Mrs. Doll and Eliza start with a quick Candyland recap, then get into one of the messiest and most honest lifestyle questions: what are your standards, what are your non-negotiables, and what happens when your partner is interested but you are not feeling it?This episode breaks down physical attraction, vibe, hygiene, “taking one for the team,” playing separately, hall passes, group play, expectations at events, and why communication still matters more than pretending everything is fine.Key Topics / Search Terms lifestyle standards standards vs non-negotiables taking one for the team hall passes in the lifestyle group play physical attraction partner check-ins lifestyle event expectationsWhat We Talk About Candyland event highlights and why the theme worked better than expected The difference between standards and true non-negotiables Whether physical attraction is enough if the personality or vibe is off Why “taking one for the team” can create resentment if nobody is honest How couples handle different attraction levels with the same couple When playing separately or using a hall pass can help instead of forcing a four-way connection Why hygiene is a real non-negotiable How group play can reduce pressure when not everyone connects equally Why going into events with expectations can wreck the night The upcoming “fuck it list” conversation and what listeners can send inHosts Mrs. Doll ElizaPartners CouplesNextDoor.com — original sponsor / overall backing Passionscapes Photography — in-kind contributor Glitz by Jax / Good Supply — partnerStudio Partner https://couplesnextdoor.com Code: DD25Calls to Action Follow and subscribe to The Down Dirty Podcast Rate and review the show Listen to more episodes at https://downdirtypodcast.com Send Mrs. Doll and Eliza your “fuck it list” ideas for a future Ladies’ Play Den conversationSometimes the standard is attraction. Sometimes it is hygiene. Sometimes it is vibe, humor, communication, or whether your own relationship needs attention first. Whatever the standard is, pretending you are fine when you are not usually does not make the night better.
Transcript
Speaker1: Hey
Speaker2: Chuck, you know what happens to me at every fucking party now? What happens? Somebody comes up to me quoting some shit we say. Listen people, do not take this BS as law. This is for entertainment and educational purposes only.
Speaker3: And if you're below the age of 18, this is not for you.
Speaker1: Good
Speaker4: evening everyone and welcome to the Ladies Play Den. This is your hostess of the mostest, Mrs. Dahl. And with me today is my beautiful co -host, Eliza. my dear what are we talking about today
Speaker1: tonight
Speaker5: we're going to talk about a little recap of the candyland event and then we're going to talk about standards but i want to talk about candyland that just happened last week and i'm going to tell you at first i was a little hesitant because pastel colors and fun candyland that kind of theme we went to the event and it was super fun but the outfits i was like a little apprehensive on that and then we show up and the outfits were were amazing. Absolutely amazing. I mean, your hosts, you know,
Speaker1: they
Speaker5: always go all out. But oh my gosh, I absolutely loved the outfits. If you were there, amazing. And if you weren't there, find some pictures online. I know I was not there.
Speaker1: But
Speaker4: I did see all the pictures. Well, okay, not all of them, but a large amount of them. And people did actually go into Candyland character, which was even better. It wasn't just colors. It wasn't just colors. It was just, it was all of it. It
Speaker5: was so good. It wasn't just pastel colors. It was so good. I loved it. It was super fun. I was in the basement of the bar, which was nice to have our own little place, which got fun, got a little frisky. There was definitely, there was some trains that were happening. And I mean, like trains, like nose to ass trains. And then there was like beard. Oh my gosh. By the
Speaker4: front stairs too, which made it even
Speaker5:
better. Yeah. So right, you come down the stairs and you got noses and asses and there's a train of them. It was so good. it was so funny and then there's another train of fingers going from one place to the next to the next and um yeah that was fun it was kind of fun to be like in public and just like be a little naughty there but I think that connects to standards and like if you're not in that space like can you do that everywhere and I know you taught we wanted to talk about standards tonight and I think this is a really interesting take so tell tell me about you were reading a reddit
Speaker1: um
Speaker5: i did i i
Speaker4: love to i
Speaker1: love
Speaker4: to go down those reddit lifestyle holes rabbit holes if you will um and
Speaker1: i
Speaker4: came across this one in particular this one i was talking about it was a husband and wife mid early 40s very attractive couple workout very nice all the things and she basically was throwing out on reddit asking females i'm gonna say this out right because it did not go that way when i I was reading the comments. She was particularly asking other females because she has very high standards. Her standards were the guy had to be like smut book worthy, like full head of hair, chiseled face, body, haul, you know, more than average size penis, the whole thing, right? And she's like, but I feel like I'm holding my husband back. So do I need, should I
Speaker1: I
Speaker4: learned to lower my standards and all these other, you know, a couple other things within that marker. But I stood it. The stood out part to me was the standards and how particular she was about these standards. And they have a couple of couples that they bounce back and forth to, but their age plus their area, they've kind of hit all the markers for the people that hit her criteria. Sure. Yeah. And it sounds like they still have a lot of fun. everything goes great they just know that sooner or later you're going to hit the end of the rope with the couples that they have okay makes sense so this whole post just explodes between two sides one side is female saying don't ever lower your standard keep them where they are because
Speaker1: i
Speaker4: dropped mine once i ended up taking one for the team and it was the worst thing i ever did Then you have the other half who are saying, I have certain standards, but I'm willing to be flexible with those standards.
Speaker1: And
Speaker4: I'm not much on the physical. I'm more on the intellectual side. So it was very much a, it was a topic worth chewing on.
Speaker1: Because
Speaker4: I feel like maybe in the beginning, we kind of all come in with a standard, whether we want to or not, or that we know that we do. And then
Speaker1: all
Speaker4: of a sudden you go, you know, to your first event and you see people or you meet your first couple and you're like, OK, maybe I should have some standards. So what are your take on that, Eliza? You know,
Speaker5: this this literally just popped in my head because I've thought a little bit about this, but this just popped in my head. There's a difference between standards and non -negotiables. Like you can have standards. You're like, this is kind of where I'd like to be. And then there's like a non -negotiable of I'm not going there. You know, so I think I think there's a little bit of two factors involved in that. But as far as standards go, that's super tough. See, this one felt,
Speaker4: as I was reading it, was a lot of non -negotiables.
Speaker1: Sure.
Speaker5: And that makes sense. That makes sense to me of like non -negotiable, you know, you can list off your ABC, whatever those are. And I'd have to think about those off the top of my head. They're not rolling out there. What are non -negotiables are mine are, or my husband's are. Standards, gosh, I think they ebb and flow, at least for us. You know, as I think about it, is the standard. I mean, obviously your example of Reddit, this is the tall, dark, broad shoulder, big fucking cock, smut book man. which is a fantasy which is lovely but sure we have our visual standard like oh that's going to turn me on right away but i don't know to me personality like that trumps well
Speaker4: and i guess that was her whole take onto the standards was is that's how she gets turned on that's how she makes it to the playroom and can enjoy herself is by having a physically attractive man that she can can look in the face and that can kiss. I give her that one. I have come across quite a few that can't. It is something I do enjoy.
Speaker1: Is
Speaker4: it a deal breaker? Not always, but that kind of deal.
Speaker1: Yeah,
Speaker5: you know, and I'm not going to, I don't want to shame or yuck her yum. I think there are definitely people who, they need that physical attraction and there's nothing wrong with that at all. There's nothing to be ashamed of.
Speaker1: of
Speaker5: um i don't think in my opinion i don't think the lifestyle or the kink world we get to shame someone else's thing that they like and if she is fully like i need physical attraction i need that good for her but i don't i really don't think that's the majority i think there has to be sure a little physical attraction and maybe up front that helps but i really think that personality attraction and i think that's maybe where you'll get people like okay fine i'll take one for the the team because I do like their personality. I do like that idea of like connecting with someone. So, so I think sometimes your standards may, you may take one for the team because you're attracted to them in different ways and you can be like, I can do that. Now, there's a lot more to be said about that. Take one for the team. I don't necessarily like that. You know, you'd take one for the team because I don't like, I want everyone to be like fully fully invested and fully engaged. But sometimes those standards are like, I want this, or I want this, or this is it. This is a need. She needs to have that physical attraction. But sometimes when you maybe if her partner, whoever the said person is, her partner is like, no, I really want to do this. And she says, okay, fine. I'll take one for the team. He won't be this big, muscular, smut book man. I'll go have fun with him. She may realize that I don't actually need to have that. I can find fun in a different way. And maybe she doesn't. But I don't think it's a negative thing to explore that to a certain degree, obviously. I don't think it's negative to explore that and be like, okay, I tried it. I did. I want you to also explore this. And so sure, I'll explore this.
Speaker1: Okay,
Speaker5: take it for the team, which I think it makes it sound bad. But I don't think that's a bad thing to explore, you know. And,
Speaker4: you know, I agree. I agree with her in that front. Because, you know, I will say when we first started this, you know, I came in, I guess with a standard as well, right? Something similar to what she had, which, you know, obviously, newer to it, don't really know, you know, then you finally go to an event and you meet people and you cannot kind of realize that that physical standard just it won't be met. And you have to, and if you want to enjoy it, you know, at least for us, if I wanted to enjoy it, I had to find other aspects. And so I went from, you know, being so keen on the physical part of it to going to the intellectual and humorous side of it. So can you keep a conversation with me? Can we have a conversation?
Speaker1: And
Speaker4: how deep of a conversation can we have? How will you listen? And can you freaking make me laugh? I feel like that's not that hard anymore.
Speaker5: more. I think so. I've thought about this a little bit. And I think maybe we'll get into this tonight or maybe it's another episode as far as like, how has the lifestyle like changed or shaped, you know, your personal relationship with your person or your your friends even. But I will say where I'm at now, there are times there are people that we have played with before
Speaker1: that
Speaker5: my husband is like definitely into the girl. And I'm not not into the husband, but I'm also not like, bam bam let's fucking go and it's just like you know he's he's good he's just not there and I've got to the point now where I will tell my husband like you know what I I'm not opposed to playing with them but right now I don't have that relationship where I'm like desire to play with them and I think that's where I would say
Speaker1: I'm
Speaker5: not wanting to take one for the team yet because I need to have something in this I'm not going to lay there starfish you know okay go ahead like Like I need to have some invested interest, even if it's not my 100%. Like I want A, B, C, and then I'm, you know, or if you have A, I am in 100%. But I think that's where personality comes in. That's where things like evolve. And I think that's when I'm where we're at now or where I'm at now with my husband is like, hey, I'm not opposed to like exploring this at all. I just right now I don't have that connection. I'm going to something's going to need to happen because I'm just not vibing with him. And I think that's where I'm not ready to, quote unquote, take one for the team. But when I if I get there, when I get there with them, perfect. I think that will be great. And that's all couples play, obviously. Yeah.
Speaker4: I kind of feel like the cowboy and I are about the same where, you know, yeah, I need to have something in it. Like you said, I have to have something in it, too. Have I gotten better about saying that out loud? Yes. Yes. Before, you know, there were a few in the beginning where I took one for the team and I sat back later and was like, that was not, no, that was not good. It was a learning experience for sure. It also didn't, you know, it didn't deter me. It just kind of, it slowed me down to the point where it was like, I do really need to have something outside of just the physical motion in order for this to actually work right. Right. And I think that was why we also went into, you know, playing separately events.
Speaker1: Yeah. Was
Speaker4: for exactly that, you know, there were times where he would think he would hit it off with the female half of a couple. And I'm struggle busting hard with the husband and I'm just getting no give, you know, a give to him and I'm not getting anything. thing.
Speaker1: And
Speaker4: the two of them are great. And I'm like, well, I guess this is kind of where we sit because it's either I hold you back or I have to learn
Speaker1: to
Speaker4: say, if that's what you want, my friend,
Speaker1: and
Speaker4: go for it. Now, granted, it's not always in that. It's not bad. It's not meant to be in a bad way. It's just like you said, sometimes it's not right now. He's a right now. They're right there. I'm not close. We're getting there, but it could take far longer to get to that point where all four of us can be in a room together versus breaking off. Now, on that same note, this is where I say sometimes playing separate can kind of be a hindrance is once we finally get to that point and one maybe standard of mine has finally been hit and we meet in the middle, can we actually take this to the room with all four of us and it actually turned out okay, or actually better than okay. Because say the cowboy's gone in with the wife more than once, and the husband and I have obviously not, and then all four of us go into a room together.
Speaker1: How
Speaker4: is that going to play out with can the husband deal with seeing that? Can I deal with seeing that? Can we deal with being able to do that. And, you know, so there's this, there's this fine line with doing that. So I think the standards, standards, yeah, it's a tricky one for sure on that. But I think
Speaker5: that's where I think you, you brought up a really good point is when someone has standards that are different. If we take two couples together and male, female, the husband and wife of one side, they connect, but the other two who don't connect, I think that's where the couple really has to, so if me and my husband are meeting up with another couple and he connects to the wife, but I'm not connected with the husband, that's where him and I, me and my husband, we have to really decide, okay, are we okay exploring this separately because my standards are here and yours are in this scenario and yours are here. I don't even want to say standards, but just our vibe, our thing, because it's oftentimes not a standard thing like there is a really good attractive like guy that I'm like you're great he's great attractive but I'm not always like I'm not always feeling his vibe I'm like just not there but my husband's feeling hers and I love that and sometimes we play and sometimes we don't I
Speaker4: still kind of think that stuff is a standard I I don't know what you would title it as but
Speaker1: I
Speaker4: mean maybe you call it a vibe standard I don't know I hate that word but anyway way. Maybe you call it a vibe standard, an energy standard or something where they have to, again, like I said, if I'm giving, I want to receive it. And if I'm giving and you're not giving me anything, what makes you think I want to go into a bedroom and do the same thing?
Speaker5: Yeah.
Speaker1: And
Speaker5: I think that's when, especially in a foursome, you and your person have to decide side and determine like, okay, is it worth it just to stick with this? This is what we do. Or do you say, you know what, this is where I'm at with him. I'm going to give you the past because this was our transition. And when we first started, it was primarily couples. And then it wasn't always the vibe wasn't always the same. It's like, okay, let's explore this way or let's explore that way. And that's really, and I very distinctly remember having a conversation with someone before our first group play with like eight people, they're like, well, actually, we like group play because not everyone vibes together.
Speaker1: And
Speaker5: so it's just nice to have multiple options because you might vibe with, you know, that person over here, but not their partner. You know, their partner is not vibing with yours. So I think that's where group play can have its benefits. But if you're strictly just talking like for like four people, two on two, you know, I think that is is a really important thing for a couple to discuss is like, okay, if these are your standards and you're not feeling it, but I really am feeling it with her. Is it worth it to explore? Are you comfortable letting them explore that? And not everyone is. They might be like, um, no, this is a group thing. We both do this together or we don't do it at all. And that's fine. There's a lot of people out there that that's what they do. And then there's some people like, okay, go ahead. You explore that. I'll explore it over here. Same room
Speaker1: or different
Speaker5: room or hall pass play. And I think that's where the conversation really comes in on that exploration of what your standards are and what your
Speaker1: kind
Speaker5: of non -negotiables are of what you're willing to do and what you're willing to let your partner explore when you're
Speaker1: at
Speaker5: that place of like, nope. Nope.
Speaker4: See, and that's why I like,
Speaker1: that's
Speaker4: why I like group play.
Speaker1: Yeah.
Speaker4: And why I don't mind orgy rooms. Same thing.
Speaker1: If
Speaker4: we have a whole handful of people, I mean, we've been in some pretty
Speaker1: ridiculous
Speaker4: ones before.
Speaker1: And just
Speaker4: being able to have someone turn around and say, hey, you're sexy. Can I? In the moment, it's like so much fun sometimes versus actually having to physically do the talk it out. you know hey you get what I'm giving deal it's just it's it's different in the moment you know and sometimes you connect with them afterwards and sometimes you don't and I think that's kind of also what's nice about the group the big groups is exactly that sometimes it's a one -off and done and that's okay and you know other times it's a continued thing that you you know reach out conversate about later on and then meet up again
Speaker1: at
Speaker4: another event or whatever okay
Speaker5: so I have a question them kind of connected maybe i'm gonna flip this the other direction is the physical standard enough to seal the deal like if we're picturing just the smut book man or whatever you're like this is your reddit whatever you're like that man right there fucking hot is that enough to steal seal the deal like the physical standard is that enough to seal the deal and then all of a sudden he opens his mouth he like no shut your mouth you know like is the physical standard enough to seal the deal would you go with it he wouldn't know and
Speaker4: here's my reasoning behind it he might pack all the sexy on the outside sculpted marble and everything but if he walks up and says something absolutely ridiculous like hey bro or god knows what it's gonna be it's gonna definitely be i would call it a slow burn situation where we would But definitely, I would keep going back to test the waters because of the physical look.
Speaker5: Note to the audience, don't go up to Ms. Dahl and call and say, hey, bro. Don't, just note to yourself.
Speaker1: No,
Speaker4: but again, because I have shifted, you know, over time. And again, like you said, I think there's a difference between standards and non -negotiables. Non -negotiables, obviously, are hygiene. I really think that that's my only non -negotiable. You just, you have to be clean everywhere. Because I don't sit there. I don't do the, oh, you, you know, one of my standards is you have to be shaped. Well, I'm sorry. I have my cute little, like, pouch, you know, spot on the front. My little patch. None of that stuff really bothers me. But I'm like, if you have bad breath, if all I smell is your sweat, if you're downstairs on either one of you smells like someone's sweat socks, I'm not doing it, my friend.
Speaker5: Oh, for sure.
Speaker1: sure if
Speaker5: i but i i will tell you if i have to part hair to find like your full shaft no i'm not okay okay that's very much or i need i would for my mouth you can fuck my pussy probably but not my mouth i'm not gonna go there if i've got a
Speaker1: bush
Speaker5: and i'm sorry i won't go down on a girl i won't go down to a girl if she's full just i'm sorry i don't want to floss my teeth with that shit sorry
Speaker1: see
Speaker4: my my biggest thing that i've come across and maybe it's in the orgy rooms i don't know is um the downstairs for the female not being fresh yeah
Speaker5: yeah
Speaker4: okay but you walk into a room and you can smell it and again i i laugh i i joke but it's true i have the nose of a bloodhound and the moment i walk into something and i smell that my answer is i'm out no you're well you're And I have actually,
Speaker1: I
Speaker4: have actually stopped a play session with a couple because of that.
Speaker1: But
Speaker5: okay, here's, here's, I'm going to rebuttal this to a certain degree. I'm going to rebuttal this because I have this. Okay, so this is legit. Last weekend at Candyland, I had this conversation at the bar with the guy because we were doing a finger train. And then he takes his fingers out and I'm like, shit, do I smell? and I'm like because because I swear to freaking god when I ovulate I like there is a smell like I can I think it kind of smells good it's weird but whatever like there is there's a scent that I have and I swear I am not alone and it's not because I'm not clean it's not because of anything else but you can't it you can't control that so no I will only want to know this is
Speaker4: like this is is like heavy bv smell this is like full -on
Speaker1: like
Speaker4: i'm not talking about that because i have the same thing there's there's a different little fresh smell or i don't know it's like a sweetie sugary smell yeah whatever the cowboy can tell you what it smells like i i
Speaker1: only
Speaker4: wafted on the aftermath no but i'm talking like
Speaker1: i'm
Speaker4: not good like bv something's gone sour down there
Speaker1: and
Speaker4: we're walking into a room to play. Now, I have had this conversation with some other men where they're like, I didn't even notice it. How do you not notice that? Like, your face is in it, my friend. How do you come out of that?
Speaker5: I think that too. Mr. Waterworks can go down on me and then he kisses me. Like, I can smell it. He's like, you smell like me? I smell me on your face? Like, you're making out? And he's like, I don't smell it. Like, okay.
Speaker1: It
Speaker5: tastes good. I
Speaker4: don't know what it is. I think it's like a Ben sensory thing where it just all shuts off. I don't know what it is. But it wasn't just one guy I asked. It just calls them in. They
Speaker5: don't even know. I
Speaker4: don't know. But I asked like three guys, three or four guys. And they all said the same thing. I'm like, I don't know how you do that because I can't go down on someone. If I get like from here to the wall and I can smell it, that's the end of it. I'm not going any closer.
Speaker1: Can
Speaker5: you take an extension finger and be like, okay. I
Speaker4: got you. I got you back here.
Speaker1: I
Speaker4: mean, I do have one of those little extender fingers. But that would still be too close. You
Speaker5: need like a 24 inch double ender dildo to make them.
Speaker4: That's like stiff on the end so that she can
Speaker1: play. Well,
Speaker5: can I tell you a funny story? Oh, this is off topic. Totally off topic. One of the first times we got involved in the lifestyle, we met this couple and definitely exploring like girl, girl play. And they're like, yeah, we got a double ender. Like, sweet. They just bought it. We met them at the bar and then we're like, let's get a room like right across the street at the hotel. So it's kind of a last minute thing, whatever. And they walked in to the hotel with a double ender in their bag. And it was so long, both ends were, you know, like out of the bag on the top side. No one can see this visual, but both ends of the cock were hanging out. Like it's a flexible one. It was like a U -shape and both
Speaker1: mushroom
Speaker5: heads were hanging outside the bag. And they're just hollering it with it over their shoulder. they check in and the guy's like four of us are standing there what are you doing i'm
Speaker4: gonna use that thing in the back i
Speaker5: look pretty don't mind me i'm just gonna go fuck the girl sorry tangent on double enders but
Speaker1: hey
Speaker4: ours was a spiky one that did not work out very well that thing is like a death trap and i wasn't now
Speaker1: it's
Speaker4: just a piece of art that gets laid out in the room you've seen it yeah
Speaker5: I did I took a picture
Speaker4: of it so
Speaker5: yeah when Mr. Doll came to I don't remember what event it was night one of
Speaker1: that
Speaker5: was not even ours
Speaker4: that's the funny part that wasn't even ours
Speaker1: oh he
Speaker5: like suction cupped it he's like yeah I'm going home in this new room it was like oh that was
Speaker4: my five -pounder oh Mr. Doll
Speaker5: I did not know this about you this is uh that is uh but I was I didn't use it, but I kind of wanted to see what I could do with it. But that's huge.
Speaker4: I mean, you can get maybe like three inches on it.
Speaker1: Okay.
Speaker4: That's about as far as I can get with it. Anyway, I told everyone, I'm like, it's my safety that like I leave it out next to my bed. And if someone decides to break in, I'm just going to throw a five pound dildo at you. And I hope that you can just duck it.
Speaker5: No. This sounds like a podcast episode waiting to happen. in yeah this is like howard's turnstile like let's suction this dildo here and let's just see what and who can do something with this thing there
Speaker4: you know i've had quite a few who think they could i
Speaker5: feel like it could do something with it but i would probably be humbled but i would like to try very
Speaker4: much it would be fun though that's the next that's it that's my standard is to watch someone
Speaker1: to
Speaker5: watch
Speaker4: i won't play with you until i'm not playing with you until you can do this prove yourself
Speaker5: girl I
Speaker1: love
Speaker5: that
Speaker1: okay
Speaker5: well we'll see what we can we'll see what we can figure out we can muster up dildo topic I like that
Speaker1: we'll
Speaker4: throw that in with our uh we can throw that in with a smut book recommendation and our porn habits
Speaker1: you
Speaker4: know you know our porn and recommended toys there you go that's a good one we can do that at some point later down the road I
Speaker5: love that definitely recommended toys and i feel like i want to ask other people their recommended toys because there are some i've played with other couples where i've been like what's that thing where'd you get that like
Speaker1: you
Speaker5: know
Speaker1: you've
Speaker5: got good stuff out there we need to share you need to share those details with us don't keep that stuff hidden we
Speaker4: all need that all right
Speaker1: so
Speaker4: then i want to ask so now that we're off our our fun and whatever it's a it works it still works okay tangents are great. I love tangents sometimes. Okay. So now we stopped when one couple has two different standards or whatever, non -negotiables standards. How do you feel that plays into you as
Speaker1: the
Speaker4: married couple, you know, as, as you and Mr. Waterworks, for example, you, like you said, you guys sometimes have different standards depending on, you know, standards and non -negotiables about the couples that you play with how do you guys resolve or meet in the middle with your friends even with your friends too not just each other but with your friends as well
Speaker1: on
Speaker4: uh when that happens i
Speaker5: think that's tough i think i think in different ways both me and mr waterworks have like met in the middle he probably has met a little bit more than i have but i think that's because i'm more vocal about some things that i want i think he's less vocal vocal sometimes about things and I think he's more willing to be like okay sure we'll explore that so I think that's a little bit part of our dynamic but I definitely think we have had to do that when we first started I swear he was the one who had the high standard so I'm like oh okay I don't know and then and then after like six months like uh no whatever you want to do that's what we're gonna do because if you don't want to play with the guy I don't get to explore with the girl I'm like, well, that's not
Speaker1: fully
Speaker5: right. So it's definitely a process very, very early on for us to like go through that roller coaster. I would say now it's a lot easier, but I think we are OK with the hall pass. And so I think that's how we've mitigated that difference of different standards of like, OK, you that's what you want to go for. And you're interested. You want to explore that. We let that go. But that was, I think the hall pass was always part of our picture, but never fully like 100 % comfortable. Like we're like, okay, yeah, but it was a work in progress. And I think we're definitely at a different place with a hall pass. We definitely let each other still do a hall pass if we want to, but it's not often. And it's not regular. And it's got to be the right time, right situation, right place. I still need to make sure he is feeling
Speaker1: he's
Speaker5: the 100%, you know, person for me and I'm his 100 % person versus like, hey, I want to go
Speaker1: fuck
Speaker5: that girl or that guy or whatever. And like, you know what, fuck me in three weeks or vice versa. I haven't fucked him in three weeks. That's a very,
Speaker1: you
Speaker5: know, elaborate example. But, you know, just I
Speaker1: think
Speaker5: we take that into account. But I think for us, we've mitigated that standard and that difference and we're not all vibing by allowing the howl pass to occur, to explore those kind
Speaker1: of
Speaker5: desires or interests or fantasies. I don't know if that fully answered your question. No,
Speaker4: it does. I mean, and like I said, I feel like the cowboy and I kind of do the same thing where, you know, it is still it for us is still a learning process. But I also, you know, I for us, I also want to say it kind of like you said it, it was it started out that way.
Speaker1: But
Speaker4: it also became it also became the fact of he would have the energy going again, so strong with one person, but not everyone as a four way connection was working. And this is even with couples that we play with regularly. And, you know, some of us were just obviously slower than others. And so the hall pass kind of became a not only want to try and explore a certain person, but also to have that freedom to go and be with someone separately that we've been with as a whole together. but I do feel that I don't know my standard on that is very much again and and I guess I do I do have a standard when it comes to especially playing separately even at events and stuff is that where is my mindset at because obviously there are times where he may come in and he is ready to he's ready to go and he has someone in mind that he wants to you know possibly go and take. Not always, but then he'll come to me and I'm like, and I do, I feel bad because they're just times where I just, that's not what I'm after. And like you said, if you haven't, you know, we haven't had sex in three weeks, you know, which again, for our listeners, the two of us, our other halves travel a lot. So that can actually happen. And then to go from them traveling to going to an event. And all of a sudden I have to say, yep, we're going into to share, but I haven't gotten him first. That's another thing.
Speaker1: Maybe
Speaker4: that's my thing. It's not really a standard on people and couples. It's more of a standard on events. And
Speaker5: just the standards of those peoples and those couples, it goes out the window when we are feeling that, you know, we haven't made those connections with our partner yet. So sorry, that goes on the back burner.
Speaker1: Right
Speaker5: now, this is a priority. And we're here at an event and we want to have fun. And I think that's the allure of the event. A lot of our friends are here. You know, we want to connect with people and be social and be sexy and all the fun things. But sometimes we just need that connection with our person because we haven't had that in however long it is. Or we have been, you know, we've had the connection, but it's been feisty or it's been, you know,
Speaker1: arguments
Speaker5: or whatever. People, life, kids, all the other things are occurring. And you're like, we, we need to connect this week. Even though that's a great fantasy. see it maybe that's a great opportunity all everything else aligned and it's great but sorry I'm not feeling it and we need to connect please so sometimes standards go out the window or they no they're not the one they go to the back back they go to the
Speaker4: back burner
Speaker5: standards going out the windows when you're or you've created a
Speaker4: created a whole new standard and that standard is me
Speaker1: which
Speaker5: is good
Speaker4: it's
Speaker5: good to be selfish sometimes
Speaker1: but
Speaker4: I agree like I enjoy going Going into,
Speaker1: I
Speaker4: think Spring Fling was that for the cowboy and I, or especially for me, was that I went in and I was just like,
Speaker1: I
Speaker4: just wanted to be social. And I don't do that very often. But I felt the need to just be social and have fun and party. And if we got together with someone, great. If we didn't, I was perfectly fine. Which
Speaker5: is a great mentality to have. I think we should all go into events with that. Like, we're going here to have fun. And if something happens, great. If it doesn't, it doesn't. There's no reflection of you or anyone else. It's just sometimes it just doesn't work out. And that is okay. The stars didn't align. So I think that's a great mentality. We all should really own that when we go into events. Like
Speaker4: I said, I jokingly always say expectations are the devil's playground. Every time you go in with some sort of expectation, whether you think you have them or not, 90 % of people walk into an event, have some sort of expectation. And that expectation usually is to find a couple or go into an orgy. And when neither of those things happen,
Speaker1: yeah,
Speaker4: you're with your person and you're happy with your person. But that wasn't what your goal was when you walked into that. So then you go into, you know, just go back to your hotel room with your significant other and you play. And then your significant other is going, what's going on? Because you're obviously not here.
Speaker1: Yeah.
Speaker5: You're disappointed that you didn't get the other pussy, the other cock, whatever it is. which is the real
Speaker1: i'm
Speaker5: full trans we've been there both mr wattericks and i we've been there we're like yeah we had fun but i wanted more i wanted different i want you know and i think that's very natural i sure hope that's really natural and it's not just us but that happens for us plenty of times i
Speaker4: also go it also goes back to like what we were talking about in a previous episode it's just communication that's the signal thing right there if if you have an expectation or you have someone in a mind, then say it. We're not mind readers. No one's a mind reader. If you want it and you don't ask for it and all of a sudden it doesn't happen, the only person you can be butthurt at is yourself, in my opinion, because I've done it. I've done it, too. That's why I said I do my best every time we go in to not have an agenda, to have zero expectations, to just go in, go into dance and have fun with my friends.
Speaker1: Which
Speaker4: is a great
Speaker5: thing.
Speaker1: I
Speaker5: think it's a great thing sometimes I end up
Speaker4: naked with them great if I don't okay you will not see me complaining well
Speaker5: I like this this is great I think we had some great great conversations what do you think miss doll I
Speaker4: agree I think we did great so
Speaker5: I just want to put a plug out there unless we have more to talk about but I got a plug for okay so here's what I'm thinking I was having a conversation with a girlfriend and I want to hear all about people's bucket lists like not Not your bucket list, but your fuck it list. What are like your regular things you want to like do? Not regular, I don't know if that's the right word, but like what are your things you want to fuck around with and do to like your raunchiest, dirtiest, naughtiest ones? So I would love, we've got a list. I've got a girlfriend who's got a list like that you wouldn't believe and it's amazing. But I want to know everyone else's. So I would love listeners, if you're still listening, reach out to Ms. Dahl. Where do they reach you at, Ms. Dahl? So
Speaker4: you can reach me on CND on my Mrs. Doll profile page. You can send DMs there, messages, and give us your fuck it list.
Speaker5: Mm -hmm. I want to hear it. I want to work on mine.
Speaker1: Right?
Speaker5: I think it's great. I don't know. You can reach me. You got to update it. It's just like your profile. You got to update it. You can reach out to me, Eliza, at EJDesires on Reddit, on OnlyFans, or on Waterworks on CND. We want to know what your fuck it list is. I want to know what these crazy, raunchy, nasty, amazing, kinky fucking fuck it list things are. Obviously, you got your regular,
Speaker1: well,
Speaker5: regular, whatever that means. But I want to know what these are and I want to digest these. So we want to hear about it. We're going to talk about the bucket list next time. Wonderful. So stay tuned. Stay tuned. Thanks, listeners. Bye.
Speaker1: Hey,
Speaker6: Dave, where can people listen to today's episode? On downdirtypodcast.com or on any major platform. Hey, Dave, what's the best lifestyle website in the world? Well, of course, that's couplesnextdoor.com, where you can unlock desires beyond the ordinary. Hey,
Speaker2: Dave, who made
Speaker3: it possible to
Speaker2: listen
Speaker3: to today's episode?
Speaker1: The
Speaker6: Down and Dirty Production Company. Hey
Speaker3: Dave, who's taking them sexy photos for the cover art? Passionscapes Photography. That's my jam in the background. Dave, who is that? Sounds by Victoria. Oh, I like that. Hey Dave, where can I get some of those sexy outfits from my lady friend? Glitzbyjax.com
Speaker1: Shut
Speaker3: the fuck up. How you doing that shit again? This is dumb as shit. Hey Dave.
