Send us Fan MailThe Swing Nation PodcastSwingers Resort Review: Secrets Hideaway Resort 2021 | Episode 3In this swinger podcast episode, Dan and Lacy recap their labor day weekend at Secrets Hideaway Resort in Florida! They give a detailed review of the resort and share the naughty details of how Lacy won a prize and then demonstrated how to use it while poolside. Tune in to this episode of The Swing Nation Podcast to hear the wet and wild story!Secrets Hideaway Resort Spa_______________ - The Swing Nation - Main Website Quick Navigation Website: -- (Find all our social media links more!) Follow us on Facebook! The Podcast Website_______________ - Swinger Society - Our Website to meet, connect events Swinger Society Discord Our Facebook Group_______________ - Swinger Websites - SDCUsername: TheSwingNation** Use code 36313 for 14 days free! ** SLSUsername: NorthernGuynSouthernGirl_______________ - Merch More - The Swing Nation Merch The Swinger Pride Flags Swinger Society Merch_______________ - Lacy’s Fun Links - VIP OnlyFans PREMIUM OnlyFans _______________ -- THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS -- Shameless Care: ED Medication and at home STD testingUse Code TSN at checkout for $30 off your order! Promescent® Make Love Longer, It’s Time for Great SexUse Code SwingNation for 5% off! Pinaq Liqueur; The Official Drink of The Swing NationUse Code TSN at checkout for 15% off! Non-monogamy Couples Course and Single Guy Mastery CourseUse Code ATLANTA for 50% off!Support the show- Thank you for the support! -
Transcript
Speaker1: This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. welcome to the swing nation podcast a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to Speaker2: educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe, Speaker1: interview the experts, learn and grow together. Join the nation. Hey there, pineapple people, and welcome to the Swing Nation podcast. We are your hosts, Northern Guy and Southern Girl. In today's episode, we're going to talk about Seagrass Hideaway Resort. Yeah. Because we're here. we're here we're your host northern guy and southern girl in today's episode we're gonna talk about secret sideway resort yeah because we're we're here we're here we're currently in our room and we're it's uh what sunday morning afternoon ish it's 12 we slept late um we're still alive yeah we've survived the first the first two days so you got like a mid trip review mid mid trip review that's right yeah so i think the place to start with this is i think questions we get asked a lot is how do you how do you find a place like this yeah so um we were just told word of mouth about secrets um multiple times by people correct right yeah we have friends that come here quite often yeah and they had invited us a few times and we just could make it work we finally were able to this time but but yeah so we word of mouth is really how we found out about it okay but what if somebody else out there now knows about it or has heard about it through us or through they have a website so i booked our room so they do have a website the website could be better i'm not gonna lie just but i mean like with anything having to do with swingers it's all kind of crappy yeah it seems it seems like i don't know if it's the age bracket or what but it's websites and swinging don't usually get along no i mean it works the website works um it did what we needed um i just went on there and booked i didn't really know a lot about secrets when i booked this so i just picked a room and paid for it um so that's important so it lets you pick which room you want of the available rooms yeah right and so when you're thinking about that the way secrets is set up is kind of like a u-shape or is it a box around the pool i think it's a box so let's just talk about a like back up for just a sec this used to be some sort of hotel um we're assuming a la quinta or something like that like a motel so all the rooms are exterior rooms right well there's interior rooms no i mean they're there's the doors are on the outside yeah yeah it's not like you're going into a high-rise hotel yeah um and each room is individually owned so you can purchase a room right people own them yeah they call them condos but it's essentially a hotel room right and each room has a different theme so i mean we've seen prints we've seen tree houses what else have we saw um there was harley quinn Thank you. Each room has a different theme. I mean, we've seen prints. We've seen tree houses. What else have we saw? There was... Harley Quinn. Yeah, like a dungeon room. Harley Quinn. A tree house. I mean, they're really cool. They all have different themes. And they're all very sex-driven, too. Right. Swings hanging up in the room. Yeah. Some have the St. Andrew's cross, tie downs on the beds. Some are super modern and sleek. Some are a little bit more, I don't know, like a typical hotel room. Right. And our room is kind of the modern, right? It's almost got like the New York City skyline. Yeah. I got some pretty hot pictures of girls. Yeah. Some naked photos on the walls. so when you go to the website the rooms prices are based on where they're located and probably how much money they've spent to redo them oh so every room is a different price yeah so we are actually on the outside there's two um there's outside and there's interior rooms right because it's it's a box shape like you said and then the in the middle of the box the courtyard if you will is the pool and then and there's also a stage where they do performances and dances and stuff like that and then and then there's two bars set up inside inside the courtyard um and then also inside the playrooms are i guess rooms that they've converted that are like old conference rooms or something right that's probably what it is exactly uh and then they're they're on the interior and then there's also the little restaurant and then the club yeah so when we booked i just did the cheapest room i didn't know what we were doing so we were actually on the exterior of. And a lot of people told us that that exterior was not the place that you want to stay. That the interior was like the fun happening place. Right. I guess it depends on what you're looking for. I think the part, the reason, I think our friends recommended exterior. It's quiet back here. Because it's quiet, right? So, the interior rooms, if you're trying to go to bed at 1 o'clock in the morning there's still music bumping there's still people loud walking by your window there's you know the party is still going on yeah uh similar to like a hotel takeover if you're on the party floor yeah correct and you're trying to go to bed before the party is over good luck with that yeah yeah but we are on the exterior i don't hate it back here no i don't we're kind of exterior almost like off in a corner like you couldn't get too much further away from the party and i like it it's kind of quiet people somebody else said we were gonna have to walk really far to the pool it's like a minute and a half if that yeah maybe a two or three minute walk if that i mean it's not bad at all it's not too bad honestly now that we've done this i would say i would rather be out here just so when it's when it's more tired it's time to go to bed we can just you can also pull your car right up to your door and if you're anything like me and have a bunch of stuff that's helpful that is true the interior rooms you would have to bring your stuff you have to lug your stuff to it yeah where the exterior you can pull it up to your room. Yeah. So, but it's really cool, all the themes. So, every room has a window when you're walking by. So, you can look in and see what the theme is. Obviously, you can pull the blinds if you would prefer people not to look in. But it's really cool because you can see what each room is. I think the rooms definitely are set up for that. Like more of a voyeur. That voyeur aspect. So all the rooms have this large picture window in the front of the room. It's almost the entire wall besides the door is a picture window. And yeah, you have a curtain. Or a blind, I guess. Yeah. You have a blind. And you can either leave it up or down. And you can tell some of the rooms are definitely set up for that leaving it up because they have the showers that are all glassed in that you can see from outside the window sex swings right next to the windows so as you're walking through the resort you're you're able to look in these rooms and sometimes you get to see hot stuff yeah like people having sex or um there's been some groups that we've seen it's pretty hot yeah and people. People in the shower. I mean, all kinds of things you can see walking around here. Yeah. All right. So when you went on the website and booked the room, does it give you the themes? Yeah, it does. I just didn't know. I didn't really know what I was picking. Does that make sense? Because I didn't know anything about secrets. So I just was like okay the first room is that people walking by can you hear the party you probably can hear a little bit yeah i think there's people walking by so if you hear background noise they're partying it up here yeah still going on yeah so i just picked a room i didn't really know i didn't know about the things i didn't know about exterior interior i just picked one right but it did say something about like new york city or i don't know i don't know um i'm sure it did yeah because like some i saw on some of the rooms that you they have facebook pages for the rooms oh so it'll say like follow us on facebook hashtag secrets room 163 or something like that and then you can go and check it out more yeah i'm sure and well as we're walking by i see rooms that i'm like oh We'll be right back. secrets room 163 or something like that and then you can go and check it out more yeah i'm sure and well as we're walking by i see rooms that i'm like oh if we come back i want to stay in that one right so i'm assuming that you can go on there and pick we'll write down some room numbers or make some notes in our phone and then also to add we actually booked this three times right and i will say that secrets was wonderful to work with as far as that we booked in april and then you had to go um away on business so we had to reschedule and i called they were so kind didn't charge us anything right you didn't ask any questions they're like what weekend do you want us to move it to and they moved it no questions asked right and you didn't buy any insurance or we didn't we just booked normally yeah and then we moved it and then everybody in our family found out we were swingers and we had to kind of like button up a little bit we couldn't run off to orlando to a swingers resort so we rescheduled it again to this labor day and they were wonderful right very good good customer service yeah i really like i mean it's hard to call especially like during the day i think they're busy checking people in like i think i had to wait on hold like 20 minutes which sucks but considering they're not charging anything it wasn't bad no all right so you got us booked um we we had to move our booking around two or three times yeah um but let's talk about how to get here, arrivals, all that stuff. Well, we drove. Right. I guess you could fly into Orlando. Yeah. Probably the closest airport. I don't know if Kissimmee has an airport. No, they don't. It's the Orlando. Yeah. But I don't even know how far away Orlando is from here. We're really close. Yeah, it's pretty close. Yeah, we're really close. You could fly into Orlando. but we drove in um didn't have any problems with gps it was pretty pretty straightforward you can find it it's on ways it's on google maps yeah we actually drove separately um so i actually got here before dan right and went in and a lot of times when you're at couple things like this they you need to be together to check in. But they were wonderful. I mean, of course, I'm a female. Right. I think if a dude showed up and tried to check in and say, oh, my wife's coming, I promise. Yeah. They might be a little more resistant. Yeah. And Brandon McBride was the person that checked us in. He was wonderful. Right. Our friends told him we had a podcast. And he said, make sure you talk good about me. So we're talking. He actually was was really great like he let me have a bracelet and to go in and have a drink while i was waiting on usually about 30 minutes out so he was he was great he didn't ask any questions he was like sure come on let's get you let's get you in so right so you got your bracelet and you you went and met up with our friends and hung out of the bar for a little bit until i got in there. Yep. And then you got here. I got here. We did the full check-in. What's really cool is your room key is a bracelet. Right. It's a waterproof bracelet. That's awesome. It is super awesome because you're going back and forth to the pool. Maybe you're going back and forth to the playrooms or the club. You're not having to keep up with the key. You don't have to worry about where your bracelet is. It's on your own. Yeah. It on your own yeah it's super easy yeah yeah i almost like i kind of feel like all hotels should do this they should they really should especially like theme parks and yeah it probably is a florida thing maybe maybe um so yeah our room is pretty good we really like it um and really i haven't from walking around because we did this is one of the things we've heard about is some of the rooms are crappy right like we've heard mixed reviews about secrets let's just be honest we have some people that are like we had the worst time it was no fun we've had some people that say it's amazing so we really didn't know what what we were coming into but so walking around and looking at the rooms i don't think i've seen a bad room yet they all seem like they're i mean like you said this is it seems like it used to be a la quinta or some kind of motel it looks like a holiday yeah i don't know maybe this was purpose-built that a long time ago but i don't think so it seems like they've converted it from something yeah um but the rooms have all been redone fairly nicely i mean ours has tile nice tile floors and it's painted pretty new. All the decor is nice. Some are completely, like, super fancy. I'm sure you're paying for that, and some are a little bit more reasonable. Yeah, and they have a lot of those swinger LED lights and red lights and blue lights. Yeah, swings. Swings, and yeah, so most of the rooms kind of have a swinger vibe to them. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, for sure. So, but yeah, we, we've heard big reviews, so we just didn't know what we were walking into. Right. So overall, I think check-in, booking, room quality. I thought it was great. I thought it was great. All those are solid. I think it is good insider advice, the inside rooms versus the outside rooms. Just depends on what you're looking for. Right. If you want to, if you're going to be partying all night and you want to be in part of the party inside rooms are probably the way to go if you want to be able to sneak away and go to bed and not have to worry about music bumping and keeping you up all night uh outside rooms i think that if we came back i would i would opt for an inside room so we could get both experiences check it out yeah yeah but realistically i outside room. That's my inkling, too. Yeah, but if you're only here for three nights and this is what you're here for, who cares if you stay up half the night? That's kind of the point. We kind of did anyway. Yeah, we did. So far. Yeah. Okay, so we're checked in. We're in our room. What's next? I guess talk a little bit about the facilities. So I think that first night, we got here kind of late right yeah eight nine o'clock i think by time by time we got checked in and in the room um so we spent a little time got our room together um so i guess it is worth mentioning the room does our room at least has a refrigerator yeah has a little sink you know has a shower um our friend's room had had a swing in it yeah it had a a big shower um eight person shower yeah you can fit eight people we tested that out coincidentally yeah um but uh yeah so we got checked in and then i think we went out to the bar next we got do we get straight ready for the club and just went yeah and then we went out yeah we got ready because it was late it was the time for the club so we got ready and went out and um we we actually ate remember we had dinner all right so let's talk yeah so what we did is we went got some food because we were hungry so let's talk a little bit about the food arrangement if i had one critique of secrets it's the food situation yeah so the way they way they do food, and I thought, and maybe they've changed this. They have. I think they have changed it since COVID, right? Well, first of all, let me say this. I think I came in with an assumption without actually checking in. I assume we've been to Paradise Valley in Georgia. We, you know, we're going to Hedo. A lot of the food is all included in those. And I just assumed, because this is kind of the same concept, that food would be included. Not just those places. It seems like even the clubs and, you know. Yeah, trapeze, you eat there. Yeah, it's like they have buffets around certain times, you know, and you can go get in line and get food. It's just easy because once you're here and you're drinking, the last thing you want to do is leave and go get food right so i just and from my understanding prior to covid they did have buffets right and i've heard something about the breakfast buffet there's good or something yeah yeah but let's talk so currently their food situation is they have like a almost like a wedding tent i guess you would say set up inside the courtyard off kind of in the middle between the playrooms and the club. And you can sit down and eat. You can also order to go.
Speaker3:
Right.
Speaker1:
You can also order food at the pools.
Speaker3:
Right.
Speaker1:
There's waitresses that walk by.
Speaker2:
Next you can order at the bars.
Speaker1:
It's not bad food.
Speaker2:
No. So it's the typical, it's almost like.
Speaker1:
Like a poolside bar, typical food. Right. so they got burgers pizza wings yeah um you know chicken sandwich yeah it's not anything to blow you away it's decent food it'll work but we just assumed that there would be like a buffet at lunch right i thought there was gonna be some kind of included buffet but it's not it's you got to order the food the prices aren't ridiculous they're a little expensive just like any kind of pulls that ball. Right, I thought there was going to be some kind of included buffet, but it's not. You've got to order the food.
Speaker2:
The prices aren't ridiculous.
Speaker3:
No.
Speaker2:
They're a little expensive.
Speaker1:
Just like any kind of poolside ball.
Speaker2:
Right, I think a burger is like $12 or something like that.
Speaker1:
We did end up ordering DoorDash last night, though.
Speaker2:
Right, and that seems to be what everybody here does.
Speaker1:
And it wasn't bad. It took them 30 minutes. It was fairly quick.
Speaker3:
Yeah.
Speaker1:
Yeah, so the only thing is the DoorDash people can't come to your room, obviously, because there's shenanigans going on. So you have to go up to the front desk and meet the DoorDash person, and they'll give you your food. But they seem like they're super used to that, no problems there. Yeah, it was fun. It was good. We had a nice, we had Chipotle for dinner. It was very yummy. Yeah. We should order some more of that or something like that. Yeah. Okay, so that's the food situation. that would be my one critique of of secrets i wish the food was a different situation but i get covid we get it no problem you know if that's the worst thing that's happened in here we're good right and then so bars there's two two bars exterior in their exterior it's almost like a what's the word like a pavilion or something yeah and a lot of swinger thinks it's BYOB. Right. It is not here. No, you can have alcohol in your rooms. Yeah. But they are very serious about when you, if you bring a, because most, a lot of swingers is kind of a thing to bring a tumbler that has your name on it or whatever, which we've seen some really cool tumblers here. Super, super done up to the nines. But, so they have the inner courtyard. You bring any alcohol what's gated right yeah you can you know there's several ways to get in but they have it gated off and they actually put people to watch the gates yeah the different doors in the gates and then they will make you pour your cup out there's one security checkpoint that you have to go through and if you were walking in with a cup they will have you you know they want to look inside it they want you to dump it out yeah um and my understanding is that's they have to do that to protect their liquor license yeah the way i understand it which makes sense if they lost their liquor license this would not be the same right i'm sure it's something that well i don't know if there's no miners here though yeah i don't know i don't i don't know the rules exactly but they're very very strict very strict about that yeah yeah which is which is fine yeah um so then you the bartenders are awesome right i took a shot off the bartender last night out of his belly button i've never done that that was the first time how was that i mean i thought he was gonna have a six-pack i mean he looks pretty buff yeah he's definitely so i thought when he'd pull his shirt off he'd have like a six-pack and it wasn't so much but i mean he looks pretty buff yeah he's definitely so i thought when he'd pull his shirt off he'd have like a six pack and it wasn't so much but i mean it was fun okay it was fun well good babe did i do a good job you did a good job doing the belly button somebody else paid for it so you know it's a win-win right it's a win-win yeah so there's the two pavilions on either side of the courtyard um and then there's they three or four bartenders. It can be a little difficult to get a drink when it's busy. Yeah, but they've definitely done a good job of hiring very attractive staff. Like their bartenders are all like really handsome or hot. Yeah, mostly guys. Mostly guys. And then they have dancers, like almost like entertainment staff. Go-go dancers? I guess. I don't know what the term is, but're gorgeous they're beautiful oh my god like i just want to sit there and watch them yeah at least she almost decided that she wasn't in the dudes anymore yeah oh my god they're so pretty and i think they also are strippers at night i mean my understanding they definitely have that skill set if it's not but they have like a body like a gymnast like you can tell they literally danced all day long yeah i mean from like 10 a.m to 2 a.m yeah they were dancing and they didn't stop i mean those girls were dancing they were gorgeous and i don't think we've ever been anywhere that they have like a staff yeah i think it's kind of fun because it keeps it, you know, it encourages other people to dance. It kind of keeps it sexy. Yeah, it was fun. Yeah, it was fun. It's hot to watch. And it's mainly around the pool
Speaker3:
area.
Speaker1:
That's where we saw most of them. They were dancing. Well, they'd get up on the bar
Speaker2:
and they would actually hang from the gondola thing around the bar. Yeah, I mean, it was very
Speaker1:
impressive. Yeah. I was entertained. Right, so that's the bar situation um well let's maybe next talk about the club or you want to talk about the pool let's talk about the pool yeah the pool um so apparently they had two pools they've recently covered one i think it had something to do with covid i'm not really sure right they covered one and turned it into a stage yeah which has live music i actually really like that concept because if you're not someone that's super into the club scene, you can sit outside and listen to live music. Friday night they had a band. Like a country band, was it? Yeah, but not like super country. Saturday night they had a DJ and then they had a Prince impersonator, which was quite entertaining. They had fire breathers. Yeah, I think some of this might be because it's Labor Day weekend. Maybe. They might have done it up a little more than normally, but they definitely put on quite a show. The dancer girls did a whole routine. It was very hot. Yeah, I've never been anywhere where they were fire breathers. Yeah. So what I like about that is if you're not into the club scene, you sit outside and listen to live music and drink and there are still smoking i mean because you're outside so if that's more of your scene then you have that but if you're wanting more of like a club scene the club was really good well let's talk about the pool let's talk about the pool i'm sorry okay no you're fine so we got sidetracked with the music and the dancing. Sorry. We're talking about the one pool. Oh, yeah. Sorry. Sorry. It's okay. No, you're good. You're good. So I think the one downside about that pool being covered and turned into. There's only one pool. There's only one pool and it's not a huge pool. It's not. And I'll be honest, the water was like a hot tub. I think the water has to be almost 100 degrees. I mean, because there were so many people. Right. It's also, you can do anything wherever you want here. Right. There are no, so like Paradise Valley, you know, it's a nudist pool. But there's no, you can't have sex. You can't, you know, there's no. You're basically just naked in the pool. Right. Here, it's a free for all. Here, there are no rules. And some people probably don't like that, right? Oh, I don't know. Because there are probably some concerns about people having sex in the pool and stuff like that. Well, then they're in the wrong place, in my opinion. But nobody asked me. But that definitely is happening here. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, but now I say that, I was surprised that it wasn't more. No, it really isn't. Most people are too shy to do that. There are people that you can tell that are into that, and they do do that. We had sex in the pool. We had a little sex in the pool, yeah. Yeah, I had sex with someone else in the pool. You did do that also. There's a little insider information there. Yeah. But I like the pool area. There's two hot tubs. The two hot tubs, yeah. So they have pool chairs have cabanas. Cabanas. That you can rent all around, which for something like Labor Day weekend, it was, we had one yesterday, we had one today. We split it with some friends. It was kind of nice. It's nice to have, I mean, it does seem like seating area is limited. They're not cheap though. Yeah. And the cabanas, honestly, because our friends booked it, I'm 100 sure how it works today's was 300 because we split it right and then you have to buy two bottles of alcohol right so it can be a little pricey no alcohol is expensive yeah because we're here but yeah but it is it is a nice feature to be able to go sit down in the shade and you have couches and chairs and waiters will come up to you part is nice. Yeah. All right. So that's the pool. So the only complaint is the pool is kind of small. Yeah. It did get a little crowded at times. It did. The water was. Extremely warm. It was not cool and refreshing to get in the pool and get out. At all. We actually think at one point we had to come back to the room just to kind of, like, get some AC and cool off for a little bit. Yeah. If you saw my Snapchats, I was pretty tipsy. Yeah, somebody had a few drinks. She needed a little nap, too. I needed to cool off. Right. All right, so now you started to talk about the club, aren't you? Okay, so yeah, so we were told that the club was not the place to be, that it's mainly the pool area, so not to overly think the club, but I liked it. Yeah, the club is kind of it's kind of fun it's small it's small it's definitely um like a younger vibe type of club they have they have the dancers in there they have a dj oh there's a bar in there so that's three yeah um it like every so often they let off like this cool steam what would you call that yeah i don't it's almost like like a like a fog machine but it's it's nice because it's cool yeah and there's air conditioning in there and we're in florida and it was getting hot in there um but they played really good music i liked it yeah no the club is all right i think my so comparing it to other swinger clubs typically the ones that we've been to at least it's like you have the club area and then the play area is like directly behind or you know somewhere where you have access to the playrooms from they're separate right so here because it's an old hotel motel whatever you have to leave the club area and i almost did they build that you think yeah i think they built they added that club area yeah and so you have to leave the club area and then go to the play area yes they're definitely separate it's not super far away but then it's the whole thing we'll talk about the player in a minute i guess but yeah so that little complaint would be that those those aren't tied together you can't transition from one to the other without going outside and through the pool area yeah but it kind of like normally trapeze and places like that they just have like a dj that probably like works a nine-to-five during the week and then djs not like here i feel like that guy's a dj but he knows what he's doing yeah it was dev the music was really good right yeah some swinger clubs and places we've been the djs i think are volunteers or something yeah and they also had to play to a large variety of ages so you have to make everyone happy but this was they did a good job i liked it they didn't yeah the club was good yeah it was good a little crowded a little hot yeah um the bathrooms were broken a couple times during the night yeah at least the male bathroom and so then you had to go all the way out of the pool area and into the hotel lobby to use the bathroom. And that was kind of a pain in the butt. Yeah, I was surprised that I liked it. Overall, the club was pretty good. So we did not go to the playroom on Friday night. We just went back to some friend's room and played there but we decided last night that we were going to go i mean for science for research for y'all we figured since we're
Speaker2:
going to talk about this on our podcast we might as well experience the full uh everything yeah
Speaker1:
um we had never been to a playroom that you have to take off all your clothes this was our first one right so trapeze you have to do that where have to take off your clothes and put a towel on in the normal size side of trapeze atlanta but in the vip club where we normally upgrade to you don't have to do that yeah so you had to completely take everything off and just have a towel right and uh i think when we we tried to go into the playroom first and there was like a line of people and they were out of towels i believe and they were waiting for lockers so we just said forget it right we just ran back to our room right dropped everything right so you can only go in essentially with a towel that's all you can wear into the into the club yeah um so we went back to our room we got dropped all our stuff and got a towel and then we just walked right in yeah um and there's so the way their playrooms work is it's broken down into two sides and i actually think on there's like a dungeon bdsm side and then there's like a normal typical swinger playroom i was shocked by the bdsm room i had not heard anybody mention it i didn't know it was there we turned the corner and i was like holy what did we just walk in i think you thought it was the playroom yeah i thought i've never seen a playroom like this i'm like well this is maybe i think this is the bdsm yeah at the dungeon so it was cool though i'd never seen that and i actually think on that side you could wear clothes you could we just didn't realize it um but it was fine because we were right already done so they had all the things they had cages they had uh the floggers the saint andrew this. So they had all the things. They had cages. They had the floggers. The St. Andrew's crosses. They had some beds that were on chains and then had the kind of floating beds that had mirrors around them and had the little tie-down spots. They had almost like instructors or workers. Yeah, they have. So it's very typical of dungeons to have dungeon guests or whatever you call it where it's they're like safety people and they also will help and give instructions and stuff that people are trying to learn how to do new things so they they did have a staff inside yeah up there at least two or three people i'm curious what training the staff did they just apply and they're like you're going to the dungeon yeah i don't know i'm curious I'm curious of that. I don't know how you. They seem professional. They seem to know what they were doing. I'm not judging. I just was curious. Like, how do you apply for that job? Right. I've been to a few dungeons, and that's very typical. And I don't know how exactly they get that. But all the dungeon masters, or whatever they call them, do seem to be very, very knowledgeable. That one guy definitely knew how to use a flogger. Oh, yeah. That was, yeah. Yeah, so that's the, anything else on the BDSM side? We didn't really stay. We really just kind of walked around and looked. They had rules on the wall. Very clear rules. Yeah. Do this, don't do that. And very typical of dungeons, you have to be doing a kink, right? You have to be doing something BDSM. You can't just go in there and start fucking. Right, you just can't go in there and have normal, you know, I don't want to say vanilla sex, but normal. Yeah, you can't just go in there and have right you just can't go in there and have normal you know i won't say vanilla sex but yeah you can't just go in there and have sex it's got to be some kind of bdsm which is typical in that lifestyle yeah so we found our way to the other playroom right so then that other you know so that there's like a that greeting desk with the towels and the ladies that you know make sure you never follow the rules as you come in. You can either go right or left. And right was the dungeon. And then left is your typical swingers. Yeah. They had showers. I've never seen that. But now they probably have that at Trapeze. We just don't ever go in that area. I don't know if there is. But there is like basically just like one giant community shower. Yeah, it's like a giant group shower. And the water's just on. Yeah. So that's where you can go to rinse off the water was nice it was warm oh it's perfect it must have been like i don't know 15 20 shower heads yeah it was nice um so yeah so we just kind of walked through the playrooms it's your typical playroom that we've seen i was impressed though for it to probably been a conference room at some point they did a very good job the drapery. There's lots of beds. Probably more beds than we've seen in a lot of beds. Yeah, one big area with bed. There was a hallway that you could walk down. It looked like we couldn't go down there because somebody had had too much to drink. Right. And got a little sick. They puked back there. So, they were cleaning it. But it looked like it was almost like a movie theater. A movie theater, yeah. Yeah. And then like smaller, like kind of more private playrooms. Right. So there was, yeah. So as you walked into the playroom, in the middle was like, I don't know, eight or ten beds all pushed together with kind of that sheeny curtains hanging around them. Yeah. and then on the exterior walls was closed room doors yeah now some of those closed room doors had windows in them yeah mirrors some of them did not we peeked in a couple of the rooms they all kind of had a different theme like yeah 70s 80s there was one mirror room um i was impressed i was genuinely impressed with the playroom i again we were told don't go in the playroom don't bother it's just okay and i was impressed yeah i think it was glad we went honestly if you had i mean i guess it depends on what you're into but if you like being watched and doing stuff in a public setting that definitely and like a little bit of back about me i love that right like honestly like i know we're swingers and we're here to like find couples and swap but like to me like just laying me out on a bed and just giving it to me with everybody watching is like my kink right that's kind of that's exactly what we did last night yeah that's really all we did last night yeah yeah we went in um and we just had sex on the big community bed in front of everyone. And they watched no one. You know, when you go on a community bed, you're basically giving the okay for people to come close to you. Or approach you. Approach you. Right. Obviously, there's consent with everything, so someone's not just going to, like, hop in. Right, but it's routine for people to come up to you and say, is it okay i touch her yeah and no one did nobody did that i don't know why i don't know why i don't know but i liked it i didn't i was i was about you sometimes when you do that in a public setting it can become like almost too much like yeah 20 people come up to you and ask if they can join well and the lights are low you can't really see what you know i know, I mean, like, you want to be like, hold on. Let me look at you. Is this going to work? I mean, I just don't want random people touching me.
Speaker2:
Right, and rejecting people is always awkward.
Speaker1:
Yeah, so I'd almost, if I'm going to do something like that, I'd almost like to meet them outside of the playroom, and then we know we're going to the playroom.
Speaker2:
Absolutely, it's nice to work up to that.
Speaker1:
Yeah, instead of just, like, being in the room and then people joining in.
Speaker3:
Right.
Speaker2:
So that's kind of the playroom. Anything else about the playroom? The showers were nice. They have lockers. Thank you. to that yeah instead of just like being in the room and then people joining in right so that's kind of the playroom anything else about the playroom the showers were nice you do have to wear a towel there are lockers i think you had to rent the lockers we didn't do that we just went by the pool and dropped our stuff by the pool oh so that's another thing i guess we haven't mentioned is people can come here on a day pass you don't have to have a room they don't have to be booked so there are day pass people here and so the lockers and things like that would probably more meant for them but to drop their stuff and have a place to keep it um what else so that's pretty much it for the playroom so we talked about the lobby and check-in that was all great we talked about the pool it's kind of small kind of hot we wish it was bigger how about food right now they did have some i guess we're jumping back a little bit, but the poolside entertainment was kind of fun.
Speaker1:
Oh, I won a contest.
Speaker2:
Do you want to talk about your contest?
Speaker3:
Yes.
Speaker1:
So, they have like kind of like an inner, like a-
Speaker2:
What is his name?
Speaker3:
Mark.
Speaker2:
The Mohawk Mark. He's very good. I guess he's with Topless Travel.
Speaker3:
Yeah.
Speaker2:
He's the host or something like that.
Speaker3:
Yeah, he's the host.
Speaker1:
And I think that might have been his girlfriend that was with him. Yeah, she was very cute. Yeah, they were all cute. They were like the entertainment. And so it was really cool because, you know, he would go around, talk on the microphone. They would walk around and give people shots. Yeah, they'd come around with shots and just dump it in people's mouths or on people. There was games, all kinds of stuff. So they had a game a game they're like we need all the women up here i didn't know what i was signing up for no they just said when we need volunteers right yeah and i'm not normally like a volunteer get in front of the crowd nobody else was so me and sarah friends sarah we were like we're let's do it so the game was he had these like little rubber chicken thing rubber cocks rubber cocks right and you the girls hold a fishing net net and the guys are everybody in the pool throws the cocks in their basket now yeah so the cocks are these little rubber chicken cocks you can always shoot them they're meant to go on a finger and be shot almost like an elastic band i guess yeah um so the idea was the girls all stand on the edge of the pool behind the the grass line they kind of had there yeah and then they just threw rubber cocks to everybody in the pool just and there was a lot of people randomly to people and then the idea is everybody in the pool then shoots these rubber cocks at the girls whoever catches the most cocks is the winner i actually think they had two because there's so many girls there's like what eight girls or ten we know we just yeah so we did one round of all of us and then the top three got to go to the second round right so me and our good friend sarah she got in it and then another lady right so the first round um We didn't cheat Not the first one
Speaker2:
But we kind of cheated
Speaker1:
Well, Dan get a bunch of the costs and so i just kind of like held my thing and let him throw and then i got as close to her as i possibly can could and then i just threw all mine into her yeah but to be fair a lot of the other girls were doing the same oh yeah everybody was in front of their spouse right right so all the spouses were in on it and kind of doing the same so we weren't really cheating but i think i managed to get more cocks well and i might have had a little advantage because we had a lot of people recognize us here from tiktok and snapchat and so they were all kind of rooting for me i mean honestly i probably didn't catch many of them because I was not a very good catcher. It's more we dunked it like a basketball hoop. Correct. Yeah, I just held it out and wished for the best. But yeah, so I probably had a little bit of an advantage there too. So round one, all three of you got 14. So it was like a three-way tie. So they let us do a second round. Right. And at the end of the second round. This is where competitive Lacey. Who's had a lot to drink. Came out a little bit. And I stole some of Sarah's. Right. So if initially looking at the cock count in the nets, it looked like the other girl, not Sarah, not Lacey. Had won. Probably had won. so what lacy did is reached behind the other girl's back into sarah's net grabbed a handful of cocks from her net and put it into her own yeah and so i won i had 31 cocks you had 31 and honestly i think the other girl only had 20 something, I don't know how many you actually took out of Sarah's mat. It was a handful.
Speaker3:
I don't know.
Speaker2:
It may or may not have made the difference. I think it might have. I would lean towards it probably did.
Speaker1:
So, I won a cordless wand, which I was pretty excited about. That thing's like $100.
Speaker2:
Yeah, it's one of those. What's the brand?
Speaker3:
Hitachi.
Speaker2:
Yeah, it's not a Hitachi.
Speaker1:
But if you know what a Hitachi wand is, that's what this is. It's just a cordless kind of... I have one, but mine is corded. Right. Back from my unicorn days. Right. Someone bought it for me. So I was pretty pumped, and apparently Sarah had won one of those here before, so she was cool with it. She didn't care that I cheated. She was down with it. Well, yeah. It was like a group effort. Right. But, somehow, from point A to point B, the host, Mark, said, whoever wins has to demonstrate it. Right. In front of everyone. He almost, like, tied that in as, like, you don't win unless. Yeah. To actually win, you have to. I think they must sell. He must somehow rep the brand. There's a gift's a gift shop they have a ton of them right so secrets must sponsor this toy brand or something and i said okay i kind of thought that i would go like after it was over i would sit on the side of the pool and come in front of everybody that's not what happened y'all that's what you thought would happen yeah oh like on my terms okay he pulled up a lawn chair right right there like a beach chair right on the side microphone in my face and the two sarah and the other lady that i i weaseled out of her winning that you stole from you stole from her made me come in front of everyone with a microphone in my face so everyone could hear i squirted all over everything is that too much for a podcast i mean i you know we try to keep this we're sorry mom but that's Ha pretty hot uh and then after that we took turns they cleaned the toy and let everybody try it yeah not everybody the three of us that one well that won. Well, no. No. So, you tried it. Then that other girl that you stole from. No. Sarah, they broke out that other thing. Yeah. Sarah got to try a different toy. It was like a snail. Right. So, obviously, they're trying to get people to buy. Promote them. So, they brought out this toy that I've never seen. They sell them in the gift shop. We might should purchase one. What did they call it? The snail. It's a snail. Yeah. And essentially, to describe this describe this it's a dildo but it's almost like a paper clip shape not a paper clip a clothespin yeah and the the top part is very it's like wound up like a snail so as you enter it pushes up and then it goes on your clit so as you insert this ball stays on your clit and. And it will roll up and down as it goes in and out. So the vibrator stays right on your clit as you receive penetration. Yeah. Which looked hot. Yeah, I did. Sarah seemed to enjoy that. Yeah, like I kind of want to buy one. So let's talk about the gift shop. There is, in the front line being, there is a shop that you can purchase secret shirts which i'm going to get one before we leave there is also a gift shop that has um a little bit of everything they have clothes so like if you got here and you left your outfit you could buy something they've got bathing suits they've got men swim trunks um they have vibrators they have paddles um like literally a little bit of everything they have sex wings you'll have to go up there with me so it's really cool i kind of felt like their prices are a little overpriced but if you're here and you need something it's convenient you don't have to go we were talking to a couple last night and her her heels broke on the way yeah so they had to go buy a pair of shoes they were 80 bucks but they do sell like the pleasers that like stripper heels they do have those so it's cool because like maybe you get here and you wasn't sure what what you needed to wear what you should do um you wanted to spice it up you could go in there and get stuff right yeah it is handy to have that should we talk about like the themes and like kind of what the um attire is because you know everybody always asks me no yeah go ahead so um pool side it's really anything that goes um you can wear bottoms you can be completely nude i usually wear bottoms in like a cute little tank top yeah so i would say the typical most girls were probably wearing some kind of thong bottoms and no top and i prefer that some places make you go completely nude but i don't know i prefer to have bottoms on right there isn't you for the pool side there you can wear as much there was people with like one pieces on so yeah you can you can really wear whatever you want um at night it is definitely club wear but again a little bit of everything people are out there in like bathing suit type thing yeah and i don't think they had a it's not like you had to have a collared shirt no no i think you could have got in in your swim trunks in a tank top yeah dan was definitely probably the more casual that you've ever been in a swinger event he wore shorts and like a button up the front shirt both nights um the first night i wore like a sheer dress the second night was schoolgirl so i wore a schoolgirl outfit i'd say what half the people were in theme yeah it wasn't everybody yeah um so it's very casual compared to a lot of the other places that we go to yeah you can do it up as much as you want and not if you don't which i guess makes sense for the whole pool kind of yeah it's more of a laid back vibe yeah all right what else so what so let's see so the first day we went to the bar went to the, went back and played with our friends. Yeah, in their room. They have a cool mirror above their bed. If you were on our Snapchat, you got to see a little bit of that. You got to see a little bit of that. Oh, if you're on Snapchat Premium, not regular. OnlyFans, there's some of that made it on there. Yes, if you want to watch that, go to OnlyFans. Yeah. So that was the first night yesterday it was we got up went to the pool yeah really hung out in the cabana in the pool all day yeah had some naughty fun in the in the pool there was naughty fun off and on in the pool um we came back ate went to the club and then me and you went to the playroom yeah just just the two of us yeah that was oh no we missed uh so after the pool we had that was when the shower happened oh we forgot that so we found two couples us and our friend and then two additional couples right and we went back to their room and we had like an eight person was actually nine there was yeah there's nine um because one of the guy's wives had taken a nap so he joined in um but there was nine of us in their showers right so those couples were day past people
Speaker2:
um and one of them was like i need to shower before we go to the club and so our friends were like well we have a giant shower we can all go shower at the same time so we're like oh let's do it yeah i think it sounded hotter than it eight nine people was too much for that shower No were like, well, we have a giant shower. We can all go shower at the same time. So we're like, oh, let's do it. I think it sounded hotter than it. Nine people was too much for that shower.
Speaker1:
It sounded better in theory. It was still really hot.
Speaker2:
It was still hot to be nine people in the shower, showering.
Speaker1:
Kissing, rubbing. It was definitely a soft swap kind of situation.
Speaker3:
Yeah.
Speaker1:
And then we separated. Like me and Dan left the shower. There was a few times where like the hot water got bumped and we all got like scolding yeah then it got bumped the other way and it was all cold it got a little awkward like in porn it sounds amazing but in real life it was mediocre yeah there was a few it was hot to have like that many bodies and like people kissing and stuff it that was hot i did like that um so that was that and then saturday night you and i went to the playroom and so today's our day we came back changed and then we went out to the club and then me and you ended up in the playroom with each other which was great yeah um and now it's sunday we just woke up yeah like we slept late 30 minutes ago we're a little hungover yeah but uh i think what's the plan today is we're gonna go out hang out it's pretty much same as yesterday yeah same as yesterday hang out at the cabana hang out at the pool and then eventually make our way probably come back eat and then go to the club yeah but overall i i like secrets yeah i think overall i think secrets is a good it's a good alternative to leaving the country uh yeah and honestly it's probably one of the younger i think we can talk a little about demographics for sure i mean i think you you have again like any swinger club any swinger event any swinger place you have from 20 years old to 80 years old right um but it is a much younger crowd than we're ever used to right i would say the average age is probably lower than most of the swinger places and very attractive which i guess kind of makes sense because it's more of a it is a club party kind of vibe yeah but um and it's really affordable i think our room was like 568 or something like that for a long weekend you can't beat that i mean really to go and get now there is the additional charges for the club and they hit you with like another 200 yeah here but still considering how much we pay to go to hito in jamaica this is a fraction of the cost i would say probably for the four day weekend everything if we counted food drinks everything we're probably close to spending a thousand dollars which isn't isn't terrible no but not not cheap either yeah it's kind of middle of the road yeah but yeah i was definitely shocked by the crowd very young very attractive and and i also like that it's all races there's not it's not like all white people or all black people or it's very mixed across the board yeah we that the cuban guy last night in the hot tub was trying to talk to you oh yeah his english isn't he was a i always love it when people come up to you and they start to spot speaking english and they're like i'm sorry my english is not very good it's like you're i don't yeah you're speaking two languages that's super impressive to me yeah yeah it's okay that but i really like that because you know sometimes when you stick to your smaller areas it everybody looks the same it's kind of fun to step out and see a variety and this definitely does seem almost like a destination where people come from all over yeah i say quite a few of the people we met were local but there is also a lot of you know we met people from louisiana and mississippi and ohio and there's people from all over here yeah yeah so i've been i was very impressed i would totally come back here i would totally come back here i honestly think we probably will come back yeah yeah for sure i think probably a long weekend or something yeah it's too much for a drive for us to come for like a saturday night yeah um yeah what else else? Anything else we didn't talk about? I think that's it. What do you want to talk? Let's go a little. Let's do a recap. Of our week. The week. So, if you follow us on all of our platforms, you know that we got TikTok banned again. So, last week, we literally said, oh, we know at any point this TikTok can come down. Did we jinx ourselves by that i don't know it did it was like the next day right so um our account lasted a total of 30 days exactly we had about 175 000 followers was the last time i looked before it was shut down um tiktok girl christina was shut down on wednesday and we were like oh no we hate that for you Thursday I got up was taking my son to school in the car rider line I thought let me check everything and I logged into Snapchat and I got a hard warning and I was like dang you know they didn't shut it down they were like hey you need to be careful re-agree to the terms and conditions. I did that. And the next thing I did was log into TikTok, and it was like, you've been banned. Yeah. And then you appealed. Yeah. And it was denied. Yeah. Which I don't – it's hard for me because I don't – you had, what, maybe one video get taken down? Yeah. The entire time? So we don't know what happened because Christina was was taken down on wednesday ours were thursday did somebody just decide to start reporting stuff i don't know um it was it's frustrating but i will say that we've handled this one better than we have any of the others like before we were like down for a week we're like no we're so sad yeah i think i think within two hours i had a new tiktok right we're we we know what's the deal is of course what happened though tiktok's not going only fans kind of dipped for sure yeah yeah that again like we talked about last week when when we lose tiktok it we lose Yeah, and our podcast, it came out that day. So our podcast numbers have not been what they were after the first episode. So we've been kind of pushing that. So thank you for listening to this.
Speaker3:
Thank you.
Speaker2:
Please leave a five-star review to get that.
Speaker1:
Yeah, please leave a five-star review. We really would like to see it do well. We hate that TikTok kind of dangles us in the air. Right we're at their mercy yeah it's very frustrating but we have a new tiktok we have like 8 000 followers right swinging southern girl 2.0 2.0 and it'll be i'll adjust that in the show notes yeah um so yeah i mean but we knew with coming to secrets this, we literally had to go from, we had to just turn it around. There was no time to be sad and frustrated. We had to just keep going.
Speaker3:
Right.
Speaker2:
Any other, what else has gone on this week, between last week? I mean, that's probably the biggest news is TikTok getting shut down.
Speaker3:
Yeah.
Speaker1:
I think that's it.
Speaker3:
That's it.
Speaker1:
My dad found out we were swingers.
Speaker2:
Your dad found out? How did he, how did he take that?
Speaker1:
My dad's in his 70s, so we had kind of, my mom knew, everybody else knew, but we had it my dad found out we were swingers your dad found out how did he my dad's in his 70s so we had kind of my mom knew everybody else knew but we had my dad's obviously not like on social media really so we had just kind of chose to not mention it to him because you know he's 70 he's not in the greatest health um it's also your dad you know somebody told him he had one of my family members saw the tiktoks and and told him and he called me and asked and my dad's you know southern in his 70s and his exact words were leslie are you and dan swangers and i was like yeah dad we are he's like okay and i was like okay i love you and that was it yeah my dad is very much like an old hippie free spirit kind of you know if my dad could still do all the things he would probably be doing right he's probably trying let's just be honest he's probably looking into it now yeah um so um so i never thought that he would be angry with me or anything like that i just um just prefer you didn't know yeah i just prefer you didn't know and he even called yesterday to check in on us he knew we were in orlando which has also been like a different um feel we normally sneak off and go to places like this right now this time everybody knows where we're at everybody knows where we are and what we're doing my mom texts like have fun like in like hearts like oh my god like i want to die that is a little awkward yeah yeah but she's just trying to be supportive yeah um so my dad called yesterday and he was like how's my favorite son-in-law so he still loves us he's not mad you know he's probably like gonna high-five dan when next time dan sees him but it's funny because i think that's it's everybody right the first they're shocked yeah right and then they're concerned about us and our relationship and then they're curious yeah it's kind of the three stages of yeah a swinger uh outing i guess yeah but it's been it's overall i mean even considering our tiktok got taken down it's been a good week a great week. Yeah. Yeah. We have a busy next few weeks coming up with just like real life stuff, not necessarily swinging stuff. And then our next big trip is Hedo.
Speaker3:
Right.
Speaker1:
We do have one weekend free towards the end of September that we may try to squeeze something in.
Speaker3:
We're not sure.
Speaker2:
Sneak up the trapeze or something.
Speaker1:
Yeah, we might do something. But Hedo is our next big adventure. So really the next month we'll be focused on that Thank you, Secrets. It's for if you, if you ever hear this thank y'all for being so accommodating and it's wonderful we've had a great time yeah well i think overall uh so let's let's do this i've heard i heard somebody say this in the pool the other day out of 10 pineapples what would you give how many pineapple rating would you give secrets a seven seven yeah i was thinking seven i was thinking eight honestly that's what i was thinking seven eight i think it is it's it's not it's not your high end upscale no it's definitely you know if you're a fancy person and you like fancy stuff go to caliente right it's right down the road it's not the place for you but uh if you want just a relaxed atmosphere where it's just around like-minded people it's a good place to go right it's a great place so my only complaint is the food that's it we'll give it an official since i said eight and you said seven it's a 7.5 out of 10 pineapple i love it you love it yeah is that going to be our new rating it's our rating system okay i love it okay and thank you all the tiktok friends and people that have been here that have came up and hugged us and said hello yeah we've met a few more than i can even count at this point they've all been wonderful um thank y'all for all your support right it's fun to meet people here and it's i think with the discord server with uh tick tock it's you know twitter instagram now that our tiktok gets deleted it's almost like our family moves on with us to the next yeah they're still like okay now where do we go how do we find you yeah so i really appreciate it yeah we really appreciate it so thank you right thank you guys anything else i think that's it all right well in a world full of apples be a pineapple be a pineapple bye everybody
Speaker2:
bye guys if you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us, leave a five-star review wherever you're listening. If you want to see more of our content, you can find links to Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, OnlyFans, and more in the show notes. Come join the conversation with us and other Swinger content creators on our Swinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at theswingnation at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to theswingnation.net and keep up to date on all things Swing Nation. We thank you so much for joining us and we'll see you next time.