Why is this so hard?

well, I know our logistics make meeting hard. Because of our situation, we can only meet in the daytime during the week..sooo..hard..we have had some good times, but far and few between.

I think the SLS site has become more of a social networking site than a site to actually hook up. I'm not saying that it doesn't happen, and I'm sure that it does, but not as often as one might think. My take is that the real meeting for the purpose of hooking up happens at swinger parties. Then you immediately know if there is an attraction or not and if you want to pursue it further. No guessing or mailing back and forth. Admit it, this entire lifestyle is mostly about the physical attraction anyway. Sure there are the weirdos who are an instantaneous turn off, but for the most part they are pretty nice people. At parties, you can accomplish in 5 minutes what this site accomplishes in days or weeks.

Your going to interact with a lot of weirdo’s in this lifestyle. Be patient in your search is the best advice I can give on this.

You get a line and I'll get a pole, honey

You get a line and I'll get a pole babe (everybody sing along)

. . . I sure can agree with the newness wearing off. But what to do with all these purty costumes and dresses . . . well, maybe one more month, maybe.

Although, I’m admittedly more prone to use the bicycle Taxie things than I am to a walking tour of the Garden District these days!

Should I live to be a hundred, I’d likely never get bored of NOLA.

We certainly hope your desire for travel hasn’t waned, Camelot awaits.

Well, now that you mentioned a pole, turns out I don’t have any of those either.

I gave all of my fishing stuff to my kids a few years back, since I hadn’t found time to go in nearly 30 years.

I did mess around and bought a boat about a month ago, and had the very best of intentions too. But alas, thus far I’ve only been able to look at it when I go outside for a smoke break while doing school work.

Need to go buy a pole or two along with the tackle box thing. If there’s one thing I hate, it’s starring at my new boat with no tackle box or fishin’ poles.

...just as long as you don't have to go by yourself a pole...

Now, should you ever need to borrow one for Lady's use... Well, I know this guy... ;-)

BT

Familiarity breeds contempt.

That’s a time-tested saying that’s true for most activities, swinging is no exception.

Lady and I have reached a position of what I call semi-retirement where the swinging thing is concerned. We remain open to the possibility, should it present itself, but we no longer seek it out.

That’s not because we believe anyone or any thing has changed in any real way. To the contrary, I find other people to be pretty much as they’ve always been IMV.

However, at 60 years old, I just don’t have the drive/desire that I had at 30 where this game is concerned, and neither does my wife.

We are both content with our location in life and believe we are exactly where we’d expect to be (sexually) at our age.

I believe that it’s perfectly normal for the newness of something like this to wane over time and/or with age.

I understand that there will be plenty who will need to let us know that they are in their 60s or 70s and still goin’ strong, and that’s just wonderful.

As for me, while I remain open to possibilities, if faced with the opportunity for a rare chance to go fishing or one to meet for a potential fuck...I’ll get my tackle box together.

(matter of fact, I will have to go buy a tackle box)

Michigan1218, I would say that it is changing, I guess everything changes. When we first got involved in the lifestyle it was very exciting for us also. The first time we played with a couple we felt so liberated, the feeling was great. I guess we have become more 'in our eyes' mature, we won't just play with a couple just because. We are more picky, we like to have an attraction, both physical and mental. On the other hand, to us the lifestyle seems to have changed in the last couple of years when it come to all the Bi men and women, people requiring girl girl play. Some things we just have to shake our heads at, and wonder wtf. But people are different, everyone has their likes and dislikes, and to each their own. Will we continue with the lifestyle? Yes we will, but we are picky for us and for what ever reason we don't seem to draw the attention the last couple of years. You gotta do what is right for you.

I’m starting to dislike this lifestyle after being involved for about 2yrs. It seems like this lifestyle is changing and my exciting feelings are depleting. The excitement just isn’t there anymore. Has anyone else felt it depleting and yet you still continue to partake? Like routine!

Its not so much the couple being straight as we are. Its that most bi couples the women only play and the men watch and then fuck their other half only.

Its getting bizarre, i have seen men cry, real tears in the eyes, when their women say no touching and have a lesbian orgy with the husbands forced to watch.

Qapla, we also have the same issues. Perhaps it is because you are both Straight just like us.

"semisweet, this in no way is meant to make fun of you or to imply you’re fake (~rabbit~)

No harm done. We are 2 teflon covered babies. :) It was fun to read about your idea of stickers and photoshop in number as needed. We are too lazy for that. :) Plus I spend no more than a few minutes in photoshop in post processing - never learned and no plans.

Generally "Why is this so hard?" isn't necessarily a bad thing in the LS. I'd go so far to say there's probably a number of people who were wishing something was a lot harder over the weekend. Too bad you can't take a pill to make getting to the shenanigans easier, right?

OP: You can keep doing things your way, but you're almost certainly going to get the same results. Take the advice, switch up to a new profile, and get a fresh start.

Start from scratch on your profile while you're at it. Your profile is an expression of you (both of you) and your ability to communicate, not just with the world, but each other. If your profile is intentionally written to turn certain people off, that's fine. If that ISN'T your goal and the profile turns us off, we won't bother looking at the pics unless it's from morbid curiosity.

As for us, we wouldn't bother reading the profile past "0 lbs". It's not that weight is an issue...it's the fact you don't own it. You're hiding something from the get-go, and we won't give you a chance to hide a second thing from us, much less play "hide the weasel" with us.

Is that right, or fair? Neither...it's life. We all have our "things", be they good or bad, and you can't change that. You can rail against the wrongs you've suffered and the people who caused them, or you can shout a hearty "FUCK THEM" and move on.

What you CAN do is look at the profiles that get your attention, and figure out why. Look at the ones that turn you off, and figure out why. Learn from both! Take all that, and write a profile that makes the two of you want to meet yourselves all over again. If you can put up some pictures and a profile that makes you want to fuck each other, there's a pretty good chance a reader will feel the same way.

On a related note, get out to some meet-and-greets, or resorts, or hotel take-overs. We have unexpectedly encountered couples in person whom we've previously turned down online, and ended up having a wonderful time with them. Their profile didn't get our attention, but their personalities did.

Swinging is almost dead. Its getting hard to find couples that are into full swap. The violent sex that is porn today has made women not like sex with men.

Baby. You know I’m good at photoshop.

We need to take the pics with just a blank sheet of paper and I can photoshop anything we want on it.

Damn! Why didn’t I think of this earlier and photoshop myself some bigger boobs?!

Btw semisweet, this in no way is meant to make fun of you or to imply you’re fake. You two are obviously hot and need to visit Nola!

~rabbit~

That’s fine, but I’ll need to preview the pics, of course. 8^O

Great pics Semi-sweet. Gave me the inspiration to take some pictures today with "2023" labels on them.

;^D

~S~

“So the profile has been there all this time but until recently we never paid much attention to it.”

And there is one of the answers to your original question: “why is this so hard?”

You are not the only one who creates a profile and then basically ignores it...for eight years.

Qapla, I can share our attitude to this "problem".

1. Take it easy. If LS replies/rejections impact your self-balance so much, that might indicate you depend on it and have a problem beyond LS. For us LS is just an optional "salsa" for the dinner. Whatever does not match/work/mesh - we are not even 1% impacted.

1. Do not over analyze. There are 35921 reasons why people do this or that. Is it really worth digging into all of them? If it works - it works, if it does not - it does not. Just accept the fact that in 80% of cases it does not work, and move on, why should you care...

To give you an answer . . .

People are great at making excuses NOT to have sex. Their reasons could range anywhere from they don't like you, to they are looking for the next bigger better deal or life could have gotten in the way. In essence, their agenda and your agenda didn't align. Finding people with the same agenda is hard and when you do, it's awesome!

Interesting. I didn't know people paid money to set up a fake profile. Fake Profiles are the reason we block non paying members. I created the original profile but my wife recently rewrote the description. My wife put honest information in here and it looks fake. Your solution is to create a new profile which will look just like this one with a new create date. Isn't that being fake? I get the thing about the pictures though. We don't usually contact people that doesn't have a couples picture, even if it is disguised.

I viewed your profile,looked at pics and certs first. One cert 8 yrs ago. Then I read the profile,and immediately was bothered. You have been on this site for 8years, and you don't know what you are looking for? You claim to be new to the lifestyle but have an aged profile. How do we even know your ages are correct? Your profile needs a serious update, including g recent pics. Or start a new profile to reflect your newness in the lifestyle.
I read that profile and thought, either they don't care that it looks like they are lying, or they haven't updated. Either way, the profile does not really create interest in 8 yr newbies