Send us Fan MailTuesday Talks: Playing Only with Vested Couples—Too Critical? | Episode 24Welcome to another Tuesday Talks segment of The Swing Nation Podcast, the top-rated lifestyle podcast about non-monogamy and swinging! In this episode, hosts Dan and Lacy dive into a thought-provoking listener question from BeautyNBeast, who shares a personal rule about only playing with couples that are truly vested in each other.BeautyNBeast wonders if this boundary is too harsh and if they’re being overly critical, potentially missing out on exciting experiences. Tune in as they discuss the importance of understanding your own comfort zones, how to assess the dynamics between potential play partners, and whether it s worth reconsidering rules to avoid limiting your experiences.If you’ve ever questioned your own boundaries or wondered how to handle complex dynamics in the swinging community, this episode is for you! Hit play and join the conversation.- The Swing Nation - Main Website Quick Navigation Website: -- (Find all our social media links more!) Follow us on Facebook! The Podcast Website- Swinger Society - Our Website to meet, connect events Swinger Society Discord Our Facebook Group- Swinger Websites -Kasadie 90 day free trialUsername: TheSwingNation SDC 14 day free trial Username: TheSwingNation** Use code 36313 for 14 days free! ** SLSUsername: NorthernGuynSouthernGirl- Merch More -Order Your Merch Here!- Lacy’s Fun Links - VIP OnlyFans PREMIUM OnlyFans-- THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS --Wisp : Making sexual healthcare inclusive, cost-effective, and accessible—for everyoneUse Code SWING at checkout for 15% off your oder!Shameless Care: ED Medication and at home STD testingUse Code TSN at checkout for $30 off your order!Promescent® Make Love Longer, It’s Time for Great SexUse Code SwingNation for 5% off!Pinaq Liqueur; The Official Drink of The Swing NationUse Code TSN at checkout for 15% off!Support the show- Thank you for the support! -
Transcript
Speaker1: This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. Welcome to the Swing Nation podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe, interview the experts, learn and grow together join the nation so lacy people are asking how do they get to go to a party or an event with us they check out swingers society.net you create profile, you sign up for an event, and you come hang out with us. Super easy. That's right. If you want to party with us and the other faces and names that you know from social media and TikTok, head on over to swingersociety.net. Can't wait to see Speaker2: you there. Sexual health care can be so much more than STI testing. WISP offers services like emergency contraception, help in delaying your period, UTI treatments, and so much more. They Speaker1: See you next time. care can be so much more than STI testing. WISP offers services like emergency contraception, help in delaying your period, UTI treatments, and so much more. They even have a product called the OMG Cream that helps provide more fulfilling orgasms for women. WISP provides same-day prescriptions and can give you discreet treatment in the comfort and privacy of your own home. Check out the link in our show notes or go to HelloWISiz.com and use code SWING for 15% off. Most people have unprotected oral sex, right? Be honest. Now think about your last STD test. Did your doctor tickle your throat with something that looked like a giant Q-tip? Probably not. Yet that's the only way to check for oral gonorrhea or chlamydia, which are often asymptomatic. You need a better doctor. You need shamelesscare.com. Use coupon code TSN at checkout. Hey there, pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. We are are your hosts northern guy and southern girl and today we have another rendition of tuesday talks we do talking tuesday yeah talking tuesday with dan and lacey uh if we sound a little bit different it's because we are in a new studio we are and we're not quite done with it we kind of working through the kinks. It's got high ceilings and concrete floors, and so it's a little echoey in here. It's a little echoey, and we've got to probably get a little more sound absorption or action going on in here. But it does look nice. It does, and I think it's going to sound better than maybe we think it does. But just bear with us. It'll take us a couple weeks to work at at all the keys. Yes. Okay. A little more housekeeping. We promised you we were going to find you a phone number that you could call if you wanted to sing a Tuesday Talk jingle. And then when we were thinking about this, you could actually call in and ask your Tuesday Talk question. Yeah. And then what we could do is we could just play the recording. Yeah. If you want to do that. So people to hear the question so um grab your pen and paper or your note section of your phone and here is the number it's 972-302-7716 one more time 972-302-7716 yeah so just call in And you can ask us any tuesday talk question uh which i think that'll be kind of fun and exciting to to play those yeah uh or you can uh sing us a tuesday talk jingle and we'll cut that cut that in for people yeah it could be fun i'm excited we haven't done any like listener call in yeah it'll be fine inserting other audio into our podcast so into our podcast. So that could be cool. I can't wait to listen to it. Yeah. All right. So this episode, we have a question for you. And this is actually from a couple that's friends with us. They actually asked me. He was like, hey, I had a Tuesday talk question for you. And I'm like, would you please email that to me or text it to me or DM it to me? Because I promise you it's a great question and I want to talk about it, but I will forget if you don't do that. So he actually emailed it to us. So Dan's going to read it today because if you can't hear, I'm a little under the weather. So thanks, babe. That's sexy, sick voice. Yeah. A little raspy. Yeah. Okay. So this is from Beauty and the Beast. And if you remember, we hung out with them at the last Hedo trip and uh the last secrets yeah the last secrets yeah yeah uh and so here's the question we had a unicorn that we had matched and chatted with on sdc she messaged us asking if we wanted to hang out in an upcoming weekend which we were interested in but then she asked if it would be okay for her to bring her male play partner we replied that we don't typically play with couples that aren't invested in each other and she seemed to understand and take it well i felt kind of guilty for this rule and wondered if we were being too harsh we have had issues in the past with new couples not having the best communication amongst themselves once we even figured out that a couple we went on a date with and couple in quotations wasn't actually even a couple they were just using each other to find play partners i know our rules should be whatever we are comfortable with but are we being too critical in missing out on some potential fun yeah and then it says hope you all are well can't wait to see you can't wait either. Agreed. So what do you think about the perspective of playing with, it's not really singles, but couples, coupled partners that are unmarried? I don't think there's anything wrong with couples that choose to not get married. I think a lot of people just don't believe in marriage or just want to date or just be engaged.
Speaker2:
And I think that's perfectly fine. Where I have an issue is the couples that kind of partner up to find people. I think that's okay if you're honest and upfront about that in the beginning. And so that couple that you're chatting with can make that decision for them.
Speaker1:
And if that's not something they're interested in, then they can kind of cut ties pretty early on um but if if if they don't mind then it's a go yeah i will say so i don't know if we've talked about i think we've talked about this before but you know we met as singles yeah and we actually joined the lifestyle together and when we decided to join the lifestyle together we were un Correct. So the first, I don't know, dozen or so times, maybe more than that. For the first year, year and a half of us being in the lifestyle, we were a unmarried couple playing together. Now, I think we were a committed couple, though. We weren't just going together. And that's different. I think, like, surely they're okay with committed couples because like we've we have several friends of ours that in my mind they might as well be married but they're just not yeah it is interesting actually and i can think of there's a few couples we've met and played with and maybe didn't even realize they weren't married until later later on i remember like buffy and duane they've been on we've talked about them a ton of times on the. I didn't even know they weren't married until they announced their engagement. I was like, wait, I thought you were married. They just kind of present themselves as a married couple. Right. But I guess, is that deceptive? Is that okay? I'm okay with it. I did not feel deceived by them at all. I didn't mind it because they're very much committed to much committed to each other they live together they like they share their lives together and to me that that's fine yeah now i will say you do see couples some events are couples only yeah um secrets now just implemented a rule that you have to to to rent a room for one of the takeover events it's a dual occupancy yeah meaning that two people have to be on the reservation yeah um i think you know bliss cruise is couples only yeah so these types of events you'll see all the time where people will kind of go in together to go to an event yeah and they they're probably at least fuck buddies most of the time maybe not but most of the time they're they're you know friends know, friends with benefits kind of situation. But they're sleeping in the same bed probably, so. Yeah. But not always. Yeah. And so you encounter these people in the lifestyle. I think as long as you're open and honest, I don't see an issue. For me, I would just make, like if I was Beauty and the Beast, and that's kind of how they typically play, and they've ran into this a few times. If it was me and we met a couple and they told us this about them, I would at that point decide if that was something that I would be willing to move forward with or not. But if someone messaged you like that, like let's say you've been chatting with this couple and they message you like the night or day you're supposed to meet. And they're like, oh, by the way, we're not really a couple. We just kind of hang out and fuck and meet couples. Like, to me, that's a red flag. And I would have said no, too. I think that was the right thing to do. Well, we've played with couples that aren't committed to each other. But do they tell us, like, the day? No. They tell us ahead of time. Yeah. And I'm thinking most of the people I the people i think of are content creators not really yeah so it's a little bit different than just being a swinger i think if you're honest like if you match with a couple and you start chatting and you're talking about your place house and stuff i think at that point that's when you say something like hey we are not in a relationship together we're just like two singles that week we. We go to parties together. We occasionally play with couples together. Just want to let you know up front and be honest. I think if they do that, there's nothing wrong with it. And then you can make that decision for yourself. But if they message you the morning of and you're supposed to meet that night and they're like, oh, by the way, to me, I would have said no thank you at that point. So I have two points here i think i'd like to make i think one you are right if if if you are presenting if you are attending a couple's only event or if you are in a place where it seems like you should be a couple yeah where it's assumed i think yeah right right like a bliss cruise if you're somewhere like that and you're not a committed couple you're friends with benefit i think you should communicate that to your potential play partners i do agree with that but i'm going to say something that's a little controversial i'm okay with playing with couples that aren't committed to each other me too and i think if what it comes down to is i trust our relationship right correct i i wouldn't like somebody to like
Speaker2:
be deceptive and like tell me last minute or not tell me at all like i think that they should be upfront and honest and then you and i as the committed couple we have a conversation like like damn they're so hot and they're having they're have like we have a good vibe i'm okay with it are you okay with it yeah so i just think that we should be able to make that decision well if I'm really thinking about it and I think of the,
Speaker3:
the,
Speaker4:
the,
Speaker3:
the,
Speaker1:
the, and they're having there have like we have a good vibe i'm okay with it are you okay with it yeah so i just think that we should be able to make that decision well if i'm really thinking about it and i think of the you know the people over the years that have crossed our rules or our boundaries yeah they're usually not the single people yeah i mean they're usually so what i'm i guess my point is is that if you were a swinger and you're engaging with other people, regardless of their relationship status, the way you ensure that you are okay is that you and your partner have to be on the same page. You and your partner have to commit, you know, be committed to if somebody oversteps or says something or does something inappropriate, you share that with each other. And if you have that, the relationship status of the person you're playing with doesn't really matter. And I would argue, I don't think the relationship status of the people you're playing with matters as far as how much of a risk you're at for them overstepping or not following a rule or a boundary. A hundred percent agree. So my honest opinion is it doesn't matter. A hundred percent percent agree i just would like for them to be open and honest from the beginning part of what he said in that question and maybe this maybe we kind of missed this question all together because maybe this is what he's really was referring to is he said they've had issues with couples that are newer to the lifestyle not communicating their rules and boundaries or not but that's not really related to how committed they are to each other. That's just how much experience they have in their lifestyle. And we do know several swingers that won't play with couples that are inexperienced because they are afraid of drama, right? They're afraid of this couple doesn't know what they're okay with and not okay with it. And we don't want to be the couple to hit one of their triggers and have to go through that emotional event me and you i think actually like playing with new couples but i think we're very very good and careful about making sure everybody's on the same page making sure things are communicated making sure everybody knows what's going to happen before it happens and yeah i get a lot of i enjoy that new couple energy and i do too but
Speaker2:
that's like more of like a long game that's not like you meet somebody and then have sex three hours after you meet him. True. Yeah.
Speaker1:
Yeah.
Speaker2:
Yeah.
Speaker1:
Yeah. i get a lot of i enjoy that new couple energy and i do too but that's like more of like a long game that's not like you meet somebody and then have sex three hours after you meet them most of the couples that are new that we encounter we like get to know them over months years sometimes you know we we do a lot of like soft swapping and stuff like that even before we get to like actual intercourse actual sex so it's like a long game it's not like we meet you at a party you're brand new we go fuck and then we move on like that's not what we do i agree so you have like there's a lot of education there's a lot of build-up like a lot of overly communicating to get to that stage i agree i agree with that 100%, yeah. So your what's your final take on it um i think ultimately if i was if i was going to take this question and wrap it up in a bow um do what you're comfortable with like to what he said right so if you're not comfortable playing with couples that aren't married or couples that aren't used to playing together or couples that are new to the lifestyle and maybe don't know the rules and boundaries. I think a hundred percent that is acceptable for you to set as a rule. Say, we don't, you know, unless you're a committed married couple or unless you're a couple that's, you know, been dating long-term and, and, you know, you know, not a friends with benefits type situation. Um, we don't want to play with you. I think it's okay for you to set those rules and boundaries. I think it's okay for you to say, okay, if you're new to the lifestyle and haven't had a full swap yet you know we're happy you're here but that's not the kind of couples we want i think you know whatever your rules and boundaries are i think that's okay but if you're asking dan's personal opinion i think if you and your partner are on the same page yeah and you communicate about everything that's really what matters yeah And I really don't think from the experience that we've had that people's relationship status directly affects if they're going to try to make a move or step outside of your rules and boundaries or do something outside of what you would be comfortable with.
Speaker3:
I agree.
Speaker1:
So if it doesn't matter, then why are you setting that as a rule? And too, I think, and he was worried about being too harsh or being too critical. And I said this to somebody at Hedo, and that's funny because they were there. At the end of the day, it's about you and your spouse. You are, this is fun for you. It's about growing together, about having experiences together. We want to be respectful of other people that we encounter. But at the end of the day, if you and your spouse are comfortable with your decision, then you just have to do what's right for you. That's really what matters in all of this. It's always you and your partner first. As long as you treat people with respect and you're not rude or mean or anything like that, I think it's sometimes okay to be harsh harsh i think sometimes it's okay to be that way uh what about the question of are we missing potential play possibly yeah we have hooked up with people that were just dating they are broke up now and they were a shit show and we had fucking fun yeah you know well that's that's my point right we do go in the end that that's what it was and we were okay we were just there for a good time not for a long time you know we got in we had fun and then we got out you know and that was okay we yeah that was my point it's like we've met couples that are just dating we're like you know of course we say this out loud but we're like i don't know if long term this is going to them. But again, me and you were on the same page. They were both hot as fuck. Some of the hottest people we've ever slept with. And they were clearly going to be a good time. And they were. And they broke up. So we exactly what we thought would happen. But we had fun and they had fun and it was a cool experience. And she's came back wanting more. So we something right yeah 100 so i think i think that's what again as long as me and you are on the same page as long as me and you know that we're going to protect our relationship and put our relationship first i don't think outside agents are really going to make a difference as far as what they try to do if you're doing it right all right so i think that wraps it up again if you have a tuesday talk question you can now call us yes give that number one more time one more time or you can email us at the swing nation at gmail you can message us on tiktok and instagram and facebook and all those places sometimes if we're not mutual friends those go to spam folders so they can be difficult but if you email us at the swing nation at gmail.com we'll definitely get that or now you can call 972-302-7716 and leave us a voicemail and uh if you want we'll play that audio yeah so we can have some some listener that'd be fun on the podcast change it up a little that's right all right anything else you got for the swing nation that's it all right i think with that in a world full of apples be the pineapple be the pineapple guys bye bye if you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us leave a five-star review wherever you're listening if you want to see more of our content you can find links to snapchat twitter instagram only fans and more in the show notes come join the conversation with us and other swinger content creators on our swinger society discord server if you have questions or feedback email them to us at theswingnation at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to theswingnation.net and keep up to date on all things Swing Nation. We thank you so much for joining us and we'll see you next time. Goodbye.
