Send us Fan MailTuesday Talks: When Lifestyle Friends Cross the Line in Public | Episode 53In this episode of The Swing Nation Podcast, the top-rated podcast about non-monogamy and swinging, Dan and Lacy dive into another candid conversation for their Tuesday Talks segment—this time tackling a question that hits close to home for many in the lifestyle.A listener writes in, frustrated after discovering that their lifestyle friends outed them as swingers to other lifestyle people they all ran into at a public bar. Now they’re wondering—what’s the proper etiquette in this kind of situation?Dan and Lacy break it down with their signature honesty, empathy, and real-talk attitude. Their take on discretion, consent, and community might just surprise you—and could change the way you navigate public lifestyle encounters.Whether you re new to the lifestyle or a seasoned swinger, this episode is packed with valuable insights, thoughtful perspectives, and some surprising advice. Don t miss this important conversation about privacy, respect, and the unspoken rules of the lifestyle.- The Swing Nation - Main Website Quick Navigation Website: -- (Find all our social media links more!)- Swinger Society - Our Website to meet, connect events Swinger Society Discord Our Facebook Group- Swinger Websites -Kasadie 90 day free trialUsername: TheSwingNation SDC 14 day free trial Username: TheSwingNation** Use code 36313 for 14 days free! ** SLSUsername: NorthernGuynSouthernGirl- Merch More -Order Your Merch Here!- Lacy’s Fun Links -VIP OnlyFansPREMIUM OnlyFans-- THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS --Wisp : Making sexual healthcare inclusive, cost-effective, and accessible—for everyoneUse Code SWING at checkout for 15% off your oder!Shameless Care: ED Medication and at home STD testingUse Code TSN at checkout for $30 off your order!Promescent® Make Love Longer, It’s Time for Great SexUse Code SwingNation for 5% off!Sing it Bikinis: adjustable one-size styles, thoughtfully crafted to flatter every body type.Support the show- Thank you for the support! -
Transcript
Speaker1: This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. Welcome to the Swing Nation Podcast, a podcast by swingers and for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe. Interview the activists, learn and grow together. Join the activists. Learn and grow together. Join the nation. So Lacey, people are asking, how do they get to go to a party or an event with us? They check out swingersociety.net, you create a you sign up for an event and you come hang out with us super easy that's right if you want to party with us and the other faces and names that you know from social media and tiktok head on over to swingersociety.net can't wait to see you there Tuesday Talks Just send your questions So Dan and Lake said Tuesday Talks Speaker2: Swing Nation got you feeling sexy Tuesday Talks Just send your questions to Dan and Lacey Speaker1: Tuesday Talks Swing Nation got you feeling sexy Tuesday Talks Talking Tuesday with Dan and Lacey How about that high note? That was perfect Hey there pineapple people and welcome to the Swing Nation podcast We are your hosts, Northern Guy And Southern Girl And today we are your hosts northern guy and southern girl and today we are back with another rendition of tuesday talks yeah talking tuesday with dan and lacy oh how about that i know what is our question for today i don't know let's go to the phone line and find out. Hey, Dan and Lacey. I have a question. My husband and I are in the lifestyle, and this weekend we met another couple at a local bar. We are from this area, and they are not, but they're not far from here, and and they're in town pretty frequently so we met this couple for the first time and um after i don't know maybe an hour we decided to change venues and we walked up the street to another bar where there's some live music there happened to be several other swinger couples in that bar. And these are people that my husband and I don't know, but the other couple did know. They immediately told everyone else that we are swingers. And that has kind of rubbed me the wrong way. This is our hometown area. We are not, you know, uh unfortunately we don't feel comfortable um just being open in in this area um so it it kind of bothered me that they told people we didn't know that we were in the lifestyle even if those other people are in lifestyle um it's possible that other people at that venue um knew that some of the other couples were swingers and by association we would look guilty if that makes sense um and i hate to phrase it that way but i don't know how else to say it so So, am I right to feel a little bothered by this?
Speaker2:
Was it really? i don't know how else to say it so um am i right to feel a little bothered by this
Speaker1:
um was it really no big deal uh i guess what's the what's your opinion on the protocol here should someone else tell other people that you're a swinger or should that just be left up to you um anyway i just wanted to get your opinion on that thank you guys so much for the podcast Thank you. other people that you're a swinger or should that just be left up to you um anyway i just wanted to get your opinion on that thank you guys so much for the podcast i am definitely a regular listener and i hope you guys have a good day all right so she uh anonymous i don't think she told us her name no but we can see her phone number right so we have her phone number and her area code and if she still lives in the area where her phone number is from i totally understand because she's about an hour away from us yeah they like honestly she might have came like to our hometown which is not a very big area i mean it's big but it's not it gives hometown vibes there's hometown vibes yeah there definitely are some swears there are some in this area and i know a few bars with live music that might have swears in them yes in this area correct um so you know so only she will know our secret of where exactly we are on the map. Or where that might be. Yes. Right. If she still lives there. Okay. So, you know, I knew this was a good question because after she hung up, Dan and I were listening because we had been gone for a few weeks. So, we had quite a few to choose from. Tuesday Talks, yeah. Yeah. And so, we were listening to them while we were getting everything set up. And me and you had like a discussion about this one. This one isn't very one isn't very cut and dry no it's not so i knew this was a good one to pick because it sparked conversation between you and i so when we were picking them i was like we should totally do that one um do you want to start you want me to start well okay i will start and what i will say is as a general rule you should not out anybody as a swinger correct right if you are a swinger and you know that somebody else is a swinger do not go around telling your friends or people oh you know beth and and john over here they're our swingers did you hear that did you know that oh beth you know you should not that's do not do that no don't post pictures of people that aren't public if you are public don't whatever the case may be do your best to protect people's identity as a swinger because you can almost like hear it in the way she talks about it there's repercussions there's real light people can lose their job their kids and she apologized for that she don't apologize we are we are public but we don't expect everyone else to be like we don't hold it against you for being private we were private for a long time we totally get it so i think your feelings are valid around that yeah if you don't make your money from only fans and throwing swinger parties you probably need to stay private because of the repercussions that can occur from that especially in this area that that we're talking about where we live so i think a general sense is like her feelings are valid 100 like she should it should rub her the wrong way because we shouldn't be outing each other um but i would be a hypocrite if I didn't admit that, honestly, I probably would have done the same thing that person did anyway. How many times have we been out with a bunch of our friends and we see somebody over there and we're like, oh, those are our friends. Yeah, they're in the lifestyle too. Super casual, no ill intent. Kind of like, hey, they're hot. lifestyle too you know like let's rank let's get them to come hang out you know this is why i started with the you should never out somebody as a swinger is a general rule because i am kind of feel the same way you do in this case yeah i think i would do the same thing i would have too and i also don't know how you can avoid doing it yeah right this fly is driving me fucking nuts get the fuck away from me it's like that anyway he's gonna come back uh so in this situation i don't know how you avoid doing it right so here's what happened they met up with this couple at a restaurant a bar or something like that they sat together they got to know each other and then they're like hey this bar next door has live music it's pretty cool like you want to go but maybe they're thinking about dancing you know maybe swapping partners while they dance or whatever they go over to said bar the couple they're with happens to run into a bunch of friends that they know that are swingers i don't if i met if i ran into my friends that are with another couple and me and you are swingers and we're with some of our you almost have to say it right because you're gonna ask you're gonna say oh cool that couple you're with they're cute are they lifestyle are they vanilla and you kind of let someone you typically when we're out in a lifestyle setting if we meet somebody we're gonna say hey they're vanilla so like basically don't out us you know we're gonna say they're vanilla like basically don't out us just say we're friends hanging out now you're in a group of swingers yeah listening to live music even though it's in a vanilla this isn't a lifestyle club or party right you're in a vanilla setting but what swingers do is you're gonna flirt you're gonna grab ash you're gonna you know in a consensual way you know making sure it's okay and in the setting are much more affectionate even you know we've think about we've been on in on the strip in nashville we've been on at bars right here in our hometown you just if you know somebody's a swinger you're just a little more open and flirty with them so if you know right up off the top that these people are not swingers they're manila you'll just be more respectful and you say that typically we're like oh these are vanilla friends from school or these are vanilla friends from church or where warning warning do not try to hit on these people so the opposite of that is oh there are friends and they've been out now should you announce it to the whole bar no should you like casually lean over and just kind of softly say it yes so i don't know how these people did it um but basically like your your feelings are valid I totally get what you're saying but i think in this one setting it's unavoidable yeah and it's almost like you it's almost the more respectful thing to do because had you not been swingers and they didn't tell their friends you weren't swingers their friends might have overstepped with you so i want to bring this up because i was just sitting here thinking that about it. So one time we were out with Swinger Friends and this other couple we ran into. I'm literally listening to a lot of music. I couldn't make this shit up. But they never told us they were lifestyle. Do you know who I'm talking about? We're going to pause it so I can tell him. But y'all can't know. Okay. So I told him who this couple of weeks, so now he knows what I'm talking about. When they came into the bar, no one said their lifestyle. So we were like, it was like a mystery that we were trying to figure out. Like, how do you behave? You know, how do you, because it was like late night. It wasn't like at seven o'clock on a, you know, Wednesday night. We were at like a bar with live music at 11 o'clock at night we're all drinking and so i was in here once in these like gorgeous couple and they're hanging out with us and we're like uh are they are they not so it just kind of made for like a weird thing and then eventually i think we figured out that they asked them yeah or like like they totally were but no one they did something that made it obvious yeah but nobody mentioned it so this was like this awkward like what do we do so so in that case it would have just been so much nicer but like oh these are our friends john and beth is that what she said earlier john and beth and their lifestyle you know like that would have just made everything easier i think this is the one exception and i think as a general rule if you are a lifestyle person and other people are lifestyle people it's fight club at that point right so like we all are in this together so we're all trying to protect each other together i also think that if you go to a vanilla bar with lifestyle people there is assum assumable risk there. I mean. In your hometown. In your hometown. Yeah. I think in this situation, if you don't want what happened to occur again. You don't go out. You don't go out with lifestyle people in your hometown. Honestly, I can think on one hand the amount of times that we personally have been out in our hometown lifestyle. Always with naughty gym yeah or most of them um and we try not to do it either and we're public right you know you know we've actually had conversations about this our platform has gotten so big now on social media and you know and even the podcast and stuff that like there's millions of people now that know who we are and that we're swingers so it almost doesn't matter where we go now if somebody sees you having dinner with us or out dancing with us we're putting you at risk yeah you know i mean like if you're hanging out with dan and lacy like you're kind of at risk of being outed wherever you are we thought about that the last naughty gym party we went um we ended up in a vip not like because anybody was fancy because there was a big group of us and there was a slow night so they were like y'all go up there and after we drove home i was like you know those people put themselves like at risk of being outed just being in that vip with us. Yeah. Well, and Naughty Gym, they're pretty public too. Yeah. Naughty Gym is, yeah, same. That's what I said, was thinking, you know, the four of us, you're pretty much like open. And some of the people that were in that VIP were pretty like, I mean, I'm not gonna say big wigs in town, but they had pretty like real jobs. They had real jobs. They were not only fans, were not only fans girls you know they could they they could have lost a lot if they were outed so i just i think that's worth mentioning if you're if you're going out in your hometown there is an assumed risk it doesn't matter especially yeah if you're going out in your hometown with swingers because here's the truth is swingers are gonna do things that make it obvious that they're no matter how hard you try you know you go out and you start listening to music and dancing what's gonna what's probably gonna happen is people are gonna start dancing with other people's husbands and then you're gonna switch and just start dancing with other like and I love that like it's fun for me like when we go to Nashville and we go out with a group of swingers and like and go to a vanilla bar people are looking at us like yeah i love fucking with vanillas like because they can't comprehend what is happening yeah we've literally had people come up to us and ask us who are you guys and what what is going on here like what what is this like because they don't under they can't comprehend when they see us now we'll do that in nashville we would not do that in our. I would probably do it in our hometown. I don't give a fuck. But everybody knows. Because you're not born and raised here. But they all know already. I know. Everybody in this town knows who we are. I know that. But I try not to like put it in their face. We also never go out. Like maybe once every six months. If that. And it's usually to the strip club. Yeah. Nobody gives a shit there. So, to answer your question your feelings are valid if you're upset by what happened yeah two is a general rule you should never out anybody as a swinger in a social setting when you're with swingers and you run into other swingers that conversation is going to happen it's just going to happen it's unavoidable and it's and i would argue it's kind of the respectful thing to do so that people have an idea of what the boundaries are yeah or don't you know if that if you were with a vanilla couple then i think everybody else would tone it down to not out you to the vanilla couple right so people would try to protect you from making it obvious that you're a swinger yeah um so it's almost a conversation that has to happen i think um so that's that's how i feel about no i agree um so that might not be the answer you wanted but uh i think that's the right answer yeah so i hope that helps um and yeah my advice to you is if you are in fear of being outed in your hometown probably don't go out with swingers in your hometown yeah all right so if you have a tuesday talk question we would love to hear from you there's a few different ways you can get your questions to us you can email them to the swing nation at gmail.com the swing nation at gmail.com or now you can text or call i like hearing your voicemails and the messages you leave because we can hear i like hearing people's voice and their inflection and it makes i think you more real to us and to our listeners the phone was ringing today when i was working in the office and i almost answered it like to freak somebody out like hey it would probably be like uh spam i know but it was ringing i was like lacy's whorehouse how can i help you that would be funny um okay so you can call or text and that phone number is 972-302-7716 one more time 972-302-7716 so we'd love hear from you. We'd love to hear your Tuesday Talk questions. You can text us if you just want to say hi. Yeah. We've got people who have sent us pictures of all kinds of things. We've got some dick pics. Yeah. I think we've gotten boots and ass. We've got the whole ass before. So send them away. We usually don't text back no we're not gonna text back unless i mean but lacy might answer the phone for all you know you never know i might surprise somebody the phone usually is around yeah he had like left it charging so it would be usually so the truth is the phone usually stays in our studio yeah and so we don't have it on us all the time no never do yeah but you had plugged it in where i was working i was prepping for the cruise and it was ringing i was actually on like a voice chat in discord working on inventory and stuff but i was like i was talking to diana i was like i should answer that yeah let's freak them out that would have been funny yeah okay so i think that's it for this episode um i was gonna say if you have a question but uh i think that's it for this episode i think with that in a world full of apples be the pineapple be the pineapple guys if you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us leave a five-star review wherever you're're listening. If you want to see more of our content, you can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Swinger content creators on our Swinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at theswingnation at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to theswingnation.net and keep up to date on all things Swing Nation. We thank you so much for joining us and we'll see you next time.
