Send us Fan MailThe Swing Nation PodcastLifestyle Education: Lifestyle Terms | Episode 34 In this swinger podcast episode, Dan and Lacy break down the language of the lifestyle. They go over the common terms and definitions you often hear when speaking to pineapple people. This episode is a must to listen to if you are just beginning your lifestyle journey! Swinger Glossary _______________- The Swing Nation -Main WebsiteQuick Navigation Website: -- (Find all our social media links more!)Follow us on Facebook!The Podcast Website_______________ - Swinger Society -Our Website to meet, connect eventsSwinger Society DiscordOur Facebook Group_______________ - Swinger Websites -SDCUsername: TheSwingNation** Use code 36313 for 14 days free! **SLSUsername: NorthernGuynSouthernGirl_______________ - Merch More -The Swing Nation MerchThe Swinger Pride FlagsSwinger Society Merch_______________ - Lacy’s Fun Links -VIP OnlyFansPREMIUM OnlyFans_______________ -- THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS --Shameless Care: ED Medication and at home STD testingUse Code TSN at checkout for $30 off your order!Promescent® Make Love Longer, It’s Time for Great SexUse Code SwingNation for 5% off!Pinaq Liqueur; The Official Drink of The Swing NationUse Code TSN at checkout for 15% off!Non-monogamy Couples Course and Single Guy Mastery CourseUse Code ATLANTA for 50% off!- Thank you for the support! -
Transcript
This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice.
welcome to the swing nation, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle.
Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe, interview the experts, learn and grow together join the nation welcome to the swing nation podcast we are your hosts northern guy and southern girl and in today's episode we're going to talk a little bit about terms and definitions yeah we get asked all the time what certain words mean and association to the lifestyle so we thought we would do an entire episode and just kind of explain them all so people ask you questions about that yeah all the time like what's a unicorn i get that probably 10 times a day yeah unicorn bowl yeah vanilla vanilla i get vanilla a lot yeah those are we get those all the time yeah so i thought this episode would be really really good so we can say hey go listen to episode this and you can get all the information because a lot of people that are newer in the lifestyle or just joining maybe they don't know if they want to be in the lifestyle they come to our podcast and listen to it and i thought maybe this could help them could help them yeah with terminology yeah that's specific to the lifestyle who knew you had to you had to like educate yourself before getting the lifestyle i know there's there's a lot to learn though there really is i mean do people jump into the lifestyle and just hook up with a couple and it works out in the end yeah but if you can really educate yourself and learn how to do it properly, I think it's probably going to be a lot better.
A lot better. I don't know. Is there a properly though? Is there really? Like it's. You can never prepare yourself until, you know, like. Well, and it's so different for everybody. I think that's the other part. Yeah.
But we're going to try to we're gonna teach you some terms they're pretty universal yeah um i think so we're using swing fields um which is swingfields.co.uk if you want to follow along with us when you google it it's one of the first um it's like swinging glossary it's one of the first ones that pull up and we've kind of referenced this a few times and found that it's really a better one to to Thank you.
like swinging glossary it's one of the first ones that pull up and we've kind of referenced this a few times and found that it's really a better one to to use we're going to kind of veer off on some of these and add our own terms and things into it but we're just gonna yeah there's a few that i think we could talk about that are on here but this is a pretty good yeah it's a pretty good starting place if you're looking for a reference um this is a pretty good one. Yeah, we can add a few.
All right. First one. You ready? Can we do a whole episode on swinger terms? I think we can. Maybe we'll manage. Yeah. We'll see how it goes. So the first one is the lifestyle. Do you want to read what it says? I'll read it. The lifestyle is a term that was first used in the 1970s and is basically a modern version of the term swingers. However, most people in the lifestyle feel it is more encompassing than just swinging. It includes people that are sexually open-minded in general.
I totally agree with that last sentence. Well, yeah.
Because I think you can be in the lifestyle and maybe not be a swinger i guess my question is what if you're into kink or bdsm are you in the lifestyle i think so what do you think is it the same lifestyle or is it different lifestyles i mean i think they i think there's an umbrella i think like being sexually open you know i think we all fall under that and then there's like subcategories yeah but i think just being open to explore that so is the lifestyle to you is the umbrella term the lifestyle and then the the subcategories would be swinging bdsm or kink yeah and then you know maybe some others yeah what do you think i i think that's true and it's funny because i think the funny thing about the lifestyles i think you're never you can ask any swinger what the lifestyle means or what what's the difference between a swinger and somebody in the lifestyle and i think you'll get a different answer from everybody yeah i think you're right i think to me a swinger is somebody that just hooks up with other.
I think someone in the lifestyle kind of immerses themselves in it. So they're drinking the Kool-Aid. They're all in. They've got the pineapples. They hang out with their swinger friends in vanilla settings, which we'll talk about vanilla, in normal everyday settings.
I think their swinger life and their normal life are very intertwined right that's how i feel so it's and i think i don't know if that's correct no no but that's just how i feel i think you're right i think well one i think it's just to say the lifestyle i think that is a very all-encompassing terms i think you can be in the lifestyle but not necessarily fully emerged in the lifestyle you know i mean i think there's probably levels to that right um but i will say when we first started this i used to kind of say like well it's swinging is like a hobby for us we're not it's not it's not a lifestyle it's not we're like this isn't our life it's like yeah it's a lifestyle you know i mean so like i don't know how you i think obviously i think we're way more invested now well clearly than we were like two years ago yeah but what do you think but at the same time like let's say husband and wife have two small children and they can't get away but maybe once every two months they will you know slip away for a weekend and have a naughty hot weekend um but then have to come home and be you know your normal everyday couple um i still think that they i don't think they're any less a lifestyle person than we are right and i guess that's where you know we're swinger in lifestyle are kind of interchangeable at that point then right you don't necessarily you know i don't think there is a threshold where it's like oh you're a swinger up to this point and then once you cross this line well now you're in the lifestyle yeah no i don't think there is either now i do think there are a lot of people that kind of use it that way right we're like oh well if you only show up to an event once in a while you're just a swinger where you know us we're in the lifestyle you know yeah we're more invested yeah and i do also want to point out like when you talk about like bdsm and kink i do think that they go very like hand in hand with swingers because if you go to almost any swinger club they're gonna have some form of bdsm room some sort of like they very much go together right so i do think that they're under that lifestyle yeah and i mean i think you could even expand you could add lgbtq stuff to that you could i mean any alternative where it's not viewed as mainstream yeah you know monogamous plain old you know relationship i think you could you could make an argument that they're part of the lifestyle whether you know or a lifestyle so maybe that's what the lifestyle is it's just an alternative yeah maybe not mainstream yeah yeah okay that's it for anything else on lifestyle i think that's it yeah and i again i think that's it's hard to really define a definition because i think it is different for different people.
Yeah, I think it's how you interpret that. Okay. So, up next is full swap, which that's what we are. We're a full swap couple. Right. Full swap is generally when a couple fully swaps partners, including intercourse. Right. I always explain it as every penetration. Right. Sorry.
I have to kind of be careful because we're alive but that's that's how i describe full swap yes yeah i think i think if you to be a full swap couple that means you're going all the way with another couple yeah um now it does get interesting you know um so we're going to talk soft swap here in in a second and i almost think we should talk about these at the same time so let me go ahead yeah let me read soft swap soft swap is when couples exchange partner but do not have intercourse generally it is limited to swapping orally and or heavy petting right so in my opinion everything but intercourse right yeah yeah so but i guess to caveat that a little bit is you can be a full swap couple but still have limitations on what you do right correct um so maybe you don't do um anal right yeah maybe you don't do you know there's you can still have you can be a full swap just because you're full swap does not mean it's like an open door and you can do whatever right yeah you can still have boundaries and set that up yeah um and also there's one that's not on here but i want to add that parallel play especially for couples that are new i don't have the actual definition but parallel play is where you have one couple on one bed and the other couple on the other.
And you both play with your spouse in the same room. Right. So that way it's still a little kinky. It's still a little hot. But you're not swapping. It's kind of like a first step. Right. Then you go to soft swab and then you go to full swab.
Yeah i don't know what would you if you just it wouldn't necessarily be parallel play but if what if you just play in an open setting where people can watch you what would you is there a term for that i don't know i mean it's you know exhibitionist i guess would be the best term yeah because to be honest with you that's one of dan and i's kings like we're it's not uncommon for us to go to a club that we don't know anybody at.
And you and I just are intimate in a room where lots of people can watch us. And that is super hot for us. I don't know that exhibitionists would have to be that.
But as far as in the swinging world, that would be that that definition would come in but that's another form so like if you're not ready to soft swap or full swap is to just play with your partner and let other people watch them watch you yeah no 100 100 uh so yeah really i mean i you know they have two levels so we're saying there's kind. There's you play where people can see you. You play maybe on the same bed or in the same area is another couple.
And then soft swap where you're actually doing some type of touching. You are actually swapping. Some type of touching. And then full swap is everything up to and including their course. Yeah. Yeah. No, I think that's good.
that i think that's all yeah and now i will say i guess the only other comment i would have is uh we've kind of been full swap since right out the gate because we were both singles in the lifestyle yeah we kind of were like when we got together we're like yeah that's what we're going to be we're going to be a full swap couple um we've in in in some ways i think we were were like we only want other full swap couples right that's all we want to do uh obviously we do enjoy the the exhibitionist part but we when we look for couples we kind of if they were soft swap couple i think we would kind of like yeah we wouldn't brush them aside yeah now i will say we've had a few experiences with soft swap couples or it's really new couples that you know weren't quite ready to full swap but uh that's a very very you know if you are a full swap couple i would not um turn down an opportunity especially if you're really into the people right like so we were really into the people that we soft swap with hey jersey so like we really really wanted them and so to me it's like almost like a cat and mouse um i mean what is the term i'm looking for like the thrill of it you know like you want more but you're not getting yeah the build up like we still haven't full swapped with them and like we really want to yeah yeah i agree i agree all right so we're moving on to the next one and this one says gg or girl girl um and this just says girl girl play is where just the women play and the men watch and or join but with just their partners and do not have any interaction with the other people and i guess this is a almost like a fifth level of of swapping right yeah um i know a lot of times um that can be an ice breaker too so if you are swapping with a couple that maybe you haven't swapped before a lot of times the girls will start the men will kind of watch get you know a little bit worked up and then we'll join um so that's definitely something that can be hot um you know and also yeah like you're saying if you're not ready to full swap you know but your wife or is bisexual and is interested in this this could be a really really hot thing to do because then you know you as the husband you've watched your wife do this and now you're going to take her back to your hotel room and make sweet love to her and you're all turned on and so it definitely can be hot yeah and there i think there are couples that stay there though that they only swap the wives play with each other that's it ever you know uh so that you know i don't think it's something we've encountered a lot of but i think i have you know when you're reading through profiles they say you know just looking for wives to play something like that um and again i think that's a lot of newer couples break like you're saying break the ice with that yeah it is very common in a in a situation where you do lead up to a full swap where you kind of start with that um i think that like the good thing to like learn from this definition is whatever you want don't be afraid to say that you know like it might be a little bit harder to find exactly what you want if you're being you know very specific about something but if you don't if that's what you want if your wife just wants to be with another woman you know maybe she's never been able to do that like or if you just want a soft swap or whatever the case may be just be honest and put these because like on swinger profile all of these terms that we're saying they give you those options to choose so you you basically explain what you are and so these terms kind of help you fill out that i don't know if you call it like a profile basically yeah now something on this why is there no mm or male male um because swingers are not the most bi male friendly yeah right so in i guess i would say there's probably not there probably are couples out there that are interested in that i've i don't you know again we've been doing this what seven eight years i've never heard of a couple that were just the males play yeah so just overall i think that bi males get a little bit of a bad rap and swinging if there's anything that i wish that we could fix or or bring to light would be by males because i think what happens is a lot of couples either he hasn't expressed it to his wife or maybe they're not comfortable sharing it together i don't know what the case may be but they don't communicate that the husband's bi they say that he's strained and then come to find out after you've been talking to the couple that the male is bisexual um and so that tends to happen more um so like when we see on tiktok or if we listen to podcasts or anything like that that have an openly bi male we're always like very encouraging of it i mean there should be more out there so more men can see that you can be a bi male and be okay but like just like you said there should be a male male right and the only reason i point that out because this glossary doesn't even address that.
And what Lacey's is saying, it doesn't address it because there is a stigma associated with bi-males. I am not a bi-male. I'm a straight male. But, you know, I've encountered this when I played as a single male. I would say 50% or more of the couples that reached out to me as a single male would have by female straight male listed on their profile. And then once you got into a conversation with them, they would bring up, Hey, are you open to male male play? Right.
Um, so I think clearly there's a stigma of it in the lifestyle.
And I think clearly there's more interest in it, in the lifestyle than you might think of just looking at it on the surface um so yeah i think you're right i think we need some we have a few uh bi male influencers in our in the swinger society group and um hopefully you know working with them and working with the group we can kind of help change the stigma yeah associated with those mountain men to feel like they can just be who they are if women can be bi why can't the men i i agree i agree 100 all right moving on okay so the next is same room so if someone says they are interested in same room this means that they are interested in a full swap same room or it may mean they are interested in having coffee we're gonna say coffee because we're on TikTok live with their partner in the same room another couple is having coffee and watching each other so that kind of goes with parallel play they just put it all in the same room right yeah so in this I like the definition parallel play for what you're talking about where two couples are playing with their spouse in the same room as opposed to same room play because that can get confusing usually what people mean when they say same room play is i'm playing with somebody else's partner but in the same room as my partner yes so we are same room we are a same room full swap so we swap with other couples all in one room and some people like in the same bag like sometimes if the bed's big enough or if it doesn't even matter if it's big enough sometimes it's a couch in a bed a floor in a bed a chair in a chair it doesn't you know like within eyesight of each other is the general yeah yeah now we have you know when we do some of these house parties with couples that we're very, you know, feel very comfortable with.
We have done like same house plays, so to speak, with people. Yeah. We have done same club play with certain people. Spice calls it same roof play because they're like a same room couple most of the time.
But like there are occasions when they are at like a house party and maybe he's like in you know the room next door or something i think with us anyway what's most common like if one of us has to get up to go to the bathroom or one of us gets up to go get a drink you don't necessarily want your partner to have to stop and like wait on you go with you or wait on you you could just say hey guys i'll be right back and go do what you got to do and then come back. I tend to do that all a lot.
I don't know about a lot, but yeah, it happens fairly frequently. Yeah. But I would still consider us a same-room couple. I would never say, well, we're a separate-room couple. No, we're not. It's a little bit different of an experience when you're like, I'm going to grab a drink of water. I'll be right back. Yeah. As opposed to going off in different rooms with the intention of playing. So I don't see separate rooms on here. So I guess we could just say that, though.
A separate room would just be or separate would be that like you could be at the same hotel, but in different rooms. You could be at completely different locations. It could, you know, sometimes it might not even be at the same time. Right. Just depending on your boundaries with your partner. Right.
And that kind of gets into like open relationships when you start so you know when you say separate room some couples might be separate room is we only play in the same house but we could be in separate rooms then when you start talking about like couples that are in open relationships they might play at different times and different zip codes you know it could get um you know there's all kinds of things that could happen in that situation yeah um but yeah okay so next is bull do you want to read this because you are our bull expert here i'm the bull expert yeah okay previous bull sure explain a bull is a guy that is just for casual coffee with a female either single or part of a couple and that maybe is a little bit debatable but men that are considered bulls are typically well endowed so i would like to add first thing is we have heard this also be called bluefin or bluefish right and so you know without so i think this definition is pretty good for bull um i don't know too many people that are coupled that would still consider themselves a bull although i suppose it's possible if you do separate play and you're you know like yeah and you were to do i've never heard anybody use that term right but yeah but it could be it could be right so if me and you did separate play you might consider me a bull for other couples yeah if we did separate play so i can kind of see that yeah um but but i think there is what i do like about this this definition is maybe it's not even well endowed is maybe not the right term but generally they're like an alpha male type yeah i would i would not i don't necessarily like the well endowed part because you could be so if you're a single male in the lifestyle but you're average that makes you naudable based on this you know i don't know so i disagree with that i think that if you are a single male yes an alpha type because a lot of couples that do bring in these males um they kind of want the wife's like world to be rocked is that right no that that's exactly most you know hot wife couples or couples that are looking for a single male bull type the idea is you're trying to fulfill the wife's fantasy so you want some guy to come in and like rock her world right you want this to be a very positive um experience for the wife and so that's that kind of the alpha male maybe well endowed maybe he's ripped and jacked and you know like this this alpha personality um that's kind of the persona with a bull yeah because you don't want this like passive meek guy coming in to like right you know like do his thing with you You know, I you need to be respectful but i don't know so i think the term bluefish is kind of just a single male that will play with a couple but doesn't have that same like persona as a bull does right that might just maybe it's a bi male maybe it's uh you know it's but it's a different you know like we want to bring in a single guy but maybe not with this alpha male dominant personality i think that's the difference between if you were to say a blue fish versus a bull that would be my interpretation of the difference but you could say i mean blue fish somewhat is interchangeable with bull yeah i do think that persona is kind of yeah the differentiate gotcha okay i'll do unicorn okay yeah you should do that since you since i'm an expert you might know a thing world's best unicorn over here a unicorn refers to a single woman in the lifestyle they are called unicorns because they are pretty rare and and many have never seen one yeah that's pretty accurate that's pretty i kind of nailed that one yeah unicorn yeah it's a single female that will play with couples and they are extremely hard to find um and how can i say this finding a quality one yeah i don't know why but it seems like a lot of the unicorns are crazy or they're you know yeah agree i was a unicorn if you go back and listen to our unicorn and bull story you'll learn about my days as a unicorn um yeah i think you're right i think a lot of the men the bulls come in and they just do their thing and they pack up and leave right they just come in and do their job, and they pack up and leave, right?
They just come in and do their job, and then they're out. Where unicorn is more almost like corded on. They want to keep the unicorn around. They want to make her happy. It's kind of coveted. Like if you find one, you've got to catch it and not let anybody else have it.
I mean, because they're to find right quality i think that's a good point because like um you could go to a bar and probably find a hot girl and take her home you know i mean like it could probably happen but to find someone that is actually in the lifestyle that respects your boundaries is probably harder or it is harder We've actually tried to find unicorns and have not been successful yeah i mean we've found unicorns but not the people that we want to engage yeah correct yeah yeah and it's very finding a single girl is hard finding a single girl of the quality that you want to engage with by holding your whatever standards you have for that yeah is almost impossible at least for us yeah um now the flip side of that though is i i think we could probably find a bowl if we wanted a bowl or just a single male in like an hour yeah so we've actually just like a side note for science because we have this because we have this podcast.
We were actually we've been taking walks at night just to try to get a little healthier. And we've been talking about some of our fantasies and stuff that we have not fulfilled. And that's one of the things we have never played with singles as a couple like together. We've never had a threesome, which is kind of a crazy thing. We've never had a threesome without anybody else. In the room there. Right. So, we actually are talking about trying to do that.
And we just, like, well, we'll find the unicorn first because that's going to be hard.
Once we find the unicorn and we do that, we can find a single male, like, so that although so you are right and i do think i don't know in an hour might be a little bit of an exaggeration but it is trying to say well no no i think the interesting thing is what what i have heard you know when i was a single male in the lifestyle is it's maybe harder than we think right that a lot of what the couples used to tell me is like well finding a guy that'll actually show up on time right not this isn't just collecting pictures yeah and then actually do the things he said he could and would do perform right yeah so so we might we might be underselling the bulls of the world maybe because you you know we will report back once our science project is done well in you know your experience with males in the lifestyle in general it's been it's been difficult for you to find males that would yes how many males have you had experiences with that you would consider like a bull right that?
That are coupled. Very few. Right. So I would. They're the ones that I'm the most attracted to. I would go to venture that it's probably, you know, if you can't find a coupled male that rocks your world and has that gives you that bull experience, it probably is almost as hard to find a single male that. Yeah, but like, I guess because we've actually talked about bringing in a bull because.
I don't know if you've listened to a few podcasts, I've felt a little left out, a little, like, I just need somebody to come in and just rock my world, you know? Like, he does it for me all the time, right? I mean, like, you do. You are, like, the ultimate bull, in my opinion. We both got very lucky. We found our matches.
But I kind of want something different i want some some variety i want not you dan i want you but not you um so we've actually talked about that you know just because we do struggle with finding couples that are evenly matched right the woman's beautiful the guy's okay or you can't perform or vice versa you know like maybe you're not really into the wife but i'm like super attracted to the man and i'm like dan get it together we're doing this you know but but we don't take one for the team so i feel like lately we've had a lot more success with the females than the males in coupled in couples um so we've we've toyed with that idea um so we're open to it right we kind of went off on a tangent here with unicorns and bulls but i think that well everything that we're saying you know that you said for valid you said for science i'm interested once we start this science experience i'm i would wager it's going to be harder to find a single male that's going to be of the quality that you would want.
Really? Okay, so I downloaded Tinder like two days ago, and there's nothing promising there, just for the record. For unicorns? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I was disappointed. Yeah. I was disappointed.
So if you're a hot unicorn in the South south don't live in utah and message us we're not flying to utah because we always get right unless you're willing to fly yeah we get all these on your own dime i'll be your i'll be your unicorn i'll be your unicorn i'm like okay message us and they live like a thousand two thousand miles away i'm like that's not gonna work california yeah i mean like maybe if we're gonna be there yeah now if you're far away and you're willing to fly to us but if you're in within like four to five hour driving we could work something out okay yeah if she's quality we'll work it out babe what flying her no no we'll drive like if she's in four five hours yeah okay we got off on a tangent all right next next is mfm and fmf that's not confusing at all right so fmf these just kind of go off of what we were talking about with the bull and unicorn they kind of go hand in hand so um mfm stands for male female male So two men and one woman in a threesome.
And then M, sorry, this is so confusing. FMF stands for female, male, female, two women and one man in a threesome, a.k.a. every man's dream. Right. now uh so you know basically when you see mfm and fmf it's the you know the sexes that and how many people there are. Correct. And you will see all, you'll see MMMMF, you'll see MFM, MMMM, FFFFM, you know, any variation of that. Yeah, it just is like literally how many people, if you have four people, you could do any variation. So MFMF, yeah.
Now, something I will point out that I didn't really realize until I joined the lifestyle, is if you see MFF, that means they're bisexual females. Oh, I did not know that. Right, so instead of, you know, an FMF is... I feel like we're speaking Spanish. Yeah, no, I get what you're saying.
But what I'm saying is if you put, you know, ifmf is i feel like we're speaking spanish yeah no i get what you're saying but what i'm saying is if you put you know if it was mff that the what they're trying to differentiate there is that those two females will play could play with each other oh gotcha and it could be the same if it's mmf it could be two bisexual males um and then every variation of of that that's generally what they're trying to say some people might write it and not realize that's what they're doing.
But it's a general rule. I got you. So on this definition, they're strictly describing threesomes. But this can be used. This format can be used for however many. Any numbers. Yeah. Whatever your heart's desire. Yeah.
so this kind of goes back to our bdsm umbrella or well i guess it's not the umbrella but it's under that safe word or phrase um you want to read that one or you want me to yeah no this is this is kind of my wheelhouse yeah it is a way to politely communicate with your partner that are you are uncomfortable with the situation or that you are ready to leave i.e i need to use the bathrooms could be your phrase that's a terrible phrase don't ever use that one so yeah because i use it like 10 times you will hop to go to the bathroom okay so safe word when i hear the safe word to me that means we need to like you're fucking me too hard.
You know, when I hear the word safe word, that's what I think of. I think of, you know, like, we need to tone it down. But for this definition, they're actually meaning, in my opinion, more of like a code phrase. So a lot of swingers do this.
They will have a predetermined statement word whatever it may be and that if either one of them say that they're out um at any point and in in every the swinging ends and and some people come up with all kinds of crazy right what is s&ms it's like something with a jelly bean or something yeah i don't know um i think that song titles uh i've heard like some of them have signals like hand signals or like you know like pat their head like they're stealing a third base or something you know like this makes me remember we have these friends and we've talked about them a few times on the podcast but we were talking about this one time and she said that she was not feeling this guy like once they got in there and started doing it.
She said she wrote help on his arm with her finger like an S. Did he catch it or did he miss it? I think he missed it. That's terrible. Yeah. So I think what you're saying. Are you OK?
I think what you're saying are you okay i think what you're could you imagine me writing help on your leg like you're over there like you wouldn't do that you're like somebody's so good and i'm like help like no but here's the thing about you lacy you would just be like i'm out like you wouldn't you're not subtle like you wouldn't you'd be like this i'm out and you'd get up and you would walk out and you would leave that's how it would happen um but i think what you're saying is two things important here right a safe word is more bsm and that's that's i i need to stop this for safety because i'm hurt whatever whatever i'm in my head you know there's a lot of so yeah when they said safe word i really thought that was where that was going so but what you're saying is like a code word a phrase a signal yeah and it could be you know people.
I don't know.
I don i'm out or i you know like i don't feel comfortable there's you can what i will say is if you know you and your partner work that out don't get over elaborate keep it very simple very yeah uh don't say i got a hippopotamus honestly for me and lacy we don't we don't have we meet couples out very often the way we usually handle that is one of us will go to the bathroom and text the other person and say i think we've kind of gotten to the point that we can look at each other and kind of give like a nod like um okay we're fine but yeah you're right like especially in the beginning when we would meet couples like if i would go to the bathroom or he'd go to the bathroom he'd be like you can shoot me a text or yeah yeah we're good are you okay how are you feeling right so yeah don't be saying hippopotamus or angry butt muffins or like there are some codes that are good like we do know a couple that um they'll say they're really big music people and they say can we listen to some jimmy duffy or well that works unless you're not listening to music at that point in time well but that's but she knows right she knows you know that's fine if they put that music on i guess you could say like you could somehow insert it in conversation yeah like we should listen to some snoop dog you know well she knows instantly that you're not oh we're supposed to go to a snoop dog concert next month yeah you could find a way to get it yeah but like something like i don't know hippopotamus i mean if you if you somehow say right and then like get up and walk away that couple knows exactly what you just did yeah so the netflix show you that was hakuna matata was there terrible and she screams it like in the middle of the room she's like and like everybody's like staring at her it seems like a newbie uh yeah word all right we gotta get a move all right are we going too slow uh yes but let's let's take a little break okay and uh have a word from our sponsors okay and we'll come back and finish our glossary list okay all right bye the swing nation podcast is proud to announce an official partnership with sdc.com sdc stands for, Connect.
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Yeah,'ve been just just laughing and i appreciate it but all right okay we gotta keep going next term hot wife yeah so a hot wife is a wife that sets up casual sex dates with other men typically she or her date will take photos and send them to the interested couple's husband i'll let you talk on this because that is something that you did often yeah no that's 100 right yeah so a hot wife is essentially you know a wife that plays alone um and uh you know it could be it could be doesn't the husband typically stay back or or maybe just even i don't know if it's you know right he might be in the room watching he might not be there he might just drop his wife off and come pick her back up later you know i don't i think that varies a lot but i think the idea is it's a female that engages with males solo um that's that's generally a hot wife couple um what else did it say photos that's hit or miss too i mean i've, when I was doing this, doing the bull thing, I've had it where we'd set up a FaceTime call and the husband was watching from wherever on FaceTime.
And I've had it where he didn't want anything, you know, it was just whatever was part of it. So I don't think that's universal, but I think the general idea is a wife that plays solo with males. Yeah.
And that's it and those those are that can be fun especially from the from the the bulls perspective yeah you just come in and rock her world and send her away from the coupled perspective i don't understand it you wouldn't send me off i don't know i'm like i like watching you yeah i don't know what i would get from i guess it's from what i've heard from listening to front part swears it's all about the reconnection yeah and like you know she tells him stuff about what happened and they they have that reconnection uh experience and that's that's what you know that's that's what gets him off that's what's yeah therefore yeah well everybody has their thing hey yeah no hate at all yeah okay so next is hall pass um this means that one of the individuals has permission to play on his or her own from their away from their partner you don't hear about that a ton in swinging i don't feel or maybe just not around the people that we associate with yeah you know a hall pass might be like okay if lacy travels for work i'll be like hey on this trip you can have a hall pass like you can if you want to have a naughty experience you're free to do that um yeah you know that's a thing it is a thing you'll you'll come across um i don't like couples that use it as like well you cheated on me so now now i have a hall pass right like it can be toxic i think if you you know use it as like a bartering tool or like Thank you.
well you cheated on me so now yeah i have a hall right like it can be toxic i think if you you know use it as like a bartering tool or like you know oh i'll let you buy a new car but i want to hire a hall pass you know like i don't know is that an option no it's not an option i don't know i need a new car i need a new car you want a hall pass babe no okay so we did touch on exhibitionist but that is back. So you want to read that one for us? Yep.
These are people that enjoy having coffee while other people watch but are not necessarily swingers. We are definitely exhibitionists. Right. Yeah. We love having people watch this.
Well, and it's funny that they say they're not swingers because I would still consider them if you're coming to a swinger club every month and and doing engaging but would they be in the lifestyle right maybe they're in the lifestyle but they're not swingers they're exhibitionists in the lifestyle not not swingers in the lifestyle yeah maybe maybe that's the way to word it but maybe so i love having people watch so fucking hard i little bit i agreed so a voyeur um these are people that enjoy watching others have sex and not necessarily swingers so a lot of swinger clubs do have rooms that are made for more of a voyeuristic experience so there'll be a glass window that you can peek in or you can leave the door open or there may not be a door at all um or there may be a shadow box so you could see the outline so definitely if that's something that you're into a swingers club is right up your alley yeah and i it's and i can see that being someone that maybe is not necessarily a swinger but they they just really enjoy.
Because, I mean, let's be honest, swingers club is basically like live. Yes, coffee. I can't say the word because we are live on TikTok right now. So, but you know what I mean? It's live, which you watch at home from your TV. 100%. So, if you're like a voyeur, what, you know, nothing can be better than that. Well, and I'd say most swinger clubs are set up for both the voyeur and the exhibitionist.
And then on top of that, I've even heard of clubs where like on a Saturday night, they won't let single males into the club. But they'll let them like into like a voyeur hallway so they can see what's going on in the club. But they can't come in and engage.
But they can engage but they can actually like like there's hallways and windows where they can watch and then the couples can go in there and play with like these mirrors where they don't i love watching i don't know if we've ever have we ever ever been in like a mirrored room where you don't know if people are watching that's kind of hot yeah so at colette's i thought that room with the circle bed had those mirrors i can't remember if you could see out or not on that bed. I don't know.
Anyway, moving on. Yes, moving on. Bisexual. Bisexuality is very common in the lifestyle with women. Not only is it socially accepted, but it is encouraged. Bisexuality with men is typically not socially acceptable and not very common on the surface.
So they literally just nailed everything that we've said about bisexuality on the surface right so i think it's much more common um that you know we've already killed this one but i think bisexual males is much more common in the lifestyle than most people would think yep i totally agree i've never heard this trisexuality yeah i've heard it is commonly used to refer to as a person who will try anything sexual well i don't know about anything but yeah That's it.
trisexuality yeah i've heard it is commonly used to refer to as a person who will try anything sexual well i don't know about anything but yeah yeah like so basically if somebody says i'm trisexual means i'll try anything once yeah which is you know i'm not that i wouldn't say anything i'm very trisexual as in i'll try a lot of things i wouldn't put anything in that spot. That's a bold statement. Top and bottom. You want to do that one?
I guess just to hit on real quick, what you'll hear a lot that's not listed here is bisituational. Yeah, I'm very bisituational. Right. Which, what would you? It depends. No, no. So what do you mean by that? That's what I mean. It depends. I mean, so sometimes I'm very bisexual. Sometimes I'm super into the woman or it may not even be just I just want a female. Other times I don't have hardly any desire. And it does depend on the girl and how into them I am. But it also depends on me. Right.
If I'm like extremely horny and turned on i tend to want females more if i'm just like moderately then i'm kind of take it or leave it yeah i agree yeah and so you'll you'll hear that if somebody says by situational just really how i feel that day how you know what the situation is you know that's why it's by situational depending on the situation i may be willing to also bi curious yeah so like you are interested in being bisexual but you're just kind of exploring that sure yeah let's skip the next one the next two newbies okay what would you say newbies are newbies are people new to lifestyle or to a lifestyle club or resort yeah what makes someone not a newbie like at what point how many experiences do you have to have to not be a new i don't know i don't know i mean because you could say like after your first year but like if you're somebody that swung is that the correct swang swang it i don't know what the great term is but if you are out going to lifestyle clubs and parties every single weekend in a month or two you could be an expert because somebody could be in the last up for 10 years and only you know maybe do one or two things a year yeah I think it depends on the individual yeah I agree with that and I think you know we even we've encountered that we've met you know couples and they're like we've been in the life trial for 20 years and we've been like oh have you been to hito have you been to here have you done that and they're like oh no we've only this is the only club we've ever been to you know yeah it's like well you know they've been in the lifestyle for a long time but they just know this one kind of niche yeah market of the lifestyle so to speak uh or there's probably some couples that have been in the lifestyle for 10 years and have never been to a club you know i mean so it is a yeah but just going to going to a club doesn't make you an official swinger no no no or just going to you know on dates with couples and you know in medium get to know them and taking them back you know i mean i think a well-rounded swinger does a little bit of all of it i think you're not a newbie once you feel comfortable yeah in the lifestyle you know correct i think that's a good point yeah vanilla this is a good one vanilla refers to someone that is not lifestyle for example a vanilla club vanilla friends or party so yeah so anybody that's not lifestyle so my co-workers are vanilla my um my christmas party for my friends from my hometown is a vanilla christmas party um it's essentially a term we use to reference non-lifestyle people what about vanilla swirl i've heard that term yeah which means like what like they're curious about the lifestyle but they're not in it they're like dipping a toe as sue would say yeah um maybe they're you know trying it out, but they're not fully.
They're not fully. Yeah. All the way in. I agree. Let's go down now to off premise. We had to skip a few of these. Yeah. Well, these are kind of more sexual in nature, and I think they're more common. These aren't swinger-specific terms. Yeah, so if you want to see the ones we're skipping, you can pull this up. These are more just general sex terms than they are actual lifestyle terms.
So, off-premise, an off-premise club or event is an event where sexual activities do not take place at the event.
These events typically take place at hotels and meet and greets these events also normally sell alcohol yeah that that is an interesting distinction um so there are several clubs that are swinger clubs but they don't allow um sex inside of the club and i think it also depends on like your state rules and how the the club itself is set up to operate yeah but so they tied it to alcohol but it that is very common yes a lot of these clubs they can't do both you can't have um sex happening in the club and have a liquor license because lots of these clubs have to apply for the liquor license and obviously if they go to liquor board and say what kind of club is this oh it's a sex club what they immediately get denied um so they have to kind of brand themselves as a you know just a normal adult club and then they can't allow that on to happen on premise so you have to then go off premise some of them have like you know they're somehow associated with a hotel or have discounts at hotels nearby or something like that yeah but yeah yeah i totally agree um and then on premise would be obviously the opposite of that an on-premise club or event is where sexual activities take place at the event if a swingers club is on premise typically it's also byob on premise swinger clubs have areas of room set up for people to have sex or play Eyes Wide Shut is a rare swingers club that has both.
I don't know where Eyes Wide Shut is a rare swingers club that has both. I don't know where Eyes Wide Shut is. This is a UK. So for us, we've been to Hedo. They have alcohol and on-premise play. Secrets has alcohol and on-premise play. But those are really the only ones I can think of that we've ever been to. Yeah, Desire does. Now allowed both. Now, I know, like, Friction Parties did, but it was... There's no playroom set up. No play publicly. Yeah, there's no... Yeah, so you have to go play.
Essentially, you couldn't play in the areas they served alcohol. Yeah. Yeah, so... But, yeah, it is interesting that...
So, like, if you're going to a club, if you're, you know, if you're looking on their website, website you've never been that's definitely something that you want to know um going into like there's a local club that we've been wanting to try out that is not they are an off-premise club and we've heard mixed reviews about it because you know you go and you get all hot and bothered but then there's no place to go yeah like you have to pause yeah that that is a for me personally i don't like the idea of off-premise because of that whenever you have to break away and then go somewhere else and then re-establish you know you tend to you tend to lose people yeah and in some momentum yeah and interest at the same time yeah totally um house party um you want to read that one yeah a house party is where members of the lifestyle host uh an on-premise party at their house correct and so there's different levels of that so it could be a small intimate house party where you know the host invites a handful of couples and they all go to you you know, to that person's house together.
There's also open house parties where they just open it to the public and basically anybody can come, which is kind of scary. Watch out for those ones, yeah. Yeah, I mean, like, if you see that on SLS, just think about that, right?
If anybody is welcome to go, that, I don't know, that could be a red flag for me i would not start there that would be my advice yeah if if you know but like an intimate house party where you know the host is invited you know they've hand selected couples to be there that's a that's that's a great time we've done that yeah it's been amazing you can get into like mansion parties and all kinds of all kinds of fun stuff when you start getting into the house party realm.
Swinger club slash social club. So, swinger clubs are either on-premise or off-premise. There are swinger clubs in most countries of the world. These clubs are a safe place for people to meet and explore their sexuality. These clubs are not typically high-pressure environments, as some would suspect. I agree with that. Thank you.
people to meet and explore their sexuality these clubs are not typically high pressure environments as some would suspect i agree with that we love swinger clubs yeah so that's like our go-to and i think when we talk to a couple especially new couples our recommendation is you know like if you just want to go watch then then swing clubs are are great for that right if you just want to go immerse yourself in the people and see naughty things happen, swing club clubs are great.
You'll either know if you like it or you don't, right? Real quick. You know, you're either into it, it turns you on, you're here for it, or you're like, this is not okay. Right. So I think that's a good thing.
Now, if you are an introverted type person and you get overwhelmed in crowds you get overwhelmed you know if you think seeing a bunch of people doing things would overwhelm you swinger club is probably not the place you want to yeah like if you don't like regular clubs you're probably not going to like a swinger club so it definitely is based on your personality um totally i also get a lot of questions about well we live in a small town and there's not we don't find a lot of people or we have to be very private because my husband is the pastor yes i've gotten that message before or my wife is a t an elementary school teacher and if anybody saw us we would you know we would be outed and it would be terrible and our life would be over so my recommendation is go to a swingers club find the closest largest city so you know even if that means you have to drive four five six hours um make it a weekend tell your family that you're going for a weekend romantic getaway go do fun stuff during the day that you can take pictures at go have a nice dinner and then go to a club you're going to meet people that you would not have met in your hometown no one from your hometown is going to see you and it's going to be hot naughty fun and if you do meet somebody from your hometown well maybe you just made new friends yeah if they're there they're there for the same reason that you are yeah um i think we can skip these next couple uh so these two are site and swinger name but i think site is good okay go ahead i think they we both need to touch but has anybody said like they always say like what's your are you on sls rsdc or what's your website right so we get that a lot how do you meet swingers and i get like appalled when people are like on swinger sites like how do you meet people yeah they're like on facebook or i'm like no dan and i have never approached someone that we didn't already know that they were in the lifestyle that's just not our style we're not in a style of converting people to be in the lifestyle like if you if you're interested in it and you want some information we'll be happy to give you a ton of information probably information overload and if you're hot we'll show you all the things but you have to be on a swinger site so we talk about them all the time swingersociety.net yeah our favorite it's definitely the best one we own that one um but SLS, which is swinglifestyle.com.
Met and got married off that site. Met and got married, SDC. We're a f***er.
definitely the best one we own that one um but sls which is swing lifestyle.com met and got married off that site met and got married sdc we're affiliates and we love them we do if you use our link that dan will link in the show notes you can get two weeks free there's cassidy there's three fun there's so many sites so when you double date nation yep so when you meet couples they're going to say what side are you on are you on sdc are you on sls so that's what they mean by that and then just to piggyback on that they're going to say what's your swinger name most swingers don't go by or username i don't know if they say swinger name i don't know whatever whatever your name is on the site um most swingers don't say hi my name is john smith what's your swear name southern girl yeah so that's if y'all don't know a little backstory that's how the northern guy and southern girl that was our username on sls when we would you know and it's still our our name on there so northern guy and southern girl um and that so yeah now our our names kind of change it's either that or the swing nation podcast but that's where northern guy and southern girl came from yeah and i just think come up with something like that's catchy that is you and that try to use it across all if you most swingers use more than than one platform.
I would try to get it close to the same on all platforms. It's a little bit easier. Yeah. You can definitely find it on Swingers Society.net. Not too many usernames are taken at this point. Yeah. Come claim yours. That was a good pitch, right? That was a great pitch, babe. Alright. So, what else, babe?
Any else babe any other terms conditions we skipped a few but they're all just really sex terms so uh not coffee swingers what oh oh coffee that's not on the list it's not what's coffee coffee is s-e-x it is funny that um that has it's almost like universal on tiktok now yeah so can we tell the story? Sure. We have time. Yeah, go ahead. So I've used the term coffee since my son was a baby.
So like if we're in the car, you know, and me and my sister chit-chatting or me and my best friend are chit-chatting. And I would say, yeah, blah. And they had, you know, instead of saying the word, because my kid's in the car, I don't want to, like, say it and then him repeat. Right. So I would always say they had coffee. I'd always said that. And I don't know where, if I heard that from somewhere else. I don't know why that came up.
And so when we started doing TikTok Lives, I started saying coffee. Right. This is probably, like, April, May of last year, so almost a year.
i started saying coffee right um this is probably like april may of last year so almost a year i started saying coffee and then bella from for our play reached out and was like can i say coffee and i was like heck yeah you can say coffee i'm like i don't own coffee i just that's what i had always said and tiktok is very particular about what you can say and i didn't want to break any community guidelines so coffee it was and then she made some merch that said coffee and then after that just kind of it just it blew up now every single swinger on tiktok uses the term coffee i think i've even seen non-swingers on tiktok using coffee as but that's so crazy like how big that's gotten in just a year basically yeah it's kind of crazy like you literally are sitting here doing the podcast in a shirt that says it's coffee time well it's because it's coffee time we've already had coffee today that's true well there's always you always get a second cup yeah and now we have variations of coffee like she drank from his coffee cup she had an espresso shot yeah i put some creamer in your coffee we get creative with our coffee now so so if you ever hear us say coffee sometimes we do our podcast on tiktok live um so we have to i'd like tonight's episode um so we have to censor some of our words and so if if you hear us use the term coffee.
We apparently didn't censor enough. We got banned one today. We want to count down today. But that's all right. What else, babe? What else you got? Any more terms, definitions that we missed? There's more out there. Oh, for sure.
So if you know of terms that we missed message me terms part two we do a 2.0 we love a 2.0 around here absolutely um yeah we can absolutely add on to that and maybe next time not do it on tiktok live so we can be a little bit more graphic with some of them yeah because there's some things that yeah that was actually naughtier than i thought it was going to be yeah um there's some other terms that i think we could we could dive in sure so yeah if you want that like like airtight that one dv dvp yeah okay so yeah so if you want a 2.0 and there is a term that we missed.
Send it to me on Snapchat. Email it to us. DM us on TikTok or Instagram or whatever. Send it to us. We'll continue this conversation because it was fun. I like this one. All right. I had a good time. Yeah, I did too. All right, guys. I think with that, in a world full of apples. Be the pineapple. Be the pineapple, guys. Bye. Bye. If you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us, leave a five-star review wherever you're listening.
If you want to see I'm going to go ahead review wherever you're listening. If you want to see more of our content, you can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Swinger content creators on our Swinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at theswingnation at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to theswingnation.net and keep up to date on all things Swing Nation.
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