How should we go about messaging

The question mark at the end was supposed to be a heart emoji lol

Man thanks for your advice it's really appreciated. That's basically what we've been doing I search the profiles and make contact and then show her if someone replies. We do each have a k I k and I communicate with the guy only and she chats with the woman, we made the cross talking mistake when we tried to get into this back in 07 or so. Back then my wife expressed interest in a ffm and one of her work friends was very interested. Being new and stupid I thought it would be a good idea for me to text with her to get to know her better. Big mistake. She was not really attracted to me, she didn't dislike how I looked she was just into a different type of guy and I ended up with hurt feelings. I was full of insecurity back then mostly about my average size, I have since made peace with my piece lol. That experience was rough but it actually brought us closer together and taught us that we had to make communication our top priority if we ever revisited the idea. Now here we are 12 years later and more in love than ever ?

Also, understand, many couples have an LS ambassador. Many times that is the guy of the couple. He spends the time to read the Forums, check the party listings, communicates with the other couples on line, ect. Then he reports his findings back to her, and she makes the final decision. You can typically tell by the wording as to which gender you are talking to. Just so you know, it's usually the guy.

So, you may want to rephrase comments like "OMG, you are so fucking hot. Lets go fuck!!!"
to
"Damn, you are one lucky guy to have a smoking hot wife. My wife thinks you are good looking too. Would you be interested in meeting??"

Don't assume that just because you are talking to the guy that the couple is fake. My wife has NO interest in doing any of the planning. But she knows EVERYTHING that is posted in the Forums, and correspondence with other SLS members. She just doesn't have the time or desire to sift through all of the BS Emails and IM's we get. In fact our circle would be a lot smaller if she did. She isn't so tolerant with copy/paste emails, or IM's. Many more profiles would be blocked.

Since you are new. When exchanging contact info with a couple that you have already met, or you are about to meet. The GUYS exchange #'s with the GUYS. The ladies to the ladies. We have bent this rule a few times. Mostly with people that we have grown very close to. Although there are a few guys that have her number, and she finds it really annoying. I used to have contact info for a couple of unicorns, luckily we have lost touch. K - I - K is good to have, since you can block the profile.

This is all great to know, we really like this little site, I'm adding more pics to the profile too and some private stuff we can share if things progress

What Scamp said.
Tell them what it is about them that intrigues you. Let them know you read their profile, saw their pics, how you would benefit their desires.

Thanks for that advice, I'm having to handle the chat for now due to my wife's work schedule and I just want to make sure I'm not turning people away. I always read the full profile first and try to word things so that they know I'm not just mass messaging. As soon as my wife has time I'm going to get her to send some flirts

Step one is read the profile thoroughly of those you want to approach. If they ask you to not IM, then don’t IM.

If they ask for more than a one liner, honor that.

Most importantly, try to engage them based on something specific in their profile.

For us at least, “How are you” and the like show no imagination and sounds like you are just spamming everyone with the same email.

You only get one chance to make a first impression, make it count.

~Scamp

What is good etiquette for letting someone know you're interested here? Should we send a simple "how are you?" Or more detail. We aren't pushy people so if someone doesn't reply we don't send a second message and don't take it personal, everyone has their thing. Do people prefer the mail option?