'No' is a complete answer

MakeHer - Ditto what GGMM said. I have heard of (unverified) that some have lost their privs to log in for a month or so. If they are doing this to you, then they are doing it to others and if the support people have a written record that shows a trend, it's only going to help everyone to report him.

You have to wonder what is going though some people's mind's. They had to know that when they were pointing out someone you met in Jan that the only way that would be taken is "What a creep." It's as if they actually thought you're going to say, "You know what? You're right. Maybe we should get together."

"Can we report these individuals for abusive language in a seemingly threatening manner?"

Of course. No guarantees that SLS will do anything, but it can't hurt to report him to Customer Service.

We literally just had to block this completely obnoxious dude that went apeshit on us for politely turning him down for a potential meet. We explained that we were not comfortable playing with anyone new because of covid19 and the guy responds with a cert we got in January from someone we have known for over 2 yrs....lol... I mean this person went investigative mode on us and it was very creepy. Can we report these individuals for abusive language in a seemingly threatening manner?

100 inches in Detroit?

I thought that was only a UP number.

How funny.. we love outdoor sex especially in the rain or on a boat.. now cold weather.. not so much.. one from Detroit.. 100 inches of snow..glad you get it

Rustic RV's Cabins Vs Caliente place !

DB - That wasn't really a dig. Most of us would likely have done the same, and if not, I certainly wouldn't blame anyone for responding the way you did. It doesn't really help to lash out, but I definitely get it. Ironically, this woman probably thought she was doing you a favor, which made things that much worse in her mind.

RONKATHY

So does that mean if I invite you to join in on some “outdoor activity “ in the middle of a frozen Minnesota lake, I’m not likely to get a positive response?

DB - completely agree. There is no reason to treat anyone badly in the LS as long as they're being nice. I was a single guy on here for a while and I can relate.

RK - We had a similar experience recently. Some couple approached us at a LS party and although we didn't have to give them a verbal "no," after chatting they could probably tell we weren't clicking with them. Then the guy launches into this spiel about his degrees and executive position trying to impress us. I could have told him all about my more advanced degrees and higher position, but just stood there and let him fizzle out. Ms. Sexy turned to me and laughed after they walked off.

How funny.. we just politely declined to meet a couple at a "Rustic" nude resort in Dawsonville Ga.. and told them its not our cup of tea.. wished them happy new year.. and a great journey.. Caliente is more of what we enjoy.

They then proceed to bombard us with all their alleged property all over USA and in different states.. Hmmm did we miss something.. guess I needed to Bring my tax forms , trading status and Schwab statement to the table.. that gets them a BLOCK!

And there you have it!

MAYHEM8

SEXYNOVA

I will freely admit that it was not one of my finer moments in the lifestyle. As I said in the post, I must have been in a mood for some reason. Maybe I had a bad day on the water and just didn't tolerate criticism very well.

On one hand, I look at it as a lack of self restraint for something that should have affected me like water running off a ducks back. I always make an extra effort to not fit the stereotype, and try to keep all of my postings and correspondence positive in nature.

On the other hand, even though SMs are the cellar dwellers in the lifestyle castle, that doesn't necessarily mean we should be expected to just accept random beratement like we are standing in stocks in the Town Square. There is a chance she had it coming to her.

Since the majority of posts in this thread are from Couples and Single Females, (and I am in no way trying to diminish your experiences or criticize your reasoning), I felt it might help to have the perspective of a non-whiney, non self-deserving Single Male.

I usually have no interest in being part of an organization that would have me as a member, but I’ve made an exception for this wonderful island of misfit toys ;-)

BT

BRIDGETENDER

I agree. After all, they allow me!

We had something similar happen. I don't think they're enforcing that now, possibly because this would be a ghost town if every sensible, prudent person/couple who as put the LS on pause were suddenly put offline.

"Sorry, we are not meeting new people at this time."

we had posted something similar (because of pandemic) in our tagline and sls wanted to take our profile off line

<p><a href="https://www.swinglifestyle.com/profile/lookup.cfm?usercode=50284075">mayhem8</a>,</p>

<p>If I can see and verify the rude behavior, I will take the profile offline. When/if they contact us, we will have them agree that they understand our policies and will be polite to their fellow SLS members in the future and then we will place them back online. If it happens again, we will take further action.</p>

Just curious, but what is the typical impact of reporting rude behavior in terms of action/s SLS takes?

<p><a href="https://www.swinglifestyle.com/profile/lookup.cfm?usercode=59470229">sexynovacpl112</a>,</p>

<p>That is why I stated that you can say something like, "Sorry, we are not meeting new people at this time." That works well right now due to the pandemic and it is not personal. People are free to respond however they wish or not respond, but if negative responses bother someone, they need to try to find ways to mitigate those negative responses by changing their own behavior. Some people will always be rude and you can report those responses to me if you choose.</p>

DB - Love your response to the person. This post doesn't apply to you at all - your post just made me think of something. Another reason a polite "no" without explanation should be respected is that the real reason for the "no" could be something the other person doesn't want to say out of politeness and recipient may not want to hear. For instance, even if it's true, who wants to say or hear "No, we're not interested because we don't go for fat people" or substitute some other adjective for fat - ugly, flat-chested, small-cocked, hillbilly-looking, snooty-looking, etc. Sure some people will say this, but people who care for other's feelings may not want to say this, and just get out of the situation without hurting feelings.

DB - A written defense (or even offense) is a normal reaction to what is viewed as a written attack. The only thing it accomplishes though is to perhaps make the defender feel better. There can there can be a cost associated with that. As you said, you know better now but I can see being what you did as a trap that is soooo easy to fall into.

“ SLS doesn't allow certain characters...” - GGMM

Oh, yes, they do!

BT

I'm hoping this is still relevant to the thread.

Having been in the game since the days of putting a letter in a stamped envelope with the recipients box number on the front, then putting that envelope and $1 into another envelope addressed to_____________________________(for those who may not understand, this was before the interweb and sites like SLS), I have certainly seen my share of rejections. Everything from no response at all(the most common), or "No, Not interested, Sorry", to a very polite response explaining why we are not a match, which is obviously the best one. The response that irritated me the most was one I got until just a couple years ago that said " You look younger than my children. Please contact back when you are a grown adult." But the Grand Daddy of them all is this one.

I was on one of my trips, and came across a Hot Date listing posted by a couple looking for a SM. The posting specifically said "vacationers welcome" The first 2 lines of the posting were "Are there any decent and reliable Single Males left out there? It has been 6 months since we have been able to complete a date." Since I consider myself decent and reliable, I replied to the listing , introducing myself, commenting on their profile, and suggesting a meetup. I also opened up my private photos for them to see.

What I got back was a 3 paragraph diatribe that listed everything wrong with me, (I assume it was from the female half), and offering me "free advice that might help you be successful in the lifestyle." Some of the suggestions were "Get some Grecian Formula, women don't want to have sex with someone who reminds them of their father. Get rid of the facial hair, nobody wants to kiss that. Shave around your cock, nobody would want to touch that gross thing. Get some hard cock pictures in your profile. Women want to see what they are potentially getting."

I guess I must have been in a mood, because instead of my normal "Thank you for taking the time to reply to my communication", I wrote back explaining that I was quite comfortable with my level of lifestyle success, and I really didn't need her advice, free or otherwise. Then my inner knucklehead came out. and my last 2 lines were "I think I fully understand why you haven't had a date in 6 months. I'm also betting you have never had a repeat."

That must have really set her off, because she sent another rant telling me how rude, crude, and unappealing I was, She also told me she was going to turn me in to SLS and have me banned.

Since I am still here stalking people, either it was an idle threat, or SLS decided I didn't need to be put in jail.

I'm feeling so ashamed.

SLS doesn't allow certain characters, so I'll have to write out the whole thing: Alpha does not equal asshole. Or, really, any of that wannabe bullshit more accurately described as toxic masculinity. I'm using a narrower definition that brings together maleness and confidence.

"the more likely answer is that you're both men and quite firm in your conversational style"

There's that too, but only in person. At least I THINK that's how it works. I know HotLuvrs doesn't come across as an Alpha in person...definitely self-assured, but none of the other "ugh" qualities one might traditionally associate with Alphas.

Just you. ;-) (I actually think the more likely answer is that you're both men and quite firm in your conversational style. Other men tend to respond better or at least in a less entitled fashion to alpha men.)

I generally don't stray from some version of 'thanks, but we wouldn't be a match' unless there is a specific reason that it's not working when it otherwise would, like someone otherwise super interesting is too far away for my particular needs.

@CathyNickName - love to hear that. I have been trying to hammer this home for some time. Thanks for doing the right thing!