5 Simple Rules for F'ing My Wife

Transcript

Speaker1: All right, so we'll begin this episode in three, two, one. Hey everybody, welcome back to the My Secret Seduction podcast. I'm Jay. And I'm S. And today, we're going to talk about something that, in many ways, is a big bone of contention with me. Because a lot of what happens in the lifestyle happens first online. Because a lot of people use online services, whether it's SLS, SDC, you know, and... Club websites. Club websites. You know, Saints and Sinners has one. What is it? Club for Play has one. Wicked Fun, which we'll talk a bit more about later on, has one. And it's an opportunity, unlike, say, as some of our friends who are long-time, like over 20 years, would tell us about, you know, the times they'd be putting ads in magazines or what have you looking to connect with people. It's very convenient these days. But because of it, it also allows a certain familiarity that may not be warranted, right. People tend to just, I think, generally, I think people tend to often not behave as well online. There's a certain anonymity to being online, so I think it makes people feel a little freer in how they act. Right. Right. So, you know, we were talking about this, and we said we wanted to do this, and Sue gave it a lot of thought, and she basically came up with Six? Yeah. Six simple rules? Mm-hmm. Or six categories, I guess. Yeah, I guess six rules. I was going to say six simple rules to fuck my wife. Oh, boy. Could be the title of the show. Oh, there you go. Okay. Sounds good. All right. So we're in the car again, by the way, in case you didn't know. We're on our way, actually, to go meet some lifestyle friends for a vanilla dinner. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, so let's see. Let's talk about the rules. Let's talk about the rules. So number one. Make sure that your online presence represents who you are now. Who you really are. Who you really are. Yeah. Honestly, it's everybody wants to put pictures on there where they're, you know, that are flattering to them. But and that's cool. When we say flattering, we mean 15 years old. Well, no, I mean, yeah, well, that's the issue. When you put pictures on there and only pictures of you on there, there that are really dated from many years ago, where you look really different now. It's just not cool. Because if the whole point is meeting up with somebody, they're going to see what you look like eventually. So just be yourself. Put the best pictures that you have of yourself, but recent ones. One's the way you look now. Otherwise, it could just be awkward and just It's uncomfortable if you meet somebody and they look at you and they're like, who the hell are you? So that's what I think is a key rule for me. I want to add something to it, too. Not only just the pictures, but then also what you write. Do you know how many people say, we're a no-drama couple, and then suddenly we get zapped with drama? Yeah. I mean, look, I think that you can't avoid the fact that you're going to have a little bit of drama in the lifestyle. I mean, you know, anything that involves human beings interacting with other human beings, regardless, there's going to be some level of drama, right? Correct, yeah. But, yeah, I mean, when you say drama-free, but then when you come and you are full of drama, that's a whole other thing. So, you know, just be honest with what you're looking for with, you know, kind of what, you know, what you want. And, you know, you will find people who see your profile that will want to connect with you based on your accurate description and recent photos. There you go. All right. So that's a good number one. Okay. Number two. Number two. I think this one we were saying be courteous. Be courteous. Be genuine also in how you speak to people online. And realize you're not in a nightclub. So you don't need to start off your message with, hey, and then that's it. Like, how am I supposed to respond to that? Hey. Although the best thing is when somebody reaches out and they're like, hey, we're like, hey, how are you? Right. Good. Yeah, good. You initiated conversation. Say something. Yeah. Yeah. Or, you know, another big pet peeve, and this a lot of times has to do with the way single guys reach out. is, you know, they reach out and they're just very graphic about what they want to do right off the front without any kind of like, hi, my name is, or, you know, nice pic of anything. It's just, it's, you know, it's like talk to people the way you would talk with them if you met them in real life. Yeah. That's, you know, you've got your fair share of that. I, I, I handle most of our, our, you know, online presence. And it's amazing how single guys will reach out. Well, first of all, it says on our page, don't contact us, we'll contact you. You know, not that we're against single guys, but frankly, you know, and you know, you get embarrassed by, you're a hottie. You're a hottie. Single guys, if they, single guys can be very aggressive in reaching out just in general. So. And it really makes it bad for those single guys who are genuinely, nice. And we've met them. Yeah, absolutely. It makes it so that you feel like, I mean, there have been times I've thought to myself, you know what, let's just block single guys altogether. I'm like, well, that's not right either because maybe we're going to miss out on a potential friendship. Right. Right. So when you are reaching out, you know, first and foremost, before you even reach out. Read the person's or the couple's profile. Read the profile. Don't be triggered by the pictures you see and think about, you know, and get it in your head. what you can do, because then right off the bat, it's also no longer about, you know, a connection. It's just about satisfying your urges, which I know we're all in this for to a certain extent. But read the profile. If they say they're not into single men, at least if you're going to take your shot. And we've had a couple of guys and we've actually conversed with them where they say, I know it says this, but I wanted to introduce myself just the same. And some people might be like, well, that's still aggressive. It is, but at least it's polite enough. And I'll tell you, every time I've shot them down, they've always been nice enough to say, well, thank you very much for responding. You don't know how many people don't respond. Right. And I think that that brings me to rule number three. Yes. The don't ghost rule. Yes. This has happened to us, I don't know how many times, but somebody will reach out to us, a couple or even a single guy will reach out to us. We, you know, we look at their profile, we see that there's interest, you know, and, you know, they don't live very far. So we're like, hey, you know, it would be great to meet, you know, meet them for drinks or whatever. And, you know, we talk back and forth. They say they're interested, would love to meet up. You know, we have a little bit of a conversation back and forth. And then we'll say something like, okay, that's great. Well, you know, when are you free over the next month? Then that's it. Never hear from them again. It's like they fall into a void. And like, I just, to me that, I find that to be really confusing. So either you're full of shit, you reach out because maybe you just want people to open up pictures and that's it. And you figure that's a way to get people to do it. Or I don't know, I understand life gets busy and sometimes, you know, it's, it's easy to kind of like forget or, or time can go by and, and, you know, you might take a while to get back, but it's just that, like that complete ghosting that it's just It's just incredibly rude. It's just incredibly rude. Or if you just, like, you know, if you changed your mind and, you know, you said, oh, you know, I decided, you could just say that. Say, you know what, I changed my mind. You know, I thought about it. I don't think there'd be a connection. Or, you know, right now I'm just really, really busy and, you know, maybe we can connect again in a couple of months. Just say something. Don't just fall off of the face of the earth. That's just incredibly rude. Especially when you initiate the content. Especially when you initiate it. Right. That's what confuses me so much. It's like if somebody reaches, out, goes to the trouble of reaching out. I don't understand why you wouldn't at least, you know, continue to have the conversation, even if you decide in the end you don't want to meet. It just seems very strange to me. I don't get it. Yeah. Yeah. We've had plenty of those. Yeah. And after a while, and then my favorite ones, after a while, I will delete them, you know, to clear space so we can keep up with the relevant ones. And then suddenly it's like, hey, remember us? You know, six to eight months down the line, it's like, Yeah, I guess. Or maybe not. Yeah. Yeah. So definitely rule number three, no ghosting. You initiate, follow through. If it's not for you and you suddenly look and you're like, wow, you know, she's with a gerbil, then, you know, she hates it when I say that. But there you go. This just be like, and there's so many easy ways to do it. Our way usually is we don't feel there'll be a four-way connection. whether it's because I'm not feeling it, she's not feeling it, or we're both not feeling it. Then at that point, you know... We found that is actually a really nice way of... Well, actually, that goes to the next rule, right? Okay, rule number four. About, you know, how to turn somebody down, right? If you have people that reach out to you and there is no interest, so you could choose to ghost them, right? Which I think, still, I think is rude. I always would recommend that you do respond in some way. Just, you know, be courteous. So, you know, with the single guys, when they reach out, it's very, you know, I mean, Jay already kind of talked a little bit about, you know, how we handle that. I make it a point, even though it says that at first I was like, always, do you not read? I got mad, but I was like, you know what? Again, it depends on how they reach out. Even when they're just, you know, I've even responded to the haze just to see where we're going with this. I mean, very quickly, you see nothing's happening. But I'm sorry, continue. Yeah. So anyway, so, but then like if a couple reaches out and we're just not feeling it, we don't think there, you know, there's interest for whatever reason, you know, we will say a lot of times we will say, you know, thank you so much for reaching out, but we just don't think there'd be a four-way connection. That way we're not saying anything about anyone. You know, I, I think that's just a nice way of putting it. Um, but I would always recommend at least get back to people, you know, at least respond. And, you know, we've had people who, when we did that, they were like, so, you know, thank you so much for replying. Really appreciate it. You know, best of luck to you, you know, in your journey or whatever, you know, so. There was, there was one hostile. Well, yeah, there was one hostile couple. And this goes to the next rule about how to handle it when you get turned down. Now, you know, I know that you can say a million times, don't take it personally when you're in the lifestyle. Not everybody's, everybody's cup of tea. But, you know, it will sting. If you reach out and you put yourself out there and express interest and you get turned down, it's going to sting. We're human beings, right? But you can choose how you want to handle it. Again, you could just ghost and you could just, like, you know, not ever say anything ever again. Or you could just be, you know, polite and say, well, thanks a lot for getting back to us. We appreciate it. You know, best of luck to you or whatever, you know. So, you know, have fun, whatever. You know, I think that that's just, I think that's just a nice way of, you know, because the other thing is, too, this community is small. Yes. Especially if, you know, you're going to clubs or, you know, part of groups that are in your area, you're going to run into people. And if you're rude to somebody online, honestly, there's a real good shot that you're going to run into them in person. And it's awkward. So just be courteous. How many times have we sort of said, well, no, you know, just looking at someone like we were just looking and we talk about it. We didn't reach out. We didn't do anything. We just said, no, this isn't. Then we get to a party and we meet them. And it's a different story. It's a different story because you can't always tell. So, you know, don't burn the bridges because you never know. Forget about even just the awkwardness. You never know where that might turn into something. positive at a future time. Right. So what Jay was saying is, you know, there was, I think, one time a couple got mad at us because we said that, you know, we didn't think that there'd be a connection and they got really hostile and basically, you know, kind of yelled at us online. Yes. So, I mean, you know, we blocked them for a while. I think we eventually unblocked them. We unblocked them because, you know, again, don't want to, we don't want to be the ones who have that awkward situation. But we did because they were kind of writing a little aggressively for a while there. And we were like, okay, enough. Enough. Yeah. So that would be rule number five. Yes. And I kind of forgot what rule number six was. I had a feeling you were going to forget what rule number six. Unfortunately, I don't remember what rule number six was. Five simple rules for fucking my wife? Yeah, maybe it's more like five. Let's say we talked about how you put yourself out there, how to reach out to people, how to turn people how to respond when you turn people down. And how you should respond when you're turned down. Right. Right. So. What about. I think that's it. I think I know there was a sixth. You can't come up with. You know what. It'll come to us and we'll probably bring it up as an addendum somewhere. You know. But for now five rules. Five. Five rules. Yeah. All right. It's like that old Mel Brooks. from, I forget the movie. Oh, God, when Moses comes down, I bring you 15 commandments. And he drops one of the slates. Ten. Ten commandments. I give you five. Six rules. Five. Five rules. I can't remember the six. Yeah. All right. So there you go, folks. You know, if you've got any ideas, too, let us know. Write us at jnsexplorers at gmail.com or, you know, comment over on our SLS group, over on our SDC group, where we post these episodes. And let us know if you've got some rules of etiquette, online etiquette. Maybe you'll trigger us to remember what rule six was. So, story time. All right. So, recently, S and I went to a birthday party. A sexy birthday party. Very sexy. Started out in a restaurant. In a restaurant, at a bar. We had a little private room to ourselves that we weren't supposed to have at first. But I guess nobody was using it, so they were kind enough to say, hey, go ahead and just use it. No cost. We had some drinks, some appetizers. Yeah, we didn't really eat much. I think one or two couples had some dinner, you know. But, you know, we got to hang out. There was roughly about... Maybe eight couples. Eight couples altogether. Eight couples altogether. Some just stopping by to say happy birthday to the birthday girl Y, we'll say her name is. Not Y, as in why were they stopping. As in X, Y, Z. As in X, Y, Z. Z. She is Y. And her husband, Jay. A lot of J's in the lifestyle. But she, it was her birthday. And after a while, it was like, all right, those of you that want to, you can come with us back to the hotel. They had a room and some of the other couples had rooms. And it was funny because first we get there and we had the birthday cake, which was a carrot cake, if I remember correctly. We had that and toasted her with some champagne. It was all well and nice. And everybody's like, all right. Most folks went off to go get changed into something sexier. And we went into their room because, I forget why we went to their room. Well, we didn't, so I guess to back up, so we couldn't, it was. We couldn't stay. We couldn't stay overnight. It wasn't that far. It was like, I think an hour and a half drive. It was an hour and a half drive, yeah. Something like that. But we couldn't stay. But we couldn't stay. We had to come back home. So, you know, we didn't have our own room to go to. or anything like that. So that's probably why we just went. No, but we were in one room and then we went over to their room and then the whole party went there. And it was funny because they had a Jenga set with, you know, little sexy, suggestive things to do as you pulled out each Jenga chain. And the idea was we were going to use that as sort of the icebreaker to get everybody going. But everybody had gone off to go to their respective rooms to get changed into sexy clothing. So it was just us and. And the birthday couple at first. Yeah. And you and I were just sitting there on the couch. And that's when it was like, I guess, why couldn't wait any longer? Because she came over to you. Yeah, she got changed. She got changed. Yeah, she got changed. But like, she couldn't wait for the others because it was taking a while. And I guess she didn't want to play the game or whatever. I don't know, because... Well, Y and I started to play with each other. Started making out first, which was very sexy. Yes. She's very beautiful. She was a beautiful woman. Very beautiful woman. And that kind of got everybody else, like people who started coming back into the room, walked in and that was like the first thing they saw was her and I kind of playing. Yes. And then that got people worked up and then, you know, more things started happening and more people started getting involved. Right, right. And you kind of came over to, you know, she and I and you started kissing her. Yeah, we started making out. And I, you know, it's funny, she asked you. She asked me if it was okay, which I, I really appreciated it. I said, absolutely. Yep. And so we started making out while you were kind of going down on her. Yeah. Yep. And while you were doing that, there's this other guy, male from one of the couples, D, we'll call him. Well, he comes, I feel hands on my hips. Well, that was the thing. He, he, cause he was like trying to figure out and both Y and I are kind of like, yeah, go ahead. Well, yeah. Cause I figured you wouldn't mind. You liked him. Yeah, no, I know. comes in, puts their hands on your hips. You have no idea who it is. So I turned around to look. Yeah. And he's like, is this okay? I'm like, you're right. And so he and I went, actually left you guys on the couch. We went into the, the other, cause it was like a suite. So like the hotel room was set up that had like the little, like, like seating area with the couch. And then on the other side were the two double beds. Right. So we went in there and then we started playing and had a really fun time with him. Yes. And I had a really fun time with her because she was... Yeah, I know. Yeah, you know. Well, it was kind of funny because after a while, I was kind of just chilling out in the main part of the room where the beds were. And I was just kind of sitting there. And Jay walks in from where he was with Y. And he just has this look on his face like, I don't know, shock almost. the more intense experiences I've ever had. And I said to her, I said, I think you broke my husband. Yeah. And she laughed. Yes. Because, yeah. I mean. Yeah. She put you through your paces. She put me through my paces. Well, Dee did the same for me. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he was. Yeah, but you weren't as shocked, shell-shocked as I was. I mean, I was shell-shocked. And so then. After that, Jay and I just kind of sat back, and we really didn't engage anymore because we knew that we were going to have to leave soon. Right. And everybody else was like, it became like a big cuddle puddle. With Y in the middle. With Y in the middle, and everybody just, you know, giving her special birthday kisses, I guess. Kisses, among other things. Among other things. And she was having a blast. She was. It would have been fun to have stayed longer and done more, but we knew we had to go. They were so kind. They were like, oh, you can stay in our room if you just, if you want. But we needed to be home for the morning. Yes, right. And so it was funny because as we were leaving, her husband was saying, I was, you know, so it was funny because, you know, we, we just, there were a couple of people who weren't involved in the cuddle bottle and one of them was her husband. And so we weren't going to go over and like start tapping people on the shoulder going, just want to say bye, we're leaving now. You know, they were all kind of busy. Yes. We went to the people who weren't involved, and we're like, okay, we've got to go, and we're not going to bother anybody. Could you just tell everybody that we said goodbye? And the husband starts kissing me, and kind of like, I think he took my hand. Did he? Yeah, I don't think, I think that he took my hand, and he put it on his cock, and I remember thinking, I remember saying, oh, you know, you're really trying to get me to stay, aren't you? And I would have loved to, but again, we had to go, so we said goodbye. But it was hot. It was a really hot night. It's a great group of people. Yes. Definitely, you know, enjoy hanging. I mean, we've hung out with them at Wicked Fun Club. A couple of times. A couple of times. But this is the first time we really engaged with them in that way. Yes, yes. Usually we just talked inside. Yes. So it was great. I mean, definitely would like to do that again sometime. Yes, definitely would. So I hope they feel the same. Hopefully. So that's our sexy story. That's our sexy story. Yes. So I think that's going to do it because we're almost... About what's coming up, right? Well, I was going to say, I think that's going to do it otherwise. I figured we'd talk about what's coming up. Right. Because we're almost at the restaurant where we're going to meet. And this is a couple we've known for a while. Now we've played. But we're just going to hang out. And that's the nice thing, too, about the lifestyle. You don't always have to meet up to play. No, you don't. Exactly. So let's see. What's coming up? So, this coming weekend, we're going to be at a hotel party in Fishkill. Right. Through Passion's Playhouse. Yes. Our friends there, they're doing that. If you go on SLS and look at the groups for Passion's Playhouse, you will find their listing there for it. They're still taking a few couples on, I believe, for that. So that's coming up there for us where we're attending. What else? We're thinking about heading down to Saints at the end of the month. Yeah. Finally. We're also going to go to the clothing optional beach on Sunday with actually a lot of the people from that group. Oh, we're from that group, yes. Yeah. Weather permitting. That'll be at Gunnison Beach there in New Jersey. If you've never been to Gunnison, you should check it out. And, you know, that's just going to be really hanging out at the beach. You can't do anything. You can't play on the beach. But, you know, it'll be a fun day to just kind of hang out naked and enjoy the nice, you know, the weather and the water and the sand and all that good stuff. Right. But we are talking about, though, finally getting down to Saints Northeast for their Labor Day weekend party. Have not been there yet, but we're looking forward to seeing DJ Ray Ray and Ghost Host because we haven't seen them since January. Yeah. It's the last time when AC closed. So that's coming up there. Then in September. We have Club for Play. Club for Play. We're going back to Club for Play, trying it out for the first time in almost two years. And again, I think we've mentioned this. It was just our bad experiences. We're hoping that the things we've learned since then, we can apply here and have ourselves a good time. We also know that a bunch of the folks from that same birthday party are going to be there. So that's a good thing. And then that finally brings us into October. And that's the big news. Wicked Fun Club is back. Wee! Yes, it is. They found a new venue, a new location to hold their events. And we're working with them on monthly parties. And our first party is going to be October 20th. I think that's it. It's the 20th or 22nd. Whatever that Saturday is. I believe it's the 20th. I forgot. We're doing a sweatpants and leggings party. Simple, but sexy. Come on. Gray sweatpants for the men. You know, us ladies love the gray sweatpants. on the men. Yes. Yep. And for the ladies, the leggings, nice and tight on your bodies. Shiny if you would prefer. I would prefer shiny, but it's not all about me. But any lady that wants to know why the leggings are so important, I will demonstrate to you. And you will thank me later if you wish. And you don't even have to take your pants off. Yeah. But yeah, that's going to be a big thing there. Head on over to WickedFunClub.com where you can find the information on ordering tickets. Steve, the owner, we're going to have him on the podcast soon to talk about the reopening and what's being planned and such. They're doing a deal with us where you don't have to get yourself a full membership. You only have to buy the ticket for the day and a one-day membership. And I'm telling you, if you do that very quickly, you'll bump it up to, you know, whether your preference is monthly, every three months or every year, you will do that because this place is It's going to be pretty exciting to have something once again in terms of a club club in Connecticut. Yes. So really looking forward to that there. So that's everything coming up in the next couple of months. Well I guess at the end of October we're going to be doing the IPG thing. Oh that's right. We've also got the IPG Halloween party at the end of October in Scranton. Two days there. Yep. That's going to be a lot of fun. I'm looking forward to seeing some friends of ours again. Yep. through IPG's other events, Silver & Spicy. Yep. Yeah. So anyway, we are actually have quite a busy schedule over the last couple of months. Yeah. Or over the next couple of months. Next couple of months. So we will make sure to keep you all updated. We'll be sharing more. Sexy stories. Sexy stories. And not sure what we're going to talk about next time. We'll think about it. We'll think about it. Yeah. If anybody has a topic you'd like us to cover on the podcast, you could also suggest that as well. Exactly. Yeah. Again, write us. jnsexplorers at gmail.com or visit us over on SLS or at SDC and you can leave in our forums there you can leave comments as well as to topic suggestions. All right so let's wrap this up by saying once again I'm Jay. I'm S. And we're always saying keep swinging. www.microsoft.com Thank you for listening, you sexy people. If you have questions, comments or topic suggestions, you can email us at jnsexplorers at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you. This has been a My Secret Seduction production.