Amen, Athena! Post-card profile = No. Same goes for bad grammar, spelling and punctuation. The occasional typo is understandable, and fuck spellcheck...if ever I want to say “ducking”, I’ll fucking well type it that way. Until then, leave my fucks the fuck alone.
Your
Your Profile Info
We like wordy profiles. They tell me a lot about the person or couple. One liners just indicate that the person who posted the profile is somewhere on the spectrum of insincere to flat out fake. When we read a wordy profile the first thing that catches our attention is grammar and sentence structure, If we cannot make heads or tails out of a profile we quickly lose interest. If the profile bores us we lose interest as well. a long winded profile gives us the opportunity to determine if the person who wrote it is actually describing themselves or just filling a computer screen with fluff and bullshit.
Agreed, Nauti. Bad grammar and punctuation are like nails on a chalkboard to us.
Before I start I must apologize in advance for the following opinion. Bad spelling and grammar are what immediately turn us off when reading through write-ups, of any length. Obviously, there has to be physical attraction, but hot bodies and faces lose a bit of "hotness" in a poorly written profile.
You're = You are /
Your = Belonging to you /
Too = Also /
To = Approaching or reaching a destination (other definitions also available) /
There = In a particular direction or location /
Their = Belonging to them /
They're = They are /
AGAIN, sorry and no offense or disrespect intended; and yes we know our profile could use a good editing.
It's great to see so many different takes on the topic. Yes, there is no right or wrong answer. We're not looking for a LTA (Long term assignment) but just folks with the same general interest. We've met folks that were great to be with, and folks that made us run in horror. (You know, make up excuses to leave, We've all been there. LOL ) The length of those folks profiles were a mix of both, so all those words didn't make them better or worse.
Now, we never play on first meeting, and we do want to get to know the folks we meet. If all cliques, great, if not, Aloha.
And that's the rest of the story,...... Paul Harvey
"Also, you made Goodenuff's head spin all the way around, so that was fun."
Yeah, it's been awhile since we had a good exorcism in here. Friday; What an excellent day for an exorcism.
The power of the Forum compels you.
Now that sounds like an offer we can’t refuse!
Nashville isn’t far, we just need to find some time for a weekend trip.
;^D
~S~
First, many thanks for the compliments. We feel the same way about y'all. We've looked at your profile more than once when we first joined and took inspiration from it. We don't travel out of our area much (kids still at home) but if you're ever up our way, we'll buy the first round (or 10)!
On topic: We'd have to agree with y'all on physical attraction. We both have to find our prospective playmates attractive, which includes their attitudes. We're more apt to find a candid photo of them clearly in love and laughing more intriguing than any nudes. Having said that, we do generally look at pics last, but not always. For us it has to be a solid combination to make us reach out, or respond positively.
"but for us, personality alone doesn't make us want to play."
wiggles puppet desperately
Great perspective CatchyNickname, we all do have our own way of approaching things but ultimately we end up in the same place.
For example, we took a peek at your profile and as per usual, scrolled through your pictures first. What we found were attractive, fit, sexy people having fun with some artsy twists that also conveyed a sense of humor.
So we moved on to the written content and found the words matched the pics. Interesting, concise, detailed and a positive take on what you are looking for and a little self-deprecating humor in describing yourselves. And your idea of play is a match with ours. Ding Ding Ding, we have a winner! You are definitely a couple we would reach out to or respond positively to if you reached out to us.
Now, had we read the profile first and looked at the pics second, we would have arrived at the same conclusion. It is just more efficient for us to see if there is a physical attraction first which takes a quick scroll.
Maybe we could be called superficial but it is our belief that if there isn't some attraction, what's the point? Personality is a great compliment and can raise a maybe to a "hell yeah" or occasionally turn a yes to an "oh HELL no" but for us, personality alone doesn't make us want to play.
~S~
Interesting to see the different perspectives. Some like hot photos, where we are just the opposite: an artfully crafted photo is intriguing, but the sculpted bodies, implants, and/or perfect grooming typically associated with “hotness” are much less so.
Perhaps it’s because face-to-face meetings sometimes reveal the 1000 words their pictures told weren’t exactly truthful: The photos are old, photoshopped, or taken by professionals, and only match the person you’re meeting if you squint really hard. (Disclaimer: All our photos are taken by amateurs on cell phones, and are no more than 18 months old. Several are less than 30 days old. The only photoshopping is to hide our faces, or BFM’s because I thought it was funny)
Experience (25 years off and on of online dating) have taught us that the most common lie in a profile is one of omission. People try to craft a profile that doesn’t turn anyone off, so they omit the things that might be disqualifiers. Because people in general don’t want to risk rejection, they want to DO the rejecting, they craft a profile that casts the widest metaphorical net. They haul in their catch, toss back the ones they don’t find appealing and head home. Were they to be more honest, they would have fewer “fish” to choose from and the likelihood of their needing to face rejection by reaching out to someone themselves increases.
The irony is the percentage they keep is likely small, since they cast a wide net, but a more focused approach would yield a greater number of “keepers”. That’s been our experience, at least. The good experiences far outweigh the few we wish we had thrown back. Even those taught us things about ourselves and/or the LS, so none are without some kind of value.
We definitely need some substance in a profile. With nothing other than "let's fuck" we have no idea whether a meet will be successful. Granted nothing is guaranteed but we think we improve our chances of success if there is more in common than hot bodies.
Also, for us pics rule people out. We're more attracted to personality than looks. But there are some looks that just don't do it for us - looking to you ZZTop beard.
You're adorable. ;-)
My profile is pretty short. I kept paring it down until it only wasted about seven words. But I'm looking for a very specific set of traits for very specific reasons, while also attempting to minimize the number of emails I have to respond to negatively. If my goals were something else, my profile would be different. My dormant couple's profile was about twice as long and significantly more detailed, plus it deliberately made us sound like fun.
With photos, I just need to not be turned off. Profiles do need to be pretty well written, with no negativity, but I don't care if they're short or long.
Word
First of all, for most people, the hotness of the pictures take precedence over the content of the profile.
Beyond that, the importance of the length of the profile text depends on how entertaining it is. A well written, humerous read that goes on for several paragraphs is great, as is a short and sweet witty two-liner.
By the same token, a long, boring list of rules or bullet points of everything you don’t want or one liner cliches are automatic rejections for us. Unless the pictures are REALLY hot. Lol
~S~
As with all things, there's a balance. Between a profile being too long or too short. Vomiting out word salad to the point where there's literally nothing left to ask, versus "We're a couple who wants to play. If you want to know anything else, ask us." Yes, I've seen lots of profiles with both extremes, and I generally eliminate both types from consideration, but especially the too short ones. Personally, I need to see a reason to explore the person/couple further, something more than "we want to play". Just enough to entice me in, to want to learn more.
To use a fishing metaphor, fish don't bite on a bare hook. You need bait to draw them in. But if you toss the whole bucket of bait in with your baited hook, it'll get lost in the cloud of fish guts, little baitfish and worms.....
Okay, maybe that's not the best metaphor to use.....
“Just my opinion...”
This.... is exactly what it is and all it is. No one right, no one wrong.
If your profile draws the type people you want to be associated with, great.
Ours being different than the OP’s profile, our female requires a male half to be somewhere in the public photos and the male half wants to see more than tit shots, both hoping there is more to be offered than a female being marketed for a couple.
Our profile also eliminates almost, .......almost all those dreaded emails asking, “what are you into?” and “What are you looking for?”. Write it one time, not every time.
Some make their profiles into simple mathematical equations (You(+)us=fuck) that you can quickly check off and we thank you for not having us make a shopping list of questions to type out.
~Allen
“If you have more than 4 or 5 sentences, your ether asking or telling way to much...”
Would this be a bad time to note that your profile has thirteen sentences?
(I’m just poking at you a little.)
And don’t get me wrong, I believe the work that you and a few others do over in the Better Profiles section is commendable, at the least.
At the top of my list of agreements would be the idea of marketing yourself, to say nothing of trying to avoid giving someone a valid reason to say “no” based on your profile contents.
It’s why I asked for your specific help once (to which you graciously agreed) with my own.
I do believe, however, that there are some who overthink the thing a bit at times. I see their comments and extrapolations occasionally and I think to myself, “really?”
I agree with you, MsGolly...but I don’t.
Dear Tramp, is my laziness one of the things you love about me? Because it was in full (not at all), glorious display this morning.
You wrote: "I don’t believe that the rank and file people on these sites do nearly as much deep analysis of profile narratives compared to what a handful of the forum posters believe...but I could be wrong."
I agree with you and that people looking for potential playmates mostly don't do deep analysis. Really, it's probably something like yay to ugh. Where you're wrong is thinking anyone believes most of the people looking profiles do deep analyses.
Some people know what they like and why (CatchyNickname would be an example of that group), but successful marketing doesn't depend on a thoughtful, analytical audience. Where the analysis comes in handy is in crafting your marketing plan, aka your profile.
So, that's why Better Profiles threads read the way they do. It's people reacting to profiles and then drilling down into those reactions and explaining why they had them.
So, you're right about the important thing and wrong about what your handful believe.
Also, you made Goodenuff's head spin all the way around, so that was fun. ;-)
"You tell me that I’m not wrong but wrong, then you make my point for me. I’m now thinking that makes me not right, but right."
Dafuq did I just read?
GGMM: Couldn't agree more about a profile being a marketing document. It's in the same family as dressing well, taking provocative photos, or flirtatious behavior. They're all designed to draw the right kind of attention from the right kind of people. If you're truly being yourself as you do all those things, then you're bound to find exactly who you're looking for.
On Topic: We're at the opposite end of the spectrum from the OP. To mangle a cliche, birds of a feather fuck together, and we enjoy our different plumage. Doesn't make the OP wrong, nor us right, just different and that works really well for us.
We are at the far end of the spectrum when it comes to content in profiles, both as posters and readers. We aren't likely to respond to a couple whose profile and/or email fits on a gum wrapper. The longer the profile, the more is revealed (both good and ewwww). If we don't read enough to get us intrigued, it's a No. If we find enough to put us off, it's a No. We firmly believe it's better to find out now than during a meet and greet!
The root is that the mind is the sexiest body part for us. A sure-fire way to get our attention is with a witty turn of phrase, primarily because I can't resist bringing them to the Mrs. We've found more than one member of our tribe that way.
Can we get bored? Absolutely. Does our lengthy profile put some people off? That's extremely likely, and validates our reasoning while composing our profile. We've cut down the "Y'ounto?" emails to almost zero and nearly eliminated the contact from superficial couples while increasing the volume of emails from potential members of our tribe. We know we miss out on some folks who might be a lot of fun, but our dance card stays as full as we want it to be so we're content with things as they are.
MsGolly, this is only one of the many things that I love about you.
You tell me that I’m not wrong but wrong, then you make my point for me. I’m now thinking that makes me not right, but right.
"I don't believe that the rank and file people..."
Eh. You're not wrong, but you are wrong. I think when people look at profiles, their responses sort somewhere along the spectrum of oh, wow to ugh, hell no, with little to no analysis attached. But there are actual reasons for those responses or at least things in profiles that elicit positive or negative reactions.
The OP is an outlier, as is anyone else who has very definite and exacting opinions about how other people must show up. For the vast majority though, it's generally enough to eliminate any hint of negativity, have photos that invite you to look, and a profile that fairly represents who you are and what you want. Make the right sort of changes (which sometimes takes an outside eye and a "hey, were you aware you were indicating x, y, and z?") and what is essentially a marketing document becomes more effective.
