Ep 10 Swinger Tips and Tricks pt1

Transcript

Well, here we are back again, completely different, um, scene-ery, yeah, scenery, yeah. Scene, scenery. Scene, scenery, yeah. Ta, Junior. Um, I hope everybody just got that. But anyways, we're back again. Um, we are down in South Carolina right now. We're on a little trip. We went tolinburg pigeon forge area rented a little house a bunch of work going our like pre-valentine's day trip that we do yes every year um it looks beautiful you can't really see nothing because it's so foggy it's snowed overnight there should be a really good view yeah there should be.

Instead, we just see icy trees and fog. Yep. But anyways, we are... By the way. With NC HotWave. And Dirty Max. So today we are going to kind of do some lifestyle slash swinger 101. Yeah, tips and tricks. Yes.

i feel like we always have a ton of people ask us how did you get in lifestyle how do you meet people um how do i get my wife to do this all of those things how do i convince my wife to do this yes yeah um and we are by no means professionals we aren't no we're not gonna sit here and you know make it seem like we know everything that we we know yeah you know we know everything about the lifestyle we don't we're just telling our experiences and our point of view of the lifestyle correct um so first off main question how do you get into lifestyle how do i get into the lifestyle or a lot of times we get how do i get my spouse to be you know or how do i convince my spouse to be in the lifestyle yes or get them to be open to the idea of being in the lifestyle and i think a lot of people look at it and they see the lifestyle as this is just a like a free range for sex all the time like oh like you know i can't go out and get laid you know all the time or you know it's hard for me to pick up women at the bar like you know i want to get some so let's do the lifestyle making you know maybe that'll be easier for us you know or for me it's like no that's that's not what this is about no so um first thing in the lifestyle you have to talk to your spouse yeah you have to talk about why it is that you want to be in the lifestyle what it is that turns you on about it um so for us you watched some porn one day yeah and it happened which you knew that i watched porn yeah i don't care yeah it wasn't like i was like hiding it from you or anything yeah no i was i was showing you yeah whenever we watched porn we would always like show each other what we were watching so we knew you know kind of what each other liked about it or like what we wanted to see our interest there you go our commonly searched words on pornhub um and he came across and one day that was two guys and a girl and that was like wait you can do that?

you're allowed to do that? so that's what he was interested in so he brought that to my attention you I think sent me a text message one day we did used to also do a lot of sexting during the day when we both worked full-time jobs away from each other so he sent me that one day I was like how do you feel about this yes I thought it was a trap but anyways so that was his interest as to why you wanted to be in the lifestyle and why you wanted to try something. Because whenever I watch porn, I envision you being the woman in it. Right. It wasn't so much about the woman itself.

It was more so like you in that situation almost.

And I don't know that men and women who watch porn, if they all that same no but i'm sure that there are quite a few especially men like married men that see that yeah for sure obviously want you know that have the interest of seeing their wife with other people yeah then yet i'm sure that that's how they see it um so you know we had that conversation we what i don't know where i was going with that i mean we talked about it for a long long time before we even ever did anything we did we talked about it for a very very long time we watched a lot of porn sexed a lot about it we did we did a lot of role play in it to just really make sure that that was something that we were interested in obviously you liked the idea but um i think the role playing of it is really what got you interested in it yeah got me more interested in it like we would use like a dildo to like you know kind of recreate simulate the eiffel tower kind of um thing and so i feel like that's very important yeah and like as a couple you need to you know be honest with whether it's the woman or the man coming up to you know the wife or the husband however it may I'll see you have sex with other people when it's deep down that you just want to have sex with other women right you know just be honest yeah you know because in honesty is going to go way further because at some point it's going to come up and they're going to figure it out well and that's obviously one of the things when you brought it up um i was like wait like is he using this to like be with other women yeah and obviously that wasn't the case um obviously we are like full swap swingers so yes you have done things with other women as well um but i mean it took a while to get to that point it did which was fine i mean it didn't matter to me because even till to this day you know full swapping with a couple i mean it's hot especially if you find the right couple to do it but hands down i'd rather just watch you or just me you and another guy yeah if you know if i had to pick and choose that's i'm going on that road like and don't take this one wrong way i know that there's probably going to be you know some women or couples out there like oh well you know i'm not going to go you know try to talk to them or do that because no that's it's not what i mean by that it's still hot at the end of the day right but it's not something that's like at the top of my you know what i want it's not his go-to it's not my go-to um so yes you have to 100 make it very clear as to what you're wanting out of the lifestyle um obviously why you're interested what it is you guys want um and in doing that you have to establish boundaries with each other and with you need to talk about it and then when you're done with that you need to talk about it some more yes yes you absolutely like don't stop communicating yeah you you need to talk about it some more.

Yes. Yes. You absolutely. Like, don't stop communicating. Yeah. You absolutely have to talk about it. I feel like common boundaries, especially, like, our boundaries when we first started, obviously, we always do group chats. That just seems to be the easiest way. That keeps everybody on the same page. That is a very common rule boundary with a lot of people. Yeah, I feel like you can have that honesty with your spouse to have separate chats. But then that honesty is hard to build with somebody else.

So, for instance, in a group chat setting, somebody might not say something to you or me in front of everybody but then when it's a side chat they might say something else because almost like they think that it's going to be disrespectful yeah and that's that's what makes it disrespectful is the fact that you can't say that in front of it yes like that so that's Yes, that makes it 100 times more fact that you can't say that in front of it. Yes. Like that. So that's. Yes.

That makes it a hundred times more disrespectful when you can't say it in front of somebody, but you can say it behind their back. Yeah. That's a red flag. But other boundaries. And obviously, as you go through the lifestyle, these things can change. Oh, yeah. These things can change, too. Because when we first started, we were same room only. Yeah. Depends on the situation. Sometimes that can change. What else as far as boundaries? Well, like in the beginning, like you weren't okay with me having sex with another woman.

But I was with you having sex with another guy right yeah and that was honestly I think that was a lot of just insecurities from my side yeah um but then obviously that changed and it wasn't it wasn't like we were like oh man like man are you serious like I can't fuck her right now like it wasn't like that type of thing right like you know but looking back like we've said this before we've had one really good soft swap experience and it's hotter than some of the full swaps that we've had it is and i think some of that is because you kind of have to like you get create more creative about things that you can do and yeah and it just it makes it even hotter because it's a lot more foreplay so if you're like listening to this and you're you're wanting to get into lifestyle you talk to your spouse and you're like maybe i'm not okay with doing full swap but like we're okay with soft swap don't feel ashamed don't feel embarrassed there's a lot of soft swap couples out there yeah or even even just like parallel play is a good way to start which is just two couples having room having sex in the same room with their own spouse yeah um i feel like that's a a really good place to start too because it's like you're doing it with your spouse you're literally watching porn live like real live uncut raw amateur porn right there in front of you yeah and it's completely different like i'm sure that people that get into lifestyle now like they think like oh my god like there's people fucking over there and then we see it we're like it's just another tuesday like oh there's just people over there fucking no big deal but no it is hot like when you see that for the first time because i remember the first time we went to a club and they're like oh my god those people are fucking over there babe um but yeah so a lot of boundaries rules first are same group chat same room um this is probably a big stickler for people depending on your preference but protection and or testing um we prefer more to just be tested and for our play partners to be tested as well there are a lot of people that are strictly um just condoms which is totally fine we respect that we won't not somebody just because they, they use condoms.

That's totally your preference. We're fine with that. Um, I will say if somebody says that they would prefer not to use them or doesn't want to use them, but you always use them, like that's kind of a red flag. Like maybe that's just something you don't do that something with them. Yeah. Um, Thank you.

but you always use them like that's kind of a red flag like maybe that's just something you don't do that something with them yeah um trying to think of some other like big i mean like a bunch of people that have a different one like there we've seen like the no kissing one we didn't really have that um which wasn't a big problem for me because i'm it's not like i'm a big kisser anyways right um yeah the no kissing was a big thing I mean there's there's ones that you know you're not allowed to I mean you can get down to like the nitty and gritty like you know don't spank my wife on the ass or you know don't don't call my you know husband daddy or like there's certain like there's a lot of things that if you really want to get down into all the details of it there's a lot of things that you can think of but oh yeah there's a ton you could go very much in into depth but as far as i feel like just like you're not allowed to you know we only finish together kind of thing like right and we feel like that's a big thing too yeah that's totally fine too yeah there's nothing wrong with that no because you kind of like especially if you're in a couple swap situation and you start out with your spouse and then you go to the other person and then you kind of come back and you're kind of it's kind of like almost like they're reconnecting almost reclaiming a little bit if like say like we start out i go and fuck her and then i come around and then i fuck you and finish with you right we're kind of reconnecting and re you know i'm reclaiming yes actually yeah and i think that's a a really big thing too is after like you guys we do stuff with other people their reclaiming is a very important part yeah as well that is important um but as far as getting lifestyle definitely make sure you talk to your spouse make sure you are doing it for the right reasons um make sure that you set boundaries set rules make sure you guys talk and talk about those boundaries and rules and what you like and what you don't like you can never ever talk too much about it And make your boundaries when you aren't having sex.

Like when you're clothed, when you're driving to the grocery store together, have a conversation about your boundaries. Not when you're in the heat of the moment, fucking or drinking or anything like that, because that is the worst times to create boundaries. Yes. Because then, you know, hot and horny Kyle is going to have a different brain than prude and not in the mood. That kind of rhymed a little bit. There's two different brains there. I'm thinking with this brain versus this brain. Yes.

You got to make sure you're thinking with the right head when you're making exactly making your boundaries and your rules and establishing those and same thing goes for women too yes absolutely yeah we're not just not just um pointing out the men it has to be the women as well um but and also before you get into the lifestyle if you're going to go play with somebody or you're going to go if there is potential potential to go play at any point y'all just go get tested even if you just go to your doctor's office if you don't feel comfortable talking to your doctor about it go find a different doctor go to a walk-in clinic yeah go to the health department like yeah there's a bunch of different online stuff because even if you guys are in a you you know, been married for 10, 15 years, go get tested.

Yeah. So even if you're in a monogamous relationship, go get tested. There might be something that is a y'all problem that you could possibly make it a other people's problem. Yes. Make sure your household household is, you know, in line and check before you start bringing other people into, you know, your play time. Yes. Cause that could end very, very badly. Um, so yes, that's our first step. Go get tested before you even like want to think about playing with somebody just to double check.

Um, and as As far as meeting other people um there's tons of websites out there there's sls there's sdc there's three fun app um if you go to my website www.nchotwife.com there are links for three fun there is a link for sdc on there both of those are good sls is a good one um sls is what we use when we first started out i mean there's there's so many different ones there's there's friction there's what is it cassidy yeah field is field one yeah i think so the swinger society a lot of them have the same type of platform so they'll cross over yes so like i know friction and the swinger society website they both go hand in hand like if i change pictures or change you know like a description or what we're looking for it'll cross over and automatically switch over to that one as well okay like they'll automatically update with each other so like that's definitely a good way to um potentially meet people um maybe talk to people online before um it's also a good way to start to kind of get a feel for people as far as like if you make a group chat yeah as far as uh if the feeling seems like it's going to be mutual yeah and don't be don't get discouraged because you go through the time and you know create a group chat and you're like all these people are you know hot and the next thing you know it doesn't lead to anything trust me there's a lot of swingers out there that talk to people all the time and it goes fucking nowhere yeah so don't get discouraged you will have times to where and you might even meet the person meet the people and you're like i'm not really feeling this like i mean we had a group chat with a couple that we the group chat was great like we talked a bunch like it was it was really good and then when we about them in person it was like fucking crickets like it was super awkward um but yeah i feel like that is also a good way to see um if everybody's on the same page about everything yeah absolutely um yes definitely uh get on the websites it also has we'll show you where different parties and events are at.

Yep. There are, there's all kinds of different kinds of parties. There's clubs, there's hotel takeovers, there's cruises, there's. I mean, SLS even, you can post your house party.

Like if you want to do a, you know, private house party, you can post it on there and people can come to that so there's all different kinds of ways you can or you can even post like a hot date like say like hey we're going to i don't know atlanta for the weekend and i'm looking for you know a guy for you to have fun with i can it's almost like a wanted ad like i can post that on there yeah and guys can you know message us or send us you know hey like i'm in the area i'm gonna be in there i can travel to the area stuff like that and you can do it like that too if you wanted to um but as far as what we normally suggest to people who have it would be their first time going to an event or whatever we suggest a club yeah um mostly because you can go to a club you can walk in if you for some reason it's just not what you thought it was yeah you have the ability to literally walk out the door and go back to your house or your hotel room.

Never come back again. Yeah.

Like you have the ability to literally walk out the door and go back to your house or your hotel room yeah like you have the ability to literally walk in be like okay this is not what i thought and leave whereas if you go to a hotel takeover like you've already paid for your hotel room for the night or a resort or something like that you've paid to be there um of course you can always go back to your room um but there's constantly stuff going on music going on and stuff like that um whereas like a club you can go in there you can get a feel for it and see do i like this do i not like this um and we always say when you go to anywhere club any kind of event or anything like that never go in there expecting that something is going to happen no never go in there expecting anything other than you and your partner having a good time with each other no um because at the end of the day that's all that matters yeah and if you go in there with expectations you might get let down yeah yeah if you go in there with expectations you could leave very disappointed yeah and then you're like oh man like i don't like this like this isn't fun and stuff like that but if you lower your this sounds bad saying lower your expectations but don't always assume that there's something going to happen yeah don't always assume just because you go to a club or you go to a hotel takeover you go to a resort or on a cruise that something is automatically going to happen with another couple or another single man or woman that almost kind of leads into something else that we're going to talk about as far as like like assuming that something's going to happen with a with a couple yes um so and this is obviously something we've ran into in the past i feel like this is something that obviously other people run into as well um just because you play with a couple so say you go to a hotel takeover it's like a thursday fr Friday, Saturday kind of thing.

Say you go in there Thursday night. You're feeling it. You guys are having fun. And you guys do something that night. And it does not have to be a couple. This goes for couples, single men, single women. We're not just pointing couples out. You go in there.

You guys have a great time Thursdayursday night you play and you just have a fucking phenomenal time that does not mean that is a um free ticket or what's free ticket free hall pass for consent like that's not an open consent policy from now on yes that is not a every time i see you yeah we're gonna fuck it is you still need to ask consent yeah so you have don't get upset like you might you know say we go like you said go to a hotel takeover maybe we fuck a couple thursday night and then friday night another couple shows up and they were like okay like you know let's let's try to make something happen with this couple yeah that happens if you're the other couple that we fucked on thursday night don't get upset like don't get jealous this is not what this is about right this this is this is not just yeah we are this is not about feelings yeah um and obviously there are very different parts of the lifestyle where feelings and stuff get in that yeah but as swingers um there are no feelings we have feelings for each other um and that's it um yeah don't don't get butthurt um or but it's just, it's not a, it's not, just because you do something one night doesn't mean it's going to happen every time you see each other or it's not going to happen Thursday, Friday and Saturday night.

Yeah.

I guess there's always a chance that it could, but you should never assume that that is going to happen yep um so going back to you go to a club you and your spouse go to a club you go home you need to talk about it yeah you need to talk about what you liked what you didn't like what you would change if there was absolutely any form of jealousy that you felt you need to talk about it you have to 100 make sure that you talk about the good the bad and the ugly you can't just be like oh like that was fun like you know we danced with this person and danced with this person and then some person comes up and dances with him i don't like it like you have to have that hard conversation yeah it's the hard conversations are what can make or break the lifestyle for people yeah you have to be able to talk about you have to be able to you know work through what you didn't like and figure out why you didn't like it yeah so that way then it doesn't happen again right yeah if you don't if you let it slide the first time yeah it's gonna happen again because there might be something that like a guy does with you that you like but i don't like it but at the end of the day if one of us doesn't like it it doesn't need to happen again right yeah and it's it's you can't be like well no like I really liked it it's gonna happen again that's that's gonna cause issues yeah that's not the way it works if one person doesn't like it the other person automatically doesn't like it either yeah um so that's a really big thing as well because I feel like that's gonna end up like down the road like you're just dealing with it and it's like well she really likes it but you know it kind of makes me feel like you know shit or something like that or yeah you know it doesn't it doesn't make me feel like not proud of myself but like confident in myself yes or something like that like so just just talk about it don't it's supposed to be the person that you know you want to spend your life with and you can tell everything to so if you can't do that you guys need to back up and kind of you know kind of reevaluate the situation there you go um i feel like like we're gonna ruffle a lot of feathers with this one there was one more thing i was going to i'm trying to find it please stand by sorry Sorry, guys.

Okay. So, going back to talking about communicating with each other, I feel like no matter how much you say communicate, that still is hard for people. Yeah.

have to you have to communicate about it you absolutely have to talk about um another issue i feel like is okay so and these are these aren't 100 issues that we have like okay we just had this issue or something like that we do have people that submit things that they have crossed or like ran across and like kind of want our opinion on it or yeah how to can can you explain how you would deal with it yeah yeah so no yeah we've had we actually had um a really good friend of ours um who gave us some suggestions about some things that had um happened to her and some friends of hers yeah um and one of those things is okay you're in the lifestyle you're not for everybody everybody's not for you exactly that is just that's just the way it is that is just like now i will say there are some people in the lifestyle because there there are so many different ways that you can do a lifestyle and the way we do lifestyle is not going to be the way that works for somebody else so and that's the beauty of the lifestyle is because there's so many different people in here and there's so many different ways to do it we're just talking about our experiences and our advice for it yes how we would handle it as a couple yeah i'm not going to be somebody else's you know i'm not six six you know 250 pounds muscular guy and that's okay like there's going to be women out there that want that and that's that's fine with me you know you want what you want or you like what you like kind of thing yeah but don't get upset when somebody else doesn't want you or they're not you know you're not their cup of tea right i mean like i'm a blonde yeah there's guys out there that don't like blondes yeah they only like brunettes and vice versa or you're you're more on the taller side so there are guys out there that don't like tall women they like shorter women or you know they like super thin women they don't they don't like a curvy woman like there's all different types for everybody and that's what's great about the lifestyle is there's so many different ways and there's like everybody's made in their own unique way and that's what one of the reasons like we love the lifestyle um but saying you're not somebody's cup of tea you have to be okay with being rejected you have to be okay with somebody telling you no and you not getting in your feelings or you getting butthurt.

Does it suck to be rejected? Abso-fucking-lutely it does, 100%. But that is part of the lifestyle. But at the end of the day, you're going to hang out with out with this person and you'll potentially have sex with them. That's it. You're not going home with them. You're not building a life with them. You're not seeing them every single day. Right. You're not building a relationship with them. It's just a, you're hooking up with them. Yeah.

If they're not your cup of tea, they're not, I mean, if you're not their cup of tea, you're just not just not their cup of tea right um and i feel like that's so just because you meet somebody in lifestyle and you become great friends with them in the lifestyle doesn't necessarily mean you're attracted to them yeah um it could mean that you're fun to be around yeah you can like there's more reasons to being in lifestyle than just fucking people like it's about making friends and being able to just have that open conversation and be like hey dude guess what like my wife fucked that guy last night like yeah you can be your own true self it's not like you're around your kids or your family you know at your work pretending to be this person you can that's what i love about being in the lifestyle setting is you're your true self yes and nobody i won't say nobody there should not be any judgment there should not be any judgment about it um so and another thing and this this is also kind of is swinging but also um like content creation um thing as well you can have a group chat with somebody like you guys can can share all of these like sexy pictures with each other and be like you know i can't wait to like you would say like i can't wait to fuck your wife like stuff like that yeah okay you meet them and you don't have that same vibe with them.

Or even if you've known these people for years and you guys meet and you feel like, you know, maybe something's going to happen. Up until that very, very point before you take your clothes off, you can 100% say no. Yeah.

It doesn't matter how long you guys have signed like an agreement or signed like like we're going we're going to have sex like at any point if you're not feeling comfortable even if you're in the middle of having sex right and you're not feeling comfortable with it have a safe word there's a lot of people that we know that we have that have safe words we don't really have a safe word but i can i can read your face when you're not having a good time and i know like hey like i need to like hey bro let me get in there yeah you know kind of thing or i can kind of reconnect with you or or something yeah long lines luckily we haven't been in a situation to where we've've had to completely remove ourselves from the room or the area or anything like that.

We have had other couples that have told us stories about where they've had other couples essentially like, we're getting the fuck out of here or we need to get the fuck out of here kind of thing. We had a couple that we met on the bliss cruise that we went on oh yeah i don't remember the exact conversation but their safe word was diet coke i remember that and i remember that story that is a fucking great like that's an amazing safe word it's not just like pineapple or something like that well what happened was they were they were swapping with a couple.

And obviously their safe word was Diet Coke. The woman looked to the husband and said, hey, babe, I'm thirsty. Can you get me a Diet Coke? And he's like, no, I'm good right now. And it went right over his head. He had no idea. And she's like, no, I'm really thirsty. I think I need a diet Coke right now. And he, it went right over his head again. And that was great. I forgot about that story. Yeah. So, and just, and if that's what you have to do to like have a safe word, that's fine. Like obviously.

And that's great to have a safe word like that, because if somebody were to say something to us or like if we if we heard that into in a room with somebody else like something along those lines it would never you know cross my mind but if somebody's like comes up say it's like something you know pineapple okay if somebody randomly says a fucking word out like this is a safe word what the fuck is going on right if you can work it into like a phrase or like a sentence or something that's fucking genius yeah yeah if you if you can even just like don't even have to say diet coke if you're just like oh man I'm really thirsty like I think we need to take like I need to take a break or something like that if you just you know the way that she worded it was like hey can you get me this I'm really thirsty like that was that was perfect yeah so and like and obviously we don't have a safe word but we can read each other very well um to know if we're having a good time um i do feel like making sure that you look at your spouse on a regular basis during um the funny time like the fun time yeah you're just checking in and make sure yeah at the end of the day that is your spouse you still need to remember her like don't think like and maybe that's that's kind of a sign of somebody that gets into it for the wrong reasons if they like almost completely disassociate themselves from their spouse during the playtime yes it's almost like they're like forgot about them essentially yeah yeah so um we're definitely gonna ruffle some brothers i wonder how many text messages we're gonna get is this about me um no this isn't about anybody that we know this is not about one specific person or anything this is just experiences that either we've had or people have brought to our attention and asked us for advice about um we ain't here to stir the pot none of that shit no um but then like that is the same thing obviously i said it was related to content creation as well.

That is another thing. You can plan to work with somebody. And, of course, you always want things to work out so that you guys can work with each other. Yeah, I mean, that's the thing about it is, you know, everybody wants to get into it to make money. Right.

You're not putting your shit out there to get leaked for free and like oh I don't really care like if that's the case just upload them to google or whatever yeah but like that's another thing is you can go and you can meet them and you can show up and and meet them and then you can just get this like you can get a weird vibe you can you know just be like you know this this isn't for me and at the end of the day that's what i love about doing content and doing your own platform is the fact that you can you're your own boss at the end of the day you didn't sign no fucking contract with anybody else right if you do mainstream and stuff like that you sign a contract it's happening right doesn't matter but that's what i love about you know us running our own stuff and only fans and you know all the other different platforms many bids and stuff like that fansly you're your own boss you don't have to fucking you're not working for nobody else we pick who we want to work with yeah um and obviously i'm pretty sure i've said this before and it's if it's not something we wouldn't do off camera it's not something we're gonna do on camera yeah um i've definitely said that before um and but yeah like you can meet with somebody to work and if you get there and you have a a bad vibe you have no obligation to work with them whatsoever um and that might not get by hurt because there's there's people that ghost you and don't show up or you get there and you gotta bounce and you gotta pull the plug it happens it does that's the end of the day like don't get don't get but hurt there's especially in this business you're gonna have slow days not everything's gonna if it was an easy job that you made money every fucking day everybody would do yeah but it's not for sure that's just the way that it is it's for sure you have good days you have bad days just cross it cross that day off and move on right i feel like we talk a lot we do no i feel Like we talked about a lot oh we talked about a lot okay so continuing in this another um comment that um was somebody asked or this is pretty much what they said and we just want to kind of elaborate on it a little bit yeah is women being held to the same accountability as men yeah i feel like that is something that is not talked about enough yeah um because it's always the married men and the single men that get a bad rap like i don't know so much I'll see you next time.

because it's always the married men and the single men that get a bad rap. Like, I don't know so much about the married men, but definitely the single men, definitely the single men. The single men definitely get a, um, a bad rep, um, in the lifestyle. Um, which the more that we've done things with single men, the more I feel like the married woman and the married men are the worst. Yeah, definitely a married woman, women up at the top for sure. Yes. I feel like women are not held at the same standards as men. Right. It's almost like they think that they can just... Like they're invincible.

invincible yeah like they can get away with anything and they can do anything yeah that's not the way it is and that's not the case at all um this makes me think about when we were at secrets i had a woman come up to me and we were in a club there was a shit ton of people in there um and she just came up to me and she's just like i know i'm not supposed to be touching you but like i just can't help it um i almost lost my shit yeah um but that is not acceptable no that like just because it's a woman touching another woman that that is not acceptable there's no difference between another woman having to get consent to touch me as there is a man yeah man or woman they should both be getting consent before touching you no matter what yeah um so i do think feel like women think they get away with more stuff um And that's not fair.

No. I definitely feel like that's something that needs to be addressed more. Yeah. What else were we going to? I don't know. I feel like we covered a lot of shit. I mean. We got into the, it was supposed to be like good, bad, and ugly. We got into a lot of the bad and the ugly today. Okay, well. Just kidding. I mean, we got to the it was supposed to be like good, bad and ugly. We got into a lot of the bad and the ugly today. OK, well, I mean, there are. But that makes it seem like we're making the lifestyle like all about bad stuff.

No, but we don't want to come on here and just talk about like, oh, this is all sunshine and roses. Like this is going to, you know, every single time you get into bed with somebody else, it's going to be 100 percent, you know, the best thing ever.

And then every single time you talk to a couple, it it's you know going to be 100 100 you know the best thing ever and then every single time you talk to a couple it's you know you're going to end up fucking these people no like you you we're gonna have more people talking about you know the good and the bad or the you know the great times and the not so great times right we need that out there because then it's gonna so that way then when people get into it they know that like hey like this happened this might be kind of a normal thing that happened to other people you know like you might be talking to these people and then like you know say like monday during the week you're like all right let's go let's let's get a sitter and you know saturday night we're gonna go go out with this couple and you know everything is really good every single day the chats are fucking phenomenal and then you get there and then it's almost kind of a letdown like you're not like the vibe isn't there or maybe you're not 100 attracted to the person or their personality in person versus on on the phone is completely different and you're not and then you have to do that drive back home and you're like disappointed but just remember that's normal like shit like that happens yeah that that it's 100 normal for stuff like that to happen it happens all the time um i will say one more thing about couples that are only looking for other couples finding another couple where the four of you guys all vibe together is very hard yeah it's harder that is like the real unicorn to me of the lifestyle is being able to find a four-way connection yeah and that is a lot harder than people think um because it's generally i feel like not always, but in the past, like, it has – it could be one-sided.

Yeah. I mean, it tends to be sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. And that's another big thing about the lifestyle is, like, say we meet a couple and I think the guy is just – like, I'm good.

Like, he's um he's just yeah he like he's attractive like he has a great personality like all of those things but you're not attracted to the wife yeah and she's a bitch then Damn Shit i'm not talking about ourselves am i no i'm just um but like it doesn't matter how much i think he would be a good time yeah because you don't like her yeah if i'm not we're not doing it if i don't think i'm gonna have a good time then yeah so and that's where the term of like not taking one for the team comes from and maybe that's We'll be right back.

don't like her yeah if i'm not we're not doing it if i don't think i'm gonna have a good time then yeah so and that's where the term of like not taking one for the team comes from and maybe that's why i feel like we've run into more people doing stuff separately but almost like i don't know like i couldn't do that as like our first thing like if we got into the lifestyle we were like you know we kept trying to find couples and we couldn't find somebody that we're attracted to vice versa i'm not going to be like all right let's just do our own thing like i don't think i can do that if you can that's cool whatever yeah no if you can and you guys yeah if you're on the same page and do it but it's not going to be something that's you know for everybody right and don And don't assume that just because if for some reason maybe you met a couple and they're okay with playing separate.

And then you find another couple and you're not attracted to one or the other. Don't assume that they're going to be okay with playing separate. Right. Yeah. Because there are a lot of couples or I feel like the majority of couples, not all of them, prefer to play in the same room. Yeah.

I mean, I feel are a lot of couples or i feel like the majority of couples not all of them prefer to play in the same room yeah i mean i feel like a lot of about the lifestyle is that you like you wanted to see me with another guy yeah okay well like you have to be there to see it i mean obviously we do other things as far as like um we have done some separate things but yeah um but it takes a lot of trust it does it does it's not just like because trust me that five minutes of okay we're getting ready to do something and then okay we're done that five minutes is a long fucking five minutes it's gonna feel like five hours if you're not talking to that person yeah because then you're like well what are they doing like i mean you know what's going on like are they okay like are she okay like yeah you know there's a lot of shit that all of a sudden that little you know two-way street in that brain becomes a fucking eight-lane highway of shit going on in there yeah um so that's a big thing too yeah i don't know i feel like we talked a fuck ton Thank you.

shit going on in there yeah um so that's a big thing too yeah i don't know i feel like we talked a fuck ton like a like a whole like a big truck fuck ton really we did i don't even know my watch isn't even though that's why i can't tell what time it is i don't even know how long but i think i think we should uh probably wrap it up i think that was good okay all right well if you guys have any more suggestions as far as things we should talk about issues you guys have ran into how to handle them things like that and these these might not be the way that that you guys do it and that's totally fine yeah and this is just our take on it we're not like teaching class of like okay this is the way you need to do lifestyle this is what works right no this is what works for us yeah um but let us know if you guys want us to do another one like this yeah hope you guys have a wonderful day yep and we are by the way nc hot wave and dirty max bye y'all bye