Send us Fan MailLifestyle Education | The Secret to Making Us Cum: A Thanksgiving Special | Episode 171In this special Thanksgiving episode of The Swing Nation Podcast, Dan and Lacy start by wishing all their listeners a Happy Thanksgiving! They share a few of their cherished family traditions and reveal their favorite holiday dishes. But once the turkey talk wraps up, they dive into something a little spicier—what makes them cum.Dan and Lacy open up about the keys and combinations that lead them to mind-blowing orgasms and share their insights on how to uncover that magic code in the people you engage with. Whether you re looking to spice things up with your partner or bring your A-game to your next lifestyle encounter, this episode serves up everything you need to know to unlock pleasure.Tune in for a heartfelt, candid, and sexy discussion that’s sure to leave you feeling satisfied—no leftovers needed!- The Swing Nation -Main Website Quick Navigation Website: -- (Find all our social media links more!)- Swinger Society - Our Website to meet, connect events Swinger Society Discord Our Facebook Group- Swinger Websites -Kasadie 90 day free trialUsername: TheSwingNation SDC 14 day free trial Username: TheSwingNation** Use code 36313 for 14 days free! ** SLSUsername: NorthernGuynSouthernGirl- Merch More -Order Your Merch Here!- Lacy’s Fun Links -VIP OnlyFansPREMIUM OnlyFans-- THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS --Wisp : Making sexual healthcare inclusive, cost-effective, and accessible—for everyoneUse Code SWING at checkout for 15% off your oder!Shameless Care: ED Medication and at home STD testingUse Code TSN at checkout for $30 off your order!Promescent® Make Love Longer, It’s Time for Great SexUse Code SwingNation for 5% off!Sing it Bikinis: adjustable one-size styles, thoughtfully crafted to flatter every body type.Support the show- Thank you for the support! -
Transcript
This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. Welcome to the Swing Nation podcast, a podcast by swingers, for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle.
Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe, interview the experts, learn and grow together. Join the nation. So Lacey, people are asking, how do they get to go to a party or an event with us? They check out swingersociety.net. You create a profile, you sign up for an event, and you come hang out with us. Super easy. That's right. If you want to party with us and the other faces and names that you know from social media and TikTok, head on over to swingersociety.net. Can't wait to see you there. Sexual health care can be so much more than STI testing.
WISP offers services like emergency contraception, help in delaying your period, UTI treatments, and so much more. Thank you. health care can be so much more than STI testing. WISP offers services like emergency contraception, help in delaying your period, UTI treatments, and so much more. They even have a product called the OMG Cream that helps provide more fulfilling orgasms for women. WISP provides same-day prescriptions and can give you discreet treatment in the comfort and privacy of your own home. Check out the link in our show notes or go to HelloWiz.com and use code SWING for 15% off.
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Yet that's the only way to check for oral gonorrhea or chlamydia which are often asymptomatic you need a better doctor you need shamelesscare.com use coupon code tsn at checkout hey there pineapple people and welcome to the swing nation podcast we are your hosts northern guy and southern girl in today's episode we're doing a few things yeah today is thanksgiving it is happy thanksgiving everyone thanksgiving swing nation listeners uh so we're gonna talk a little bit about that yeah uh maybe a little little life update upcoming events kind of stuff um but then i think it's gonna be fun to talk a little bit about that.
Yeah. Maybe a little life update, upcoming events kind of stuff. Mm-hmm. But then, I think it's going to be fun to talk a little bit about what makes us cum. Yeah. What do you think about that? I like it. Like, what makes Lacey slash Dan, probably separately, have an orgasm? Yeah. Okay. So, let's start.
We'll start a little bit with thanksgiving yeah well where are you thankful for today or tomorrow i guess technically um yeah because it's technically it's wednesday night at like 7 30 um gosh it's a loaded question um it's a loaded question this is thanksgiving day this is what people do they sit around the table no no i'm just trying to think of like if i had to pick one obviously i'm thankful for my family like obviously but after that i'm thankful for my health yeah yeah that's been heavy on my heart too when i was thinking about this Anything else?
I think it's like, I mean, I could keep for my health. Yeah. Yeah, I think that, yeah. That's been heavy on my heart, too, when I was thinking about this. Mm-hmm. Anything else? I think it's, like, I mean, I could keep going for days, but, I mean, I think, like, my friends, my family, my health, obviously you. I mean, like, you fall in friends and family, but that's, when I think immediately those are the things that pop into my head. What about you?
No, I think this Thanksgiving is an interesting one for us yeah uh and to just the update the listeners in case this is the first podcast you happen to turn on from the swing nation um over the last three four months now yeah we've been dealing with kind of some family health crises uh crisis is that how you say that but anyway um lacy's mom was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer um she was the primary caregiver for her dad who is in kidney failure severely diabetic and has a whole list of health problems of his own and so at this stage of our life we've actually moved both her mom and her dad in with us and we are their well lacy's mostly their full-time caretaker but we we do that together some uh you do the things that i can't handle we've recently um my mom has gone into surgery and had some emergency surgery stuff go on with her she's perfectly okay now and expected to make a full recovery uh your your son actually just had a surgery today today yeah so in the last few months for us have been multiple hospital visits a week and some major surgeries and some some serious stuff just today we had one planned surgery one unplanned one unplanned an emergency like ambulance ride it's been a day we really were supposed to do this podcast last night but it's just it's been hectic to say the least yeah so i guess i'm thankful that we have a thanksgiving with everybody and yeah and we'll be able to enjoy that even though it might entail bringing um thanksgiving plates to the hospital yeah because your dad still is in the hospital and probably will be tomorrow.
But everybody's still here. Yeah. So we can be thankful for that. Very thankful. I'm also thankful, I think if this had happened two or three years ago when we were both working full-time, nine to five jobs, I don't, we would be, you know, your parents would be in nursing homes or something.
Like like we wouldn't we wouldn't be able to spend the kind of quality time even though it's sometimes hard and sometimes frustrating and sometimes um you know it can take a lot emotionally uh out of you i think at some point in time we're gonna look back on this and be like thank god we had that well yeah i think thank well yeah i mean have this time. You're 100% right. But, yeah, definitely thankful for the podcast.
Thanks for the lifestyle that kind of put us on this journey to start a podcast, to then be somewhat of influencers slash business owners in the lifestyle that's allowed us the opportunity to be home and to kind of refocus on what we need to focus on. So, very good.
out that's allowed us the opportunity to be home and to kind of refocus um what we need to you know what we need to focus on so very much appreciative of that being able to work from a phone in in the emergency room has been uh beneficial you know which is really funny because you know like our parents obviously know we're swingers they know what we do um but my dad is 76 and does not understand that dan is working even when he's on his phone it's so funny he's like is he what does he do is he so he's working uh yeah dad he's he's working i promise yeah no he doesn't fully understand no he doesn't it's kind of cute it's funny i don't think your mom fully understands either she's the one that's good at like when i'm in the middle of reviewing a club contract or something she but i get it because i'm just it looks like i'm playing on my phone even you get frustrated sometimes about that um okay so we're thankful um for all those things and then secondly you know family first the health thing it's really brought in perspective to me these last few months like how finite our lives are and how limited your time on this earth is how limited your time is with the people that you love um how you know one trip to the hospital can change your your entire plan for your life so i definitely think there's probably a lot of people maybe maybe you're on your way your family, whether it's your parents or your kids, depending on what age demographic you're in.
Um, you know, maybe you're in the car right now and you're, you're driving there to go have Thanksgiving with your family. And there's probably part of you that's like, I don't want to do this. I don't want to talk about politics.
I don't want to talk about, uh, you know, I don't want to have all these arguments and disagreements and, you know, man still owes me a hundred dollars you know like all that family stuff that i think we all deal with and i know i've been in that situation where i'm like i do not want to go spend the afternoon with some of these people and just smile and pretend like i'm happy to be here yeah um but when you really think of it in the grand scheme of things that who won the last election doesn't really matter if you have your parents with you and you're able to enjoy them and love them and that's really what matters yeah no i agree um and it really reminds me of why i like this lifestyle so much it's because we operate in a space that's almost disconnected from all of that you know like all those daily things that divide us we just kind of leave them at the door right they don't it really do not exist i don't i've never i don't think i've ever had one conversation about politics in a in a lifestyle setting no i don't think so in there which would it would be really people would look at you like you're crazy yeah it would get shut down to have that conversation yeah we get shut down real quick but i think over the last few months it's like please please god send me to a space where i don't have to have those conversations you know yeah and that's you know whether whatever side of the spectrum you fall on is that i think we can all appreciate that um so it's nice that we have these spaces to get away from that and enjoy people for just who they are as a person and not yeah how they voted or how they feel about politics so um there's a lot to be thankful for this year very much so thankful for you i'm Thank you.
for just who they are as a person and not how they voted or how they feel about politics. There's a lot to be thankful for this year. Very much so. I'm thankful for you. I'm thankful for you. Even when we want to kill each other, I'm still thankful for you. I'm not going to cry. I'm not going to cry. But no, very thankful for you. We'll just leave it at that. All right. All right, so everybody, I hope you guys have a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Definitely hold hold your loved ones tight give them a give them a big hug today uh enjoy that the turkey or the ham or the cranberry what's your uh i was listening to the radio today as i was driving back and forth to the hospital and they kept saying like they were talking about like what's your favorite side dish or what's your favorite turkey dish or what uh you know i'm not there was debate over like people were getting mad yeah i was watching listening to something this morning that the guy was saying he likes gravy with everything and his wife likes cranberry sauce with everything like she almost uses the cranberry sauce as like a gravy and he was like that's something that we've had to like work through over through over the years.
Because, like, she could care less about the gravy. And he has to remind her, we've got to have some gravy. Do we have cranberry sauce? The kind in the can. Yeah, okay. Yeah, we do have that. I like just some good old-fashioned homemade macaroni and cheese. Like, we've gotten better at home about making homemade macaroni and cheese, like, just normal. But typically in my life, I had homemade macaroni and cheese like Thanksgiving, Christmas, just occasionally. But I love homemade macaroni and cheese.
I would argue that what you're talking about is not what in my head is homemade macaroni and cheese. It is homemade, but it's not really even homemade. It's you take nicer noodles and you take the Vveta cheese in a box or whatever well that is one way um but like the like i also like this year we're doing the one with the shredded cheese and like you do the roux yeah and i've done that i did a couple years ago maybe not last year but i did it a few years ago right but you're not baking it we are baking it are baking it this year. Oh, you're baking it. We are baking it.
Are you putting breadcrumbs on it? No, no breadcrumbs on it. Or crackers or whatever they put on the top of it? No, we are not. Extra cheese on the top. But we are baking it. Okay. Yeah. All right. So normally when we make it, it's nicer noodles with Velveeta cheese. Yeah. But that's our newer. But that's like our homemade during the week. Right. True.
Yes, I'm talking about like true, like like yeah but i think even me and you would probably agree on this i like a blue box i like that craft blue box macaroni and cheese but not for thanksgiving no well it's funny how i think probably everybody listening can relate to this there's probably something in your childhood yeah that you had that isn't even like that great of a thing but because it's kind of nostalgic because you ate it when you were a child for sure you're drawn to that thing so when i say like what do you think that thing is for you when you say like oh it's something you ate as a child that's like nostalgic are you talking thanksgiving stuff or anything like cheese toast cheese toast yeah so like we would make it in the we had like a little toaster oven and my mom would like allow us to do that we would just literally white bread with with a slice of like – Crap, like the – Yeah, like cheese slices.
It's a cheese sandwich, cheese, yeah. Yeah. And you would watch it until it like right before it burns, like just like five seconds before you pull it out. That was my favorite thing. That was your thing. The funny thing, you know, my dad said to me, I think today, and I don't even know if you heard this, you know, he's like, what are you having for dinner? And I think we were cooking, whatever. And I was like, what are you having? And he said macaroni and cheese with tuna in peace. Oh my God. Which is a total Northern thing. And I grew up eating that a lot.
And I actually don't like it because I don't like tuna fish. But in my head, I was like, I haven't even heard, like since I've joined the army, nobody, I don't think I've ever seen anybody else eat that. But it was totally a thing when I was a kid growing up. We're off topic. What is your Thanksgiving favorite side? My favorite side for Thanksgiving. I do like cranberry sauce. I think I like it in just the normal canned cranberry sauce. But you only eat it maybe Christmas and Thanksgiving.
That's the only time throughout the year when you eat eat it so i think that's kind of nostalgic because everything i mean i love mashed potatoes i love turkey i love gravy i'm not a really big stuffing fan i like macaroni and cheese but like all those things you kind of eat whenever now i do say probably my my if you're actually me what my absolute favorite thing is is the pies okay so this is i wasn't going to bring it up because this is like a whole tangent we gotta it's thanksgiving day it's a thanksgiving day tangent um last year i think we had like one pie and dan was like what what the fuck is this like why like where's the apple pie where's the pumpkin pie where's and i was like that can't be a north or south thing though no you're right we This this is just a your your weird thing i'm not a pie eater so i typically am in charge of like the dessert didn't you get a cake last year i did it was like it was like a birthday cake but like with thanksgiving decorations and you bitched at me you were like how do we not have like so guess what we got five fucking pies for tomorrow yeah five pies um because i was like i am i i'm Thank you.
you were like how do we not have like so guess what we got five fucking pies for tomorrow yeah five pies um because i was like i am i i'm never gonna hear that that i we're doing it and actually i bought two pecan pies so four technically and then you have one to eat later but i did pecan pumpkin apple and then the pistachio pie and then we i did cupcakes i'm not a pie eater so i do i did cupcakes and rice crispy treats so yeah so that pies were probably my favorite what i look for but i'm learning we've only been married for four years so i'm sorry but i will never again not have pies okay all right well so happy thanksgiving you guys enjoy your pie or your birthday cake if that's if anybody else in the world does that.
And again, give a give a hug to everybody in your house today. Okay. Moving on for from Thanksgiving, but still maybe on things that we're thankful for. Yeah.
Let's talk about what makes you come slash us come okay uh okay so i think to start this right when i when i say the words what makes you come what does that even mean like what are we talking about here i think of sex like that when you said that that's what i thought but then because we had kind of talked about doing this podcast and we casually talked about and then right before we came on you said mentioned something about like a magic wand and i was like oh well i didn't think about it that way i was thinking like what makes you set i mean what makes you say what makes you come in like a swinging situation that's kind of where my mind went but yeah i mean i'm sure it's kind of all of the above i mean so all forms of it right so when we say what makes you come we're talking about what makes you what helps you achieve an orgasm yeah right so what what kind of things it could be and i think what situation are we talking about because that that can vary that can vary yeah but i think even you the roadmap is the same ish yeah i think for me um and i think it's super worth mentioning if my head is not in the right spot i'm not gonna come you know and i think like and for you it seems very much more black and white but also i feel like sometimes you could get your head too so i don't want to discredit that i don't want to say't want to say, like, men don't have feelings and they can just come.
I think it's harder for me to come at this point in our life than it is for you to come. What do you think? Yeah. You have way more orgasms than I do. Yeah. Yeah. But, yeah, I mean, I definitely have to be in the right head space.
And that can mean different things on different days like sometimes i can be in a pissy mood and i don't want to be touched i don't want to be looked at but then sometimes i can be in a pissy mood and you can like see that i need like a release and and i can come does that make sense so this is a complicated fucking thing i'm not gonna lie yeah so i think we can break it down into basically, I think, two, if not maybe three categories. Okay. All right. So to make you come or to make me come. Yeah. I don't want it to just be about me. You have to be comfortable or feel safe, number one. Yeah.
Which kind of falls into my number two, which is you have to be in the right mental state, right? You have to be in a certain mental state.
Do you think guys need to feel safe or is that like a female thing uh i don't know it might be more of a female i cannot think of a situation where do you think that males just feel safer in more places so that's not really yeah this is actually in this i don't want to go too far off of this tangent but i cannot remember i was listening to a podcast or listening or maybe we were talking to one of these sex specialists or something and and somebody said that they said the the whenever a female enters into a sexual situation the first thing they think about is their safety and i can't remember when i heard that i was like what like really i don't think like that's the first thing you think about is am i safe i don't think men realize that well i can only speak for myself but i think about my safety all the time like if i'm alone like obviously if you're with me i can let my guard down but like going to the mall going shopping going to walmart going to in and out of the hospital for my parents anything like that i'm thinking about my safety like as i'm walking to the car as it is a is a male that is a foreign concept to me yeah i think being a male i'm the opposite being in the military you're not a small guy i think all of those things are all reasons that you probably don't have like any concept of that.
I feel safe unless something makes me feel unsafe. Right. So I walk through life just assuming I'm safe unless some type of red flag triggers me to be like you're not safe. Right. And it seems like you're saying, yes, the exact opposite. You go through life thinking everywhere you go, somebody is trying to hurt you or get you or is going to do some kind of physical harm to you until there's something that makes you feel safe in that environment. Correct. That is mind-boggling to me and really is, I think, an important thing.
I think it's an important thing for guys to understand that basically when you approach a female then, right, and you want to have sex with her, your first task that should be in your mind is i need to make her feel safe not not i need to make her feel sexy not i need to make her think that i'm a masculine dominant man like the first thing you need to do is convince this person that she is safe with you yeah but i think that the more you think about that the probably like it almost needs to be a natural thing like if you try to force it that would make me be a red flag that would make me feel unsafe yeah it kind of i think some it may and maybe that's why i mean i tend to like bigger guys that can like pick me up and i feel like i feel like they're like to me like if you're bigger i come to i kind of feel like you're more masculine i don't know but like something about that turns me on and maybe deep down somewhere that that has something to do with it i don't know okay so and safety isn't even on the like we made little show notes and that's not even on here you know i mean it's just something i thought about but but i think it's important so can you run us through like what is that checklist for i'm safe like what i don't it's not a it's not something even like so like i don't have there's no no i don't think that you you realize that there's no checklist it's just a feeling like it's just like oh i'm comfortable it's like you don't even like i don't even think oh do i feel safe it's not even that it's just like okay this feels good let's move forward but it's sort of that kind of makes me think you know the first time we met you actually showed up to my hotel room yeah you didn't know me we talked online for half a day or something so what what made you feel safe enough i did not feel safe i did not and even the first time i went to visit you at your house i did not feel safe um i was taking a chance and i was fully aware of that is there a little excitement in that yes yes yeah for me there was and I think like in the beginning for swinging that was fun you know like that like it's kind of like rebellion I don't know like breaking out of the norm the world says you don't show up to a guy's hotel room at 10 o'clock at night that you don't know and then you do it it kind of it is exciting and scary we didn't do it though we did not have sex um yeah it was me that was me rebelling against right but also was like but even going into that situation you still have the eject button is you're you're thinking of if i need to escape how am i gonna get out of this did you text somebody and say hey i'm going here usually i would i don't know if you don't hear from me in 30 minutes send the cops to this room number i don't know if i did that night but um that typically if i as a unicorn if i was going to meet a couple or meet somebody you know i would not go to their house usually at first i would try to meet them out I'm not saying I didn't ever go to someone's house because I know I did so somebody's gonna be like no she did show up in my house no I I did it but I did um but I tried not to but yeah I would let people know and even like when I went to visit you the first time I can remember thinking okay well you have like my mom has my location or here you know just ping my phone and my body's on the side of the road now i will say so i you know i've said i've never felt and this is gonna it actually follows suit with what i said but when i was a single male there was times where i did a similar thing where i would just a couple would just send me their address and i would go and and there was you know because like you said i'm a military guy and kind of always have that security thing in the back of my mind you know after spending years in combat and stuff i think that's just built into you but there there was times where i was kind of thinking like are they just trying to rob me like am i just going to show this house and there's going to be some dude there were a couple dudes and they're just going to rob me you know then i'm thinking like in common sense is like well that's dumb because they don't even know if i have money or anything you know i mean like yeah it seems like a lot of work to rant rob's random guy that you don't even know if he has money or not but yeah but anyway so i guess i have thought of safety at times yeah but i usually go in assuming i'm safe and then if you catch a bad a bad vibe that kind of that too i mean like oh yeah i mean like it's not i did meet you on the internet and go meet you that night, but most times I didn't do that.
You spent more time making sure you had a good vibe and felt safe with something. Yeah. Okay. All right. I feel like we're on this safe tangent for a long time. No, but I think it's really important. And I guess the reason I think it's important is because the first time I heard it, it smacked me in the face a lot. You know what I mean? And I think the first time I heard it or the first time I really thought about it, I think was within the last few years. You know what I mean? Yeah, because you came to me and said that. And I was like, oh, 100%. You were like, really?
That means I went through life very successful dating people, you know, being a single male and approaching couples and, you know, and unicorns and, you know, fucking all all these people and i guess i never realized that that was a thing that was so important to females when you engage but then that means you did a good job that means you gave that you made people feel that way without trying which is the goal yeah okay so let's so safety number one and then i think mental and then for sure physical right?
So you can be mentally like, I'm going to fuck this guy, but if he doesn't do the right physical things, you're not going to have an orgasm, right? Correct. Unless I take matters into my own hands. True.
All right, so I think if we're going in order of importance then for what makes you cum, safety one and then two would probably be that mental thing I don't yeah I mean mental and safety is I mean they're almost tied and I think they are tied together but but outside of let's assume you feel safe at this point what are some other mental things that you need to be right in order to enjoy yourself well it could have it could have nothing to do with a person it could just be me you know it could be anything it could something could be heavy on my mind something could i mean that that's a very low i don't know that i can just answer that that's that's like that's like digesting a woman's brain i don't i don't know i mean because it just depends you know what bothers me one day might not bother me the next day that's i mean that's the truth so i just have to be in the right headspace and and that can change and i mean i could walk in maybe and not the greatest headspace but somebody makes you feel relaxed and comfortable and shows me attention and it could put me into that headspace so i think that that is subject to the situation okay and you're right maybe that's too broad so let's maybe focus it a little bit more let's think about in either swinger scenarios or maybe when you've met up with single males and couples and stuff like that what are some things that happen in those environments that pulled you out of the right headspace so like something happens and you're like i was turned on i was wanting to fuck like getting a bad vibe from them i mean hygiene would be something that could throw everything off i mean it's like if the if it's a couple and the wife seems off or that you know like one doesn't want to be there anything like that could do that yeah i've seen that so i've even seen like maybe a girl another girl makes like an offhand comment or like a backhanded compliment or and that it'll throw you off and you're like oh yeah fuck this we're out of here we ain't fucking doing this fuck this bitch like yeah like i want them to want us to be there you know and like yeah it's the vibes off or people are i'm just not i'm not gonna it feels forced yeah i don't want to feel forced i want it to feel natural and easy what about i know for me you know when i think about this you know i've had times where i'm like this girl is fucking gorgeous yeah and then she starts talking yeah and she just says the dumbest things or like or like you said another thing for me is i need to feel like the female wants to be there yeah and wants to fuck me and there's been some times i think especially with content and stuff we are not really sure right you're like yeah are we doing this just you know this girl is fucking gorgeous and beautiful and hot and i want to fuck this shit out of her but i'm not i don't feel energy off her right i just feel like we're just here to fuck because there's cameras here yeah and really that's only happened a few times but it that throws me off right yeah for sure well you know like it's my dick has to get hard right so i have to you know and i think that's a big difference for male and females is like truly if you aren't in the right mental i could still do it right you can put a little lube on and you can be like all right let's do this you know i mean guys really cannot i mean maybe now with some of the shots and the trimex and things that are out there it might be more possible for guys to do that but i think guys being in the right headspace yeah um is super important very and not only that like wanting to be wanted and desired but i think the distraction thing gets a lot of guys too right yeah they're either worried about their their wife or they're there's too many people in the room or you know they just are getting distracted by the environment they're in and it's really hard for them to mentally focus and enjoy the thing they're trying to do well in a four-way swap like let's say you and this girl like major hit it off and i don't know if the husband is into me like maybe he is he just is not good at like showing that which i am bad about that i'm bad about showing that i'm into somebody um so i might like be weirded out because i don't think they want me and I feel like we're just doing this because it, you know, the girl wants to fuck you or vice versa.
So any of that I think can fuck with your head. Uh, no, I agree. And I think for me, that's the biggest thing, right? Is I have to feel like connection. I have to feel wanted. I have to feel desired.
I have to feel like this, this person that's about the fuck me wants to fuck me because they because they want it like and and i think a lot of times that can be the difference between i think we've all had that sex right where you're like ripping each other's clothes oh yeah we all want that you're making out when you're grabbing each other when it's like that animalistic like oh i need you fucking fuck me well i think that's how people think of swinging like when they see it in like movies and tv and stuff and that's like what we strive for but really it doesn't always happen that way so no i agree 100 uh and honestly in the lifestyle i think that especially it's funny we were talking about this right because part of our favorite play style that we talk about a is like oh these group orgies and there's a bunch of people and and that's all hot and sexy but it can be there's so many distractions it can be hard to get down to that core like i want you you want me let's fuck it's more of like a this is fun and we're all kind of playing thing than it really is a like an emotional connection where you're like got that animalistic i want to fuck you kind of yeah i agree uh okay what about confidence oh yeah are we talking about like coming like no no i'm just so like i guess i'm confused i know for you it seems like and it's maybe this is kind of to you want to feel wanted but i know i've seen guys that you're like oh he's so fucking hot and i want to fuck him but like he's so timid and shy that it's a turnoff like you know i mean like i don't like i need to yeah i mean you want him to have like a little swagger a little confidence you know you want him to want you that's a turn on yeah i know for you it's a big thing yeah it is huge yeah and it's we see it a lot in the lifestyle where there's like these really hot guys i'm saying hot guys but they are societally you look at this guy and you're like man this guy could probably fuck any girl in here but but they have just zero confidence and it kind of ruins it for them.
You know what I mean? I think girls can do the same thing. Oh, 100%. Yeah, 100%. Okay. Let's take a little break and hear from the partners and sponsors of the Swing Nation podcast. And then when we get back, let's talk about some of the physical things. That makes us come? That makes us come. Okay. All right, guys. We'll be right back. Okay. Lacey, the question we get asked more than anything else on social media is where do you find like-minded people, right? Where do you find like-minded people in your area? How do you find parties? How do you find clubs?
And the answer to that is you've got to go on one of these lifestyle websites. And one of our favorite lifestyle websites is Cassidy. And we, through our link, if you go to theswingnation.info and you scroll down and you click on the Cassidy banner, you get 90 days completely free full access, right? So don't go out and spend a bunch of money and then find out there's nobody in your area that are using that app. Come sign up through us. Completely risk-free. Get your 90-day Cassidy and start connecting with lifestyle people. Okay. I know what you're saying. It's November. About to be December.
It's Christmas time. You're not thinking about bathing suits. I get it. I'm not really either. But Slingit Bikinis is currently having a Black Friday sale. And their swimsuits are up to 60% off. I just went and looked, and some of them, like honestly, some of my favorite ones are as low as $10. I mean, come on. These bathing suits normally run like anywhere between $30 and $40, so $10 is such a steal. You can buy them now. Throw them in the drawer come March, April. Hey, we're going to Secrets in April. You'll have all your Slingit Bikinis ready to go.
And they actually even added in a few new colors and styles that are limited edition. So make sure you check out theswingnation.info for a link to Slingit Bikinis' website. You can use our code. It's listed in there. And you can get some additional money off. But it's a great Black go check it out lacy i know what you're thinking you're thinking what do you get all your swinger friends for christmas right what do they need lube and stuff they need they need lube yeah they need massage oils they need condoms they need all the naughty accessories to have some delay for that guy who like.
I can think of a few guys that need some delay spray with you. Yeah. But Promescent has all of that stuff.
So if you are looking for a stocking stuffer for your favorite lifestyle friends, couples, maybe even your partner, you can go to theswingnation.info, scroll down, click on the little Promescentive button there we're going to give you a little discount and go get some stocking stuff for your friends all right guys all right thank you for listening to our sponsors lacy loves our sponsors i do there's actually not a single sponsor that you don't buy shit from on the regular you know what's funny is i was thinking about well oh i actually really like i use whisk and sling it those are like the two ones that i buy probably the most of and i was thinking about the other day i was like even if we didn't have a podcast i would like a hundred percent still like if even if they weren't it's like i love with that much like i tell everybody that i like meet and roll out no they're all they're all great oh we love our sponsors okay so coming back you see what i did there yeah coming back to what makes you come yeah all right so we talked a lot about the mental stuff we talked about you needing to feel safe.
We talked about you needing to be in the right frame of mind, the right mental headspace. And that's 100% true. I know there's been times where you've just been like stressed out from life, whether it's, you know, money, kids, work, you know, whatever the case may be. And you're like wanting to come. Like you actually want to come. And you're just like, I just can't tonight.
Like tonight like i just i'm not i'm not there it's it's annoying as fuck to be honest with you uh and one of my things this may be a little toxic but sometimes when you're like mad at me yeah i want to make you come yeah and i when i'm mad at you and i'm like i won't give it up you get so fucking mad i do yeah yeah we're sometimes toxic when you can be a little toxic at least we're aware of it but then and this is the funny thing is there's other times when you're mad at me and you're like just fuck the shit out of me yes like let's just get over let's just fuck it out let's just yeah let's just fuck it out yeah we all feel better and then there's times that works that does and then there's other times that i'm mad at you and i'm like don't fucking touch me so like i think that's what you know so people probably heard like oh when lacy's mad at dan he tries to fuck her well yeah because it works 70 of the time it's usually not like a serious fight it's usually like we're frustrated about something else and it's kind of like like dumped over into that and if we just like shut the fuck up and like reconnect we're usually but that's the problem is i don't know like i don't either do that every time you want to do that it's probably 60 70 i don't know either but i just don't know when that 30 time is and when that 30 time happens and you don't want it you get so fucking bad when i try to do it it's a mystery you like a little mystery don't act like you don't like it okay but this is like sticking your hand in the fire to see if you're gonna get burned or not well you like the fire i don't think i like that you like the fire i don't know if i like that well you're still here yeah i'm still making you come like how i didn't like what i did there no i don't see how that tied it back okay yeah i did that was baby that was the best okay all right so back on to what makes us come now we're going to talk about the physical yeah the funny thing is we took it a little break to do the commercials and you're like how somebody physically looks isn't that important to making me come no i said i was like that's literally what you said to me well because if you if you know anything about dan and i he does like most of the work for the podcast and i just kind of sit down and like chat it up except for like events and stuff i typically keep the notes for that so i was like when we did the commercial i was like what they look like is not the most important thing so i was like i thought you were gonna ask me about like what actually makes me come like the physical act and he was like that's what the next section is it's unphysical i was like oh yeah not their physical appearance the what physically what buttons do you need pushed in order to make your little hoo-ha do the happy dance okay make my vagina dance okay vagina dance.
Okay. Your vagina. So are you asking me right now? To dance. Yeah, I mean, I guess. There's a lot. I am one. I'm very blessed to be one of those girls that can come multiple times in multiple different ways. Yeah, I think that's it. Let's pause on that for a second. Just for a second.
Because I think, you you know we get a lot of people that are new to the lifestyle that maybe they've been with one partner for a long time um and I think what happens because I was married for 13 years is guys assume that the way they make their partner come is how you make everybody come and that's 100 i can tell you firsthand of somebody that's probably made a few girls come in his life um that's not true yeah i mean i think it's the same basic buttons but the buttons are in different places they're different order they're different sizes they're different sensitivities yeah um and so you can't some girls you can finger you know you could rub their clit as hard as you want and they're going to come and it's going to be amazing for them some girls if you do that you're going to hurt them right or they're going to it's going to be too much and they're going to pull away from you um you know some girls you can fuck them hard as shit and that's going to make them squirt and come everywhere some girls if you stick your dick in there and start fucking hard as shit they're gonna jump off of you and maybe hit you you know i mean like you could they're not not all they're every girl that i've ever touched had sex with played with is a different combination of things for girls or for women i didn't realize everybody wasn't like me i just assumed all girls were like me so that was something that I also had to learn um you know one by playing with girls into watching you interact with girls and seeing how they react to like the different things yeah um but yeah I am very fortunate that I can come multiple times in multiple different ways.
So I can do like, um, penetrative, I can be, I can come from like my clit, which is really awesome. I can even come from not being touched, which I like, I used to say I was a psychic comer cause I could like, but I've seen other girls do it. Um, like Tara Michelle, she does the same thing. Like if you're in a super sexy environment and like, if you're making someone else come, it turns me on so much that I can come and even squirt without even being touched. So I'm very fortunate in that area. Yeah. So there, there's this, I'll give you one of my party tricks.
Sometimes one of the ways I like to make girls come, I don't come until i tell you you can playing with your clit whatever fingering you fucking you whatever the thing is and then i do you know like don't count you know don't come until i get to zero 10 9 8 7 6 right you will be watching me do that to somebody else and when i get to zero and they come you will come at the same time yeah and you'll probably do that half at least half the time if not more if not 70 or 80 percent of the time which is amazing yeah it's amazing to me yeah it is amazing is amazing to me. Yeah, so I'm very fortunate.
So it really, I mean, like what the guys do, I mean, that's really hard for me to say. Because I could probably be here for all day. I mean, just fucking me in the right spot, you know, in a really good way feels amazing. And I can come fingering me. I'm not a huge fan of fingering.
said it's like too pointy right yeah it's like too rough yeah it's i don't know it's something about it that i'm not but i can come and i can squirt like that too so obviously i do like it and i think i like the um thickness of yeah better um you're not really a big dildo girl though i'm not i'm not um i love a wand i like so if i'm gonna make myself come at home i use a magic wand and it can't just be any one it's got to be the blue and white the magic wand not the off-brand the real one and you like the one that plugs into the wall not even the battery charge i do like the one that plugs into yeah i just keep it next to my bed but like if we're traveling or stuff we'll use the um like little ones but you have like a tiny little one that you keep in your fanny pack that does nothing that's like a baby toy it'll make you come though you can come with it not just from that it would have to be like a sexy environment there'd have to be like a lot going on but like i couldn't go from like a vanilla setting to that and like expect to come yeah that would be i need to start we have that battery part like the the middle size one we need to start bringing that to more yeah i like that one um so i'm yeah like i said i'm i'm pretty fortunate to um to like i know some girls can only come if they're like on top and they're fucking and then they have the wand now if i'm fucking and have the wand that is my favorite we call that releasing demons that's when lacy starts making those noises and um she starts having a mini exorcism yeah and and it's a good stress relief like that that's the yeah we don't do it every time which i kind of like because i think you've literally said to me like you need to do this like more and i'm like no like yeah like this is we need to save this for no we do when you need to release demons yeah yeah and sometimes like i just need like that extra you know super duper um but yeah no i i like it but if i'm gonna come by myself at the house you know i don't finger myself i don't use a dildo i don't do any of that i just pull out that magic wand pull up some porn yeah what porn do you want um i like rough lesbian every time rough lesbian i like that um i like you make it past the for you page right yeah if i can't find anything like the first couple then i'll if i have to search then you'll search but i do like um like man and woman rough sex as well like not bdsm that's too intense for me but you know like one level below that that's what i'm into what about okay so we're talking about physical things choking hair pulling spanking i'm not a big spanking person i don't like it i it makes me want to fight um i just don't i don't like it i don't know um but yeah i like a little choking a little hair pulling you like a little spanking like don't make it hurt like you can i could go without it while you're getting fucked but i'd rather you not though i'm getting that's just such a fine line i'm just not real i would rather you like if i say spank me then spank me but i don't know if you've ever said spank and i don't think i would yeah i don't know i just think that's a hard thing some guys spank really hard and i just it's not worth it to me because it'll piss me off.
It'll piss me the fuck off, and it'll be over. So it's not worth it to me to even go down that road. But yeah, I do. I like to be roughed up a little, and that's probably in the lifestyle something that, and I get it. Guys don't want to go in when you've only played with somebody.
You don't want to go in super't want to go well you would probably want a guy you've never played with before to even try to do no no um but then there's some guys that i've played with several times and i've seen them be rough with other people and i'm like okay quit quit being so easy be a little rougher right so but choking's okay yeah hair pulling for you is usually a no because you have extensions. If you know how to do it, you know. Right. You know, some guys, if they've got a bougie wife, they know what they're doing. Yeah. So, yeah, stuff like that. And.
I'll let you do more than I would your average, like, swing your guy. Because I have that trust with you. You know. And with you, if I'm uncomfortable, I'm going to say, hey, no. Somebody else says it, and I might let them get away with a little bit more. Before you call them off. Yeah, before I call them off. Yeah. You also like when I almost push your head down while I fuck you. Yeah. I kind of push your head into the pillow. I do like that. It's like a little degrading. Yeah. I like it. Why are you turned on? A little bit, yeah.
Okay, so why do we make this about me so let's talk about you i feel like this is all me and i don't like it well the funny thing is a lot of the things that make you come are the things that make me come but just from the opposite yeah so like giving like i like being dominant yeah well i think you know all the same things but like can we fuck after this maybe yeah i don't know we gotta go to the hospital but um but they're but yeah so the similar things.
I think for me, I mean, obviously, I don't know if you're I don't know we gotta go to the hospital but um but there but yeah so the similar things i think for me i mean obviously i think most guys are guys don't this is the difference right how do you get a guy off you stroke his dick or you suck his dick right you do some kind of stroking you know mechanism to a guy and he's going to come like there there's no like there's a button here and up underneath and two inches in and to the right and on this girl it's this big on that guy you know this girl is two and a half inches in that girl is three three inches you know like there's no it's it's a dick you just stroke the dick and the guy will come right you know some guys maybe like more lube some guys maybe you know make it a little rougher a little softer but like for the most part it's the same thing for most most guys yeah i think there are you know like some guys maybe like if you play with their ass you know i've heard that like yeah like you know i've heard girls say like if you want to make a guy calm that has a hard time coming like stick a finger in his ass yeah you do that to me i'm you're i'm doing the we're gonna fight kind of thing yeah i guess my question is how do you get your finger around there when he's you like well i think it's like jerking off i think it's oh okay i'm like i don't know how you finger a guy in the ass while he's fucking i know i was always there's two people yeah for sure yeah uh you know and there i think there probably are guys more guys that like but yeah i think for guys it's all basically the same yeah but you like you said being more dominant right so in like as far as what physically makes me cum is stroking my dick right so the mental stuff you can you know like you know how to make me cum you jerk me off and then start saying some stuff about you know oh i'm gonna find you a girl to fuck and i want to see you put your big dick in her and then i'll come in like half a second but that's like dirty you know dirty talk and like being like you or you being dirty like i'm gonna be your daddy's little whore and you know like oh yeah get all the guys to fuck me and take turns with me like you start saying shit like that i feel like we're showing all of our cars it's not all we got some secret cars so that.
We got some secret cars that people don't know about. Yeah. But, yeah, to make me come, you just jerk my dick. Now, I will say it's hard for me. One, Viagra, any type of ED medication, it makes it harder for me to come. If you put me somewhere public where there's a bunch of people watching and stuff like that, I love it. I love fucking.
I love putting like i i'll fuck in front of 100 people i do don't care less the chances of me coming though are pretty fucking slim yeah and i thought that when we were talking about this that i think that's something to talk about because i i follow like a swingers reddit page and there's always people commenting like about coming like what you do with the mess like people like overthinking about it or and it's not and it's kind of across the board unless you are a guy that can have multiple orgasms which we've met a few which we've met some um most guys don't come would you say most most guys that we know of don't come in playroom public settings.
Now, you know, here's the thing. If you're in a playroom with a bunch of people, it's less likely. If you go into like a private room with just a couple couples, a little more likely, but still doesn't happen a lot or all the time. Now, you know, and then me and you in a room, you can make me come every single fucking time.
i think if you maybe just have like two couples i think you're more likely especially somebody like daphne who's made me come a ton of times matter of fact when you're tired you're like daphne come make my husband come she can maybe not she doesn't know the buttons as well as you but you know she's a little bit just a little behind you know i mean like she's done where the buttons are. Yeah, yeah. And I'm comfortable with her. She's comfortable with me. So, yeah, I think it's a lot of comfort for me to physically come. Yeah. Which is, I kind of wish I could come more. You know what I mean?
I wish it was easier for me to do that. Is that something, like, I'm trying to think.
Is that something that guys think about or worry about no i don't i maybe early on i i think girls probably worry more about it than guys do i've met several girls that are like i'm going to make you come and then you know usually i'm like good luck yeah and then after like five minutes i'm like hey it's not gonna like yeah i appreciate you like kind of uncomfortable but you have to basically tell her you're not gonna do that yeah like you know like that feels really really good and if you want to do that all fucking night i will lay here and i will fucking let you you know gag on my dick but if you're doing that because you're trying to make me come or you think that's going to happen it's probably well and her saying that is like probably doing the opposite effect anyway because right yeah because now you've kind of set the like i'm going to make you come it's like oh yeah you might have had we not but now that you're well we've met girls that are like i've made every guy fuck come or you know stuff like that yeah yeah and there i mean there are guys that come really easy i mean they're you know we've talked about premature ejaculation guys that come too quick and you know there seems like there's a lot of guys that that experience that but i will say from us being in the lifestyle and us interacting with men i can only think of maybe a handful of guys that have had the come too quick problem and honestly as a female in the last especially because most of the time we're in group settings i take it as a compliment i'm like fuck yeah right that's like a badge of honor for you yeah i'm like i made him come in two minutes yeah that's like hot to me especially like i could see if you'd been talking to a couple for two months and you finally meet them and then you plan the second day where you meet them you have dinner and you go and fuck and he comes in two minutes i get that that can be frustrating because then you and that husband are sitting around while your husband and the other the wife are fucking for hours i totally get that that makes sense but in most situations that that's happened to me it was a group setting there's 10 other guys the guy's like oh my god i'm like hell yeah i love it um so i i personally don't have an issue with it now what might be part of the problem is we might have i might come too much like to like i come every day yes usually once a day but sometimes maybe twice a day maybe once in the morning and once at night and i do that religiously almost every single day yeah so i can think of i just went um up north to new england and went deer hunting and i came back and me and you fucked and i came in like a minute and you were so mad i was pissed off i was so because like i want i needed to be fucked like i i need i had some stress i had to relieve i would and like you were like i'm coming i was like no there was nothing i could have done about that i was like that is some bullshit we're fucking i hadn't had penetrative sex in a week yeah i mean and i had jerked off probably you know a few times here and there but not every day like but yeah like for if we don't have sex you're jerking off every single day that's just kind of like sometimes we have sex and i jerk off every day yeah sometimes i'm like can you please not jerk off so we can have sex?
Sometimes I get pissed at you. I'm like, did you jerk off? I was downstairs for like 20 minutes. I'm trying to fuck later. Before bed and when I wake up are the two most likely times for me to come. It helps you sleep at night. Yeah, it does. You know, I was thinking, and this is totally off topic, but it is kind of because we're talking about cum coming. I can remember being vanilla and like females that I know get mad at their husbands for coming like that, like for jerking off. It's almost like saying they're not doing something right.
But I'm thinking, God, we would be in fights every day if that was us.
You got mad at me for jerking like some some people like don't that upsets him like how do you feel if i just make myself come does that bother you if i'm like no but i guess for us and it's i think for us it's the same is i don't jerk off and we don't fuck like usually if i jerk off it's like usually we fuck and then i jerk off you know what i mean yeah so it's not like we're not having sex for extended periods of time because we're making ourselves orgasm yeah so i can see why that would be frustrating if you're like you jerk off every day but we never fuck that would be frustrating i think for anybody and the same for me like if you were you know every night before you climb in bed use your magic wand and then roll over and go to sleep and i try to fuck you and you're like no thanks i'm good yeah that would piss me off yeah same so i guess i could see that causing a plan but honestly usually if you use your wand it's after we're done or in the morning when you want to you want to come real quick or you're staying up late watching tv and i know i'm gonna be asleep by the time you get in the bed right yeah but even then sometimes you'll go to bed you'll use your wand and come and then when i come to bed i'll come and you again oh yeah i can come i i'm i'm an equal opportunity i will not turn down yeah uh but anyway those are the ways that i come those are the ways that that you come uh i will say it for the females it's it is it's no two females are the same and and honestly the way to figure out how a girl comes is to ask her right yeah like what do you like what don't you like i've seen you do that is that too rough if it's if you know if you want more tell me you want it softer, tell me.
That's actually really going back to like vanilla type situation in relationships that I've been in. It was almost like if you told someone what you wanted, it was like that means they weren't doing a good job.
So by you coming into a situation and saying, do you like your clit do you like doing finger like what it what makes what feels good to you it's almost like inviting the criticism in a way and like seeing it's okay guide me it's not really criticism i just can't think of another word it's almost like guide me to like make this more enjoyable for you which is refreshing because most people have been raised to not feel that way but you know okay so for me making a girl come is like i have to walk into a dark room and find the button right now if i walk into a dark room and i'm looking for a button i'm eventually going to find it right i'm gonna wander around that motherfucking room until eventually i'm gonna stumble across it and i'm gonna push it and i'm gonna get your reaction and i'm gonna be like there's the fucking button right but if you can just pull out a flashlight and shine it on the fucking button and show me where it is yeah save us both some fucking time yeah i mean like i don't understand to me like why do all that right like why let me fungal bull fuck my way through this until i eventually figure it out when you can just be like the button is here and here have fun i've heard you even ask a girl like do you need a wand to come or do you need well sometimes i can tell right so i'll be fucking a girl and she'll be enjoying it but i can tell it's just not enough to get her there right so usually if that happens if i'm fucking the shit out of you for a minute or two a couple minutes and i can tell you're not quite getting there in my head that's like well you need something else so yeah sometimes i'll just say hey do you want a wand do you need a wand do you have a wand like does that help you come and and usually they're like oh yeah i got one in my bag you know i mean it's like okay well grab that shit let's yeah and that's like another thing so if you're new and you're listening to this if you're a girl that needs to come you need to have a something in your bag to take to the playroom or take to whatever like that's not anything to be ashamed of you get yours a ton of girls out there that cannot come unless they have some kind of vibrator clitoral stimulation they even have necklaces um that you can buy like at sex shops and online and stuff that are it looks like a necklace like with this long dangly and it's a vibrator you could literally wear it and everyone would think it was just like a necklace so there's there's like you can it's totally acceptable to do that right so if if you are that girl that needs that to come it is you need to get something and bring it with you to these things right yeah bring it with you to the club bring it with you just need to travel the parties and don't be afraid to tell the guy that he's fucking you and it feels good but and you want to come be like hey i got a one in my bag you know can i grab it real quick and if most guys if they i wouldn't even ask just get that motherfucker out if you're mid-stroke you might say like have it with you next to you on the bed and just pick it up.
Put it on. Okay. Well, Lacey, I think that about sums up this episode. Yeah. And all the listeners now know how to make me come. They know how to make you come. We've told all our secrets. Yeah. Well, not all our secrets. We've saved a few. All right. We've got a bunch of stuff coming up. We don't really have time to talk about it all because we went kind of long on this one. But if you want to come party with us, we've got parties coming up at Louisville in Kentucky. We're going out to Dallas, to Club Colette in Dallas, and down to Miami Velvet. So it's Tempted in December.
It's Colette, Dallas, january and it's miami velvet in miami florida in uh february so if you need dates for that if you want booking information please go to swingersociety.net swingersociety.net and check all that out we want you to come um the tempted party at uh in louisville kentucky is looking looking good i think i checked it this morning there's like 150 tickets which means that's like it's like 300 people that are already booked yeah so we only got room um like 50 more tickets or something like that so go get your tickets if you are thinking about um coming to that party go on to swingerside.net get your tickets now don't not the day of not the't text us and say, hey, guys, do you have any extra tickets?
I think the last event, there was like 30 people or something on the wait list for one of those parties. I think we have up to like 30 or 40 for our next Secrets event that are on the wait list. So don't do that. If you know you're going to go, if you think you want to go, go to swingerside.net and get your tickets today. All right. Anything else to tell the Swing Nation listeners? That's it. Happy Thanksgiving, guys. Happy Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving. Enjoy whatever side that you like, whether it's a northern or a southern treat. I hope you enjoy your Thanksgiving. Make sure you come.
And make sure you come. Come tonight. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe try one of these things we talked about. All right. I think with that, in a world full of apples. Be the pineapple. Be the pineapple, guys. Bye. Bye. If you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us, leave a five-star review wherever you're listening. If you want to see more of our content, you can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Swinger content creators on our Swinger Society Discord server.
If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at theswingnation at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to theswingnation.net and keep up to date on all things Swing Nation. We thank you so much for joining us, and we'll see you next time. Goodbye.
