Tuesday Talks – Finding Pegging Partners in the Lifestyle

Transcript

Speaker1: This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. Welcome to the Swing Nation Podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe interview the activists learn and grow together. Join the nation. So Lacey, people are asking, how do they get to go to a party or an event with us? They check out swingersociety.net, you create a profile, you sign up for an event, and you come hang out with us. Super easy. That's right. If you want to party with us and the other faces and names that you know from social media and TikTok, head on over to swing another rendition of Tuesday Talks.
Speaker2: We are.
Speaker1: Talking Tuesday. With Dan and Lizzie.
Speaker3: Talking Tuesday with Dan and Lizzie.
Speaker1: I'm kind of sad we stopped doing the... No, it's time. I'm kind of sad we stopped doing that.
Speaker2: Okay.
Speaker1: Are you ready for this week's question?
Speaker2: I am.
Speaker1: You had a little teaser of what it is.
Speaker2: I did.
Speaker1: I got to hear it beforehand.
Speaker2: All right.
Speaker1: So let's let the listeners take a listen.
Speaker2: Okay.
Speaker1: Hey, Dan.
Speaker2: Hey, Lacey.
Speaker1: How are y'all doing today? I'm just curious. You don't really hear many women that like to peg in the lifestyle. It's almost like it's a unicorn. So I'm just trying to find women in the lifestyle that like to peg. And I'm striking out out do you happen to have any suggestions on trying to figure it out normally if you mention to a couple that you like to peg it kind of turns them off especially the women sometimes mean, there's plenty of strap-on sex with females to females, but not females to men. Just wanted to know if you happen to have any advice on finding that elusive pegging unicorn. Thanks. Hardcock74. Ooh. advice on finding that elusive pegging unicorn thanks hardcock 74 oh hardcock 74 wants to know how do you find women in the lifestyle that like to peg he seemed like there was a lot of pauses there was a lot of hesitation and him asking that question and i'm not sure if he was just trying to think about what he's going to say and like award it correctly or if he was just maybe hesitant about the subject that he was talking about and how it might be i don't know it's a little cute i liked it uh yes okay so maybe we have listeners that don't know what we're talking about when we say pegging okay so maybe we should just explain that in general first so so lacy what is pegging i mean my understanding of pegging is when you like put a strap on on or and you fuck a guy's ass with the strap on right so yeah and that's my understanding as well and maybe i should look it up but in very general that's our understanding. It's when a female or anally penetrates a male, usually with a strap on. Yeah. So we talked a little bit about this before we started it because we kind of were like gathering our thoughts a little. And then as you were sitting there playing that and we were doing the intro, I was thinking about something. I have never penetrated an ass other than my own with anything with anything with a finger not a toy that's not something you're super into and honestly if i'm being super transparent it's not something that i'm super interested in like nothing about that like screams turn like like it's not something that i'm eager to do uh like we were talking beforehand i i would love to watch it like and and maybe if i got some experience with watching it maybe i could learn to really it could be like something that i would be super into because a lot of things when we first hear about it i'm like no fucking way like dp dvp all these things i'm like there's no fucking way i'm ever going to do that but then like as i explore my sexuality i become like a little bit more comfortable and then i will explore it and then come to find out i actually really enjoy it and i kind of feel like pegging might be something like that but as of right now it's just not something i have ever explored. And I'm thinking about it. I'm like, I've never went into anybody's ass anywhere. Interesting side note. Sorry. No, it's okay. No, it is an interesting antidote. But I wonder if other females are like me. I mean, like, if your partner, if your primary partner is not, like, really into into that or has never explored that it's kind of like a foreign land if you will yeah and so i can see where there would be some hesitation yeah well and it kind of brings me to my next subject so we we know females that love pegging men but i will say if we look at the couples that we know and the couples that participate in that a lot of the husbands are bisexual yeah and so yeah what i suspect and to before anybody tries to cancel me i do not feel like you have to be bisexual no i don't think i don't see i don't think getting pegged by a female with a strap on makes you bisexual um i don't know what it says about your sexuality and i don't really think it matters but um there is this stigma that if you enjoy that that it is somehow you might be bisexual or leaning that way and i think from talking to people like susan it sounds like that's just a good way to for males to have an orgasm yeah um and so you know so our stance would be that that doesn't make doesn't really say anything about your sexuality other than you're just like exploring new things. But I think if you are a bisexual male or have curiosity about that, that this could be a safe way to explore that fantasy with your partner. So therefore, it makes sense that a lot of the men that have come out as bisexual have explored that that dynamic with their partner yeah um and a lot of their partners really really enjoy it yeah and um you know are willing to do it to anybody it almost seems like it's more of a partnered sexual fantasy especially like i don't know how far along this gentleman is but especially in the beginning that's something you do with your partner in the lifestyle like I'll see you next time. sexual fantasy especially like i don't know how far along this gentleman is but especially in the beginning that's something you do with your partner in the lifestyle like in playrooms and stuff like that i don't hear of a lot of like couple swapping where there's pegging involved where like the other wife would peg the husband or somebody else's husband yeah yeah i don't see that in a lot i mean or hear about it that doesn't mean it's not happening i'm sure somewhere some place it is right well i think it goes back to there's just not a lot of anal sex happening no you don't see a lot of anal sex in public play spaces you don't see a lot of anal sex in the lifestyle in general and i've also wondered you know why that is but i think if you go back and you listen to our episode with uh i believe it was dr goldstein right i don't remember anyway we had a doctor on and he was he's a he's an anal doctor he he he performs surgeries on butts that's what he does but he explained the ins and outs of anal sex and it's it's a lot to it and i think that might be part of it i also think for me anal sex i'm gonna need some trust in the person that's doing it to me that they're not just gonna jab whatever they have if it's a strap on if it's an actual dig or whatever that they're not just gonna jab it in me they're gonna you know go like soft and you know until i get worked up so i i don't i don't see a lot of that yeah so i think it's a few things i think it's the maybe the tabooness of it maybe it's a stigma maybe that swingers are kind of stuck in this heteronormative world where we don't necessarily explore some of those things and then i think too is just the complexity of anal sex makes it not ideal to explore these things with new partners and you know in place settings and things like that now i will say if you look at the gay community i guarantee they're having group sex and anal sex and for sure exploring all those things so i think it can be done and i think i kind of feel like us as swingers are progressing and becoming more sexually open and uh more into exploring more things especially around sexuality yeah um and so i think it might become more of a thing i think even just saying pegging or even just talking about that five years ago people would have looked like you're crazy no honestly my vision my views of pegging have changed drastically i can remember we first got in the lifestyle and like one of our friends her his husband her one of our friends his wife pe pegged him. And I can remember having thoughts of like, oh, is he bi? But now if I hear that somebody's pegged, I don't. That's not a thought. I think I've learned and I've grown. And I think I've become more open with my sexuality. And then that kind of lends to giving others others grace to their sexuality if that makes sense yeah okay so we've talked a lot about pegging talked a lot about what that means about your sexuality or doesn't mean but how can we answer the listener's question he specifically wants to know how he can connect with people in the lifestyle that are looking that would participate in that um god i have no idea like what do you i mean maybe find some like to me a woman that's going to peg you is needs to be a little bit dominant she needs to be like to control a situation so i think definitely that way we talked a little bit before before we hit record and i said if it was us and somebody had messaged and was like, you know, I'm interested in seeing if Lacey would be willing to peg me. I'm going to be honest, that would be hard for me and not because I don't find it attractive. I don't, I've just never done it. So it would make me uncomfortable because I just don't know what I would do with it. So don't know the best way to communicate that well what do you think no i agree i think i'm just being honest the right answer would be like yes i would be super turned on let's go let's have it done but the truth is i don't know that i would 100 feel that way i it would it would take me a lot i i would probably struggle i think it's not who you are so it's funny you know i think when you think about gay men they talk about like tops and bottoms right and you're either a top or I don't know. me a lot i i would probably struggle i think it's not who you are so it's funny you know i think when you think about gay men they talk about like tops and bottoms right and you're either a top or your bottom and there's some people that do both all right i think if if you could you are a bottom woman like you just are like that's who you are a girl with a strap on if you want me to be super transparent i just it doesn't feel natural for me it's not something you are a submissive bottom yeah you topping somebody whether it was male female anybody it just isn't who you are yeah so could you do it would you do it maybe if you're fun or for only fans or something you probably could or maybe maybe you would um but it's not something i think you naturally would gravitate to that role and say yes i want to do that so if we met this new couple and we were kind of vibing and they messaged me it would probably throw me for a loop let's just be transparent so i don't know how he finds some i feel like you need to find that person that gives off those vibes of i would be down to pegging someone does that make like well it's the same for me like if somebody came and i've had women come to me and be like dan i want to peg you and i'm just like that's just not it's just not me you got the wrong guy like and it's not i'm completely comfortable with my sexuality i don't mind you know lick my ass i love that little finger is okay but that's about where i draw the line and i don't know why just that's what i'm comfortable with i think everybody's allowed to have their boundaries and their things and i don't think that means you're judging other people who have different ones that's just what your preferences are so how does he find her all right so my suggestion if he's trying to find somebody that's into pegging and i think this really applies to any everything is just put it in your profile like really you think so yeah i think you'd be out and you'd be proud about it you say hey we're in the pegging and what's going to happen is you might get people who are like oh my gosh they're in the pegging like i'm past you know sweat past them but you're going to find the people that are into it yeah i was like and there's more people probably into it than what you've realized i'm struggling with that because i'm thinking about me i'm searching the internet i'm looking for couples and i see that there's a good chance you're not who he's looking for i would but i would probably be down to fuck and have a great time fucking and like doing all the things other than that but if you thought you think really if if you saw this profile in this this attractive couple that you're in you're like oh man they're hot and everything in their profile is nice but there's something in there that's like preferences like look you know into pegging would you be like oh no i don't think you would no maybe i would lead with that like hey i think you're hot i probably wouldn't peck you but if you want to have a good night let's let's do this you know or let's see where the if there's a vibe i guess you're right i don't know i think us as a community need to get to that where we can just this is a safe place. You can talk about your fantasies. You can talk about your desires. You can talk about your kinks and nobody should judge you. Right. There definitely is some judging going on. But honestly, the people that are doing the judging are probably not the people you want to connect with anyway. Well, I also think that like the social norms of like society has us feeling this certain way and like we've progressed to like okay we can share our partners and we can swing and we can do this but then this part over here is a little weird and so we don't know and then you know and even we can have the best intentions but still not be a hundred percent there safe sane consensual right as long as you're practicing safe sex it's in a consensual way and you're doing it sober or at least consenting to the thing sober it's all good it's all i feel like i'm working through this scenario in my head like it's me like i'm you know but so people are getting like my true live reaction to it and like hearing what you're saying and like learning about it and i don't know i feel like this is my journey even though it's hung daddy 74 is a journey or whatever his name was hard what was it hard cock yeah something like that i didn't mean to make it about anyway my first advice to him would be to just put it out there right and if you put it out there you're more you might get some people that swipe past you and don't talk to you because you've scared them off but you're going to get people that see that or like oh my gosh this is what i've been looking for my whole like yeah god we've been looking for a couple that was into this we thought we were the only ones yeah right that couple you're not the only ones we know i can think of like five or six couples just like that i know personally right so that's one way the other way is to make friends right is to to become an active part of a club form a community get to know people and then undoubtedly at some point in that journey you're going to cross somebody that's into the thing we have i can think of at least a half a dozen couples we know of maybe more that are into it so it definitely exists and is out there it's not as probably socially acceptable or socially as popular as other things but it definitely is part of this community and if it's something that you're into and you want to try it i think you just got to put it you got to put it into the universe and the people in the universe that are into it will find you yeah you're right i'm always right you should just be used to that by now all right uh and i think that sums it up yeah right so pegging could be a good time um does not mean you're gay and if you're into it um just be honest put it out into the universe and um the other people that are into it will will find you yeah all right um we need some more tuesday talk questions yeah we didn't have many this week i love and this is this like subject here is probably another example of one we might not have talked about had this question not come up so i think that's what i love about tuesday talks is it keeps it kind of pushes us outside of our bubble it does because my knee-jerk reaction was like i don't know if i can answer that you know because i just didn't know the right answer but i I did. Well, the truth is, there is no right answer. Yeah, I know. This is just a discussion, right? It's not. There's no right or wrong answer. I know. So if you have a Tuesday Talk question, you can text or call us. And that phone number is 972-302-7716. One more time. 972-302-7716.