Send us Fan MailLifestyle Education: Sex Tips when having an Orgy | Episode 91In this swinger podcast episode, Dan and Lacy discuss the ins and outs of how to have an orgy. Are you curious in participating in an orgy but not really sure how it works? Then this is the podcast episode for you! Dan and Lacy answer all the questions you need answered about Orgies! Whether you re curious about non-monogamy or already have experience, this episode of The Swing Nation Podcast is sure to provide valuable insights and advice!- Please vote for us for the ASN Awards in the following categories:BEST CONTENT CREATORLACY - SWING NATIONBEST EDUCATORLACY - SWING NATIONBEST SUPPORTING BUSINESSSWING NATIONBEST ENTERTAINMENT PODCASTSWING NATIONBEST SOCIAL MEDIA INFLUENCERLACY - SWING NATIONBEST EDUCATOR WEBSITELACY - SWING NATIONVOTE NOW CLICK HERE!ASN Awards Show Multi-Resort Takeover- The Swing Nation - Main Website Quick Navigation Website: -- (Find all our social media links more!) Follow us on Facebook! The Podcast Website- Swinger Society - Our Website to meet, connect events Swinger Society Discord Our Facebook Group- Swinger Websites - SDCUsername: TheSwingNation** Use code 36313 for 14 days free! ** SLSUsername: NorthernGuynSouthernGirl- Merch More - The Swing Nation Merch The Swinger Pride Flags Swinger Society Merch- Lacy’s Fun Links - VIP OnlyFans PREMIUM OnlyFans -- THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS -- Shameless Care: ED Medication and at home STD testingUse Code TSN at checkout for $30 off your order!Promescent® Make Love Longer, It’s Time for Great SexUse Code SwingNation for 5% off!Pinaq Liqueur; The Official Drink of The Swing NationUse Code TSN at checkout for 15% off!Support theSupport the show- Thank you for the support! -
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This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. Welcome to the Swing Nation podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle.
Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe, interview the experts, learn and grow together. Join the nation. Lacey, we get approached by couples all the time and they want to know, like, where can they learn the one-on-ones of non-monogamy? Yeah, I totally get it. You want to get in the lifestyle, but you just don't know where to start. We recommend Sex by Sue's class on non-monogamy.
i totally get it you want to get in the lifestyle but you just don't know where to start we recommend sex by sue's class on non-monogamy she really helps couples learn how to communicate and do the lifestyle the correct way yeah i think this lifestyle you know it's crucial not to to step on the landmines that a lot of us do yeah and you kind of learn the hard way you know so having a class can take online, you know, in the privacy of your own home and kind of learn the ins and outs, learn, you know, how to approach the lifestyle, how to communicate with your partner about it.
You know, I think it's something worth taking and we highly recommend it. Yeah. So click below in the show notes. You'll find this link for that course. Check it out, guys. Bye. Most people have unprotected oral sex, right? Be honest. Now think about your last STD test. Did your doctor tickle your throat with something that looked like a giant Q-tip? Probably not. Yet that's the only way to check for oral gonorrhea or chlamydia, which are often asymptomatic. You need a better doctor. You need shamelesscare.com. Use coupon code TSN at checkout.
So Lacey, people are asking, how do they get to go to a party or an event with us? They check out swingersociety.net. You create a profile, you sign up for an event, and you come hang out with us. Super easy.
That that's right if you want to party with us and the other faces and names that you know from social media and tiktok head on over to swingersociety.net can't wait to see you there hey there pineapple people and welcome to the swing nation podcast we are your hosts northern guy and southern girl in today's episode we're going to be talking to you about how to have an orgy yeah group play orgy 101 we might know a thing or two about this this is our style of play which is like really funny because then we meet people and they're like oh we're not comfortable and i'm like really like i forget that like other people are not everybody has orgies all the time yeah i say all the time once a month i mean a good orgy once a month you know it's like it's good for your health i think you know what i mean yeah i like glass of wine at night an orgy a month like it's the same thing yeah i guess i could i see a point see where you're going there do you yeah uh yeah so like you said i think we forget that not everybody has orgies or that maybe orgies aren't as common in the lifestyle as we think they are because of our skewed kind of view on things um so we get asked a lot of times like how does that work right if you're gonna have an orgy like how do you decide who does what and who plays with who and how like how do you navigate like and if i'm gonna have an orgy do i need to bring snacks like water like you know like what do the how do you do this thing yeah so we're gonna get we're gonna dive into that yeah we're gonna we're gonna tell you all the details this is our perspective so we are not experts but i would say that this is definitely our main way that we play so this is just our advice um take it for what it's worth that's true not all orgies are the same but this is this is kind of the the one-on-one um to to orgies based on dan and lacy right dan and lacy's um beginner guide to orgies yeah that's a good yeah it's a good title right we'll think about it um all right so if you were curious about orgies if you thought about having an orgy if you didn't know how to have an orgy if you're not sure what the rules are with the how does all that work um this is the episode stay stay right here with us all right i'm looking at your notes they're quite um so just like a backstory on dan and i this is how our relationship slash podcasting goes dan does all the research and then sends it to me.
And I usually don't read it until right now. Yeah. And I'm looking at your notes and it's quite, it's quite something. All right. So I think to start with, if we're going to talk about orgies, we need to define what an orgy is, right? And I looked this up. I was not expecting, like I thought an orgy was a group of people having sex, right? So if you hop on the Merriam-Webster and look up orgy, right, there's a couple different definitions there. What's the first one?
Secret ceremonial rights held in honor of an ancient greek or roman deity thank you i did not know i said that and usually characterized by ecstatic singing and dancing yeah apparently an orgy was some kind of roman or greek uh like ceremony like a party or just it's a party yeah um you know where you're i guess um you know you're uh honoring the gods essentially okay which which goes you know like if you've ever watched any roman history stuff like they kind of essentially they have orgies to celebrate their god like that's kind of i think that's in line with i have no idea i think maybe we need you know like maybe that's what's wrong with christianity because we don't have enough orgies to celebrate our god oh you're about to piss some people off i'm gonna not comment on that you don't want to go down that road yeah i'm saying far far away i'm just saying like if the greeks were there they were having orgies to celebrate their gods that's a little different perspective on life you know i mean that's a little different way of celebrating your gods i don't know than in current culture i don't condone this no i'm not involved in this conversation all right lacy pleads the fifth i'm just saying email dan directly with your complaints all right definition did i i might have walked into it there.
You did. Definition two, excessive indulgence in something, especially to satisfy an appetite or craving, right? So now we're getting closer, right? Yeah. So you're indulging in something to satisfy a craving, that's an orgy. Yeah. Definition three, a sexual encounter involving several people, right? Mm-hmm.
an orgy that's the orgy i think we all when we say orgy we think of a sexual encounter how many people do you have to have to be an orgy i would say more than three more than three so a normal couple swaps an orgy no i guess not no i guess not so five as soon as you hit five it's an orgy yeah i guess so because like if you just have two couples so four that's just a couple swap that's not an orgy or is it an orgy well it depends on who you ask if you ask a vanilla person who's never been in anything like that that to them would probably be an orgy but to us who have been involved in like rather large orgies that's just like a normal it's a vanilla that's a vanilla orgy as lacy would say it's a vanilla threesome we just like a side note i can remember like back when you and i were dating or like just barely getting to know each other and i can remember one time i went to play with this couple and i was like yeah it's just like a normal it's just like a regular threesome it's not like anything crazy vanilla threesome and i was like and i'm like this is our lives a threesome is like a tuesday night and a foursome is a is not an orgy it's a vanilla orgy it's just a normal yeah yeah i agree though.
In terms of the lifestyle, when you're talking to lifestyle people and you say, I want to have an orgy, that generally means more than just a couple swap. So there's probably going to be five or more people involved. So I think that is the common understanding within the community. Yeah. Right.
So that's important like you said if it's not lifestyle people you know some people might consider three people an orgy but within the lifestyle space if you're saying let's have an orgy you're probably talking five or more people at that point okay some some things to note this is not hollywood right you maybe you've watched porn maybe you've watched some hollywood movies maybe you've watched this the greeks and Thank you. Some things to note. This is not Hollywood, right? Maybe you've watched porn. Maybe you've watched some Hollywood movies.
Maybe you've watched the Greeks and the Romans in a Hollywood movie having orgies. When I think of Hollywood orgies, I do think Greek and Romans. There's grapes. There's naked people with the robe things. There's probably pools. I don't think that.
What do think what's your hollywood version of orange like super hot yeah abs abs everybody is like equally attracted to everyone giant dicks yeah perfect boobs it's just naturally just like a thing yeah that's what i think of hollywood orsies i gotcha yeah yeah it's not like that no it's not there's some of that yeah yeah there's some of that in there and i will say you know real life orgies are probably hotter than hollywood orgies right it's probably um that sounds pretty fucking i haven't seen well yeah but there's some things i've seen in real life that i've never seen in a hollywood movie i'm just saying like never seen too much dvp going on in a hollywood orgy you know yeah but anyway uh in real life people are going to struggle to get erections there's going to be people that um are not in shape uh there's going to be people sweating on you there's going to be people that you're not attracted to and maybe you don't want to play with um somebody might queef or fart or all those things i'm saying these things happen right you're not wrong i just didn't expect you to say that i'm just saying yeah prepare yourself mentally for this yeah it's gonna happen yeah um okay another note is not all orgies are created equal right you could go have an orgy with your friends that's gonna be one dynamic one vibe might be completely different um what if you go have an orgy with other people sometimes everybody's gonna connect it's gonna be hot everybody's gonna have hard dicks and it's to be a great time sometimes it might be a little fucking awkward yeah sometimes somebody might get mad and leave the room sometimes people's dicks might not get hard you know like all these things right um so just just know that um it happens it definitely does it happens in like normal couple swaps it happens in threesomes.
It definitely happens probably even on a greater scale the more people you add in. Right. Okay. So that's the start, right? We have to set expectations, right? All right. I think the next thing to talk about, and it's probably of the most importance, is how do you protect yourself in an orgy?
And when I say protection'm talking like condoms and stds and stis like how does that work in a orgy type scenario i think we should talk about that right off the gate um change condoms in between partners right okay 100 percent so step one bring your own oh yeah if you're invited to what you think is going to be an orgy or a house party where this kind of thing might happen bring your own condoms bring your own loop right because maybe you wear a magnum condom they might not have well maybe you need cheap skin condoms and if you do need those kind of condoms you probably want to bring extras for other people because most people aren't going to have those so if you're sensitive you know bring or if you have a latex allergy like a female you probably need to bring your own as well so that way you can make sure that people right are using those uh bring your own lube right because different people like different lube and it might react to your body differently so bring your own um i'll even say like we don't use a lot of lube in our normal sex life but in an orgy situation lube is a bigger deal it is because there's lots of more sex going on yeah sometimes for longer periods of time so you know you don't want to hurt anybody you don't want chafing you don't want you know like so lube is kind of it's kind of a good it's kind of a good thing um with condom use is a general practice for us and our our lifestyle friends we all use we all everybody just about everybody i can think of uses condoms um that being said don't make that assumption yeah right um make sure you make sure that boundary is clear to everybody before you start engaging in anything they say hey we are condoms are a must for us um and then like even like when we had that you know that house party and we had that orgy like she was like condoms are a must you must change condoms between partners you know like that's perfect i like i love and i get that like in the moment it it almost you can forget that you have to pause and change those and i do it sucks like it's like from the guy's perspective you know when you're in an orgy and you're having sex with one girl and then let's like you're like oh you want to swap or you want to like yeah like to have to stop and then go take it off and like even me a lot of times essential i'll like go to like the bathroom or something and like take it off like rinse a little bit you know and and then put a new one on you know so it does that pause sucks for guys it's just it's terrible but you'd have to do it yeah yeah another thing i will say that you see we've seen and that people forget about is your fingers like if you're in an orgy situation don't go fingering a bunch of people yeah back to back right uh take a break you know a lot of times you know having wet wipes and stuff like that to clean up or go wash your hands we actually keep that in our like we have like a travel bag so we keep like the wipes condoms a lube all that just goes with us right every time if you're wearing condoms but you're everybody's fingering everybody like you might as well not be wearing condoms because you're still spreading yeah disease you know potential bacteria from one person to the other so uh i think that's something that maybe gets overlooked yeah more i'm sure it probably does and i'm even you know when you see people that are mindful of things like that it like raises your comfort level right oh 100 like if you see a guy like i see a guy playing with you and then another girl comes up and is like oh you know can you try to make me squirt and like he stops and goes and cleans his hand like to me that's like it's so respectful oh it's just it's a great thing yeah and so you can tell that's like the little things you'll see between like lifestyle people that are like in the life you know what I mean like you that get it you know so just be mindful of that um okay so that's protection and i you know i don't think we can talk about that enough it's super important we're very very big advocates for it you know all these people you're engaging with are your friends and the last thing especially in an orgy situation you want to do is give a bunch of your friends uh some of disease, right?
So get tested, use protection, get tested regularly, and use protection. That's really the best thing we can do for each other. Yeah. All right. Let's talk consent, right? Because normally consent, you just, you know, whoever you're interested in, you consent to that, and then you happen. But in an orgy situation, does everybody in the room have consent? No. How does that work? No, and I think that's, like, really important. I think a lot of people that don't engage in a lot of group play don't realize that. But you, like, to get involved in an orgy, it's not across the board.
Everyone is free-brained.
Um, you always ask before touching the other person right and if you make that assumption that's a that's the quickest way to never get back invited back to an orgy again right especially like the bigger the groups of people get the more important it is to to really have the conversations about consent and ask the person before you touch them right um because just because you're in a room with people doesn't mean everybody in there wants to fuck you or wants you to fuck them or wants you to touch them or wants you to do go down on them or what whatever the thing may be yeah um so yeah definitely getting consent is key um one of the practices we've started to do and i've heard other you know lifestyle educators and podcasters and stuff talk about this, is that like that circle of consent prior.
So essentially what this is, is once you get a group of people and you head to a playroom, whether that's a hotel room or a playroom in a club or whatever, once you get to wherever it is that you're going to have sex, you pause.
everybody sits in a circle on the bed or stands in a circle or whatever and you say hey guys let's talk about our rules and you just kind of go around the room and you say you know i'm a full swap we're a full swap couple uh we always use protection you know whatever your rules are i don't do anal um i'm a squirter you know you can just kind of give a little little rundown of you what you're comfortable with and and what you're okay with right um something we've talked about before is that's even a good time to like we've had to like save a fantasy you know like oh i'd like to have two dicks you know i'd like to try dvp i'd like to try airtight i'd like to whatever you know yeah suck two dicks at once it's a good kind of opportunity to kind of do that too yeah but definitely the consent stuff right like i don't want anybody trying to put anything in my butt like that's something that's good to know right out the gate um so having that kind of circle of consent at the time to everybody can kind of voice their rules and their boundaries um that's a good time and it's hard i get to like stop and do that because you're like kind of pausing the heat of the moment but i've found that we've had a much better experience in the long run if we do that because everybody knows what everybody is willing to do or not willing to do out the gate and so i think that's like really important right now in that moment some people will have said i've heard people talk about saying who you're comfortable with playing with and who you're not I don't like that I personally don't like that because you're you're really putting somebody on the spot right like well and just because like I am comfortable with playing with an individual that is not a blanket consent for the evening like I still want them to be like hey may i do this to you before because just because like in the beginning i said yeah i'm into you i'm into playing with you doesn't necessarily give them the right to do whatever they want right to do yeah because like what if i had just finished with someone else and i knew that was coming it's okay um just because i you know gave them a consent in the beginning doesn't mean that i am i want to be touched by them the entire night so like let's just say i was finishing coming with someone else um and maybe i needed a couple minutes to just like relax to kind of gain my composure.
I would prefer that they asked me like, Hey, may I do this to you before just doing it? Because then that gives me the opportunity to be like, give me like five minutes. I need a five minute break. No, I agree 100% with that.
And so what we're big advocates and it's just it's sometimes it's out of embarrassment or out of you know, you're not wanting to be rude somebody not say oh i'm good with fucking all the guys except for you know whatever yeah x guy over there that's mean that's mean yeah that's not the time so what what we generally do is when we have this little concern circle and you say yeah i don't do i don't want anything in my butt or you know then you then put at that same time put out everybody here before you touch anybody ask for permission right and it's something as simple as you come up hey is it okay if i touch you like i'd like to play it's just like a respect thing because like even if like let's see let's say i want to fuck this guy and he's like hey may i fuck you and i'm like yes and then i usually will look at his wife and be like is it okay if your husband fuck me which twofold one i'm making sure that she's comfortable and two it's hot as fuck for a woman to tell you that you have permission to fuck her husband i'm sorry that to me just like sets the tone for like the naughtiness and i love that yeah no it's that that's the way to do it and it's like you said you know even if you if you want to go down on somebody right come up to them say hey do you mind if i go down on you or hey do you mind if i play with your pussy or hey do you mind if i kiss you you know hey do you mind if i fuck you like i'd really like to have sex with you are you comfortable with that like all those little things right each step of the way permission.
And then like you said, even looking to their partner and say, hey, you know, guy, I'm going to go, I'm going to go down on your missus. Is that, are you cool with that? Are you okay with that? And he's like, yeah, man, get that. Like, that's perfect. That's the way to do it. Yeah. And really doing that throughout the orgy situation. If you switch to a different partner, ask them, is it okay if I do X, Y, Z? And then check with their partner. You know, that constant communication of everybody will make your play session go so much smoother.
Because the last thing you want to happen is some wife to look over and you're fucking the shit out of her husband. And she didn't know or maybe they were a soft swat. You know, like there's just so many ways that that could go bad if there's not that constant communication amongst everybody. Another thing is to always look out for your partner and even maybe your friends. Right.
So, you know, me and you, you know, in these orgy situations, if there's a bunch of people people it's easy to get lost in the pile of bodies right yeah um and it's easy to kind of lose sight of your partner um and like you're saying it sometimes it's hard for us to speak up for ourselves um but most of us you should know your partner well enough to kind of see if they're comfortable or okay or you can get a vibe if they're off or not feeling comfortable and so you you know when we're in that kind of situation I try to constantly keep a read on you and if you're okay if you're comfortable if you seem off or if you look not okay like I just I need to keep that in the back of my mind well and it's also very hot so like I do really like that you are always checking on me and like i know i can like look your way and you're usually within a few seconds of looking back at me which i love that makes me feel safe and secure but it's also very hot to make eye contact while you're fucking someone else like that's underestimated so it's definitely twofold but there's been times where i've not been super comfortable maybe i consented to someone but i'm not necessarily liking where they're going or you know i don't know maybe i'm tired there's a million different reasons but like right because even if you're into a guy and he starts fucking you if he's being too aggressive or if he's you know using his fingernails or you know like there's like his dick's not hard but he's not like acknowledging that and he's just trying to fuck you with a half soft dick i mean like there's a lot of things like and so you know people ask us all the time do we have like a safe word do we have like a way usually if you look at me i will give you you it's all over my face i'm like not okay and then like it's very easy for you to come over and scoop you back up and yeah in a sexy like i need my wife for a second i gotta have a piece of that or what you know i mean like there are ways to interject yourself still maintaining the sexy environment and not making anyone feel awkward no and that's the exact way to do it right like if i look over and i can see that you're saying maybe you're not not consenting but you're just not having a good time i can come grab you and scoop you up or i can even like come grab you scoop you up and maybe like deliver you to somebody else you know like take you for a minute and then i know you're into this dude and I'm like hey hey you know whatever your name is like do you want to fuck my wife like I can then like kind of pass you you know yeah get you out of that situation and into a different situation where you might be more happy yeah and I think that's like really key because I think for me I very I don't think that we've ever been in an orgy where I want to fuck every single person in the room.
I cannot think of a time. Well, okay, I can. But it's usually the larger. Like, if there's six of us, yeah. But, like, once we get into, like, 10, 12, 14, like, there's, I don't always want to fuck every single person. And that's okay. And that's totally okay. They could be some amazing humans and really good friends, but maybe I'm not sexually attracted to them. Or maybe, I mean, there just could be so many things. I think it's important to know that, like, you can still participate in that orgy and not fuck everybody. So I'm really good at maneuvering where I am on the bed.
So like if I am super, whoever I'm super into, obviously I'm going to gravitate towards that way. But let's say somebody comes over that maybe is not somebody that I would like to play with.
Like once I'm finished with the person I'm with, I can like kind of get up, get a sip of water, maybe clean up up a bit maybe i need to go to the potty um you know i totally sound like a mom there at the potty the restroom um and then i can come back kind of refresh and again put my body where i want you're the people you want yeah so it's to me it's a nicer respect like more respectful of their feelings way because again they're all we all good people but maybe i'm just not sexually attracted to them all right so in that with that theme how do you say no to somebody no thank you if somebody approaches you it's like so i think it's really important to me to treat people how i would like to be treated because nobody likes being turned down ever it's like the worst feeling especially like you're naked you know you're kind of you're very exposed and somebody um you know approaches you and you like say no I mean that can brew something that can ruin someone's lifestyle like journey so i always really really try to treat people the way that i want to be treated so i've you know i'm like i'll very i'll say no thank you or say maybe in a little bit or i'm taking a break right now i'm gonna i'm gonna go grab some water yeah yeah i think there's ways to turn somebody down without being like no right because i've heard of people doing that and like really ruining people's confidence their lifestyle i mean there's just to me there's just no need to be mean to that being fair there's no it's okay to be direct right it is okay to say hey no i'm just not but i still think you need not if you like that or no i'm not feeling the connection you can say those things that's perfectly okay but i do i i do think there is something to be said for hey not right now i'm taking a break or i actually i'm going to go get some water and then like they know what you're doing like they kind of know what you're saying now that being fair sometimes you really just need a drink of water so yeah yeah there's a lot of times i really have to go to the restroom especially drinking i feel like i go to the restroom a lot i do feel like if you want to be direct and you want to have a conversation like say it's somebody that you play with regularly that's part of your circle yeah to me i think that would be have a better conversation to have when you're sober when he's not standing there with a hard-on naked or she you know she's like been over on the bed i just feel like there is better ways to handle that conversation than in the heat of the moment because i think that's where the feelings get hurt but i totally respect somebody that is direct and and can say that i just don't know that like at two o'clock in the morning when he's got his hard dick in his hand or she's you know trying to suck your dick i just don't know that that's the time i get what you're saying yeah makes sense yeah i'm just saying there's never if you are direct that's okay like that's it's okay yeah it is if they get their feelings hurt really that's more on them than it is on you you know i mean like we're all responsible we all have to be adults we have to realize we're not everybody's cup of tea and that's that's on us to own our insecurities and our feelings uh so it is okay to be direct but but i do think what you're saying like if somebody approaches you and you say hey actually i'm gonna take a break right now or actually i was just about to go run and get a drink of water or go to the bathroom or actually i'll really want i'm gonna go fuck my husband like i i need my husband right now like any of those things is is a i guess a nicer way to kind of avoid it without being mean or direct yeah either way but i'm like a historic like person that like just wants to make everyone happy and not hurt people's feelings i know the internet doesn't agree with that they all think i'm this terrible human but i genuinely don't want to hurt anybody and i don't want to see anybody sad so that is me being like a people pleaser if you are a direct person you're probably like she's ridiculous but again this is just our our take on all of this okay um our next note here is less alcohol more water yeah what does that mean the drunker you get the least you you can't consent like that's take everything out away that is the key here if you are drunk you cannot consent so you need to remember that um but you know other than that things don't work well when you're drinking um men have a harder time staying hard i know for me i tend to like get drier the more i drink yeah i guess i'm dehydrated um so definitely by the time we are back in the playroom at that point i'm always switched to water yeah so you know this is an orgy right an orgy.
You know what I mean? Like, I think a lot of guys think, well, oh yeah, sex with five women, that's going to be so hot and so fun. And it is. But you got to be, you know, in good shape. You got to be in a good mental capacity. You want your dick to work. You know, you don't want to pass out.
Like if you're, if you're wasted, like having said, you know, a lot of times when we have these orgies might last an hour might last an hour and a half it might last two hours you might have sex with two women you might have sex with 10 women you know what i mean like you got to be in peak physical form uh in order to make this happen and make sure everybody has a good time um you don't want to be that drunk slob that can't get hard or can't you know like that that's that's not hot to anybody it's not sexy it's not fun um so yeah i mean it's okay to drink it's okay to have fun um but definitely especially if you have an idea that you're going to end up in a playroom with a bunch of people um you know mind your alcohol intake yeah and we've been in situations where we've gotten back to a playroom with people or were headed that way and it was very apparent that they had overindulged and we've pulled the plug on it so that's like kind of the worst like you've really been eyeing a couple and it's about to happen or and then it's time to go and one or both of them we've done it ourselves several of our friends have done it to us and to others like We'll be right back.
or and then it's time to go and one or both of them we've done it ourselves several of our friends have done it to us and to others like you know you look forward to these events you spend all this money to go you spend all this money on outfits you know have this anticipation in your mind of having sex with these people and then you over indulge and ends up you end up passed out at nine o'clock at night in your room yeah alone nobody wants to do like don't do that it's all happened to us like every single person that we've ever met has done that it's you know and i think it's just kind of part of it but i think we should just try to do better i I'm telling myself this as well.
Yeah, that's good Hedo. I know, good Hedo advice. Good Hedo tip. All right. Overstimulation is real. Mm-hmm. It is. I mean, it's like live porn. It's the hottest fucking thing that I can imagine. Yeah. So it's very common. very common you know yes orgies are hot right being in a room with 10 people everybody having sex you know two girls on one guy two guys on one girl you know all these things are happening it is super hot but it is sometimes overwhelmingly so right you don't know where to look it's noise like you're trying to have sex but people are like Thank you.
is super hot but it is sometimes overwhelmingly so right you don't know where to look it's noise like you're trying to have sex but people are like grunting and making noises in your face like uh you know it can it can it's hot but can also be very distracting and sometimes ruin it for you depending on what's happening i don't think it's ever ruined it for me uh i don't i don't mean but it can be distracting let's just say distracting right there's a lot there has been times where like you know things are happening and the entire room stops to like watch this thing oh yeah uh so for men if you're trying to maintain an erection with all these things going on that can be difficult right there's people watching you uh you know they're stop and go and change condoms um you know you're you're watching this other people have sex and but trying to focus on that partner that you're trying to play with and get a heart on like overstimulation can can kill an erection like it just it can happen whether that's you know there's been times like you know we were in dallas and you look up and there's a hundred people looking in the windows watching you that can be a moment where you're like fuck you know i mean like the thing that's happening like the person you're having sex with is you're into that 100 and you know like that girl's hot and you want to fuck her and you want your dick to work but if you look up and see you know 50 people staring at you sometimes that's overstimulating yeah you're right about that um same for women i think um you know having sex with multiple partners can be exhausting uh can sometimes rub you the wrong way figuratively and literally uh you know there's a lot of things that can happen if one person's you know didn't trim their fingernails the right way and are overaggressive with you, that can kind of ruin the night for you as well, right?
So, all these things are things to think about. If you do get overstimulated in this situation, it's okay to take a break, right? I take breaks every single orgy we have, like multiple.
I just kind of get, I said I've never been overstimulated i just said that a few minutes ago but now that you're saying all these things you're 100 right because i do i yeah i have to stay step back it's usually hot i'm usually thirsty um there's just a lot going on well even i know for you like because you are multi-orgasmic yeah sometimes when you have multiple orgasms it it literally you're overstimulated like your clit is overstimulated like you just need to take a break and kind of calm down and yeah and i also love to watch so it's like a twofold like i like stepping back catching my breath taking a drink you know kind of like coming down off the high of what just happened and also like to step back and take it all in yeah so that's super common that's safe for guys for girls for for everybody and it's okay to step away it's okay to go get a drink of water it's okay to go sit on the couch in the corner and just kind of watch for a while whether your partner's with you or or involved like i love stepping back and watching you same uh yeah and you you do it to me all the time too like that's that's part of an orgy i think is maybe you know enjoying watching what's going on not necessarily happen to be involved all the time uh okay i think with that it's time to take a little break we're gonna step away you see how i did that there and take a little break and hear from the partners and sponsors of the swing nation podcast and then when we get back we're gonna wrap up our tips for orgies yeah for how to get that the best out of that group play yeah all right guys we'll be right back we here at the swing nation podcast are proud to partner with promessant listen guys we've all been there you're having a hot night with a hot chick maybe a few hot chicks but you need to kind of delay the time before you pull that trigger that's where promessant comes in they have this awesome product called the delay spray you literally spray it on and it delays the time that you orgasm so you can make sure that your partner is well taken care of.
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So if you're looking to connect with like-minded people, click the link in our show notes and sign up for STC using our affiliate link and receive a full access for 14 days completely free. Make sure you join the Swing Nation STC group and send us a message. All right, guys. Welcome back. Welcome back. We're glad you stuck around and listened to our sponsors. Love our sponsors. We do. They're the best. Like, literally the best. Yeah. All right. So, talking orgies.
Let's talk a little bit about communication right yeah so you're in this situation right you're funny there's six people eight people ten people in a room you know we talked about keeping an eye on your partner and just kind of making sure they're okay but how do you communicate like what if something is not okay how do you communicate that with your partner i just say it but i mean i know that like not everybody is that way um but usually i can i just will make eye contact with you and i think you kind of just know if i'm not okay and then usually in that case you will kind of come over and you can like pull you away for a second yeah but you usually like making out with me or fucking me or something in our faces or close to each other so we can we can have a moment and to everybody else it probably just looks like we're like talking dirty or being naughty but like i could be like he can't stay hard i'm not comfortable but i mean it's true you know because like it happens and it just it just happens so like we can communicate very quickly what's going on or you know on the opposite end of that i felt left out before um during orgies like maybe the guy that i'm really into is into somebody else and then you're having fun with another wife and so i just kind of feel like the third or fourth or fifth wheel i don't know and so like i've communicated to you i feel left out and that kind of gives you the nudge okay i need to make sure that i'm including her a little bit more you know because like in your defense you're having a blast so you're not even really realizing what is happening yeah that's the easy thing to happen and you know it kind of goes back where we said you know keep an eye on your partner um you know we've you know as far as communication goes people there's some people that have hand signals there's some people that will you know squeeze each other's arms or hands like you know three squeezes means you know bad one squeeze means um i just be you know whatever you come up with whatever your your you know mode or method is with your partner don't over complicate it like you don't need the these don't need to be like baseball hand arm signals you know i mean like some simple little things that you know good not good you know come talk to me i think like checking in with your partner every little bit is important you know like it's twofold one because you need to make sure that they're they're safe they're comfortable they're okay with what's going on also your spouse or your girl whatever the person is in your life that you're there with, they should always be your number one priority.
And so it's like it's twofold. It gives you a time to like reconnect, check in, make them feel important. Because when you're swinging, when you're doing this, it's easy to get in your head and it's important to pause and check on your spouse. Yeah. And I think especially, you know, for newer couples, right?
it's it's easy to get in your head and it's important to pause and check on your spouse yeah no and i think especially you know for newer couples right it's it's very easy to get caught up in this moment but you got to keep an eye on your partner right you got to keep them involved you got to keep that connection with them because the last thing you want is at the end of the night you finish up with you know some girl and then you look over and your partner has like that is it sitting in the corner by herself with that pissed off look on her face yeah like and you're like oh fuck what you know like and you you know she's been over there for 45 minutes and you you just now realized it yeah that's you know especially when you're like first in the lifestyle and you're just so excited to be with someone else it can be very easy to kind of get in the moment and forget but i think it's just like to keep in mind this is a partnered activity you're there with someone you're not a single person um that you have to think about their needs and what they're going through as well agreed agreed and that's it's different like you said you know it's something you've probably if you're new to the lifestyle you've never had sex with somebody while simultaneously trying to keep an eye on somebody you know i mean like that's a new concept right usually when you have sex with somebody you're 100 in the moment with that person you know we know you know again this is dan and lacy's kind of version we know couples that like to play separate for that very reason because they cannot balance the you know they can't they don't like the balance of having to worry about the partner and that's a personal play style if that's something that you need then a group orgy is probably not your cup of tea and that is 100 fine yeah but for us we like orgies we like being in the room with our partner we like watching our partner but you definitely have to be cognizant of them and what's going on and find ways to be able to communicate with them if something's not.
Well, and somebody that's like listening to this podcast that is like newer to lifestyle or thinking about getting in the life. So they're probably like, holy fuck, that's like a lot of work. I've got to stay hydrated. I've got to keep my dick hard or stay wet. I've got to be in the moment, but not too in the moment.
I've got my spells make sure they're safe but also i mean there's this seems like a lot and it definitely is like a learned skill you you get better as at it the more you do it yeah well we've always joked around that this is like you know swinging is like you know it's like pro sex like it's like it's the next level, it's not the beginner's guide. Like, so, yeah, there's a lot there is a lot to it. I wouldn't be scared or intimidated. Like, you'll figure it out. Like, anybody, if you can if you know how to have sex, like, you can navigate this. You'll be OK.
I promise you, you know, if you need help, just message me. Let me know. We can take care of you. We'll walk you.
We get to walk this oh okay yeah uh i got you um but no please don't i mean well maybe if you're hot like we'll see uh but no it's not it definitely is a uh it's not beginner level sex but it's not it's not olympic level either it's the average person can figure this out it's not that difficult okay the next thing on our list to talk about is be open-minded what what are we talking about there be open-minded well i mean we're having an orgy with people how much more open-minded can i be well like think you're gonna get close to people there's gonna be fluids exchanged there's gonna be touching there's gonna be there's just a lot going on right there are people um in within the lifestyle community that are afraid of group play because they're afraid of incidental contact right and so what does that mean incidental contact means same-sex partners touching each other because you're in a group orgy situation and you know a king bed might seem like a big bed and it is a big bed it's not a big bed when you have 10 people 10 couples on it or 10 people on it or six people you know i mean like the space gets very limited and uh you know if that's happening you might um brush arms with another dude uh you might you know dick might touch your leg at one point you know i mean like these things happen relax it's okay you're not you're not gonna like yeah i mean like i don't know why people are so paranoid about that well it all goes back to the number one thing here consent um and as long as everyone is consenting you know i mean things are gonna happen things are gonna brush up against you and stuff like that so as long as it's not somebody like overstepping those boundaries you're you're probably going to be okay yeah and there are lots of bisexual people yeah within lifestyle both male and female and you know i don't know if we've you know i almost say unfortunately but we haven't seen a lot of bisexual male play in an orgy situation no i can't honestly i don't know if we've ever experienced I haven't and not that I would be I have any issues or problems with that.
I kind of encourage it. I want to watch. There's been a lot of within our group. There's been a lot of talk about that. And so, yeah, I mean, hopefully that happens at some point in time. But, you know, that's OK.
Like this is the whole point of the swingers lifestyle is to explore your fantasies right um and you know everybody's super into girls being bisexual right and almost every orgy we've been in there's been bisexual female play um you know i think bisexual male play should have that same acceptance within our community our group i think is moving in that direction we know there's several males that have recently come out as either bisexual or pansexual um several males uh and so i'm i'm excited about that as is a heterosexual male i'm excited about that i'm just excited for like people living their true authentic self and i think that's what the lifestyle is about so i think it makes me proud to see the males who have obviously had those feelings for the bulk of their life finally be able to express them.
So I'm, like, proud of their confidence and their growth to be able to get to that point. Right. Now, as a heterosexual male, I will say I am super comfortable with close contact with males. And there's some shit that's just hot, right?
You can be heterosexual and think having two dicks and a vagina is hot because it is hot right we've done it several more than once right um it's a little harder than it sounds it's there's it's more for um the experience and less for like the pleasure but it is hot oh very i enjoy i enjoy it uh you know a girl sucking two dicks at the same time that's hot right you don't have to be you know bi or gay a male to think that that's hot right i think that's okay and you know as a heterosexual male i i think it's hot i think i enjoy it it's just because you're being naughty and i think you being naughty is hot yeah um you know dvp dp airtight uh you know two dicks in any hole is hot like all these things right Thank you.
naughty is hot yeah um you know dvp dp airtight uh you know two dicks in any hole is hot like all these things right the whole fun of being in this lifestyle and and doing group play is to try all these different new things that you can't do just alone with your partner um and i think this being open-minded is maybe like let go of the you know if you have some kind of homophobia, if you have you're scared of incidental touching, like relax, you're going to be OK. Right. It's not going to it's not going to change who you are.
Be confident in who you are and your sexuality and what you want and what you desire. And don't be scared of things. You know what I mean? And if it if it feels good and you're comfortable and you're okay with it, have at it. Right. But isn't, I guess, like, to me, the lifestyle is about experiences and being open-minded. I just, I guess I struggle with, like, why does the, like, line stop for some people? You know, like, it's, like, okay to be a swinger and it's okay to be naughty, but it's not okay. I don't know.
It's not okay to be a swinger and it's okay to be naughty but it's not okay i don't know it's not okay to be a bi male yeah no i i agree with what you're saying yeah and i think i think we're moving in the right direction i agree um i think it's all just social stigmas that have been you know around and unfortunately for males like being bisexual is just not socially accepted like it is for females um you know when there's this this, oh, you're not a man or, you know, all these kind of stigmas that are out there.
I just want everyone to live their true authentic self, whatever that may be, whatever you are, just do that. I agree, especially when it comes to sexuality, right? Like the whole, to me, you know, other than making babies, the whole point of sex is pleasure. The other point, right? One is making babies. The other side of it is having pleasure. So explore what's pleasurable to you and fuck what people think or say about it, right? And the worst case, you do something and you're like, eh, that wasn't really for me, right? That was all right, but nah, that's not really my thing.
Tried it, don't like it, moving on to on to another thing cool you know what I mean um and I think that's kind of the outlook we all have to don't take sex so seriously right like it's okay just to you know I mean to relax and enjoy yourself and then if you liked it keep it if you didn't like it move on to the next thing yeah um that's what we're all about and I I love i mean i feel like we're always trying new things we're all you know like i you know almost every podcast would be like oh we did this for the first time or we did that for the first time um and here we are you know seven years into this you know swinging and stuff like that and we're still almost every time we go to an event or go meet up with our friends we do something that's new and different um and that's what makes it fun it does i've you know been in that relationship you know where sex was missionary once a month or what you know i mean and that's that's not fun right that is not fun um so the whole point of this lifestyle is to kind of indulge in some of those fantasies and pleasures and i don't think you need to draw hard lines anymore i agree and be open-minded yep nobody wants those you know those people that are closed-minded like i don't want you around me like i don't want you in my circle you know i mean like so i think that's it uh that's all that's all i had for orgies what do you got any other advice we covered a lot of it um don't be afraid of them i guess this is my is my two cents they're a lot of fun um i genuinely enjoy it it's a way for me to play with multiple men slash women in the same night and have all these different experiences um especially for somebody like us who only swings like once a month you kind of jam pack a lot you can you can fit a lot into a weekend if you start doing group play yeah um well that's it's a good point because you know we've been doing this for a while now we've we have a pretty big circle of friends and if we went to an event and we're only going to play one-on-one with our friends it would take us a year to get through all the people we wanted to have sex with like yeah i mean i don't want to discredit like a couple swap because those are amazing and if there is a couple that we are super into and we need to make time to do that we absolutely will do that um but orgies are definitely a lot of fun and i very much enjoy them it's my favorite no that's that's 100 it is keeping keeping an open mind and uh don't be afraid i think i think most people right they say the number one fantasy in america is having a threesome yeah right it's like 93 or something of people in America admit that they'd like to have a threesome.
So go do it. If you need help, if you need to find an event, you can go to theswingnation.net. We've got a bunch of events. I promise you there's going to be orgies and threesomes at every single one of them. And there's going to probably be some people there that you'd like to have an orgy or threesome with. So you just got to make some connections, talk to some people, and make it happen. Yeah. It's a good time. Highly recommend. Five out of five. It's our favorite. Five out of five stars. Which is funny because I don't know how that happened for us. Like how we grabbed it.
It was a very natural thing.
Like somehow we just ended up being group play type of people never was our intention it just kind of happened yeah group play and i think open play like you know in in big rooms where people can watch and that's just kind of always been our thing and i don't know why either i do think there's something to be said for the it gives you an opportunity to have more experiences and shorter you know because again we only swim once a month so your opportunity to have experiences you know essentially one maybe two days a month is limited we have such a big friend group that you know the amount of people that we want to connect with is is large time is small so i think group play kind of makes the most sense uh but yeah i don't know it's just hard to beat um three four five hot couples in a room in a bed like i don't know how you you know and it it enhances like if me and you were having sex just hot people having sex in the same room as us enhances that experience you know i mean so then you do a couple swap with the other people in the room having sex it just you know now you're on a whole different planet yeah it very quickly gets uh gets very gets very exciting but yeah uh so that's it that's that's orgies in a nutshell uh i hope you all go out there i hope you all have an orgy i hope you all experience it at least once in your life you know if you enjoy it keep it doing it if you it.
If you don't, you know, move on to the next thing. Yeah. But, you know, it's definitely our forte. Yeah. All right. Anything else for the Swing Nation listeners? While they're listening to this, we will be at Hedo. We will be at Hedo. Hopefully getting lots of content.
We're going to try to do some behind the scenes stuff, get some videos, maybe a tour, sit down and talk to some of the leaders and owners there this is our first time we've taken a group to hito so it's a small group which i'm looking forward to i tell you i was just you know i haven't i haven't got into the group chat much you've been kind of managing that but there's some hot fucking people did you see that picture the other day that girl was like her boobs out it was very hot so i was excited about hedo but now that we've started talking to people that are going and stuff i'm more excited about hedo uh so yeah stay tuned to us follow us on social media we'll be posting keeping you update all things hedo um jamaica is going to be fun it's going to be a good experience uh and then uh we got a bunch of stuff coming up so uh you'll see us at Spells.
Atlanta will be at Naughty in New Orleans. We've got events. We've got the campground takeover in August. We've got another Secrets event coming up. So pretty much monthly from here until December, there's stuff going on within the Swinger Society across the country. So you definitely want to head over to swingersociety.net, swingersociety.net. Find an event near you and come hang out with us. Come party with us and our friends. We look forward to meeting you. I promise you this lifestyle is not as scary as you may think. So definitely you've got to put yourself out there.
That's step you know, that could, that could be step one, right? Get to know us on the internet, get to know the community on the internet and then come out to an event. Yeah. Discord is amazing. I think we're pushing like 26,000 people on there now. That was a quick, we went from 25 to 26. Like it seemed like overnight. Yeah. So if you don't know, discord is completely free. You just have to get verified so we can make sure you're of age to see all the naughtiness on there.
But once you get verified, it opens like basically an entire community that is ran by some awesome volunteers that volunteer just because they believe in what we're doing and what the community is doing. But it's a really amazing thing.
Discord can be very overwhelming and i get that we do have some awesome youtube videos on swinger society's youtube channel to kind of help you navigate that shout out to joe for making those videos for us um but i think if you can just get there it's a really great place to be um i would say if you need advice on like where to start on discord if you're going to an event find the event page or channel and just start there because it's really fun to kind of connect it's like basically a um like a rsvp list on steroids if that makes sense like instead of like looking at hot pictures like in a list you get to see people communicating and talking about outfits and what they're going to eat and what they're going to bring and dropping naughty pictures and making plans so it's really like a very interactive rsvp list so if you have to if you're overwhelmed by discord start there because that's what i did because i was very overwhelmed i started in some of those easier channels and then i felt more comfortable to kind of branch out so shout out to all the volunteers of discord for all your help um keeping that going without you there would be no discord so i very much appreciate all the help absolutely we love discord it you know it's crazy how it kind of started as just a whim and now it's grown into a whole like a whole thing yeah Yeah, so definitely check out Discord.
And, you know, it's crazy how it kind of started as just a whim and now it's grown into a whole, like a whole thing. Yeah. Yeah. So definitely check out Discord. All right. Anything else? That's it. All right, guys. I think with that, in a world full of apples. Be the pineapple. Be the pineapple, guys. Bye. Bye.
if you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us leave a five-star review wherever you're listening if you want to see more of our content you can find links to snapchat twitter instagram only fans and more in the show notes come join the conversation with us and other swinger content creators on our swinger society discord server if you questions or feedback, email them to us at theswingnation at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to theswingnation.net and keep up to date on all things Swing Nation. We thank you so much for joining us, and we'll see you next time. Goodbye.
