I occasionally have to retype/resend a message on SLS. It doesn't happen often, and i make liberal use or the paste buffer for messages of any length so that I do not have to retype it. I've never had to send a message more than twice though. When it doesn't send, it's clear that it didn't send, but since I can't really see the messages of the person I send to, perhaps it happens more often than I think.
But do you have to send the message on their site 5 or more times before it goes through??
FWIW - One of SLS's biggest competitors revamped their email system and, like SLS, made things worse for the average user in the process.
For example, you can't just enter a <CR> to get a paragraph break. If you want to send 3 paragraphs, you have to send 3 separate messages. It'd be kind of ironic if they did this thinking people liked the changes that SLS made ;-)
I agree that it is courteous to reply to a "real effort" message. I understand not-replying to one-liners, cut-n-paste junkmail, or if you're just getting totally flooded with messages (lucky you!).
I can also imagine that sometimes people DO actually reply, but with the "new and not-improved" messaging architecture here at SLS a lot of messages seem to get lost into some alternate universe.
"If you have your profile open to single guys and they're messaging you, then it comes with the territory."
Absolutely. And if they're doing so to profiles that clearly state that they will do the hunting, thanks, so please don't contact them, those single guys are demonstrating that they are the opposite of bouncy trouncy fun and deserve either ringing silence or a block. Because I can pretty much guarantee that a man that can't follow instructions in one area can't follow instructions in others.
BBM said: If you have your profile open to single guys and they're messaging you, then it comes with the territory. Just like I don't like when couples ask me if the husband can suck my dick when my profile clearly says I'm straight.
Exactly and it shows they didn’t bother to read which is a turn off as many others have stated. If that comes with the territory, then so does not getting a reply to said action.
A different take on this....Even if I were looking to buy a car, I'd not want unsolicited contact from car dealers. How is this any different?
ItalianGinger4u2 Like I said block single males until you are actually ready to meet single males. If you have contacts you speak to you can communicate off the website. The majority of people on this website use third party apps to communicate once they've found someone they've connected with. There's an insignificant amount of people who only use messages here to communicate. Every single person I've met on this site has always moved on to other forms of communication once there's was an established connection.
If you have single guys that you want to stay in touch with how about you give them your number or another way to communicate.
If you have your profile open to single guys and they're messaging you, then it comes with the territory. Just like I don't like when couples ask me if the husband can suck my dick when my profile clearly says I'm straight.
gtrguy, you're just going to continue to be unhappy if you insist that it's rude not to answer you back. Insisting that you fit someone's criteria is again edging into that entitlement arena as well.
Also, I'm probably not the only one who doesn't open someone's profile before saying thank you but no thanks to cut/paste messages. Granted, I'm a hard grader, but so are a lot of us who are actually looking for guys. Why on earth would I give anyone who makes a low effort attempt any more of my time than it takes to respond with a few go away words (and I don't even bother with that if the message is "hi" or the like).
And, no, I'm not being rude. I also ignore catcalling, guys in bars telling me to smile, and all the other socially ill-adapted tricks men use to get attention from women because they think they're entitled. Have a solid approach without a whiff of entitlement? I'll happily chat, on line or in person. Pretty common for women.
Kandkfun: not knowing me at-all, you’re making some lofty judgements. I’m far from desperate. I have enjoyed a number of multi year “relationships” in the lifestyle. When I find someone, I treat them like gold and value the friendship in and out of bed. Mostly, I’m inundated by males (often listed “straight” here, but write to men ). Look, single and married men pretty much are a dime a dozen. I’m open to it, but finding the “right one” can be tough. That being said; I totally get what couples go through. I had an ad with a girlfriend years ago to meet men. We were buried with responses, but we did respond, even if it was a simple “thanks for writing, not a fit”. If someone didn’t take no for an answer: blocked. When I write a prospective couple I’m respectful with no pressure. As I said before; age range, sexual preferences are all taken into account. My point is: if your profile shows you as open to males, then be nice enough to say no thanks. Ignoring people completely is rude.
and to add.. posted in another forum by "us":
Exactly Fran.. this week alone 5 single male request, 3 dick photos, one wanna fuck, and says he is experienced one photo since 2016 and didnt read our profile.. and calls us fakes.. showed him our xxx photos he didnt have a word to say after.. sort of eating crow..!
BBA, there's plenty of reasons a couple who isn't looking for new SMs might still want their profile to be viewable by other SMs. They may have old SM friends who they keep in touch with on the site; it might be an asshole trap (anyone who messages after they specify no SMs can be safely ignored because they don't read the profile) etc. Couples put up a profile to benefit themselves, not necessarily to benefit us random SMs.
BigBlackArm - this site doesn’t allow disabling of messages from singles without blocking them. We like to browse profiles and if someone piques her interest then we’ll reach out. That’s what we mean when we say we’ll contact you. It tries to avoid the carpet bombing c&p messages.
I also come across a lot of profiles that say single guys don't message us we'll message you that doesn't make any sense so you want guys to not message you at all on an open public website and then you get upset when they send you a message how about you disable messages from single guys until you're ready to meet a single guy
gtrguy, so correct age range, correct sexuality, distance is good, is what you think checks all the boxes? Once again, that just shows you want any and everything. You may not be the ‘look’ they like. You don’t have public photos. You may look like her brother or uncle. I can go on and on with a ton of reasons why they may not desire you. One last bit of advice, you are the literal definition of thirsty. Sorry to be so blunt, but many in here have explained all this to you. I truly feel this has all been shared with you, to help you. Best wishes in your search.
@BigBlackArm: It's even more bizarre when you are exactly what a couple says they want in their profile, you send pics, a brief friendly message and they either don't respond, or politely decline....hmm.
Correct age range, correct sexuality, distance is good, checks all the boxes, but nope....I don't get it.
Some people talk a good game when hiding behind a keyboard. Who knows how many "couples" are guys with a partner they hope to persuade to play.
Many bi guys that are part of a couple ask to play and meet first man on man...I politely decline and tell them I will meet (socially) over a drink or coffee with all parties. If we're all on board, sure MM play would be fine, and eventual couple play might be nice too, that doesn't fly either. 98% bllshtters online it seems....
It's funny how a lot of couples have these criteria for messaging them let me know short messages etc but when I get reply from couples most messages are "hi" "hello" or "thank you" . Barely any interaction at all. Couples don't even follow some of their own standards it blows my mind lol.
Cut and paste introduction messages are always obviously cut and paste.
One wouldn't expect a strong closing ratio using that method.
Cut and paste is the problem. LS people are surprisingly savvy about knowing when they receive an impersonal message, no matter how polite and respectful it may be. And an impersonal message isn't appealing to most folks. People want to feel special, they want to feel like you reached out to them because they are unique and sexy. They don't want to feel like "Prospect Number 38".
Yes, that means a rather large investment of time. But them's the breaks.
@KandKfun: I appreciate everyone's feedback, however let me qualify things: I write ONLY people in the proper age range, proper sexual preferences, within a reasonable distance. I bought a 90 day membership. I was here before (years ago), and returned to find not much has changed. While I actually DID meet some nice people here (they are no longer here btw), and I don't view my e-mails as a "carpet-bombing". I simply cut and paste a simple introduction and take my chances. Again, It's not a blanket mailing to anyone and everyone, it's actually quite selective, based on potential compatibility. I won't waste anyone's time nor my own, chasing 20 or 30 year old people, or people I'm simply not aligned-with.... but thanks for the feedback, none the less.
gtrguy, “ I sent out a bunch of introduction e-mails” tells us all we need to know. You aren’t serious on all of them, you just carpet bomb and see which ones hit. The good singles guys that feel they get a bad rap, have you to thank. Now you can blast us in your reply, or you can take what we said to heart. The choice is yours.
No clue who that contemptible cur was, but half the statement is true. ;)
"because this is the home of slutty women who must fuck them."
It isnt?? Well, that's disconcerting. Some contemptible cur lied to me.
I'm glad you get my point, but you don't really actually get my point. The number of men who, instead of taking a polite no as an answer - and your suggestion isn't actually a no, so it invites more conversation, which is not a particularly welcome response - respond with the sort of nonsense noted two messages from yours, is large. As is the number of people who send one word intros.
You are not entitled to a response in any case, because you don't get to decide whose time you have a claim on, but you're also in an environment where not only are women and couples inundated with messages, they're inundated with poor quality messages and messages from guys who think they're entitled to pussy because this is the home of slutty women who must fuck them.
Until you understand why most people don't respond to 99% of the messages they get, you won't actually get my point.
However, you will slightly increase your response rate by having quality public photos and, if your tagline is a guide, turning 'discrete' into discreet.'
@goodgollymsmolly98226
I totally get your point, but again, just write a message like "thanks for writing, but we're buried with responses and will reach out if interested".
Period, done, end of story. It literally takes two seconds to kick it out there and not be rude.
