Like others here, I accept the fact that flakes abound in this lifestyle. I have heard the stories about guys who never show. I have always either shown or let them know in advance if I'm running late or if circumstances change. But I've had women not show and even a few couples not show either. Like a previous comment, I've just learned to shrug it off and move on.
Unfortunately, flakes & folk who ghost you have become part of the fabric and flavor of the life style these days. You just have to go with your intuition and look for any red flags. Also, make sure they have resent certs to see if they are meeting others. Try non pressure meets at bars & grills if not already doing so. And clearly let them know when you meet that it cool if they decide you are not their type. That you wont flip out, whine and asked them why. Basically, you will graciously accept their decision, thank them for the initial interest and keep it moving. This should help stop some folks from ghosting you!!
This past year I had one couple contact me to meet. We talked for about a week and set up a date and time. I secured a motel room for the rendezvous. Then the day before they talked about a possible cancellation so I cancelled the room figuring I could always get one if necessary. Never heard from them.....Another contacted me and in the second or third sentence they were asking for cock pics. When I said I didn't have any I never heard from them again.....Others have been from husbands looking for company while their wives are off someplace else. Seems they too only read what they want in profiles....They all had couple profiles w/pics....With this being a couples dominated lifestyle I'm sure stuff like this is more common than many think. It's just easier to bash single guys though I admit some deserve it
I only had one couple flake.
But I only had one couple want to meet me, so it is currently 100% flakes.
Everything about them was weird. I thought it was spam but they never asked for money. They contacted me and they wanted to pay for the room. I think it was a 2 hour ride then a 3 hour wait before I gave up and left. They text me several times when they left and said how far out they were. I think it was a 1 hour ride for them. I text them several times before I left over a 1/2 hour period . They text after I left saying they were there. I said I left.
Holly.. and One.. its the new 'Meta" world.. they think its real when they do what you mentioned!
Some just are rude and dont bother reading ones profile.. we were traveling last week and had 6 messages, 4 were one liners along with same on their profile.., two had selfie bathroom photos, ... and and on and on.. They just dont get it!
Yep we are experiencing the same crap from loser guys.
The percentage of single guys who do not show up for the in person meetings with us is about 80%. That is after establishing sexual compatibility (most important), phone conversation and a seemingly eager attitude. We always meet at a good place to eat so that WHEN they don't show up, we still haven't wasted a trip. We have never been stood up by a couple. We have of course discovered guys posing as couples, guys who contradict their profile and say they are Really Bi, and of course photos that are a decade old. 15 years ago things were different. Yes we got older but now seek those close to our age to try to avoid the stupid games. Doesn't seem to be an age limit on playing games though. Single guys make it rough on single guys. Because the majority of them hide from the truth in one way or another, it taints the way we approach the next one who seems interested. We have a LOT of single guys contact us and their stories are almost identical. A short message conversation results in a 90% rejection rate, leaving only 10% to choose from. Out of that 10% we are lucky to find one or two who agree to meet in person and then one of the two Doesn't show, and disappears. If you read these and other related forums or talk to others at an event, the stories are all the same about single guys.
Dusk, sometimes people cannot bring themselves to politely saying it was nice to meet you but they aren’t interested. The block is easier.
As mentioned, the majority of flakes seem to be men posing as sm’s or a couple who are on here and other places without their partner’s knowledge. Then there has been the growing trend of people only wanting virtual interaction who prefer it over face to face.
I'm not sure this qualifies as flakey, but I recently met a couple who initiated contact and after several back and forth emails, they met me for dinner. It all seemed to go really smoothly and well, and even after another back and forth text, I got ghosted and block on here. It was very strange and they missed out on a really good guy. The good part for me is that they insisted on paying for dinner so I can't be too upset. Then there's the woman on here who's been sending me messages for over a year but when I finally give her my number and give an ultimatum of meeting- the messages stop. It doesn't surprise me as I was completely expecting a flake based on what she was writing.
We have never had a couple or single male not show up. We did have 1 single guy show up late, he said he was nervous and just drove around until he got up the nerve, we were meeting him at a bar. It worked out, but he was a newbie, we don't prefer newbie guys.
That's just part of the lifestyle and that's mainly because there are so many males/females cheating on their spouses. It's the same thing where guys say they are straight yet they aren't afraid to go down on another guy. Just because my profile say's I'm bi curious, I get more "straight" males viewing my profile. I'll bet anyone that 90% of the guys on this site have had thoughts of going down on another guy and that's ok. Embrace yourself and accept it. It's no big deal what happens behind closed doors between 2 consenting adults. People just don't want to be honest with themselves or they don't want to be outed as being a swinger, bi, gay. JMO
bfwp4u,
Yes, proportionally the ratio is higher with flakey sm, however, there are flakey couples as well. I wish neither of have to experience it, and in this forum, I am trying to see if that number is higher than I suspect by asking if other SM experience this as well. I do appreciate your reply
We are seeing the single male flakes more often than not. It gets really old.
This is for all the single men out there.
Yes, there are plenty of single men that make it difficult for us who truly enjoy couples, stag/vixen or hot wife scenarios, and respect the husbands or SO who shares their partners.
But there are flakey couples out there that go to the extent of months of contact, setting dates, exchange phone numbers and text and then never show up and then drop off the radar. 6 times over a 6 year period and recently by a couple in their 60's that was "In town for a wedding"
Are their other SM that experience this? If so, share your story, and know that you are not alone.
