Continuing or Ongoing Contact

Like others, The male half does the majority of the communicating. We aren’t into endless emails, aren’t into KiK or other apps, and definitely prefer to progress to a meeting quickly because (like Molly) its all about the Chemistry.

There is no way to tell if you’ll find another couple desirable until you have a chance to meet. I (Mr C) have actually said “No” on first meeting only to become a solid “Yes” because of my playmates personality. Doesn’t matter if you’re a 10 by popular standards, if you’re a zero inside you’re of no interest to us

MSMOLLY - :) No, I didn't take it as a slam. That's the beauty of the forums, you ask a question you get an answer. As individuals in a group of like minded adults, we don't expect everyone to think just like we do. All points of view are valued.

AandJ & E&B, that makes three of us where the wife doesn't text. She is similar to your wives that she is an in person gal. She does however charge me with doing my best to make sure outside of pictures and profile text, we are going to be a good match. It sounds (as usual) I'm over analyzing things. It just continues to strike me as odd, as an example that you make a date with a couple for two weeks out. During that entire two week period the communication is pretty close to zero. And in my experience and only my experience, it seems to be the husbands that seem to lack good flirting / communication skills.

Sounds like it's a me thing and that's OK. As a 90% work from home person, they keyboard is critical to communications.

As always, appreciate the points of view!!

I've been doing this a long time, alone or as part of a couple. I'm always the point of contact, for a lot of reasons, including that I type fast. I can tolerate some conversation prior to meeting, but it's also a waste of my time because I don't know if I or we will be attracted until that first in person meeting.

Why invest resources in something that might not happen? Especially when I get nothing out of it (I flirt with any and every one, in person, but strangers on line? No.).

This isn't a slam on the OP - I'm sure you're lovely and well worth the time - but anyone who wants more than a little bit of my attention prior to meeting qualifies as not a good fit and I pass. I'd rather spend my time maintaining my existing relationships with people I already know and care about.

E&B - that's exactly how we work.

We should start a group!

Everyone is different. For us this can also be problematic.

Mrs AandJ is not into texting, chatting etc. She much prefers the face to face flirting and also says "Mom's don't have time to text."

That leads to her not being interested or available for online chatting etc. Which has led many to take that as a lack of interest on her part. Which is not accurate in many cases.

This is more of a couples to couples post versus couples to singles. We admit this is not a new phenomenon but of late it seems to be getting worse....at least in our experience. So you've made it past the first contact and agree that at a near point in the future all four of you should get together. You've made it past the we like you, do you like us stage LOL. Then communication seems to slow to a crawl. For purposes of full disclosure, this is the Mr typing.

Now we enjoy some flirting and exploration before meeting in person. Doesn't matter if it's texting, sexting, using one of the popular messaging apps or even site emails. For us it comes down to engagement. Before we slide in the sheets we enjoy sharing and receiving some advance knowledge of what the other couple enjoys and even what they don't enjoy. Something you want to try? Something you want to enjoy again? What does she enjoy most? What does he enjoy most?

I don't enjoy generalizing.....but I will. It seems to me (Mr) that husbands have the most difficult time communicating on that personal of a level. Me? I want to share with the other husband as much information as I can to ensure my wife enjoys the experience and vice versus. Perhaps we are just over communicators......but when it comes to swinging, don't think that's a bad thing.

Maybe I'm just bitching, certainly not asking for advice as we will continue to communicate often and intimately. I guess I'm just asking the question. Has this been your (the collective your) experience as well?