Tuesday Talks: Nude Pics, Respect, and Group Chat Protocol

Transcript

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Speaker1: Swing Nation got you feeling sexy hey there pineapple people and welcome to the swing nation podcast we are your hosts northern guy and southern girl and today we are back with another rendition of tuesday talks what that was mine you had to do the other part oh you gotta let me come in you can't you took my i took your thunder no now i'm knowing how to say it oh you'll be okay hey go go you got it how about that high note i feel like did i ruin it my thunder i'm sorry i stole my thunder thunder stolen he serenaded me last night i have it on video god i do yeah what were you singing i don't remember it was funny. We had our, we have like one of those karaoke type machine things with a microphone. We had it set up because we did my dad's celebration life and he was cleaning up and he was singing into the microphone. So I grabbed it on video. It's quite entertaining. It is. All right. Tuesday Talks. So today's question was texted? I always get confused on that. Was text. Yeah. Into us. Yes. All right. So you're going to read it for us? Yeah. It's kind of long, so. Stick with her. Yeah. Hi, Dan and Lacey. My husband is straight and I'm vicarious. We are a stag vixen, full swap couple who have been part of the lifestyle for about eight months still learning but really enjoying their journey one of our key boundaries is transparent communication and for us that means all chats with other couples happen in a group setting we typically use telegram or sls to get to know people see if there's chemistry and make sure everyone is on the same page now in group chats it's common for women to share 30 photos thirst traps if you will i usually don't even though i'm very confident in my body i prefer to save those photos for my profile or in-person moments but i totally understand that others enjoy sharing more in real time in part it's part of the fun for them and no judgment here at all. That said, we had an experience recently where we were texting and a couple after a dinner meetup. The wife sent a sexy bikini pic and bent over, come fuck me pose. She looked great by the way. And my husband responded with a simple wow, which felt perfectly appropriate. Her husband then chimed in and he and my husband ended up going back and forth about how hot she looked. Full transparency I did feel a little left out but thirst traps aren't my style. What threw me off a little bit was that later her husband sent me a private message saying my pictures didn't do me justice and that I was even more beautiful in person. While I appreciated the compliment, I reminded him that we only communicate in group chats, and if he put that in the group chat, I would have responded to it, but he didn't, which left both my husband and me wondering. Was he hesitant to say it publicly? Was he trying to avoid triggering jealousy? So here's my genuine question for your tuesday talks when does reaction to thirst traps cross the line from friendly potential disrespectful to your own partner or the group dynamic is it about frequency tone i'm not even sure there's a clear line but i'd love your take thanks for creating such a thoughtful and open space in the community we really enjoy your insight insight and appreciate your perspective. And they sent a little kissy face and their username is HW... I don't... Never mind. I'm not going to say that. HW. Okay. We're just going to call him HW. We're going to call him HW, which I think is Hot Wife, isn't it? But they said they were stag vixens, so maybe not. This is actually a really good question. and it's kind of loaded there's a lot of there's a lot of she gave a lot of context yeah a lot of background which i appreciate yeah because if she just came out with just the question we maybe we'd have more question but now that she's kind of laid out of the scenario i feel like i can understand a little bit what exactly she's talking about well and it's kind of a two-part question so one is talking about sharing like thirst trap type of pictures in like a group setting and then on the other she's also talking about uh like the husband messager on the side which kind of threw them off a little yeah so first of all hw you are not alone in being triggered or feeling jealous or feeling she says she doesn't feel insecure but we've been parts of many group chats large group chats large with 10 couples in there us and just another couple um we have several friends that we talk to on a regular basis and this whole people sending sexy pictures other people's husbands or even sometimes other people's wives commenting on those pictures and then that sparking some kind of jealousy or insecurity or feeling of being left out that is an everyday normal experience in the lifestyle yeah and for us personally that is something that we've dealt with i would say not so much really anymore because we don't really chat with a lot of... Most of the couples that we chat with, we have like a real established relationship. So to me, a lot of that isn't happening. That we know of. Well, on our end. Right. Yeah, on our our end that's the only thing we can speak on um but definitely the first few years of us in the lifestyle and us kind of doing this i know for a fact that i definitely struggled with this i can think of multiple occasions um where i struggle with it i do think um i know people don't like when we talk about being content creators but i do think becoming a content creator and sharing so many pictures on a public platform We'll be right back. I do think, I know people don't like when we talk about being content creators, but I do think becoming a content creator and sharing so many pictures on a public platform has kind of gotten to where I don't send a lot of pictures in private group messages at all. Because if they want to see pictures of you, there's just like a million. Go scroll my Twitter, there's a million, right? Yeah, and I just don't really take a lot of candid but it's funny that we talk about this because i took one when we were at splash when daphne and mike were on our their way to come to the hotel kind of a sexy picture yeah and you saved that picture and then you posted it on our instagram if you go and look it's me in that little cherry outfit i took that just randomly what i actually said to you you need to take more of these you did because i do think one for just our us and our friends is good but then also two for only fans you know i think when you are taking like professional photos and you're clearly posing i think those candid shots sometimes guys think those are sexier yeah no i agree so i don't mean to go down on tangent but that we've kind of we understand um when it comes to that and i've gotten to where i don't send a lot i don't know i'm off on a tangent no no i think what i think you're saying the point you were getting to is i'm with her i don't send a lot of pictures but I'm also okay with girls that do especially couples that maybe the the female is not a content creator she doesn't have an Instagram or Twitter or whatever she's got all these pictures all these people telling her how beautiful she is in my opinion drop all the sexy pictures in our group chat I want to see you I want to think you you are beautiful i think that that should be encouraged and i think that's kind of what she's saying here too right but no i think yeah and your point i think of going down the content route is you know you don't necessarily crave for words of affirmation because you get it overwhelmingly get it almost every day yes yes so there's no real you're almost like burnt out on that yeah right so but like you're saying a lot of other women enjoy that like thoroughly enjoy sharing pictures and having people tell them how beautiful they are and how hot they are and so i think group chats are the perfect place for that yeah absolutely and i agree i'd like i'm full support of that but i've also been jealous of of the way you comment on other girls not so much that the girls are dropping the pictures and stuff like that kind of how she did she felt left out there's been times like i'm at the grocery store and i'm pushing i've been out running errands all day long i'm pushing the grocery cart and all of a sudden dan must be bored because he's sending everybody and their brother pictures and comments or even you it could be a dick pic you don't send a lot of dick pics but occasionally you will or you'll like start and so like i'm out running errands i'm exhausted i'm pushing the grocery cart and all of sudden, my phone's like, ding. And I've been known to, like, get frustrated with you. Like, nobody would know. But I'm, like, texting you on the side. Like, can you chill the fuck out? I'm at the grocery store. My phone is blowing up because you are messaging every girl that we know. So, I've gotten a little frustrated with that. That's more so, like, just the group and not so much the pitchers, I think. Right. So to pause for a second. I know. I'm going down. No, no. It's okay. Would you say, is there a general rule, right? So if you're in a chat with another couple or you're in maybe even one of these larger group chats, is there a general rule like try to keep it to one to three pitchers a day? Try to keep it to one don't think we should be over i don't think we should be over analyzing that it's it's sex guys it's friends it's sex parties it's nobody should be like okay i've only sent one picture today let me send you more i don't think we should overthink it okay and then the flip side of that is okay for me so if these girls are sending these groups these pictures should i not respond should i only be like oh that's great should i one or two comments back like is there like at what point is it too much like an asshole now no no no this is no i mean i think this is what she's asking and i and i'll get to what what my answer, but I'm curious what you think your answer is. I think you should just answer how you feel. Because truthfully, it's my attitude for the day, depending on if that affects me or not. Truthfully, we could be hot in bed, and we're about to fuck, and somebody sent a text, and you're like, that's so fucking hot. I'm like, yeah, that's so fucking hot and then i could like hop on you and ride you and we come and it's great in that case say all the fucking dirty things you want to say to her but like if i'm in the uh the car rider line and i've been gone all day and it's been raining and i'm soaking wet and there's like i've got to cook dinner when i get home and do laundry and i got to do all this other stuff and you're at home sitting on the couch and you're like come get on this big dick that i'm gonna be pissed off well and that's that's so it's really it's not really no and so this is my point right yeah i don't think there is a right or wrong answer to how many pictures to send into how to respond to those pictures i don't think us as lifestyle educators could send