Guidelines for Us

Well said Some.. exactly!

Its that easy!

We started BECAUSE we were secure in knowing each others boundaries. We didn't need lists of rules because we had already long established healthy interdependency and respect for each others' autonomy, as well as respect for where and why the lines are. We also know each other well enough to know when to back off on behalf of the other. NOBODY gets to have sexy fun time with ANYBODY else without 100% interest. The whole concept of "taking one for the team" for example, is gross. Have respect for the other people. They are not objects. We are not objects.

When we started, we had a lot of rules, definitely too many.

As we learned more and grew more comfortable with what we both enjoy, we relaxed most of them. Our main rule, is that we both are safe while playing, meaning personal physical safety. I, hubby, usually meet guys or couples with her for a couple of dates or even more. After we all feel comfy, we all have total freedom to meet, play, have coffee, and so on with no restrictions. It seems difficult to find four people who all click perfectly, thus we've moved to "enjoy the moment" for all and do not require check-ins, permission slips, or hallpasses. Part of the fun of the lifestyle is meeting new people and seeing how they do things. Just enjoy, be safe and sane, and tell the other spouse about it afterward. Seems to be working for us.

When we first started, we had certain rules and signals if we didn't care for the person/people we were meeting with. Now we are just very open and frank with someone. If we don't feel it, we just say so. Regarding being open with each other that is still very important to us both. I may find people to play with and then I will let her know and we take it from there. No secrets. Our swinging life together is amazing and we have had some very hot fun. Getting harder to find with the fakes and creeps but we always have each other.

When you 1st start playing having rules the fit you are really necessary so that you can have a successful swinging adventure. The big ones are open communication. Total honesty, and the rules you set for yourselves before, during and after playing. Now that being said as you get more adventurous and explore more, be aware your rules are going to change as you get more secure and open in your playing. We have been in the lifestyle and playing for 20yrs and most of our original rules are long gone due to total trust and our likes changed or evolved. But honesty about what we like and communication never changed. Everyones rules are different and there is no right or wrong , just what works for you.

When we attend a swingers party, we follow a set of simple rules that help us stay connected and comfortable. First, we always play together as a couple before engaging with anyone else. This strengthens our bond and ensures we feel secure throughout the evening, we prioritize aftercare together, offering each other comfort and support as we process the experience. After we interact with other couples and singles. If either of us is interested in playing with someone else, we discuss it openly to ensure mutual consent and understanding.

Additionally, when I connect with someone online through apps or other platforms, I make sure to let her know right away. This kind of open communication builds trust and makes us both feel more at ease. These guidelines help create a positive and enjoyable atmosphere, enhancing our experiences together.

What simple rules or guidelines do you have with your partners?