Send us Fan MailTuesday Talks: I Want to F* Your Wife | Episode 58In this episode of The Swing Nation Podcast, the top-rated podcast about non-monogamy and swinging, Dan and Lacy dive into another listener question on their “Tuesday Talks” segment.This week, Bunny writes in with a spicy etiquette question: Is it ever okay to say “I want to fuck your wife” or “I want to fuck your husband” when expressing interest in the lifestyle? While it might seem direct (and hot), Bunny shares that she s received mixed reactions—some enthusiastic, others not so much.Dan and Lacy explore how context and setting play a major role in how bold statements like these are received. From playful party banter to more intimate, respectful conversations, the right moment and vibe can make all the difference. They share real-life examples and offer advice on reading the room, matching energy, and making sure everyone feels comfortable and respected.Whether you re bold, curious, or just trying to avoid missteps, this episode is packed with real talk and helpful advice on how to shoot your shot without blowing it. Don’t miss this candid discussion on desire and etiquette in the swinging world!- The Swing Nation - Main Website Quick Navigation Website: -- (Find all our social media links more!)- Swinger Society - Our Website to meet, connect events Swinger Society Discord Our Facebook Group- Swinger Websites -Kasadie 90 day free trialUsername: TheSwingNation SDC 14 day free trial Username: TheSwingNation** Use code 36313 for 14 days free! ** SLSUsername: NorthernGuynSouthernGirl- Merch More -Order Your Merch Here!- Lacy’s Fun Links -VIP OnlyFansPREMIUM OnlyFans-- THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS --Wisp : Making sexual healthcare inclusive, cost-effective, and accessible—for everyoneUse Code SWING at checkout for 15% off your oder!Shameless Care: ED Medication and at home STD testingUse Code TSN at checkout for $30 off your order!Promescent® Make Love Longer, It’s Time for Great SexUse Code SwingNation for 5% off!Sing it Bikinis: adjustable one-size styles, thoughtfully crafted to flatter every body type.Support the show- Thank you for the support! -
Transcript
Speaker1: This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. Speaker2: Welcome to the Swing Nation Podcast, a podcast by swingers and for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe. Interview the activists, learn and grow together. Speaker1: Join the activists. Learn and grow together. Join the nation. So Lacey, people are asking, how do they get to go to a party or an event with us? They check out swingersociety.net, you create a you sign up for an event and you come hang out with us Speaker2: super easy that's right if you want to party with us and the other faces and names that you know from social media and tiktok head on over to swingersociety.net can't wait to see you there Tuesday Talks Just send your questions to Dan and Lake said Tuesday Talks Swing Nation got you feeling sexy Tuesday Talks Talking Tuesday with Dan and Lacey Ooh, how about that high note? That was perfect. Hey there, Pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. We are your hosts, Northern Guy. And Southern Girl. And we are back with another rendition of Tuesday Talks. We are. Talking Tuesday. Yeah. With Dan and Lacey! That's great, babe. You're not going to sing it for me? No, not today. I love you, though. Great job. All right. Do you know the question for today? Sort of. I already kind of forgot. Speaker1: Oh, yeah. I kind of remember. Speaker3: Yeah. All right. Speaker2: Well, let's go to the phone line. Speaker1: I didn't hear her question. You just kind of told me. Speaker2: Let's go to the phone line and hear this week's question. Speaker1: Hi, Dan and Lacey. This is Bunny, and I just really enjoy your guys' show. I listen to it all the time. So I want to say thank you and give you a shout out first thing. But I have a Tuesday talk question. And my Tuesday talk question is, what is the etiquette with regard to saying, I know you're probably going to bleep this out, but I want to fuck your wife or I want to fuck your husband. I have had people who are totally chill, don't care at all. And some people get very incensed and offended at it. So I really am curious as to what your take is on it. Anyway, I appreciate you guys. Have a great day. And if you use my question, I'll love it. And I will listen to it. Talk to you later. Bye. Okay. Well, does she mean like somebody, because you explained it to me, like somebody just walks up to you and say i want to fuck your husband i didn't get that impression from the question well we don't know right this is the problem with tuesday talk questions is often i want to ask counter questions and we clearly don't have the ability so i think for me personally there is two answers those are two different answers so but however you're saying if it's somebody you know or somebody you don't have the ability. Well, I think for me personally, there is two answers. Those are two different answers. But however you want it. You're saying if it's somebody you know or somebody you don't know. No, I'm saying if somebody just, if I'm standing there and somebody walks up and says, hey, I want to fuck your husband versus somebody that we've gotten to know all night and we're in a playroom and we're about to get started and they ask me, hey, can I fuck your husband? That is two different things, personally. Well, since we don't know, let's maybe answer them both.
Speaker2:
So let's go with what I guess I would assume is worst case scenario is you do not know this person. And this has actually happened to us, right?
Speaker3:
Yeah.
Speaker2:
You're out on the dance floor. Me and you are dancing. Some random stranger walks up and they're like, I want to fuck your husband.
Speaker3:
Yeah.
Speaker1:
It usually works that way. It's very rarely a man says. It's usually I want to fuck your wife. Or it's usually a couple that says we want to fuck your husband yeah it usually works that way it's very rarely a man it's usually i want to fuck your wife or it's usually a couple that says we want to fuck you yeah but i can't remember anybody that comes up to you and says i want to fuck lacy like i don't feel like that happens it's definitely happened i feel like women are pretty straightforward to be like i want to fuck that's an interesting or i'm over 60 let's go fuck i know you want to fuck we get that a lot i just don't see a lot of men coming up and be like hey man i want to fuck her i just don't it's interesting you bring that up because i do think in this lifestyle men often get a bad rap but i think because of that men are actually much more conscious about i think it's how they approach people and how they talk to people and it is often when you see somebody that's very aggressive we have seen several very aggressive females and i think it's because they don't get reprimanded as much yeah like yeah like when they do it that it probably is more successful from them and people aren't as offended by it correct okay so my answer is i think if you do not know each other i think that's offensive now am i going to look at you and be like oh my god that's offensive why would you say that and make a big deal out of it no i wouldn't do that but i don't like unless you're just like the most gorgeous couple in the world and we lock eyes and it was just like meant to be and we just have this sexual attraction we're not gonna say yes to that and we're just not i mean i i cannot think of an instance where we meet somebody lock eyes you want to fuck yeah let's go and then we it just happens can you i can't think of an instance yeah when that has happened probably the closest i can think of is vegas when we kind of followed that couple into the playroom and yeah but they didn't lock eyes with us and be like it wasn't like hey let's fuck it was like hey that's the only couple here we're attracted to so let's go see what they're doing that was kind of the situation but no i can't think of any time someone says i want to fuck you just out in the open that we just met and it's been successful for us now i do know we know people who do that that do that and it they are very successful at it and i don't know well you know i just thought something thought about something we just we went to a house party and someone looked at me and said are you dtf yeah yeah and i said no you didn't know you were like confused by the question well because i know what dtf means i'm not a i just didn't expect it was a female that said it and i did not expect that to come out of her mouth like it just it kind of threw me i was like what no yes maybe like it kind of threw me for we we we went and fucked like five minutes later so it worked that we knew though it worked yeah but we did kind of know them so i don't know i feel like i'm kind of rambling i'll let you jump in here no i think it could go either way i think with us what you're saying is correct that 90 percent of the time if you were just to walk up to us especially in not in a playroom right i think that's kind of a key to this scenario if you were to walk up to us not in a playroom and say do you want to fuck which has happened to us several times we're usually going to say like ha ha like maybe let's get to know each other yeah it's gonna yeah like let's hang out right and it does make you take a step back because you just don't you don't know how to answer it right and i don't know but i don't think neither one of us is the kind of person that would just be like no we don't want to fuck you yeah so we're gonna be like oh like maybe let's get to know each other you know we're gonna kind of do something like that yeah or yeah you know if we're in a playroom later come come find us you know like or something like that where um but i know that we have friends like and i don't know how they do it but i know that that's what they're doing yeah like i can think of them they like run into somebody in the hallway and they chat for five minutes and next thing you know they're they're in their room fucking so that has to that has to be what's happening right so i do think for people i think that works i i just don't know how what that looks like i'm assuming it's just like hey i think if you come across like not threatening like hey y'all are cute we're cute we like y'all we're vibing y'all want to go to our room and have drinks like i think if you do it like that i can totally see and essentially that's the same thing as saying can i fuck you it's kind of saying the same thing without saying the words in my head you need to dance a little bit you need to you know rub on each other a little bit you need to maybe make out on the dance floor before you necessarily say hey do you want to go get drinks or you want to come back to our room or you want to go fuck yeah i think there needs to be a little bit of foreplay for us you're right there are other people that probably can walk up cold turkey and say it and and it'll work and i'm not saying never say never because i say that and we'll go to splash next week and the first person somebody walk up and we'll be like hell yeah and we'll do it because i don't know there is a chance that you could catch us in just the right mood yes yeah i mean if we're just like yolo let's do this let's have fun sure i mean now would you get now her second part of that is she's had experiences where people just are very offended by that are you would you feel offended maybe inside maybe a little but i wouldn't say that to them. would let them walk off and be like okay that's a little forward to you but i would never like be i would never be shameful of someone and be like why do you would you say that that is i'm just i'm not a super confrontational person so i just wouldn't do that yeah now i will say if if a couple we have seen that there are couples that play this number numbers game right so they'll go to a club and they'll basically just bounce around and they will say do you want to fuck and sure enough they will find somebody that night that want and they'll end up in a playroom and they'll end up fucking so i'm not judging that but me personally when i see that it always gives me an ick feeling yeah because i can remember one of the first few times we saw that happening and then i see them walking into a playroom with somebody else and i was like damn i thought i was special you know i thought they like really like me and the truth is they just were trying to fuck they were just trying to fuck that night and again like you said i don't really judge that if that's your thing go for it i mean because people that don't swing are probably looking at us like what in the hell are these people doing so um but yeah i don't
Speaker2:
i don't know it doesn't right i don't like it right i don't like it either and i think it's because it seems when you see couples do that where they just bounce around from couple to couple to couple and just do you want to fuck it really just seems like they're just trying to get it in and that they like you said you were kind of like oh i thought i was special like i like I'll see you next time. where they just bounce around from couple to couple to couple and just do you want to fuck it really just seems like they're just trying to get it in and that they like you said you were kind of like oh i thought i was special like i like some level of connection some level of attraction somebody to be like into me i want people to like look through the room be like i want to fuck her i want to hang out with her i want to get to know her i think she's special i don't want to just be like a notch in somebody's bedpost basically and that's kind of the feeling you get when you see those couples it's like they're just trying to fuck anybody they're just trying to get their dick wet or you know they're trying to get fucked so can we talk a little bit about like what i said if because we weren't sure her context of her question i really enjoy like if you've gotten to know a couple and then you're in the playroom and right before um it's time to actually have sex like the the opposite spouse asking for permission to have sex one i think it's hot i think it's sexy i think it's consent which is like awesome even if you've already gotten consent it's like another layer of consent i think it's like a good way to check in with the spouse so like if i'm about to fuck some guy looking at his wife and being like you're okay with this like you're good with me fucking him you know it's kind of like giving her or him whoever he's asking it one last chance to be like i'm not comfortable here um so i personally find that extremely hot now i don't know that that's what she's talking about here but i just don't want to not address that if that's what she meant no i agree i think it's very very good etiquette that in a playroom even if if we're in a playroom and i'm i fuck you and then me and you stop and some girl comes up to me and says will you fuck me or can you can you know can we fuck you know and i'll look at you and say are you okay with that and you know you if you say yes then i like to try to find her husband and say give him an opportunity are you okay with that and sometimes he might even say yes but you can you just tell by the vibe that it's not a confident yes that maybe he looks uncomfortable or he looks okay. And that gives everybody kind of a chance to back away without causing problems. Yes. Because, you know, maybe some people get wrapped up in the scenario and they just kind of go and they don't stop and pause and think. And that's when you see drama happen. So I think that is completely hot, acceptable, okay, and encouraged to ask to fuck people in playrooms before you do it. will even say even if in a playroom setting if you do not know somebody right it's a complete stranger but you're in a playroom and you happen to end up on an orgy bed beside each other i think that's more acceptable to be like hey is it okay if i suck your dick hey is it okay if i fuck you we've had that happen several times um you've even pimped me out to random people in playrooms before and in that environment that go with the flow kind of thing seems much more acceptable and for i don't know why but you know we were before we were saying when you see a couple that's just bouncing around the bar trying to fuck everybody that seems gross but when you're in a playroom and there's a hot and there's a couple beside you and they're fucking and you're fucking and then she asked to suck your dick or or a guy asked to fuck you it seems like it's more okay it it does and i don't know why it's essentially the same thing because i don't know but it does you're right i don't know i think in a playroom why i think it's more okay is you're all you're in a sexy situation yeah and so you know it just seems more natural yeah not as thirsty yeah now i will say we have seen couples that just sit in playrooms and wait for parties to get started and try to jump in on them and when you see that that is a little like if you walk into an orgy room and there's just a couple sitting there and as soon as you get in the bed they jump in the bed yeah that's kind of a red flag right or there's an entire bed and they come sit right next to you you know yeah where they're just sitting in there waiting you know like a predator you know like a like a piranha you know like a like an owl or something just waiting for a rabbit to run across the field like i don't i don't know but you know i'm saying like it just feels kind of like yeah now just if it just so happens they were in there fucking already you come in and start fucking and they're like oh you're hot yeah can i suck your dick that seems much more natural flow than something that they intentionally scripted correct um so i hope that answers her question do you think you think we answered it can you think about any other situations? I mean, we've had it, you know, even in like in pools at Secrets and stuff, we've had, you know, girls come up and say, is it okay if I suck your dick? And to me, that seems okay. You know what I mean? Like, especially if you're sitting there sucking my dick or somebody, one of our other friends is doing it. I think it all depends on context. Where it gets me is if we're fully dressed, we standing there we're not like in like any kind of environment where like sex is about to be had or like oral sex any like if we're just fully dressed and somebody comes up and says hey you want to fuck i just it just doesn't feel right i don't know but like any anything other than that i feel like it's a little bit more acceptable but just when you're fully dressed standing there it just seems odd right like can't you just take a minute or two to get to know me first like flirt with me a little bit give me a little something yeah yeah but i also feel like this whole thing this whole conversation i feel like we are completely contradicting ourselves so i I don't know. The answer is I don't know.
Speaker1:
I personally don't get super offended by a lot of things in the lifestyle.
Speaker3:
I don't really take a whole lot of it serious.
Speaker1:
I mean, there are things that are serious, like consent and stuff. But as far as somebody getting highly offended by that and saying something, I don't know. I've never seen that happen.
Speaker2:
I think if it's me to wrap up the answer that she's asking. No, no, but i think it's to me it comes down to this if it feels forced in a natural i don't like it yeah if it seems natural and it seems to go with the flow and go with the vibe or whatever you would say then i'm okay with it yeah so if if i feel like you're forcing something to happen that didn't happen naturally i don't like it yeah and i'll give like one example just to like wrap it up i can remember years ago we were at paradise valley and we were on the dance floor we walk in we order a drink and we're standing there holding our drinks and this couple comes up to us and literally they're like hey how are y'all we're like we're good you know first time you're just like typical lifestyle stuff and then he the husband goes do y'all want to go to the playroom and fuck and we were like we haven't even taken two sips of our drink we were like no we just yeah we're like we just got here we'd like to have a drink maybe dance a little first you know it just and i don't know they might have been there for a while not realized we just walked in the door it just didn't feel genuine right yeah and that couple 10 minutes later they were in the playroom with a different so then you're like oh i see what happened here yeah yeah so to me that was you're playing the numbers you're trying to force something you're trying you know you're trying to manufacture something didn't seem natural yeah i agree all right i think that wraps up this question i hope that helps answer your question i think there's really the answer is depends on the context yeah um if you have a tuesday talk question we would love to hear from you there's a few different ways you can get that question to us you can email it to us at the swing nation at gmail.com the swing nation at gmail.com or you can call and leave a voicemail we appreciate that we like hearing your voice um bunny sounded pretty sexy she did there's a lot of sexy girls that seem to call into this i don't know even at least their voice yeah the guy maybe the guy from like sound like you should be on the radio yeah so that phone number is 972-302-7716 one more time 972-302-7716. One more time. 972-302-7716. And again, if you don't feel comfortable leaving your voice, you can also text that phone number. So just text your question and we'll get it that way. All right. So we hope to hear from you. We could use some more questions. We will be at Splash Atlanta. We will. You're going to hear on tuesday and we're leaving on wednesday yeah and so splash atlanta is in atlanta georgia and the party is thursday through sunday yeah um so i think there's still maybe a couple of rooms a few a handful of rooms left but definitely there's still day passes so if you're in the atlanta georgia area and you'd like to come out and party with us and all the folks from splash and we're gonna have actually a pretty decent swinger society crew yeah uh for this one and we'll have our merch there we'll have our merch tent so if you want to get some some merch um go check that out and you can find tickets for that at swinger society dot net swinger society dot net all right guys hope to see you there and i think with that in a world full of apples be the pineapple be the pineapple guys bye bye if you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us leave a five-star review wherever you're listening if you want to see more of our content you can find links to snap Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Swinger content creators on our Swinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at theswingnation at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to theswingnation.net and keep up to date on all things Swing Nation. We thank you so much for joining us and we'll see you next time. Goodbye.
