Send us Fan MailTuesday Talks: Is Gender-Based Pricing Outdated in the Lifestyle? | Episode 55In this episode of The Swing Nation Podcast, the top-rated podcast about non-monogamy and swinging, Dan and Lacy return for another Tuesday Talks segment to answer a thoughtful listener question that touches on inclusivity in the lifestyle space.Nicole calls in and shares her experience as a non-binary individual transitioning to present femme, and asks a meaningful question: How do lifestyle clubs typically handle gender-based pricing for people who don’t identify as cisgender?Dan and Lacy discuss the realities of how pricing structures vary across the lifestyle community and share how they’ve chosen to implement gender-neutral pricing at their own events to help ensure everyone feels welcome. They also talk about the conversations happening behind the scenes with event hosts and club owners who are beginning to explore more inclusive approaches.This episode offers an honest look at where things stand and where they’re headed—perfect for anyone interested in a more thoughtful and welcoming lifestyle experience.- The Swing Nation - Main Website Quick Navigation Website: -- (Find all our social media links more!)- Swinger Society - Our Website to meet, connect events Swinger Society Discord Our Facebook Group- Swinger Websites -Kasadie 90 day free trialUsername: TheSwingNation SDC 14 day free trial Username: TheSwingNation** Use code 36313 for 14 days free! ** SLSUsername: NorthernGuynSouthernGirl- Merch More -Order Your Merch Here!- Lacy’s Fun Links -VIP OnlyFansPREMIUM OnlyFans-- THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS --Wisp : Making sexual healthcare inclusive, cost-effective, and accessible—for everyoneUse Code SWING at checkout for 15% off your oder!Shameless Care: ED Medication and at home STD testingUse Code TSN at checkout for $30 off your order!Promescent® Make Love Longer, It’s Time for Great SexUse Code SwingNation for 5% off!Sing it Bikinis: adjustable one-size styles, thoughtfully crafted to flatter every body type.Support the show- Thank you for the support! -
Transcript
Speaker1: This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. Speaker2: Welcome to the Swing Nation Podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers. We'll be right back. Welcome to the Swing Nation podcast, a podcast by swingers, for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe, Speaker1: interview the activists, learn and grow together. Join the nation. So Lacey, people are asking, how do they get to go to a party or an event with us? They check out swingersociety.net. You create a you sign up for an event and you come hang out with Speaker2: us super easy that's right if you want to party with us and the other faces and names that you know from social media and tiktok head on over to swingersociety.net can't wait to see you there Speaker1: We'll see you changed it this week of tuesday talks yeah people love that we just got home from the bliss cruise and like so many people stop us and that's what they talk about is the tuesday talks and jingle. Yeah. They said we need to bring it back. Okay. They're like, they miss it. They missed, you know, the different jingles and stuff. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Send them in. You were anti. I'm not anti. I'm anti like every day spending 10 minutes at the start of a 20 minute episode begging people for their video, musical okay jingles but now like if they feel free like if you want to do that in sitting i have no issues with you changing it out from the ones we had i just didn't want to keep yeah you know who actually i talked to over the weekend was uh the chicago dj yeah guy uh who sent us the deep dish pizza pizza and he said he wants to produce something. He mentioned that at Secrets. I would love that. Speaker2: And he said we might need to do some audio snippets for him. That'd be fun. He's like a professional. So I bet he could come up with some cool stuff. Speaker1: Are you geeking out? Speaker2: It'd be fun. Anyway, welcome to Tuesday Talks. So this, we have a question. Speaker3: We do. Speaker2: And this was actually texted into us. Speaker3: Texted.
Speaker2:
Texted it did? Is that how you say it?
Speaker3:
I don't know.
Speaker2:
It was text into us?
Speaker3:
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker2:
Not texted.
Speaker1:
Someone texted.
Speaker2:
Somebody texted us this question.
Speaker3:
Gosh.
Speaker1:
You're Invisalign.
Speaker2:
English teachers don't come for me.
Speaker1:
Yeah, that and you're Invisalign.
Speaker2:
Yeah, the two combined.
Speaker3:
Yeah, okay. So, read the question. Okay. Hi, Dan Lacey. My name is Nicole, she, they, and I love listening to y'all's podcasts. As a non-binary trans femme person, identifying as neither male or female, but transitioning to present as feminine, I want to say that y'all's open minds and commitment to inclusivity,
Speaker2:
that's what I get for making fun of you,
Speaker3:
makes the lifestyle safer and more welcoming for queer folk like me.
Speaker1:
And I'm so very grateful for that. I also hope to hear from more non-cis guests like Allie in the future. My question for Talking Tuesday is this. How are male and female determined in the lifestyle for things like playroom and event attendance and event pricing? It is determined by looks. If it's determined by looks, I can't imagine both trans and cis people being wrongly charged or denied entry if they don't meet someone's internal definition of that gender. And if it's done by legal ID, sometimes states are actively denying trans people the ability to update those documents not to mention people like me who truly don't fall under either gender umbrella y'all keep up the proud whores both keep being proud yeah keep y'all keep being proud whores both you both for yourselves and because i eat those stories up especially when lacy gets her freak on much love and appreciation to both of you. Right. So this is a complicated question. I was a little nervous to answer it. I just don't... Right. So full disclosure, we got this question and I was like, you know what? This is something we should talk about. And Lacey's like, I don't know if I want to talk about it. Not because we don't think the subject is important. It it's very important but i think whenever you dive into things that can be a little politically charged yeah there's always the fear that you're going to misspeak and like people are going to come for you yeah i'm not very educated on a lot of this and so that's that's of my own fault i should i should do a better job i know as a community we're trying to do a better job so i probably need to like make the initiative and kind of put myself out there and do better i just didn't want to offend anyone i didn't want to step on anyone's toes i just want everyone happy and loving and fucking and doing all the things all the freaky shit that you want to do and i don't and by no want to upset anyone. Yeah. And I'm glad you said that. I think that's the position we come from. Yeah. Right. So in this podcast, we're going to avoid any political talk as much as we can. And generally speaking, I'm, I think we're both pretty politically neutral. Yeah. Yeah. For the most part. So our politics, I don't think really come into play here uh but i think this is important and i think you know we've we've talked about um diversity and we've talked about inclusion and we've talked about that the lifestyle is a safe place for anybody yeah right we don't care if you're um straight bi queer binary non-binary trans truly the lifestyle community is a safe place for people to explore their sexuality regardless of what that sexuality looks like regardless of how they present themselves as far as their or if they even don't know like right she said you know she said she wasn't really sure where she falls on that yeah um but i think it is important if especially if You are somebody that feels like you fall into this you know into a category that might not be you know cisgendered if you're thinking about attending a lifestyle event or party or going on a cruise or something like that you know this is probably something that you're concerned about it's like hey how am i going to be treated you know what what price do i even pay uh so i think it is a good question um so because of all these questions we've actually had this discussion we have several times um amongst our staff amongst each other and shout out to our staff because they're some of them are the ones that really spearheaded this um i think they were coming more from a single male perspective but it really encompassed all of this and and that's why we have our staff to kind of help us because we don't know everything and we're just kind of figuring it out so they know who they are so appreciate y'all who have kind of put this but this has been in place for years this is not anything new for us right uh we have gender gender neutral pricing would you say it all pretty not all of them because some places we can't control isn't that correct right so if we can control the pricing which is actually the majority of our events um we will do gender neutral and and i will say i give a lot of credit to a lot of the clubs because if you don't know right so me and lacy do the podcast but we also run swinger society which is an event group where we do takeovers of different clubs across the country and resorts like secrets um so when we approach a club to do a takeover for the most part we fall follow that club's rules right so whatever their rules are for pricing we follow along with that their rules for pretty much everything you know like their playroom rules whatever they're doing their dress code we just kind of come in and and throw our party there but we follow all of them now sometimes they'll cut us a little bit of slack yes yeah what i will say is thus far every club has agreed to allow us to sell our tickets at gender-neutral pricing, which means a single female ticket and a single male ticket are the exact same price. So in this case, if you were a non-binary person, all the pricing is the same, right? So it really doesn't matter what gender you are, how you identify, you pay one flat fee. And I like that because it solves a lot of problems, right? It's one, it solves this if you're a non-binary person problem. It doesn't matter what it says on your ID. It doesn't matter how you present yourself. You're paying the same price walking in the door as everybody else's. Another problem it solves is that gets confused a lot is there are polyamorous people, right? That come in a poly poly quad so there's three people or sometimes there's four people um well a lot of events and clubs charge more for single males than they do for couples and females substantially like right sometimes it can be three or four times as much as a single female or even a couple price um so what this allows is if you are a polyamorous person and you have um your third person happens to be male well he's going to sit essentially say pay the same price as the other two people in that couple because a single ticket costs half as much as a couple ticket yeah so i think that's just a good practice in general and we've had actually had long conversations with club owners about that um we've had some club owners that maybe didn't necessarily agree with it going into it. But then after having conversations with them, they said, you know what, I see your point. And at the very least, the tickets that they sell at their club at the door might be what they normally are. But when we sell our tickets online to our members, they let us sell the tickets at that gender neutral pricing. think of that as almost like advocacy work because yes we're not out screaming and holding banners and you know yelling as loud as we can but in ways we're teaching these clubs that so let's be honest a lot of people that own these clubs typically are older generations than we are they probably own the clubs for you know half of their life and they've just they do it the way that things have always been done because they don't know any different. And now we have all these new generations coming up and things are changing and just the world is changing. And I think you, because you primarily deal with the clubs, I'll be honest, I sit out, but you going and talking to them and sharing your story and why we do it the way that we do, in lot of ways is teaching them about how things can be different but that's okay and hopefully like if it if our event goes well and the pricing system works well maybe down the road they may implement that at their club so i think in a lot of ways it's like kind of us working behind the scenes yeah i agree i think you know and we've had this discussions with other influencers and other people it's really easy to stand on the outside if you don't own a club if you're not hosting events if you're not you know if it's not your money that's on the line when it comes to these events and say oh you should do this you should do that right but at truthfully at the end of the day there's reasons why these club owners are doing the things they do and especially you know some of these club owners have been doing this for 20 30 40 years to your point um and you know a lot of them when you say why is the single male ticket you know four times as much as a single female ticket they're going to tell you well we've had issues with single males causing problems and you know being riff raff or something like that and so we have found if we charge a higher price it brings in a better quality of male that's more respectful and treats our guests better you that's hard to say like well you shouldn't do that then right you know you can maybe disagree with some principles of that but overall it makes sense right so when we come in we say we just limit the amount of single of single males right so we don't um but we charge them the same price and really we've had zero issues with single males at our events um so i think it is a different way of doing it and it's something that we've tried to show uh clubs and at the really at the end of the day if you think about it you know if there's 150 couples in a club we generally limit the single male pricing to 10 and actually we limit the single female pricing to the same way where we only allow 10 of singles to come in so you're only talking about like 15 people yeah so if you you know if you're charging maybe half of what you normally would have overall for the entire night you're talking talking about a few hundred bucks. Yeah. I mean, is it really, is it worth to me being fair is worth more than a couple hundred bucks. Yeah. I mean, like doing the right principles is worth more than a few hundred dollars in ticket sales for me personally. But again, there's, there's several reasons why these club owners are doing it the way they're doing it. um so we're a big fan of gender neutral pricing and i and i you know as long as i can control the pricing going forward that's what it will it will be um but to answer her question it wasn't necessarily how dan and lacey are doing it at swinger side she was asking how clubs across the country are doing it i would say they primarily are probably not doing it the way that we're doing it. But I so if you want, my advice would be I would go to their website, see if it can give you any information. It probably won't because most swing your websites are old and crappy. Let's just be real. So you might have to get in touch with them. You might to call you you might have to email which sucks i don't think you should have to do that i don't but unfortunately i think that's kind of where we are now you might have to call or email i i would guess and i don't know this but i i would assume that some of them are going to default to the id because most of these clubs when you you check in, they check your ID and, you know, they would probably base their pricing off of what your ID says.
Speaker2:
And I realize there are states that are changing the laws on on what gender people put on their IDs. And so that could that could affect people, which, again, is why I would advocate for gender neutral pricing.
Speaker1:
Yeah. But I will say if this makes hopefully this makes her feel better.
Speaker2:
I feel like we are seeing more people that identify the way that she does and it's becoming a lot more common uh i definitely i i think there you're not alone i guess is the best way i can describe that and i don't know if finding a reddit group finding a kick do people even use kick telegram many people that use kick anymore telegram there's all kinds of group discord i mean i think you're gonna have to find your people probably and um you're probably gonna have to come together and maybe somebody has had a good experience at one club and that'll kind of give you a little insight to maybe where to go but well and i also say it sucks but that's just unfortunately where we are i would say this overall the lifestyle community is a very open and accepting community right so maybe if you go to your local club and just become a member and pay whatever fee they want you to pay and then talk to yeah the leadership right maybe you know once you figure out manager is, say, hey, I'd like to have a conversation with you about your pricing. You know, I'm a non-binary person and this is, you know, your pricing concerns me because of A, B, and C. Like, advocate for yourself and advocate for your community. For sure. And I, you know, you'll be surprised how much that could change. Because here's the thing, you know, you know, I'm not trying not to be political, but I think it's easy when you don't know people to say, oh, that, you know, those people, you should do the A, B and C, right? But when you actually meet somebody that's in that situation and you get to know them as a human being, it's hard to treat them differently, right? It's hard to not respect their feelings and their emotions when you get to know somebody as an actual person it's easy to look at groups that you have no interaction with and and try to and cast feelings on them and i think our community that happens right people hear the word swinger and they assume we're full of stds and we're just these sexual degenerates and pedophiles i I mean, they assume all kinds of crazy things about us. Yeah. But the funny thing is me and Lacey meet vanilla people every day in our community. And we're very, very public. And there's several people that have been like, you guys just seem so normal. You know what I mean? Like we are. Or they look at us and they're like, I just love your relationship. You know what I mean? And so I think that's the answer, right? is to engage with people and show them who you are and dispel their misunderstandings of you and that's how you change things you can yell you can scream you can do internet posts you can you know you can burn people's stuff like that's not going to change anybody's minds i think let's not burn anything Well, you know what I'm saying. You can be an advocate and cause chaos.
Speaker1:
I think. Let's not burn anything. Well, you know what I'm saying. You can be an advocate and cause chaos. I think getting to know people and showing them who you are as an authentic person helps change minds more so than maybe some of the other stuff. Agreed. Especially more than internet posts. For sure. Those are the worst. Yeah, for sure. Those change nobody's mind. Yeah, for sure. And that's like the benefit that we have is when you get to sit down and you're having a one-on-one conversation with the owner and you get to explain this is what we do this is why we do it that goes so much further than some of the other things so 100 i agree so i hope that helps answer her question yeah um and other than that every club you know pricing is done by club and they're all going to do it differently and so there is no universal answer to your question there's not even a universal price for a traditional couple some clubs are very expensive some are cheaper it just because this is like an underground kind of world it it just you just don't know what you're going to get. So I would say try to do your research. Maybe go in like right when they open or maybe like at adult. Not when everybody's in line waiting to get in. Go and talk to them. Great idea. So I hope that helps. And at the very least, I hope to see you maybe come to one of our events because you know how our pricing's done yeah well actually uh next week we'll be at tempted in louisville kentucky and the theme is what dan seductive circus yeah so it's gonna be it's gonna be a fun night or fun two nights i'm actually really looking forward to this event i feel like secrets is always crazy because it just is and then we were on the crease which we weren't really we were with daphne and mike but outside of that we really weren't with like our people people so i'm very much looking forward to tempted coming up i'm hoping all my surprises get here in time yes i got a few we're gonna turn it up a notch we already got stuff enough to turn it up a notch we're trying to turn it up like two or three notches. Dan's been shopping. When I buy things, it's like a shirt. Dan buys like thousands of dollars worth of stuff. It's an investment in the company. Okay. Yeah. So anyway, we're going to be at Tempted next weekend. So we hope that's the 15th and the 16th. We hope if you're in the area, 16th and 17th, if you are not a Tempted member, you cannot buy tickets at the door. So if you're thinking about going. Go sign up now. Go sign up now. At least get your membership in. Yeah. Once your membership's approved. If you get a membership and get it approved before, you can buy tickets at the door. If you don't have an approved membership, you can get tickets at the door. Yeah. All right. So we hope to see you at Club Tempted or any of our events. We're going to be traveling all over the country. Go to swingerside.net. Check out where we're going to be next. And we hope to see you at one of our parties in the future. Can I say one more thing? Sure. Splash's day passes have went on sale. So I know a lot of people, this is kind of our neck of the woods. lot of people don't necessarily stay at the hotel they always wait till the day passes become available they are available if you go to springer society.net you can use our link and go and go and purchase
Speaker2:
them okay the splash atlanta yes which is coming up in a couple weeks too absolutely yeah okay all right i think with that in a world full of apples be the pineapple be the pineapple guys bye if you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us leave a five-star review wherever you're listening if you want to see more of our content you can find links to snapchat twitter instagram only fans and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Swinger content creators on our Swinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at theswingnation at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to theswingnation.net and keep up to date on all things Swing Nation. We thank you so much for joining us and we'll see you next time. Goodbye.
