HOT we totally agree.. its now the "entitlement" generation and those who think that manners, class and sensuality is a thing of the past.. but not for "us" and we have no problem telling people so!
Its our journey and YES we have been swinging well over 25 years with those who get it!
And that reply sums up EXACTLY what the biggest issue is… people on here who are NOT lifestyle and just don’t grasp the etiquette of it. They think it’s a hook up site like Tinder or because people are here they’ll just fuck any & everyone and they’re entitled to some action.
Normally I only cruise the forum for tips, tricks and other knowledge building information but this post stood out to me this morning and I felt compelled to respond. I think the consensus is pretty unanimous on why all messages aren’t responded to; overwhelmed inbox, rude or disrespectful “introductions”, unintelligence, no effort, failure to read and respect profiles…the list goes on and on. Now, I do try to be “polite” or “courteous” and provide a response to those I can, especially when I feel they’ve made a genuine effort, but I don’t lose sleep over it based on the above mentioned reasons and others discussed below. However, this morning was one of those times I thought I’d be “courteous” and responded to a rude disrespectful introduction message to which I specifically told him his message was, politely of course (aka learning opportunity). So to be clear on one of the several reasons why many of us who “waste time and space” on this site don’t respond…this is an example of why:
(courtesy of the stellar sls member who is allowed on this site) “You want me to send some flowers and take you out on a 5 star restaurant before i ask you to fuck? I can take you to meet the president if you want as well
Bunch of fucking clowns on this site i swear
You’re here to fuck dont get upset when someone asks you to do so. Disrespecting the lifestyle. bitch you are a woman on a hook up site complaining about someone who asked you to do just that
Every now and then a time waster like you appears
Its like you people get off by messaging each other
So fucking bizarre. Upset cause someone asked her to hook up on a hook up swinger site
What the fuck has the world come to”.
"I sent out a bunch of introduction e-mails and always end with "please respond, even if to say no-thanks".... nothing, crickets, nada"
You seem like a nice guy, but you also appear to be unaware of how many messages couples and women receive, and of how many are from single men who feel entitled to attention. By asking for a response (and by asking, I mean demanding, except politely), you are automatically putting yourself into the same box with men who feel that being on a swinger site entitles them to pussy. That's not a good look and will make this whole enterprise harder for you.
Unless and until you grasp that you probably won't receive responses no matter what you do, because the number of men looking for couples and women far exceeds the number of couples and women looking for men, you're going to continue to be unhappy with your reception on SLS.
People who expect a reply are obviously not in marketing or sales. It definitely shows you are unaware of a ‘slow no’. You have no idea how many messages they receive. And regardless of you asking them to simply reply with ‘no thank you’, does not put that responsibility on them.
Just move on to the next person.
No surprise to me. I try to be friendly, courteous, and reach out to people who fit my age range, preferences, and maybe are fairly close. I sent out a bunch of introduction e-mails and always end with "please respond, even if to say no-thanks".... nothing, crickets, nada..... it's a shame what we are here to do, and people act so rude...
I usually try to respond. Some men that I respond to don’t take no for an answer. Some will continue to try to chat even though I told them of distance constraints. I’m not looking for a quickie/one and done situation. Or a long distance situation. Even if I add that to my profile, I know it won’t be read.
Same thing happens on other sites I am on. It’s universal
I agree, this is supposed to be a social media site, but not much social interactions. At least respond with f... off don't message back, or something.
We try to respond to everyone that contacts us and was respectful. Every once in a while things get away from us though. We also find it frustrating when people say if their pics are open they're interested but they don't reach out, so we do only for them to never respond back.
That all being said, we don't reach out to anyone who's profile makes it clear we wouldn't be a match. When people clearly don't respect what we're looking for, we don't typically put any energy into responding to them.
We've also found that no matter how soft we make the blow of "thank you, but we're not going to be a match" it more often than not is met with someone choking on sour grapes. Can't seem to find whatever the magical way is to prevent people from getting so upset about it.
Taking up whose time and whose space? LMFAO. Nobody is entitled to another person's time. If someone doesn't want to specifically write back to say "not interested," that's a good sign that it isn't someone worth any more of your time. Sounds like you dodged a bullet. Block them and move along.
We learned early on, so many folks, singles mostly, are fishing. Casting a large net in the hopes of a nibble. Rapid fire profile clicks, see a sexy picture or two, copy and paste the same message in rapid fire succession in the hopes of responses. We were inundated with messages and it was impossible to manage. We needed to find a way to weed out those who actually read our profile and didn’t simply quickly swipe through Ms. Choose’s amazing pictures and send a message. We did, and now we only respond to, and always respond to, those who read our profile, even if it is a polite not interested. If you did not take the time to read our profile, we do not take the time to respond. Have not tracked it, but best guess, only about 1 in 10 messages received from singles have read our profile. The system works!
A no thanks or not interested would be appreciated. Especially after i have taken the time to read most of these long and boring profiles!! I just think its common courtesy. If not interested why even be in the site wasting people's time and taking up space
Maybe your messages aren't inspiring enough to warrant a response?
No response is a response.
You should not be surprised to learn that many people don't take no for an answer. My wife and I have had more than our fair share of pushy assholes who don't take "I am sorry there isn't a mutual interest" as the end of the discussion.
It's often easier to delete the message and block the profile.
It's hilarious that people who wouldn't wear masks or get vaccinated for the sake of public health are whinging about politeness.
How about recognizing that you have no idea what people have written, and therefore you have no idea if a response is warranted? How about accepting that you have no idea what people have going on in their lives, and what others consider polite or not? How about not assuming other people owe you anything? How about recognizing the context of the situation, and that maybe it's impolite to demand a response?
I don't understand people who expect anything one way or another from written communication with total strangers who don't believe in public health.
How about the old thing of being polite?
Nah. Although my wife will have a response for almost anybody who writes to us, lower your expectations, as it seems most people don't.
Also, look at it this way - nobody owes any stranger a response to anything. You're writing to people you don't know and who don't know you. If there's no interest based on initial contact and profile, why does that person now need to compose and send a response?
Twoforone,
I like that idea of a response button. Also having a "Read Notification" would be nice to have to see if it was even received and read.
Al%*&t F F has a "read" feature that you can select if you want to know if it was indeed read.
They could make it easy an just put like a sorry not interested button for response on the email. I know there have been issues with the chat and issues with messages even going through so that may make people wonder if its even working or not. So a simple button to click that says not interested i would think would let people know the message went through an not waste time an move on. Just my 2 cents
Rich echoes what our take is and what most people we talk to about the no response topic is. We aren't actively looking at single guys right now, but if someone engages our interest we certainly make a note for follow up or tag them as a fav.
I have played as a single male before and it's hell I also have played as a couple. Seems as if guys don't read the entire profile and do exactly what the profile says not to do..when that happens we instantly block them because they arent smart enough to read and are only looking at pictures. Read a profile completely before responding. Also single females and couples are bombarded with emails so you better say something intelligent in your first email or they wont respond.
Right now, I'm actually coming to the conclusion that no response is preferable to the politely monosyllabical responses I've received lately. At least a no response can be ignored, but those short responses that say virtually nothing force me to wonder if they're actually interested or if they're just trying to be polite while they shoo me away.
Honestly, we’re pretty upfront right in our profile about what generally will or won’t get a response. We try to cover the basics there. Most of the time people (especially our single female friends) are bombarded with emails so sorting and picking ones with profiles that pique our interest get the attention. We concur though with GGMM that there if you don’t set expectations on contacts it makes it easier.
But now you know you're wrong.
I could give you a list of reasons why people don't respond, but this has been discussed over and over and the bottom line is don't expect a response, nor, if you don't want to make yourself nuts, feel as if you deserve one.
I thought it would be common courtesy to at least say you'renot interested if someone sends an email.
