Miss Scarlet is back with Ryan and David for a conversation about polyamory, ENM, kink, trauma, and the relationship questions people usually ask without really knowing how to ask them.They get into kitchen table poly, whether these labels are clinical or social, why poly feels more visible now than it used to, how swinger culture and poly culture overlap without being the same thing, and why BDSM is too often misunderstood. Miss Scarlet also explains how trauma can shape people’s relationship patterns without reducing everything to “something is wrong with you.”Key Topics / Search Terms polyamory ENM kitchen table poly swinger vs. poly BDSM and trauma sex therapy relationship communication alternative relationshipsWhat We Talk About What “kitchen table poly” actually means Why poly and ENM labels often come from social communities, not rigid clinical categories Why younger generations may have an easier time naming these relationship structures How poly relationships and monogamous relationships can fail for a lot of the same human reasons Why swinger culture and poly culture can overlap while still operating from different relationship goals How BDSM can be misunderstood when people reduce it to pathology instead of consent, control, and meaning Why trauma can shape sexual and relationship patterns without automatically meaning disorder The first things people should think about before opening a relationship or stepping into alternative dynamics Why who you spend time with early can shape your entire experience in the lifestyleGuests Credits Miss Scarlet — featured guest / mental health therapistSponsors / Partners Passionscapes Photography — partner / in-kind support Glitz by Jax — partnerStudio Partner CND — https://couplesnextdoor.com Referral code: DD25Calls to Action Follow and subscribe to The Down Dirty Podcast Rate and review the show Find us on CND and major podcast platformsListen Connecthttps://downdirtypodcast.comDown Dirty Productions is a sex-positive, consent-forward space for honest conversation. This episode reflects personal experiences and opinions and is not medical, legal, or therapeutic advice.
Transcript
Speaker1: Hey, Chuck, you know what happens to me at every fucking party now? What happens? Somebody comes up to me quoting some shit we say. Listen, people, do not take this BS as law. This is for entertainment and educational purposes only. And
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Speaker3: All
Speaker1: right. What's up, Down and Dirty? Welcome back. Welcome back. We have David, the producer, on tonight. We have a special guest. And actually, it's a reintroduction to a guest, Miss Scarlett, one of our
Speaker3:
esteemed
Speaker1: therapists that come on and help us out from time to time and help some of you swingers and lifestyle and E &M, Chuck's favorite new word, people.
Speaker3: I
Speaker1: love when he throws his therapy words out there like he knows what he's talking about out here. And weirdly enough, the Dean is around here somewhere. Also, Chuck D is around here somewhere, but they won't be on tonight. It'll just be us talking to you about a few different, what do you call them? I won't call them issues. I don't know what you call them. Lifestyle -related topics. Pressure points. Yeah, there we go. I wouldn't call them issues. I knew that wouldn't be the right word. But welcome back, Ms. Garland.
Speaker3: Thank
Speaker5: you, Professor. Glad to be here.
Speaker3: All
Speaker1: right. So let's talk about, first of all, tell us a little bit about what you do. Again, let's reintroduce the whole audience to you again. What exactly do you do? What's your practice? Tell us a little bit about yourself.
Speaker5: Okay. So yeah, for those of you who didn't meet me last time I was on, I am a mental health therapist. And I work with people who come from all sorts of walks of life. But my focus is usually people with trauma, trauma stories in their backgrounds. And I'd say about a quarter to a third of my clients would identify in some way as non -monogamous. And that can kind of run the gamut from like,
Speaker3: you
Speaker5: know, living a kitchen table poly lifestyle to going to lifestyle parties to occasionally having something like a hall pass in a primary relationship.
Speaker1: And what is a kitchen table? You said, what is that kitchen?
Speaker3: Kitchen
Speaker5: table poly.
Speaker3: What
Speaker1: is that?
Speaker5: That is a term that people use to talk about like they're polyamorous individuals. And which means that they're in multiple or they they have the capacity to be in multiple loving, like love based relationships and that all of those people, whether they live together or not, they they all are in each other's lives like intertwined.
Speaker1: So it's Polly. I didn't know if kitchen table Polly meant I only got three partners versus five partners. OK.
Speaker3: Yeah.
Speaker5: Some people who are Polly would be like, I'm Polly, but my partners don't know each other. They are not all in relationship with each other. Oh,
Speaker2: they all live in a
Speaker5: commune together? Maybe sometimes. Or sometimes it's more like, hey, like, this is three different households. And we all have dinner together on Thursdays and Saturdays. And we take turns doing each other's laundry, things like that. I mean, there are all sorts of dynamics. That
Speaker6: sounds complicated. It sounds like a ticking time bomb. I don't know. Like, what's the longest you've seen one survive? I can't imagine that we've seen any 100 -year -old or like 80, 30 -year -old marriage types in a poly situation. Plus, it's the poly anniversary. Yeah, like how long do you normally see these things last, the more elements you add to it?
Speaker5: Well, I think for a lot of people, the whole point isn't longevity. It's like we find different ways to meet our needs and our loved one's needs according to what they are at the moment. So the idea might not be like, the goal might not be. I never
Speaker1: really looked at it like that. It's just we out here fucking around a little bit. That's what it sounds like. I'm just going to fuck around for a little bit with somebody.
Speaker3: They
Speaker6: accept that everyone might have a season. Exactly. But not everyone is permanent. Some of them are just seasonal. Yeah.
Speaker5: You
Speaker6: know that, right?
Speaker3: I
Speaker6: mean, it's no different than the swinger world. You get these friend groups that end up five years later don't exist anymore. Exactly. Oh, my season
Speaker1: could be four hours from noon to one is a season for me. That's what I come for. So how many different kind of polys are there? Is there a number on this? Like, you know. Whatever we make up. I'm asking. I'm asking you, Scarlett. Is there like a rule book of there's 18 different polys?
Speaker5: No, there's not a rule book, Professor. There's as many arrangements or kind of combinations of ways people can think about how they live their lives as there are people. Now, are these.
Speaker3: Oh,
Speaker6: sorry. Go ahead. No. I was just. You go. I was just going to say, like, are these, like, when we talk about these terms, are these societal terms made up or these are actually clinically recognized terms and groupings? Well, that's an interesting question.
Speaker1: Like, where do I find you? If I want to Google this shit and I want to see, like, Southern Polly, like, how do I, what do I look for? Why don't you get
Speaker5: on the Google right now, professor, and see what it tells you?
Speaker6: No.
Speaker3: I
Speaker6: don't trust Google. So, like, what is the board of psychiatrics and all that? Do they have established that, yes, all these classifications exist or are these just made
Speaker5: up? No, I mean, this is a social world. So there are scholars out there who study all different forms of non -monogamy, just like there are scholars who study the lifestyle and there are scholars who study BDSM. There's, you know, scholars who study everything.
Speaker3: I
Speaker6: like that world. From now on, I'm no longer the producer. I'm the scholar. Okay.
Speaker5: Yeah, we got the professor, the scholar, and the dean. And then we'll miss Scarlett over here.
Speaker1: Scarlett, we said.
Speaker3: I
Speaker5: see how the hierarchy lies.
Speaker1: Ms. Scarlett, now you said you do a bunch of things, like you're specialized in like trauma and different things like that. Are there therapists that just do, can a therapist just do like poly stuff, E &M stuff? Oh, totally.
Speaker3: So
Speaker1: there's some out there that just do that. Yeah.
Speaker5: I mean, again, I know we're not going to do the Google here, but you could you could search just for somebody who specializes in, I mean, in sex therapy, in therapy for non -monogamous people, kink therapy. You can find people who focus. Is that all under
Speaker1: the same sort of umbrella like sex therapy? Because, you know, when you say the word sex therapy, I instantly think
Speaker3: something
Speaker1: I've seen on Cinemax with the girl in the lingerie. reg, you come in, the couple fucks in front of her, she helps them out. I know that's probably not a thing, but under the umbrella, is sex therapy the same or in the same vein as what we're talking about what you do?
Speaker3: Well,
Speaker5: sex therapy is a specialty within the field. So like, it's something that
Speaker3: you
Speaker5: could be specifically credentialed in. And it's also like, if you're a therapist, I'd say if you're a therapist in 2026, you're probably providing some sex therapy. and we're all trained to think about like the role of sex in life
Speaker3: in some
Speaker5: way or the other
Speaker3: and
Speaker5: I think it's reasonable no
Speaker1: that leads me to another question do you see more when you deal with your your clients patients are they there more for emotional issues or sexual issues like yeah when they come in are they like oh this motherfucker been cheating on me and having sex sex outside of relationship or
Speaker3: he
Speaker1: don't talk to me like he talks to them or
Speaker3: so
Speaker1: isn't all the emotional
Speaker6: issues tied to sexual issues right this
Speaker5: is the this is the thing it's like different things show up for some people things show up in behavior and for some people things show up in feelings so probably fundamentally both those stories you just laid out professor are like at the root it's an emotional problem but it might be showing up in aspects of a sexual relationship
Speaker3: so
Speaker5: like if the a real issue is like, we don't know how to communicate. And one of us is like at home feeling pissed that the other person's not talking to us the way that we want them to. And the other, other partners out acting up, having sex outside without consent
Speaker3: of
Speaker5: their partner, the problem, the problem that's like bringing them to what they're doing is probably fundamentally the same or similar.
Speaker1: Now, what do you, you see, or what have you dealt with mostly in your practice? Is it more poly? Do you deal with swingers? Is it more just, what do you deal with mostly? What kind of patients are you? Like what flavor of non
Speaker5: -monogamy do I see the most? Yeah.
Speaker1: What's your sort of specialty in it all?
Speaker5: I think what I see the most in my practice is
Speaker3: people
Speaker5: who identify either as like poly as like orientation is probably the most common if I were to look across my client list and tabulate it all. And I'd say that's also pretty generational. You know, you all hear, you're kind of old. You calling me
Speaker1: old?
Speaker5: So like when we were when we were in our 20s, there wasn't necessarily much of a template around us. Like, I don't know about you. I didn't know anyone who called themselves Polly when I was in my 20s.
Speaker3: I
Speaker5: started meeting people maybe in my 30s who identified that way. And now I work with people in their 20s who are like, well, yeah, like that's always been part of my vocabulary, my understanding of like the ways that I could live my life. And so it's a lot simpler for people in that situation to be like, oh, okay, I see that's available. That makes sense to me. I'm going to live that way.
Speaker6: Why do you think, you know, I think that's a, why do you think it's more prevalent and more talked about now versus past?
Speaker5: Professor, are you ready for this answer? Because
Speaker3: I
Speaker5: want you to stay awake.
Speaker3: Hit
Speaker5: me. Hit me. I mean, because I
Speaker3: have
Speaker5: multiple answers to this question.
Speaker3: but
Speaker5: I'm not college let me get on that book the bottom line like there's a whole feminist analysis that I'm not gonna I'm not gonna ask you to try to listen to professor but
Speaker3: um part
Speaker5: of it is we don't need you all the same way like women don't need men the same way that we once did and part of and a lot of that is about the like the institution of marriage is just not necessary to like maintain the economic system that we live in
Speaker3: and
Speaker5: i believe that's all
Speaker3: that
Speaker1: makes sense though you know what i mean like because women couldn't do certain stuff or i get it i get it yeah i'm tracking yeah
Speaker5: so we're good now which means like we can go get like whether that is go get our rocks off or go find someone who likes to do this other thing that we really like to do that our primary partner doesn't like to do, like read books or go on walks by the beach. We aren't shackled to that primary dynamic the same way that we have been for generations. I
Speaker6: really want to explore that, but I know we shouldn't because the professor would fall asleep. But that is a perspective that I don't think I've ever really thought of. And it has me intrigued. I'll just leave it at that.
Speaker1: I mean, it doesn't make sense to me. I'm not, Listen, I was tracking. I was tracking. I didn't drift off. I didn't Chuck D - us. I didn't start looking out the window.
Speaker3: This
Speaker5: Chuck D sounds funny.
Speaker3: What
Speaker5: I got out of that
Speaker6: is that the professor owes everything to the dean and should cater to whatever the dean wants because it's for her reason that he is here. What
Speaker1: I got out of that was is that
Speaker3: they
Speaker1: don't need us for nothing, so be happy to be there. That's what she said, basically.
Speaker3: You
Speaker1: don't need me for nothing. Yeah, neither of you are wrong. Neither of you are right. So let me ask you this, though, Ms. Carla. Let me ask you this. And this is just in your opinion. I know you can't say whatever, blah. But when you see these poly relationships come in, like, how many of them are actually, like, successful? successful and you may have a different view of what you think successful is versus what I think successful is but how many in your opinion you're like this is some bullshit or this is successful or I mean I don't think that I
Speaker5: think that I would mark that out the same way I would with excuse me monogamous relationships like you know okay give me
Speaker1: that then give me give me let's say out of the 10 last people that you dealt with in this realm what was the hit rate
Speaker3: but
Speaker5: I mean I think God, that's hard. I
Speaker1: know it is.
Speaker5: I'm going to dodge you asking me to give you a number because I don't think that would be smart for me professionally. But I'm going to say that,
Speaker3: like, yeah,
Speaker5: the same number of relationships that are fucked that are
Speaker3: two
Speaker5: monogamous people trying to make a go of it forever and ever.
Speaker3: You
Speaker5: know, if someone's poly, they're going to go through more relationships in their life because that by definition, they're not trying to make a go of it with one person for their entire life. But I'd say proportionally the same number are fucked. Would
Speaker6: you agree that, in essence, as human beings, we are the common denominator in our issues, obviously. The more you add to that equation, the more complex it gets and the increased chance of failure. Would you agree with that? Well,
Speaker5: sure. I also think that, and this is me like totally sounding off, but people who are poly tend to like be really thoughtful. Like you get into that because you actually like you're really thoughtful about how you do relationships with other people. Like if people just want to have sex with a lot of people, as you may know, there are other options. People who are poly, it's a lifestyle choice or an orientation to life. And so they tend to be like really focused on communicating and building something that works. So it is going to look a little different there. I'll tell you
Speaker1: in my professional opinion, seeing the poly people in different relationships, the hit rate is low. Well, then, Professor, there's
Speaker5: also the goal in it, right? Like a lot of people in poly, again, it's not like, oh, I want to find my four poly partners and be with you forever and ever. No, let's just say that
Speaker1: there's a different belief. Make it to the next party.
Speaker6: Well, I also wonder, Professor, if a little bit of that is the swinger world versus those that are more intentful about the poly life. Yeah.
Speaker5: We
Speaker6: can't deny the fact that the swinger in definition was more of a couple -focused, casual, sexual atmosphere. It was never an emotionally charged environment. So a lot of people that come to the events want to avoid the emotional aspect. back. So it doesn't, it's not a, it's not a petri dish, which that can grow in, I think. I
Speaker5: think that makes a lot of sense. And kind of to your point earlier, professor, about like definitions, we're, we're talking about kind of the meeting of two different definitions here of like the swinger world and the poly world where they meet at in the community that you're talking about right now. I think that that makes sense that that would get a little bit confusing because because it's two different ways of looking at relationships.
Speaker1: So as he just mentioned about the kink world and all that BDSM stuff, do you see a lot of that with people in your practice? A lot of the BDSM say those?
Speaker5: Yeah. I don't think it's probably a surprise to either of you or our listeners to hear that more people are kinky than
Speaker3: are
Speaker5: going to demonstrate that in their public life. Now
Speaker1: let me ask you a question, because I heard this somewhere. I was watching something, but they were saying how, you know, they weren't talking about like poly or swingers. they were talking about specifically people who like, these people were getting chained up and like mutilation. So basically they were like using hooks and all that stuff.
Speaker5: Do you
Speaker1: think like the BDSM part is a lot to do with like a mental, like disability or illness they were saying versus it's truly a choice of just pleasure and kink?
Speaker3: Or
Speaker6: I would, I'd maybe go a little less drastic than a disorder, I'd say. Or is it a trauma response or some type of deficiency in there? Well, the person with the mental illness, I don't
Speaker1: know much about it. Who are you talking
Speaker5: about here, Professor, who's saying this? I was watching
Speaker1: one of these shows on like, you know, those true sex or real sex. I don't know those, but I believe that they exist.
Speaker3: Yeah,
Speaker1: but they were saying like they connected it more to people having mental illness or mental.
Speaker5: OK, well, yeah, I'm really glad this came up because because
Speaker3: that's
Speaker5: super important. So, yes, a lot of people who engage in BDSM do it actually sometimes on purpose, intentionally, sometimes not, but actually as a way to heal trauma. And there is scientific literature on this. How so? How
Speaker1: are they trying to heal it? Like, what's the ideology behind that?
Speaker3: So
Speaker5: for a lot of people, when you think about like whatever it is that's happened to you,
Speaker3: if
Speaker5: something has happened to you that like your body took in as traumatic, there isn't an example of that that doesn't mean that you were forced to relinquish control over something that a human would want to maintain control over. So whether it's like a car crash that was traumatic, you lost, you were not in control in a moment that you wanted to be in control. If you're sexually assaulted, you were taken out of control of your own life in a moment. And so for a lot of people, the like controlled, consensual, and I guess intentional stuff that can happen in a BDSM dynamic gives them the opportunity to reclaim that power. And for some people, again, this is like a very explicit choice. Like I'm doing this because this is the way I'm healing. And for others, it's like, oh, I never actually, you know, you'll maybe you'll bring it up like, hey, in a therapy session or in a conversation with someone, you know, and they'll be like, I never realized that's part of what I was doing there. But it totally is. Do
Speaker6: you find that to be a common undertone to most alternative sexual acts or such as swinging poly? Holly, do you find that a lot of that
Speaker3: is
Speaker6: actually due to some response to something that they've had in their life?
Speaker3: So
Speaker5: I want to put a really fine point on this because in both of the ways that you two both came at this question, it could be said that, and I'm going to use, I'm going to use fancy word here, Professor. It could, that could come across as pathologizing as in like, there's something wrong with you that you're like acting out in this way. And I want to be very clear that I do not believe that that's the case. I think that BDSM, as an example, can be a very powerful intervention into that loss of control. And that when people do that, there's a wisdom inside of them that's seeking out, even if they're not consciously doing it, there's a wisdom inside of them that's saying, I need to claim something back for myself. So, yes, the answer to your question, David, is yes, in my mind. I do think that there's often a connection to like there's something unresolved in me that I'm trying to figure out here.
Speaker3: I
Speaker6: definitely heard the point of that doesn't mean that's always the case. And no matter what theory or philosophy you think about, human nature is always the wild card.
Speaker5: Yeah. And then I think there's so I've a couple of times now tonight used the phrase orientation, particularly referring to Polly. to polyamorous life. But I think it could also be there are people for whom like
Speaker3: they
Speaker5: might say ethical non -monogamy is an orientation. There are people who might say that swinging is an orientation. And I think that that comes down to beliefs that might be driven by stuff that's happened to you in your life, but also could be simpler than that and just be like, hey, like the way I make sense of the world says it doesn't actually it doesn't actually it's not necessary. It doesn't make sense to me that someone would like choose a person to shack up up with and then only have sex with them for the rest of their life. That's crazy.
Speaker3: That
Speaker5: doesn't necessarily have to be more complicated than that.
Speaker6: So what do you think, hypothetically, what do you think motivates the professor to do what the professor does? Yeah.
Speaker3: What
Speaker6: do you think motivates non -professor?
Speaker3: I'm
Speaker5: going to throw that question back. I wish we could do collars because that would be so good to have some collars weigh in on this. It would be a threat to my licensure to weigh in on that question here and now.
Speaker3: I
Speaker1: said hypothetically. If you were walking on the street and you met the professor, what would you think?
Speaker3: All
Speaker6: right, let's get the dean over here to tell us her diagnosis. Let's have the dean answer the question. The dean's gone. The dean
Speaker1: has fled the building.
Speaker5: I thought I would have heard her chiming in by now if she was still in the room.
Speaker1: Yeah, no, the dean's on a mission. She's doing something. So,
Speaker6: audience, what we've learned is even a professional cannot diagnose the professor. He is just a hopeless cause.
Speaker3: I'll
Speaker1: tell you one day. It's the only way to sum it up. I'll tell you what motivates me.
Speaker3: That'll
Speaker1: be my sign -off for what motivates me.
Speaker5: Like and subscribe for that.
Speaker3: His
Speaker6: biography that he's been writing on the back end. What would be the top two pieces of advice you'd give to anyone that's entering into a alternative sexual relationship? Top
Speaker5: two pieces of advice I would start with, know
Speaker3: why
Speaker5: you're doing this. Because if you're doing it, if you're, I think in your cases, like one of you mentioned a few minutes ago, most people who enter kind of the historical tale of the swinger lifestyle is it's coupled partners who decide to do this together. And if that's the case, like if this is a way to address another issue in your relationship, that's not going to work. I think we all we all know enough stories. We don't know. You don't have to be a therapist to know that opening up a relationship as a way to move through something that's actually about the two of you. 23 of those a day.
Speaker3: Yeah.
Speaker5: So figure out the reason. And if the reason, maybe it is as simple as like
Speaker3: one
Speaker5: or both of us wants more sex in our lives. That's got to be stated. That's got to be in there.
Speaker1: That's usually the fucking fix right there. Somebody just gave it up a little bit more. We'd be cool. Is that what you find? I just got like one more dead pussy around here. We'd be cool than a motherfucker. I think sex will heal a lot of problems in a lot of houses. That's all I'm saying.
Speaker5: Totally. Totally. But I think it's also, as we discussed a few minutes ago, not always. There's always something else in there. There's
Speaker1: always something else. But sex will make a motherfucker forget that for about a week, though.
Speaker3: So
Speaker1: you keep giving up more sex, you're just going to keep adding up weeks and we're good. I'm sorry, Ms. Carter, what was your second piece of advice? Second piece
Speaker5: of advice would be communication. It's like it's kind of trite, but I think that's almost always the answer. you know no matter what again no matter what type of dynamic we're talking about who's involved whoever that is whether it's like
Speaker3: a
Speaker5: one -night stand and nothing's ever going to be spoken between the two people again communication is still important in that interaction because consent's important because knowing the boundaries is important do
Speaker1: you know how many people swingers have sex with like i'll probably have sex with over these vast years that i've been doing this with so many people that i never even knew their real name gave me some fake fucking name in a club or at hedonism or something like that. That is crazy that you just said that, though. Like, how many people have we had sex with as swingers that we don't know their names? But the top two pieces of advice I can give anybody coming into this, not the poly or E &M. Did anyone ask the
Speaker5: professor this question? Okay, just checking.
Speaker1: I'm giving you my unsolicited advice here. I want to make sure that nobody winds up in my inbox going, Professor, can you help me with this person who did this? No. Could you listen to my unsolicited advice? Here it is. So you don't end up in my inbox.
Speaker3: Go
Speaker1: to the events.
Speaker3: I'm
Speaker1: here. Go to the events because that's where you get to see people in their real and truest form. You get to see them when they're drinking. You get to see them out. They're dynamic. Everything you need to see and know in real time, not over emails and text messaging. Do that for yourself. So
Speaker5: what I'm taking from this first piece of advice is that you are offering yourself free advertising for your events. and say,
Speaker3: hell
Speaker1: yeah. But also, find the event that fits you. Everything ain't for you because if you come to me crying about, you didn't play enough country and you didn't play enough things from the 40s, ain't your event. So take that shit somewhere else and find the one that played that shit that you like. Because I get that every fucking Saturday night too. I don't want to hear it.
Speaker6: Ms. Scarlett, do you get the feeling that this was actually just a pose for him to have a therapy session?
Speaker5: Well, people usually only get one free consultation and I've already been on this podcast once. So we're in dangerous territory here. No, no, this is called
Speaker1: follow up.
Speaker3: Well,
Speaker5: we did a little couple. It was a little couples therapy last time. True. Because the dean was here. Yeah. The dean
Speaker1: was on here whining last time.
Speaker3: Yep.
Speaker1: Wait, where's she at? No one
Speaker5: else called it that.
Speaker1: Where's she at? She was talking about, I heard her.
Speaker3: And
Speaker1: the other piece of advice, actually you fuck with. Make sure when you get into this, you vet the people that you're going to be hanging with, spending time with because so many people I see get in
Speaker3: and get
Speaker1: in with the wrong crew right away. Take it from
Speaker6: someone that knows. Ruins your experience and your time. Don't. Take the time. I got into the wrong crowd probably 12 years ago right before a party bus, and look who I hang out with now.
Speaker1: Make sure you know who you're fucking with. That will shape your experience because one bad experience sends a lot of people away from this lifestyle, and all they had to do was switch up who they was kicking it with.
Speaker3: It
Speaker1: would have took one. That's for y 'all swingers. I don't know anything about if y 'all poly people and kitchen tables and all. Y 'all could take anything from that.
Speaker3: Well,
Speaker5: it's a swinger podcast. That's okay. I'm here to represent the broader.
Speaker3: I
Speaker1: don't know. I'll let you talk to your people.
Speaker3: It's
Speaker6: funny the fact that the professor is probably one of the most experienced poly people also around, but yet he does not consider himself poly.
Speaker1: I don't know if I am. I might be poly. I don't know. How
Speaker6: many times do we have to tell you you are and how many more examples do you need to know? How many, what's the longest girlfriend you've had while also being married? A long time. Years? Years, yes. So by definition, would that not make you poly? But we fucked with other couples, like just randomly. That doesn't mean polys can't also be swingers. We didn't have a relationship with them. It sounds like you're talking about a
Speaker5: Venn diagram here, Professor.
Speaker3: Look
Speaker1: at this, more words.
Speaker3: Professor,
Speaker1: you
Speaker6: better get to your game before we lose you for the night.
Speaker1: Okay, yes. We wanted to make sure people know that Miss Scarlet is just not all business, that she can let her hair down also. So around here, we've started playing a little game. David's producer, what is it? It's Polly. You're going to be in a relationship with
Speaker6: this person. It's one night stand or friends with benefits or polyamorous, which means you're in a relationship with them.
Speaker1: Now, you frame this in your mind however you want. So we're talking about
Speaker5: like, fuck, marry, kill. Yes, this
Speaker1: is our version of that game. Now you frame it however you want, because we get some interesting answers on here that I'm like, what the fuck? It's almost like the time Chuck D told me that Indecent Proposal was his favorite swinger movie. He blew my mind with that shit. I was like, what? That's not a swinger movie. But
Speaker3: maybe
Speaker1: it is.
Speaker6: So here's your - He brings this up all the time. It's a thing with him. It's
Speaker1: crazy. Since
Speaker6: the day Chuck D said that on this podcast, the professor cannot let that go.
Speaker3: I'll
Speaker5: tell you I've never seen that movie.
Speaker3: What?
Speaker5: I'll put it on my list. Yes. You have to watch it.
Speaker3: Okay.
Speaker1: So here's your three people, right? And you have to pick
Speaker3: Prince
Speaker1: with Benefit, One Night Stand, or you're in a relationship. Pauly. All right. Matthew McConaughey, Smithy Chalamet, and Morris Chestnut.
Speaker3: What
Speaker5: a terrible group. I don't even know who the third one
Speaker1: is.
Speaker6: You
Speaker5: don't know who Morris Chestnut is? Say it again. It's One Night Stand, Friends with Benefits. And
Speaker6: Pauly. And I did hear you heard my man, Matthew McConaughey there. I did hear that. You love
Speaker5: him?
Speaker6: I do enjoy him. Chalamet?
Speaker5: Chalamet's the one night stand. Going to get him out of there as fast as we can. Why? I'm not interested.
Speaker1: Like he's not your physical type? You think he would be not intellectually compatible with you? Why not? Yeah. All other things.
Speaker5: Matthew McConaughey, friends with benefits. That's interesting. Because he's not bad looking, but I don't want to hang out with him too much. I
Speaker6: just think Matthew McConaughey would be fun to smoke with. Him and Woody Harrelson. I mean, sit around, fire, and do a smoke. Yeah, you put Woody Harrelson on this list,
Speaker5: and that's a different story, actually.
Speaker3: I
Speaker6: mean, you could use Matthew McConaughey to get to Woody Harrelson. Yeah, I'm sticking with Morris Chestnut. We were talking about Matthew McConaughey.
Speaker5: I don't care. Like, the other two, I was just trying to fit into a category. But Morris Chestnut will be in a poly relationship, absolutely. Thank you very much.
Speaker1: Here's the next one, and this is specifically, I'm going to put you in, this is an entertainment one. This is going to be
Speaker3: John
Speaker1: Legend, Jay -Z, or Lionel Richie.
Speaker3: I
Speaker5: have to work backwards. Can you say we've got John Legend, Jay -Z, and
Speaker1: Lionel Richie.
Speaker5: Okay. I think John Legend is pretty annoying, right? Isn't that the story about him? Like his personality might be actually kind of annoying. John Legend's not here getting a bad rap these days. Oh, professor. We're putting Jay -Z in the one night stand category because I just don't think he's a nice guy. I don't want to hear on him much longer. Why do you think Jerry's
Speaker2: not nice?
Speaker3: I
Speaker5: mean, I'm thinking about, like, you know, he's obviously held on to something pretty precious for a long time. But I think that that whole infidelity story with him. Oh, with the Salon elevator
Speaker1: shit? Man. Maybe that was Pauly and Solange didn't know. Yeah, Becky with the good hair. Maybe, listen, if you're that famous, I am of the ilk that if you are that famous and you don't have an arrangement with your wife, Like, you're traveling on the road, you're away for months at a time, and you're not getting no other pussy. Y 'all is lying to yourselves.
Speaker5: Well, sure. And they might have, yeah, the whole thing obviously might have been, like, a very good story. Yeah. I think she found out. Put them in all of our heads. She
Speaker1: was supposed to find out. But them two was cool. Because Beyonce ain't got to stay with him. You know what I mean? Like, she could go and. Right. They're both good. Yeah. Like you were saying earlier in your description. I don't need you for shit. Yeah. I don't need this. Yeah. She's the ultimate only. Beyonce especially, she
Speaker5: doesn't. Right. So he's staying in that category anyway, though, because this is a superficial game. And I get to be superficial and say that he's the least good looking of them all. Okay.
Speaker3: Wait,
Speaker5: I still have to pick between the other two, though?
Speaker3: You
Speaker1: do. This is the interesting part. This is why I gave you these two.
Speaker5: Yeah. Okay. I'm going to flip it all. I'm flipping it entirely, actually.
Speaker3: Okay.
Speaker1: I'm
Speaker5: going to be in a poly relationship with Jay -Z because he's obviously got some kind of skill there. If he's helping.
Speaker3: you're
Speaker1: just shamed to his advantage yeah
Speaker5: and because
Speaker3: now
Speaker5: I like I like went to the actual picture in my head of Lionel Richie
Speaker3: and
Speaker5: I think he's going to be the one night stand
Speaker3: oh
Speaker2: Lionel
Speaker5: I'm going to be friends with benefits with John Legend
Speaker3: thank
Speaker5: you and you're welcome you
Speaker1: see that's what the listeners wanted to hear they didn't want to just come to you because you knew all your shit they wanted to know you were fun and relatable shit like that you're welcome Miss Scarlet
Speaker3: Well,
Speaker1: David, the producer, do you have any more questions for our lovely guest tonight? No, I think we've covered a lot. We have. This was more interesting than I thought it would be talking therapy shit.
Speaker3: Thanks for
Speaker1: the vote of confidence, as always. Thank you so much for your time. We kept him engaged. Congratulations. You did good. We appreciate it and hope to have you back on soon.
Speaker3: Thank
Speaker5: you so much. Happy to be here.
Speaker3: All
Speaker1: right, Don and Dirty, check
Speaker7: you out. Hey, Dave, where can people listen to today's episode? On downdirtypodcast.com or on any major platform. Hey, Dave, what's the best lifestyle website in the world? Well, of course, that's couplesnextdoor.com, where you can unlock desires beyond the ordinary. Hey,
Speaker2: Dave, who made
Speaker7: it possible
Speaker2: to listen to today's episode?
Speaker3: The
Speaker7: Down and Dirty Production Company.
Speaker2: Hey, Dave, who's taking them sexy photos for the cover art? Passionscapes Photography. That's my jam in the background. ground hey who is that sounds by victoria i like that hey dave where can i get some of those sexy outfits my lady friend blitz by jacks.com
Speaker3: what
Speaker2: the fuck up how are you doing that shit again this dumb as shit hey
