Better Late Than Vanilla

Transcript

Speaker1: Boom. Let's go back to my room. Though we can't sleep all night because we're old birds. hey gang welcome back to a new episode of My Secret Seduction, the podcast.
Speaker2: I'm Jay.
Speaker3: And I'm S.
Speaker1: And this time around, we're going to talk a little bit about getting into the lifestyle in your 50s wow you actually went and admitted the number i was going to say golden years but that sounded even worse i don't think these are golden years yet not yet not yet okay we still got more to go yeah okay these are more like platinum silver because platinum is more expensive than gold oh is, is it? Okay, that's silver. Silver, yeah. Yeah. We're actually, in fact, celebrating our silver years. We're at a hotel takeover this weekend for the Silver and Spicy Group. Yep. A group that's based out of New Jersey. And they have a hotel takeover as they started doing them, I think, last scranton pennsylvania and here we are yeah we're actually in the second day we were here yesterday friday and had ourselves a pretty good time didn't we yes yeah we did yeah this is um an incredibly well-run takeover hotel takeover they've got a lot of really cool events and things that you can you can go and enjoy and they have an indoor pool that's a bathing suit optional which is a big draw for a lot of people and it's just it's a lot of fun we always have a great time when we're here yeah yeah last night was really nice because there were what four or five couples that we kind of hung out with at the pool which is clothing optional yes and there was a lot of touchy-feely stuff going on there a lot of flirty flirty touchy-feely stuff a lot of flirty flirty touchy-feely that was fun that was fun yeah and We're getting into this evening's main event, which is the prom theme. Yes, it's adult prom so it's always very cool to see people all dressed up and looking forward to that i think that'll be a great time my my s is going to wear a beautiful black and white no well i'm, I'm going to wear that, but I have my prom dress. Oh, you have your prom dress, too.
Speaker3: That's right.
Speaker1: Which is the long one.
Speaker3: Right. Yes.
Speaker1: I'm just excited to see you in the black and white dress I bought you.
Speaker3: Yes.
Speaker1: I will wear that, too. It's got holes. That's the only way I can describe it. How would you describe it? It is a black and white mini dress with, I think they're called keyholes or something in the front.
Speaker3: Keyholes. Whatever.
Speaker1: But yeah, so this event, you have to be 50 plus to attend and both of you have to be. So it's like if you are a young and married to an older person, you cannot come. You cannot go if one of you is under the age of 50.
Speaker3: Right.
Speaker1: I'll see you next time. be so it's like if you are a young and married to an older person you cannot come you cannot go if um one of you is under the age of 50 right so we said happily or maybe sadly qualify for that age range so we're able to go and we've met some really cool people here that we've become friends with and and this is our third one since since they started we've been to all three yeah yeah and um yeah so you know we had talked on our first podcast about one topic being you know getting getting into the lifestyle later in life and you know i think it's just been very kind of interesting journey um you know we we didn't really start getting into this until we were already in our 50s so you know it was a little i think intimidating initially we did a lot of reading and a lot of reading a lot of podcasts yeah listening to a lot of podcasts and you know what we learned is that it's not that uncommon i mean there are actually a good number of people in our age range or around our age range you know that are in the lifestyle some that are new to it we've met other couples that have only been doing it a short time that are in our age range and then there are other couples that we know that have been doing it for like 20 years right you know so it's very interesting to see um i think one of the things that i i like about and this goes back to one of the things that i i personally like about the lifestyle is that it's not a judgmental you know it's kind of a no judgment zone when it comes to age i mean definitely there are people who make it very clear like through their profiles on on sites like sls that they're not interested in older people and that's totally fine that's absolutely fine but like i don't feel that being my age is necessarily like people aren't you know looking and going oh you know if i went to a regular club a regular dance club i'd feel incredibly awkward hanging out in a regular dance club i would feel like everybody would be like what is that old lady doing here what is she doing here and i never feel like that when i'm at a lifestyle event regardless of the age ranges that are there um so i think that's a very cool thing and i think it's been very helpful in terms of just feeling confident and you know feeling comfortable in my own skin as i'm getting older yep and you definitely have a lot more confidence since you've been in the lifestyle I'll see you next time. feeling comfortable in my own skin as i'm getting older yep and you definitely have a lot more confidence since you've been in the lifestyle i think i think you have you're you're uh you surprise me every almost every single time almost every single time with with certain things whether it was the first time we we did that soft swap where you kind of just on the dance floor at the club at Saints, stripped down to your brawn panties. That shocked me. That shocked the husband of the other couple, too, you know? But I also, I like to think I've gotten a lot more confidence. Oh, you have for sure. Since, and I do things I would never, ever, like you say, you cringe at the idea of being in a regular club. I would never go to costume parties. To me, that seems silly. But now I look forward to tonight. I've got my prom outfit ready. I've got this crushed red velvet with gold jackets and my jeans and sneakers I'm going to wear with it. But still, I know, and my bow tie. I'll have my bow tie. But, I mean, I have worn the pineapple suits. I've worn – I went as a Riddler, the Riddler for one party. Oh, great. That was a great one. That was a great one. St. Patrick's Day, two years in a row, I've worn the kills. I would never do things things like that. And that's the thing. And it didn't take us long to get into that groove. It's funny because there are people who've been doing this for over a year and they're still like kind of hesitant. And that would be my biggest thing. Guys, we're all in this. And, you know, they all say, well, we're all in this for sex. But it's more than that. You know, we're all in this because we want to make connections and we want to make friends and we want to, you know, establish relationships, you know, and I don't mean romantic. I mean, just relationships. And the only way you can do that is if you start getting out of your comfort zone. And frankly, this is the best place to do it is in the lifestyle. Because again, I would never have dressed up in costumes. I would never. I hate beaches. We talked about Gunnison Beach last time. I hate beaches, but I love going to Gunnison. I have no problem. And I will strip down the moment we arrive. And so do you. I'm not much of a dancer. You were teasing me last night on the dance floor again about how i would complain about my hips locking up when we were dancing years and years ago in our 20s on a cruise but here i am you know and i could keep dancing with you all night yeah you know yeah we have fun we have fun we have a lot of fun and you've gotten much better about the twirling me around you don't twirl me around like you're gonna like fling me out out a window well no because you kind of tense up so it's like okay i happen to like to do a little speaking of swing swing dancing so and when we were younger and we would go and and you know be dancing and he would try that with me i i always felt like he was gonna like fling me through like the next room because he got a little a little uh enthusiastic right but now not so much not so much yeah not so much a little more controlled well last night that dance floor was packed too that's the other thing too because i was all set to do some some disco moves when they were doing staying alive but i quickly realized it's like this ain't happening here there's too many people to be doing that stuff with you yep so yeah now so the events that that are happening today that we're gonna plan to hit so they have like a spirits tasting spirits tasting might be kind of fun yeah and then they have um speed dating speed which we did the first time last time we were here that was fun it was fun we we met up with a lot of people didn't make like any connections there that like led to anything but we did you know we and we did sort of like land some online friends that we connected with later on sls so and some of them are here again tonight so who knows yeah so that and then they have um swingo which is uh kind of like bingo but with music with me with music because it's supposed to be single yeah but then they add the w yeah i mean the music is well last time we killed it well almost killed it we came in close yeah uh because it was tv themes this time around it's prom music so that'll be that'll be interesting that'll be interesting how that goes right and then they have a um like a comedian they have like you know like oh they have like you know kind of a party on the second floor where we have our rooms um like a pre-party where people could kind of go around and you know have shots and you know do different things yep and then they have we'll be we'll be doing come shots tonight that's right and then um they have the comedy club or not club but it's a comedy show the last two times they had great comedians yes i mean laugh my ass off both times and that's something that's something else too like i don't know i mean maybe the bigger ones do but like local groups that do hotel takeovers who has a comedian yeah yeah i don't know we haven't been to a lot of hotel takeovers outside of this room we've been well recently we've been to a few and there was never had they never had like a show like that so they have like a comedy show which is fun and then they're gonna have karaoke which i am looking forward to because i love hamming it up yes she does she and she's well she says hamming it up but she's a very good singer thank you thank you darling yeah and then um and then there's the the dance floor the dance party and then like kind of an after party and a pool party that goes to three in the morning so us old folks we know how to have a good time exactly you know you almost look at it you're like probably under 50 thinking i'd like to go to that but they're very strict about that they it's funny some friends of ours came the first time with us and one of them she doesn't look her age and they pulled her aside they gave her a hard time for a while about it's not happy she was not happy about that no no but they're very careful about it um security is on hand Thank you. they gave her a hard time for a while about it she was not happy about that no no but they're very careful about it um security is on hand making sure that everything is going security is a good they have a good presence they do here they do more so i think than some of the other clubs more so than than any of the others that i've seen yeah yeah which is i mean it's nice it's an some people get annoyed you know um, with that. But I appreciate it. We've never had an incident. No. The crowd here is, you know, they're a good crowd. Yeah. But it's nice to know that their security, if anything, went sideways. Right. Right. But you can find, you know, they have their website. I think it's just simplysilverandspicy.com.
Speaker3: Yep.
Speaker1: And you can find them on SLS. I think you can find them on SDC. I have actually not gone and looked for them yet. We just recently signed up. If you're using SDC and you want to find us, JNS Explorers, we're on there. And My Secret Seduction, you'll find us there, plus SLS. And we have a free account on FetLife. I don't know what – Which I have yet to even go on that site. Yeah. I, I, I,ction, you'll find, is there, plus SLS. And we have a free account on FetLife. I don't know what – Which I have yet to even go on that site. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know if that's really meant for – I mean, you look at FetLife, but they say, oh, no, swingers go on there too. And it's like, yeah, but it doesn't look like it's meant for us. I don't know. We'll see. We'll hang on for a little while. So I would would highly highly recommend if you are in the general kind of new york new jersey pennsylvania area around that area if you are both you know 50 plus 100 check out silver and spicy yes absolutely i would highly recommend it definitely definitely uh and just some final you know to wrap up to what we were saying about getting into the lifestyle. And this can apply to anyone. It doesn't necessarily have to be for those over 50. Because, you know, if you do it, you're doing it to sort of grow as a person, as a couple, you know, that's the obvious stuff. But as your own individual people, and the only way that's going to work is if you go outside your bubble, and start some things you know don't be like oh you know i don't do costumes and showing up at events and in jeans all the time and wondering why you're standing in the corner it's like put on the costume have some fun people will walk up to you and be like oh you know when they see it i when i wore that pineapple suit you know you know they were people trying to figure out what my name should be. And I think in the end, what was it? Professor Pineapple. It was Professor Pineapple. Yeah. Yeah. You know, the kilts. You know, I wore the kilt and people were like, what's under? Are you wearing the underwear? I said, you had to feel for yourself. And honestly, it was mostly the dudes that asked. That was the scary part. It was the dudes asking, not the women. What was going on with that? I don't know that that was the scary part they were there was the dudes asking not the women what was going on with that i don't know that was freaky that was freaky but but really you know take you've got to take that step and it's more than just simply walking up to someone and going hey and getting them a drink or something you know it's just putting yourself out there and doing the weird thing like you know what and it's not and i won't say weird that's not that's not the right word but you know it's putting yourself out there but not in a way that isn't like authentic you know what i mean like it's not in a way that like you know it's it's just it's like pushing maybe like the thing that you kind of secretly right okay there you go because i was gonna say what's authentic it's it's like the thing that you would be like you know looking at somebody else doing and being like oh I wish I had the guts to do that I wish I had the guts to wear that costume or I wish I had the guts to wear a sexy dress like that you know but you never do because it's you know that's not within your comfort zone like that's what I mean by being authentic just give yourself that little push right challenge Right. Challenge yourself just a bit and say, you know what? I am going to wear this sexy dress. And if people think that it doesn't look right on me, so what? I like the way I look. And you like the way I look. And that's all that really matters at the end of the day. So that's what I'm saying. So was I being authentic that time I walked out on the dance floor at one of victoria suarez parties and dropped my pants that was you were being pretty authentic well the host was upset because he was like nobody's going to the to the play areas somebody asked you to do that you just didn't like take it upon yourself and do it did you they didn't ask they said well i mean we were kind of like figuring out what was the best way to get things started and get people like maybe heading towards the play areas and i don't know maybe it was the host somebody said well someone should just drop their pants and and one of the girls can you know yeah and sure enough then you came along then he he comes running up alongside me drops his pants and his girl starts doing and well the funniest thing was i actually went to the ladies room i had no idea this was like about So I'm in the ladies' room, and I come out, and there is my husband standing in the middle of the dance floor with, like, his pants down. Yeah. And I was like, well, all right, well, don't mind if I do. Yeah. There you go. There you go. I mean, who knew last night that we'd be sitting in a pool, not sitting, but, like, swimming around in a pool in a big cuddle puddle of sorts with four other couples. Yeah, that was fun. That was fun. That was a lot of fun. And you don't know until you put yourself out there. Right. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Speaking of putting yourselves out there, upcoming things that we're going to be going to next weekend. We are going to be, that'll be the weekend of the 28th. But 28th. We're going to be at Paradise Mountains birthday celebration for the host where the theme is Adam and Eve.
Speaker3: Yes. Yes.
Speaker1: We have to figure that one out. We got to figure that one out because the theme sort of came last moment. We thought it was just going to be a birthday party. But we'll figure something out for that.
Speaker3: Yeah. Then – What else we got going on? I don't know. that's why i was saying we need to update the calendar yeah we've got things we've been talking about them back and forth yeah we have a house party coming up that we're looking forward to in the bronx yes we have that um but yeah not not anything big not anything big not yet anyway we'll Anyway, we'll see. Yeah. We'll see.
Speaker1: We are going to New Orleans for a few days in August.
Speaker3: Yeah.
Speaker1: So any of you in New Orleans, you know, hit us up if you want to meet. If you want to meet some old folks. If you want to meet some old folks.
Speaker3: Yeah.
Speaker1: One thing we're not doing yet at this moment is planning our own events.
Speaker3: Yeah.
Speaker1: We kind of hit a bit of a snag. I think we may have mentioned it on the last episode. We were doing parties through a club called Wicked Fun in Terryville, Connecticut, and they hit some legal issues that forced them to shut down. Now, they are looking at several properties. The one that they were hoping for most fell through. So now they're – It did. Yeah, just posted about it. But as soon as you know gets back in we'll definitely get you know things working with them again and in the meantime we're looking at a few other options just to sort of you know keep our keep our folks uh going and such in terms of uh finding fun yeah so to speak and hosting parties is funny we have you know didn't if we had a house that was conducive to doing it, we would. But we don't have a situation where we can... Well, even our house the way it is, even with kids out of the way, it wouldn't be the best party spot. Yeah, it's too small. It's too small. Yeah, it wouldn't really work. But that's why if we had a house that was conducive, that would be something. Yeah. Anyway, well... I think that's going to wrap it up for this episode. We're going to try and get more going now that we again, our son is home from college. So it sort of makes things a little difficult. This was perfect to come here. We're doing it in our room at the moment, Saturday afternoon of the takeover and such. I'm looking into getting us microphones that maybe what we can do is we could drive around in the car and record. I had a set. And then what happens? I get myself a new iPhone, which has a different Jack. So I can't use those mics. I got to find the new ones.
Speaker3: Yeah.
Speaker1: But anyway,
Speaker3: you know,
Speaker1: thank you so much for listening to our first episode. Thank you so much for your positive feedback and your request for more more is coming folks we love talking about the lifestyle with you we'd love to hear from you you know write us jnsexplorers at gmail.com and let us know what you're thinking and what you're looking for when it comes to the lifestyle. Yeah, any topics you'd love to hear us cover, too.
Speaker3: Sure.
Speaker1: We're open to hearing that, too, because, you know. We're all in this together.
Speaker3: Exactly.
Speaker1: Some more than others. Some more than others.
Speaker3: Yeah.
Speaker1: So until next time, folks, thank you so much for listening. This is Jay. And this is S. And we're saying keep swinging. Keep swinging. Bye, guys. thank you for listening you sexy people if you have questions comments or topic suggestions you can email us at jnsexplorers at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you. This has been a My Secret Seduction production. I'll see you next time.