Meet and Greets

On the subject of encouraging the new or shy, I was shocked to experience this at my first private party.
Not shocked in a bad way, it was great. But shocked in that every other new thing I have ever joined, it takes awhile before you are accepted . Usually there is one very outgoing person that shows you around and gets you started.
But at the party I went to , many would just make a comment about the weather, or whatever, in passing but many times regulars were having a conversation and they would turn to me and include me in the conversation.
It is a great feeling and I really appreciate those that make the effort to do it.
I think we all have an instinct to shun people we do not know as some kind of self preservation.

First, that is creepy as fuck.
I'm a single male and even if a woman did that to me I would still find it creepy as fuck.
And telling you he saw you leave alone? That is horror movie shit.
I cant believe some guys are like this. Even if I talked to you at the party and we got along and I was leaving the party and saw you leaving, I STILL wouldn't approach. I know you would not be comfortable because now you are alone, not like when I spoke to you.
As for leaving the group to encourage a meet and greet, we guys learn when we are young, never approach the herd. Only approach the strays. We know we can't get through the force field her friends set up

hotluvrs - We do well at engaging people in conversations, but it is extremely rare that we attend meet & greets these days. If/when we have time to attend an event, we'd much rather go to an on-prem party. Like many, we have limited play time due to other obligations, so when we do have free time, we prefer to spend it at a venue that gives us a much better chance of playing with others.

At any venue though, we definitely try to pull others into a group conversation, and we do keep an eye out for people that are unintentially disengaged. Many of the people that we are naturally attracted to and vice versa do the same. Even if people aren't at a venue to play, they are there to meet people and some are just too shy or scared to engage. Sometimes we are well rewarded for the effort by finding new friends and play partners. Worst case is we spent time having a nice conversation.

I wish more people would follow Lovemeknot's example and be more aware and empathetic about other people's shyness. I suck at it, but my wife is terrific. She's always looking to include others and is an expert at finding something to talk about with almost everyone.

LoveMeKnot..I like your plan of breaking off from a group to present yourself in a less “intimidating” manor to encourage other to try a talk with you. As an introverted single male just starting out in the lifestyle, it is very difficult to approach a group of people that already have a rapport with each other. I feel like I’m intruding on a private conversation, and that just feels like it’s rude to the others.

I went to a vanilla meet & greet a couple of weeks ago (my first one), and all I saw was people come in, scan the room and recognize someone that they already knew. Then that group spent all their time together. Occasionally a group would swap members given that there were common acquaintances between them. I just felt like an outsider.

I went to my second one yesterday. It was smaller, but a few people did break off to chat with those that were new, or seemed to be on the outside looking in as it were. I felt welcomed and was able to open up a little and have some conversations, even join a small group to talk.

Lovemeknot: “ So I make it a point to break away from the group a few times… do a few laps alone, stand at the bar alone etc. I figure that way if someone wants to introduce themselves, it’s less intimidating”

…polite, yet prolonged golf clap…

Thank you for making the extra effort and also thank you for caring enough to be aware of the social dynamics of the room.

I don't understand why people on here attack other people and I just see it with couples.

These are very difficult questions because everyone deals with these problems their own way. Or avoid so there won't be a problem. As a single female I do not attend meet and greets because I meet and greet at House Parties. If I attend any kind of an event I have an escort could be male or female friend.

Yeah we saw your post on FB about this ... that was quite the discussion!!! If it were only one guy, I would think maybe he wasnt paying attention to you when you did one of your breakaway solo laps around the place ... but 3??!! ... But I get it, I have a hard time approaching ppl too, especially if they are in the middle of a convo with somebody.

To add to LMK.. and for "us".. those kind of guys who are creepy and dont come out to chat and meet you are NOT worth anyone's time!

Same as on SLS with poorly written profiles, no photos but send an IM they can send photos at a phone number or additional website .. that would be a NO!

While I often use SLS and Fet to meet potential play partners, I prefer local Meet & Greets, as well as clubs, private parties etc. to meet people in person. I’m fortunate to live in an area where there are several. As a SF, there’s a safety factor involved with meeting people in a public place, with friends around.

So the other evening I go to an established M&G… one I tend to frequent monthly, with many current LS friends. I understand that approaching a total stranger to introduce yourself may be intimidating, especially if they’re talking within a group. So I make it a point to break away from the group a few times… do a few laps alone, stand at the bar alone etc. I figure that way if someone wants to introduce themselves, it’s less intimidating.

When I got home that evening, I had three messages on SLS from three different guys saying they “saw me there.” Never said a word there. But was ok messaging me after the fact. I’m sorry, but that’s just creepy. It’s called a “Meet & Greet.” I actually posted about it on the Event FB group, and it started a discussion about social anxiety etc. So, ok, maybe some folks have a hard time approaching a total stranger. So why attend if you’re not planning on doing either Meet nor Greet?

Anyway, one of the guys did ask why I left so early (I was there almost 3 hours) and he saw me walk to my car alone. So that scared me enough that I will now always have an escort back to my car. That’s on me for letting my guard down.

My point is, if you take the time to go to an event where the objective is to meet people in person, perhaps you should try to, oh I dunno, meet people in person.

~LMK~