Looking for the Right Unicorn

Aren’t we all?

Looking B here too for f. It’s impossible

Both good and bad to know things are stale for other (quite attractive I'd add) couples.

The no response from someone who initiates thing is always a head scratcher. Oh well, their loss.

I will say that last year was was certainly bizarre. Some of our partners or just platonic friends gradually started to get depressed, and just lose interest in everything.

@overeducatedcouple yeah it seems to have gotten quite stale in our area as far as new members. It's always the same people on the "who's on" list. We reach out to those who have looked at our profile and rarely get a response. We respond to people who reach out first, and they never respond back. LOL. Not sure what the issue is. Last week we tried using another avenues. It doesn't seem much better. Can't wait for events to start being held again. It was much easier to meet folks that way.

Onehorneywife, feel free to message us on how to see it.

Congrats to @OHC
Our experience with females has been similar as far as enthusiasm and sticking to a schedule goes.

@NECouple
This site generated interest when we started on it back in June, but has become pretty meh since about September for us. If we can get so much as an acknowledgement, it's a rare day. Forums can be fun though.

So where do you get to view your videos?

@Onehourcouple, good stuff. I will look out for it. You guys rock...keep having fun.

njnybiwfemme, yes plus she has her own OF page so it was a collaboration video. We don't record and post videos without consent and a signed model release form.

we are looking for the wrong unicorn!

Just came home from a great FMF (our first!) with the gal we mentioned, she is a sexy & nerdy BBW and was lots of fun. Didn't find her on SLS but she really showed up the single guys by being enthusiastic about joining us, keeping in touch and showing up on time for our playdate.

Yes, we recorded it and will post the video early this week!

We’re debating joining similar sites onehourcouple. The list of people nearby us has gotten stale. We’ve reached out to many, most never acknowledge they were spoken to, talked to some, and more often than not things just don’t pan out. We’ve made connections with a few single women here and actually went on to meeting but every single one of them turned out to have jealousy issues with our still entertaining other couples. Peculiar. Hopefully we can enjoy some success in the other avenues as well. At the very least it will increase the base to choose from.

One dont discount couples who play alone or make ones dreams come true... all our years swinging all you have to do is ask.. and we usually accommodate if we have some chemistry.. in fact.. we have done this FMF, several times making a guys and wifes dream come true!

We're having luck finding single women interested in FMF play with us via dating apps and found those that want to collaborate for online video content too. Stay tuned on the latter ;)

My GF is Bi and soon after meeting three years ago, we pursued a third woman. There's a reason they call them "unicorns." Single bi women looking for a couple are rare. We signed up on different websites and shortly after, hooked up with a pillow princess. We were hoping to find someone that was also interested in us and kept looking. As fate would have it, we hooked up with two different women one night apart. Both were good looking, hot and hungry. Unfortunately, one moved out of the state and the other went into hiding with Covid. We've also been to clubs where we've played with women on our own a few times. Bottom line, it takes lots of work and tenacity. Finding a Unicorn on line is like mail order. They can easily pick and choose who they want so you really have to work at it. I laugh at some of the listings I used to see on Craigslist and Doublelist: "We'd like another woman this weekend for my husband's birthday" hoping a long line of hot women would reply. Good luck with that. You have to work at making yourself stand out with a good long write up and pictures. Think of it as a job application--it needs to be polished. You also have to play the numbers game and reach out to many. Bottom line, it takes lots of work and tenacity. We have two strikes against us: age (we're in our mid 50s) and we have a few extra pounds. I think we've had 6 or 7 threesomes with different women. We're proof that if we can do it, almost anyone can.

Trying to find a unicorn on a website can be tedious and time consuming. There are so many flakes out there that will ghost you unexpectedly--disappointment is routine. If you can find the right person and establish some report, that's also nice to have meet in an ideal setting and time. Clubs are great in that you can just approach someone and play right then and there. I suggest planing a travel vacation to a resort or place where you can play. Last year, we went to Cancun for diving and fun. Turns out, there's a great place there called Temptation. We had a blast. There was also the Boobs cruise--an orgy topside on a boat. That was wild!

Another option to pursue is another couple. Some couples like to softswap--just let the girls play.

Just keep at it, learn as you go, fine tune your profile and eventually, you'll succeed.

Good luck.

" I am trying to point out that you may not be looking at this from the perspective of the other party." "Needle haystack"

What is your definition of "regular playmate"? A few times a month? Probably not going to happen. Juggling a regular life leaves little time for swinging for most people. If you're looking for more than bedroom fun, that's a lot of time required. Unless you're adonis and a goddess who is very satisfying in bed, chances are, she's going to want more playmates than you 2. (Less time for you guys) In a triad, the 3rd is always on the losing end by default. That gets old, the biggest downside of being with a couple is relegated to the couch/spare room or home after playtime is over.

You have a lot stacked against you unless you move to a very populated area. A kick ass profile and learning how to cater to her needs and compromises, very slim chances.
None of us really want to burst your bubble, just being honest and showing you how what you guys want might never come to fruition due to the realities of unicorn hunting.

" I am trying to point out that you may not be looking at this from the perspective of the other party."

This. Not saying it's true for ScorpioGemini, but this is why I avoid unicorn hunters. In my experience it is overwhelmingly the case that they are looking for fantasy service and the other woman's needs aren't factored in. I've been calling it the Cheeseburger Syndrome since 2003, because that's how unengaged unicorn hunters seem to be in the object of their pursuit.

I've happily dated couples, once regularly for more than a year (and they got to meet my kids).
Because their interests included couples, women and the occasional guy, it didn't set off the same kind of alarms.

The responses have been very good.

When I see these types of posts, the first thing I think of us, why hasn't the guy talked to his wife. By that, I mean, ask your wife what it is like to be single.

I'd ask her if she were looking for the scenario that you are proposing, where she would go. When she never mentions an online site, you will then have a clue. When she looks confused, you will also realize that is a clue.

For every condition that you put out there, you are narrowing the pool to choose from.

If you are in Miami, your pool is bigger than rural NH.

If you want women that are 6' tall or taller, your pool is smaller than women that are 5'2" and taller.

If you want a woman +/- 3 years your age, your pool is smaller than women that are +/- 10 years your age.

From what you are describing, you want something smaller than a needle in a haystack. While you can find it, it's really hard.

For us, we had a very good SF friend. She is the only person in the lifestyle to ever meet our child. Why? She was 3 years younger than us, but she had two kids the same sex as ours and one was about a year older and the other two years older. Why is that important? Where the SF was in her life was a similar trajectory to ours. However, we suddenly were introduced to 3 different boyfriends that she had during that time. In your scenario how do you handle that? Are you expecting the SF to not find a boyfriend/husband but be with you two? Good luck with that. And if you find this person, how long are they to stay that way?

I am not trying to stop you doing from what you are doing. I am trying to point out that you may not be looking at this from the perspective of the other party. Unfortunately, a lot of people in the lifestyle think that this is just like McDonalds and they can go to the counter and order the #3. They tend to forget that there are humans on the other side and their agenda may not be the same as yours.

In our 25+ years of being in the lifestyle, living in two different states, we have never ever met a SF that meets your criteria.

Looking for a 3rd for a poly/triad arrangement would be easier on FetLife I think, since there is a large Poly community there

Finding a single female in a rural area will be difficult. Add rope play and needing to be submissive will lower your odds. Actively looking for a triad will decrease your odd the most. I know a lot of single non-poly females who won't continually play with a couple looking for a triad. It's too risky. They get attached and you wind up with a stage5 clinger couple who don't take a hint. Swinger females that I know don't like their time monopolized. When I was single, I came across this a lot in general.

Your "no drama" typically indicates you bring drama to the table. Your best way to meet this sumbissive single female interested in a triad is to get out to clubs, hotel takeovers, local swing club meet n greets. But it's a slim chance as it is so have fun along the way.

I have always wondered how someone who cannot find/make the time to properly compose a profile could/would find/make the time for a proper meeting that might lead to enjoyment for everyone.

I completely agree. I have been thinking hard about all you have said. I have also been trying to figure a time to focus on our sad little profile. Thank you all for the feedback and advice

It would be a big improvement if you uploaded photos of the two of you together. A sparse profile is much easier to overcome if you present as a loving, united couple (because that's what a lot of us looking primarily for couples are going to home in on).

Our goals are to find a third to join us in the bedroom with the hopes that perhaps we could meet someone interested in being part of a triad. Admittedly our area in rural NH isn't very conducive to meeting people and the Covid situation has definitely made it worse.

Everyone's responses are truly appreciated and I am hoping maybe I can try to pin her down enough to build our profile properly.

Are you trying to establish a poly-triad or just land a threesome? Those are two similar but distinct things. It isn't that difficult to land a FFM threesome. We have done one by pure happenstance. A triad is a lot of work and much more unlikely a scenario.