Send us Fan MailThe Swing Nation PodcastLifestyle Interview: Mike and Daphne We ve Been Outed | Episode 30In this swinger podcast episode, Dan and Lacy talk to friends Mike and Daphne. They hear the about how Daphne went from a preachers daughter to a fan favorite on #Swingtok. We discuss the path that lead them to discover the swinger lifestyle, joining TikTok, and the journey they went on with being outed to their family. Hear their story on this week s episode of The Swing Nation Podcast! _______________- The Swing Nation -Main WebsiteQuick Navigation Website: -- (Find all our social media links more!)Follow us on Facebook!The Podcast Website_______________ - Swinger Society -Our Website to meet, connect eventsSwinger Society DiscordOur Facebook Group_______________ - Swinger Websites -SDCUsername: TheSwingNation** Use code 36313 for 14 days free! **SLSUsername: NorthernGuynSouthernGirl_______________ - Merch More -The Swing Nation MerchThe Swinger Pride FlagsSwinger Society Merch_______________ - Lacy’s Fun Links -VIP OnlyFansPREMIUM OnlyFans_______________ -- THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS --Shameless Care: ED Medication and at home STD testingUse Code TSN at checkout for $30 off your order!Promescent® Make Love Longer, It’s Time for Great SexUse Code SwingNation for 5% off!Pinaq Liqueur; The Official Drink of The Swing NationUse Code TSN at checkout for 15% off!Non-monogamy Couples Course and Single Guy Mastery CourseUse Code ATLANTA for 50% off!Support the show- Thank you for the support! -
Transcript
This podcast is intended for adult audiences over the age of 18. It contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice.
welcome to the swing nation podcast a podcast by swingers for swingers where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe interview the experts learn and grow together join the nation welcome to the swing nation podcast i'm your host northern guy and southern girl and we are in durham north carolina at the friction party coming to you live from our hotel room. On the floor. On the floor for the second episode in a row.
And we're here with Daphne and Daddy Mike. And if you guys have followed us on TikTok and followed us, our story, you've probably seen Daphne and Daddy Mike and some of the TikToks and other things. but we're sitting down with them. They came to the hotel takeover, the Friction Hotel takeover with us, and we're going to sit down and tell a little bit of their story. So if you guys want to start and just tell us a little bit about yourselves, maybe where you're from and how long you've been married and any information like that you feel like sharing, we'd be happy to hear it. Go ahead, baby.
Way to throw it out there. I mean, just throw her out there. I'm Daphne. Really? Yes, I'm married to Daddy Mike. That's me. And we've been married to almost two years. It'll be two years in July. It's only been that long? Yep. Okay.
You in trouble yeah so like a little backstory so so people can know before we jump right in we've known them for a while a lot of the people that we've interviewed here or talked to um we've met through tiktok or more recently we've known y'all for a few years before yeah yeah before both of us yeah so we met them was it sdc or sls i can't remember sls and then we all hooked up at yeah so we um we went to paradise valley which is in george dawsonville georgia it is a nudist colony they also have a lifestyle club and so we all met there and hung out and we've just stayed friends all these years yep it's been cool yeah good time you know yeah so so tell us about yourselves how did you meet start there so we met online we met on a dating site zeusk um zeusk is what it's called yeah yeah um and is that like a like vanilla, like a regular?
Yes. Okay. I've never heard of it. I didn't know. Is it like Tinder or is it more like match? No, it's more like a match. Yeah. Yeah. So it's more legitimate. I didn't swipe to find her. You're looking for love. Looking for love in all the wrong places. Well, funny story about that though.
I had kind of been on and off that site after my divorce and um because you know you get a lot of just yeah guys just kind of you know oh you're beautiful you're you know I love your eyes you know blah that kind of thing and so it kind of get aggravating because you get on there and you'd have like 200 comments from guys and they were all the same thing. Yeah. All the same thing, you know, no real substance. Yeah. I know what you mean. I'd have get on and I'd have like three comments. Leave me alone. Stop messaging me. How did you find me on Facebook?
So, um, his, and I don't know how it happened because i was in tennessee and he was in georgia and i thought that i'd had the um location you know set for just a tennessee area i changed my name that's why i found you can we mute him um but anyway so um he his picture just started scrolling up i kept seeing him and i don't know why it was it was random it was fate it was fate so um i kept looking at him and um you know i would go a little bit and look at him again and he came across day on my message, and he is the only guy that actually said something funny that, you know, he said, are you going to keep looking at me?
Are you going to say hello? Kind of like Forrest Gump with that waving visual. So, like knowing him, I can totally see him saying that. That's really funny. So, he totally, of course, caught my attention. And I, so I met, I don't know how I messaged him back, but we started talking. And that's how we met. And he's the only one on that site I talked to. That's awesome. Yeah. I'm still around. Yeah, he's still around.
I keep him then we got married so having so were either of you in the lifestyle before meeting each other i was like kind of briefly um somebody um i had met before just kind of a couple months just just a couple of brief, you know, one house party and that was it. So you were with another person, not like a single male? I'm not usually with single males. No. So you went to parties with single males or you were dating somebody that was in the No, no, I dated and we kind of dabbled in it. Gotcha. Okay.
But then i moved on okay to better things okay yeah okay so so who brought up the lifestyle and how soon did that happen because you've only been married for two years so did it happen pretty quickly it was pretty quick yeah because we were pretty open about you know because i'd been married for 22 years so um and it was not a good relationship sexually at all it was just not so um once we were divorced you know I was really looking forward to you were having like a little ho phase yeah yeah it's okay we all do it so it happens um so he brought it he kind of asked you know we we had conversations about what our fantasies look like or what we would like to do or what made us excited um and it was more him kind of leading the way um i think the second weekend we met i made her dress up in a daisy duke outfit and meet me at the hotel he did he did i was like mortified but um so we we started talking about fantasies and things like that and i think i'm the one that said first well i think i would like to have sex in front of people i think that's yeah then we just kind of went from there and i knew i knew a few of sites, and so we just kind of looked at stuff, and then we found Paradise Valley, and we went there one night and kind of played together, and it's like...
I think... Yeah, I was going to say, can I tell the truth? You weren't... This was not... No, but the first person that you had sex with after y'all got married was me. Yes, it was. Ooh. That's me yes it was sorry mom that's true i i kind of like that title yeah so even to the back that you know just because we know your story a little bit so you were married for 22 years but you grew up pretty conservative in a conservative household was Was sex something that was talked about? Did you always have fantasies? Did you ever dabble with, you know, making out with more than one guy?
Or did you ever have threesomes or anything like that before? It's so funny that you ask that because I did grow up in a very conservative family. My dad's a pastor.
And I mean, I think that his view of sex is you should enjoy it but it wasn't like stuff that you experiment with it was you do this to make babies to make babies but they could they yeah um but more or less just because that's what you're supposed to do to stay connected there wasn't like they only believe in missionary style and like you know there was no yeah other extra stuff um so that's kind of how we grew up you know just thinking it was just pretty vanilla so um and would you say i'm assuming based on your comment earlier your marriage was also pretty oh yeah but for other for for other reasons I mean I had a really bad view of this kind of thing just because I was hurt very on early on in our relationship by him being um secretive and you know looking at stuff when he you know and not telling me about it and so i would just find it yeah and you know i would just be mortified you know because all of the thoughts i think that a lot of women that don't truly understand a lot of this now get in their head and think you're not enough you're not enough yeah well i think i think the big thing is which Daphne's saying is that it was not consensual with her.
Yeah. It was insacretive. Yeah, it was insacretive. What we have going on is very open, very consensual, and we talk and we discuss and we set the boundaries and the parameters. Right. And it's something we talk about often. And it's not like even if you're, you know, a very conservative Christian person in a monogamous relationship, it's not that you don't have these fantasies. Like, you know, I mean, like, I think everybody, I think, you know, in my experience, I don't know too many people that don't at least fantasize about threesomes or, you know, experimenting.
that would be a fun night yeah yeah so it is interesting that you know like what you're saying is you know your your ex-husband had obviously was looking whatever he was doing right um but but you know probably felt guilty about that and didn't want to share that with you and then the animosity that that generates and the jealousy that generates and then you know and it's you know we we talk about a lot why swinging relationships and non-monogamous relationships are so close and so you know it seems it's like a different level of relationship because you can share all that with your partner you can you can say that you know hey i have this fantasy and like hey let's watch some of that porn together and you know like that's a normal conversation to have with somebody in this type of relationship and even you and i were talking last night i mean we were talking about like a fantasy something that we would never do but it's still really nice to be able to like communicate that that is a fantasy with you and vice versa does that make sense like yeah just knowing that i can say whatever is on my mind and he's gonna love me regardless and not i'm not gonna be judged for it.
That's the biggest thing I think with, with the, the lifestyle is the, the nonjudgmental, the acceptance. And, you know, it doesn't matter what your, your kink is. It's, well, that's what you do. Yeah. Well, and your partner is supposed to be the person that loves you regardless.
You know, you should be able to tell that person and I know personally I've been in marriages and not marriages but a marriage and relationships where I could not say those things like it would have been a knock down drag out fight you know and it's it's so refreshing to know that no matter what I tell him he's gonna love me regardless unless you bought're saying you're in a pretty monogamous vanilla relationship where you did you have these fantasies were you finding an outlet for that did you just totally well at first I was just totally put off by it just because and so i really didn't because i was just like i i was so hurt by what he was doing that i just didn't see anything outside of just that's deceptive that's not good that's unhealthy it makes you feel you know bad so i didn't really have you know too many thoughts about it um although i do remember i think i've told you several times i would wake up and i would have after having dreams of like me what i just remember specifically i don't know why this vivid dream that i had once where i was walking through like an auditorium or some kind of stadium or something totally naked naked and just shaking my boobs all over the place you're just living your best life walking through things i think so but i just remember that dream i think that you've probably lived out that dream i don't know if it's in a stadium but i've seen you do lots of buildings i'm sure once we get big enough, we can get a stadium.
Yeah, yeah. You probably saw a stadium for Daphne to shake or something. We got to fulfill this dream, Mike. We got to do this. Okay. But I think that was probably the extent of, you know. But so I don't think I really did have many thoughts or, you know, fantasies until we kind of started talking about it. I mean, I think in and on, I'm not going to talk for you, but I think based on listening to your past, it was a lot of, um, you were stifled. You were, um, made to feel like anything that you did outside of normal soccer mom stuff was inappropriate. Right.
I think mostogamous relationships are like in my opinion i mean like if you veer off at all yeah and i don't think that's you know i think it's harder for women to to you know be honest about their thoughts on some of that stuff you know men are obviously probably a little more you know i think we're allowed to be more sexual um i think that's why there's more single guys in the lifestyle too because it's easier for a guy to be like oh i had a threesome a girl is a whore oh yeah right yeah right but i think all of us i mean i know in my you know i was in a previous marriage as well and i was made to feel like that there was something wrong with me that having those thoughts having those fantasies was not okay and it like almost like you need to go get treated for that if that's what you if that's what you right what you want right um so so sounds like you met mike he was a more of a sexual being than maybe what you were the box he did used to and then he started i let pandora so he starts glad you did mike he starts sharing his fantasies or just talking more open and sexual, which made you be a little more open.
He would kind of ask, like, you know, what are some fantasies that you have? And then we would talk about it. And then he would say, well, do you ever think that you would be okay messing around with a guy and me watching? I'm like, no.
Don't even ask me to do that and that was last week um so i think that's when it started was him asking if if i would be open to um playing with guys yeah and so that's kind of how it started it's interesting because we get we get that question a lot right like how do i talk to my wife like you know like i'm into this like i think the idea of my wife playing with somebody else or a swapping would be hot but how do i approach my wife i i know that's something that she you know that like i think it's something that she would be opposed to like how do you approach that so it sounds like you guys kind of went you know me and Lacey were in the lifestyles we kind of just jumped into it it sounds like you guys kind of went through those stages so is there a through them early because when we first met we were talking a lot before we actually met and we were actually talking naughty to each other before we even physically met face to face so like Like I had I coaxed her into sending me some pictures and you know that's where it's just kind of like and it's a it was a progression it was like okay like okay I've pushed that boundary what can I push next and so it kind of progressed and we you know we had our little you know meet and greets that were you know like hot and you know secretive in a way because she was like not ready to let the cat out of the bag that i was with her to her family which is cool yeah but i like what she said a few minutes ago you would ask her what her fantasies were and i think like for men or women that are listening to this that want to get in the office so that's a really good conversation starter well i was um the way it started was like like we said it was like being in front of people then it was bringing in single men and it was always i always made sure she understood that this is about he did what i she's like at first she was like you will never be with another woman i will not allow that I think we remember that conversation I think we had that conversation and I was fine with that I was like no this is about I like to see you and we just kept doing that and I let her find her comfort level I mean you get pleasure in seeing her get pleasure and we you and we moved at my pace yeah that's the thing it's important excuse me is i feel like that that's how he approached it with me was he made me feel like it you know it was something that excited him to see me do not necessarily that it was something he's wanting to do so i wasn't we didn't start off with me feeling like oh he's just wanting to mess around all these women and maybe just be a swinger you know yeah he he did truly make it right he wasn't like trying to trick you into it right oh let's explore your fantasies so then i can get mine later right exactly and so it kind of made me feel comfortable about it and um and then when you know after i was with you know, I realized, you know, hey, this is not, it's not something where I'm, because at first I thought, how can you do that and not have feelings for this person?
I think that's a very common woman perspective. And it, even with Dan and I, it took me, even though I, we had both been swingers before and I'd been with couples, but it took a few times for me for that to really register in my brain. Well, women are more emotional when it comes to there not be a connect. I mean, it could just be sex and that's okay. So it sounds like you played with a few guys and realized, okay, I had sex with other guys that weren't Mike and I didn't fall in love with them.
So this obviously is something that people can do and it's not that crazy of a concept and then i was more comfortable because i thought okay i'm not having fun for all these guys it's just fun it feels good and so i was like and i was like yes i got you my plan is working but that being said even you know we've played in and around you guys several times I think Mike still, a lot of it for him is still seeing you pleasure that seems to be a big part of, you can tell when Daphne's playing, Mike a lot of times will just come and pull just be there.
Or get her, like, a hair bow, a condom, some lube. Like, he's right there to assist. So, I definitely don't think that was a disingenuine, I think. No, no. I think he genuinely likes watching her. I do. Yeah. Like, me and Lacey had a good time, like, hanging out at a vibe party. Yeah, I mean, there's been plenty of times that Dan and Daphne have swapped in. Mike, and I have not. I think if you've listened to this podcast enough, you know that Dan's a whore of the relationship. Yes, he is. So him and Daphne are good partners. I think he just called you a whore. I think he did. It's okay.
So, yeah. Because I can kind of relate. I do also like watching Dan.
It does turn me on to see dan i like watching you too though i mean that's a mutual yeah but you're also usually well what can i say you're usually occupied elsewhere okay so we want to um talk about y'all coming on tiktok um because y'all only it is march you only really started tiktok like in january beginning of january yes and you've kind of like taken off in my opinion would you say so did yeah no their account's been doing yeah i mean i think y'all are doing wonderful so like what made you decide you wanted to be like out there her fantasies no um well you guys I think helped a lot and um looking at just the excitement and meeting people and pushing you know trying to push out the whole I think stigma of um swinging yeah and I think we really enjoyed the way you guys were presenting it and the group was presenting it and stuff like that.
So yeah, we, me and you had talked multiple times over months, you know, just like, and we had told y'all, we're like, we, you were going to do amazing. We knew, we knew you would, but you're like, you gotta be prepared. Everybody's going to find out like be prepared.
Um um we have another friend right now that they're wanting to do the same thing and those the same conversations that we had with them or having with them now um and it only it it took a little bit longer than it took for it took us like two days and then people started finding out it took y'all like two months yeah it took a while so you've recently um you've recently been outed i guess is the correct i don't know if you call it outed but self-outed well because you did put yourself 3 million members in over 50 countries it's the world's largest lifestyle community and a great place to link up with open-minded couples singles and kinksters from around the globe whether you're just starting your lifestyle journey or you're an old pro sdc has something to offer you with chat rooms live cams groups and blogs there's always naughty fun to be found sdc.com also has expert advice professional, and entertaining content to enhance your erotic lifestyle journey.
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Make sure you join the Swing Nation STC group and send us a message. Yeah, she came on to one of my TikToks. And this is a family member. Yeah. Yeah. And was messaging us on TikTok. First commenting under this made up profile. Saying mean things or? No, no, just warning. Warning kind of. And she kept saying, I'm very close to you. You know, and I was shocked because I was like, anybody that is close to me would talk to me. Right. So you just thought it was some internet troll trying to mess with you. I thought it was.
I thought it was someone that I maybe knew, but not well enough, you know, to really, you know, because she said you would just be defensive. And I'm like, what? So, I really did not think it was someone as close to me as it ended up being.
And they just, she just decided one day, I think I put up another tiktok well we we we followed each other so that we could um message directly and that's when more information started coming out we started picking away at like who could this be and we were asking some questions about daphne's personal life and family life that not many people would know and she was she answered some things and so that's when but I didn't know who it was until my my dad told me who it was really yeah and so basically she or whoever has told everyone in your family including your children at this or it's gotten to everyone Well, told my ex-husband who then took it up on himself to go to each one of the children and my parents and i i don't even even know the extent of everyone they've told um so yeah and this is why swingers tend to stay so private right like literally what you just said i mean i do i do get that they found out about it on tiktok but somebody could have also told someone and it went the same thing could have happened you know same situation somebody could have saw you walking in somewhere and someone told so this could happen regardless of tiktok i think i've got friends that have had that happen to them or they've been yeah so i think this is like a really good story to hear because swingers do really struggle with this of their kids finding out their parents like you said your dad's a pastor um it's a very scary topic for swingers yeah and the the hardest thing is is you know when a family member that is close to Daphne as she was does not come to you directly and talk to you, but then goes to your ex-husband.
Yeah.
And like when that happened, I decided to tell all my kids and opposite reactions, like from her family, like my family all my kids were very accepting and just hey this is your life this is what you want to do and stuff like that but and I don't I don't fault anybody for that I just fault the fact that it had to be like there was certain information brought to a minor child that was only brought to that minor child to hurt Daphne yeah so I mean like inappropriate information about websites stuff like that that she would have never known and I think that's one of the things that bothered me the most too is they didn't come to me directly but then they spent a whole week going through every finding every inch of dirt yeah and then so to hurt you if you were truly concerned you wouldn't have even looked at that stuff you would have just come to me and said daphne what are you doing you know um this is not good instead they spent a whole week going through everything yeah you know building their case yeah yeah so that i mean it was just it was kind of just devastating so i mean and we knew that you know with tiktok there's a chance it's going to get out yeah we took it as you know yeah different level other than swinging like we were at that swinging level yeah and then when you guys dragged us into your world That is a different level.
Yeah, it is a different level it is you're completely correct you you're a thousand percent correct um but i think they also go hand in hand if you want me to be super honest in what he's talking about his only fans because a lot of swingers take videos they take pictures we share them forth. That is extremely common. And we're giving away all of this for free. Basically, we're sending it to each other. So why not get paid for it? Why not let that fund some of these swingers? So to me, OnlyFans and Swinging coincide, in my opinion.
Well, I think it's, you know, for us don't you guys can speak on what how you feel about it it's we enjoy sharing images and videos and we enjoy people commenting and saying like you know that they enjoyed that that they thought it was hot that they thought it was sexy i mean that's a big you know part of the lifestyle it is very it's like the foreplay of the lifestyle yeah meeting someone getting on kick chatting sending like to me like for women that's empowering to like be in your 30s or be in your 40s and be able to get in lingerie and look amazing and send this to another husband he's like damn your wife is beautiful like that is that is definitely a part of being a swinger in my opinion right so So putting it online for people to purchase, it's almost smart because you're giving it away for free.
It goes in line with it. I get that there's a stigma associated with swinging, and there's certainly just as much and probably more of a stigma associated with sex work or OnlyFans.
Whatever you want to label that, there definitely is a stigma associated with that and you're right like so to go public on tick-tock about swinging and then to share images and videos on OnlyFans it is taking it to another level but but kind of what to Lacey's point is it's really not anything you weren't doing yeah more public forum just in a more public forum now at this point where more people have access to it. Oh, yeah. Right. Yeah. Well, and two, I forgot what I was going to say. Go ahead. No. So, yeah.
So, I assume all your family knows about all of that now until you're dealing with the judgment. And it sounds like it's a mixed reaction where some people are like, hey, do you? Like, we love and support you. And then there's other people that are like. I don't think anybody has said you do you. Well, in experience, it took my family a few weeks. I mean, even though they love me and supported me, I think seeing your daughter, your sister, whoever in that different light, they're like, what? And then when they realize, oh, that's Lacey. That's the same Lacey that I've known all along.
They're like, oh, it's okay. She's fine. So I think it took even my family who was extremely supportive sometimes. So I imagine somebody that's like a little bit more on the fence. It's probably going to take a little bit more time. I mean, with Daphne's family, I don't know how to describe the bubble that they live in. And Daphne lived in that bubble, the bubble of Knoxville. And it's hard because I have watched and heard and experienced how everybody in her life has told her how you should live your life. Of course, you have your parents and they're going to do that.
But then you have your husband for 22 years telling you exactly how you should present yourself and what you should be doing in your life.
And then you have other family members And then when someone like me comes along and allows her to be who she wants to be and yeah i'm the catalyst i i will admit that i have let the cat out of the bag the pandora's box open um right you simply encouraged her that hey you're a sexual being you're hot you're sexy if you want to share that there's nothing wrong with that right dressing and being who she wants to be without judgment without um fear of, you're a sexual being, you're hot, you're sexy. If you want to share that, there's nothing wrong with that, right?
Dressing and being who she wants to be without judgment, without fear of, you know, retribution. Is that the word? Do you think that you are catching blame for it? Yes.
As far as, because I felt like, I felt like, not for very long, but I felt like a lot of of my family and friends thought oh my god dan's just like like changed our and i felt defensive over him because i knew it wasn't him and so do you feel that way like do you want to take up for mike are you like no no you know like or you're just like yeah it's all his fault no no i'm just making no so initially i mean we're we're just in a month uh i'm sorry a week right this is all this is all extremely fresh still really fresh so the the approach that i took was um i let them voice what they felt I i just said ask me any questions tell me how you feel you know that kind of thing because i feel like that a lot of the my family needs me they need me to hear them and what on for whatever level that might be in helping me or whatever for them, I think, I don't know if I said that word right, I felt like they needed to be able to voice how they felt in order to try to help me if there was help.
So I didn't want to argue with them. For them to feel like they're helping you. Yes. Yeah, that's right. I didn't want to argue with them. I didn't want to sit and plead my case with them at that point i didn't ever say no i'm not doing this i didn't say i'm going to quit doing this i never said you know um the only one that really said something um was the minor yes your minor daughter said it was my fault it was's changed you. But I know that they're blaming me. Yeah, she just said, he's changed you. I want my mom back, that kind of thing. Well, that's an easy blame, you know. Yeah.
It's like. And I'm okay with that. Yeah, it's an easy blame. So, I didn't really, I mean, of course I said no, that's not Mike. But I didn't argue with anyone. Yeah. I didn't try to say, you're wrong. I didn't try to say, your opinion doesn't matter. matter you know I just let them say what they wanted to say and um and then you know from now on I'll I'll start building on that we have a family event coming up and we're gonna let that happen my son's getting married so yeah I'm gonna be dealing with it you know yeah and I There's no Russian dealing with it. We'll deal with it.
Yeah, you have forever, too. Yeah. Yeah. So, I just, like I said, I felt like I needed to let them, their voices be heard about it. And so, here we are. Yeah. I mean, you know, I mean, it's been hard. Oh, I can imagine. So, I think, so, obviously, we've all been outed on TikTok, basically.
And so people that are like listening to this are probably like well duh i mean like if you put your faces on tiktok it's gonna happen and even though dan and i and i'm sure y'all did too communicated every step of the way we knew what we were getting into we knew putting our faces knowing that and getting those first few phone, it doesn't matter how much you can prepare yourself when you see your mama or your daddy or whoever calling you, um, it's a hard pill to swallow. I don't care who you are. I mean, it is.
And it's also kind of, um, I guess because we're talking about like and stuff like that, for me as a female, I almost felt like maybe a tad bit violated. Even though I put out all of the information, but I felt like everybody around me was talking about who I'm fucking or who I'm sleeping with or what I'm doing. I don't know.
It's just a really weird weird situation it's just and coming from a lifestyle where you're you're basically taught to keep it private and not talk about it to then be thrown in the deep end it's just it's so different right so i totally i know exactly how you feel and it's been it's been hard to watch personally because we know how hard it is and it makes us sad for you yeah it really does it's been hard and I mean like I said you guys told us you know and that's why it did take me a while to yeah it did it did to be willing to do it um and you know I do remember you saying you know you're gonna they're gonna find out they're gonna find out but you know what you really don't understand you don't know yeah the magnitude of it and you don't feel like okay little old me is really gonna reach anyone yeah you know I'm over here in Georgia doing my thing they're not gonna see what's you know and so I didn't really think that it was gonna happen that fast um but it did so here we are and i mean not that any of them have said at all it's okay or do your thing it's more or less okay this is what you're doing yeah well that's kind of good though you don't want them to say don't you know i mean yeah so um what my one of my sons totally just mom i don't even want to talk about this you know kind of thing and then one of them was obviously very upset and didn't want to speak to me at all um and then my my minor of course is just i think she's she's pretty devastated but she also has her dad right there yeah yeah he's feeding her her thoughts and her yeah she's also at the age where everything in life is devastating, you know?
Yeah. So I think that is part of it, too. And it's funny because she was the one that was constantly sending me pictures and stuff and comments. Mom, these guys at school are saying you're a MILF. This was before she knew. This was before she knew.
And like what is that what are you talking about and she would say mom they you know but then when reality really set in and she thought oh my goodness my mom is really doing some of this stuff i think she was like yeah it's one thing for the people to think that your mom's hot it's another for your mom to actually be doing stuff like that so putting yourself out there so it's been hard so i don't know we're dealing yeah and i think mike has dealt with a lot of the the brunt of mine yeah yeah it's similar i mean lacy you know when when it all happened to us i think you know it's natural for her she put a lot of the blame on me like you convinced me to do this you talked me into this like you didn't protect me like you know and it's that's a hard you know coming from you know my side and my side that's a hard you know as a man like that's you feel like it's your duty to protect and you know when you see your partner hurting you know you want to fix it but you know i i know for me and lacy and probably some of you guys like we did talk about it we agreed on this we you know like maybe that was i pressuring some of it maybe probably right likely but uh we definitely was consensual the whole time and even sense even now i couldn't blame anybody right you know somebody's yeah, it's got, you just want to put the blame somewhere.
Well, and for me, I don't, honestly, I, for me, it was more, I didn't expect him to really fix anything. I just wanted him to understand, you know? Yeah. I think I had the heart. See, I'm. He wanted to fix it. Yeah. Because I'm, well, I'm a guy, number one.
We want to fix stuff, but I'm also from the North northeast and i just speak my mind yeah we have very very similar situations you know yeah it's everybody everybody in my family was the ones no in his didn't and i was the one catching all the hell and having to have all the conversations and he was just over there like it's gonna be fine yeah it's gonna be fine and i'm like it's not gonna be fine i can't even go to baseball i can't even walk you know they're all they all know every every time i step out of this house i have to assume that everyone that i see has seen it has knows and it's it it wears on you it does it does yeah i guess my hardest thing is, um, like I said, like I said, is that, um, I see how her family reacts.
And there was like one comment that you're not living up to your children's expectations. Oh, my daughter said that my 13 year old daughter said that to me in text.
And then her brother was you're not happy i know you're not happy it's like how can another human being ever know what another human being is feeling and yes people do change and i get it i get that she has changed from who she was and you know my thing is is i see her in a different light than her family does because i see her in a light that i said be who you want to be yeah you know well and i think you know from from our perspective we also got a lot of the like well you're gonna make me look bad you know i mean like that's exactly yeah you know it's not that they're worried about you it's it's well how is your image is going to ruin my image right and that's what i hate about all this is this it's all this fake make-believe like i have to seem like the perfect person and i have to you know like i have to have this standing within my community and i want people to look at me a certain way and i want them to think that i you know i have this perfect life and you know perfect marriage and everything's hunky-dory and you know my gosh if somebody comes in and they they tarnish that and you you know like if people are spreading rumors about whatever my sister my mom my you know insert you know verbiage there they're not really worried about you but they're worried about well somebody can talk about me now because they heard a rumor about you and you're associated with me so that means that my little perfect bubble could get ruined because of you you know i mean and that that's a like i don't know it's a hard thing for me to accept you know like you're not you're not really concerned about me you're concerned about yourself you know like how is this going to make our family look right yeah and even you know that kind of reminded me of a conversation that i had with my ex when he found out um you know it was almost like now my son was in danger Now he was, you know, he was going to be, you know, like, but the reality was, is that we had been doing this for years.
Exactly. Like I was the same person the day he found out about it that I was a year before that. Like I was like nothing had changed there. You know, I'd never run anyone into the home. I had never, um, like dropped him off so we could go fuck someone. You know, I'd never locked him in his bedroom so I could go tick tock live. You know, nothing had changed. I was still the same Lacey from before that I was. He just knew. Yeah. That's it.
That was the only difference that he just knew about it right well that's what they told that's what my daughter told me that i was now no longer able to have her visit without supervision which is like crazy that somebody would think that's okay that's not how it works you have to go to a court you have to go in front of a judge and a judge makes that decision but i'm like literally you had no idea like you said to your point you had no idea we were doing this we weren't like have you come watch in the bedroom i think people think that like do i mean like i genuinely think that people think that we're like such sex driven creatures yeah we're gonna be fucking with a kid in the room or like banging our head against the wall and the kids hearing it i get guilty when my dog's in the other room at the end of the day we're we're like mothers first and wives and and good people who just happen to like how it sets behind closed Right.
That doesn't make you a bad person. You can be a good mom and, like, to get fucked really hard. Like, you can be the same person. Yes, you can. Well, you know, we talk about this a lot. You know, I know, Mike, you're open about having a military background. You know, other communities have gone through these same struggles of coming kind of out of the closet, so to speak, and being judged by, you know, the military used to be don't ask, don't tell. Right. You can be gay in the military. You just couldn't tell anybody that you were gay.
And if you told somebody, all of a sudden then it was a problem. Oh, yeah. And, like, if you look back on, like, that type of policy, like, what the fuck? You know what I mean? Like, how does that, like, what does that have to do with anything? You know what I mean? Like, you're either gay or not, and who gives a fuck, right? Right. That's kind of how swingers are. You can be a swinger. Nobody can know about it.
And that's the mentality that have to do with anything you know i mean like you're either gay or not and who gives a fuck right right that's kind of how swingers are you can be a swinger nobody can know and that's the mentality that i think a lot of people we encounter have like i don't care what you do behind closed doors but oh my god you're on tiktok and you're talking about yes like that's suddenly that makes you a bad person right and it's like no we're on tiktok and we're on you know we have and we're, you know, because there are other people out there that want and need information.
Right. And when something is underground is swinging is a lot of the people that stumble into it have terrible experiences because they have nowhere to turn to. Yes. Nobody to coach them. Nobody to mentor them. Nobody to answer the questions that people have. It's not that non monogamy doesn't exist.
And the fact that there can't be people out there that are willing to share um their experiences and and offer advice and and be really a community to answer questions you know and and i assume that's a lot of the same things that you know some of these other communities went through you know obviously we don't like to compare it because you know they were faced violence yes you know lots of bigger concerns. Social issues. There's other issues associated with it. But some of these minute issues that we're dealing with are probably similar problems.
And I really hope that our lifestyle is on that same journey. That someday people are going to be like, who cares? Yeah, whatever. Who cares? Whoever people want to fuck in their bedroom, they can fuck in their bedroom. As long as they're not hurting or harming anybody and they're not doing anything illegal, have at it. It doesn't affect you as a mom. It doesn't affect you as an employee.
And that's what of come out and gone through this this journey you know whether it's lgbtq transgender you know whoever it is that it – if it doesn't affect your job directly, why people are trying to, you know, control social norms within policy for all that stuff. And now it's just happening quicker because of the internet. Yeah.
Like before the internet, like I'm sure it was quite a lot different for swingers and LGBTQ and all that to, you know you know find their people and be comfortable but that's the double-edged sword that's you know we're in the internet world we're social media driven we're you know um everything trends and all that so it's easier and it's quicker it's just a quicker process to put it out there as well as to be found out yeah i think it's like you're saying you know a combination of social media and then you put covid in there where we've all been at home and on the internet yep uh you know i think that's you know for us that's when tiktok kind of exploded and i think a lot of you know a lot of the creators we've talked to that are our swingers seems like they all kind of stumbled into it at the same time around the time of covid and started making videos and stuff like that um so it's it's definitely a thing now you know from our perspective from you know the discord server the the website it's all exploding you know i mean the rate at which our community is growing and when i say our community i mean you know the swing nation the swing nation and the swinger society and all that it's it's pretty phenomenal to see the amount of growth in the last year ish depending on which website you're talking about um but i think it's it's a good thing it's a it's a positive thing i think you know you guys being on tiktok making your videos sharing your story talking about you know what you've experienced you know there's going to be thousands of people that listen to this and can probably you know relate or maybe going through something similar or have these fears you know they're not they're not you know open or they're not doing this because they have these types of fears i think i think all that's important and you know i think it's you know i know it's hard what you guys are going through right now and it's i'm sure you've had long nights and lots of not sleep it gets easier if i can if i can offer any advice just like personally to you or anybody else who you know is afraid of being outed it was hard like we were right where you were and i was like i i wanted to quit i wanted to we deleted tiktok you know quit for a while then at some point enough people knew that the cat was out you know so then it was like well why not make money why not spread awareness if everybody knows at this point we cannot there's no way to put this back in the back like it's it's out you know um i will say i guess we started getting out in probably may june july like you know that so now however long it's been it is nice to be able to just freely be us my my biggest thing is if we stop we're admitting that we've done something wrong yeah yeah and that was my message so i see it's like essentially you're you're letting them control you right like this is who you are like you know you could try to change and you could try to conform to what people society wants us to be but you're not going to be happy doing that you you weren't happy you know you tried to do that for you know seven years in your marriage I tried to do it for 13 years in my marriage and I was not happy in that that situation I wish I could be I'd like to be you know but it just didn't work for me so yeah to try to conform to society just to to make people happy that are judging me for things that really have nothing to do with them i just don't i don't see that as the right right answer now i'm not trying to persuade you to yeah well now i feel like if people like i was so worried about people judging me for being a swinger where now i'm like if those people want to judge me for being a swinger fuck them right you know that's kind of where i'm at now i mean like not necessarily the people that i love and care for right you know but i'm talking about the people that on the outskirts of those you know the people that are just talking behind my back and stuff like that like if they're really i would rather than not like me for being a swinger than like me for being someone that I'm not truly if that makes any sense and I get the way right Daphne is like she's got to kind of walk a fine line between yeah you know her children it's your family it's your children I'm different I have family I've let them know but I'm also not really in an area that i've been in georgia since 2008 my hometown i mean it probably would have been the same reaction yeah same for dan but i'm not there now so it's a little easier and you've got you know uh an expose it's like couldn't couldn't spread this quick enough yeah yeah well i'll say you know everybody's at first everybody's shocked yeah and then everybody's concerned yeah and then everybody's like the stages of grief yeah and then everybody's curious and then the people that matter start coming out back on board and yeah and you know that was kind of the process i think and then it's like old news and then you know some of them are asking you questions how they get signed up for websites like hey like we're not swingers but we like to invite girls sometimes you know so like what does that mean yeah I mean of course I'm'm never gonna tell their names and stuff like that but yeah i mean absolutely so it gets better if that's any advice to you i think it started to already like your one of your sons has already reached back out and is communicating with you like within a week yeah i think it is yeah it's a shock i mean like i totally get that i mean it is especially your mama especially to a boy maybe yeah i mean i don't know and i think the hardest thing with your daughter is that she's got someone else in her ear feeding her what she feels yeah you almost need to break she has a kid's size emotions and a-sized brain and you can't really yeah yeah you almost need to break her away from that well well and i told her i because she got to when it first happened she was communicating with me non-stop yeah like for the entire day the entire day i was getting just bombarded by text from her and then um she went through the whole she's trying to save her mama thing so she was sending me like little memes of you know yeah different things and um and then she saw a picture on something that we didn't know was going to have my last name on it yeah the paypal for some reason i didn't i didn't change and she said there she sent me a picture of that and i was like quit looking quit looking at it yeah you know you don't need to go on the sites stop looking for what i'm doing you know and i mean i think that just kind of aggravated her so I haven't really heard back from her yeah um but um yeah it's whatever I know well I feel like thank y'all for talking to us because I feel like TikTok has really um wrapped their arms around you like even in our lives they're like how is Daphne and Daddy Mike like when we told people we we're gonna sit there like give them a big hug i think that like i know your story is like hard but i think you've been very open and sharing and being very transparent and i think that tiktok has recognized that and i think you have a lot of loyal people that care i know you get a lot of hate we all do yeah there are definitely people there are definitely people that care about y'all and um are behind you 100 right for sure oh we love them all because we kept our our stuff pretty private for the most i mean like we've talked about it some but we didn't um yeah we we deleted it for like a week and then we started new and just kind of pretending like it never happened you know i mean like yeah we just kind of pretend we really go through the emotions with tiktok and y'all kind of have which i love i think you'll probably have a more loyal fan base because they're going to see you at your worst and your best i think that yeah i mean if we had to do it all over again i would absolutely do it the way that y'all are doing it yeah because i mean i threw a fit and was like shut it all down i quit i did that happened i was like i put too much effort into this exactly that's exactly what i said and we slowed it down we've slowed it down this week she hasn't posted much but a few things but well i think you'll also have our entire group behind you and you have people to lean on we uh we didn't have anybody really we were like there was no swing talk yeah we were just like what the hell are we doing um so i think that yeah that would have been hard i don't know that i could have emotionally handled that if i didn't have yeah the group of people that we have in the community that we have that have been so supportive because you can just call somebody yeah i can totally know what you're going through and it's so yeah helpful for everybody listening so we have a swing talk you know most of the swing talk creators we have a text group and yeah and you know when this happened uh they've all been trying to support daphne and mike and they've all you know there's some crazy story you know they've all like gone through some, you know, Malia, they did an intervention on, on her when it happened.
I mean, they have like a legitimate intervention, you know, so, I mean, it's, you're definitely not alone in what you're going through, but I know it doesn't make it any easier.
Well, it's funny because, you know, that's why I feel like that we are so close to the, you know, this core group of friends that we have because people have reached out to me even privately from the group and said hey i'm just checking on you not one other person that i have been close with in my family yeah have reached out to me and said i know that you're saying like vanilla friends that you knew like your whole life right but that know you're going through this now i do have friends that have so i do have a couple of girls that i'm friends very close with and know about it and they have checked on me yeah but i'm talking about the other ones that are so quick to judge yeah but yet because they're so concerned but then yet they've not called to say hey i know we don't really agree with you but we know that you're having a hard time if you're concerned be concerned for me not just concerned about not one not one so that's been that's been hard like the attitude that well you put yourself in this position it's your fault yeah that's terrible it still hurts though even though you knowingly put yourself out there you you knew what you were getting into until until you have that call from your dad first text or yeah or you're so whoever it's nobody can prepare that right for you which is funny because her dad which is the one that has been not supportive but not as not judgmental to a a point where which is pretty awesome because he's the pastor and that's the way he should be he walks the walk and talks the talk when all these religious people online jump on us it's like you're not even following your own faith it is's that makes me happy and that's what her side of her daughter's father is like is he's a christian in church and just not even close to being an outside of church well yeah many times with me so yeah yeah so do you what you're gonna keep chugging along or do you you're thinking about it you guys are still playing it by ear what do you what do you think you're gonna no we're we've not daddy mike said no he said he's not shouldn't he did and as a lot of people know he went and did a live i know lacy knows wait me and her were texting on the side i texted her and i was like she heard you say lacy in the live and then next thing I know she was texting me.
She said how many people. You better get the fuck out of this live. She was like how many people are in the live. She could have gone on my. I didn't want to give you that satisfaction. Like 3,000. No I think it was only like 500. Oh there was a lot in there for a while.
That was the first night we went back like it was three thousand yeah but um yeah i was just totally i mean it's okay he he needed to to do what he needed to do and i've come to terms with that i wanted i wanted just peace and quiet and just to step away from it and you know not to rattle the cage sort of speak you know because i didn't know who was watching and i didn't want them to feel like oh she's like fuck y'all i'm gonna do whatever yeah so i just wanted to let you know it just and so but he i mean he did what he did and well in hindsight i wish we would not have taken our stuff down I get it.
Yeah, it just i don't know what i thought that was gonna fix but i did feel like it was gonna do something it didn't the cat was out of the bag so um and you're never gonna stop people from from getting away into your tiktoks and your instagram and like there's just it's just too easy to like make fake profiles no it's it's on them like you know the information's there if they don't want to see it they need to not they need to block you but if they're going to keep digging and that's a vicious you know cycle because they're going to find something that they don't like and then they're going to text it to you.
It's a never-ending. But that's on them. I'm glad y'all are staying because we love y'all on Swing Talk or Swinger Society. We think that y'all are amazing. I'm always proud. I'm like, we've known them forever. Whenever anybody said, we knew them first. We knew them before they were famous. We knew them first. Oh, gosh. We knew them first. Just remember us. I'll sign some autographs later. Perfect.
before they were famous all right well anything else you guys want to share with the nation of swingers out there that are they're listening to you no just do your thing and be proud of it and be happy you're doing it it's who you are and who you want to be and that's what I get to say good Daphne um nothing I just I mean I'd like to say I appreciate everybody's support yes absolutely that's been that's been nice because like I said I could not have handled it if i hadn't had yeah you know the strong support of of everyone on our our group and you know yeah swing um tiktok and swing your society and all that stuff yeah so all right yeah well we love y'all thanks for sharing your story i know this was like a hard conversation it's so fresh and new so we really appreciate y'all yeah thank you for your story.
I know this was like a hard conversation. It's so fresh and new, so we really appreciate y'all sitting down with us. Thank you for having us. I think it helps. It's been fun. Yeah, it does help to talk about it. It does talk. Time on it's always good. So we're about to go swimming. I just realized, I don't think I brought trunks. Well, good thing you're a whore. Me and Daphne will be naked together. That's not the first time. It won't be the only time tonight, babe. All right. I hope so. All right. On that note, in a world full of apples. Be a pineapple. Be the pineapple, guys. Bye. Bye.
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