Tuesday Talks: Guiding Newbies Into the Swinger Lifestyle

Transcript

Speaker1: This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. Welcome to the Swing Nation Podcast, a podcast by swingers, for swingers, We'll see you next time. welcome to the swing nation podcast a podcast by swingers for swingers where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe interview the experts learn and grow together. Join the nation. So, Lacey, people are asking, how do they get to go to a party or an event with us? They check out swingersociety.net. You create a profile, you sign up for an event, and you come hang out with us. Super easy. That's right. 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Use coupon code TSN at checkout. Hey there, pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. We are are your hosts northern guy and southern girl and today we're back with another rendition of our tuesday talks we are talking tuesday with dan and lacy oh how about that high note it was perfect hope you didn't have it there up loud in their car or headphones. That one's like in tune. Yeah. Let me hear it. No. So funny story, a side note. When Dan and I first started dating, he used to always joke that he tried out for American Idol. And they offered him to go. But he turned it down so he could fight for a country. That was always his joke. That's not a joke. That they were like you're gonna be the next star and i was like i'm sorry i have to go fight for freedom you wish i don't why do you say that's not true i mean you're just not hear my voice like i think it's pretty obvious babe i'm not a good singer either we're like that's kind of our thing we're just yeah we'll just sing together you do not want to be sitting in the backseat of our car on a road trip listening to us sing disney songs not that we do that no never do that weirdos all right are you ready to take it to the phone lines and see what today's question is all right let's go to the phone hey dan and lacy uh this is chris and alexia um a little side note before i get to the question uh we happen to live in the same area as you guys and we came across your profile on 3f and it literally made our day i was just oh my god babe across the house i found dan and lacy on 3f she't believe me and i had to show her anyway to get to the question uh we find ourselves in this predicament now where we're a couple years in um but not super experienced so we keep running across brand new couples mainly because of our age being a bit younger and i know y'all are experienced with this and kind of navigating how to introduce this couple and also keep them comfortable like what are some tips you would have as far as getting to know and and navigating uh a new couple thanks all right that's chris and alexa well first of all may or may not live close to us yeah no he sounded hard too yeah so 3f if people don't know is three fun yeah and we do we are on that app i cannot honestly tell you the last time i checked it though yeah um and the reason i don't check it often is because we don't live in a major metropolitan city so it seems like three fun is better used if like you live in a big city like atlanta or you know any major metropolitan or if that's where you're gonna play like if you're going there for a weekend or something like that and that's kind of why we have it is if we were to go i would probably you know we'd do the whole we'll see who's on three yeah uh but i don't know the last place like the last location i set our three fun to so he may or may not i have no idea if we live close to him or not but it is a good app it is very tinder like if you are into that which honestly like that's kind of how like we wish all of the apps would be a lot of them tend to be old-fashioned so we do love that about three fun um and we are a partner of them so shameless plug for our three fun partnership you can go to the swing nation.info to sign up for three fun and everything else so if we got a bunch of free trial links for a bunch of different lifestyle applications there so if you are looking um to meet some people in your local area go try out some of those apps see which one works best for you okay so his question though was it seems like they they are a younger couple been in the lifestyle for a couple years and they keep meeting these i assume younger couples that don't have much experience so he's kind of wondering like how do you deal with these newbie couples like what's the best way to handle this we get he mentioned we get a lot of new people too as well and i think people are gravitating towards us because they feel like we know what we're doing even though we honestly we're still figuring it out as well um i think that's a good sign if new people are gravitating towards you i was at a we were somewhere i can't remember and we had a friend that was flirting with Dan and one of our other friends said, Dan is safe. And that makes her feel comfortable. And, you know, I really thought that was a compliment. So kudos to this couple, because you probably are making people feel safe as well, which is what we all like strive to be, I think, you know, in a way. And that's a good point. I do think that is a good point because i think when you're entering the lifestyle one of the things you're worried about is like is this man or is this couple going to try to poke toward my wife are you like the creepy guy are you just are you and your wife not happy and you're just looking for somebody else to jump ship like that that's what everybody's concerned are or concerns are so when you are a couple that displays that you have a solid foundation, you love each other, you're not going to push anybody too far, too fast. Um, they feel comfortable with you. Uh, I think that's what draws that. That's the energy that newer couples are drawn to. And I do think you're right that if, if newer couples are being drawn to them, that's a good sign that they have a good thing going in their relationship. Yeah. Now I will say some couples do not like to play with newer couples um they feel like it's too much work they don't i've heard people make the comment they'll let people go like a swing with a few more people and then come back to us because they don't want to be like your trial and error you know like go make sure fair, right? Yeah. Where we've been like, man, they are hot and we'd love to fuck them, but they need to figure their shit out. Yeah, yeah. And sometimes. You're right. We've said that. We love new couples. Yeah, we do. We love new couple energy. And we love kind of guiding people through the lifestyle. We love being people's first experiences. Like, I think me and you thoroughly enjoy that. But there has been times where we've come across couples and you can just clearly see they're not there's just something there they're not on the same page that looks like it's going to be an issue and a problem and i and we don't want to be the ones caught in the middle of your correct so go figure it yeah figure your shit out and then come back and talk to us yeah so i get that yeah because we have done that and said we have um now i do think so if you are a couple like us or a couple like chris you need to kind of keep an eye out for that right so if you see a new couple and you can just kind of tell like they don't seem like they're on the same page and it just might be an intuition yeah it might not even be that they did anything it could just be like an intuition so yeah definitely keep an eye out for that. Now, what the heck do you do with them is kind of his question. Honestly, it's not, we don't really have like a list of things that we do. Um, I would say we overly communicate. Um, we overly give them outs or opportunities to, you know, go away. Like we, we made, what was it? we did a podcast last week or a week before where we talked about like being like going to a swingers club for the first time and you made the comment like you meet a couple and you're like we're going into the playroom if you'd like to join us you're welcome to we're gonna go right get ready to get our stuff yeah head back there Stuff like that i think is definitely like just overly communicating is probably like top we also try to treat and we do this with every couple we try to treat people how we would want to be treated especially when you're entering the lifestyle because if you're if you're an asshole to them or give them a bad experience you could honestly ruin the lifestyle the lifestyle for them their journey yeah so i think you have to treat them how you would have wished someone had treated you when you first entered the lifestyle you know with like kind of kitten gloves i guess you know you just want to be kind you want to be sweet you just i don't know yeah i've so you you do see those couples like you know here's the truth a new couple comes into a club or into a an event every people the regulars there can see it a mile away right they know they're new especially like you know if you go to like a club there's regulars that go there almost every weekend so a new couple comes in people in that club know that you are new to this environment like they'll swarm them you know like fresh meat almost which is ridiculous you know so i just think you have to be like mindful of that um but if they're gravitating towards you that's a good sign right yeah no i do think you go at their pace basically for sure how we treat new couples is hey we're dan and lacy we think you're hot we'd like to do all things with you, but tell us what you're into. And it's okay. If you don't want to swap, it's okay. If you just want to hang out, if you just want to make out, if you just want to fuck in the bed next to us, if you just want to be in the room while we fuck. Like, you just let them decide their pace. You know, you can give them words of encouragement and be like, oh, I think this would be really hot if that's what you guys would like to do but you know no pressure because sometimes they need a little encouragement but i think there's a fine line between encouragement and then pressuring people to yeah move at a pace that they're not comfortable yeah so really that's the when when managing a new couple that's the like the sweet spot right you have to find a way to kind of like encourage them to step outside their shell and try new things but not pressure them to do that and that's hard like i even struggle with that with you you know i mean yeah you do and i tend to always overthink the situation i think dan is a little bit more because in life dan is dan's the guy who gets butt ass naked and pops a viagra in front of the new couple you know i'm the person that's like we can talk about our feelings first it's gonna be okay so i i think just balancing each other out you know kind of okay to be fair when i popped that viagra she was already stroking my dick on the dance floor i thought i had all the green lights okay yeah i know it's fine it's fine um it ended up being okay it ended up being okay um i don't know other than that i mean that's really all i have that i can think of do you have no i think it's you know when we give advice to new couples we always say you have to play down to the partner that is the least least comfortable right that wants to go the slowest you cannot force somebody to do into doing things that they don't want to do that is a recipe for disaster i think this is the same thing right if you have a new couple and you're vibing with them and you're connecting with them you have to go at their pace now i think you could encourage them and you can make suggestions and you could say oh you know do you guys want to do this do you guys want to do that but you really let have to let them kind of be the deciding factor. Yeah, you can't like, I can never say this word right, coerce someone, you know, that that is a huge no-no in the lifestyle. So you have to, you know, be respectful of that and mindful of that and make sure that you don't go down that path.