Hey Sexy Friends, In this episode of Swinging Downunder D and I answer some mailbag questions received from our listeners (thank you to our friends who sent them in), we talk about swinger styles, dating couples that know we’re podcasters and how to navigate open marriages. Mentioned in this episode Swinger Diaries Paige and Penn-… Read more
Transcript
Hi there, my name is C. I'm Dee and you're listening to Swinging Down Under. Our journey is a couple through the swinging lifestyle. Are you into open relationships or exploring new things in life? This is our podcast. Experiences, both good and bad, reviews and events and more here's Swinging Down Under. Come on. Join us. G'day and welcome to the Swinging Down Under podcast. This is C. He is not allowed to speak. Today we are going to be answering some mailbag questions.
How many podcasts have we done? We've done up your butt podcast. That's what we've done. Up your butt. That's good, nobody cares. That's some silence that deserves not to be edited out. Let's just get on with it because I think we've done the C&D things enough. I think people have probably... So in episode 63, we're actually going to be doing some... Holy shit, are you engaging right now? Yeah. Wow. We're actually going to be doing some... Holy shit, are you engaging right now? Yeah. Wow.
We're actually going to be doing some customer... Customer? Wow. It's a long week here. Well, I'd like to turn at least a few of them into customers, I think. Oh, like bedroom customers? Like customers. I get what you're saying there. It's lame, but I get it. Okay. I'm trying to take over your role of the lameness, but, you know, I'm just not as gifted. You're gifted. You're definitely gifted.
Okay, so this one came to us, and it is a question about the etiquette of playing with other lifestyle friends of friends.
So how do you go about, you know, you meet a couple, you're in the lifestyle together perhaps you've played with them you're pants on pants of friends and then their friends you happen to be interested in now do you just kind of approach them do you have to ask permission of the couple one permission that's the question you know how do you go about what is the etiquette of playing with friends of friends is their etiquette is their rules is their boundaries what's the question.
How do you go about what is the etiquette of playing with friends of friends? Is there etiquette? Is there rules? Is there boundaries? What's the go-to? How do you go about it? Is there requirements? I'm really interested in your opinion because I'm pretty sure it's going to be deeper than mine. I'm sure it is. Yeah. Shocker. See the shocked look on my face? Do you see that, Dee? I do. Do you see the fucking shocked look? So my opinion, which I'll give first. It's going to take two seconds.
Okay, go.
I don't think it matters because, frankly, if you're in the lifestyle and you've met a couple through the lifestyle, then there's a fair chance that they're interested in the lifestyle, but i've actually already clarified that point they're both swinger couples yeah but then i mean it's not like unless you're in a polyamorous monogamous polyamorous i don't know what that what is that there's i'm sure there's a yeah i was actually i was actually thinking about this term the other day because we have we know people that are polyamorous but kind of monog polyamorous with maybe like one couple.
Only with other couples. Or we've met people that maybe like the lady is polyamorous but the guy is a swinger or vice versa. Yeah, there's just so much. I mean, the spectrum is so wide these days. We are getting off the question topic.
Yeah, we're not going to make up a name for any of those um so you don't think there's any etiquette you don't have to ask couple one if you know how do they feel about you playing with couple two well and more fairly i think if the couple one gets their nose out of joint about you hooking up with couple two then there might be an indication of the fact that they're probably a little too precious about their relationship with couple one. Yeah, that's what I was going to say to you.
I think there is an element or could be an element of couples being a little bit protective. Couple jealousy.
Yeah, of the fact that maybe you find second couple more interesting than first couple and i'm not going to lie it's happened to us we have met people and we've met their friends and we've found that we get along better and we find their friends more attractive better suited to us perhaps than the first couple yeah but that's that doesn't mean that's the game of life but that doesn't mean you i mean for us we've still been with the first couple again after that you No, it's not that that means that you're less interested in them.
It just means that somebody else might be a better fit. I mean, to me, it's like friends.
You know, you've got friends who you have in your life who aren't a perfect fit for your life, and then you've got other friends who are a perfect fit, but you still may hang out with them both even at the same time which brings up another topic wink wink nudge nudge say no more man the eyeballs i am copying this evening it's uh it's really quite impressive it's gonna okay so no we don't believe both of us i guess have unanimously agreed that permission does not both of us yes we have permission is not required um we're all adults and we're in the lifestyle to have secondary and third and fourth relationships so as long as you're looking after your primary you know and making sure that that's the best option for your relationship then you know those those other relationships i guess you just kind of go with the flow well that's not how i would have said it but yeah that how would you have said it d i would have just said look life is about open relationships especially given we're in the lifestyle it's about open relationships with more than one set of people so that being the case why would anybody ever seek to limit that of their friends slash play partners so the next We'll be right back.
one set of people so that being the case why would anybody ever seek to limit that of their friends slash play partners so the next question is about the age of a relationship before joining the lifestyle and i wrote these questions down two months ago and i've written them down in shorthand so this is working out really well i can help you out with that i think no this is the original question was is there a recommendation for an age of a relationship or maturity of a relationship before people might dip their toes in the lifestyle um i don't think there has been really in our experience i think the majority of people have been in a stable relationship for a longer period of time so possibly 10-ish years plus or at least five years plus but we also know people who went into the lifestyle from the very first date you know they were straight up lifestylers so it really depends on your relationship and how well you how well you can deal with that sort of thing well i think that's the point isn't it it's not about's about your ability.
It's about the maturity of the relationship. It's about your ability to understand each other's wants and progress those into then how that would fit into your relationship and what that looks like. Is it joining the lifestyle or is it perhaps role-playing? Is it monogamy? I'd like to say for one of the very few times ever I summed it up pretty well with the whole it's the maturity of the relationship, right?
Because the maturity of the relationship is not defined by how long you've been together. You may be in an absolute trusting relationship after the first three months. It just depends on your relationship.
It may take people years to generate that sort of trust, and that doesn't mean that their relationship is any better or worse months it just depends on your relationship it may take people years to generate that sort of trust and that doesn't mean that their relationship's any better or worse it just means that they've got a different relationship so i you know i one of the few times i gotta say i actually think i nailed it first thing out of my mouth yeah i mean it's actually as much of a surprise to me as it is to everybody else out there you included i mean i would agree yeah i would ask you to read some of these questions so you can engage but because i've written them shorthand that's going to be a failure on everybody's i'm happy to read them it'll be awesome all right the next question female before we're breezing through these this is going to be a quick podcast female performance issues so the perception of goal orientation with other lifestyle people in terms of a pressure to have an orgasm.
So this comes up from time to time. Obviously there is a lot of or has been a lot of discussion about men's performance, men's performance issues, just generally their stamina, all the rest of it.
But this question was devoted to uh female female performance issues or uh the the requirement or the perception of a requirement to have an orgasm or multiple orgasms what those orgasms would look like how quickly they are do you squirt do you not the whole the whole gambit and i have to say from my side i would agree is, I guess, a perception out there that females do have to orgasm. Hang on. Is that a self-perception or is that a... Well, this is what I'm getting to. This is my point. Yeah.
So, we are all aware that a lot of females are very front of mind when it comes to orgasming. You know, it's very...
Sometimes we have to be very connected and relaxed in our own mindset to be able to actually even come to an orgasm to begin with right so the and the more you think about it the less possibility that it's going to happen but at the same time you've got then some men who are very goal focused with the fact that you know they're finger banging you or pumping you or trying to get this orgasm out of you or trying to get you to squirt or whatever.
There's this whole stress in relation to female performance in the bedroom. And so is there, you know, is there a stigma on that in the lifestyle? Does it, you know, can a lady just openly say, hey, I had a great time.
That was really, you know, sexually amazing for me, or it felt know can a lady just openly say hey i had a great time that was really you know sexually amazing for me or it felt good or i'm excited or i'm having fun but perhaps i'm not going to orgasm you know is that is there a stigma against that i certainly don't have any reliance upon the lady to have an orgasm as by the same token i don't have to have an orgasm myself for it to be considered a good night a good night does not a night does not end as a good night just because the people in the group have come yeah that's your that's what you like right but do you think that there is out in the lifestyle just general generally speaking i think speaking for the if i want to take on the part of speaking for all mankind um oh god help us all which is this is only going to go badly this is this is yeah hate mail here it comes no i'm actually no i'm thinking bigger than that i'm thinking like world imploding yeah it could be that as well yeah the the real the realism i think is for the majority of men they understand certainly men in the lifestyle should be at least enough in tune with sex to understand that females depending on state of mind may not necessarily ever have an orgasm and forget state of mind i mean there's other things in there as well in terms of physical characteristics that may sometimes not prevent but certainly make more difficult without you understanding what those physical characteristics are.
So as a man in the lifestyle who doesn't necessarily get to have sex with the same woman as much as he does his wife or partner, long-term partner, you may not know the requirements even to get that woman off.
So that being the case, I think the majority of men in the lifestyle are at least aware of the fact that it may not happen and i urge every woman out there who has ever thought of it or has ever done it not to fake an orgasm because all you're doing is reinforcing the problem you know and if it is if it's seen as a problem then reinforcing it by continuing to do something that is not real i mean men don't come all the time men sometimes come very early men sometimes come after the first time their penis touches a vagina i mean the upside for that is that women generally have a fairly good understanding of if that's happened well okay so hold on so i want to touch on the whole fake orgasm thing in a second but going back to it if you're going to put a blanket response true or false do you think that generally in the lifestyle there's pressure on a woman to have an orgasm well i can't do true or false i'm just going to say no okay i'm going to say no if the pressure's applied it's self-applied my belief that's interesting um so going back to your comment just real quick about faking orgasms actually the swinger diaries podcast if anybody listens to page and pen they actually just did a live podcast from the poolside at desire riviera maya in mexico and they spoke one of their questions was about faking orgasms.
Have you faked an orgasm? Why? And what the percentage was? Now, every person, if I remember correctly from listening to that just last week, said that they had indeed. Every female or every person? No, because even Penn said he had faked an orgasm. To get out of that? To either progress things along or make the other person not feel so bad. So when I was listening to that, Dee, I thought the same thing. In my head I thought, well, why do we do that?
Why can't we just say either as a woman or as a man that I've had a great time, this feels fantastic, but I'm not going to come. Appeasement.
And nothing wrong with that but the point is i guess that the reason as you said people are faking it because they're trying to appease the other person but shouldn't we all just be adult enough to know that if somebody tells you for example if i tell a guy this feels great all the rest of it but hey you know d knows how to get me off we've been together for nine and a half years you know he does things a certain way that on the first or second engagement with you it's probably not going to happen you know isn't that the better way to go about it and wouldn't the other person be more receptive to that than perhaps just faking it yes absolutely but which one's the easier way out oh faking it for sure yes and there was there was an absolute agreement on the Swinger Diaries podcast about that fact.
So humans go for the easy way. It's the easier way to get out of it. Which is why ghosting is so prevalent as well because rather than having to tell somebody that you're not interested in them, it's just easier to say, I'm just going to vaporize, disappear into the smoke. Yeah, so it's just ease. I understand why it happens, but I wish it didn't. I do too. I mean, nobody wants to hurt anyone's feelings. I get that.
I get the reasons behind it, but at the same time, I think, yes, we are perpetuating it because, quite frankly, if a guy is really vigorous with his finger movements, and that may work for one woman out of 20, and then he comes to me and he's using the same very vigorous finger movements where it's going to be not so great for me, I feel like I should actually say something to that person to say, hey, look. Why wouldn't you? I would. That's what I'm saying. And I have. Unless it was anal.
I mean, you love good, figure vigorous finger movements anally, right? Shorty. Whatever you say. Yeah, so I think it's appropriate to voice that. And I don't think there's anything wrong with it. And I don't think there's anything wrong with saying I'm just not going to come tonight. No, not at all. I say it to you. Why would I not? So I say it to you. You're my primary. I care about you more than anyone else in the world. Why do you keep calling me your primary?
Because I have to say that, I don't know whether you realize this, but primary, secondary, tertiary is very much a poly. Well, I shouldn't say that. I don't know too many poly people, but I understand from the poly people I know and met that that means that you're in a poly relationship because I'm your primary partner, but you have secondary, tertiary. All right, let's back it up, man, my husband. My point is this.
If I can say to you, my husband, that I'm not going to come tonight, it's not going to happen, and I care about you the most more than anybody else, why would I not say to that other person? Because you also trust that I'm not going to judge you. Right. So the other concern as somebody who can't come is not only have I upset that person, but are they going to judge me for the fact that I'm not a complete human somehow because I can't come. Oh, I get that. Yeah.
We obviously live in very different ends of the spectrum here because I do not get that at all. No, I do. I do. Yeah.
No, I'd happily tell people if I'm not going to come have you ever faked it then to answer the swinging swinger diaries question i have faked it but it was a long time ago when i was younger and didn't understand what i do now i would never fake it now no way in hell i would just simply stop or simply continue because just because i'm not going to come doesn't mean that i'm not pleasuring somebody else. Sure. Or getting pleasure yourself. Yeah. Okay, cool. Let's move on.
So this is an interesting question. This has come up so many times recently when we've been interviewed and also I've noticed it coming up a lot on Swinger Lifestyle Chat and forum areas and it is.
Do lifestyle couples have more or less chance of staying together so it depends on how you read the statistics i suppose statistics are great like that you can always bend them to your will but there's not statistics for a global response for this no there's only statistics for generally north american response statistically in North America, the likelihood is lower if you're in a open relationship but that's not to say that that's i mean it's a statistic for starters so again depending on who's written the written the paper or whatever you end up with a true versus semi-true scenario i would say that people are just as likely to break up if they're in a in an open relationship i would say they're less that they they less often do break up though because they have the emotional ability to work through the problems that they have but you you would also i mean to be devil's advocate there you would also say that having a swinging lifestyle or having a non-monogamous relationship would also bring an element of risk potentially to your relationship that could cause you know some cracks in the concrete to kind of appear well i mean there's got to be cracks in the foundation first before that to be the case right you've got to and even in the rare occurrence i think when somebody finds somebody that they're better suited for for lack of a better word better suited and they end up sharing the rest of their life with that person one of the joys of being in this style of relationship is that you're here i mean i'm here to for you to have fun that's the reason i'm in this is not me having fun is actually at generally at the expense of you enjoying yourself so See you next time.
i mean i'm here to for you to have fun that's the reason i'm in this is not me having fun is actually at generally at the expense of you enjoying yourself so i think to get to this point where you are in an open relationship you've got to respect the fact that you want your partner to be happy and that sometimes doesn't necessarily mean that that partner is going to be with you yeah that's a fair point um i would say that i i agree with what you're saying i think that people are going to either remain together or separate from each other and that is the fate of that relationship regardless of whether or not they're in an open relationship or a monogamous relationship at the end of the day i think that that the the strength of that relationship is going to play out in any facet i don don't think that necessarily being in a lifestyle relationship is going to save that relationship.
In fact, like we said before, it may actually kind of bring some things to the forefront and actually create some problems with that relationship. It just depends on, I mean, this is an interesting question in that if you want to equate it to throwing a baby into the mix, you know, people sometimes regularly, unfortunately, decide that the best way to fix their relationship is to have children. And it adds a level of stress.
And it adds a whole new level of stress and new levels of problems as well to that.
And if you don't have the tools in terms of your communication, it's only only going to end one way and unfortunately in some instances and not all but certainly some people who go into a non-monogamous relationship or decide to open their relationship up can also be doing that for the wrong reasons in that they're trying to save a relationship when it's been somebody who perhaps has been a cheating partner or something like that and the other person has decided well the easiest way to fix this is just to open the relationship that's never going to work in my opinion because you've already set the you're setting the stones on a very poor foundation to start with yeah you're setting it on a foundation of kind of you know heartache and disaster no more on the like if you're, like, if you're going to go and do this, then it's going to be tit for tat, and then I'm going to go and do X, Y, Z.
Oh, did everybody hear the sound of a wine bottle screw cap getting broken? Don't do that. I've listened to podcasts recently where it's like glug, and it makes me, like, super frustrated. Why, because you want wine? No, because I'm sick of hearing it. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, well, I guess you'll have to edit this out later. Okay. So, moving on. When you're looking for potential partners, do you seek out someone similar or entirely different to your husband or wife or long-term partner, et cetera?
So, if you're looking for lifestyle... Yeah, I'm going to let you answer this question first because I feel I can be interviewed again. Yeah, because you... I mean, not again. I wasn't again, sorry. You're refusing to... You've been not reading any of these questions. I can read them out, but you told me that I couldn't. Make up your mind. I don't think it's either way. I don't think there's a black and white answer to this. I don't remember the question.
Do you seek out similar or very different partners for your lifestyle partners than your husband, wife, or long-term partner? Okay. So you answered the initial question. Now let me throw in a little extension question. Do you do those things when it's for your partner? So, for example... Yeah, do I look like... Do I look... When I'm out at a party... Yeah, do you look for a woman who's not like you or who is like you or what's... Just to turn it around a little bit.
Well, yeah, if I can answer the first question first. You already did, didn't you? No, not really. Okay, go again. I said I don't think there's a black and white... We can edit this out again. I don't think there's a black and white answer to this. By we, I mean you.
I think that you find someone who intrigues you in some way that person may have aspects similar to your partner or they may be completely different i don't think that there is a a particular kind of set of rules or requirements that you either seek out or don't see or or. And I think that would work the same for if I'm seeking perhaps a partner for D at a party.
You know, I don't necessarily find the person that looks the same as me in the room or would look entirely different than me in the room.
Do I find probably some personality traits that I think that would work well with what we both enjoy i.e authenticity humor etc yes well i mean if you're going to set me up with somebody i want it to be somebody i'm actually going to like well that's what i'm saying i want to poke in the eye mid-sex there's elements unless they're into that there's elements of the fact that yes i would seek out someone in that regard that's similar to me because i have some of those characteristics but you know am i kind of walking in there saying they have to be this height this weight because psychology says that you typically surround yourself with people who are like you in in all facets in height weight oh my god So now I'm like a bald man in my early 40s?
Is that what's going on? Well, now you say it like that, I mean, I didn't really want to bring it up. No, but so the reason I asked that question is because obviously C and I regularly don't share the same opinion. That's so true. You'll say to me like, oh, look at that lady. She's very attractive. And I'm like, no.
She no she's hideous no she's not at all exactly which is really guys as well i'll point out a guy like say look at him he looks amazing yeah that amazes me like oh my god i just vomited a little bit but i do it more for men for women i think yeah i'm really always and then i think sometimes i think to myself like what is going on with the varying women that you think are attractive? It surprises me sometimes.
I don't think that I have, like, a cookie-cutter mold fit sort of mentality when it comes to attractive women. No, I get that, but I'm saying, like, there's some women where I'm like, no, I don't want to see them with you and I don't want to engage with them.
Yeah,'s just because you're like a judgy bitch no i just that's not my type i don't find them attractive i know i'm kidding babe so i um so yeah i don't think i have that same mentality as you when it comes to certainly choosing women interestingly with guys i think i do have a guy that i'd have a preference for you to be with and not only is it of course all the gentlemanly things that i've that i've been through many times in the past and it for those of you who don't remember those go back to the 12 ways to get into see's pants which is somewhere in the 20s in terms of the podcast i uh i do have some traits that i like to see you with, and that's probably my interest rather than yours.
So that's something that's interesting is that I'm looking for somebody who's not necessarily like me to be with you. Yeah, but I think that comes down to what you visually like to see. Yes, absolutely. There's no other way to describe it, really, other than just some history.
If you look at porn, there's some certain things that i enjoy in terms of how porn's not laid out and not occupied but in certain certainly how some of the guys operate in porn that i would like to see with you so but i'm not going to delve into those because i don't want to give everybody you know my sexual fantasies because then there'll be people sending emails actually no i'm going to now so that i can get people to send emails and then we can like organize catch-ups and then i can see them with you uh moving along apparently not this one was a funny one actually this one does being swinger lifestyle podcasters affect either negatively or positively our ability to get laid well it depends on where we are i actually think that it negatively affects our ability to get laid i think it does most of the time yeah yeah because as soon as people hear that you're podcasters instantly they're like not no if they've heard of you like if they listen to if people listen to you i think in a lot of cases they a lot of people have said to us that they're very scared to approach us.
Oh, you're going from that angle. Certainly some of the people. So even if we look at Desire and, you know, there's a couple out there that I'll pull out and point at who organized, who came and accosted us at breakfast, I think it was. They know who they are or lunch. It was breakfast or lunch. And they were freaking out because they were so concerned that they should, maybe should they come and talk to us? Should they not come and talk to us?
Yeah, people are very concerned and have heard podcasters sometimes talk about some of their sexual exploits and i think that if people hear that you're a podcaster they might think oh I'm going to end up on the next episode and I don't want to end up on the next episode you know it's interesting I think as a majority of people who end up on our episodes as people that we actually had a good time with I don't think a lot of the time we exploit or sorry not exploit we delve into the the poor experiences we've had with somebody and when i say poor experiences i don't necessarily mean um uh the sexual side it might just be that we've got halfway in and we realized that they were twats and decided not to hang out with them anymore you know well i think most people most podcasters are pretty respectful of that yeah but that's my point i think but when when people hear it they might they might think gosh what happens if i do end up and i don't perform and then they're going to talk negatively only in the 1970s when they said gosh all the time uh so to answer the question i would say that it affects us probably negatively i think that people yes i agree with d maybe don't want to approach us secondarily i think that people then might have uh issues when we do if we do end up playing and then thirdly i think if they hear about us being podcasters that might also make them kind of feel a little bit concerned um and so for us just a a mention out there, when we do talk about people that we've played with on our podcast, we do it with their permission.
And let's say ghosted us and then fuck them. So, yeah, so we do it with their permission if we're actually going to talk to them on the podcast. No, I shouldn't have said that out loud. No, probably not. We're going to do it. Fuck them. We're going to edit it out later. And the next one. How did we get into an open marriage? What conversations did we have to get us to this point? Well, I mean, there's some old territory we're covering here.
Well, I guess when I read this question initially, I thought that maybe the people had interpreted us as perhaps playing separately because when you hear term and again this comes down to how you interpret these different terms if you talk about open marriage people generally think separate play do they i think so yeah i think we use the term i've never ever thought that well there you go like not ever this is the first i'm hearing of it in fact so you think it's completely all the same swinger lifestyle open marriage all three three the same yes okay when people generally tend to think about open marriage sometimes they do think about and it's an open marriage it is you can go off and play and it's whatever you choose to do but you're still married the final question comes from jay from that couple next door podcast i don't know whether you can answer this but actually i want you to i can totally answer it it's going to be funny unless it's a medical question and it is how do we manage to keep up with all our social media oh that's easy i can totally answer that i have absolutely zero involvement and c does fucking everything um we spend very little time on facebook oh fuck facebook yeah because we so that's that was going to be my response so my whoa whoa i was halfway through my answer here go for it go we don't spend any time on facebook and c does everything that's it that's me done yeah that's you done okay so so jay asked how we managed to keep up with all of our social media jay asked how we managed to keep up with all of our social media accounts.
And to be honest, I gave him a simple answer when he asked this to me on Kik, and it's that I don't use Facebook in my personal life. So when I see other people posting five, six times a day about their kids on Facebook, that's not me. I don't do that. Nope. She's on Twitter posting photos of herself, her dildos, and the photo of the person she shagged on the weekend. No? So, my point is this. If you put the energy into one thing, there's other people putting energy into something else.
Whereas the energy that I put towards this, I'm putting it in a different area, which is that I'm putting it in our social media. So, I mean, what you're saying there is you're adding to the or we're adding to the social media pollution of the world. We all put our energy into different areas and that's just a place that I put my energy into. I put mine into Finding Man Lingerie and I'm really fucking struggling. So, seriously, I'm throwing it out there again. It's four years, babe. I know.
I'm going to have to fucking give it up. I swear to God. Sorry just i need i need some laundry i need something to make me look good i'm getting into as he said a little earlier i'm you know middle 40s not middle early 40s early 40s and um you know i need something to make this this look better nothing's nothing's looking bad i don't. What do you think, Sue? Oh, see, Mesh. Oh, wow. That silence was fucking deafening. Did anybody else hear the crickets? Even the crickets were silent.
I can't say diet and exercise, no? Oh, the fuck. I mean, I'm thinking of mic dropping the other way. You know, like when I've been so devastated by it, I'm just going to mic drop and walk away. Okay. That's all the questions that we have for this evening. But excitingly, I had a massage the other night and so I decided to come up with the next like six episodes. Yeah. I mean, everybody else when they're having a massage is doing their best not to drool on the pillow and fall asleep.
But C is in her head discussing how the marketing should be played out. That's true. It's a history there, isn't it? We in comedy call that a callback. Yeah, it's a bit of a history with massages and me just kind of delving into some marketing strategies. Random shit, yeah. Okay, so, excitingly, the next few podcasts coming up. This time, no yeast infection, though. Excitingly, the next few, let's see how I just ignored you. Glancing over. The next few podcasts coming up.
The next one I'm excited about, it's going to be a pound. Don't announce them now because if we don't get around to fucking do them, people will be like, why the fuck is these podcasts that you said you were going to do? I think the listeners know by now that we are dodgy at best. I know, right? Well, certainly not. I'll do it. It's very, I think the most unlikely attendee is Dee. Whoa. Whoa, let's not say things on a podcast we can't take back. That's locked in stone. I'm not editing that out.
Oh, what? I'm actually not going to edit any of this. I'm just going to, what I'm going to do is I'm going to take this whole thing and post it as it is raw. I'll stab you. I'm going to raw dog. I'll stab you.
I'm going to raw dog the this i'm just going to what i'm going to do is i'm going to take this whole thing and post it as it is raw i'll stab you in a raw dog i'll stab you i'm going to raw dog the podcast in the jugular raw dog in the podcast do you have like a vip card like a little stamp card you know like a customer stamp card on i'm going to the hospital being by being the next one is going to be about the aussie swinging lifestyle and we are going to incorporate some of our recent visits to australia We had a sneaky visit off to Melbourne.
We've had two sneaky visits to Singapore. Sorry, we live in Singapore, to Sydney. Squidney. And in amongst that, we also had a pub crawl, and we're going to have a few of the people that attended the pub crawl to send us an audio, so it's going to be super exciting. Yep. You've managed to organize that? I've managed to fucking wrangle some people into that. Wrangled. Yeah, very true.
And then really the next one that we want to produce after that, and we're going to try and get these out pretty quick, I'm going to talk to Dee about how to discuss and navigate the potential for solo play. Ooh. And we're going to do that live. Really? So what's the back end of that? So we're not going to talk about it until the podcast. Okay.
Where we, what back end of that so so we're not going to talk we're not going to talk about until the podcast okay where we what i want to do is we both have to attend we have come up to the podcast with some thoughts in our mind about thoughts in our mind i'm not allowed to write them down you can write them down my mind's very small and frankly it is out space. Some thoughts about solo play. So that's one of the upcoming podcasts. Really excited to share that with you.
We are going to do that and we're going to speak about it on the podcast. It's going to be epically good or epically bad. So what you'll hear is us not negotiating but us actually... Discussing. Very raw. I concur. Yeah. Yeah.
So looking forward to that one um it'll be an interesting discussion i'm i mean and whether so just you know looking up the skirt whether we whether we decide to go ahead with that or not that's really the end game out of this that's the end game so the end the discussion topic is to talk about we are going to talk about the possibility of solo play, and by the end of the podcast, after having discussed it with you all live pretty much, very raw, then at the end of that we're going to then make a decision on whether or not we will actually go down that path.
Ooh, this is like some serious drama shit. Yes. This is like people peeking into our lives. Yep, for sure. So if you guys are thinking about perhaps looking at that or asking yourselves the question on how you would even begin to discuss that, then we're going to do that for you. Well, certainly. We may have an argument or we may… It may be a three-day podcast. It may be. Don't worry.
We'll keep all the silence in the middle as well okay you know when we're not talking to each other two more segments real quick oh what what we were at the end no we're not at the end i've got two more segments okay so i love your segments we're in the world of cnd at the moment we have an upcoming trip to i've got an upcoming trip to the states you've just come back from the philippines like just come back from the Philippines like today. Yeah, that doesn't mean anything.
Yeah, like an hour ago. Yeah, like an hour ago. That doesn't mean anything. So she was in the Philippines for the last three days. I have an upcoming trip to Philadelphia in April, but after that we're going to Bali in May. Very excited about that. That is actually heading over to Bali with the Blaze, our friends from Sydney.
And then we're looking at hosting a pub crawl perhaps in perth at some point in time are we yeah oh that's news to me so keep in touch on that one we'll we're also going to brisbane at some point we're also going to brisbane at some point as well but where are we so i'm next week i'm actually at home we're both at home next week. I know. It's so good. It's fucking crazy. Like, what? Week after that, I shall be in Thailand. I'll be in... Bangkok.
Well, not only Bangkok, but yes, certainly Bangkok. Cool. Yeah. And the week after that, I shall be in the Philippines. And the week after that, I'll be in Australia, I think. Yeah. So, that's where D is. Yay. All right. Okay, so D, I have decided that we have a new segment on our podcast. Is it called How Much Pain We Can Put C Into? No, that's actually the next upcoming segment. Okay. This segment is called Social Media Buzz. Oh, Social Media Buzz.
Which also ties into the next segment with two z's or six z's that's about seven z's okay yeah or z's babe people do say z's though right i'm only americans yeah it's really odd okay so what we're doing is picking something that catches our eye in social media so by our eye you, you mean your eye because I never look at social media. Correct.
So throughout the days and weeks between our podcasts, I am on social media and sometimes articles or conversations from other podcasts kind of, you know, pique my interest. And this one I thought was quite interesting.
Now, the reason I picked this one was because actually it came up multiple times in the last two weeks it came up on a podcast have you ever heard of a podcast called american sex podcast d yes they are it's actually hosted by sunny megatron okay so we know who the hosts are and they interviewed a lady called joan price about uh pussy and generally ladies who are trying to strengthen their vagina you know there's uh lots of different things out there. There's pussy eggs.
Have you heard about the pussy eggs and the weights? No. No? So they go on to describe how women are keeping these weights in their body, sometimes even overnight, to try and essentially strengthen the muscles inside their vagina and therefore strengthen the tightness of the vagina.
So this quite it's quite prevalent in the media at the moment lots of people are talking about this and then i stumbled upon a number of different social media posts and there was one that kind of well i'm going to say it shocked me did it shock you given i haven't read it no okay so i did show it to you actually i sent it to you in a text because i was like this is cray cray so the uh the subject line of the forum post says smiley face looking for a normal size pussy this one talks about the fact that they're a couple he's saying that his partner is uh of asian descent and that is quite tiny in size he gives her description of kilograms and height waist etc he talks about who he is caucasian male and does the same description for who he is and what he's basically going on to say here is that he's looking for ladies with pussies that are normal size he's saying that they notice that a lot of girls are looking for maybe cocks now two and three cocks definitely that are inches bigger than the normal guy or two or three cocks at the same time and so basically he's suggesting that so concluding that they must have then a larger than average size pussy and in some positions the particular lady finds it painful and that basically he's looking after a normal size woman with a normal size cervix when you hear that d knowing that you have a cock and can add some value here what do you think about that what value can i add here i'm sorry i'm a little confused given that i just think this person is a fucking idiot okay well value in the sense that a lot of women do think about this, a lot of women do talk about it, and it is generally a concern of some women.
It's something that they think, what if I am not as tight as the next woman or what if I have had children and the next woman hasn't or I'm older and the other woman's younger, et cetera, et cetera. It's something that women think about a lot, and so your perspective...
So let me throw this given that if you look at some of the some of the modern movies and you know something well not modern but think of american pie where a dude will happily fuck a warm apple pie thinking that that's something like a vagina do we really think that there's any difference to your average guy this guy's just being a twat for the sake of being a twat well no but what i'm asking you to do is to put some of those concerns from those ladies that misunderstanding or shouldn't be thinking the way that they're thinking no it's just that you're inserting something that is not the most sensitive of tools into something that is a lot more sensitive by the sound of things the male penis realistically the head is about the only thing that's of any sort of sensitivity anything below that it really doesn't there's really not a lot of sensation to it so with that in mind the idea that men could tell the difference between a tight pussy and a loose pussy is just fucking ludicrous well that's what i'm trying to get to i'm trying to empower trying to empower women out there who have a misunderstanding of this whole...
But the misunderstanding is that for some reason there's this idyllic pussy. Right, and there's not. Can I say, a pussy that had cut the circulation off to my cock would not be a fucking ideal pussy. I'm not looking for a cock ring. Right, so to the women out there, you would say what? I would say relax. Your pussy is the pussy that God gave you. Even post-childbirth, we've been with women as well who've been post-childbirth, and the difference is really unmeasurable by penis measurement.
So I would say just stop worrying about it i mean it's not a thing it's not a concern to just about every normal man out there if there's men out there that are saying things like this guy's saying i mean they're just being foolish well that's what i was going to say so you you get to talk to the ladies out there and i'm going to take a pause and talk to the men if you are out there trying to perpetuate this misunderstanding or misguided opinion about the size of a lady's vagina i mean you should just be counting yourselves lucky that you have a vagina to play with in the first place correct i'm going to say that the guys who have this sort of opinion probably don't see a lot of vaginas.
And yeah, so the point is that yes, this is something that pops up from time to time. Yes, probably women do, and I have. I mean, I've thought many times about the size, the look, the feel, the shape, the smell, the taste, et cetera, of my pussy.
It's, I think, pretty think pretty natural to think you know how are you in comparison to other other women i think everybody goes through that you know how are you in comparison to other men for example i guess the the takeaway from this is that everybody's different there is no average there is no perfect there is no right size wrong size right shape wrong shape i mean to my knowledge there's no measurement that's ever been done on the depth or or width of a vagina at a level at a statistically relevant level to actually give any sort of indication that there is even a fucking difference correct yeah it's not exactly like your your cervix is being measured as you enter a party and they're deciding whether or not you're why would you be measuring a cervix which is an entirely different well this is what this gentleman was saying yeah but he obviously doesn't know anatomy either i mean a cervix is a totally you're talking about a vagina and a cervix two totally different body parts i get that but he's saying that talking about their fucking nasal cavity if you have something um If you have a cervix above a different size, he's basically saying that you're going to hospitalise...
Wait, she would be hospitalised if a man has too big of a penis. Now, that is not to say that we haven't played with women who have, I guess, perhaps not been as maybe aroused. I don't know how you would say it, but we've played with women where they've said to you that's uncomfortable, right? Yeah, but the comfort has nothing at all to do with the size of your vagina. It's got to do with the elasticity of your vagina. Rightio.
So if you haven't heard American Sex Podcast, I would highly recommend them. They're quite good. They're quite funny.
They actually interviewed a lady from alice little so she is a sex worker from the bunny ranch recently as well which is of course the only legalized location which is in nevada in america that has legalized sex workers but that's also another interesting podcast if you haven't yet heard that but this one in particular with miss joan price really um piqued my interest they talk a lot about sex sex aging etc and i thought it was quite quite great so the next section which is actually this is this is just for this podcast this is not an ongoing section but if you do follow our twitter twitter account swing down under you'll notice that the other day Dee decided that he was going to buy an at-home laser hair removal.
Now, Dee, can you just share for the audience what was going through your head when you decided that you wanted to wield a laser? What was going through my head exactly was the fact that C asked me to purchase it. That was kind of what went through my head. No, I said let's go get laser done. We've both had laser done back in Australia. There are varying types of laser options. There's IPL, which is generally the cheapest. Which is not a laser. Yeah, it's not actually a laser.
IPL stands for intense pulse light, in fact. And it's also not permanent. It is permanent for the right people. For the right people. Okay, sure. For a fair-haired person, it doesn't really work. So we have both been to proper plastic surgery facilities where they do offer a particular kind of laser that does actually remove the hair follicles, burns the hair follicles.
But what we have today thing called tria beauty t-r-i-a now we've had a lot of people on twitter ask us to review this now of course that is going to take some time right how many how many sessions does this particular one recommend you have well they all recommend you have the amount of sessions that's required to remove the hair this one has a spacing of like every other laser hair removal requirement there's a spacing of a minimum of six weeks between sessions because that's your hair growth cycle most people probably understand this by now but your hair goes through three cycles of growth and only one of them does any sort of hair removal work on.
Laser hair removal, I should say. Right, and what they do recommend if you do go to somewhere professional is that you keep it trimmed, not shaved, not long for the session. That's generally what they've recommended to me in the past. Sometimes they do offer you some numbing gel too. It's not numbing gel. It's actually just cooling gel. Cooling gel, is it?
It hasn't hasn't actually worked on me it doesn't that's because it doesn't numb i put a whole tube of that stuff down there and didn't work doesn't numb yeah yeah it just cools so what we thought we'd do is yes we are going to talk to you guys you know in a couple of months about whether or not we think this has actually worked uh and and really make any recommendations to it That is, of course, so you can get through one session. It's a handheld device.
Do you roughly how much did it cost online? I don't think it's a fair discussion given that you can buy it in the U.S. for about $390. Okay, so about $400 if you live in the United States. If you live in the U.S. A little bit more than that. Okay, so what we're going to do now... But is the only laser device actually available? Is it? It's the only FDA-approved at-home laser device. Wow. Everything else is IPL. There is no black market. Oh, just checking. You never know.
Well, you can buy an industrial laser or Fali Express. That'll do the job. Generally, what that might also do is burn your entire skin off. Okay, and for everybody at home listening, why do we buy this? We bought this because we are going to actually laser each other. So D will be lasering me in the coming months, and I will be lasering D in the coming months. So this may cause some arguments, this may cause us to get a divorce. Who knows? The world is open. Joking, I'm joking.
Don't give me the frowny eyes. Well, I mean the D word. We're only technically married. Well, exactly. So, you can zap a few of my hairs now. Yeah. So I think I've had what? I've had three sessions probably years ago. Yeah, but you were chock full of pussy back then as well. I'm still chock full of pussy right now. Yeah, there's going to be some squealing, no doubt whatsoever. So I'm going to keep the microphone on my person. Dee is going to zap me right now.
So, yeah, this is what it feels like. So basically he's turning it on. After you turn it on, you have to check the skin tone to make sure that the skin tone is matching you so that I get... Does that automatically assume what kind of temperature it sets on? Okay, so once you turn it on, you do have to check the skin tone and that then tells you whether or not... Ah! Jesus Christ! Can you just let me warm up? Ah! Stop! For a second! Okay, so he just did three.
He just did three hairs in random places can you like maybe just try to do it like across the across the way all righty yep that's a good one yep felt that and so you're supposed to just basically sit there and just go across and just keep making your way across and in the background you can hear that buzzing and that is actually the the laser working oh god damn it um working on uh burning the hair follicle so basically what it does is it goes down into the hair follicle and it jesus christ and it burns the hair follicle so that the hair follicle stops growing that's now.
How long do you think this will take? Just out of curiosity, per session here, what's your expectation on doing the whole Brazilian going down and to the sides? Like, what's, oh, that's going to hurt later. What's your, what do you think? How long would it take? We're about one tenth of the way through at the moment, I'm going to say. Yes, but how, like, what is that? He was supposed to distract me. It hurts, it hurts, people. It hurts. So, we do have this set to the highest power standard.
Oh, yeah, so you can set it at different levels. And how long does it last for a charge-wise, are you aware? We've gone through some testing, and we did this small amount of laser on the vagina that everybody just heard, and we've gone through a third of the battery.
This is going to be really he's uh he's venturing down south right now and um what i would recommend is that maybe just don't have any breakables by the by your person um at the point in time that you are doing the laser um you know maybe just don't do it by any kind of glass services or um you know uh antique collectibles because ah don't go down there don't do it, buy any kind of glass services or, you know, antique collectibles because, ah, don't go down there, don't do it.
Well, that's swinging down under. Thank you for listening, everyone. We hope you found that session useful. Thank you. This is C. And this is D. And this is D. And I hate podcasting. And this is Shrinking Down Under. I hate it.
