Send us Fan MailTuesday Talks: Do You Have to Look Like Barbie? | Episode 9Welcome to another Tuesday Talks segment of The Swing Nation Podcast, hosted by Dan and Lacy, your top-rated lifestyle podcast about non-monogamy and swinging. In this episode, Dan and Lacy tackle a heartfelt question from Kate in Wisconsin. Kate asks Lacy how she handles the negative comments about her body online and whether one needs to look like Barbie to fit into the lifestyle. Join Dan and Lacy as they dive into a candid discussion about body positivity, dealing with online negativity, and embracing body diversity in the swinging community. Lacy shares her personal experiences, offers practical advice for staying confident, and debunks the myth that you need a perfect body to enjoy the lifestyle. Tune in for an empowering conversation that celebrates self-love and inclusivity in the world of swinging- The Swing Nation - Main Website Quick Navigation Website: -- (Find all our social media links more!) Follow us on Facebook! The Podcast Website- Swinger Society - Our Website to meet, connect events Swinger Society Discord Our Facebook Group- Swinger Websites -Kasadie 90 day free trialUsername: TheSwingNation SDC 14 day free trial Username: TheSwingNation** Use code 36313 for 14 days free! ** SLSUsername: NorthernGuynSouthernGirl- Merch More -Order Your Merch Here!- Lacy’s Fun Links - VIP OnlyFans PREMIUM OnlyFans-- THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS --Wisp : Making sexual healthcare inclusive, cost-effective, and accessible—for everyoneUse Code SWING at checkout for 15% off your oder! Shameless Care: ED Medication and at home STD testingUse Code TSN at checkout for $30 off your order!Promescent® Make Love Longer, It’s Time for Great SexUse Code SwingNation for 5% off!Pinaq Liqueur; The Official Drink of The Swing NationUse Code TSN at checkout for 15% off!Support the show- Thank you for the support! -
Transcript
Speaker1: This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. Welcome to the Swing Nation podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe, interview the experts, learn and grow together join the nation so lacy people are asking how do they get to go to a party or an event with us they check out swingers society.net you create a, you sign up for an event, and you come hang out with us. Super easy. That's right. If you want to party with us and the other faces and names that you know from social media and TikTok, head on over to swingersociety.net. Can't wait to see you there. Sexual health care can be so much more than STI testing. WISP offers services like emergency contraception, help in delaying your period, UTI treatments, and so much more. They You know what I mean? care can be so much more than STI testing. WISP offers services like emergency contraception, help in delaying your period, UTI treatments, and so much more. They even have a product called the OMG Cream that helps provide more fulfilling orgasms for women. WISP provides same-day prescriptions and can give you discreet treatment in the comfort and privacy of your own home. Check out the link in our show notes or go to HelloWISiz.com and use code SWING for 15% off. Most people have unprotected oral sex, right? Be honest. Now think about your last STD test. Did your doctor tickle your throat with something that looked like a giant Q-tip? Probably not. Yet that's the only way to check for oral gonorrhea or chlamydia, which are often asymptomatic. You need a better doctor. You need shamelesscare.com. Use coupon code TSN at checkout. Hey there, pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. We we are your hosts northern guy and southern girl in today's episode we're doing another another tuesday talks we are talking tuesday yeah with with dan and lacy yeah i actually like tuesday talks i do too they're quick like we can come out really quick and then i actually like answering the from people. I hope we're doing a good job. Yeah. We've actually got some feedback. A couple of the people that messaged us and asked us about some of the like relationship kind of advice stuff. So I messaged us back and said they appreciated what we said and they're taking it into account. So that's kind of interesting. Yeah. It's very much yes. So if you have a tuesday talks question um feel free to reach out and ask us we'd be happy to discuss it and answer it uh and the best way to do that is probably to email us the swing nation at gmail.com you can dm us on social media but a lot of that gets kind of put in these like folders that we don't necessarily see and then we go through and we clean them up once in a while but you could get missed so the email is probably probably the best way to yeah correspond with us i agree but i kind of like those those questions i do too especially when they're like kind of like tea related you mean like the one this is what happened we were at a swingers party and my husband did this yeah how should I have? But sometimes, you know, I can think of that. Like me and you have gotten arguments about stuff. Yeah. And kind of get somebody's like outside perspective of like, what do you think of this? Well, I am on a Reddit group for swingers and people will make like fake Reddit pages. Like not Reddit pages, but like a profile and we'll go in there and ask questions and people rip them apart i mean like it's almost like they they think it's fun to like be mean i don't know it's well that's reddit in general but it is but it's like people genuinely and some of the questions are stupid like how do i find out if my neighbor is a swinger and they're like just freaking ask them you know like some of the questions are if you're that curious yeah um but a lot of the questions are genuine questions and i feel like people just kind of rip people apart and that's not what we do here no unfortunately i think that's just the way of the internet though yeah as we've learned over the last few years yeah okay. Okay. So let's get to today's question.
Speaker2:
Okay.
Speaker1:
So Kate from Wisconsin wrote two questions, actually. And the first one, she's asking just about STIs and STDs. And instead of answering that, we're just going to refer her to all the podcasts that we have done on STD, STS. We have several. We have some with Dr. Stower. We have some with Shameless Care. So there is quite a few over the years that we have done that are much more thorough than we can give in a 20-minute Tuesday talk episode. Yeah. So I know a lot of people haven't listened from the beginning, so they don't know those are there. But if you have questions around that, I highly recommend go and listen to those because Dan and I learned a lot from those podcasts. And so I think they're super beneficial. And I encourage anyone who's thinking about being in the lifestyle or just sexually active to go listen to those. Yeah, it definitely is a good like STI sex education kind of, like you said, we learned lot and i thought i was pretty knowledgeable going into this no we were not yeah we've learned a lot and we still we still have questions like we had to call dr stower not too long ago about a question um so we're learning along with everyone so definitely go check those out so the second part of her question um is more from me she said how do you handle all the body comments it's crazy the things that people say and write it makes me uncomfortable and fearful of judgment and shame is the idea in the lifestyle that everyone needs to like Barbie you're beautiful by the way so I think this is like a really good question and I can kind of see that somebody that's thinking about getting the lifestyle goes to any of our social media and starts reading the comments, how that could be off-putting. Like if you look at yourself and you're comparing yourself to me and then you read these comments and you're seeing what people say to me, if I was somebody on the outside, that would turn me off. But the truth is, is that they are not one in the same. Well, the funny thing is i never would have drawn that connection right so it's interesting that somebody's writing to us and they're literally saying i'm scared to join the lifestyle because i see the way people comment on your body you know talking about lacy and that makes me fearful to join the lifestyle because i'm concerned about my own body um issues well but here's the thing like you don't see that but for women and i can't see maybe men feel this way i can't speak for them but if you are thinking about joining this and the only people that you know or see are swinger influencers on social media and you compare your body to their body and then you're seeing the comments that they're getting what other conclusions you have to draw on you know because you've never if you've never been to a swingers club you've never went to a resort so you have no idea other than like the promotions and stuff that you see for these places have all these super beautiful thin models so you really have no other um nothing to go by so i can see how we can compare yeah i guess just for me the part i'm confused with is thinking that the people in the comment is a representation of the lifestyle i don't i don't i guess i wouldn't have drawn that conclusion but i can see i guess i get it but yeah but i guess the answer is that's not it's not none of those people are at a swingers resort or a lot and if they are they're sure as hell not saying that. So let's just – let's put that to bed. I've never had anyone in public or in person come up to me and say even remotely anything that social media has said. Has anybody ever said anything to you negative about your body? No. Like in real life? No. Never. Not one time. Especially not at a swingers. swinger no actually the lifestyle is actually the opposite i think women and men build each other up a lot of people in the lifestyle are not your cookie cutter 20 year old you do get some of those but most people in lifestyle have had children have lost weight gain weight you know maybe had a little work to fix the things like you see a lot of mommy makeovers in the lifestyle um just because i think women are proud to show off their bodies and they want to see a lot but what would is it 20 30 i mean it's not everybody right so you're thinking if i haven't had a mommy makeover then i'm not gonna fit in no it's not everybody i guess because maybe you're seeing people naked or in very little clothing maybe that's why but like thinking about my friends outside of the lifestyle the same amount of people have mommy makeovers that as in the lifestyle probably yeah makes sense it's not any different but you just see it i guess because they're naked you can kind of see their surgery scars and stuff but everyone in lifestyle is super kind and up and they build each other up and you see somebody walk in with a cute dress you compliment it and one thing i've learned about men is they love women all shapes and all sizes i've been really skinny in the lifestyle and i've been really heavy in the lifestyle and i feel like i got just as much attention from men as i did skinny like teeny tiny so that's that's what I see in the last none of the comments that are on social media are a reflection of anything that is actually happening in the lifestyle no i think that i think that's important yeah and the the funny thing about all this is yeah the lifestyle is the exact opposite if you go to a lifestyle event a lifestyle party you're going to get people coming up to you and saying, oh, my God, I love your dress or I love your shoes and oh, you're beautiful. And kind of like what you were saying, you're going to see people of all body styles. You're going to see stretch marks. You're going to see flabby arms and stomachs and fat and body fat and cellulite. And it's not bad. Like it's not people aren't like turned like turned off by it's just normal it's just natural it's just what you expect when you see a bunch of naked people like it's it's part of it like just coming back from like keto and bliss and stuff like that where you see more naked people than like your average swinger club i mean you literally see a little bit of everything in every shape and size and age i I mean, think about how many like 70, 80 year olds you see it, like Hedo and Bliss and stuff like that. They do not care. They're just out there living their best life. And I will say, you know, when you're at these places and there's a bunch of naked people, yes, there are those super fit and shape people. And yes, they do turn heads and get attention. But I think really what grabs attention at like a hedo or a bliss cruise or a secrets more than really people's bodies is their their personality the girl that's having fun or the guy that's yeah it's the it's the energy you bring it's it's the vibe you know i mean and that's that's if i've learned anything over the last you know three five years that we've been doing this or whatever that's what really matters yeah if you come in with a burst a bubbly personality and you have good energy and you're you're you know mingling and talking to people those are the people that are going to have the most success and probably end up in a bed with multiple people that night yeah if you have six-pack abs and you sit in a corner and don't talk to anybody you're probably not gonna fuck anybody you know i mean like people are probably aren't gonna approach you they're gonna be like oh they're a stuck-up snob and even though they're hot Thank you very much. have six-pack abs and you sit in a corner and don't talk to anybody you're probably not gonna fuck anybody you know i mean like people are probably aren't gonna approach you they're gonna be like oh they're a stuck-up snob and yeah even though they're hot and i'm i'm intimidated to go talk to them and so they're probably gonna end up not making any connections so it really is more about you and your personality than it really is about your body i totally agree and so i would say what was her name kate? Yeah. I hope that helps. Please do not associate the trolls on Instagram and TikTok and Reddit to actual lifestyle people. Yeah, they're meanies that have no clue about the lifestyle. And I don't like them, to be honest. They they hurt my heart but i try really hard not to read them even though i still do um but i try hard not to read them you don't read them okay don't even read the trolls on my account just we're not going to give them any credit yeah so i guess do you want to talk a little bit since we have a little bit of time still about how you deal with that um well i can but i don't really know that i have like a way to deal with them i typically try really hard not to read the comments especially right now instagram is really bad tiktok has got some new anti-bullying so you'll see some comments but for the most part t, TikTok's pretty clean nowadays, and it's Instagram. That's really bad. I usually try not to read the comments, especially if it's a bathing suit picture, because they just ripped me apart. But the other night, I was bored and couldn't sleep, and actually I was sick, so I just was laying there kind of in my misery. And, you know, I thought it was like a good idea to go and read every single comment which in the time was probably not but i i have i i was proud of myself because i didn't get upset a lot of them i laughed about um a lot of them are very wrong i mean and i guess because we've been doing this enough time that i've been pretty skinny and then i've been pretty heavy and i've seen every comment under the sun and it really doesn't matter my actual body weight you kind of learned their comments aren't an actual reflection of yeah they're really good they're just a reflection of the hate correct they're gonna say i'm fat regardless if i'm 20 pounds heavier or lighter um i did, some of the comments the other day. I think they think I'm shorter than I am. Like, there was a couple that, you know, I'm like, I don't think they realize that I'm, like, 5'6", 5'7". I'm not super short, so I can carry my weight a little bit better. But, like, the comments, like, about my chin and about, like, I get called Jay Leno's sister or daughter or stuff like that. And then the, the, um,
Speaker2:
the comments about like STD, like where you're dirty and that those don't really bother me because one, I have, I have STD tests that go back years that show nothing. So like,
Speaker1:
okay, you can joke all you want in the comments. I have like the doctor's records that show that it doesn't happen.
Speaker2:
And,
Speaker1:
but to be honest with you, even if I had gotten something that doesn't make me a bad person, you know, as i'm well that's part of the stigma about us yeah it's funny to me this is off topic but if somebody gets a uti at a swingers club or event that's completely normal right but if you get an sti which is just a different type of bacteria you know i mean like it's just funny the stigma that's that's surrounding stis versus yeah other infections so you know like stuff like my chin and um and like something that doesn't really bother me honestly the things that bothered me were more of the comments about you because like you've started to dress a little bit like you used to just wear like your typical man outfit like like khakis, button up shirt. And you've kind of. Now I'm wearing like shorty shorts and mesh shirts. And so, of course, everyone thinks that you're, you know, either gay or bisexual or you can't please me. Those I found, those comments bothered me more because it wasn't about me. I'm used to the ones about me. So there's not a way to deal with it.'s not they hurt i'm not gonna lie uh but i've gotten i've gotten better at dealing with them yeah i almost you think part of it's just you've been hearing it for three years now and it's like kind of old news at this point or partly yeah but sometimes you know it depends on my like mental well-being they could catch me on an off day and it could you know shatter my world for that day but that doesn't happen that often in the beginning when we first started social media it definitely did yeah um but it you know it's okay it is what it is yeah it is interesting and i've definitely seen the the evolution of you know you go through ups and downs and it definitely does seem like like you were just saying it kind of goes with your mental health so like you know after if you have surgery and then you're going through recovery and you you know kind of knew you were dealing with some stuff like then you're more sensitive to it oh for sure you know when you're confident then you're you're less susceptible to comments you know when when you i can tell that you're confident in your body you know the comments seem to kind of bounce off a little bit more and uh yeah if you're having a bad day sometimes i try to tell you just to stay out of the comments and i try to i do try to but i you know it's bound for me to see some of them because i'm just locked in so it happened i typically don't i've learned my lesson to go out and look for them and read them especially leading up to an event that i need to feel confident in. I've learned to just not even look at them. And especially if a video has gone viral, I will totally try to stay away from it. Because once you get over 100 or 200,000, it's like the Wild Wild West in the comments. You're going to see everything. I did the other night get, I don't normally like argue back, but there was a lady that attacked me in the comments and she tagged me from her real account and she had her phone number, her, she had her like a picture of her car with her car tag and all this. And I was like. It wasn't her husband was some kind of elected official. Yeah. And she had like all the posters and I'm like, how dare you come at me from your real account? Which I don't, I never argue back. we have friends in the comments that are doing a great job you know in that i don't even have to argue back but i don't know i guess to see the people the funny thing about that is you called her out you know and her husband was an elected official and you said something like you know how would you know like how would you people that you know represent him or i don't know whatever feel about these comments and she deleted the comment and then she wrote you back and said i think my kids get on got on my account and commented this i'm so sorry which goes to show you that's that's a definition of a troll when they think they're protected and they think they're safe they think there's no way they have to no reason they have to deal with the consequences or their actions they feel pretty big and mighty and say we'll say all kinds of stuff how are you gonna throw your kid under the bus like her kids are on there too i could probably figure it out so what's worse you being a troll or you saying your kids are terrible people right i don't know it's fine you know it is what it is um i guess another question i have for you about as far as body images like you now know that thousands of people are paying money to see your body yeah and to see you and you know naked and things like that is that how does that affect your self-confidence or do you even think about that i don't really think about it no i if you don't know i don't watch any of like our content like our sex content or try not to look at a lot of pictures i just i've learned over the years that if i watch it or i look at it i pick apart everything and um it's just like completely unnecessary so i try really hard to like stay away from that i'll let you handle all of that i do watch the tiktoks though yeah no it's interesting you know it's it's another kind of funny thing that you know you're a top one percent only fans model you're making more money than most people in america you know you're top tier you know income earner because of all that and a lot of that has to do with because you have an amazing and beautiful body and so i want i just wondered if that counteracted some of it should but it doesn't i should be more confident than i am yeah um i think that my bbl i really felt like it would make me more confident and in clothes i do feel a lot more confident i'm naked or like in small outfits i still am struggling with that, but I'm trying to like like just give my body time to heal and not rush things i think like when women have babies or have surgeries or whatever the case may be i think we do it to ourselves but we just rush everything to snap back and look perfect again and it's just not i'm also like 20 pounds heavier than when I went in for surgery. And just from sitting and not being super active and just water retention, our lives are crazy. We've been on like three major trips in the last 45 days. So we're not eating. We're not on a routine. We're not doing all the things that we're supposed to do. So I'm trying to remember that as well. So I'm just trying to give myself grace. Okay. All right. Well, I think that was a good conversation. I hope that helps Kate and to let her know that certainly do not base the lifestyle and lifestyle people off the comments that you see on Lacey's social media because that is not in any way, shape, or form a representation. The lifestyle is welcoming of all people and all body types. It really is one of the most welcoming environments. I would say if you're curious about that, just come out to an event. Come to a club. Come to Secrets. Come to a party with us. You'll very, very quickly see that the people that come out to these things are really some of the best people that are out there.
Speaker2:
All right.
Speaker1:
Well, I hope that helps. Again, if you have a question, please write in. Let us know your questions. We'll give you an answer. TheSwingNation at gmail.com. TheSwingNation at gmail.com is where to send that email. And we'll be here waiting.
Speaker2:
Yeah.
Speaker1:
All right, guys. I think with that, in a world full of apples. Be the pineapple. Be the pineapple, guys.
Speaker2:
Bye.
Speaker1:
If you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us, leave a five-star review wherever you're listening. If you want to see more of our content, you can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Swinger content creators on our Swinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at theswingnation at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to theswingnation.net and keep up to date on all things Swing Nation. We thank you so much for joining us, and we'll see you next time. Goodbye.
