Send us Fan MailThe Swing Nation PodcastLifestyle Education: Answering the Hard Questions about Swinging | Episode 60In this swinger podcast episode, Dan and Lacy asked for some hard questions and their listeners brought the heat! Nothing was off the table; listen as they break down and explain some of the complicated questions about the lifestyle that you wanted answered. _______________- The Swing Nation -Main WebsiteQuick Navigation Website: -- (Find all our social media links more!)Follow us on Facebook!The Podcast Website_______________ - Swinger Society -Our Website to meet, connect eventsSwinger Society DiscordOur Facebook Group_______________ - Swinger Websites -SDCUsername: TheSwingNation** Use code 36313 for 14 days free! **SLSUsername: NorthernGuynSouthernGirl_______________ - Merch More -The Swing Nation MerchThe Swinger Pride FlagsSwinger Society Merch_______________ - Lacy’s Fun Links -VIP OnlyFansPREMIUM OnlyFans_______________ -- THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS --Shameless Care: ED Medication and at home STD testingUse Code TSN at checkout for $30 off your order!Promescent® Make Love Longer, It’s Time for Great SexUse Code SwingNation for 5% off!Pinaq Liqueur; The Official Drink of The Swing NationUse Code TSN at checkout for 15% off!Non-monogamy Couples Course and Single Guy Mastery CourseUse Code ATLANTA for 50% off!Support the show- Thank you for the support! -
Transcript
This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. Welcome to the Swing Nation podcast, a podcast by swingers for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle.
Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe, interview the experts, learn and grow together. Join the nation. Most people have unprotected oral sex, right? Be honest. Now think about your last STD test. Did your doctor tickle your throat with something that looked like a giant Q-tip? Probably not. Yet, that's the only way to check for oral gonorrhea or chlamydia, which are often asymptomatic. You need a better doctor. You need shamelesscare.com. Use coupon code TSN at checkout. So, Lacey, people are asking, how do they get to go to a party or an event with us?
They check out swingersociety.net. You create a profile, you sign up for an event, and you come hang out with us. It's super easy. That's right. If you want to party with us and the other faces and names that you know from social media and TikTok, head on over to swingersociety.net. Can't wait to see you there. Lacey, we get approached by couples all the time, and they want to know, like, where can they learn the one-on-ones of non-monogamy? Yeah, I totally get it. You want to get in the lifestyle, but you just don't know where to start. We recommend Sex by Sue's class on non-monogamy.
She really helps couples learn how to communicate and do the lifestyle the correct way. Yeah, I think this lifestyle, you know, it's crucial not to step on the landmines that a lot of us do. Yeah. And you kind of learn the hard way, you know. So having a class that you can take online, you know, in the privacy of your own home and kind of learn the ins and outs, learn, you know, how to approach the lifestyle, how to communicate with your partner about it. You know, I think it's something worth taking and we highly recommend it. Yeah. So I'll see you next time.
home and kind of learn the ins and outs, learn, you know, how to approach the lifestyle, how to communicate with your partner about it. Um, you know, I think it's something worth taking and we highly recommend it. Yeah. So click below in the show notes, you'll find this link for that course. Check it out guys. Bye.
hey there pineapple people and welcome to the swing nation podcast we are your hosts northern guy and southern girl today's episode we're gonna answer some questions for you we are so we needed an idea for this week and i was like what about a q a and you were like well i was like we've answered all the like what other questions are there like yeah like i could list the questions that people are going to ask us i already know them yeah like do why do we not live together how'd you get in the lifestyle how do you not get jealous what about stds yeah like all those we knew so i went to tiktok and was like okay guys i need questions but i need not your typical questions not the ones you ask us every time so we got a pretty good list yeah this is not this is not a bad i was skeptical i'm not gonna lie okay this whole idea of doing another q and a this is what this is like a little bit of backstory into our lives i have these great ideas and dan's like go for it i believe in you and then i fail you know that's true and then i get mad at you because I failed and you didn't believe in me.
Because that's why you failed, right? Yeah, it's all your fault. So this time I didn't fail, did I? You didn't fail, I don't think. I actually haven't super read into all of these. But I looked through them briefly and they have some different questions. I think I did a good job. They're not the typical questions, which is refreshing for me.
I'm actually excited to talk about some of these things because I don't think we've talked about them before yeah which that in itself is refreshing so what you're saying is I did a good job I'm saying there's a chance you did a good job okay let's go okay so question number one is it the actual pleasure you seek most or is it just the rush of the whole thing I love this question you love this question well because it honestly I had to stop and think about it and i actually when we were prepping for this i actually read that question to you and you said i don't know how i'd answer that yeah it's an interesting question so i think essentially what they're asking is do you do this for the sex or do you do it for the like the rush of the experience yeah right like so my answer is both yeah for me um I and I've openly talked about this I like swinging because it's not typical not everybody does it it's like me being naughty I will say going public has taken some of that away from me now it's a double-edged sword i like that we went public i like that we're standing up for our community i love all the things we're doing so that kind of off ways off however you say that that kind of fixes the fact that offsets you offsets it yeah that kind of you know does that so it's not as bad like i'm okay with i'm okay not having as much of a rush knowing i'm doing good for our community does that make sense yes We'll see you next time.
does that so it's not as bad like i'm okay with i'm okay not having as much of a rush knowing i'm doing good for our community does that make sense yes but i mean like i i love the naughty like the sneaking around aspect because like you're before everyone knew we were a swinger we would like sneak off for the weekend and then come back and i loved that yeah now everybody knows everybody knows like let's use out being a hoe your mom yeah but i loved that before i also do love the pleasure i mean like really no one pleases me the way that you do and i'm not just saying that because we're on a podcast i mean it's it's true however other people pleasing you is extremely hot it It's again, goes back to the naughtiness of it.
You're not supposed to enjoy pleasure from others. So that makes it naughty. That makes that pleasure more fun for me. So I have, so it's both for me. Yeah.
Well, I, I think the pleasure is, you know, part of the enjoyment of it is you, you know, having multiple people involved and maybe a new person is excited yeah I mean so all of that I think is part of it um and I guess yeah I mean I don't know going to clubs and things and having you know a hundred people all running around naked and doing you know I mean like the whole experience is an experience you know I mean so yeah I think I enjoy both the experience of it the rush of it so to speak the way they they worded it but i also enjoy the when we get intimate time with people that's also usually pretty pretty good and fun so yeah i don't think it's one or the other i think it's a combination of both and um i don't know i don't think you really can do one without the other right i don't think you could really separate those but okay so question if if swinging becomes socially acceptable let's just say in a perfect world right um i don't think we'll ever get there but if it becomes socially acceptable is it gonna lose its interest for you no i don't think i'm like i think hooking up with people on tinder is socially acceptable that doesn't mean it's not still like you don't get a rush and it's not still fun you know i mean like there are lots of socially acceptable funds things that you can still do and enjoy you know i think you'd still have that newness feeling that this is different that you know this is a new person that kind of the butterflies you get of chasing you know that whole chase i think all those things still exist um even if it's socially acceptable and then you don't have to worry about getting fired from your job so honestly that's probably a better word yeah and then to add on to that not only is my pleasure fun but watching you receive pleasure is really hot for me because like when we're in the moment i know that you're enjoying something like if it's just the two of us i know that you're enjoying it super hot but it's also for me super hot to sit back and watch you just genuinely enjoy yourself of course i'm a watcher you're not really a watcher so you may have a different opinion than i do but i love watching you give and receive pleasure that's super hot i i think you know and why I guess I like doing this is there's just there's things you can do in groups of people that you cannot do with two people.
Like you just can't and you can't. I don't care. You can watch, you know, stuff on, you know, videos and things. You can you can role play. But that's that's never going to give you the same experience and same feelings. It's actually doing those things give you. And I think if you and your partner are on the same page and you have clear boundaries and you're respectful of your partner in the way that you do it, I think it's okay to indulge in that and enjoy it and not be embarrassed by that.
I think, honestly, I think most people, if you were able to, you know, hide their, you know, if they were able to answer the question honestly and not fear reprisal a lot of people would probably say that they're curious about doing those types of things or those things are exciting and interesting to them and you know if it was a perfect world where they could do it nobody would ever find out or not be judged right i think a lot of people would probably try it you know what i mean and in i guess my hope is that one day we get to a world where you know if it's consenting adults doing consenting adult things and they want to do it and they can do it safely and and respectfully and with you know boundaries and all that stuff i don't see any reason why um everybody can indulge in that that wants to so that's my that's my feelings on it okay i think that's getting good answer um okay so question number two and this is kind of we get this all the time right yeah but it's also we do get this all the time but we've never really openly talked about it so i thought it was good to include right so how can you morally do what you do which is i kind of also included it because i was asked this question this week um like on a personal level i was asked this and um so it's definitely a thought-provoking question because i think a lot of morals are subjective yeah are subject to the person yeah what my morals are may not align with someone else's and i think that's where i think that's where people don't understand like morally i don't feel like i'm doing anything wrong i have the consent of my husband i have the consent of the other couple so where i don't feel like that's wrong to me things that are wrong are murder lying stealing hurting cheating stealing those type of things are morally not correct you shouldn't be doing those to me having sex with another couple everybody's consenting there's nothing wrong with that and i think that's the difference i think that's where i think everyone assumes that everybody's morals are the exact same yeah no and i i think you know maybe where you might get a little fuzzier is once you start getting into like the OnlyFans stuff and the sharing stuff, you know, and what we put on Twitter and Instagram, you know, and I think it all gets back to the same place, though, is there's nothing wrong with that.
It's not illegal. Because it doesn't align with your morals or it doesn't align with your religion or it doesn't align with your belief doesn't mean that we're doing something immoral, right? Yeah. Just because it doesn't align with what you believe in doesn't mean that for us it's immoral. Yeah, and I guess I wish that everyone could just worry about themselves. I don't know how else to say it.
Like if everyone would just stay in their own lane, worry about themselves, worry about what like i don't know how else to say it like if everyone would just stay in their own lane worry about themselves worry about what like affects them personally and let everything else like let everyone else do whatever they want to do like as long as they're not hurting you what does it matter yeah no and that's i'm on the same page when when you know people that are allegedly your friends or family want to try to control you to a point to what you're doing in a bedroom or in in a private space whether it's a club or you know whatever the case it's not in your face right and even even the only fan stuff right you have to go to our page you have to subscribe you have to pay and then a lot of times you have to pay then to unlock something else and if you do all that and then you disagree with what you see like that's on you that's not on me you know what I mean like you did that like we didn't do that we didn't force you to do that we didn't make you subscribe we didn't make you pay for the subscription and then pay to unlock a video or a picture like if you did all that and then somehow you want to get on your moral you know soapbox and say like I cannot believe you did this so immoral it's like like well then don't go look at it what are you doing and like and so we have instagram we have twitter we have facebook and you know in my opinion what we post in there is not that bad am i in lingerie am i like you know is it suggestive nudity yes but am i butt naked on any kind of social media that's not behind a paywall?
No. Right. Not at all. I guess my argument would be, even if you were, if you wanted to be, that's your decision. But that's my point. You know, that's my point. Like, that's my decision. And so, like, for me morally, I don't want to give it away for free. So, I'm not going to put a picture of me. So, like, that would be my morals. That would be something that I'm comfortable with. Right. But that doesn't, the next girl next to me might be totally fine with that. And that is absolutely her or his prerogative. They can do whatever they want. Right. It's not hurting me. No.
And it's, I think, you know, what we need to recognize is this varies by culture. It varies by region. It varies by, you know, what your religious background or beliefs are. You know, there are several cultures where, you know, being a, you know, having sex for money might be, you know, something that you are morally okay with. And there are several people that feel that way. And that's fine. It's up to you, right? Just because it's different than what you believe doesn't make it wrong. Right. The whole projecting your beliefs on others is where it becomes an issue. Yeah.
that babe high five good job baby whoo okay number three can a job fire you for finding out about you being in the lifestyle so jobs a lot of employers have what they call a morality clause i had never heard of that prior to getting involved in all this prior to being public i had never heard i mean like i had always heard you could get fired for being a swinger and stuff like that but i never i didn't really know much about it yeah and so again i have mixed feelings on this right because i do believe that private companies have the right to if they think you are misrepresenting their brand right and it has a negative effect on their corporation or their branding that they have every right to say we no longer want to work with you right um my my problem though is in this case is for me it should only be if if you're publicly representing that company in the role right so if If I was to, you know put on um a shirt that said the corporation i work for and then go out and advocate for swinging the company should be able to fire me because i'm tying their brand to this activity that i'm doing right um where my problem is is i don't think public corporations companies jobs governments um should be able to control what I do privately in my home, right?
Yeah. And that's where it starts to become an issue for me. Yeah. So, personally, someone reached out to my previous employer. I've since left that job. And sent in my OnlyFans. And basically, like, screenshots of it. And they basically said that I was representing that company while I was on that website. And so they had to subscribe. They had to open an investigation to determine if I was doing that or not. And of course, I was not doing that. But they had to reach out to me.
Luckily, I work for a pretty liberal company based out of California, you know, I'm in the deep South, but they pretty liberal company um based out of California you know I'm in the deep south but they the company was based out of California so they reached out to me and you know they said basically they had to tell me that they had subscribed they had looked they had opened an investigation they did determine that nothing that they saw was I wasn't doing anything wrong basically that at my own time I could do whatever i choose and so uh i was fine i was good to go it didn't make for a uncomfortable work right and that's the next problem is then you know your work environment became uncomfortable some would even argue hostile and then yeah because honestly i don't know who sent that i don't know who sent it and who they sent it to did they send it to my direct supervisor did they send it to the girl that sat next to me like I didn't know who knew and he didn't know so it was very very odd I did end up leaving because I just it wasn't a good situation for me to be in um but we we personally know a lot of people that have um lost their jobs because of swinger being a swinger we know um we went to naughty in new orleans there was a podcaster that he um was called in and basically they terminated him because they had found his podcast yeah um now i think he was able to get like a pretty good severance package i think he had been there long enough and was like this isn't right you need to all right you this right, but I'll leave.
Yeah, and the issue is a lot of these companies have these morality clauses, one. And then, two, there's several states that are just what they call an at-will state, which means they can fire you for any reason. They don't really have to tell you why they fired you, right? So if they find this out, and if they're an at-will state, they can just flat- flat out fire you and they owe you no justification as to why. So it really, you know, gives employers opportunities to discriminate against people that are non-monogamous because there really is no recourse for that person.
And I think that being in the lifestyle, I think this is one of the top reasons why people are so private.
I think, you know, obviously the stigma around it, but your employer, I mean, it's a huge concern, especially when you get into jobs, um, like teachers and high up like political officials or even low, you know, even if you're in a small town, a low person, you know, if you have 10, 20 years invested into a job and then end up getting fired, like, I mean, that's, that's your whole your whole life you know what i mean and so it's unfortunate that these employers are able to essentially control your personal life yeah in ways because you're afraid of retribution from you know being outed and like you said yeah it's crazy that it's 2022 and there's still hundreds thousands millions of people that are living in the closet and don't want people to know about their their true lifestyle and the way they're living their life because they're afraid afraid of retribution from from that being found out yeah and that's why we're working with the national coalition for sexual freedom that's why we're on tiktok we are trying to fix some of this now will we be able to fix it all probably not but we're gonna give it one hell of a try i mean yeah so the really the only way to fix it is then to put some kind of legislation in place it says Thank you.
we be able to fix it all probably not but we're gonna give it one hell of a try i mean yeah so the really the only way to fix it is then to put some kind of legislation in place that says hey you know you cannot fire somebody because of these reasons right and the whole idea of sexual freedom is that you have the right to do whatever you want in your bedroom uh you know between consenting adults and the government and employers can't discriminate against you because of that information. Yeah. And that's what sexual freedom is.
And that's, it's not, it's a right that you currently don't have that several people think you should have. And I think we're, we're two of those people. Yes, absolutely. Okay. Question number four.
how do you turn down someone that expresses interest but you're not interested back so like a couple reaches out to us and we're not interested in them yeah so this is this is hard right this isn't we struggle with this it isn't easy right um and especially i don't for whatever reason the more public we've gone it seems like more and more people are becoming interested in us for whatever reason probably just because more people know we exist than in the past but i don't know maybe some people have some kind of podcaster um fetish or something i don't know what the case may be but we've had several in the the funny part is a lot of people that reach out to us are like in California and all these other places.
And it's like, hey, you seem like a fun couple. Yeah, you're like thousands of miles away. It's just not going to work. Yeah, so let's go back pre-podcast. I guess that's probably a better way to answer this. We were not the best at this.
Now, we can tell you what we did and we can tell you the right way okay i mean do you agree yeah i mean i think i think i know what you're gonna say but go ahead we tended to just kind of slowly back away from couples like okay so there's two type of things if someone messages on sls sdc was like hey we think you're a good looking couple we would like to exchange pictures or whatever if we weren't interested we a lot of times just wouldn't respond One more time. less SDC. It was like, Hey, we think you're a good looking couple. We would like to exchange pictures or whatever.
If we weren't interested, we, a lot of times just wouldn't respond, which people criticize people for that. A lot of people say you should respond to everyone. And I get that. And I think that that's probably a true statement because if you, you want to treat others the way you want to be treated.
So if we message a hot couple and we were super excited to get a response back and then we just never got a response back now that sucks um but a lot of people think you should say thanks but no thanks yeah no you don't you don't really know because you don't run those pages but i'd say i'm i'm probably about 50 50 for whether i would write them back and say hey, sorry, I don't think we're a fit, but best of luck to you. I would do that probably half of the time. The other half of the time, I just would not respond. Let me explain to you all what he's saying.
Basically, he pretty much logs into all the websites and responds to people. Right. Now, I did do it a few weeks ago for you, and I responded to everybody. So I think now – I had asked you. I think I was like swamped. I'm like, babe, we have like 100 messages on SLS.
Can you go through and now we always say thank you because people are our supporters they're coming to say they love our podcast they're coming to say you know i still don't respond to half the single dudes because oh yeah they don't count well because here's the thing sorry single dude no you do count you do count but you know what i mean well no in our profile it says we are not interested in single guys and if we are we'll reach out to you so if they message us they obviously didn't they've already violated our rule so i don't i don't feel necessary you know i don't feel the need to respond to every single one of them so first part of that if they're just messaging you on a swingers app that is up to you if you would like to respond to them and say thanks to no thanks or if you just leave them on read so that's up to you right now to me that's the easier part right i've it's very easy for me to respond to somebody and say hey sorry we're not interested super easy the next prop the next step is okay we've exchanged pictures you appear to be a decent looking couple you know okay let's move this conversation to kick and you move over to kick or discord or discord sorry discord and you start chatting like in a group messaging because we do all of our messaging in a group messaging and they start showing us pictures and they don't really look like their pictures or like maybe after talking to them their play style is different than our i mean there could be so many different factors i don't want to just or they just come across as like annoying yeah i mean i don't want to put it just on appearance because there can be a lot of different factors other than appearance you can just like maybe like she's like this girl's a bitch or like you know i don't like this dude is super annoying or he comes on too strong or you know maybe they play separate and you didn't realize that until after you started chatting or you know there's a lot of factors there so let's just say we're not interested anymore the correct thing to do is to treat people the way that you'd want to be treated right right and say now i think if it was like a our play like if they were wanting to play separately i think we would say yeah hey sorry we don't do that it's probably gonna work for us right correct um where it's difficult as if she's a bitch or he's annoying or you don't want to say that right you don't want to be like hey i'm sorry but your wife's a bitch this probably isn't gonna work you know like or it's just hard to like so what we have tend to do is just kind of let the conversation fizzle itself out you know like we're not rude we're like hey but we also don't plan anything right so we're not actively like what are y'all doing friday night um we just kind of are casually you know let it die on the vine yeah yeah like we don't we don't interact with them without them speaking to us first so like they'll come in and be like happy friday i'm like oh happy friday and then we might not hear to them and for another week and they're like it's titty tuesday hey and then you say hello um whereas if we were really interested in a couple we would definitely be keeping the conversation going right does that make sense yes that makes sense i would even go though now it's just so hard for us to find time yeah so now that that's definitely pre everything now we barely have time to read all of our group messages so i try sometimes i definitely feel like on a personal level like people that i'm super into i feel like i don't i don't respond enough like you've even gotten like said stuff to me like you have to like kind of flirt and stuff and i'm like well i said good or i said okay i didn't you know i just i think we're just gotten to the point we're so busy that it's really hard to engage to engage at this point but it's not so if you're listening to this you have a group message with us and we don't actively engage it really is not you i don't i can't think of anybody that we're currently if we're talking to you at this point it's probably because we like you yeah yeah um yeah i can't think of anybody at this point that we just like respond to no um no so that would be my answer treat others the way that you would want to be treated i've heard i've heard some horror stories of somebody saying like being really specific right like you smell funny or you know you know i don't like the way your nose looks yeah i mean i just i feel like we can be kind to one another now we now so that's how we do it there's the right way really is to say hey we're sorry this doesn't seem to be a match you know yeah like hey we've got to know you a little bit now uh you know we personally don't think it's going to be a good match.
Best of luck to you in the future. That would be the right way to do it. That would be the right way. Because there's always that couple that does not give a hint, right? Yeah.
Another way we've heard people say to do it in the past, this is kind of not being honest but kind of being kind, is say like, hey, after you remind me of my cousin or you remind me of my brother or you know i've said that about somebody and really meant it right but i've heard that and so now i kind of i'm cautious to say that because i don't want somebody to think yeah because like i've met people that like i think they're like an awesome person but they kind of like are more of like a brother or a friend than like a sexual partner to me. And I and I don't mean that in a negative way.
It is, you know. So I felt that way. But now I'm scared to say that. Yeah. All right. I think we crushed that. OK. I think now we need to do is go and take a little break and listen to the partners and sponsors of the Swing Nation podcast. OK. And then when we come back, we got some more some more hard-hitting questions to answer yes all right we'll be right back guys anxiety can cause ed like the kind you get while watching your partner with someone else you're having the time of your life, yet are having stage fright. Most men in the lifestyle use prescription ED medication for this reason.
Shameless Care should be your provider. Shameless is less expensive than other companies and has a 50-state network of physicians who are lifestyle-friendly. Use coupon code TSN for $ an official partnership with SDC.com. SDC stands for Seek, Discover, Connect. And with over 3 million members in over 50 countries, it's the world's largest lifestyle community and a great place to link up with open-minded couples, singles, and kinksters from around the globe. Whether you're just starting your own business or you're just starting your globe.
Whether you're just starting your lifestyle journey or you're an old pro, SDC has something to offer you. With chat rooms, live cams, groups, and blogs, there's always naughty fun to be found. SDC.com also has expert advice, professional articles, and entertaining content to enhance your erotic lifestyle journey. With information about parties, events, clubs, and businesses, STC is so much more than just a hookup site for swingers. It's truly an epicenter that can keep you plugged into the pulse of the lifestyle community in your area.
We personally love the website's ease of use and amazing customer support. They have supported us in our podcast and giving generous donations to our charity fundraising efforts. So if you're looking to connect with like-minded people, click the link in our show notes and sign up for STC using our affiliate link and receive a full access for 14 days completely free. Make sure you join the Swing Nation STC group and send us a message. We here at the Swing Nation podcast are proud to partner with Promescent. Listen, guys, we've all been there.
You're having a hot night with a hot chick, maybe a few hot chicks, but you need to kind of delay the time before you pull that trigger. That's where Promescent comes in. They have this awesome product called the Delay Spray.
You literally spray it on and it delays the time that you orgasm so you can make sure that your partner is well taken care of and as swingers we're all about making sure our partners are well taken care of and promescent delay spray is the perfect product for that click the link in the show notes below to get yours today okay so the next question is if you and your spouse no longer wanted to be part of the lifestyle what would happen we get this question a lot yeah people are very concerned that like if you enter the lifestyle and then one of you decides that you don't want to do anymore like does that mean you get divorced yeah or is there like an expiration date like at some point is there like a cutoff like it we turned 75 and we cannot swing anymore because now we're 75 that seems to be like a hot button but i guess we've answered that like in tiktok lives and stuff but we really haven't ever answered it like through this like just you and i chatting okay what do.
What do you think? I think people are curious. I was reading in a group that will go unnamed. They said that they felt like if I asked you to stop in lifestyle that you would not, that was a criticism. Yeah. So, so like again, complete transparency, right? Lacey's tried to quit the lifestyle before. I have.
I think maybe even times I've tried to quit the the lifestyle before right um typically what this looks like for us is we are fighting about something that has maybe nothing to do with the lifestyle money or you didn't take all the trash or kids who knows right all the things that husband and wives talk about and sometimes we'll use the lifestyle yes as a weapon yes and kind of say well then you're not going to be able to fuck anybody or like we're not going to go to this party then and you know or no let me correct you here okay correct me one of our 101 rules that we've had since day one is if we are not getting along we don't swing right we are not gonna walk into a party and be in an argument and like leave it at the door and pretend like everything's okay no no i agree with that because that's going to start a fight so there have been times where we've gotten into an argument leading up to an event and let's be super honest i struggle with anxiety so leading up to events i tend to be a little snappy a little stressed out and so i'm glad you recognize that now um when you're in clear um and so i tend to get frustrated and then we get snappy with one each other and then i'm like well we can't go we can't be swingers if we can't get along so i think a lot of times it does get brought up with that no i i agree with that but then there are other times separate from that where we're not like about to go to a party where you've been like i just don't want to do this anymore i quit or whatever the case may be yeah um and i think you know generally what happens is we just end up talking about it and we're kind of at the when we make up we're like i didn't really mean that i know you didn't mean that i didn't mean that you know i mean and that's that's what happens i don't think either one of us has ever genuinely tried to quit like or wanted to quit i should say wanted wanted to quit um the lifestyle so i think a big answer to this is it would be it would take a genuine i would have to trust like i would have to know that that you were being if you if i felt like you were being genuine yeah and that you just were done with this and i also think what it what cause the event to say while we're leaving for example if one of us became ill right 100 it would be no question it would be no question we would absolutely um step away but here is the thing for me we have very much ingrained our lives into this we obviously have a podcast you're listening to us um we host events we do all kinds of things i could see us taking a step back from the lifestyle but i can't i can't imagine not being intertwined in it somehow like i think we would always be like we have so many lifelong friends i think those would remain i think we would still have our pocket i think we would still host events but maybe we didn't events.
Maybe it looks different, but I can't imagine us to ever not being on the lifestyle. No, I think if – the only reason I see us taking a break is medical issues or just some kind of personal issue like coming up.
And even then, I think we would take where we didn't engage, we didn't play, we weren't active, but we would probably still be active in the community yeah you know because i believe in the lifestyle i genuinely believe and like my best friends are in the lifestyle and the people i care about the most are in the lifestyle so i can't imagine just being like peace out we're done you know see on the flip side i can't imagine that i get though for a typical swinger that that probably looks separate than us so but either way regardless for me personally i will say this if you came to me and said i'm tired of this i'm done i would say okay right i love you our relationship means the most to me this is second i mean obviously not second but this takes a back burner to our relationship and so this relationship is first and foremost yeah and i think a lot of people struggle with that they feel like you can't you can't have it can't be it has to be one or the other yeah i think for me if you came to me and said that i wouldn't just be like okay i'd be like you know explain to me like where's this coming from right why are you feeling that way like what and depending on that conversation i think would be yeah whether you know i i wanted to leave i think that's a genuine answer because i think that shows our differences and that's okay like we don't have to be the exact same um but i think that just shows that we are different right yeah my i don't think mine would be a no questions asked i think it would be a well explain this to me like what why are you like what would be like okay but can i still get cute outfit can we still go to parties can i still dress up baby you can always dress up thank you you can be 80 years old and still wearing your little your little tights and skirts tights and skirts whatever you wear okay so next one i love this one does it get exhausting talking about sex all the time i know it's your work but just wondering i don't feel like we talk about sex all the time i feel like we talk around sex all the time yeah because like i really this was another one kind of like that first one i really thought hard about it i don't feel like i do yeah you know i think we talk about sex in very broad we had coffee you know like but also sex is a big part of my life like i think about sex a lot like i love it i mean it is like i get questions asked like how do you have a sex drive that you know like do you struggle i don't and i don't know if that means i'm like a superwoman or i don't super freak yeah i don't know what that means but like i enjoy it it's a healthy natural thing i think as a country as a society we could probably talk about it more so i don't know if maybe i'm just not bothered by it but i don't i don't think we talk about it that much that's just me though i'm sure somebody else yeah i think if anything i want to talk about it more like i think we could delve into you know i mean like i think sex is a fascinating thing i think what turns people on is fascinating what you know like all of it is our podcast compared to some other podcasts we definitely downplay the sex yeah i think so too so i definitely think that we could talk about it more and also like when i do tiktok's lives and stuff i don't we just can't we just can't we talk like that's why my answer was we talk around sex whether we talk about yeah so i don't know that's my that's i know so my answer is no agreed um how do you get comfortable talking about the lifestyle so many people hate on it i personally find it attractive that you support each other i believe in it well i think it's it's been a it's been a journey for us i think you are way more comfortable here a year into this than you were a year ago well it's a thousand it's been a year and a half right yes you wouldn't even say you were bisexual for the first eight months you know six eight months you're correct about that yeah um definitely have learned about it but it's kind of like a salesman you know like if they believe in what they're selling it's not really selling I kind of feel that way about the lifestyle I believe in it I think it works for certain people so for me at this point in my life I don't have any problem I can you know and what's funny is when we we got outed and people in our lives started coming to us and we're like oh my god you're you're a swinger i can't believe it it was very easy for us to have these very hard conversations because i had literally been on tiktok live day in and day out justifying my lifestyle.
So I was ready. I was prepared. Yeah, not only justifying it, but justifying it to people who did not give a shit about you, right? Yeah. People that were actively attacking you and trying to tear you apart. Yeah. So if you can talk to those people and talk intelligently and respectfully and lay it out.
it out yeah you know having a conversation with people that actually genuinely care about you and are interested in your well-being and actually you know want you to succeed in life that's an easy conversation right because they're not attacking they're not on the attack they're not trying to tear you down these are people that love and care about you so having conversations with them about it is so much easier than having conversations with strangers that yeah are coming at you from a negative place yeah and to be honest with you i've been a little frustrated with myself lately because i do feel on my tiktok lives lately that i feel i catch myself being frustrated i can feel it in my body i can feel it in my body language because at some point it does get very frustrating.
Like constantly day in and day out having to justify something that you feel is absolutely okay. It gets exhausting, but I also still very much believe in it. So I've been working on checking my attitude a bit, but that's hard. I mean, it's hard.
i think it's it's worth talking about that when you're always in the defense right yeah you know okay i'm about to get on here there's going to be at least 300 people and probably 100 of them are going to be coming at me in a negative light it's like right it's easy to get snippy and snappy and agitated and irritated and it's so easy to do that and so like i don't think anybody can fault you for that but i think it shows they do it shows growth that you're saying okay i'm trying to represent this lifestyle in a positive light so by me getting irritated by these people that's like i should not like them affect me because then maybe not being as positive as i should so i've gotten to the point where if i really feel like i'm super frustrated i will end the life i will take a break i can you know i'm very self-aware i feel maybe others might not think that but sometimes i can i can know i can feel it inside that this is not going to be a good day or i can tell by the audience sometimes there there's a ton of trolls and they're really coming at me other times it's light and positive so I definitely I'm not going to put myself in a situation that is not good for my mental health so if I feel like I'm just super defensive and I'm having to you know like really argue and justify I'll stop it I'll end the life you get frustrated with me sometimes but I'm like my mental health and my mental well-being is way more important yeah i i get frustrated because i in my you know you see them as trolls and i should ignore them well i see it as they are winning right yeah like that and that's i feel like that's what they want like they want to come in here they want to disrupt you they want they want to throw you off your your game and they almost want you to quit right so i think sometimes i think i feel like by giving that into them yeah we've like lost see i feel like i'm but you're right i i totally see your point and i don't think i think both of us part of both of our points are valid yeah no for sure 100 it's you it's your mental health if you need to take a break i support you yeah it doesn't mean i don't get frustrated no i mean we both get frustrated for different reasons for the same reason i totally get it so so thank you for saying i think this com this question came across very nice like you basically said that you find it attractive how we support you know each other and you know our lifestyle so thank you for that that means i'm doing something right yeah okay so talk about couples that swing with couples also get jealous when said couple finds interest in another couple so that's kind of hard when you read it but basically let's just say for example we really enjoy playing with this hot couple and we've been having lots of coffee with them it's good good and then they go off and play with someone else and then we're jealous yeah it happens all the time it happens all the time it's such a natural it happens to us and it's we just don't tell anybody jealousy it's a human emotion just like anger just like fear just like sadness right jealousy is a human emotion yeah when you have a couple you like and you enjoy and you go to a club maybe one night and you know they're going to be there and then all of a sudden they're in a playroom with a different couple feeling jealous is that's okay like that's it's like more of like a bummer right and like i mean i guess yeah it is jealousy but it's for me personally i'm not like how dare they it's more like some couples do get like that yeah and i think that's something we should talk about after we talk about this because that is really important but like i definitely feel bummed because i really like them but i guess guess for me personally, I have enough knowledge, self-awareness that, like, I'm like, okay, well, they're not mine.
Right. I have no rights to them. They can do whatever they want. Right. However, it's very, very common in the lifestyle for couples to – To get snippy with each other for stuff like that. Yeah. It's very common. Like, one couple almost, like, they're owning another couple.
another couple like that's our couple calling dibs is another thing um that's definitely a learned you know you you have to learn how to deal with those emotions and kind of know your place would you agree no i i think you know we're going to sound like a broken record it all comes back to communication right because here's the thing if you were, if you're super in this couple and you're going to a club on Saturday night and in your mind, you know, that means you're going to play with this couple that's your friends or whatever.
And that ends up not happening because they go with, they end up with a different couple is, well, you probably, did you even tell them? Did you, did you even know what their plans were? Did you, you know, maybe they invited this other couple that you didn't, you know, like maybe they had already had plans with another couple. Right. So if you don't communicate that to them. That's why you should never assume. Right. Yeah. You should never assume. Which I think there's a lot of assumptions in the lifestyle. We've probably done it too. I don't think anybody intends to do it. It just happens.
So I think communicating. The thing about me and you, I would never go and tell a couple I felt that way. Like to me, that would be embarrassing tell you i'm like i totally wanted to play with them i know me too damn it next time you know but i'm not going to go up to and be like you hurt my feelings because you play with someone else to me i think that's like drama induced it's just not necessary you know i just we we have if it wasn't communicated prior to that was my fault for Yeah.
But I mean, those are all complex emotions that, you know, in the moment, especially when there's alcohol involved, you know, it can happen. It's just part of it. Right. And again, you got to communicate. You got to work through it. You got to, you got to, you know, be the bigger person. You got to, you know, rise above. Yeah. We have one more. Can we do it? We got time for it. We got all the time. Okay.
We got it we got all the time okay oh we do yeah how does a couple not be labeled as unicorn hunters when the woman is looking to explore her bisexual side in the lifestyle yeah so this whole unicorn hunting thing is definitely there's like a stigma around it i guess yeah and and probably maybe even rightfully so um and i i think a lot of polyamorous people use that yeah label um and because and i i get it in their lifestyle because they're looking for a more of an emotional connection all right so if you're just trying to find a chick and have sex with her and like toss her aside i get why there's a negative stigma associated with that right um I'll see you next time.
emotional connection right so if you're just trying to find a chick and have sex with her and like toss her aside i get why there's a negative stigma associated with that right um i think in our lifestyle in the swinger lifestyle unicorns if they're entering in this space they should have some understanding um that that's the idea is that they're going to engage with sex with a couple and that's what it is. Right. It's not, I guess. Okay. So I'm going to be like, what bothers me about couples that just look for unicorns is I feel like a lot of couples go into the lifestyle.
We're just going to find a girl. We're just going to hook up with girls. It's going to be so easy. Yeah.
I'm not going to watch my wife watch my wife get fucked but i'm going to fuck a girl you know and like for some reason that gets under my skin yeah i think i imagine you think it's a chauvinistic move yeah i don't like it yeah um and i think they come in like cocky how can i find a unicorn oh my wife needs a you know and it pisses me off because i'm like i get mad at the man because i'm like well if you get to fuck the unicorn by gosh she better be fucking somebody too you know like yeah so you see it is very much a male ego kind of yeah and i don't like that now now if it's genuine the other way then great good for you you know i don't have any problems with anybody wanting a unicorn hell we want a unicorn i think it'd be fun yeah um but i think those couples to me a unicorn hunter i don't know that i'm sure there's a definition somewhere but in my mind that's the couple that the guy doesn't want to share his wife and that's his easy way to get laid and not cheat on his wife right and i i also see it as a couple you know the stigma i i hear is that it's like they use her and throw her away kind of thing right yeah um and i think you know which honestly if they find a good unicorn they shouldn't be throwing nobody away those are those things are hard to find keeper i agree i agree uh yeah and i think you know the cures to all that is communication right so if you do find a unicorn what are you looking for do you want a long-term thing yeah do you emotions evolved do you not want emotions evolved like how you know like are we a match are we not a match and i also agree with what you're saying um you know a lot of couples do start with unicorns because it's a safe way women are by seems to be a lot of more bisexual women in lifestyle and obviously men are interested in playing with you know two girls at the same time so um i don't know how you end the stigma i think we all just have to act right act a little better yeah be respectful yeah i will say as a unicorn a previous awesome unicorn that i was until she has three fireball shots and she thinks she is um i i felt like everybody was a unicorn hunter like now looking back i mean they probably all weren't but like it seemed to me like everybody was i think that sounds so conceited but like it didn't matter what i look i don't mean that because of the way my appearance or my body or anything like i mean like i just felt like everybody wanted a single female and it did not matter what i look like you know know, I could have two heads and they're like, she's good to go.
She's a unicorn. Yeah. So I felt like everybody, like I felt very sought after. Yeah. And I think, you know, if you are a single female and you're hearing these, you know, Lacey talk about this, what you should walk away from this is be selective. Yeah. I wish that I would have been more selective. If you are a single female in this lifestyle, and especially if you're grounded and you are mentally stable and attractive. Yeah. You are a freaking gem. You are a diamond in the rough. You have the pick of the litter. Yeah. You can engage with whatever couples you want to get engaged with.
so take your time get on these apps sift through all the bullshit and find a real genuine good couple that's going to treat you the way you deserve to be treated and matches the the play style and emotional connection that you want to have with a couple and then engage with them correct you have all the power in this lifestyle um and i think you know even like you've said before you didn't realize that when no i did not i did not i didn't even know sometimes you'd see a hot couple and you'd be like go for it right oh yeah i was like hell yeah i want to i want to fuck you know like yeah i mean that's why i say when you when we met i told you i was like i needed you because i was i was pretty wild i mean like i was i was living the life i mean i was having good sex and good orgasms and good you know i was being taken care of these couples wanted me around i mean i never i didn't get lavish gifts or lavish vacations or anything like that but i could have i absolutely could have um so i could have yeah you found me at the right time babe you saved me from my wholeness scooped you up yeah disappointed so many couples you actually you broke so many hearts out there you did sorry guys yeah but uh yeah that would be my advice is you know unicorns of the world take take heed uh take your time yeah and couples be respectful and couples don't it's almost like the single guy thing right yeah like don't ruin it for the rest of us right like and and that's probably you know i think there's a lot of shitty couples out there that do this unicorn hunting thing that probably drive the single females away because they have bad experiences and things like that yeah um and there's bad unicorns oh god yeah most like what did sex with sue we had dinner with her or something we had something with her and she said unicorns are either are all crazy or something she said something along and i don't disagree i was crazy yeah but my hot to crazy ratio was on point so i got a lot of yeah i had a lot of luck yeah you gotta be i mean they're unicorns can be you know it can be if they're not there for the right reasons it can be cause issues with couples Thank you.
I had a lot of luck. Yeah. You got to be, I mean, they're, unicorns can be, you know, it can be, if they're not there for the right reasons, it can be cause issues with couples. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. It's definitely goes both ways. I think they, a lot of people look at them like a safe, but really and truly you're playing with fire. Yeah. Yeah. And in a lot of cases, yeah. I can't, you can't uniformly define people like that, but yeah. No, I mean, I'm just saying, yeah, I mean, you can't, I mean, but like single males too. I mean, hell, you could, you're playing with fire with a couple.
I don't know.
can't uniformly define people like that but yeah no i mean i'm just saying yeah i mean you can't i mean but like single males too i mean hell you could you're playing with fire with a couple i mean let's just be honest you know lifestyle if you're not doing it for the right reasons in the correct way it can be dangerous i agree i agree 100 all right uh that was all our questions all our questions so i think that was okay now it's the end of the podcast okay did i nail it did you nail it yeah yeah those are pretty good questions thank you i support it that's good i think we should do that once in a while yeah um and yeah i think because a lot of these questions super hard to like on a tiktok live chat and like really take time to go deep into these questions so i i've liked them so if you want us to keep doing this email us at theswingnation at gmail and tell us your question and we'll keep it and next time we do one of these we'll answer it yeah no i like to if you especially if you have these thought-provoking not yeah not why do you not live together all right do you get jealous yeah how do you prevent stds what about your kids oh yeah although the kid one we might delve into yeah maybe one day maybe one day all right um so this is two weeks from now which means has secret sensations happened yet nope we're getting ready to go we're getting ready to go all right so give them the rundown so we will be at secret sensations in pittsburgh it's a hotel takeover october 21st and 22nd the hotels are completely sold sold out, even the backup.
So if you want to come, you can buy a ticket at the door. They said it would be very, very hard for them to sell out. So I think they have a lot of room. So if you would like to come, if you're local, obviously you can stay at your house. If you're coming in from out of town, find an Airbnb, find something, come hang out with us. We're going to have a good time.
We booked booked this with them like eight or nine months ago so it's been a long time coming we're super excited for this event also um november 18th and 19th we will be at the eye candy party in pigeon forge tennessee i'm sure by the time this is airing the rooms have sold out but the really cool thing about pigeon forge is there is a ton of cabins everywhere i'm kind of jealous we're not staying in one like can i be in two places at once no but eye candy is known for their parties they're you know a young fresh cool group and we're super duper excited to be going to our first party with them yeah no i'm looking forward very much yeah you can buy tickets for that on swingersociety.net you can pre-purchase your tickets um i would suggest doing that i can't be sells out of everything so i think whatever you can get beforehand is better yeah i heard something about you want to go on a cruise or something we are going on a cruise thing thing.
It's booked. Well, when's that? November 2023. If you go to swingersstudy.net, you'll find everything to book that. We are taking a group there. We're all staying on the ninth floor. If you can't get a room on the ninth floor, it's okay. Deck nine. Deck nine. Whatever. Ninth floor, same thing. So we will be on deck nine. Use our link on swingerssociety.net so we know you're coming because we're going to host some Swinger Society slash Swing Nation meet and greets, little hangouts. We'll probably eat together, stuff like that. So we definitely, if you're coming. We want your contact info.
Yeah, we want. We want to get you in a group chat. Yeah, we're going to do a group chat. You know, we still have a year, so we have some time.
We'll do, we'll get a, if we want to get you in a group chat yeah we want to yeah we're gonna do a group chat you know we still have a year so we have some time we'll do t we'll get a if you want pre-order t-shirts or something yeah we'll probably yeah we need like a cruise shirt oh yeah we got to get ashlyn to make us a cruise shirt okay um so yeah it's gonna be a good time i can't wait um that that's over a year away plenty of times to make payments they have some really awesome payment plans so you can you can slowly pay on that which is nice yeah so it's a pricier event it's not your hundred dollar club night yeah so those are all already on swingersociety.net you can find the links to all those events and buy tickets there are tickets available for all three of those currently currently i should say yeah uh and then getting ready then getting ready to go into, you know, 2023.
We've got big plans. We've got a bunch of events coming up. Multiple secrets takeovers. Going back to secrets probably at least twice next year. We've got, you know, probably our own hotel takeover event happening. We're going to Naughty in New Orleans. Naughty in New Orleans.
Maybe some, we're looking at a H a hedo or the desire trip possibly so lots of things in the work um if you want to be a part of one of the fastest growing um online swinger um groups you need to go sign up for swingerside.net join us on discord join us on facebook all the places um and that's where you'll see and find out more information about all these events um yeah it's it's exciting times you know in the lifestyle and uh we'll be bringing all of it to you on this platform so please please uh become a part of it yeah anything else babe that's it um we we appreciate you guys we love you guys we uh we feel the love and the support and uh we look forward to some good events yeah all right i think with that folks in a world Thank you.
We appreciate you guys. We love you guys. We feel the love and the support. And we look forward to some good events. Yeah. All right. I think with that, folks, in a world full of apples. Be the pineapple. Be the pineapple, guys. Bye. Bye. If you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us, leave a five-star review wherever you're listening.
If you want to see more of our content, you find links to snapchat twitter instagram only fans and more in the show notes come join the conversation with us and other swinger content creators on our swinger society discord server if you have questions or feedback email them to us at the swing nation at gmail.com make sure you head on over to the swing nation.net and keep up to date on all things swing nation we thank you so much for joining us and we'll see you next time goodbye
