Mrs. Doll and Eliza get into what makes a lifestyle profile actually work — from profile names and pictures to descriptions, play styles, hall passes, and the details people skip that end up mattering the most.This one goes deeper than the usual “what not to do” conversation. They break down why generic names get lost, why both people should actually exist in the photos, what your profile should say about communication and dynamics, why your real age matters, and why updating your profile matters more than most people think.Key Topics / Search Terms lifestyle profiles profile names CND profiles profile pictures hall passes play style communication style real age on profiles single male and single female profiles updating your profileWhat We Talk About Why memorable profile names stand out more than generic auto-generated names How creative names, photos, and contact follow-up make it easier to find people again after events Why couples should include pictures of both people instead of only featuring one partner What your description should actually say about your life, communication, chemistry, and pace Why writing the “his” and “hers” sections for each other can be more useful than writing your own How hall passes, solo event attendance, and play-style dynamics should be explained clearly Why your real age matters more than people think Red flags like empty descriptions, “we’ll add later,” and profiles that expect people to do all the work Why profiles should be reviewed and updated at least once a year as your dynamic changesGuests Credits No external guests featured in this episodeSponsors / Partners Passionscapes Photography — https://passionscapes.com/work Glitz by Jax — https://glitzbyjax.comStudio Partner CND — https://couplesnextdoor.com Referral code: DD25Calls to Action Follow and subscribe to The Down Dirty Podcast Rate and review the show Find us on CND and major podcast platformsListen Connecthttps://downdirtypodcast.comDown Dirty Productions is a sex-positive, consent-forward space for honest conversation. This episode reflects personal experiences and opinions and is not medical, legal, or therapeutic advice.
Transcript
Speaker1: Hey, Chuck, you know what happens to me at every fucking party now? What happens? Somebody comes up to me quoting some shit we say. Listen, people, do not take this BS as law. This is for entertainment and educational purposes only. And
Speaker2: if you're below the age of 18, this is not for you.
Speaker3: Hey,
Speaker4: down and dirty listeners, it's your girl, Eliza. It's time to get out from behind the speakers and step into action.
Speaker3: On
Speaker4: April 25th, Couples Next Door is holding a total hotel takeover party called Halfoween. You heard that right. Right? Halfoween is in halfway to Halloween. Costume party style heroes and villains.
Speaker3: Come
Speaker4: as your favorite hero, your favorite villain, or your favorite alter ego for the night.
Speaker3: All
Speaker4: the details can be found on Couples Next Door. Reservations, outfit inspirations, and questions you want to find out. This is your chance to show up, show out, and see what the lifestyle is all about.
Speaker3: If
Speaker4: you want to know more about what I'm going to wear,
Speaker3: find
Speaker4: me on EJ Desires on Sex
Speaker5: Panther or EJ Desires VIP on OnlyFans.
Speaker3: Can't
Speaker5: wait to see you there. Find the Down and Dirty podcast at downdirtypodcast.com. And this clip is sponsored by Passionscapes Photography.
Speaker3: I'm
Speaker6: Ms. Dahl and I'm here with my wonderful co -host, Eliza. Eliza, what are we talking about today? Oh, tonight we're going to talk about
Speaker4:
profiles, profile names, things you put on your profile, things you read about on other people's profile, what matters and maybe
Speaker3: what
Speaker4: doesn't. So yeah, I think this will be a fun one. I'm excited to talk about all the different names and all the different things that people include in their profile. This
Speaker6: is a good one. Now, from a while back, we did a brief one with the professor and Chuck D on profiles. It was more of a what not to do situation. To the ballot. From their perspective. This is like 90 % from their perspective. It was a fun episode, but I want to do like what you said. I want to go in a tad bit more into depth on it versus just a bunch of
Speaker3: banter,
Speaker6: maybe. Sure, sure.
Speaker4: But I do want to start with a little banter. So here's the deal. Here's where this idea came from for me. I was listening to a podcast last week and it was an older one. It was a different, it wasn't our podcast. It was another lifestyle swingers kind of podcast. And they brought up profile names. And I very quickly got very defensive because our screen name is Waterworks. And it's Waterworks for a reason. I provide them and my husband creates them. So they're a very well known podcast. And they did a survey. I don't know how many people responded, but they did a survey of which profile name turns turns you off the most? The raunchy one, the generic ABCD123, like JE2005, Minnesota. And then like the generic sexy couple, 14. Sexy Minnesota couple, 72. Sexy Minnesota couple, 69. And what turns you off the most? Lake lovers. Yeah. Right. 68. Yes. Where like the system manually creates this for you. And I will say we used to be the ABC123. It was our first initials. we were married in 2005 we were from minnesota like very generic and mr waterworks my husband he wanted to change it into something more fun and so we changed it to waterworks but lo and behold on this podcast everyone vetoed and said the least attractive profile name was the raunchy ones like we don't need that don't throw that in our face and i'm like oh no are people hating my profile name i think it's pretty funny so i don't know it makes me think though as there's creative ones out other. Mr. and Mrs. Dow, where did your profile name even come from? What's the background if you have a story behind that? I mean, mine is, as you think about that, mine is pretty obvious, Waterworks.
Speaker3: We
Speaker4: provide Waterworks.
Speaker6: Ours was actually, it was a random thought of mine, let's put it this way. So for those who don't know me, I love to read smut books. It's my favorite topic in the whole wide world. And one of the books that I had been reading at that time was a very dark, twisted topic, but they had a lot of BDSM in it. And throughout the last several years, the cowboy and I have done the BDSM tests. And we do the full -fledged BDM test thing. And that was kind of how we kind of figured out where, what, who, when, and how are the things that we love and like. And so from that, I derived our screen name for Mr. and Mrs. Mrs. Doll. Sure. It was it was very much a random thought because he sat there and he was like he he's like I've created this we need to name what is it and he looks at me and I'm like uh
Speaker3: this
Speaker6: ridiculous look on my face but that's how we created our screen name. Yeah
Speaker4: and I think a lot of people it's easy I don't when you first create that screen name
Speaker3: you
Speaker4: don't know like what you're maybe getting into especially if this is like you're like kind of just start starting to explore the lifestyle. Like how like forward do you be? Like we were, we were generic. We were the generic ABC one, two, three for a long time. And I know a lot of people were, but I also know a lot of people who've changed their profile name as they've gotten more comfortable. They've explored, you know, who they are. So there's also
Speaker6: one thing that I've learned as well with that, why people
Speaker3: go
Speaker6: the generic route. So for us, we had already had a profile on a couple of other sites before we found C &D that we've paid memberships for. So when we came to C &D and we created our profile name, we knew that we wanted the profile name to be and stay the same as what we had everywhere else. And we had already gone and
Speaker3: we
Speaker6: already knew we were going to pay the
Speaker3: whatever,
Speaker6: the yearly package, whatever it was.
Speaker3: I
Speaker6: have found that there are quite a few people that we have talked to where they say, They say, oh, yeah, we just threw out this screen name, whatever it is, because we weren't we aren't paid members.
Speaker3: OK,
Speaker4: yeah. So
Speaker6: they just create this thing. And then later on, when they continue to stay with it and meet people, go to events, that stuff, then they go. And, you know, on a non -paid profile, you cannot message people and you can't receive messages. So you have to pay in order to do that. And that's usually about the turning point where I hear where people are like, oh, yeah, well, we decided we were going to become paid members. So we changed our screen name. But you are correct. There are a lot. And most recently that have done a lot of changes to their screen names.
Speaker4: So we changed our profile name. And, you know, we accept like all friends, like when you can accept friends on, you know, or say, hey, will you be my friend on CND, the website?
Speaker3: But
Speaker4: plenty of people we've never met. We maybe chatted with a little bit online or on the profile or whatever. But we changed our name. and we had like a good influx of people like oh are you new here oh you're you're so great like oh I don't know you I'm like oh we chatted last week at the event again you only see my body like you don't see my face so you don't know that I'm actually well yeah and until
Speaker6: you get used to Eliza's boobs in public like you
Speaker3: you
Speaker6: won't see you won't notice it on the phone
Speaker3: once
Speaker6: you do and you you can still connect the dots without having
Speaker3: to see your face yeah
Speaker4: so I thought that was pretty It totally triggered me when I was listening to that podcast the other day. I'm like, gosh, I wonder what people are actually thinking of my name or our previous names. And there's no shade against any of the generic names. It's safe. It's easy. It's like, hey, we're figuring this out. And you may never change it. But I think the profile names, I like the creativity. I like whether it's around to your just, I mean, Mr. and Mrs. Dahl, I know who you are. Man in the Woods, I know who he is. You just know that's who he is. And it's not just sexy couple number 42, sexy couple 69. Those ones, my only challenge is when we actually meet. I'm like, oh, you're sexy couple 42. And then when I go back on to C &D, like, let's say we meet at an event on a Saturday. I can't find them. Spring fling's coming up. And I'm like, hey, so which sexy couple was that? I don't remember. Was it 14? Was it 22? Was it 2007? Like, I don't remember which sexy couple that was. So I think that's the one challenge that my husband and I, like, we've gone through. I'm like, I got to look at all the pictures to be like, oh, that was them. There we go.
Speaker6: Like, because it's hard to find them. And even then that doesn't actually work. They get lost in the mix. And if you don't get their contact information, because like some couples won't even give like a Snapchat or anything like that. If they're not willing to do that, then yeah, you will get lost in the basic of all the Minnesota Lake 152 or,
Speaker3: you
Speaker6: know, whatever pops up. So then we'll take a profile name and we will extend it to the photos. Because when you're in this situation and you're specifically looking for a couple and they have a generic name, And then you go to their profile looking for pictures of them to find some sort of marker to know whether or not that's the couple that you talked to or not. And there are zero photos.
Speaker3: This
Speaker6: is my biggest pet peeve, personally.
Speaker3: I
Speaker6: don't like going to a couple profile, especially,
Speaker3: and
Speaker6: seeing only pictures of the females. You are a couple. I understand that more than likely your wife is the hook, line, and sinker
Speaker3: and you
Speaker6: want to show her off. But you were trying to
Speaker3: get
Speaker6: other couples and other females to come and talk to you and make friends with you and find that chemistry to be sexual in a bedroom with you. And if I can't find that in the very beginning, looking at photos of both of you, chances are even if we meet in person,
Speaker3: you
Speaker6: have like a 20,
Speaker3: 75
Speaker6: chance maybe. It's just different.
Speaker4: It's just totally different. And it's hard. We are guilty. Like I raised my hand. We are guilty. And that's on Mr. Waterworks. And here's his thought. He has posted a picture of himself on Manhood Monday or whatever day it is. And he has posted himself and he gets five likes. I post, I get way more likes than he gets. He struggles like, I don't want to post in there and be super vulnerable and then no one likes the picture. And I totally get what he's saying. But I'm with you, Ms. Dahl. Like, I want to see this human being. I very much am very attracted to personalities. Even if I visually see you, I'm like, you know, it's not my tall, dark and handsome, which my husband's tall, dark and handsome, but it's not my jacked, like ripped, you know, like, oh, look at that man from my smut book like that I'm picturing. Just to be like, hey, you're real. I think that matters. It could be just your cock fucking her pussy. A semi close up. You have to exist in a picture for me to be like, let's talk to them. Let's connect. Not that I would rule it out, but it piques the interest. Like, you know, I agree. And I
Speaker6: do agree with you on that. So I do not think that a lot of the men get enough love on CND. I will say that outright, which I think is absolutely unfair.
Speaker3: Also,
Speaker6: like the cowboy doesn't post a lot of things either, but we do post a lot of pictures of the two of us together, like at events or other things. If you're not comfortable posting just a picture of yourself,
Speaker3: whatever
Speaker6: the case may be, then do a couple pictures as a couple. that way people know hey yeah he does exist hey look they really are a couple and it doesn't have to be
Speaker4: a lifestyle picture it could have been you at your sister's wedding and you're in a tie exactly and she's in her dress like just exactly
Speaker6: it doesn't have to be a dick pic it doesn't have to be naked it doesn't have to be i mean it can be but if that's something that you're not entirely comfortable with and again this is my other thing i am one of those i don't chase the likes i i I,
Speaker3: to
Speaker6: be honest, the cowboy is the one that posts like 90 % of the pictures that we have. And then, you know, we'll have other people text me and they're like, oh, I loved your picture. And I'm like, there's a picture out there.
Speaker3: Cool. Yeah, I've
Speaker4: gotten that before. I'm like, oh, hot picture. I'm like, oh, what is it? I don't know. Yeah, what'd you put up?
Speaker3: Okay,
Speaker4: so here's what I'm hearing. One, the screen name can be entertaining, funny, or generic, and it's all good. But having some kind of memorable name may help you stand out. and profile pictures are important. Okay. But how there's so many other factors like in the profile, when you're creating
Speaker3: his
Speaker4: style play, her style play, your age, what you're both interested in. Do you play solo? Do you have a hall pass? Like all those things. When someone starts connecting with you or when you get a message from someone, like for me, I look at their profile. I do. I'm really curious, like who these people are. And I know not everyone does, but what do you miss style like look for what stands out to you on the actual like information as far as what's on the profile the
Speaker6: important part to me is have have description and what I mean by that is not only just like why you entered the lifestyle even if it's just a small piece but how you communicate best if you have a life outside of this which is handy because there's a lot of people who they cannot chat 24 -7.
Speaker4: On
Speaker6: ours, we have the fact that, you know, we are happily married, we have kids, so we don't expect it. And
Speaker3: we
Speaker6: don't want you to expect that we will talk to you all the time. I am horrendously horrible at this sometimes where we will start a group chat. I am there for a hot second and then
Speaker3: life
Speaker6: gets thrown at me and I'm like, I don't have the mental capacity to
Speaker3: continue
Speaker6: to catch up with this on a constant. Have the things that you like to do. So like you like to go to concerts, you like to go to bars and, you know, bar hop or play darts or go fishing, whatever the case, game nights, those kinds of things. A little bit about yourselves, like you said, the him and her things. So I did his and he did mine. And that works out really really well because you guys get to describe your other half to other people. It's not me trying to describe myself because that would turn out ugly. It's not him trying to describe himself, which he would never fit his head through a door again. But those are also, that's also his characteristic. He's a very charismatic person.
Speaker4: It's interesting. Now that you say that, you did his and he did yours. I don't even know the last time we've edited or changed or updated our profile and we We probably should. Here we are talking about profiles like I don't even know what's on ours. Like I I'm going to we're going to leave here and I'm going to get on that. But I like that idea because I can I can definitely in my opinion, I will look at someone's profile and I will be like one person wrote the whole thing, which not that's not bad, but one person wrote the whole thing. And I bet if I read this, you know, hers versus his, and you read that profile, again, it's both parties being present. Like, so I kind of like that idea of write it for each other. And it's also how the world sees you. Like how I might portray myself or what I say about myself may not be how everyone else does. And some outsider looking in, aka my husband, he can look in and be like, no, this is how you present yourself. This is how the world sees you. I think that's really great. You know, one of the things I look for is when, because this is my husband and I are dynamic, is when someone says they're shy at first, but they will open up or they're outgoing at first and they will open up. I think that's really important because sometimes shyness can be mistaken for like lack of interest, especially when I'm as like
Speaker3: in
Speaker4: your face and hey, how are you? And I'm like, they're like not, they're not giving the same energy level back. well I'm fucking scaring them that's first off probably um but I just so I think that's really important is if you have a
Speaker3: slower
Speaker4: to warm up kind of mentality or like you know that or I'm in your face kind of mentality which that's me and my husband's the slower to not sort of arm he's just an observer like he just figures it out I
Speaker6: was gonna say he likes to observe it until he gets to his comfort level that he's after and then then he gets into it like there's no big deal yeah says the man who wore a freaking finger for halloween yeah oh
Speaker4: my
Speaker3: god and
Speaker4: he picked that out that was 100 he picked he was sitting on the couch and he goes and he started just rolling laughing if you were at the halloween event my husband was the shocker
Speaker3: um
Speaker4: and we were sitting on the couch 9 30 p.m i'm half asleep and he just starts cry laughing and i'm like what's going on He's like, I know my Halloween costume. He's laughing so hard. He shows me like, OK, because that means we're not being a we're not being a couple's costume at that point. But I like that on a personal level to know that characteristic of who you are as a communicator or in a group setting or on a one on one date with like two couple or both couples. Like I think those kind of things shed a lot of light when I go into that meeting or that meet and greet. reads. I'm like, okay, so this is a little bit about who you are. I think those things matter so much. I
Speaker6: also think knowing, like writing down things that you are looking for, I was going to say achieve, that's not the word, but what you're looking for in that chemistry or that connection that you're trying to make, basically saying you want to be able to laugh, have fun with someone, you are looking for that chemistry that matches and
Speaker3: that
Speaker6: we're not pushy people. So we go at the the pace of the slowest person kind of deal. We call ourselves social swingers, meaning we like to create friendships before we even cross that barrier into the play session, because I have to be able to have a level of comfort with you on a friend level first. I am an empath, so I have to be able to read that. And if by any chance, like if you're having a bad day,
Speaker3: I
Speaker6: am great to say, say, hey, we can keep trying. But I read that energy right away. And if it's there, it's there. If it's not there, it's not there.
Speaker3: And
Speaker4: sometimes it can be there quick. A first date can definitely go that direction. And a first date might be like, hey, I like this, but let's have a second, a third, or let's just hang out. It doesn't even need to be a date. Like just let's meet at the next event. Let's hang out and stand, you know, like dance or whatever. But it can happen sometimes It's both quick and fast, but that connection needs to be present. You need
Speaker6: to have that. Also communication.
Speaker3: Sure.
Speaker6: So for us, we have stated on here, we are direct communicators. So if you aren't feeling it, just say it. We are not Minnesota nice people. You do not have to beat around the bush. If you don't like it, if it's not there, just say it and we'll say cool. Then we'll see you around and we'll have drinks with you when we can.
Speaker3: Okay.
Speaker6: Just say it.
Speaker4: And you don't have to be mean about it, but yeah. Yeah, you can be Minnesota nice and just say it.
Speaker6: We'll do it nicely, but we'll just say our play styles just don't match. You guys are great people. We'll continue to be friends. Like we'll see you at events and stuff like that. But our play styles just don't match.
Speaker3: And
Speaker6: then at the very bottom where it has like, yes, we do have hall passes. Now, again, we have that there, but that is usually very specific. So, you know, again,
Speaker3: if
Speaker6: you were asking about that hall pass, know that that is more than likely just an event only situation unless we state otherwise. And then, of course, the things that you like down at his play style, her play style, like fill that stuff out. That's another thing that
Speaker4: I wonder how many couples out there who are on CND or even singles or throuples, whoever you are, you're on CND. I mean, once you create your profile, other than adding pictures and maybe if you're like dynamic, you're like situation, you were a throuple. now you're a couple or you're a couple and now you're a triple or like whatever that situation is unless something drastic changes you're probably not changing your profile and I'm actually really curious like how many other people are just like it's their profile I'm not changing much after this I
Speaker6: don't I
Speaker4: don't think I've gone back I
Speaker6: would suggest updating at least once a year and here's my reasoning behind it for us especially and this isn't for But if you start to slowly adjust things within your dynamic in the lifestyle or just in general, like small things start to change. I can't sit here and get upset at people who have read my profile
Speaker3: and
Speaker6: then say, well, you never stated that. True. You're right. I probably didn't because it was never updated. updated. So when people reach out to you and they're going off of what you have stated on your profile, but then you're sitting here going, well, no, we don't do that anymore. We do this, and this. Well, how are they to know? So
Speaker3: I
Speaker6: say yearly do an update with it. If you decide to add or take something away from it, then great. I'll say like you had hall passes and now you've decided you don't want to do hall passes anymore. It didn't work out the way you wanted it to. Well, if you continue to leave it as hall passes, well, guess what? You're going to have couples who are going to reach out for you because you have hall passes. And then you're You're going to start turning down all these couples and then you'll get to an event and go, well, why doesn't anyone want to talk to me now? Well,
Speaker3: yeah, that's
Speaker4: why.
Speaker3: I
Speaker4: think that's pretty valid. I'm a feeling that this episode is going to air and we're going to be like, there's going to be like a data like influx, like profile change. Well, mine's going to change tonight. I don't know if it's going to change, but I'm going to look at it actually. Okay. Yep. We can update some things. What
Speaker6: would you put as the what not to do's?
Speaker4: what not to do very clearly and my very strong opinion and this is me this is me and Mr. Waterworks put your real fucking age I don't care if it's the wrong birthday you don't want to identify yourself which actually even put your birthday because we're going to wish you happy birthday because we all get the email that says hey it's so -and -so's birthday tomorrow and I had a friend like a person that we knew kind of closely but I didn't know their birthday like we hung out like like for six months, I don't know what their birthday was. And all of a sudden I got an email, I'm like, it's your birthday tomorrow. They're like, what? I'm like, it's your birthday. Like, no, it's not. I'm like,
Speaker3: well,
Speaker4: it fucking says it's your birthday. Put your, at least your age. I don't know. And I am, I, my age range is very wide open. So I have flexibility to that, but I swear most people I know and have connected with on CND, there's a range and whatnot. and you might be like, I won't play with anyone over 50 or 40 or 55 or 60, whatever that number is. But then you can put that in your profile. You can. And the information about us. And you meet someone, you're like, you don't look like you're 50 years old. You don't look like you're 45. Exactly.
Speaker3: Like
Speaker4: ages and numbers. How the hell am I supposed to know? No. So put your real profile or age down because they're one of the first couples. And I don't know, I hope, I'm going to send this podcast to you because you got to listen to this. But one of the first profiles, we went on a date with them. They wouldn't even tell us their age. All we knew is that they weren't the age on their profile. And they became some of our best, closest friends. But just put
Speaker3: your
Speaker4: real fucking age. And if your age throws someone off, they're not your people anyways.
Speaker3: Move
Speaker4: on. If they care that much about a number. Then
Speaker6: make sure that you have it in your profile, that you are specific about
Speaker4: your age range.
Speaker1: Yes.
Speaker4: And you know what? You're probably cool enough, good enough for somebody that they'll be like, oh, fuck. And you win them over and be like, yeah, you didn't like my age, but now you do. Now you do.
Speaker6: Yep. My other thing is, is do not come into this about me description after the age and everything and go.
Speaker3: We
Speaker6: are a fun couple. We want to meet new people. We're brand new to this. we will add later on.
Speaker3: Yeah. Are
Speaker6: you serious right now? And then go in and do a flash flood of friending. All these profiles and stuff that you
Speaker3: want
Speaker6: to talk to or whatever the case may be. Okay, I don't know the
Speaker3: circumstances.
Speaker4: They're putting themselves out there, but no, you have to provide something.
Speaker3: I
Speaker4: agree.
Speaker6: It's all a red flag. Like, you are going to get denied friendships. You are going to get denied conversations to other couples because they're going to go straight to your profile, see two pictures. And that information, which is no information, by the way,
Speaker3: and
Speaker6: that's the end of it. I would
Speaker4: say 99.9 % agree with you. I think that's so true. I'm sure for many people, not many, I'm sure for some people, you maybe have had a pretty, like, basic profile and you've reached out to someone. maybe you had a decent amount of album pictures. So at least like, okay, I can get you to know you that way. So I'm sure people are have found some kind of success. But I would, I 100 % agree with you that you have to have that conversation first. And then if you have had that conversation with your partner, you know what you're putting in there. And I know that when when people like, hey, we're here to explore, we're really curious about this, we're interested. That's great. I'm sure you've said that. But what do you want? We're looking just to meet people. It's going to be completely social. And at some point, we will want to maybe try to engage in some kind of full swap, soft swap, you know, parallel play, whatever that could be. I will say I've had people who have connected with me on some of my social, my online platforms who've like, I really want to get into this. But like, how do I get my partner into this? It's not by creating a profile and then like throwing that at them. I love this. Go ahead, create a profile, but not on a couples next door site. This is not, in my opinion, there is a lot of great exploratory places where you can be like, okay, like here's the thing. But I've told everybody, like find podcasts. Here are some podcasts. Here's where you can like listen. And if you are in a healthy healthy marriage or in a marriage where you're ready to explore this because the lifestyle isn't going to save your marriage. If you're not in a healthy place, that's not what the lifestyle is. But if you are in a place where you're like, hey, I want to explore this and you bring this up to your partner, sure, there's going to be a lot of maybe different feelings about it all. Shock, scared, fear, anger, because I don't know your partner and whoever they are, but you're not looking to cheat. You're just looking to explore a different side of you sexually. And I think that's a beautiful thing, but obviously that's my perspective. But yeah, I think that profile and that description piece really, really matters. When I first look at profile, I don't know what I first go to, to tell you the truth.
Speaker3: I
Speaker6: honestly read everything first. I don't usually pay attention to the age. It is just number. So I kind of glance over that, but I personally will go straight to the description part of it. And I will see how how descriptive you are on not only what you're after, what is it that you've joined the community for, you know, that kind of stuff. And
Speaker4: the his and the hers, I really like that. I think that I really love how you're like, he writes it for her, she writes it for him, or if it's a triple account, but just write it for your partner. I think that's, I love that. I absolutely love that. And I want to challenge everyone to go back and revisit that. And then I think that's also really beautiful. Oh, that just got really sentimental. Really beautiful. But I think that's really a cool thing. Then your partner gets to hear like
Speaker3: how
Speaker4: you see them. And it's a positive thing. Like how sexy and hot is that? I don't know. I'm going to. I
Speaker6: know. And then everyone else gets to read about it.
Speaker4: We're going to go fuck real nice tonight after I rewrite something great about you. Really? Me? Yeah. I'm like, yeah. And
Speaker6: then at the very bottom of ours, because the single males will reach out to the couples a lot of the time. we have in it that if I'm interested, I will reach out to you. And then that way,
Speaker3: we're
Speaker6: not getting flooded by all of the mails that come in, for one. Two,
Speaker3: I
Speaker6: don't have to constantly tell them no.
Speaker3: Yeah.
Speaker6: Which I don't always like. I don't like doing that because I don't like making them feel bad by saying, no, I'm not interested. But again, it goes back to the profile. It goes back to all that information, the photos, all the things. It's already there. Fair.
Speaker3: Again,
Speaker6: not that I don't love me a good dick pic, but that does not need to be the first thing I see.
Speaker3: Yeah. And
Speaker6: when I go to description, it says this is this is the first time I'm doing this. I'm exploring,
Speaker3: looking
Speaker6: for couples and single females. Then that's literally all that is in there.
Speaker3: You
Speaker6: guys have to get just as descriptive as we do. And the females as well. It's not just I am breaking out of my shell. this is whatever the case may be and I am a single female who's joining to explore okay great I think at that point once you've made that profile we kind of all have that idea it is what do you want to explore not that you do we know you do what is it that you want to explore in the lifestyle as a single female joining in
Speaker3: and
Speaker6: as a single male joining in what is it that you are looking for that dynamic that you're looking for or wanting to find and how you want to try and see that play out put that in your descriptions not just hey I'm here come find me for
Speaker4: sure
Speaker3: but
Speaker4: you know it kind of goes back to let's get chased I like to be chased so
Speaker3: come
Speaker4: find me a
Speaker6: little bit do you
Speaker3: like
Speaker6: knowing what the dynamic is in a profile and a couple before you say hey let's go
Speaker4: So tell me more about dynamic. Are you referring to like what they like, don't like, how they communicate, like hall pass,
Speaker6: like their play style? My thought process is play style, hall passes, that kind of stuff. Because there are a lot of times where you have shown up to events by yourself or meet and greets by yourself. The exact opposite where your Mr. Waterworks has done the exact same thing and those kinds of things. Because I know that there are some couples where the dynamic is kind of open -ended on that, where they do have hall passes. So if one goes to an event by themselves, they will invite someone else to go with them. That kind of deal. When I
Speaker4: look at like a profile, I do, we do look at hall pass and not hall passes. I can't say I've ever like capitalized on that. I'm like, oh, hall pass right there. Let's like go into, not a tackle, but like, let's, let's jump in all the way. But I definitely, I would say I do. I can't say I've ever had that conversation with Mr. Waterworks. But so I do look for hall passes of like, hey, what female has a hall pass? Because then we can have like five females. Oh, so an FF, FM? All the Fs in the world, plus him. All the Fs and an M? Yes.
Speaker3: But
Speaker4: that's like the reverse, not gangbang, but like the reverse of that. I want him to have that like crazy fun experience too. too. So we definitely look for hall passes, I would say. And I look for that, too. We do. We go to events solo. We have that dynamic. But I would say most of our like hall pass, it's not dates that we don't go on a little bit here or there, but it's it's less common. We just go to events like we're not social swingers, but most of our play happens at social events. We don't do a lot of dating. And I think honestly, that's just time we have kids like we don't have time to do a a lot of dating and go on a couple's date or go on a solo date because it's hard to find the time. So most of our solo play happens at events, I would say. Which is what we
Speaker6: do too.
Speaker3: Yeah.
Speaker4: But I think we look for that for sure in our dynamic of do they have a hall pass around? It's not a deal breaker by any means.
Speaker3: We
Speaker4: also, I'd say one of the other things that we look for are people who are more full swap, we're not opposed to soft swap. We're not opposed to parallel play. We like all swap.
Speaker3: Yeah.
Speaker4: But if our time is limited because of kids, like we'd rather go that direction just because it's fine, you know, and boy, we're all at Mardi Gras. There is a, there is multiple different dynamics that occurred in that room. And I thought that was awesome because we had, I don't know, seven couples, six couples, five couples that ended up in
Speaker6: our room. We also had a parallel play couple, which I was very shocked at. I'm like, oh,
Speaker3: so
Speaker4: we had all these different dynamics. I don't know if I've ever had that one happen
Speaker6: in a smaller cluster like that in a very big one. But it worked out
Speaker4: so good. It worked out so well. So I think that was great. If I see that on a profile and I,
Speaker3: I
Speaker4: don't know, full transparency, I can be a lot. I have a lot of energy. I have a lot of fun. And I know that can probably annoy annoy people at times. She needs a balloon.
Speaker3: Apple
Speaker6: tracker. I take that back. Both. Yeah, I need the
Speaker4: apple tracker. You need both.
Speaker6: Apple
Speaker4: tracker so
Speaker6: we can find you in the hotel. And
Speaker3: the
Speaker4: balloon on the dance floor. Yeah, there's the pink balloon.
Speaker3: But
Speaker4: I will say when we see a couple that's newer,
Speaker3: I
Speaker4: personally, I will connect with you and talk with you and all the things with you but having like a one -on -one date with people who are newer I always seem to fail the one -on -one date because I think I'm a lot and I think it's scary and I mean I was new not crazy long ago but we are new and I just I I feel like I probably scare people because I'm so open and so honest now I just lost half of our dates for the year but you know that is not true
Speaker3: but but
Speaker4: I I think I think that's just our dynamic is we are very friendly. I promise you we're very friendly. We're very approachable. But I'm going to be fully honest about all my experiences and all the things and new people might be like, holy fuck, that's a lot. I am Miss Waterworks. I think I checked out like multiple people's profiles in the last week. And I'm like, okay, one picture. And if you've been on the site for two days, I get it. If you've been on a site for two months, get another picture or two, especially when you're liking things. And I see that you've checked out my profile. Like you exist.
Speaker6: And if you've been on more than three years, for the love of Christ, do all of the
Speaker4: things. And if you want to find free sexy pictures, there's other sites. We're literally looking like couples next door is looking for swingers. You can find sexy pictures on other places to creep on. So throw some pictures on there, please. And I sure hope, I don't know if they can pull the data after this episode airs, but I really want to know how many profiles change. Mine's going to change, but I really want to see how many profiles tweak it a little bit, add a little bit, change a little bit, take something off. I don't do that anymore. So I'm really curious how much now that you think about it, because sometimes you just stay a little stagnant. So it's going to be a little spice to your profile. while this is fun missed all i like this topic and ladies den is always great yep all right that
Speaker6: is our time in the den today hey
Speaker7: day where can people listen to today's episode on down dirty podcast.com or on any major platform hey day what's the best lifestyle website in the world well of course that's couplesnextdoor.com where you can unlock desires beyond the ordinary hey
Speaker1: day who made it possible to listen to today's
Speaker2: episode the
Speaker7: down and dirty production company hey
Speaker2: dave who's taking them sexy photos for the cover art passionscapes photography that's my jam in the background hey who is that sounds by victoria oh i like that hey dave where can i get some of those sexy outfits my lady friend blitz by jacks.com
Speaker3: what
Speaker2: the fuck up how you doing that shit again this dumb as shit Hey, Dave.
