Send us Fan MailLifestyle Education | How Swinging Can Improve your Marriage: The Ultimate Guide | Episode 173Dan and Lacy are back with another enlightening episode of The Swing Nation Podcast, where they unpack the benefits of swinging on marital bliss. In this conversation, they delve into how embracing non-monogamy can lead to a more fulfilling marriage by enhancing communication, deepening trust, boosting body image, and revitalizing your sex life. Learn how discussing desires and setting boundaries can lead to stronger, more transparent communication. Explore the trust-building aspect of swinging, where vulnerability becomes a strength. Dan and Lacy also share how the lifestyle can help partners embrace their bodies, leading to greater self-confidence and intimacy. And of course, they don t shy away from discussing how swinging can add variety, excitement, and frequency to your sexual relationship. Whether you re considering dipping your toes into non-monogamy or looking to enhance your current lifestyle experiences, this episode is packed with personal insights, practical advice, and a candid look at how swinging can transform your marriage for the better!- The Swing Nation -Main Website Quick Navigation Website: -- (Find all our social media links more!)- Swinger Society - Our Website to meet, connect events Swinger Society Discord Our Facebook Group- Swinger Websites -Kasadie 90 day free trialUsername: TheSwingNation SDC 14 day free trial Username: TheSwingNation** Use code 36313 for 14 days free! ** SLSUsername: NorthernGuynSouthernGirl- Merch More -Order Your Merch Here!- Lacy’s Fun Links -VIP OnlyFansPREMIUM OnlyFans-- THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS --Wisp : Making sexual healthcare inclusive, cost-effective, and accessible—for everyoneUse Code SWING at checkout for 15% off your oder!Shameless Care: ED Medication and at home STD testingUse Code TSN at checkout for $30 off your order!Promescent® Make Love Longer, It’s Time for Great SexUse Code SwingNation for 5% off!Sing it Bikinis: adjustable one-size styles, thoughtfully crafted to flatter every body type.Support the show- Thank you for the support! -
Transcript
This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. Welcome to the Swing Nation podcast, a podcast by swingers, for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle.
Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe, interview the experts, learn and grow together. Join the nation. So Lacey, people are asking, how do they get to go to a party or an event with us? They check out swingersociety.net. You create a profile, you sign up for an event, and you come hang out with us. Super easy. That's right. If you want to party with us and the other faces and names that you know from social media and TikTok, head on over to swingersociety.net. Can't wait to see you there. Sexual health care can be so much more than STI testing.
WISP offers services like emergency contraception, help in delaying your period, UTI treatments, and so much more. Thank you. health care can be so much more than STI testing. WISP offers services like emergency contraception, help in delaying your period, UTI treatments, and so much more. They even have a product called the OMG Cream that helps provide more fulfilling orgasms for women. WISP provides same-day prescriptions and can give you discreet treatment in the comfort and privacy of your own home. Check out the link in our show notes or go to HelloWiz.com and use code SWING for 15% off.
Most people have unprotected oral sex, right? Be honest. Now think about your last STD test. Did your doctor tickle your throat with something that looked like a giant Q-tip? Probably not.
Yet that's the only way to check for oral gonorrhea or chlamydia which are often asymptomatic you need a better doctor you need shamelesscare.com use coupon code tsn at checkout hey there pineapple people and welcome to the swing nation podcast we are your hosts northern guy and southern girl and today we're coming back to you with another special episode lacy we hear all the time from people why be married if you're a swinger yeah like why be married right like what are you doing if you're just out fucking other people like what what is why do you even have a relationship why are you married why don't you guys just stay single fuck other people and hang out with each other so today i wanted to talk about how swinging can actually improve your marriage correct or any relationship i don't know if marriage is even the.
Yeah, because I don't think you have to be a committed relationship. I don't think you have to be married to benefit from swinging. 100% agree with that. And another thing I will say is people say that people only swing for sex. Or swinging is all about sex. It's all about hooking up. I don't feel that way.
But I think we as a community don't always do a good job at articulating well what else is there right yeah so we always say it's not just about sex you know it's about more than that well i think we are telling people that i just don't think there's enough of us to make that message loud for everyone to hear because pretty much everyone that's like public that or lifestyle i hear them saying that there's more than just sex i do i feel like i do hear that but i think one a lot of people only hear that because you're gonna only you know you're gonna hear what you want and sex is pretty powerful and i feel like that probably makes the biggest impression and then the other stuff kind of probably falls to the wayside.
But I feel like a lot of people are trying. I just, it's just kind of hard to get past the sex. Like sex goes with swingers. No, it's well, and that's, it's the clickbaity flashy. Like it's what, you know, gets, get subscribers, gets, you know, viewers for TV shows.
Like, so it's the thing to talk about uh you know sex drama drugs rock and roll like you know i mean like it's the flashy stuff but there's a lot more to our community and a lot more to swinging than just the sex yeah now the sex the sex is pretty good but there's more than just that so today we're going to talk about how swinging has improved our marriage and ways it could improve your marriage yes you being I'll see you next time.
we're going to talk about how swinging has improved our marriage and ways it could improve your marriage yes you being listeners out there yes because i think it's important for couples that are maybe thinking about going down this road of non-monogamy to understand that there are legitimate benefits from it other than just having great sex with with other people i mean that's pretty fucking amazing if that one's not enough to sell you yeah here's some more yeah well do we really want to sell it to them well no but you know what i'm saying like yeah if we're going to talk about this let's talk about all of it and not correct not just the sex correct all right so i think the number one thing that you're going to hear when you hear about couples and they're talking about, oh, you know, how long you've been a swinger and, oh, what has swinging done for your relationship?
Everybody says the same thing first, right? We are so much better communicators now. Correct.
Why do you think that is that when you open this world of non-monogamy, when you start, you know, seeing other people, not seeing, but whatever, fucking, hanging fucking hanging out with when you open up your relationship why does that make you a better communicator well if you have a healthy non-monogamous relationship you have to communicate about literally every single thing like probably overshare at some points um to make this whole situation work especially in the beginning it really you have to kind of like lay a good foundation down because if you're not overly communicating about all of these different things then i feel like you're gonna have cracks in your foundation so go ahead no i was gonna say i think that's true yeah i think even the uh the idea of going to your partner and saying hey i might be interested in this thing called non-monogamy this thing called swinging you're probably already a good communicator that's a that's a huge step in opening your communication with your partner yeah it is i mean like i i've never personally had that conversation with anyone because we met in the lab so but i can't imagine like in previous relationships going to like my vanilla boyfriend husband and saying hey hey i think it might be a good idea to fuck other people like to me that would be immediate fight if somebody told me that divorce yeah it could be so i think that's huge and risky and but also can have huge benefits if you are willing and able to have that conversation it's interesting so now being on the other side of that right and being in the relationship that we are in it's hard for me to imagine is it when i look at that and i'm like man just having that conversation just bringing that subject up could lead a couple to divorce but what kind of relationship is that where you can't even have we both did it yeah we both did it just seems now that we're it seems very unnatural right it seems like that's crazy talk like that's why would anybody want to be in a relationship where they're just they're afraid to talk to their partner about anything yeah and this is along the lines of communication but it's kind of funny have you seen those tick tocks right now they're like we listen and we don't judge and we they tell each other like they tell their spouse something about them that they don't know i can't really like i was trying to think of a way for you and i to do that thought it'd be'd be funny.
I really could not think of anything. I had to go back to our first few dates. There's not a whole lot that you don't know about me now.
I think that's what boggles my mind now is to think back why would I want to be in a relationship with somebody that I had to hide part of myself with that to that person yeah yeah so that's part of the communication and then another part of the communication that it's going to force you as you go into this journey you're going to hit speed bumps you're going to have hiccups you're going to have uncomfortable situations even if you're trying you've read all the books you've listened to all the podcasts you've made all the notes you know exactly what the right things are to do something is going to come out of left field and just and just hit you and it might not be you it might be another couple it might be just something that triggers you that you just did not expect you are going to hit some type of friction point in your journey into the lifestyle yeah and that forces you to communicate even more yeah because once you hit that friction point's either sink or swim at that point yeah and if you're gonna swim the way to swim is to communicate through it to talk openly and honestly like hey this is what i thought this is how i felt this is why i did that i you know i didn't mean to do this you know how did that make you feel you know oh i'm sorry i didn't mean to make you, but this is, you know, you just have to get through that.
And that can be difficult and challenging as well. It can. And we've had our fair share of times where we've struggled with communicating. And even now we still have instances where something comes up and we have to communicate to each other.
Like for instance, if somebody texts us on the side, or if somebody is if like there's been times where i've kissed somebody and you not been there and i you know and it wasn't like i i wasn't going behind my back no i wasn't it was we were it was just the moment you know and it probably would have been more awkward if i was like no right stop you know uh so there are At times even all these years into it we are still kind of practicing what we preach in a way no that's i mean that's 100 right and i think you know when we talked about those friction points sometimes though can those can come because this is so exciting and new and you can get caught up in those moments i don't want to to say you forget about your other partner but you know you get distracted and maybe misstep and unintentionally yeah you could have the best intentions and and something just kind of happened that you didn't plan for and you have to go and communicate and that can really derail a night a weekend hell a week if you're like at something like keto or something and it's all how you like work with your partner communicate through it to kind of resolve that agreed um another form of communication that i love in the lifestyle is that post experience yeah communication um one it's kind of crazy to even think about right because when i say post experience communication it might be things like babe how how good you know how does it how does this dick feel good like did you like it when he bent you over you know like that's a form of communication oh yeah yeah it's almost like reliving this the experience but like then with your partner you use it to kind of i don't know keep the momentum going almost yeah no it's it's it definitely is a injection of like fuel in your relationship and that and it can go for like you said we go we swing once a month and for us that's a refuel we hit refuel every time we go to an event and it's like an enhancement it doesn't take over you know it doesn't your sex life at home then doesn't like rely solely on that but it kind of like enhances the experience and you're talking about it you're reliving it you're just kind of enjoying those moments it's pretty hot yeah I think we could do a whole podcast on that but I do think there's a balance there as well yeah you do see new couples that get caught in that drug of having experiences and how good that feels and they can do it to you know almost overindulge in it and maybe kind of forget why they're there and what I don't know.
drug of of having experiences and how good that feels and and they can do it to you know almost overindulge in it and maybe kind of forget why they're there and what they're doing you know so i think there is a balance but there definitely is something just toxic um and just very rewarding about those experiences yeah no i totally agree um yeah and then i think another good form of communication is in the army we used to call it after action reviews yeah right which is uh hey you go out and you do a mission and when you come back you talk about what went good what went bad what you didn't like what you did like how you could improve next time um and i i think you know we do that often when we have experiences especially it seems like when something bad goes yeah something bad happens we kind of tend to talk about it more well i think we always reminisce or kind of that's i don't mean like it's sex i mean like as we're driving home like we're talking about it so we may not be officially doing it but we are still doing it yeah and i think having those conversations is really important because i do you know we always call this you know your lifestyle journey and I really think it is that I think you know when you are new to the lifestyle you're going to make a lot more mistakes you're you're not going to know where your limits and your boundaries are you're not going to know your partner's triggers and what to look for in them and then as you do this more and more you get a little bit better at it but I don't care if you've been doing this for 20 years and we've met couples like that you're still going to have missteps and miscommunications and things are still going to happen so it's it's an always involve uh evolving communication that you have to have with your partner yeah all right i think the next thing i want to talk about when we're talking about ways that swinging or non-monogamy could improve your marriage so i want to talk a little bit about trust.
I really feel like in this relationship, I have way more trust or faith maybe in our relationship than I've ever had in any relationship I've ever had. Same. And I've been in relationships where I've been cheated on.
I've been in relationships that I have cheated i've been in relationships where we are both completely faithful um and by far this relationship is the most secure fulfilling relationship that i've ever had um i don't feel the need to think that i don't feel like you're gonna you're gonna cheat on me or that i just don't feel that unease i feel very much like i trust you yeah and i and i i think i'm not 100 sure where that comes from but when i think about it i think it comes from that communication right i think when you're secure so open and honest with your partner that you truly feel like you can tell them anything well now i feel like well i trust you that if something happened or there's something you need to talk about that you would tell me you would you would communicate that with me and so because i feel like we have this this great communication it leads me to trust you i think more yeah so i totally agree in vanilla relationships in the always held back.
You always kept something secret. There was always something that you were hiding to yourself, right? In this relationship, I don't have that. And because I don't have that and I feel like you don't have that, then there's no secrets here. Like there's nothing to hide. Yeah. I mean, I think, truth be told, and I don't know if this goes with this podcast, but, like, I guess I've been in enough relationships now that I know that if you are ready to leave me and this is what's going to happen, you're going to go.
It's going to happen regardless of if I hold you in a little bubble and don't let you do anything or look at any girls or if we have this fun, amazing life. Like, truly, there's nothing I can do. I can't control you. You are your own human. You're a grown man.
And, and you know I'm just going to enjoy this life with you and have faith that you will make the best decisions together in the past I felt like and maybe that comes from not truly like sharing all of myself with someone I just felt like I wasn't that secure in the relationships and i am in this one no i i don't think i could um agree with that more and i think you know another thing that's important to talk about is trust is such an important foundation for this journey yeah right I think, you know, you hear about hear about couples that you know maybe they cheated on each other or they had some kind of misstep in their vanilla world and then they turn to swinging as a way to like well he's just going to cheat on me anyway so we might as well go for just go fuck other people yeah um and then they get into this world and and then it just triggers all their their.
It triggers all their, you know, all the drama that they've had in their normal relationship before they're non-monogamous. This just times that by 10. Well, just puts a magnifying glass on it. Now, we know people. Let's just be real. We know people who have one or the other have cheated and they're actively in the lifestyle. Now it's not super uncommon to meet people like that. And they do somehow navigate it. Now I don't know what's going on at home or behind closed doors, but in public they seem to be okay. So I do feel like there's probably a way to do that.
But I also feel like marriage someone cheats a marriage can survive if everybody puts in the work if everybody puts in the work and they recommit themselves so who am I to say that you can't be non-monogamous after having something like that happen you know I just I don't know what do you think no I it is an interest there is a lot of people that have one or the other have cheated and then after a while they do join the lifestyle and it appears like it's working yeah i'm curious about that so when i think about that you know and you said this yourself you know i've been in previous relationships where i cheated on my partner and and now in this relationship i look back on that and part of me thinks part of me genuinely thinks that i'm just not built for monogamy i just don't think i maybe could do it yeah but i would i would be struggling every day i think i would be i would have to put in a lot a lot of work it would be it would feel unnatural for me yeah i think to be a monogamous person um and so i do think you know looking at previous relationships maybe if i could have went went to that partner at the time and said, hey, look, I just don't know.
It's not you. And really, in most of those relationships, it was not the other. It wasn't something they were doing wrong. It was a me thing. For whatever reason, it was a me thing, right? So maybe if I could have been one, had good communication, been open and honest and said, hey, look, this is just me. It's not a you thing. I just have this need that I have to explore, that I want to explore or need to explore. And if we could have communicated through that, and I think they would have had to genuinely want to explore that too, right?
Or had some kind of interest, which in these cases I don't think they did. But then maybe you can work through that and then start this journey together with kind of a reset and some kind of level of trust. Maybe. I don't think it's impossible. But I definitely think that the lifestyle for me in this relationship, in this situation, I have felt the most secure. Do people cheat in the lifestyle?
Yes, it happens um i don't think we would be doing this podcast justice if we didn't like acknowledge that because just like some people are not good communicators some people are probably not really good being trustworthy in the lifestyle um i think if you just like anything if you have a problem, it's going to just magnify it. Yeah. Is there, I'm trying to think, has there ever been a situation where I did something that made you not trust me or have we had a trust violation?
I can think of, and this might sound like kind of ridiculous for even sharing it, but we were talking to a unicorn and I don't know that you really did. Thank you.
and this might sound like kind of ridiculous for even sharing it but we were talking to a unicorn and i don't know that you really did okay let me back up i don't think that you did anything wrong let me just say that but we were talking to this unicorn and she ended up being like crazy like most of them are i mean don't give me no offense i was a crazy unicorn so i'm speaking of myself as well I'm putting myself in that category anyway so one night and and we went on like one date and we all of our communication had been through like through like group message we were on kick it was back in the kick days you know and um and then I think I text you or called you and like you were not answering your phone and I And I was like, you know, I was starting to get pissed off.
But this time we were like eight hours apart. So at that point I was probably a little bit more insecure about our relationship. Anyway, you weren't responding to me. And you finally, I guess, saw that I had been calling and texting and you shot me a text. I was like on the phone with said unicorn.
And do you remember this and i was like what what the fuck you know and so immediately i you went off the deep end i went off the deep end because i was like wait a second we communicate through group messaging and now you're on the phone so i kind of like lost it and like ended up you came back and after and by the time you got off the phone with her, I had kind of worked myself into, like, a tizzy. You were ready to get divorced or murder somebody or something. And ended up she was going through, like, a mental health crisis. But so she overstepped by messaging you on the side.
You were a gentleman and told her to call you because of your training in the military.
were like trying to talk her off the ledge literally which i even like saying that out loud sounds kind of stupid like i don't know well i get at the time you want you know if i'm not responding to you and then i respond randomly and say hey i'm on the phone with a single female that we had and actually we never did anything with her we never touched her but we considered it yeah so i get why just went to dinner yeah i get why that's triggering to you but yet the real story behind that is she had messaged me basically saying i give up i'm like i'm done like goodbye world or you know some kind of like really and so i was like i need you to call me right now and then we got i made sure she got to a hospital and was safe before i okay so but like next time call your wife first and be like hey well in that to me that's like a 911 call not a like hey hold on like i'm bleeding out right now let me call my wife on the other hand i'm super grateful that you were there for her like once i once I calmed down and everything.
But, like, we had literally met this person for two hours. Like, that's it. Right. And casually chatted, not anything serious. And I'm like, doesn't she have family? Like, why are you having to? Which is terrible. I'm sure Brace Lake Lacey is a terrible person. But that was, anyways.
But in that moment, I had completely had completely worked myself up and y'all were gonna run away together and have babies and like live your best life yeah so how long did it take to repair that trust well i don't really think you necessarily broke it no you just i was just really upset yeah you know that's funny when we when i just asked you that question i had completely forgotten about that and i popped it off the fact that that was the first thing that you went to was well okay so to you have i ever done something that broke your trust no not that i can think of have you i can't think of anything that i would mistrust you you're pretty good usually if a guy i text you on the side i mean guy there's been multiple guys that have tried oh yeah to get around me to you and tried to be especially more so when we were just when we were not married yeah here's the thing if a guy or girl messages either one of us on the side and says something that's even remotely questionable me and lacy are holding the phone up to each other and being like read this honestly even within seconds usually honestly even if it's not questionable we'll still we'll still show it if i get a message from a one we don't do side messaging so that doesn't happen very often but sometimes it happens there has been cases where girls have messaged me or guys have messaged lacy and it's even if i don't even i if i know it's not nefarious it's not somebody trying to do something inappropriate i'll usually say lacy look at this read this so you see it and she or sometimes i'll be like hey this person messaged me because some of it's even like business stuff at this point i'm like do you want me to add you to a group chat is it okay if i chat with them um and now there's even like probably one or two flirty conversations that we each have going on where you're like no i don't care like talk to her like yeah it's fine we definitely take it on a case by case basis so i think we have a good level of trust okay i think now is the perfect time to take a little break and hear from the partners of the swing nation podcast and then when we get back we're gonna go over a few more benefits to your marriage for being a swinger ways that being a swinger benefits your marriage i think they're kind of backwards all right we'll be right back ladies we all know if you're going to lifestyle parties things like yeast infections be I don't know.
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Lacey, the question we get asked probably more than any question on any social media platform, on email, is how do I find lifestyle people in parties in my area? People don't know. How do I find them? Where's the clubs? Where are the parties? Where are the swingers? How do we find them?
They'll email us and say, live in uh you know some random city town in kentucky and how do i find the parties and the truth is me and lacy don't know we don't know every state i don't know every party i don't know every hotel takeover um there's lots of them out there um but the way you can find it is you can go on to stc look for parties and events in the events tab on stc and you can find stuff going on in your area you can find it is you can go on to STC, look for parties and events in the events tab on STC, and you can find stuff going on in your area.
You can connect, but you can search by distance and find local swingers in your area. STC is definitely the way to connect with lifestyle people. It's the way to find parties. It's the way to find events. If you want to try STC risk-free, right, to see if it works for you in your area, you can go to theswingnation.info, scroll down to recommended apps and products, click on that STC link, and you're going to get a free trial. Y'all, this is the first time I'm doing an ad for my OnlyFans, but listen, it's for a really good cause. This month, we're doing 50% off my no pay-per-view page.
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Go to theswingnation.info to check it out all right guys welcome back welcome back thank you for listening to our sponsors we love all our sponsors we do particularly only fans that's my that's my favorite sponsor yeah for sure for sure um so go check that one out uh but anyway we're coming back uh and we're talking about how being a swinger can actually benefit your marriage right it's not just about the sex it's not just about the hot orgies it's not just about all of that although all of that is fantastic um but there's actually some real benefits to that and so the next thing i want to talk about a little bit is improving your self-image yeah um and maybe just taking care of yourself is a general rule right i think you know the joke is always how do you know somebody's a swinger it's like well if they're tan if they're you know if they're over 40 and they're tan and they're in good shape and the wife has uh fake boobs and they own they own a hot tub they're probably swingers right probably uh but there's definitely some truth to even though you're married and you've been married for 20 30 years um but if you're still out there mixing it up meeting people hoping to have sex with other people, you care a lot about your self-image.
You care a lot about your body. And not to say that any one body type is like the right way, but we all know when you get ready for a date, just like when you were a single person, you put effort into your looks. You put effort into the way you dress. You want to smell nice.
You want to look good um and so i think being a swinger that never goes away right i've been in a relationship where you know i was married for 13 years i'm telling you even we all do it you slack off a little bit right you take for granted that this person wants to fuck you that they find you attractive i can remember thinking well they have to right like people say that all the time like well my my wife finds me hot well she has to find me hot she has to find me attractive she has to want to fuck me that's a terrible way to look at it yeah um so what do you do you think being a swinger has helped you with your body image and you think it's helped you stay you know take care of yourself more i think you're a person that's always been kind of bougie yeah probably would be regardless but no i've actually been thinking about this because our tuesday talks have been heavy on like body image lately and stuff like that so it's been a thought i've had and i went back and was thinking about the time i maybe six months before i joined the lifestyle roughly six eight months is about the time i took my first nude picture you know i had never done that prior to i'd been in a marriage and in a very very vanilla relationship so no real reason to do that like that just wasn't something that i did um and i can remember seeing like the first photo that i took of myself and thinking that i looked beautiful like and the reason i was doing that was because i wanted to like share them with people and you know do stuff like that and i think through those photos um i really found i but i had always take like you said i'd always taken care i'd always felt like i was an attractive person but to see those i really felt like sexy for the first time and like almost empowered and i think like as i got deeper and deeper into the lifestyle that's just kind of evolved and now it's almost like and i know i have only fans and all that other other stuff but I think even if I didn't have that I would still feel this way because I can look at some of my other friends that are moms and you know you see them during the week and we're just covered up I've got leggings a t-shirt on and a sweater right now and tennis shoes but underneath this it's a badass bitch you know and I think like seeing myself in those pictures and then like going to these events and like putting on the dresses and putting on the outfits and having men like look at me and be attracted to me, it does something.
It makes you feel like powerful. Does that make sense? Yeah.
Yes, that does make a lot of sense so that makes me feel like that that makes me stand a little taller and i think that's the credit is to the lifestyle in my opinion yeah now would you say you know is there something different about a stranger or another man complimenting you or calling you beautiful or saying oh my gosh you're so sexy does it feel different than it does than what i said it does and it almost sounds wrong to say that but it it's like if somebody like walks into your home and says oh it smells nice and they're you know they they've never been to your house before you're like oh thank you so much i worked so hard to keep this house smelling good then if you come in and be like oh it smells nice oh thanks yeah i've been cleaning you know it it feels better coming from that stranger who doesn't really have any obligation to do that yeah right and i think that's what it is right because listen we all know our partners and we all know they're that it's not i no it's when you're in a relationship you're you're going to try to build each other up you're you're constantly doing that so i do think when it comes from an outside person that has no real skin in the game so to speak right they have no reason to have to tell you that that it does hit a little bit different yeah but i think on the flip side like let's say we're at a hojo takeover and we're in the room getting ready and right before we walk out you look at me and say baby look so fucking sexy i can't wait to go show you off like in that moment like i would just melt you know and that's not something you would probably say to me like when we're going to outback on a saturday night you know there's something you know and i've heard of couples where the husband will help pick out the outfit it's like a whole like thing i think that something about that it just makes me feel good it also makes me feel good like when you share my photos you're proud of me when i send sexy photos of you to another couple yeah it's like you want this other man to compliment me or you know it makes it builds me up so yes getting compliments or other are important and helps but getting compliments from you in different ways helps too also i think i think I agree with, I totally agree with what you said, you know, we're all half naked in front of each other.
I, I'm, I might have one extra cookie instead of three because I'm trying to not be, you know, I want to feel confident in myself.
Um, and I've publicly struggled with my weight throughout my lifestyle, I've know journey i've been smaller i've been heavier i've been somewhere in between i've had some plastic surgery i've had situations that haven't went well and that's something that i'm still to this day working on i think that's just kind of who i am as a human i don't think that the lifestyle has anything to do with that i think just like we said trust if you don't have trust it's going to be magnified if you don't have good communication it's going to be magnified if you're self-conscious in the lifestyle it's probably going to be magnified too i mean i think there's a lot of benefits to help build you up but i still think we're human and and things can still happen yeah we talked about a little bit about that that yes i think the lifestyle overall i think it's a net positive in the in the body positivity aspect but i do think there's you know when you go to your first event and you see a bunch of other girls and they're wearing these little tiny outfits and you know they got perfect little perky boobs and no stretch marks you know you're going to look at them and be like oh this is i don't look like that like am i supposed to be here you know like is it okay but i will say i think that women i can't speak for men because i'm not a man i think regardless of where we're at in our life we're going to do do that.
It could be at baseball and all the other moms have Stanley Cups and a fancy car or fancy Tahoe and have this and have that or on Ozimbik and lost a mental weight. It could be... You're always comparing yourself. There's always going to be another group of girls that you're going to want to compare. And so I don't feel like it's just a lifestyle. I don't think it matters.
I think it could be a friend group it could be an organized sport it could just be whatever i think there's always going to be someone that's got something that you want or you want to look like yeah i will say you know we've been doing this for a while now you know we've had the discord server we've been taking groups to different events and stuff like that and it's when new couples join the lifestyle particularly women early on they're usually pretty shy about sharing pictures now whether that's on the discord server or whether that's you know getting naked at a clothing optional pool or something like that they're always very timid and then the longer they stay in the lifestyle you know i think they start what i think happens is in those servers and even in real life they start seeing people and they're like oh look at her like she's not a supermodel she's got stretch marks she's got saggy boobs she's naked and she's partying and she's having fun or she's sharing her pictures online and look at all these people are complimenting her and they're building her up and saying how beautiful she is i think once you get into this environment and you start seeing other people that look like you or maybe other people that you know are you know uh different body shapes and sizes that you are that you wouldn't think somebody you know that they would be willing to be naked or willing to be sharing their body and you start seeing that and you're like wow this this community loves all these people and they're building all these people up i think that gives you then the confidence to share yourself and then you get that positive response and it's it can be kind of a dopamine hit it's kind of a drug a little bit and i will say that what i've learned as someone who's been pretty much all sizes um is that men just love women they love titties they love ass they love it all vagina and they they seem to like it at all different stages you know and you won't you will find someone that is interested as long as you how you are you take care of yourself you present yourself well you have great confidence you're kind you're you know all of those things i think you're gonna have success and it's true not i am that guy you are i don't care if you're a skinny little tiny thing or you're a big girl um or if you're 25 or 65 right i find is um scott from naughty gym would say i'm into 80 of you yeah and it runs the whole the whole spectrum um and i think that's true for for a lot of guys and honestly well and honestly the variety is kind of fun well me too if you think about it i a guy with six-pack abs walks in i'm probably gonna want to fuck him but i'm also gonna want to fuck that dad boy guy that walks in like i'm not like a boutique i like a little bit of all of it that's what makes it fun yeah and i even think we've gotten more and more that way where your personality matters way more to me than your your body or your looks um and i think once you get to that point you know that where you kind of realize that you know it it opens the lifestyle up another another layer for you okay lots about body positivity but i definitely think because i before we go i don't want to i kind of jumped and it was heavy on the female side of and i don't want to like leave out our men i think men do have i think men probably don't well i think men just don't share as much in general about our feelings and the way we feel about things but i do think men are probably I don't know if you're just don't share as much in general about our feelings and the way we feel about things but i do think men are probably maybe probably close to equally as insecure about their bodies for guys it seems to be a lot about you see a lot of stuff about their height uh you see a lot about things about their dick size uh for whatever reason i think society has taught men that you know you got to be tall and you got to have a big dick the you know the more the taller you are the bigger your dick the more manly you are or whatever the case may be um and again i think in the lifestyle you kind of realize that's not a thing um similar to women i think you're going to see men walking around with giant slongs and that might make you a little bit insecure from time to time when you see you know i guarantee you're going to see much more small dicks than you are the giant but yeah the truth is you're got what you what you will see is if you come to some of these clothing optional resorts and parties and stuff is that there's people of all shapes and sizes and the ones that are having the most success and the most fun in the lifestyle are usually the ones that just have the most outgoing personality.
And it really isn't directly attributed to the size of their dick or how tall they are or what their abs look like. But I think guys do have similar insecurities. But do you feel like the lifestyle has helped you be more confident? I don't know what.
I feel like a rock star in the lifestyle a little bit and uh you know i wasn't really like the popular kid in high school i wasn't like unpopular either i was kind of middle of the road kind of guy um but yeah i think you know if you want to feel like a rock star at times yeah i put the motor bunny by the pool and let it and make all the girls come that will make you feel maybe i am a little bit of a rock star in the lifestyle so maybe that's why but no i think but i can think of other guys that were pretty shy and insecure that have joined the lifestyle and been very successful yeah you know fucked a lot of women and i honestly think it's your personality i mean don't get me wrong you have a lot going for you looks wise but i think you're just like a cool person and you you have confidence.
And I think that helps. And to be fair, like, yeah, I'm not, I don't think I'm an ugly guy, but I'm not a super model. I don't have abs. I don't have like, I'm not, I'm your normal dude. I mean, you did have abs when I met you. Yeah, that's true. Thanks for calling me out. I got you there for the shopping comment.
uh but yeah i think again to have a good experience in the lifestyle it's more about your personality than it is anything else don't get me wrong when a guy walks in with a giant dick and abs like does every girl in the fucking bar turned and like oh my god and try to like totally that okay but a girl that has like I saw zero waste and big titties and bald legs. Yeah, it's under my way. But, yeah, it's under my way.
But, oh my god and try to like totally that okay but a girl that has like a size zero waist and big titties and yeah it's under my way um but overall yeah the lifestyle is pretty accepting of everybody cool all right the next thing we're gonna talk about is the thing that everybody wants to talk about the sex yeah how does swinging improve married people's sex lives you You're going to have a whole lot more of it. Be prepared for a lot more sex, a lot more conversations around sex. I would say just, it's hard for me to put into words.
It really, really improves your sex life, which people don't realize that um and don't get me wrong you need to have like a good sex life so imagine having a really good sex life and then times it by whatever yeah yeah it just gets that much better i agree so i think you know what joining the lifestyle or becoming a swimmer will do for you is it opens a whole new world of possibilities a whole new world of exploration a whole new world of experiences for you um i think most people only ever fantasize about threesomes about orgies about gang bangs about you know dp and dvp and you fucking name it right you you probably you know girls fucking each other with strap-ons like double-ended dildos that's stuff you only see in porn right this is stuff that most adult people are probably watching in pornography and like thinking like oh my god that would be so.
But, you know, I'm married and I'm a monogamous and I can't tell my wife that I'm into that or or even, you know, it gets more like bisexuality, right?
Girls having sex with girls, guys having sex with guys, you know, pegging and all these other things that are out there that I'm telling you, there's way more people into all that stuff than what you think there are i had no idea go look at the clicks and views on any porn site right there are millions and billions of views on all this stuff uh and so if you can open up to your partner and say hey babe i have fantasies i think it would be really hot to have sex with you and another guy and see you get Eiffel Towered. And you know what would probably be hot?
If me and him fuck you in your vagina at the same time. I think that would be kind of hot and kind of dirty. And you start talking about those things. And then you actually get to no shit, go to a party, hang out with your friends, drink, have fun. And then go have fucking hot, amazing sex where you can explore all these crazy fantasies that you have. And you're with a bunch of people that just want to make your fantasies come true. Like that's their whole goal for the night. You're going to go into a playroom and people are going to be like, hey, what are you into? What do you like?
What do you want to do tonight? You want to try this? You want to try that? You want to have a gangbang?
You want to, you know, like, yeah, actually, I kind of would i kind of would like to try that okay let's go do it yeah it's a really awesome safe place where you can explore your sexuality uh together as a female we talk about safety a lot i love i feel like i can do all the fun things i've ever wanted and you're right there with me holding my hand making sure i'm safe and doing it with me and we get to go home and we get to talk about it and it just i don't know it's it's kind of like a smorgasbord of all the things you couldn't dream of doing because if you're thinking about it as long as it's legal and you know not gonna hurt anybody um i guarantee you someone else is thinking it too so i it's just i don't know it really honestly we would have more sex if my vagina would handle it right i mean that's where we at that i mean if you're listening to this blog it's like that's where we are like i'm kind of tapped out at the vagina.
When I say that, I mean, I get UTIs pretty easy. And so I have to, I can't. You've got to pace yourself. If we fuck like rabbits for two or three days in a row, I'm down for the count. Yeah, I'm down. So we have to pace ourselves a little bit. Take all the stuff you're supposed to take. Balance your pH on the good things. I've learned so much about it.
My vagina is just allergic to you girls how about quit coming inside me that would help well stop being so good and i'll stop coming inside you yeah uh but no i think definitely the sex is legit and it's real and it's it i you know in the beginning of this we're like it's not all about the sex but i kind of get why that takes center stage it does okay so i'm going to play devil's advocate though because like i know we're talking about the positives we've talked a little bit about some negatives um somebody that's thinking about doing lifestyle what happens when you take six months off does the sex like is do you feel unfulfilled do you feel like you're missing something because you're not swinging like do you what do you what is that's an interesting question one i don't know if we've ever taken six months off we have not we have taken a few you know eight weeks or whatever it was uh when you have surgery and things like that and we did not take eight weeks off you never went eight weeks without sex let's just be real well whatever it was we went we went a while um did i miss it yeah of course i missed it we fucked one week after my bbl you did not go a while i meant without swinging oh okay yeah golly not just us uh you asked the question was do i sorry i was swinging i was like went eight weeks um yeah i think i think you do it i mean i think yes you are going to miss that if you're a truly a non-monogamous person i think there will be something in you that is it's almost like a craving well i we've talked about this before i think once you go down this rabbit hole right once you see all the things once you experience all the things it's hard to imagine wanting to go back to not doing all that yeah um and i that's not to say like that you're not enough or that i don't love you or that like our sex life isn't good enough without the swinging it's just different it's a different it fills a different box i guess i'm thinking of like phases of life let's say you y'all want you want to have a baby so you take you know a year off of swinging so you can you know i definitely feel like you probably because she's pregnant doesn't want you near her but i know some know some girls like sex when I'm pregnant.
Those girls should message me. I'm going to kill you. I have trust issues. Trigger? Yeah, triggered.
But no, I definitely think that if there's sages in life, I definitely think that there will be a lull and you have to work on it have to come up with ways to kind of fill that void right we had when i was in the military i deployed for oh yeah i forgot about that so for four months we couldn't swing and we even we had a conversation and when i left and we said hey we know that we are sexual people we know we're not gonna have sex for the next four months if you feel like you know me talking you need to an outlet for that just talk to me tell me what that is and you said the same thing hey if you're over there and there's some hot girl that works at the wherever and you think you have a shot with her and you want to try it just talk to me about it right let's just communicate about it and i think that's you know we talk about all this right this is why a non-monogamous relationship is can be so strong it's because you can have those conversations i never would have had those conversations with no you would have just pretended that that wasn't a thing right and and you know maybe would have done some of those things right in this case we went four months neither one of us i think had an opportunity or really wanted to fuck anybody else we didn't do it we came back we went back to partying like rock rock stars um i think we could be and you could be monogamous and have a great sex life i just don't think that's who we are i really do not think that's who we are i just like on i it's um i'm trying to think of the way best way for me to describe this i need like danger yeah does that make sense no i get it i crave it's like yeah it's a dopamine hit it is a drug like it's when you were where you were deployed i went got my nipples pierced i felt like i needed to feel something you know or like we just took like 45 days off i went got my my fourth hole pierced in my ears, it's like I need something.
Like I need to feel my blood pumping through my veins. But again, I think that's who I am as a human. You know what I mean? I was in the military. I got shot at. I did a lot of things on a daily basis that were risk. You know what I mean? And then even in my private life, I went scuba diving with sharks and spearfishing and climbed mountains. That's who I am. And I think my sex life is the same way where I need that excitement. I need thrills. I need changes. I like the unexpected. I like trying new things and experimenting. I feel like that's who I am. I feel like that's who you are.
Could we be different? Would our relationship survive? Yeah, I think we have an amazing relationship. I think we could be monogamous. I think we could do all the things. I just don't think it's who we are. Yeah. Okay. And sex was my last thing. I feel like I'm leaving this conversation with lots to think about. Are you? Yeah. What are some of the things you're leaving thinking about? We say this is like our therapy. I don't know. Because I wonder if that's true, what you just said. I was in a relationship for 10 years and was completely 100% faithful.
And I never in that 10 years felt like what you just described interesting so you don't think you are inherently no i do i do but like i'm just i do feel like i don't feel like i'm on the same level as you i think i'm a milder version um but but do you think we're getting off a little bit of a tangent here but do you think you were still trying to live in the matrix though like you were still trying to live inside the box so you know almost like we had this conversation with um naughty jim um and he was talking about his bisexuality and he said you know when he grew up as a christian uh and he he had no inklings to be a bisexual male but he but he really thinks that he just it wasn't his purview it wasn't an option it wasn't even something he saw it wasn't the best way i can think i can describe it it's like you've never tried something before it's like you don't know it exists you don't know right so it's not like yeah i don't think i'm now that i have a taste of it i would have a very i would really struggle if i had to put it in the box could i put it back in the box if i was committed and loved someone and was willing to do that i probably could but i would probably struggle i bet i think i would fail you would you probably would come close to fail and if you didn't fail yeah for sure uh so anyway this was a total tangent podcast uh yeah lots of tangents but i think it's important so you know the point of this podcast is there is a lot of benefits outside of just the sex, which is a good benefit of being in a non-monogamous relationship, of being a swinger.
I think it improves your relationship in so many different ways. I think it improves your life in so many different ways. I think it improves your friendships. I think the relationships we have with other people are on a completely different level than what I've ever experienced before. There are just so many positive things about the lifestyle. And that's why we're here.
The first thing that we're going to do is we're doing a podcast that's why we've literally changed our lives to become influencers and advocates for non-monogamy because i think me at least i think lacy too we've just we've drank the kool-aid oh yeah we've seen outside the matrix and we just want to share it with as many people as possible uh so yeah we're happy to share it with you i hope it gave you some food for thought and something to think about uh today is thursday which means we're in louisville kentucky for our winter wonderland takeover it's probably sold out but swingerside.net has all our tickets for all the events we're going to be in dallas in january we're going to be in miami in february we got our april secrets takeover there's stuff going on every single month bliss cruise we're going to hito in july so many things going on so go check out swingersided.net check that out um we got some new stuff we just started a reddit group that's got uh like almost 7 000 people in it already um our discord servers up to over 46 000 people getting close to 50 000 you know all those communities the facebook group the reddit group the discord group um those are all completely free so if you're interested in learning more about this if you want to connect with light-minded people if you don't want to pay that stupid subscription every month to do so go to the swing nation dawn info and sign up for some of these public pages come join the conversation with us come be a member of the community we can't wait we want to have you so go the swing nation dawn info right now and get signed up for all of that and we hope to see you guys at an event sometimes okay all right i think with that in a world full of apples be the pineapple be the pineapple guys bye if you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us leave a five-star review wherever you're listening if you want to see more of our content you can find links to snapchat twitter instagram only fans and more in the show notes come join the conversation with us and other swinger content creators on our swinger society discord server if you have questions or feedback email them to us at the swing nation at gmail.com make sure you head on over to the swing nation.net and keep up to date on all things swing nation we thank you so much for joining us and we'll see you next time goodbye
