Send us Fan MailTuesday Talks: Why We Went Silent – A Heartbreaking Life Update | Episode 52In this episode of The Swing Nation Podcast, the top-rated podcast about non-monogamy and swinging, Dan and Lacy return for a deeply personal edition of their Tuesday Talks segment to answer a question many of you have been asking—why the podcast went silent for over two weeks.In a candid and emotional conversation, they open up about a devastating life event that brought their world to a halt. With vulnerability and honesty, Dan and Lacy share what they’ve been going through, how it’s impacted their lives, and the importance of community during times of hardship.This episode is less about swinging and more about real life, resilience, and connection. Whether you re a long-time listener or new to the show, this heartfelt update is a reminder that behind the content are real people facing real challenges.Thank you for your continued love and support—it means more now than ever.- The Swing Nation - Main Website Quick Navigation Website: -- (Find all our social media links more!)- Swinger Society - Our Website to meet, connect events Swinger Society Discord Our Facebook Group- Swinger Websites -Kasadie 90 day free trialUsername: TheSwingNation SDC 14 day free trial Username: TheSwingNation** Use code 36313 for 14 days free! ** SLSUsername: NorthernGuynSouthernGirl- Merch More -Order Your Merch Here!- Lacy’s Fun Links -VIP OnlyFansPREMIUM OnlyFans-- THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS --Wisp : Making sexual healthcare inclusive, cost-effective, and accessible—for everyoneUse Code SWING at checkout for 15% off your oder!Shameless Care: ED Medication and at home STD testingUse Code TSN at checkout for $30 off your order!Promescent® Make Love Longer, It’s Time for Great SexUse Code SwingNation for 5% off!Sing it Bikinis: adjustable one-size styles, thoughtfully crafted to flatter every body type.Support the show- Thank you for the support! -
Transcript
Speaker1: This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. Speaker2: Welcome to the Swing Nation Podcast, a podcast by swingers and for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe. Interview the activists, learn and grow together. Speaker1: Join the activists. Learn and grow together. Join the nation. So Lacey, people are asking, how do they get to go to a party or an event with us? They check out swingersociety.net, you create a you sign up for an event and you come hang out with us Speaker2: super easy that's right if you want to party with us and the other faces and names that you know from social media and tiktok head on over to swingersociety.net can't wait to see you there Tuesday Talks Just send your questions So Dan and Lake said Tuesday Talks Speaker1: Swing Nation got you feeling sexy hey there pineapple people and welcome to the swing nation podcast we are your host northern and Southern Girl, and we are back with another rendition of Tuesday Talks. We're back. We're back. We were back last week. We were back. Yeah. So in case you didn't know, this is our first Tuesday Talk episode back. It's actually the first Tuesday Talks back in three weeks. Yeah. And then last Thursday, we had our Ashley Madison interview. And that was the first full episode back. And we missed two of those. Which some people were not happy about the Ashley Madison. Can we talk real quick? Like just like two minutes about that real quick? Sure. People like somebody come in, they're like, do not partner with them. Yeah. Like they were a little disappointed in us for doing that. And I actually commented back before you had a chance to do it. And I said, which I stand by this, is we don't promote cheating here. We have been cheated on. We've cheated in the past relationships. And that is not something that we are looking to do. Correct. But we do acknowledge that some people have chosen that route and will continue to choose that route and if you're being honest it's it's still an active part of the lifestyle it is yeah so there are couples that will fuck married men or women and then there there are singles that will go meet up with couples that are married and then there's people that cheat and then they end up in the lifestyle. Right, they're lifestyle couples that cheat on each other. Yeah, or people that join the lifestyle because someone cheated. So we're not saying go out and do that. We're just acknowledging that this is part of the lifestyle. It is part of the lifestyle. And Ashley Madison is a huge story. Yeah. And kind of flattered that they even reached out and wanted to be on our podcast. We kind of fangirled that they wanted to be on the podcast but we do think that it deserves a conversation we can pretend like it doesn't exist and and sweep it under the rug but it is something worth notating and that's just kind of what we did we just had a conversation about it agreed agreed okay now to this week's tuesday talk question which i think is the question that everybody's been kind of – if we've received a question in one week where we've got the same question over and over, this is the question that we've got the most. Yeah, like where the hell were we basically?
Speaker3:
Yeah.
Speaker2:
So here's just a few.
Speaker3:
Hello, Dan.
Speaker2:
Oh, nope. Hope everything is okay with you two. I miss your show. I listen every week.
Speaker3:
Are you guys still doing your podcasts? I've not seen any new episodes hi are you still reporting podcast the last one i see is from two weeks ago hope you're both doing okay if i ever doubted that we had a community um the last few weeks has really proven that we 100 do because we have never missed a podcast. When we started the podcast, we were like, well, we're going to try to do two of mine. And then somehow we just really committed to it. And we've never missed, never missed a Thursday. And since we added in Tuesday talks, we've never missed a Tuesday. And y'all really showed us that you care about us and that you appreciate the podcast. So y'all very very much so we went about three and a half years without missing a single episode which is pretty pretty impressive yeah i think so uh and so that comes to why why we missed episodes and i think it goes back to you know we get the question all the time would you guys ever stop swinging would you guys ever quit the lifestyle and we've always said like we don't want to do that i don't see ourselves doing that but there are circumstances in life that sometimes just come up where you you have no control yeah and this was one of those circumstances so it was a couple of things um first and foremost my dad was really sick he um had all five well he had four toes he was a severe diabetic and so he had four toes on it was his left side right left side um removed he had those amputated and then like a few days later wait well i'm telling the the story wrong. Hold on. You are. Hold on. Let's back up.
Speaker1:
Okay.
Speaker3:
He, then we knew he needed an ampute, something needed to be amputated. So it was spring break. The doctor was going out of town.
Speaker1:
He was like, you know, let's send him to rehab.
Speaker3:
Let's let him build some muscle back up.
Speaker1:
Let him get a little bit surgier on his feet. And then we'll come back and we'll decide what needs to be amputated. So while that happened, my dad fell at rehab and broke his hip. What sucks is we were really freaked out that this was going to cause major problems, and it did. So he broke his hip. He had hip surgery on Monday. And then 48 hours later, they amputated those four toes.
Speaker3:
Thank you. his hip he had a hip surgery on monday and then 48 hours later they uh amputated those four toes
Speaker1:
so within 48 hours he had two pretty you know major surgeries um and then he was officially diagnosed with dementia like within the week and he also had some delirium i don't know if i had never i thought that was just something they yeah i really had never heard of delirium Thank you. like within the week and he also had some delirium i don't know if i had never i thought that was just something they yeah i really had never heard of delirium so if people don't know like delirious i'd heard you're delirious but like delirium in the hospital which is a you know a lot of elderly people or anybody i guess that has trauma you know gets confused especially if you have dementia, that kind of, I'm assuming doesn't help. But he basically just didn't really know where he was. Sometimes he would be almost comatose, you know, then sometimes you walk in and he'd be like, hey, it's my family. So you really didn't know what you were getting one day day to the other. He also is a dialysis patient. So, he does dialysis Monday, Wednesdays, and Fridays. And so, it was like he'd have a good day, and then he'd go to dialysis, and then he would kind of like would do bad, and then he would do good and bad. So, it was just like a lot of up and downs. He essentially ended up being in the hospital for a month. And he ended up going to a new rehab facility because they'd done everything for him at the hospital. And he was there about maybe a week, would you say? Yeah. The only other thing I'll note is he wasn't eating that whole time. Oh, yeah. So he was not eating. But they felt like him going to rehab might help with the delirium some. And since it really wasn't improving in the hospital, they were like, let's try this. In worst case, if he doesn't keep eating, he'll have to come back. But he got to rehab and it was pretty apparent that he was not going to get any better. That he was not eating. He was not rehabbing at all. Like he had done zero rehab. Um, it was just, it was just very apparent that he was not really, he was having conversations about things that were years and years old. It was just, I don't know the best way to describe it. So, um, the decision was made that he should come home on hospice he came i just i made the call basically wednesday night i got to my sister was a patient of my dad's doctor my sister died 13 years ago um and the same doctor was one of my dad's doctors and i basically made the decision like, like, on a Wednesday night, she called me at home. I talked to the doctor. I talked to the hospice lady because it happened to be her best friend. So we kind of got, like, the all-star treatment, basically. And then Thursday morning, I showed up to rehab about 9. My dad was home before lunch. And so it was Thursday. He passed away on Sunday. So he passed away on March 30th. It was really a terrible situation. But what was awesome about it is because it was over the weekend, we were able to get my brother and all the grandkids and all the cousins and everyone was able to come to our house and see him. But all of this was going on during the days of of the podcast it was really almost impossible for us to stop go to the office do the podcast but yeah my dad passed on that sunday um which sucks um on top of all of that dan has been sick so we thought you had sharp throat that we and so that's why we honestly didn't come and do the like earlier in that week like we would have recorded Tuesday on Monday which was kind of calmer um but you we thought you had strep throat or something you hadn't tested positive for you were negative for the flu and COVID because I'd done an at-home test and we're like you could barely talk and then you would have I could have sat down and talked for an hour and let you, you know, edit it and everything, but you were just really sick. I was going to let you jump in here. No, no, that's it. Yeah. So he passed on Sunday and then, you know, obviously then the following week, we kind of took the week off as well. We did, but the following week was Secrets Week and I want to comment on that because i might get negative comments about going to secrets so i think it's worth talking about um because i want to not justify it because i don't have to justify it um oh and we also forget my mom was in the hospital during all of this yeah we forgot i forgot to mention that my mom was actually in the hospital when my dad passed um it was so if anybody's listening to this for the first time lacy's mother has stage four lung cancer um and so that was why that's when that diagnosis happened that's why her dad and her mom came to live with us and that was about nine months ago yeah it was august first august so she had uh she went to um i took to the, so while everybody was at the house visiting my dad, I had taken my mom to the doctor on Friday, determined that she needed platelets. So Saturday morning they made her an appointment for like eight 30 that morning to get platelets. And, um, usually I don't sit in there with her. She doesn't like for me to like, she doesn't want me sitting sitting there staring at her while she's getting a treatment or anything. So typically I'll sit in my car or run errands. So I think I went to Target and I was actually in the parking lot getting ready, you know, waiting for her to get done. And they, the doctors called and said they were taking her by ambulance to the hospital, which was across the street. And she had just, she wasn't doing well. come to find out she ended up having an infection um as well as her she needed blood transfusion platelet um and she had just she wasn't doing well come to find out she ended up having an infection um as well as her she needed blood transfusion platelets all the things so she got an infection from her port yeah and had was septic yes she was um so after but my mom came home in the middle of that so she came home for a couple of days and ended up going back to the hospital. But she came home. Dad had passed. We had went to the funeral home in general. And dad did not want a traditional funeral, which we still haven't done that. We're going to do that in May. So it was really just like we were in and out of the funeral home for like, we were there for an hour. You were late and I was basically done by the time you got there. Um, so really once we did that and mom, mom actually got out of the hospital that Monday and we came home and I looked at you and said, I got to get out of here. Um, because that was our secret week, uh, to that Friday and Saturday where, or well, I guess Thursday now. Thursday, Friday, Saturday. It started that week. And honestly, we were trying to figure out how the hell we were going to get to secrets and how we were going to throw it. We had done no prep work. The trailer hadn't been loaded. Nothing had been packed. And our sweet friends were so wonderful. They were messaging us and texting. Like, what can we do? How can we help and we just kind of was like everybody just wait let's friends employees yeah everybody they were so sweet and we were dan and i were talking too like who could drive the truck who would we trust to drive the trailer so we were talking about it too and we were just like just let's just see how everything falls. Because at first we were like, Dan, go. We talked about you just going later or maybe me flying in. So finally, after everything had kind of settled, I looked at you and was like, I got to get the hell out of here. I don't know. I just, I was really struggling with everything. And I thought like maybe being around my friends and, you know, the last month had just been so stressful that i just needed to get out of town yeah i thought i think like you said some people might be critical of how could you your dad pass and then you go to a swingers party um and and i i can understand that it wasn't about the swingers party it was about the friends well and that's what i was going to say what maybe you miss if that's what you're thinking is this was a month of a very hard time yeah you know where we're basically we're living in in emergency rooms and and rehab centers and you know having daily conversations about what the best course of action was which is it's just it's just a horrible i wouldn't want to wish that type of decision making on anybody um and so once your dad did pass and it was kind of finalized it was almost like okay we just need to take a break like we need to breathe like we need yeah like ideally the best place would have been like on the ocean and on a balcony it's like with just me and you but unfortunately we throw swinger events so my option was stay home we had about six figures yeah invested in this party in florida my options were stay home or go with you and i was just like i gotta go i just gotta get my mom was like please go please go my aunt everybody that is like my people that helped me were like you can go you can go so that was monday tuesday which this is kind of going into secrets so we'll kind of pause it till we get to secrets but tuesday we worked our asses off all day getting everything loaded and prepared and ready and um we ended up leaving super late on tuesday driving like four hours too because it's such a long drive um and we'll we'll talk about the rest when we do our secrets episode on thursday but um but yeah i'll be honest third wednesday night no we got there thursday night thursday night i was kind of like second guessing my decision like should i've been here yeah i was really not in a good mindset but by third by thursday i was really okay or by friday i'm sorry by friday i was really okay yeah yeah well it's you know and i think i'm not okay that's maybe not the term i didn't mean to interrupt you but like maybe not okay but like okay enough to get through the weekend yeah when i think anybody can relate
Speaker2:
like if you've ever found yourself you know if we ever go through a sad experience right and we find ourselves depressed and struggling what you want to do is go hide in your room lock the door and just forget about the world right but truthfully you know the best thing you can do when you're going through that is be around people that love you.
Speaker3:
No, a hundred percent.
Speaker1:
I cried the whole way there. Like my face was swollen when we arrived at secrets because I'm the type of person that once I start crying,
Speaker3:
um,
Speaker1:
I don't stop. Like you can look at me and I cry, which I'm really fighting back tears right now.
Speaker3:
Can you tell? Um,
Speaker1:
but I'm trying really hard not to cry. Uh, I cry and I had been crying for like a week straight at that point. My face was swollen. You know, my eyes were sore. And my goal was to not cry the day before. You know, I was like, okay, I got to get my shit together. You know, I'm not crying, but I did. And it kind of helped me get a little bit out of my funk to be honest it did you know i've cried when appropriate at least when appropriate sorry since we've been home but it really helped me kind of like i don't know what's the right not move past it because i'm definitely not past it at all um work through yeah some of it i think break break out of that funk a little bit you know get get out of that you know because like you said if you're sitting at home and just thinking about it and stewing on it and you just you wallow in those those emotions and yeah so being able to step outside of that i think was good for you and it was good you know seeing you laugh and smile and have fun with your friends um you know in between moments of sadness was rewarding and i definitely wasn't 100 a secret nowhere even close um and i think people that knew what was going on like i was live today on tiktok and like jc said which meant a lot he's like i think given everything that you had been through i thought you did amazing which meant a lot to me that he said that because i don't know i'm gonna cry okay i'm trying really hard not to cry but um it was it wasn't it wasn't an easy experience to go and like essentially suck it up like the show must go on but everybody was super kind and sweet and people that knew were – I didn't go and tell everybody. You know, some people, if they asked how my parents were, I just said, okay. You know, depending on who I ask, you know, and how I was feeling was how I answered it. Yeah. I think that's one thing about this you know being an entrepreneur
Speaker2:
and being on social media that people don't maybe necessarily think about and something i didn't really think about is there is no like i need to take two weeks off you know i mean there is no like okay i'm not gonna do this um for a couple weeks you know those tiktoks have to go up you
Speaker1:
know the podcasts have to go out the if you got got an event scheduled and you've got a contract signed, it has to happen. There's no real way to call in sick and turn that off. Now, we could have if we hadn't gone to secrets. We have amazing staff that could throw in. And we knew that. We have business partners. We did have a plan B, but gosh, that's not an easy thing to do i mean that would be very crucial part of that whole thing so yeah and it would have disappointed people if we weren't there you know stuff like that um so uh you know i think we made the best out of a shitty situation we did yeah yeah we did um still dealing with all of that still emotional about all that mom is still really struggling she ended up going back into the hospital we had a caregiver with her she wasn't alone so don't freak out everybody we hired someone so she had someone with her but she ended up going back to the hospital and she just got she just came home like friday it's monday and so she's still dealing she's got an appointment in the morning at 8 15 so she still is dealing with a lot of stuff um she is still really sick so there's just a lot right it's just a lot and it's really heavy and you know when mom and dad moved in with us at august we knew that like that it's like sorry i'm just getting choked up a little we knew that april through august is like our busy our busy time like we still had stuff going on august through like march but it was much more like once a month type of thing once you hit april it's like week-long things and then it's just back to back and it's really busy so like the odds of dad passing like four days before secrets i mean was crazy that that's how it was you know fell um and and now my mom's really sick and we're going into like our busy season. So it's a lot, it's a lot of anxiety around all of that. So if you, if you see us go MIA again, hopefully we won't, I think we probably should record a couple of like random, like educational TikToks. It's like, cause the unfortunate part in, like you said if if you doubt that we have a community everybody knew what happened i mean everybody had a good idea yes even if they didn't know if we said no words we didn't tell a soul that podcast going silent for two weeks people knew something had happened they didn't know if it was my dad or if it was my mom or something but they knew something something had happened. Nobody even accused us of getting divorced or nothing. No. I was like, I'm fine. And you know what's crazy is like even our sponsors were wonderful. Like what a community. Like our sponsor was like one of them we talked to. He was like, I'll reach out back out to you in a week. You don't need me in your hair. You've got enough on your plate. I'll talk to you in a week. You um it and that we're dealing with money we're dealing with people's money their time you know and so for everyone to be contracts yeah so wonderful um i really appreciate it me too me too so i think that answers that question yeah i'm sorry it's It's a tough question, but it was one that had to be answered. Yeah. All right. So stay tuned. But I'm super, let me just say, thank you. Thank you to everyone who reached out. If you text, if you called, if you commented. Emailed. If you did anything, if you asked someone, thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Thank you for being patient with us doing this podcast. There's going to be times where things happen. And we try our hardest to get one out each week or two every once. Set flowers and food. So, to be honest with you, my vanilla friends, like, barely reached out. But it was my swinger friends that really came through for us. So very appreciative of that. So anyway, let's wrap her up.
Speaker3:
I'm done. I can't. I can't. Okay. Okay. All right.
Speaker2:
Well, we appreciate you guys. Thanks for listening. Thanks for being there for us. We're back. We're going to continue to put these podcasts out hopefully uh no breaks anytime in the near future fingers crossed all right well i think with that in a world full of apples be the pineapple be the pineapple guys bye bye if you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support, leave a five-star review wherever you're listening. If you want to see more of our content, you can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Swinger content creators on our Swinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at theswingnation at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to theswingnation.net and keep up to date on all things Swing Nation. We thank you so much for joining us and we'll see you next time. Goodbye.
