Profile Sandpits

I’m thinking your memory may be starting to fade, which is why I am glad to hear an updated inspection is due next month.

;^D

~S~

"My conclusion? People are just more respectful of other couples and tend to treat SMs as a piece of meat."

Now Scamp, when thinking of fond days in NOLA, your piece of meat comes to mind often. As I recall, it was quite the generous portion. And such a Purdy package. ;^0

"In the ten years I was on the site as a SM, I never sent an unsolicited dick pic but was frequently asked to provide “proof of package”. <snip> Now, as part of a couple, I rarely get asked for dick pics."

One more plank in my contention that it's men asking for those photos and that it has something to do with competition, with or without a side of wanting to be titillated by humiliation. It's not nearly as compelling in the competitive sense if the guy has a woman of his own, even if he is sporting 10 inches. Not that I'm saying you are. Or would want to.

"I feel the same about va-jay-jays. Well, okay, there have been a couple times I let the female know how pretty it was while up close, but I think it may have been because I was under the influence..."

Heh. Exactly. Once other people's bits are in the immediate vicinity, they're fucking gorgeous. It's the damn photos. That's a no across the gender spectrum for me.

In the ten years I was on the site as a SM, I never sent an unsolicited dick pic but was frequently asked to provide “proof of package”. My guess is that the couples writing were only interested in the size, not how “pretty” it looked.

Now, as part of a couple, I rarely get asked for dick pics.

My conclusion? People are just more respectful of other couples and tend to treat SMs as a piece of meat. Perhaps this has conditioned some SMs to assume all will want to see dick pics?

~S~

“Because penises aren't pretty. Just useful.”

GGMM: I feel the same about va-jay-jays. Well, okay, there have been a couple times I let the female know how pretty it was while up close, but I think it may have been because I was under the influence of “chicken”.

~Allen

Lol!

Actually you can (make this sh** up).

There's a jolly fella from Vegas who does it nonstop. Don't believe me? Just wait. He'll show up over here eventually.

And just like the dick pics, he'll be uninvited.

"Just nope on the unsolicited photos"

I make it clear when talking to a couple, that they are talking to the male half and yet they still feel the need to send a half dozen dick pics. SMDH

"But IF I had 10 inches probably get arrested showing it off :)~"

Oh, hell, that made me laugh and now I will go into full derail mode. For which I take full responsibility. ;-)

I answer even the stupid emails, including the one last week where, in addition to a train wreck of bad syntax and worse clichés, the guy attached a photo of his dick, which looked remarkably like the post multiple lies version of Pinocchio's nose. Thanks so much but we wouldn't be a match. Also, you do realize I'm 5' 2", right? Since I don't actually have a pocket universe in my pussy, that would land somewhere near my collarbone. Plus, I just checked and nope, I don't actually need any closet rods. Good luck in your search and maybe try taller women.

Just to be clear, since men seem to be remarkably sensitive to the fact that the dick pic they're sending is not going to send you into paroxysms of joy, I quite like cocks. Just nope on the unsolicited photos. Also, I'm never ever going to ask for one, even one I know and adore. Or if I do, I probably need an MRI.

"Are dicks and pussies attractive?"

I can't speak about the former, but put me in the yes column on the latter.

Why a guy may send a dick pic:

In some degree, the size of a man’s penis sets him apart as a preferred lover. Most profiles, that mention a size preference, will indicate a particular range in which potential male partners must be in to be considered.

In the LS, a good number of women seek a well endowed man for fantasy purposes

I wouldn’t say that all men send dick pics to unsuspecting individuals for the hell of it, however I do believe some, as Ms. Molly mentioned earlier, do it to warn potential playmates of their endowment. Some women are not too keen with taking something that is 7in and up. Not knowing ahead of time can make sex uncomfortable and no one wants uncomfortable sex. But others do it to gain the attention of potential partners.

Are dicks and pussies attractive?

To each their own. For some it may not be the sight of the private area, that they like per se. For example: after having a good night of sex with a partner, later on your partner sends you a pic of their pussy/dick/breasts/ass/. You get turned because the sight of it brings back memories and before you know it you’re sending each other body pics. For others it may be the anticipation leading up to intercourse. Seeing it builds on the sensations you’re waiting to experience.

Not everyone is wired the same, and being mindful is key. Some females want to know beforehand, what a guy is working with, while others may not care at all. I can say personally, I’ve been asked about sending pics of that manner to verify myself for potential partners; but I maybe a different case.

It’s a thin line. As a woman, you may want a nice sized partner but you may not want to be reminded of it constantly or you maybe the type to genuinely like those pics. Again, everyone has their own thing that gets their wheels churning.

HV

I never use knives. A Wartenberg wheel is as far as I ever go...

I really don't get why little boys are fascinated by their penises or why that fascination doesn't go away for a ridiculously large percentage of men. Still don't want the damn photos. Because penises aren't pretty. Just useful. ;-)

You've made my point for me three times now, MsMolly. I'm gonna leave it alone. ;^D

(put that knife away...we can talk this out!)

"But, I maintain that all of this is due to a basic difference in the nature of women and men, not that one genital is pretty and other is not."

If women were sending me pussy pics, I guarantee I'd also be loudly broadcasting that crotch shots aren't art. But they don't.

I'm not sure where to split the difference here on nature vs. nurture, here.

I have three brothers, three nephews and a son. They were all ridiculously fascinated by their penises and every single one of them had to be told on multiple occasions that no, they could not take them out and play with them when other people were around. I also have two sisters, four nieces and a daughter. It's not that they never masturbated (a four year old who discovers if you touch that right there it feels really good is likely to tell you about it), but they never ever did it in public and weren't fascinated by their business.

"How many women introduce themselves with a photo of their pussies?"

You'll get no argument from me on that one, but that gets to another matter entirely that you and I have not yet resolved to its conclusion elsewhere. :^D

And let me say, if women routinely introduced themselves in that mannor, they would receive a very different response from the men than that which the dick pics usually get.

But, I maintain that all of this is due to a basic difference in the nature of women and men, not that one genital is pretty and other is not.

Whether you and I agree on the root cause (pun/entendre intented), we completely agree that guys would increase their chances exponentially if they'd just keep the camera away from their crotches.

"How many women introduce themselves with a photo of their pussies?"

You'll get no argument fromantic me on that one, but that gets to another matter entirely that you and I have not yet resolved to its conclusion elsewhere. :^D

"As for dicks not "being pretty," I have basically the same reaction to that as I did to a poster who recently said that "pussy's were ugly" as he explained why he preferred them to be covered with hair."

How many women introduce themselves with a photo of their pussies?

Do you think there might be a reason so many men proudly send photos of their business, other than a misapprehension about the aesthetic appeal of penises? And I can't think of any possible curative for the problem other than loudly broadcasting that dicks are not, in fact, pretty. Not saying I don't appreciate the hell out of them when I'm in temporary possession of one or more, just that they aren't art and shouldn't be transmitted over the airwaves.

I want to come back more specifically to a general comment I made earlier.

Though I take a little humorous exception to a few things already mentioned, I wholeheartedly agree that it's best to avoid all of the "I don't wants" and just stick to defining the things that you do want.

I am totally OK with everyone's preferences no matter if they involve looks, race, sexual orientations, or any other thing imaginable (apart from that which creates victims).

Sex is far too intimate of a thing for me to start telling anyone who they should or should not discriminate against when deciding who they'll fuck.

That said, bigotry nauseates me. So does hypocrisy. If you have it, it's far better that you keep it under wraps as best you can.

If your profile either in part or as a whole is in ALL CAPS. We will pass.

If you use sarcasm in your profile to excess, we will pass.

Although we are avid hunters and shooters even we don't care to see dead animals in your pics unless mounted on the wall.

If you have a real "Machine gun" by definition, please, by all means we would like to see it!

I couldn't agree more with all but one of those.

And, for the record, I find it particularly exciting if a lady's thighs jiggle a little...but that's just me.

As for dicks not "being pretty," I have basically the same reaction to that as I did to a poster who recently said that "pussy's were ugly" as he explained why he preferred them to be covered with hair.

I just disagree with both...respectfully.

That being said, I totally agree that photos of your cock and/or crotch closeups are absolutely no way to represent yourself in general, let alone to use as an introduction.

If those are present they are best kept in a person gallery with a benign cover pic so that they are only seen if desired.

My 2 cents.

I'll be repeating some of what VelmaandShaggy said, because the duplication bears repeating.

• No bi males. Fine, you do you, but I won't. It's not contagious and if your purported concerns are about safety, then you do the same thing you do with everyone else if you're smart, which is ask about sexual practices. I don't want barebackers or glory hole players of any gender, do you?

• Anything to do with race, for or against. I will even red flag you for mentioning that you're white if you have a photo in your profile.

• Zero on the weight. I don't actually care what you weigh and I'm more often attracted to bigger women anyway, but I want you to rock the body you have without wondering if you're being distracted by thoughts of the way your thighs jiggle while we fuck.

• No photos of him. Same reasons, plus I don't like it when men use women as bait.

• Negativity. Please don't use your inside voice in public or be so clueless as to think your bitching is fit for public consumption.

• Dick pics, unless they're for the purpose of providing a warning that you're not average. I just assume you're really excited about your penis and don't really understand that while useful, dicks aren't actually pretty.

• More than a typo or two. I don't care once we get to the texting stage, but profiles and emails require some care and if they don't get it, I assume you're sloppy and not good at details, so that's a nope.

• A narrow age range, particularly on the top end. If that's less than 10 years older than you, that's an automatic ejection even if I fit. You're so insecure that you're afraid you're trading down.

• Unicorn hunters. Nope. I don't care if the profile is a thousand words all about how it's her fantasy, I will assume he's insecure and can't be in the same room as another cock.

• NO SINGLE MALES. Yeah, fine, I get dick pics and stupid emails too, but use the block function and STFallthewayU.

• Shallowness. I can't define it, but I recognize it when I see it. Sometimes it's hot 'n fit, sometimes it's other things. But it's a definite red flag.

There's probably more, but that's off the top of my head.

I agree with that, but I'll add another line I see often. "If we want you we'll find you."

That's a big turn off for us even if it's a couple contacting our couple's profile.

In my view, it's completely acceptable not to be interested in one group or another. Just turn your profile off to that group.

But, when you use a phrase like that above, it sounds as though you're telling the group to just stand in the corner until you're ready to choose. Can't get much more pretentious than that in my book.

We've even been contacted by the male half of couple's with such a line in their profile, while asking to play with Lady or us.

Delete.

No pics of the male is a big red flag. No pics of the male usually means that they are out of shape, ugly, or both.

Ditto for 50 picture of the lady in the same clubwear pose. I get it. You got lucky and married a hot girl. But again, you are probably ugly, out of shape, or both.

Anything racist is a big red flag even the "we prefer to stay within our own race." That stuff makes my skin crawl.

Any pictures with a gun or a fish. Skeet shooting is okay I guess. But I don't need to see a dead deer or your machine gun collection. In this political climate, best to keep guns at the gun range and off of your profile.

Anyone who feels the need to voice their political opinions - no matter what their political spectrum. Swinging and politics don't mix.

Boobs and butts is a big red flag. If you don't have full body pics of both partners, I'm not going to be interested. Ditto dick pics for the most part.

Any profile text that is negative or talks about what you don't want. Drama city.

Any text like this: "We are a hot, fit couple looking for other hot, fit couples." It's a red flag because usually the people posting shit like that might look good in a swimsuit, but try to keep up on a bike ride with me and we'll see who's fit real quick, People like that usually just want to show off how hot an unattainable they are. Not worth your time.

We used to have several threads that talked about the frequent red flags, off-putting aspects, or just things to avoid. The recent purging of old threads have done away with that so I thought it might be worth getting that collection back together.

I understand that very few will possibly read such things, but for those who will it can be a good resource to hear the different points of view. It might also make things a little easier for the few who regularly try to help with profile requested critiques by having something to refer the requester to on some topics rather than having to constantly write the same advice time and again.