#80-She lives a double life (ethically) in the swinger lifestyle - meet Rose (40F)

Transcript

Speaker1: Hey everybody, it is Tron Unicorn and you're back with Sex and Swinging. I have a wonderful interview with a girl named Rose. Hello, Rose. Hi. So I actually have a bit of a personal connection with you. I've met you in person. We've hung out a few times in the pool at Oasis. And you actually, if anybody doesn't know, you are one of my top supporters on Facebook. And every time I get a notification that, you know, Rose has liked my latest video, it really does touch my heart like I'm like oh that rose girl like it really was something that over time I was like whoever this rose girl is is amazing for supporting my content so much and then funny story I end up hanging out with you in the pool and having a grand time we're having a good conversation whatever and only at the end of the fucking night did you somehow reveal that you were that girl from Facebook and so I had actually hung out and had a great time with you without knowing that. And then as soon as I found that out, it was like my eyes got like hearts in them or something. I'm like, oh my god, you're that girl, right? So then every time I saw you after that, it was like we have this connection, we have this history. You know me intimately if you're actually watching my videos and not just liking them. And so I would love to learn more about you today because you're also another, you know, individual floating around the sex positive lifestyle. And I'm sure you've got a story to share. Are you open for that? Sure. Absolutely. Okay. So first off, I like to get things like your age and your marital status, those kind of things out of the way. So I'm 40 and I'm married and I have two kids. Okay. So you are married. Is your partner in the lifestyle? No. Okay. Do you have an agreement? Do you, are you just cheating on him? Like what's going on? No, it's an unspoken, I guess, I guess consent that we have. So as long as, you know, I come home and doesn't ask I don't tell and don't ask don't tell I've heard of that I have a video about that it is actually something that I've seen around lifestyle so just for anyone who doesn't know I'll put the link in the description of this podcast but don't ask don't tell is a way to manage jealousy especially if somebody wants to be open minded. But the realities of being so you know hearing about dates or things like that is like impossible to like mentally handle I can relate to that. I did Don't Ask, Don't Tell because, you know, putting my head in the sand was the better way, even though I consented, right? And so just to back up, so that is a way of being in an ethical non-monogamous lifestyle is you're allowed to basically run around and live your life and just, you know, make sure you go home and your marriage is still, you know, a priority and all those things, right? Right, exactly. And I always do whoever I play with or whoever I'm involved in. It's always family comes first. If I have to break my commitment to you at the moment, too bad. Sorry about your luck. They come first. So what does that mean? Does that mean if somebody in your family, you know, gets unwell or, like, needs you suddenly like that, like that? Or is it if they get a bad feeling about what you're doing? No, it's if, like, if, let's say, one of my kids gets sick or something and I had a previous engagement, I'm like, yeah, sorry, no, I can't make it. And that has to be, that has to be okay. And if it's not, then I'm with the wrong person. Gotcha. That's very clear. So this is your playtime, right? And then there's priority time, it sounds like. Yeah, exactly. And how long have you been running around like a free woman around these sex clubs, which is a fun role? Actually, so the clubs itself, this club scene, I'm actually fairly new to, believe it or not, maybe in that last couple of years. But I've been in a lifestyle since my early 20s. Okay, so 20 years. Wow. Yeah, so I actually got into it. It's a long story. I don't know if you want to hear it. But I got into it. I don't know how you broke in 20 years ago. I don't there wasn't the internet like what the hell? No, so it was so taboo back then. But I'll tell you, so I come from a very Christian family and very, like Christian upbringing, you know, marriage. So we went, I went to college, got married, married my high school sweetheart. And, you know, we didn't, we didn't go away together, nothing. It was always no Sleepovers, very strict. Got married. 14 months later, got divorced. Wow. And I think it really killed me to get divorced just because I did everything I was supposed to, I guess, according to, you know, the way we were brought up. And I kind of went a little crazy. I threw myself in my work and then found myself traveling a lot and then, you know, living the high corporate life, you know, money, sex, drugs. I got really, really heavily involved in drugs. And it wasn't until my boss at the time pulled me aside and said, you know what, I see you spiraling. Like I was literally at my lowest point. And he became my dom. He introduced me to BDSM and became my dom. And I did that for about seven years. I knew everything about him. His wife didn't know. So, you know, I was his shadow. basically. But I needed that in order to clean me up, get me sober, and be the person I am now. I eventually got remarried. Sorry to interrupt you, but can I ask what kind of Dom? It wasn't like your Fifty Shades of Grey type of fantasy. It was hardcore. He was very strict. I guess people would borderline abusive, but not, I mean, people who are not MDDSM would, I guess, consider that But I needed that. I needed that structure just to pull me back into reality. So punishments. People who are listening might not have ever heard of this. So there could be punishments, rules. Can you be specific? Was there certain things you had to do in your submissiveness? Yeah, so I was his possession, period. Outside of work and inside of work. So the property owner or master-slave dynamic? It was like a sleeve, master sleeve. Okay, yes. So for anyone who doesn't know, that's far to the extreme of, what is it, dom and submissive, from what I understand. And it's like a total, like complete submission in everything, right? So, but I hear positive things from the subs in these experiences. That's the fascinating thing is that the joy and the fulfillment isn't in what maybe might be perceived as just the dominant role. There's a lot of, I can relate to you about wanting to feel, even taken care of and guided right when you're maybe at a struggling time in your life so that it's a it's a real balanced uh dynamic in some ways even if it does not look like that on the outside exactly and if someone who isn't involved in it they wouldn't under really understand it but i think for that period of time in my life i really did need that i didn't know i needed it but he did uh and it really did help me uh go through everything so like i said we did it for seven years i was a shadow uh and it wasn't a I actually eventually got remarried to my husband now but I still was his shadow and it wasn't until his wife gave birth for the second time and I was at the hospital then that when I said to him I can't do this no more I can't just he doesn't know and I don't want to be that person so I moved on focused on my own family then more towards the present time now I am I ended up finding myself at the hospital and I got diagnosed with cancer so with that I had to have a what's called a partial hysterectomy and once that might like my sex drive was so high for my sex drive to go from zero to like from 100 to zero was insane for me wow so I I had left the lifestyle for so so long that I found myself throwing myself back in just to try to cope because that's how I was able to deal with things the first time right so I did I ended up having another Dom but then I ended up being the Dom so that kind of brought me back my power wow and then it wasn't until I guess a couple years ago that a friend of a friend I was talking to was talking about clubs and I was like clubs what clubs what are you talking about these clubs so he had mentioned a few names So I googled it, and you had come up with Oasis, because you were doing a review for Oasis. And I was like, this looks kind of interesting. And then I was like, I think I've been there. And I was there. I couldn't even remember being there, because that's how far gone I had been. Wow. So I actually was at Oasis, like pre pre COVID. So old Oasis. And I saw your video and everything kind of came back. And I love the fact that you live on a because for me, the lifestyle is the only place that I can actually live like that because on the surface of my real life, I can't and it's only when I go to these clubs and see the social scene and be around people like yourself that I can actually truly be me. Interesting. And why do you think that is? I think it has to do with like still same thing with my family. I think the fact too that, you know, My partner isn't in the lifestyle. It's about, you know, respect for him too. And I don't, I don't like throwing things in his face. It's not his fault. He doesn't really understand this type of lifestyle. Just because I went through what I went through. So I think there's that. And what does it mean to be free when you're in the lifestyle? So picture yourself in the pool at Oasis, looking around, seeing the people, what makes you free in that environment? I think now I'm really, really loving the social scene. And I got to meet some amazing people and some amazing couples and who have true gems to the lifestyle, who have so much knowledge in it. And every time I'm with them, I just learn something new. Wow. I love that answer. And I know what you mean about the lifestyle. It's one of those places where, you know, let your kink flag fly, right? I remember, if you remember an episode I did with Arnold Lane way back when on my podcast and he I remember because I you know I met him in person and all that and I and I helped him on his first time to Oasis and he remember I remember him like whispering something about a pube fetish like he's like what no I like pubic hair and and then I saw it literally happen in front of my eyes where he looked around and realized it's not a secret I can say it out loud not only that I can actually compliment a girl's pubic hair and then he starts I swear it's like you know how Red Bull gives you wings I saw this man just like elevate himself walk around unapologetically liking pubic hair. And I just thought I saw his freedom happen in front of my eyes. Absolutely. Well, see, if you were to meet me on the street, even, okay, so in my real life, I don't even own a two-piece bathing suit. Wow. I don't. I will, I don't even go in the pool half the time. So when I'm at Oasis, I'm like fully nude or in like a little, basically nothing. So that's me, me. And then there's like homie that is very conservative. very, because I have to be. So, I don't know. It's just, it's very freeing to be in the lifestyle, I think. That's so cool. And you're a part-time lifestyler, which is really cool, too, because a lot of people I've met are just full-on. You know, all the partners are involved. So, this is a way for you to actually be able to, like, getting a hobby, you know? Like, the lifestyle is your hobby, not your life. Exactly. It kind of is, yeah. But I got to meet a lot of, like, great people and great friends. Yeah. I was really more alone, I think, especially in the way I came into the scene. I mean, we used to do private host parties, but back then and like 20 years ago, that was like. And these people, it was just like really the like elite corporate and then they would have these like private parties and that's where we would go. And now to be to actually go to these places and meet other people like myself is just it's crazy and it's so it's amazing. So 20 years ago, there wasn't all these sex clubs that you were going to. In fact, you said you just discovered sex clubs a few years ago, roughly, right? Yeah. Yeah. Wow. So, so you saw me in the tour video and you decided you were going to come back and now you keep coming back. I see you there often. So, so that's your outlet. That's where you go have fun. Hopefully one of these times you'll let me know when you're going in advance so like we can line up because it's always an accidental, a happy moment when I realize you're there. But, like, sometimes it's nice to plan those things, too. So hopefully we can all intentionally hang out again there soon. So do you identify in the lifestyle as anything, like a unicorn or a hot wife or, like, any kind of label? No, actually, I don't. Okay. I think I just identify as Rose, pretty much. Interesting. She's like my alter ego. Okay, yeah, because Rose isn't your real name, right? And it might shock people. but Toronto Unicorn is not my real name but yeah isn't that so shocking I couldn't even trademark it because it has the name of a city in it yeah I looked into that and I was like you need to get written permission from like the the you know like a little municipal government and I was like they ain't gonna sign off on that so that's okay I don't have my I don't have my dom anymore but I had a dom who was uh who worked for City Hall so that's oh wow um okay so it's interesting because you're in the lifestyle you're participating and events and going to clubs, but you don't identify as what some people would consider lifestyle roles or swinger, I guess, swinger specific roles, which does show how broad this lifestyle is. It's not just a bunch of couples full swapping. It's not just unicorns and couples having threesomes. It's people who are single ish, single presenting, coming and having, you know, whatever adventure they want, and then going home to their family and their priority. So it goes to show that there's a whole other element that's possible out there, which which I think is really cool because I only see my limited scope right I don't see all the different ways people participate in a lifestyle and so it's nice to get that that insight from other people so do you have any videos of mine that you think helped prepare you on the journey that you think if I could list in the video description here or podcast description that somebody who might be considering coming or considering having reclaiming their freedom and you know starting to live unapologetically was there any videos that you think would have be would be impactful I honestly do love all your review videos and especially for the club ones because I've been to all the clubs myself and I think what is great about yours is it's you kind of go through all of them and you give great reviews on each one and you're not really biased in in any of them and I think it's great because I didn't know there's two clubs that I like so I like NYX and I'm I like Oasis but those are more my I've been to M4 and I've been to Axe Club and I think if someone is new and looking in and saying maybe I should go to a club I really do think that all your review videos are the most amazing ones I mean along with everything else and you have such great advice videos I didn't I can give you a list but I mean it's basically I mean I'm here I would take a list I would get a little to all of them I do have a playlist yeah playlist and I do love your whole journey and I've said that to you before I do love this whole new journey that you're going through and I love watching it because you've grown so much from like if you were to go back to like what three years ago four years ago till now to see your growth is so amazing and so beautiful to see and I love that so much for you thank you yeah it's true I started out a very different uh you know I was a bit naive about the lifestyle I came in thinking it was threesomes and full swaps and and then you get out So I came in and I was learning this whole new place. And I just happened to be catching it on camera, right? I started vlogging during COVID lockdowns as a way to entertain myself. And I had such, such like terrible video editing skills that my first video on YouTube was a live stream. This is the one that went viral where I tell a story about my threesome in a sex club in Toronto. And it's because I didn't know how to record a video of myself. So I just use YouTube as the medium. That's how, that's where I started. started, right? And so then I, you know, things caught on, it became a hobby. And suddenly I had to like, you know, teach myself how to video edit and how do you add graphics to a thumbnail and, you know, and, and it's, I had videos every single day. Sometimes on YouTube, I was pumping out content. Um, and it's because I had something to say each and every time, right? It felt like it was coming from within and it was bursting out on camera and I quickly edit it, put it together, put my fucking name on it and throw it up on YouTube. Um, and, It's funny because the pace of my content is different now than it was before. I might make one video a week. And if I do, you know, it's usually a little carefully curated video, you know, or it's my podcast that I'm updating because God knows I don't like to be censored. And YouTube is a great place where I've been able to grow and show my journey. But I cannot swear like a trucker girl like I am on YouTube. I can't say dick. I can't say pussy. I go. I am. So vulgar, charmingly vulgar, I like to say, that I don't belong in YouTube anymore. I think I belong in a freedom space, right, of podcasting, which is when I can say all the dirty words. And so this is the part where I'm going to say I do have, anyone who's listening, at this date and time, I have six different podcasts, each with a different soul and purpose. And so a lot of them are going to be about the sex and swinging lifestyle. But as you mentioned earlier, living unapologetically has been something I've been passionate about. about as well. And so I have a podcast called live unapologetically with Toronto unicorn. And some of the topics that I, I like are, you know, how to stop people pleasing, how to say no and mean it, especially at a sex club. You wouldn't believe it, Rose, how many people are deer in headlights when they're faced with a sexual advance or, you know, and they just, they just don't, they panic. They don't know. So these are skills that, you know, I need to be able to be like, Oh, you know, here's some tips. Here's some tricks. Uh, my favorite video so far is how to get people to shut the fuck up. And it is literally, yeah. And it's about protecting your energy and not just taking people's negative opinions of you or reviews of you when you can just fucking unsubscribe to them in real life and make them go away energetically. And yeah. And so these are things that I've like tweaked and mastered over the years, but to be really honest with you, Rose, I have not always been this live unapologetically balls to the wall girl. I went through a dark phase of my life too, that I don't talk about on YouTube, But, you know, I did mention in one video how I hadn't had sex in 10 years. I don't know if you ever saw that one. But there's a reason, right? Like I was in a bit of a depression during that stage. I had lost the ability to feel like connected to other people. And it's a real thing that happens to people. And I struggled a lot to get my sex drive back. I struggled a lot to get my comfort back with my body. And it's still something that today I go up and down weight as anybody else does in the world. and I still have to live and live it and own it even though everything in me is just like oh you know you want to get control of it but I've learned if if from my past it people go through tough stuff and to pretend they don't is is not authentic and so living unapologetically is also living in in the situations that you're you're dealing with um and and owning it and you know choosing what's best for you in those moments so I think for me uh the live unapologetically has been a big passion project But I haven't made a video in a while. Like, it's been a few months. And I'm like, what else do I have to say? So I wait till something comes to me that I feel it needs to be shared. And then I make it. It's not about feeding content to the masses. It's about speaking something that when I have something to say. Yeah. And I think what's great about me, I think, like, getting into the lifestyle now and, and meeting the different people I've met. One thing I've really, really learned is that not everyone needs to understand your life. I mean, not everyone agrees with the way I live my life. Like, I call it the double life, because that's basically what I have. I have a double life. And a lot of people don't understand it, don't agree to it. But that's not another business. It's my life, and I'm living it. So, and I had to learn that, I think. And I learned it more, I think, this year than any other year. Yeah, just because being around your tribes, I think I found kind of my tribe of people, which is really nice. and they're the most non-judgmental people you'll ever meet in your life right and you could literally do anything or say anything and they will never judge you for anything and it's it's amazing to have that connection with people it really is and it took some adjustment for me too because i came from vanilla world mainstream society too until i was in my early 30s i grew up stigma or you know shaming women who had sexual partners early or many of them I grew up watching that happen around me and so when I remember going to the sex club I was not just like suddenly a oh sex positive non-judgmental girl I had to decondition myself to stop judging women who fucked a lot of men it wasn't immediate for me and think about that think about who I am today I preach sex positive I'm women empowerment but I still felt the the conditioning on me from society from upbringing from culture and it was something that, yes, you can unpack, you can undo and decide for yourself, but not everyone knows that. And so some people are stuck in their stigma of the lifestyle or their stigma of people who have multiple sex partners. I just, I want to say, I read something about old, you know, old textbooks and how they would teach people about with the women, men and women's bodies. And I saw some misinformation, you can call it in a textbook that says the pelvis area of a woman collects And the bigger that pouch is, the more sexually promiscuous she is. And that's why having multiple sexual partners is not good because your bunch of other men's semen is basically up in her pelvis for like eternity. And it just, you and I know that what goes up must come down in that hole. And so if you come up there, you know, you know, the remnants are coming out, whether you've got, you know, your panties on yet or not. And so I don't know about you, but I have come leak out of me when the guy comes in me, it comes out of me, right? it doesn't get stored anywhere and yet you can imagine that the people who were educated on these types of things and believing them to be true you could see how they could come to the conclusion of oh somebody who has a lot of sex is bad because that you know and it's just it's it's i want to have empathy for the people who aren't even sex positive yet even if they have the potential to be because the conditioning is very real yeah i agree let's see like same thing too like i still have that stigma and it's me And I came from BDSM. Not every DOM is the same. And I think I'm still learning that. I think just because I don't want to go back to BDSM. I was a different person back then. I needed to become the DOM in order to be the person I am now. I don't think I'll probably ever go back to BDSM. But it kills me when there's new couples or new people in the lifestyle. and they're talking about, oh yeah, I have a dom and I'm looking at him going, honey, he's not a dom. He's just a guy who is dominant, who is trying to be a dom, but he's not a dom. So I'm just trying to be, you know, that's you, you do your thing and that's great. I just smile and, you know, oh, good for you because who am I to judge? I mean, I went through what I went through, so. Are you talking more about an intimate dynamic that a dom would have with a sub so that it's like, like I'm trying to understand can you compare why they wouldn't have a dom versus I think um no my I think just because my dom was so harsh um and so like aggressive that I had to learn that like not all doms are the same there's gentle doms and then there's there's gentle dominance and then there's a whole other world from what I knew yeah and I'm still learning that but it's funny because I think like movies like Fifty Shades of Grey, and I make fun of that movie so much because I laughed through the whole thing. It's so funny because they put this whole, you know, fantasy land around it. Yeah. Kind of not, I guess. I don't know. Maybe that's not what I went through. But, you know, I find it hard for myself to try to not judge people on that. So I'm still learning that. That's why I think. Right. We also have to keep learning how to stop being judgmental. It doesn't just happen because you walk into a sex you have to unlearn it just like you said yeah that's why i just kind of smile and nod now and i'm like oh good for you you know i mean you'll learn in your own time and exactly yeah yeah it's it's true and there's so many different kinds of doms so i actually have a video uh that i described a daddy dom dynamic on my youtube channel and i'll put a link in the description but uh there's like daddy dom and baby girl and like you know i like the certain um i don't have a dom but we have dominant role play in bed and I'm very happy in the princess by day slept by night dynamic and it's just with my one partner right I'm not slutting it up outside of that but I'm having like dirty fucking kinky sex even though all day I'm just like oh thank you honey for giving me that or like thank you for like carrying my bags of like you know I like the treatment of princess during the day and I'm not you know maybe I would have in vanilla world been a little too afraid to say that but fuck it's nice to have a guy give you princess treatment it's so nice and it makes me want to be a dirty little whore for them at night and I never would have said that five years ago because I couldn't even say the word whore and now I'm like daddy call me a whore like I'm just like I don't know what happened to me Rose listen don't kid yourself even to this day if someone if someone says good girl I'll die like I literally have to walk away in my vanilla world if I like I just yeah I'll turn all red and like leave it's so funny Yeah, I know the good girl thing can get my panties wet real fast, though, if I'm into that dynamic. So it's so bad. Yeah, but for example, I would never be with a dom that gave me punishments or use physical force or anything like that. So that's the thing is everyone has a different type of dynamic out there that they want. And so that's what I like about it is it's a la carte, you can decide for yourself what makes you happy, what gives you the sparkle inside and what, you know, keep out the stuff that doesn't. So are you into just men? Are you into women? Are you into anyone else? No, I'm actually, I think people don't really realize. I'm into both. I don't really consider myself bi. I consider myself, I make fun of myself, but I'm like bi situational. If that makes any sense. Because it depends on the situation. If I'm vibing with someone, totally cool. Yeah. Doesn't matter if you're a male, female. For me, it doesn't make a difference. But it definitely has to, I have to vibe with them. If there's no vibe, I'm just. Yeah. Yeah, you know. And it's funny because I will go down on the right women, right? I'll go down on women. I'll have a woman experience. But when I naturally click with a woman, my thought is never, oh, I'm going to go and fucking fool around with her. My thought is, who's this nice friend I've just made? So I don't think I'm a bisexual girl. I think I'm bisituational too. And by very situational, like not in general, like it would probably be. So I am looking for a girl right now for me and my partner. So it's my first unicorn that I'm looking for. And so that's something where I'm like, what do I really want? And I'm like, yeah, I do want girl on girl play. So there's part of me that likes that, even though for the rest of my life, I'm more like straight. So yeah, yeah, I get it. Yeah. So it's funny, though, because I thought I was bisexual, and I even identified that way. And then it's funny, because you could almost like, for anyone who's Canadian, you can almost see that the, you know, the reference of the step going backwards from the snow and being like nope I went too far that's not that's not me I'm not by yeah I like tacos but not all the time that's just like you can be confused and frankly I don't know if it's static I don't think you just are something I think that parts in your life or how you're feeling you know in your 40s or your 50s might decide you know like one of my friends on the channel is in her 50s and she's just opening her mind to the idea of maybe having some women play and like think about it like that's somebody who went 50 years on this planet without ever touching a boob and without ever wanting to and then suddenly being like well if that's on the menu i mean like it's just you can't just you can't identify as like i'm statically this because like i've seen a lot of straight men like suck dick or talk about sucking dick and it just it's just the most fascinating phenomenon i've ever seen um so far in my in my experience is how many straight men want to suck dick or have suck dick and i I understand. It's a sexual activity. It's a hedonistic activity. Frankly, I would like more straight men to suck dick so that we get more credit on how much work there is. Yes. And the, the come, the taste of come. I mean, I'm not a fan of it. I know other people are, but part of me is like, why don't you try it? Do you like it? Oh, I'm low-key a come whore. Just. You're a low-key a comer? What does that mean? A come whore. A come whore. Oh, really? Like, low-key. Oh, what does Loki mean? You wouldn't know that about me. Like, it's not everybody. But if I find the right person, then yeah, you just, I'm good. Like, isn't that weird? I know. Well, it's fascinating because when I'm thinking about a threesome for me and my partner, I don't take cum in the mouth. I just can't. I can't eat sushi. I can't take a cum load. What are you going to do? But I want a threesome where that girl swallows my guy's cum. Like, that to me is part of my fantasy threesome because I get to see him have that experience even though i can't give it to him right so uh or won't give it to him at this point in time um kim cattrall of all people uh the actress of sex in the city played samantha she has a quote that i will i have lived by for years and she said something along the lines of for the rest of my life i won't spend an hour doing something i don't want to do and i've lived that way and let me tell you you can get out of appointments you don't want to go to you can get you know just find your way out of situations if they're not bringing you joy or whatever and so i've been living that way and it's very freeing and it's very very cool nice so do you have any advice for somebody who might be uh single or single uh um i guess you want to call single ish um who's coming into the lifestyle nervous about the club environment how do they how do they make friends in a sex club so do you have any advice for either males females uh who might be coming in that way i think it's just to put yourself out there I mean, I think the society puts such a stigma on everything. And going to a lifestyle club is so freeing. And like I said, it's the most I've met the most nonjudgmental people in my life. And in the 40 years that I've been on this earth. So and it hasn't been until the last few years, like couple years that I am able to find like my tribe. So anyone coming into it, it's just just go and do it. Go to the club. I mean, go to the club, meet people, just say hi, my name is blah. I'm, you know, how are you? And that's it. And it doesn't have to be awkward. Have a drink with them, or, you know, sit beside them, really get to know people's story. And I think that, especially for the young males, I think a lot of them kind of just come into this and be like, yeah, I'm gonna fuck, let's fuck everybody, blah, right? But I think if you come into it wholeheartedly, and really come in to just meet people, you'll find what you're looking for. And, you know, and it could be you find that people every single day and you want to fuck. That's great. And that's what you want. But you'll find it if you just try. Yeah. I also, I remember when I was new, the idea, the concept of somebody fucking another person in the same night as someone else was new to me. I thought you came to a DTF night, you had sex with a guy and you went home. Like I was like, mission accomplished, go home. I remember what it was when my friends started coming and they would be like, they'd hook up with a guy and then they'd like go back. the pool for a bit and then they like start making out with a different guy and they go upstairs and I was mindfucked like I was like you don't just stop after you get sex you could go and have like sex with more people you can have more sex right but think about it this is what the this is what the mindset might you know I'm trying to be empathetic of the people coming in who are new from vanilla world mainstream society is they're they're mindfucked by a lot of this right all the naked people around suddenly there's all these body types that are just on display and are you allowed to look are you not So I know it is hard to be to be single. And that's why I like talking to the people who have charted a path through the lifestyle, especially as single, because it shows that yes, it can be done. And it's not usually regretted at all. You usually find friends in addition to sexual partners. And, you know, yeah, it's a bit uncomfortable. What are you going to say? You know, it's a bit uncomfortable. I remember once when I did the intrusive question game, and my friend Amelia from the channel, I was like, what are you guys looking for tonight? And she's like, I'm looking to And then a guy in the circle was like, well, I'm looking to be pegged. And sure enough, they connected later that night and he she fucked him up the ass with a strap on. So amazing. Yeah. And like, I felt like I don't know if it makes any sense to anyone. I felt like Mother Goose, like watching by people like all like do, you know, do well and succeed. And it truly does bring me that joy. Like it just is the reason I do this at the club is to make people feel like they can communicate a in front of people so that people are listening. Oh, are you into Oh, well, that guy over there is too. And how do you know that if you don't say it out loud? So that's the genius of the game is to get people to say things out loud so that other people can connect with them. You said you participated in the intrusive question game yourself. It's a good way to, you know, feel like you're, you're part of people too, right? Like that made you probably more comfortable to talk to anyone else in that circle, right? Absolutely. Yeah. It's been a thrill to get to know your story better. And I didn't even know your if you're married, or not, I knew that I liked you as a person, but we knew in the pool at Oasis never talked about this. So it was fun to get to learn your different story. And do you have any advice for anybody who is in a marriage with someone and they are not lifestyle supportive? Outside of don't ask, don't tell. Is there a way that you think that it would be better to communicate with a partner about the lifestyle that they might understand it more? I think there is that, especially for partners who don't understand the lifestyle, people who are like in the vanilla world, I think, especially partners who are not like in the lifestyle, you have to kind of explain to them that this is something for me. And this is something I need. It's not that we're just running around having sex with every pom, dick and hairy. It's a different type of need that they require. And, you know, your partner if they can't give you that you should be able to you know explore that option but there also has to be like mutual mutual respect like myself um there has to be mutual respect and boundaries and understandings so if you go through that and you can go through like uh you know you don't sleep over anywhere we don't do regular date nights we don't do um things like that i mean there's still things that are sacred in the marriage um it's It should be okay, as long as you have open communication. The couple that I'm really, really good friends with and that I met, they've been in the lifestyle for, I don't know, how many years? Like, so many years. And they have such a strong bond. And I continuously ask them, like, how are you guys even doing this? And it's just because it's open communication for them. They both openly communicate their needs to each other. They've gone through boundaries that they both share. and that's how they're doing it so i mean that's it i think open communication should be it and i like that you said about you have your own specific carved out uh arrangement no sleepovers no standing dates that's not polyamory that is literally just go out experience a bit of life without you know it's like i just i think it's a really interesting uh way to live because as long as you can show up to the marriage and be present and have that be your priority, then it shouldn't matter what you're doing in your own time and in a perfect world, I guess. Right. So. Well, the thing is, too, like I don't, especially when it comes to my family, I don't miss a beat. So it doesn't matter what time I come home on a Saturday night or a Sunday night for Moises. I am still home. Mommy is still home at seven o'clock in the morning, waking up, making you pancakes. Right. Right. It's still the same thing. So, you know, I've lived this double life for 20 something years, and it works for us. So, so cool. Well, that's so cool. Thank you so much. And again, I'm going to put links in the description here to, to get the videos that I've discussed, as well as the playlist for advice. I even have a playlist called advice for singles who want to go to go to Oasis, but don't want to go alone. It's a very long title, but I felt like that's what I was called to title it. So it's meant to help mentally prepare people. the do's and don'ts of sex club, what to wear, what to bring, don't forget the flip-flops if you're going to a sock lounge. So, you know, yeah, like the things, like you want someone who's been around the block to be like, all right, you need these things, don't say these things, you know, don't touch people without consent, you know, and don't expect sex from everybody you meet, I think. So, yeah, so anybody who's curious about the sex club lifestyle, you can get the information there. And you can also talk to me one-on-one on my fan page, which is at onlyfans.com slash Toronto Unicorn. And I also offer one-on-one coaching, especially if you, I want someone to give you a crash course of the lifestyle, help mentally prep one of your partners or both of you in a couple because I've had many sessions like that where one partner is much more comfortable than the other. And so it gives them the opportunity to ask, you know, targeted questions to me in a one-on-one Zoom format. So you can get information about that on my website. But it's been a thrill to get to know you. And every time you put a heart on those Facebook things, I see it and I love it and I appreciate it. And I love women who support women. So thank you so very much. No, thank you. And I'm so eager to like watch what you're coming up with next because I love it. Absolutely love it. I love that. I love that. I mean, I do have a Dear Diary now, which is a new the newest podcast. And it's very different. It's not all about sex and swinging. Sometimes it's about the ups and downs of being a content creator and dealing with the censorship and people like Vimeo, you know, robbing me of my money that I paid to host them while then deleting my account of my content. So I talk about a lot of things in life and it's not all sex and swinging. And I think that's why I love The Six Podcast. Because it's like, I have an ADHD brain. And I'm like, today, I'm going to talk to you about how much I hate Vimeo. And like, you know, and then the next day, it'll be like about how I can't keep up with my boyfriend's sex drive. So that was the last episode I did. And so anyone who's interested in seeing where I go, Dear Diary is the future of trying to unicorn. And I hope that you come and follow me there. So thank you so much. Thank you so much.