Send us Fan MailTuesday Talks: Tackling the Tag-Along Problem in Swinging | Episode 34In this episode of The Swing Nation Podcast, the top-rated lifestyle podcast about non-monogamy and swinging, Dan and Lacy are back with another Tuesday Talks segment, answering your listener questions!This week, Simon and Sophie call in with a tricky situation: how do you handle unwanted tag-alongs who show up to a play session uninvited? Dan and Lacy dive into the complexities of setting up orgies, maintaining comfort during intimate encounters, and navigating awkward moments in the lifestyle.Tune in for practical advice, tips for addressing these situations gracefully, and stories to help you keep your playtime drama-free and fun!- The Swing Nation - Main Website Quick Navigation Website: -- (Find all our social media links more!)- Swinger Society - Our Website to meet, connect events Swinger Society Discord Our Facebook Group- Swinger Websites -Kasadie 90 day free trialUsername: TheSwingNation SDC 14 day free trial Username: TheSwingNation** Use code 36313 for 14 days free! ** SLSUsername: NorthernGuynSouthernGirl- Merch More -Order Your Merch Here!- Lacy’s Fun Links -VIP OnlyFansPREMIUM OnlyFans-- THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS --Wisp : Making sexual healthcare inclusive, cost-effective, and accessible—for everyoneUse Code SWING at checkout for 15% off your oder!Shameless Care: ED Medication and at home STD testingUse Code TSN at checkout for $30 off your order!Promescent® Make Love Longer, It’s Time for Great SexUse Code SwingNation for 5% off!Sing it Bikinis: adjustable one-size styles, thoughtfully crafted to flatter every body type.Support the show- Thank you for the support! -
Transcript
Speaker1: This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. Speaker2: Welcome to the Swing Nation Podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers. We'll be right back. Welcome to the Swing Nation podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe, Speaker1: interview the experts, learn and grow together. Join the nation. So Lacey, people are asking, how do they get to go to a party or an event with us? They check out swingersociety.net. You create a profile, you sign up for an event, and you come hang out with us. Super easy. That's right. If you want to party with us and the other faces and names that you know from social media and TikTok, head on over to swingersociety.net. Can't wait to see you there. Sexual health care can be so much more than STI testing. WISP offers services like emergency contraception, help in delaying your period, UTI treatments, and so much more. They even have a product called the OMG Cream that helps provide more fulfilling orgasms for women. WISP provides same-day prescriptions and can give you discreet treatment in the comfort and privacy of your own home. Check out the link in our show notes or go to HelloWiz.com and use code SWING for 15% off. Most people have unprotected oral sex, right? Be honest. Now think about your last STD test. Did your doctor tickle your throat with something that looked like a giant Q-tip? Probably not. Yet that's the only way to check for oral gonorrhea or chlamydia, which are often asymptomatic. You need a better doctor. You need shamelesscare.com. Use coupon code TSN at checkout. Tuesday Talks, just send your questions to Dan and Lacey. Tuesday Talks, Swing Nation got you feeling sexy. Tuesday Talks. Talking Tuesday with Dan and Lacey. Ooh, how about that high note? That was perfect. Hey there, Pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. We are your hosts, Northern Guy. And Southern Girl. And today we're back with another rendition of tuesday talks yeah talking tuesday with dan lacy with dan lacy uh still no jingles i mean still no jingles it's pretty hard to beat that one i'm not gonna lie you're loving it i do like i kind of forget that we're doing a podcast when you're playing and i'm over here dancing jamming out yeah all right so this week we do have a phone call um question that was called in are you ready for it i am all right let's do it hey dan and lacy i'm simon and i'm sophie and we had a pretty simple question you guys could probably help us out with here um so this is for the tuesday talks we were wondering if you're at an event and you're downstairs that like the meet and greet portion of it everybody's kind of hanging out and you are vibing with a couple of couples and you invite them up to your room but a third couple shows up or tags along and you don't want them there how do you politely ask them to leave so yeah if you guys could just uh help us out with that one because it seems to keep happening to us it'd be greatly appreciated love your show talk to you soon great question great question also like how they said talk to you soon like like we're we're gonna talk to them later like yeah we're buddies well that's their name so was it sophie and sam simon simon and sophie that's cute like names yeah that's like they go together cute couple names yeah yeah um we're gonna talk to them later oh we are i no idea. I do like thinking about, like, what do people look like? They sound cute. Well, which is funny because that one couple that, do you all remember the Tuesday talks where the couple said they talked to us and they felt like they were bothering us? They actually responded and sent their pictures and they were very good looking. I don't remember talking to them because we meet so many people but they were very attractive agreed agreed yeah so we're so it's fun to put but basically i was just saying like it's fun to put a face with a name right and we said they were accused we're one for one in guessing people's attractiveness based on their tuesday talk questions yeah yeah uh okay very common thing to happen in the lifestyle this question right great question actually right so what they're wondering is you know they're down in the meet and greet area and this has happened to us even at the club and you have a couple or two that you're vibing with you guys plan a little hey let's go back to the room and have an orgy but somehow on the way back to the room you've picked up extras yeah right so i have a few questions in this this is i think one of the challenges well i think we should like just do scenarios because we're we obviously are not going to get an answer so we're just going to have to assume we don't know and like what what if these different scenarios happen right so that's the best way to do it right so scenario one is these three couples are on their way back to the room
Speaker2:
and they pick up a random couple stops them. We've even had random couples when our doors open just come walking in.
Speaker1:
Well, as we're walking, yeah, we've never spoke with them. We've never seen them. And it's kind of as everybody's walking in, they attempt to come in with us as well. And that's a super easy one. So this couple, that's the addition that you've picked up yeah nobody knows this no nobody um and this is kind of you have to be quick in a lot of these scenarios i think you have to like kind of pull the group but in this case i think you almost can't pause and ask everyone because then it makes it awkward i think that's a very quickly no this is a private situation but thank you hope you have a great night and then you just shut the door we've actually had that happen to us like at secrets yeah recently as we were going in to fuck and another couple like i guess thought that we were doing that and just was going to come with us yeah nobody even knew who they were yeah nobody knew and i don't think i mean they were kind of an attractive couple i don't remember it. And I think, honestly, it's not even what they look like. That's just rude. You know, like, to me, you don't, I don't know. I don't want to be, I don't know. I just don't want to hang out with people that's just going to barge themselves in. Because if they barge in your room, how many rooms have they barged in that night? I mean, not that it really matters because it doesn't. But I don know to me it's just a little tacky and i think because like if you pause and be like what do y'all think and then it's just well then how do you say no then right if they just follow you in and then you you pull the room real quick and you're like hey who in here is okay with having an orgy with this couple that just walked in that none of us know if one person says no then it becomes super awkward for everybody yeah yeah i agree i think that just has to be like a very quick decision and and probably whoever the last one in like whoever's closing the door has to be the one just like now i always say we've had plenty of orgies slash where we've gone back to our room and played it's not very often where somebody tries to like follow you into your room no but it can happen especially i have seen people that will go back to the room and like leave the door open yeah and then people come in and i guess by leaving the door open you're kind of asking for yeah yeah um because in the general world the door is open you're looking for people to join yeah the time that it happened to us like we were literally like single file going into the room and this couple just kind of hopped on the train and tried to get in. Yeah. Okay, so in that situation, you just say, hey guys, no thank you, we're trying to, this is a private play session. Yeah, we planned this, yeah. And we've done that like in playrooms too. That's a pretty easy one because you don't because you don't know the person you might not ever see them again so i mean i don't think you you need to be nice and kind you shouldn't be ugly but i think you can very nicely say no thank you yeah all right scenario two is you think you've set up an orgy right so you think you've told couple a and couple b hey the three of us couples are gonna go back to my room well you know and and have fun and then maybe one of them have invited an extra yeah um i think you have to roll with it at that point um yeah i what do you think yeah i think i agree well one you either have to like once you get
Speaker2:
maybe if because typically when you get back to the room it's not like straight to fucking everybody kind of hangs out there's some awkward talking maybe if you've detected that that's one of your friend's friends maybe you can talk to the friend that you did invite and say hey did you guys invite them like what we didn't know they were coming like what's you know kind of
Speaker1:
that's so awkward though it's hard to do in a room like in a hotel room especially could you Thank you. and say hey did you guys invite them like what we didn't know they were coming like what's you know kind of that's so awkward though it's hard to do in a room like in a hotel room especially could you be imagine if somebody invited like us and we went with another like thinking like oh yeah that's awesome thank you for inviting us then we go in somebody's like no we don't want you here yeah i honestly would cry i'm not gonna lie i would um so for me i think you just roll with it if it's not someone and it's funny because we just did a podcast on orgies with naughty gym naughty gym and i think this is a good lesson with that um you don't have to fuck everyone in the room you know a hundred percent like you can say no thank you to that person if they're not somebody that you're interested in i have no issues with somebody playing on the bed or the bed next to me that I don't want to fuck. And I am perfectly comfortable with saying no thank you if that's not something that I'm interested in. But I do realize that that doesn't come natural to a lot of people. It didn't come natural to me. I had to kind of learn that skill and practice that skill. And sometimes it sucks doing it, but can do it it's not in the world i think to me saying no thank you in the heat of a moment to someone is a lot kinder than me and like i'm sorry but we don't want you in here like to me that's just me though i mean no it's a hard nut to crack and this to be honest this is something that we struggle with on a routine basis. We do. Is trying to arrange play sessions with the people we want to play with and without the people we don't want to play with. Because the more people you add, the more then that becomes an X factor. So maybe there's one or two couples we don't want to play with, but then that other couple probably has one or two couples they want to play with. work super hard to like make sure everyone matches up and i guess that's like again going back to like orgies and group play it's okay like and that's something we've kind of found that you just kind of have to navigate that and i think i mean again we still struggle with it i'm not perfect there's people that i don't want to fuck that i care about that are my friends that i don't want to hurt and so i have to like try to figure ways to for them to be in the play space with me without me being hurtful to them but we'd somehow navigate it i guess right uh okay so what would be another scenario where an extra person has showed up can you like maybe invited them, but like, especially on a dance floor,
Speaker3:
if you're like, hey,
Speaker1:
we're going back to room 210, like 15 minutes,
Speaker3:
go shower,
Speaker1:
go grab your bags, we'll meet you back. And maybe there's a couple that was like kind of in the area that thought it was like an open situation. In that case, I guess that could be one, like maybe you didn't specifically say,
Speaker3:
hey,
Speaker1:
will you come? And they just were under the impression that they were invited which can very easily happen on a dance floor when it's loud and you're like hollering and you're trying to like get people to come yeah no and i think in that situation it can be handled the same way where you say hey sorry if there was a confusion but this was just something that three of us um had arranged and like we'll catch you next time yeah and really that should be like something maybe like pull people to the side or whisper um yeah i think that's probably the best i was trying to think of this doesn't really have to do with this question but like what if there's three sets of friends there three couples and you only want two to go back but they're all your friends and you all care about and that kind of falls in the line of this but a little different but i guess i was thinking that which does it it's not really their question but kind of a question adjacent yeah and okay so ways we've done it in the past so that you know to avoid this this couple sounds like this is something that's happened to them multiple times now um what would be your recommendation to them so that this doesn't happen in the future or a way to set up a play session without it happening? Usually you are like the planner in our friend group, or at least in you and I. So you, I think the best way is for like you or whoever that is in your pool, like, like the husband away, like, hey, come here come here and like you tell them like just you in and you need to be if you don't want anyone else to go I think you need to say hey um me and y'all and this other couple want to go back or just the two couples want to go back what are you thinking are you okay just this and just make it clear what y'all are looking for and if if and if you're off to the side in private, I think that comes across a lot better and you don't have to worry about anyone ever hearing it.
Speaker2:
Yeah. So that's the ideal situation. So the way I handle most play sessions, especially if we're not going, you know, most of the time we just go to the playroom and whoever comes, comes and we just fuck people we want to and don't fuck people we don't want to. That's probably our eight out of 10, seven out of 10 times what we do.
Speaker3:
I don't fuck people we don't want to that's probably our eight out of ten seven out
Speaker2:
of ten times what we do um the other times if we are trying to set up a specific play session with specific couples like lacy said i will go to probably the couple we we plan on playing with that night the most or like you know like like hey i know we want to play with couple a so i'll
Speaker1:
go to them and say hey we're really into you guys we'd like to like to do something and maybe if i'm thinking you know if we're thinking about adding another couple or two i'd say hey we'd like to play with you but we're also thinking about inviting couple a and couple b but they don't have to you know what do you guys think and they'd be like oh no yeah we love couple a but uh maybe we're not really comfortable with couple b like okay so you know midnight our room room 226 we'll invite them and then you guys will meet us there okay cool so then we go to couple b and say hey are you cool with coming back to the room with us and the other couple yes no yes okay at midnight meet us at our room yeah and then we just don't say shit else then you 20, 30 minutes before midnight, we all kind of just break off and then end up back out. Yeah, and it's really good, like, if you go to your room, like, if you're at a hotel takeover, or even if you're at a club, you can go to your locker, wherever your stuff is, and kind of, like, break off, and then meet back. Yeah, and so a lot of couples will say, hey, I'm going to go get a drink, we're going to the bathroom, We're going to go change, you know, to get away from the big group. That's kind of what. Yeah. I just think overall theme is, well, one, we need to be honest with other people. And sometimes that's hard. Sometimes. You can say we're going to go fuck. Yeah. We'll see you guys later and kind of make it known that we're not all going to fuck. We are going to go fuck. Yeah. We'll see you guys later. We'll be back in a little bit. I think bit i think honesty is always the best policy i think um treating other people's the way you want to be treated nobody wants to get left out nobody wants to be the only couple that's left sitting on the dance floor and everybody else goes and fuck so i think like just remembering all those things when you are you know communicating with a couple that maybe you're not interested in playing with i just think that's important to point out i i agree 100 and i really think maybe that's part of the reason we have kind of migrated to this going to the playroom with a big group thing because that is the easiest way everybody can be included nobody feels left out but then you can still negotiate or navigate the people you do and don't want to play with and it's kind of every couple that decides to come with us to that group it's on them individually to navigate that yeah like we don't have to do it for them we're not we can barely navigate our own sex life let alone trying to navigate someone else but we have had other couples put us in an awkward situation of not including a couple that we normally would be okay with but they don't want to be okay with it but somehow we get stuck being the ones to tell them you know i'm saying like we're basically telling a couple they can't come come and play with us it's very awkward and i don't like that i don't like being put in that position right so we tend to we're trying to try to keep it we shouldn't invite everybody right and fuck who we want to fuck you know that that works best for us but if you are looking for a private session with just a limited amount of couples i think pulling them aside and kind of hey at this time we're going to meet here and just preset it that way that's the easiest way to do it yeah um but it's not always it's not always going to happen too sometimes you do um do have to say, hey, guys, we set this up.
Speaker2:
We know just the three of us. Sorry, we'll catch you next time. But that can be hard to do.
Speaker3:
Yeah.
Speaker1:
And just to add, the good thing is we have really good, solid friends in the lifestyle. And they're usually happy for us. Like, if we come to them like, oh, my gosh, this couple wants to fuck tonight. And they want to invite this other couple. We're all three couples going to go fuck so cool and they're like yeah that's so cool tell us how it is i think if you surround your people with yourself with people like that i think it makes for an even better experience right no i agree yeah and that can be hard to find too i mean you want to be in a friend group that wants you to enjoy your lifestyle lifestyle journey and kind of celebrate it with you and doesn't necessarily have those jealousy tendencies. But it happens. Happens to all of us. Yep. Yeah. All right. Anything else you would like to say? That's it. All right. If you have a Tuesday Talk question and you would like to call in and leave it for us, you can call us at phone number 972-302-7716 one more time 972-302-7716 okay and if you don't feel comfortable sharing your voice publicly you can always send us an email at the swing nation at gmail.com the swing nation at gmail.com you can also message us on any of our social media all however a lot of that ends up going to spam folders and it can be hard to find so best way is email or call in i guess you could text it into that number as well we'd get it that way that way too but we look forward to listening to your questions we actually could use some more questions yeah we've kind of gotten lighter we had a big group come in all at the same time and then we haven't
Speaker2:
had we've had kind of just onesie tuesdays trickle in so we could definitely use some more so definitely don't be shy call us we want to answer your questions yep all right i think with that in a world full of apples be the pineapple be the pineapple guys bye Bye. If you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us, leave a five-star review wherever you're listening. If you want to see more of our content, you can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Swinger content creators on our Swinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at theswingnation at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to theswingnation.net and keep up to date on all things Swing Nation. We thank you so much for joining us and we'll see you next time.
