, certainly, but, like, you know, we haven't planned it yet. I mean, we've talked about, we're talking about a sci-fi night we're talking about a uh doing valentine's and st patrick's day milf right um i think i think we're gonna i think we're gonna try and do them because you know it didn't work the first time because the club got shut down and then um he tried to do it and i don't think he got much of a turnout so he canceled it so we're gonna yeah we're gonna try and do that as well may milf madness plus i also was talking to him about opening it up to friday nights, even if it's once or twice a month. Yeah. Because I was talking to some of the members, some of the VIP members, and we were talking about even doing a watch party night. Watch party? Watch party. We watch like stranger things. Oh, porn. You can watch porn anytime you're there. Oh, funny. You know, and you hang out and, you know, after a while. If things happen, things happen. If not, if not, you know. Okay. So Steve's looking into all those things. There'll be more announcements coming out of Wicked Fun, so you should head on over there and check it out. But that's going to do it for this episode. Make sure, folks, you are liking and subscribing to us on your favorite podcast platform. Make sure you leave us a review. Even if it's only three stars or something, it still gets us attention on the particular podcasting apps. And if you're not a podcast person, like in the sense of Having an app, head on over to MySecretSeduction, where you'll find MySecretSeduction.com, where you'll find all our episodes available there for you to download as well. Our last episode was actually our most downloaded to date. Wow. The Hello. Very cool. So that's interesting. So hopefully that helps some people. You can also leave us a voicemail if you're so inclined. Maybe you've got a question you'd like us to answer. You can do that by tapping on the side. of the webpage at MySecretSeduction.com and leave that there. So I guess next time we'll be talking about what happened after Christmas or the Christmas party, I guess. Yeah, probably. So we should do like a New Year's resolution, but like sexy New Year's resolution. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah, maybe we'll do that. All right. Well, until then, folks, thank you so much for listening. Thank you. This is John. This is Sue. And we're saying, keep swaying. Thanks for listening, you sexy people. If you have questions, comments or topics for future episodes of the podcast, write us at jandsexplorers at gnail.com. Visit us on the web at mysecretseduction.com, where you can find our back catalogue of episodes, blog entries and more. This has been a Why Secret Seduction.