Send us Fan MailTuesday Talks: Escaping the Clingy Couple—Vacation Edition | Episode 67In this episode of The Swing Nation Podcast, the top-rated podcast about non-monogamy and swinging, Dan and Lacy are back with another Tuesday Talks segment, where they tackle real questions from real people navigating the lifestyle.This week, an anonymous listener shares a story from their recent trip to Desire Resorts. On the very first night, they connected with a new couple and had an amazing play experience—but things got tricky when that couple seemed to latch on, expecting continued play for the rest of the trip. Now, the caller is wondering how to gracefully set boundaries and explore other connections without creating awkward tension.Dan and Lacy offer candid advice on handling expectations, communicating with kindness, and maintaining your freedom to explore—even when the vibes are strong on night one. Whether you re planning your first lifestyle trip or have been in similar situations, this episode is full of helpful tips on navigating post-hookup boundaries while still keeping the fun flowing.Juan Deepa “Sex House Slays” mix OUT NOW! https://on.soundcloud.com/RTdJ9N5ubrH2QzoP1t- The Swing Nation - Main Website Quick Navigation Website: -- (Find all our social media links more!)- Swinger Society - Our Website to meet, connect events Swinger Society Discord Our Facebook Group- Swinger Websites -Kasadie 90 day free trialUsername: TheSwingNation SDC 14 day free trial Username: TheSwingNation** Use code 36313 for 14 days free! ** SLSUsername: NorthernGuynSouthernGirl- Merch More -Order Your Merch Here!- Lacy’s Fun Links -VIP OnlyFansPREMIUM OnlyFans-- THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS --Wisp : Making sexual healthcare inclusive, cost-effective, and accessible—for everyoneUse Code SWING at checkout for 15% off your oder!Shameless Care: ED Medication and at home STD testingUse Code TSN at checkout for $30 off your order!Promescent® Make Love Longer, It’s Time for Great SexUse Code SwingNation for 5% off!Sing it Bikinis: adjustable one-size styles, thoughtfully crafted to flatter every body type.- Thank you for the support! -
Transcript
Speaker1: This podcast is intended for adult audiences. Over the age of 18, it contains adult language and situations. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this podcast belong solely to us, and not of any employer, organization, committee, or other group or individuals. This podcast is not intended to be taken as professional advice. Speaker2: Welcome to the Swing Nation podcast, a podcast by swingers and for swingers, where we look to educate others and push back on the negative stigmas and misconceptions associated with our lifestyle. Come with us and share our pineapple journey as we travel the globe. Interview the activists, learn and grow together. Speaker1: Join the activists. Learn and grow together. Join the nation. So, Lacey, people are asking, how do they get to go to a party or an event with us? They check out swingersociety.net. You create a you sign up for an event and you come hang out with us Speaker2: super easy that's right if you want to party with us and the other faces and names that you know from social media and tiktok head on over to swingersociety.net can't wait to see you there Tuesday Talks Just send your questions So Dan and Lake said Tuesday Talks Swing Nation got you feeling sexy hey there pineapple people and welcome to the swing nation podcast we are your hosts northern guy and southern girl and we are back with another tuesday talk episode we are talking tuesday with dan and lacy like that yeah that was really good all right if you hear thunderstorms in the background it's because it's uh it's raining and thunderstorming thunderstorming i'll try to clean that up when i Speaker1: edit the audio but you know sometimes you still hear that stuff and we have three episodes to record because we're leaving for hito on friday so we got to get this done and i don't know how long the storm's gonna last so let's do it yep all right are you ready yeah let's go to the phone lines you don't you have no idea what this question no i didn't listen. Let's see. Hey, Dan and Lacey. Just wanted to say I love your podcast. And when my husband and I got started exploring the lifestyle, I listened to just about every episode you had. And that helped me tremendously. And we've been exploring for quite a few years now and loving every minute of it. So my question is in regards to when you do an LS vacation. My husband and I recently went to Desire Riviera Maya, had an absolute blast. It was our first time doing an LS-friendly vacation. And we met a great couple the first night. And much to my surprise surprise we ended up in the playroom with them that first night um so great had a wonderful time um we were both really physically attracted to them and loved hanging out with them however the next few nights it was almost like an expectation that we would hook up with them every single night and we felt I mean we loved it we had a great time but yet this was our first vacation um at Desire we wanted to explore and you know maybe meet some other people or you know maybe see um you know what some other options were but yet we didn't want to just ditch this new couple that we had met the first night because we generally did like them so do you have any advice how to go about that um we ended up did meeting another didn't meet another couple on our last night um because the original couple had left home a day before we did um but had they been there the whole time i don't know that we would have met this other couple so any words of of advice would be great. We are heading back to Desire in October. And I would love to hear what you had to say. Thank you. That's a good question.
All right, so just to recap that a little bit, if you didn't hear, they went to Desire on the very first night. They met a couple, ended up in the playroom with a couple.
Speaker1:
Sounds like they had a good time sounds like they even like this couple um but the problem was now the couple basically followed them around yeah for the rest of the time they were there which seems like it hindered them meeting other couples and maybe which is engaging with other couples yeah which is this is a good lesson because you don't want to be that other couple so i mean i can see us even doing that with like if we didn't know anybody and we hit it off with somebody the first night i could see us like seeing them in the crowd and being like hey you know like kind of naturally gravitating towards them so i think this is a good lesson for both sides of this well and this isn't what she asked but i'll even add this to that you even see this if we know like a couple locally here yeah and we went to somewhere like desire or hedo together yes this happens what happens to a lot of couples is that couple that they know from home is now attached themselves we do it to other couples and other couples probably done this somewhat to couples that we know yeah we have um just because it's naturally we're drawn we know each other so first thing we're going to be is like hey you know or we're gonna you know leave our rooms at the same time to go to the party like hey are you ready yeah we're gonna head out and then like unintentionally you're like hindering each other from stepping outside of that friend group and we actually get like critiqued online because people feel like we stay within our friend group too often um but a lot of times this just happens uh not not on purpose it's just because it also makes natural to want to like gravitate towards the people you know right but it also makes sense that if you fly to jamaica you're in this resort with hundreds of new people that you don't know i think it's also okay that i don't just want to hang out and hook up with a couple that we know from our hometown that we could fuck and hang out with on any weekend right so i think one yes that's your friend and you're genuine and you want to hang out with them and you want to them because you care about them but there's some side of you that's like hey we're on this vacation to meet and explore with new people too well that friend probably feels that same way too you know even though we're all gravitating towards gravitating towards each other they also probably think they should step out and explore the question is how do you do that um you have to be intentional with what you're doing um i think it's even okay to be open and honest about it but like we had a freaking blast y'all tonight last night but tonight we want to see if we can meet someone new we're like you know this is our first lifestyle vacation we kind of want to just you know like maybe if we hit it off yeah yeah explore options um but i think what works for you and i is we just like to do orgies and when people say why do you like doing orgies this right here is a prime example because you're not just with one couple you can each go find a couple and then you have four couples to have an orgy with so i think i think unintentionally that's what we end up doing just because it's super hard to divide your time and you know why fuck one when you can fuck four guys that's you know my advice it's true our a big reason i think we are in so into group play isn't necessarily that it's the best situation or the best sex you can have. I think it's probably better when you're like two on two. I agree. But because we have so many friends and we want to make new connections, you know, if you're only somewhere for two nights or even five nights, you know, if you have 20, 30 friends there, you don't have time to connect with all the people that you want to. So for us, group play is a way that we can do that yeah and i can i can think of like cases years ago where we had friends and we were like at trapeze alana and they were like let's get a big orgy together tonight so i'm gonna go find a couple hot couples and you go find a couple and like we'll meet back together you know and so i mean it doesn't have to be like an awkward conversation you know it could be as it could be something like that but it also could be as simple as like the husband pulling the husband's inside like listen we had a fucking blast with y'all we totally want to do it again but this is our first lifestyle vacation and we're really like we're really here to explore and kind of have all these different experiences so tonight I think we're going to mingle but in no way does that have anything to do with our time with y'all last night it was a blast i just wanted to be upfront and honest and i think that always is going to be okay and if they get mad at that or their feelings hurt i would rather someone i think it's actually okay if you say that that they do get their feelings hurt a little bit yeah i think i would rather somebody be mad at me for me being honest than like kind of ditch them. And then they feel like you didn't, then they're mad because they feel like you don't like them. So that's just me though.
Speaker3:
Yeah. It's funny. You know,
Speaker2:
we've said this a hundred times. The answer to anybody's question in the lifestyle is always communication. Like that at the end of the day is always the answer. So I think like Lacey's saying, being direct with them and saying,
Speaker3:
man,
Speaker2:
we had a blast with you guys, but this is our first lifestyle vacation and we want to try to make some new connections and explore, you know, other things i think it's completely okay to say that and the only other real way to do that is to kind of like try to ditch them right like oh they're at the pool let's not go to that pool let's go hang out over here instead and just avoid them which is awkward which is awkward and then they're going to think like oh they don't like us or they didn't have fun with us but you had a great night with them so to just say hey we had a great night with you but this is our first vacation we're trying to you know see how you know we're newer in the lifestyle there's things that she wants to try and experience or if i want to try and i want to experience i just i think that's okay like making being honest okay you know like well not that's the truth because it's easy to say that it is but then when you do that right you go to this couple you say that they might get their feelings hurt they might get upset with you and now now you just you know maybe potentially what was a blossoming friendship now maybe if you avoid them you're gonna have the same issues and then they're gonna think that you didn't enjoy having sex with them well and honestly if this is a couple you don't really know being upfront and honest with them and then seeing how they react to that is probably the best way to see like is this a friendship i want to maintain long term right because if you are upfront and honest with them and they do get upset and get mad and don't want to hang out with you anymore well that's probably not a couple that you wanted to invest time anyway because they clearly need more attention and time than what you were looking to give another couple yeah and you know like one thing i think a lot of people that kind of lose in the middle of all this we we've done it before i mean but like we have to remind ourselves at the end of the day it's it's about you and i talking about dan and myself it's about me and you so when we leave desire we leave jamaica we leave secrets we leave wherever we are if we are good and we have a great experience then that's really what it's about our relationship how we communicate with each other if a couple's upset upset because we didn't fuck them two nights in a row well that's on that couple you know as long as we communicated clearly we were up front we were honest and you and i are good everything else it doesn't really matter yeah i mean that's sometimes can be hard to hear but it's true it's almost like a huge life lesson that i think you know as we start to get older you realize more and more that stop living life life to make other people happy it's okay to put your happiness first it's okay to put our relationship first if we pay five thousand dollars to go on a vacation we don't need to spend every day trying to make this other couple have a good experience so they don't get mad at us we should just go have our own good experience and if they do get mad then that's on them not on us and truth be told we need to take our own advice i don't want i don't a lot of time this like we say before this is a lot of therapy a lot of these questions that y'all ask are very good reminders for us because we get bogged down we get you know we don't want to hurt somebody's feelings we don't want to piss somebody off and now with this platform that we have if we turn somebody down they may go online and tell everybody that we are stuck up and we didn't want to fuck them or you know like there's a lot of reasons for us to then you know like so we get it and we need to take our own advice is what i'm saying i don't want it to come across that like oh we're perfect and we do this every time no we struggle with this also this also. So this is a great reminder for us. Yeah, I think the answer to the question is easy. I think executing that and actually doing that in real life is way harder to do than just saying that this is what you should do. Yeah. But I do think there's, you know, being upfront and honest is the best policy. Like Lacey said, you know, group play, right? Going to it and saying, hey, tonight we want to try. If they're coming to you and it's clear to you that they're trying to hook up tonight being like hey we wanted to try the the playroom tonight or you know we were thinking about maybe trying to get a group together tonight uh experience that maybe that's their thing maybe not that's not their thing but at least you're you're saying hey this is what we want to do if you guys want to do it too you're welcome to come but if not this is what we want to do yeah and and go with that and we do do a pretty decent job at that no we do a good job of that i will say we very rarely make specific plans with a specific person we typically leave it open ending and honestly there's very few times where we ever go to a playroom when like someone's not invited we don't typically do that we feel like the more the merrier and it is ultimately up to you as the individual person to be able to communicate who you want to play with and who you don't want to play with yeah I think for us that the biggest you know when we go to public playrooms we try to invite everybody and everybody's included where we get in trouble is when somebody invites us to their yeah like they arranged an orgy or something and they invited us to theirs but maybe didn't invite other people that we're friends with and then those people are getting mad at us it's like well it's almost like we're inviting you to somebody else's party you can't really do that yeah yeah same but it's always just hearing ourselves talk i'm like man this sounds fucking complicated it does you know i mean yeah but we do it yeah make it work this is why the lifestyle gets the lifestyle is drama yeah and you know we always push back and say oh we avoid drama and that's true we do we try to avoid it at all costs but the truth is when people's feelings are involved and when you're trying to navigate multiple relationships with multiple couples and you're fucking them and you're having sex with them all at the same time it gets messy it gets complicated it gets it gets to be drama um our drama is often you know shared on tiktok lives and stuff and people get to see it first time but but no this is it's normal like you know it might seem like this is a lot to talk about it might seem like oh my oh, my gosh, it's worth it. But I think the answer is what we just said. Put yourselves first. Your primary relationship, the person that you're in love with, the person that you're living life with and living life with, if you always put them first, I think that will be the right answer when you're navigating the lifestyle. And be honest. though it's hard it's so hard yeah but it's like you said if you're not honest it usually just makes things more complicated and the outcome ends up being worse than if you were just honest to start yeah and you know you're gonna not listen to us and you're gonna try to protect people's feeling and you're gonna try to wiggle your way around it and not be honest and it's gonna come back and it's gonna bite you and like it has us too right and you'll learn from that and you'll grow grow from that yeah and that's why we say this is a journey and it really is right and you're gonna we're gonna make mistakes you're gonna make mistakes um but just know you're not in this alone we're all doing this together and we, at least most of us, are trying to do our best to protect as many people as we can to not hurt feelings. But still, you know, put ourselves first.
Speaker1:
I'm like the ultimate people pleaser. Like I want everyone to be happy and everyone to like me. So I struggle with this a lot. I just, I don't know. I care about people. I don't want anybody to be left out or not included.
Speaker2:
And I just, yeah, it's harder for me and it's going to be harder for others like that too and then there's going to be some people that are extremely direct and like i got this so yeah maybe hopefully you're married to them well and sometimes it's refreshing though we have people be direct with us and it's almost like oh okay cool yeah thank you you know yeah like okay that works totally yeah all right i hope that answers your question great question and i hope i don't know if we really gave you the best answer but being open and honest i think is is the key uh and then maybe suggesting you know if there's things that you want to do letting that couple know hey we want to do these things and if you know if they can be part of it inviting them and if not just say hey we're going to try this tonight we'll see you guys tomorrow night that's completely acceptable all right so if you have a tuesday talk question we would love to hear from you we could actually use some more some more questions uh specifically voicemails we've been getting a lot of texts and emails but we could use some more voicemails and uh if you'd like to call in and ask a question, that number is? 972-302-7716. One more time. 972-302-7716. You can also text that same phone number if you don't want to leave your voice publicly, don't want it shared publicly. We read all the texts. Or you can email us the swing nation at gmail.com we'd love to hear from you we need those questions to keep this going so call write text uh can't wait to hear from you yeah all right anything else for the swing nation listeners no that's it all right i think with that in a world full of apples be the Be the the pineapple guys bye bye if you've enjoyed our podcast and want to support us leave a five-star review wherever you're listening if you want to see more of our content you can find links to snapchat twitterFans, and more in the show notes.
Speaker3:
Come join the conversation with us and other Swinger content creators on our Swinger Society Discord server. If you have questions or feedback, email them to us at theswingnation at gmail.com. Make sure you head on over to theswingnation.net and keep up to date on all things Swing Nation. We thank you so much for joining us, and we'll see you next time. Goodbye.
