Hall Passes

We have hall passes but given both our orientations, we typically reserve them for same sex play. We are both comfortable enough to understand and accept that even though we are 100 percent committed to each other, she can't give him the MM contact he wants nor can he give her the FF contact she craves. And while we can sometimes fulfill those desires with a MF couple, it's stupid crazy hard to find a bi MF couple where all 4 feel the same dynamic. As such, it's just easier to find singles to fill that hole.

We have em, but it is extremely rare we use them. We’ll happily talk in advance to the interested people to confirm consent. We won’t play with a someone with a hall pass unless we can confirm consent also.

We're in a open marriage so we try to hook up with others that understand what that means otherwise we just explain it as a 'hall pass', lol. I Mr. OHC have yet had to use that explanation whereas Mrs. OHC has on our playdates outside of SLS.

@VA,

Maybe they will give you a hall pass to answer?

My GF and I have hall passes in accordance with our rules. I don't need to ask ahead of time to play with couples. Nor does she. I will often look for dates on SLS or DL when traveling. She also does not need to ask to play separately with women. This would probably be reciprocal if I had any interest in playing with men which I don't. We always kiss and tell because...enquiring minds want to know. Plus it's hot.

We have talked about the "what if" scenario (meeting a single of the opposite sex who is super sexy and with great chemistry, out of the blue, and without seeking it out) and discussed the possibility of asking for each other for a hall pass in that case. There were three times over my previous 27 year exclusive, monogamous relationship and marriage where I was seriously tempted by an obviously and openly interested other woman, just due to circumstances we fell into. I resisted in all cases. Though honestly, one of them was such a brazen tease that, even now I would probably have thrown her on the bed and done her and told my GF about it later. I'm pretty sure when she heard the details she would say "Well I don't blame you! The little slut was obviously asking for it." But that's a different story.

The reason hall passes are a testy subject is that many lie about having one and go behind the back of their spouse. Stereotypically, it is the male half of a couple's profile that uncorks the hallpass since his wife is having her dinner rolls reprimed or something. As mentioned, they work really well with people you already know. If you are out fishing as the male half of a couple online then have some way of letting prospective couples verify that the hall pass is indeed real. Most are going to be skeptical and you need to be cordially ready to verify that the hallpass is legit.

You have read several different ways that couples navigate the hallpass with one another. Whatever route you go, it has to be mutually agreed upon. Start in a place that both of you are comfortable with or don't do it. The worst case scenario is a disgruntled husband whose wife has stopped playing who is pushing her into territory that she doesn't want to go into.

We both have ongoing hall passes. I use mine more than my wife because I travel a lot and in general I’m a much bigger horn dog. She travels by herself a few times a year (BC) and usually ends up in some guys hotel room.

We try to keep each other informed before we meet someone, but often it’s a post coitus confession. We both seem to be in about the same place in that after a hall pass dalliance it’s almost a relief to come home to someone who really understands you and is in tune to your sexually rhythms.

As TBR mentioned, everyone's is unique to them.

For us, our rules regarding this is simple. I do not own my wife, nor does she own me. What we owe each other is consideration. We are free to do whomever we want, whenever we want, without the need for approval. However, we do have to let the other know after the fact. We learned that setting something up, then letting them know beforehand often led to issues. Shit happens. Plans change. Now instead of two working on plans, it required three. So we let each other know after the fact. For us it is rarely used. I have gone to house parties with people we know 250 miles away, by myself because at the last minute she was not feeling well. She got in touch with the host couple and asked if it would be ok. I was gone for the weekend. Where she used to work, it was within walking distance to a SM we know. She would sometimes choose to go there for lunch some times :) I have been known to travel around in SoCal and have stayed at couples' houses we know. She has gone to the East Coast for 4 days and 3 nights and had a different guy every night.

It is not something that we actively pursue. I am not scheming here trying to find a woman to go have sex with and not tell my wife, nor is she doing the same. For us, sometimes it works out well because one of us may not like the other person in the couple. You would tend to think it is her, but most of the time it is me. I am the picky and finicky one. So she may like the guy and I am meh on the woman. I am not going to stop her because that would not be cool in my eyes.

Normally it is with people we already know. However, the parties I have gone to, which I think have been 5 or so in the last 3 years, two we knew some of the people, the rest we knew the host. When she went to the East coast, she knew no one.

This topic, like many in the "lifestyle," is very individual.

We both have the understanding that if something happens, it happens.

But neither of us has ever used this hall pass in 23 years of being together.

But if it works for you, good for you.

They had 57 posts prior to this topic.
They heard your rep and blocked you so soon?

Can't answer! Blocked!

I dont even know who this is...

Its fantastic for "us".. some cannot do them.. we have well over 24 years.. but with only guys or gals who are secure swinging..not looking for love, no drama, and always look for a night of dinner, dancing, and drinks with dessert being great sex.. sometimes in a car, hotel or come back and all join in.. Before hand we all meet and vet all.

If you do not have a solid relationship.. communicate about everything honestly....it will not work! We have even traveled to Costa Rica, NOLA, Ft Ldl and Tampa with our girl and boy toys and vice versa.. they fly in or out.. it works great for special occasions birthdays, valentines day.. etc etc.. sometimes we do stay the night.. but once again not everyone can do this and some peoples head is just not into doing this.

How do they work for you? We are interested in trying this out. What is good bad or ugly about this? What have you all experienced? I know it does not work for everyone, but for those of you that it did we would like to hear all about it.