Hosting solutions and Suggestions

Ocbj - There are no guarantees, but we find that the couples that we get along with that seek the same sorts of things at a party tend to get along well with each other.

@Mayhem. Thank you. Agreed. The focus isn’t about food or alcohol for that matter. It’s an Italian thing when you visit, LOL. This idea will involve about four couples. All whom have been to the house as a couple, but not as a group. People we know enough to trust nothing dumb will occur. Who knows, it may just become a meet and greet and evolve from there. You never know what direction people go in a group setting. It would just be nice to have a group that gets along and perhaps turn it into a more regular thing. Honestly, some of our more genuine friends are lifestylers and it doesn’t always involve sex. Go figure.

We've been to mayhem's a few times and they do a great job.

A lot of companies no longer have employee parties at the business for all of the reasons people are warning you about.
If it is in a rented space, like a hotel room, and a catastrophic event occurs, like the local biker gang crashes the party, complete with motorcycles on the bed, you can leave, call the cops, and all you lose is the deposit.
And, if you have it at your house, what if a real creep gets invited?
Now he knows where you live.
Next you day you find out he stole all of your panties.

We find that most people prefer to keep things light where play time is involved. We have some friends that won't eat at all until they're done playing. We used to have to put some cocktail shrimp off to the side for one of our friends because they'd usually be gone by the time she was ready to eat some.

Some things like chicken wings, meat balls (with or without bread), and if there's enough, shrimp cocktail can be somewhat substantial. We had one guest that usually brings a sandwich platter when she comes, and another that will bring a couple pizzas. At our last big party, a couple brought a buffalo chicken dip that was really good. The nice thing about any/all of it is that nobody needs to spend a lot of cooking/prep time to go to the party.

At least in our case anyway the party is never about the food. There is generally enough where nobody is going to go hungry. Towards the end of a party we'll usually throw on a pot of coffee. Earlier if we have people that prefer coffee over other drinks.

@ Mayhem. Thanks. Good call on the water proof mattress cover and warming plates, etc for food. Did you find people would rather have finger foods or something of more substance. It’s always easy when you have one couple. You can ask about diet needs (gluten issues, etc). But, with more sounds like a bit complicated to figure things out.

If it's small enough, we'll do dinner. It's easier in the warmer weather where we can do something on the grill like burgers/dogs, salad, etc. For anything larger, we usually do pot luck with more of an emphasis on finger food. Even better if it's finger food that can be kept warm in a crock pot or warming tray. This allows people to grab a bite whenever they're ready over the course of the party. We also do chips/salsa and sometimes cheese/meat/fruit/crackers.

When I did really small parties I'd just send an email via SLS, or other site email if that's where we knew them from. For larger parties I just use a 3rd party online invitation service and ask for people's outside email, if I didn't already have it. I'd list the online service I used but had a post deleted for mentioning it by name before and I'm sure you can probably guess which one I used.

If this is something you plan to do going forward the 3rd party invitation service is the way to go. That way, people can see who was invited and who will be coming, at least by first name. The service doesn't share anyone's email addresses.

You'll need to figure out what bed/s you want to use for playing, and to be on the safe side, make sure that you have a waterproof mattress cover on them. You'll also want some extra fitted sheets. We usually supply a good water-based lube but let people be responsible for bringing their own condoms, assuming people use them.

For ambiance, I'll either put Pandora on in the background (80's Rock or Singer/Songwriter for lower key parties) and I'll sometimes cast porn onto my TV in the family room. Some like it, some don't, but that will be easier to gauge with a small party. It does definitely help set the mood for some people.

Since there is obvious experience here. Thinking of putting together a small rendezvous at the house involving friends that we have entertained individually, but have not been at the house as a collective group, if that makes sense. Probably three other couples, but all people we know. That said, how would we go about the invite protocols, food, beverages, ambiance? Typically, when we host a couple or SM, we always anticipate some sort of lunch or dinner. It takes the “cheapness” out of the atmosphere. But, if you met us in or out of the LS, that’s who we are and treated when at our home- nothing unusual.

That said, regarding food would you move forward with a full on meal or just a variety of something light? Over all suggestions. This will be an intimate evening meaning small group. No strangers.

Explorer - If you are hosting, you should have complete control over who comes, including tag-a-longs. People should know upfront whether it is OK to bring someone new, or not. This is especially true for a small event. If it is something you do on any sort of regular basis, you will get to know people that you like/trust and eventually a party can become nothing but those people and possibly a very limited number of new people.

If it works for you like it does for me, your regular attending friends will help keep an eye on any new people. You can't watch everybody all of the time, so this can help a lot.

I simply have a guest list, and it's not like someone I added that isn't working out cannot be removed from my list. You are of course more limited if you are doing open invitations. It also depends if money matters. Our parties are free, so there is zero incentive to have random people that we don't know at our parties.

If someone wants to recommend/bring someone, I make it clear that they will be responsible for them. If they come and fit in well, I add them to the list. If not, I will let the friend that brought them know in the best possible way. For example, a couple brought a SF that was so nervous, she drank to the point of being unable to form coherent sentences. She was clearly overwhelmed and not a good fit.

I always host away from home. As a retired law enforcement officer the liability issues as well as theft and damage could be really bad. I also have a teen at home so not letting people especially people you barely know is a bit of protection. And as one who had a VRBO you think one person is coming over but you really don't know who's coming with them.

Depending on the state you're in BYOB laws have significant limitations. For instance, in NJ people can only BYOB wine and beer. NO Distilled liquor. This could become a problem if you're charging folks to help cover the cover the cost of the space.

You also still have the potential liability of allowing someone to over indulge at an event you are hosting.

It's why we don't ask for any money from our friends who attend our parties. We're not in any way in violation of any liquor law.

It's also why the only folks invited to our after parties are people we know and trust. It does mean no newbies and that can mean we miss an opportunity or two but we'd rather not be sued and lose our house.

We host parties at our house but we would not consider sub-hosting a large party of unknowns. About 50% of the time that we've allowed our friends to bring others it has not really worked out. Either something got damaged, or they just didn't really fit in as well as their friends expected they might.

There is always the option of hosting a hotel room party. We've been to a few of these and they can be a lot of fun. Generally there is a fee to help cover costs so if something does get broken, you can cover it or at least defray the cost. If it works out well, you have a good time and walk away with gas money after covering your costs.

If we are going to have new people to a party that we haven't met 2 on 2, we will consider it for a small party of up to a dozen people or less and limit it to 1 or 2 new couples with the rest being regular friends. That way we get to actually spend time with them. Also, we already have seen cases where our regular friends have our backs and let us know if anything bad is happening with/by someone new.

Eventually you will know enough of your friend's friends that you are essentially hosting for your friends anyway, unless money is involved and that would need to get worked out between you and whoever you were sub-hosting for. We keep it simple and do a pot luck style party that's BYOB/C and do not charge. We have long since determined that we're doing this for the fun of it and not the money, That way the parties remain fun and our friends appreciate it.

This sounds like a good idea if you follow the advice given. Another danger you may run into are uninvited guests who may just think they can knock on your door any time. Your information can float around unknown to you. You might let your friends invite someone over who just happens to tell others about your place. Just be careful. Then solid rules and enforce them. Never think you don’t need to say no scat play on the bed, etc. “Rope off” areas of your house and be sure not to leave valuables and family items sitting out in the open. We know off people who have had things stolen.

Highly suggest you get extra homeowners insurance. You're going to be seeing a lot of folks you don't know and haven't vetted come into your place. That's a fair amount of liability you're assuming. And if you're charging them to"rent" the space you're likely going to need business insurance. And a business license. And a zoning variance. Maybe a liquor license of some kind depending where it is.

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We wish you much luck

Welcome .. a great idea but as long as we have been swinging ( well over 25 years.. and YES in Weston near Bonaventure Blvd and old Weston Rd, kids went to Weston Schools..) .. we would NOT have anyone at our home we did not know or meet first! Thats why we always meet off site before inviting anyone back to our home.

Yes we try and give people the benefit of the doubt but all sorts of weird ones, wackos, jealous husbands, etc etc we have run into swinging .. and yes you do not need this at your home.

The best way in our opinion.. is to meet several people at a meet and greet, party , event and give out your info at that time.. wish you luck , enjoy and party on...

One of the main constraint in the life style is the inability to host your potential friends due to your professional and social environment. Worst you may have kids at home. We had this problem for for too long and are finally out of it. We can host now. Then we are wondering how we can help our fellow members who still have this problem by letting them host at our place.
We decide that the first requirement would be that we don’t want to play with the ones we are helping to host at our place.
We will appreciate your comments and suggestions on what else we must add and what do you think we can offer for a fellow member to feel comfortable hosting at our place.