Is There an Assumption

My experiences tell me... The SM who are most successful in the LS have the same social skills necessary to be successful in the bar scene. For the successful (and fun) ones it is not just about getting laid. The chase, the flirting, providing joy, the parties all make up part of the LS that is very different than what I see in the singles bar/dating world. Once you have partied in the LS... the bar scene is just not as edgy.

imagine...… "I met this smoking hottie last night.... and her Husband bought me a drink and said we should go dance". Just doesn't happen in a typical bar.

Mr.

Sure, SOME folks have that assumption about SMs... or SFs. Not all, but some. However, there's nothing I can do to change their mind about their assumptions, and I don't bother trying. Anyone with that assumption isn't going to consider me as a play partner in the first place, so they're irrelevant when it comes to sex play. Doesn't necessarily mean they are bad people, but I have better places to put my energy. Just move on and enjoy the company of those who want to spend time with you.

As a single guy I can say I have never had a problem getting laid from bars etc.

I'm on here because I like the lifestyle and the openness and honesty that goes with it... there are far less game players on here than in bars or clubs etc... we all know why we are here, to have great sexual experiences and good times with good people.

Many women in the bars and clubs expect exclusive commitment after a short time, especially if they have sex, even when you say your just looking for casual dates.

I agree with Mo. Many of the singles that I have met as a couple or as a single are busy professionally or not looking for a lifetime commitment. They are all amazing guys and could have relationships outside the LS.

Oh, I know. :-D

You know I couldn't resist that, right? ;^D

I think they're lovely when they're in the room with me. ;-)

@Scamp: I tend to agree with you that as a person ages they seem to be looking for more, or a least different, than what they might have been in the market for at an earlier age.

I guess my earlier question grew out of the way the OP worded the question(s).

While I wouldn't assume that a guy on this site can't get laid, I would assume that he's not getting laid as much (or in the way) as he wants to get laid...whatever that is.

To that end, I do make the assumption that the typical guy on this site is here to get laid. Now, what getting laid means to each one is going to be very different.

" I'm filtering out those who think...swinging is filled with easy women who will happily jump on their dicks..."

And unpretty dicks at that! Lol

"If a guy (or gal) is here just trying to get laid, is that a bad thing?"

I'm pretty sure that's why I'm here. I've developed an alternate social circle as a result, but that is more of an inevitable bonus than a goal. The reason I question those men who approach me is that I'm filtering out those who think swinging is a way to get laid without doing any work, whose assumption is that swinging is filled with easy women who will happily jump on their dicks without their having to do anything. I mean, yeah, that miiiight happen, but it helps to have social skills and an actual appreciation for women.

Good point Tramp, that isn’t a bad thing at all!

I’ll admit my comment was a generalization based on our experience and not all young guys are selfish nor are mature guys always more about giving.

We make the point in our profile that if all a guy wants is to get laid, go to Bourbon Street. We want guys who are into fulfilling fantasies, theirs and ours.

~S~

Now I have a question.

If a guy (or gal) is here just trying to get laid, is that a bad thing?

Just curious.

I think there probably are some singles that just can't get laid but being single I appreciate people being open and taking the time to find out. You can usually tell. That's not the case for me or all. It's a lifestyle, fantasies, meeting people etc. Not everyone in this world is into it but people on sls are. Just like normal life you have to filter through the bs.

OP: No is our simple answer; this is without going into all those possibly lengthy variables why a SM would otherwise be here.

~Allen

I assume young SMs are just looking to get laid while more mature guys are fulfilling fantasies of group sex, hotwife, orgies etc.

I also tend to believe that younger guys are in it for themselves, mature guys are in it for MUTUAL fantasy fulfillment.

YMMV

~S~

Single men have a deal killer. That is why they are single.

Nope. I do question the single guys who contact me about why they've chosen swinging instead of going to a bar. "I thought it would be easier (to get pussy)" is the answer I do not want, but I make no assumptions ahead of time.

I just have a simple question for anyone who cares to answer it:

When you see a single guy on SLS, is there an assumption that he has real trouble getting laid in ordinary life, and that he has a profile here because he’s hoping to get laid more?